One Year of IMO with Michelle and Craig
52 min
•Mar 13, 20263 months agoSummary
Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson celebrate IMO's first anniversary, reflecting on memorable guest conversations and personal growth. The episode features highlights including discussions on setting boundaries, parenting philosophy, and Craig's emancipation at 13, interspersed with a Black Jeopardy game and musical performances.
Insights
- High-achieving individuals struggle with perpetual self-doubt and guilt even after significant accomplishments, requiring intentional therapeutic work to reframe self-worth
- Parenting impact is measured in small moments of presence and attention ('pennies in the bank') rather than material provision or career grandeur
- Life success should not be defined by single achievements but understood as a series of chapters, each valuable for learning and growth
- Setting boundaries and saying 'no' is particularly challenging for women of color due to historical messaging about needing to work harder to prove worth
- Authentic presence and lack of ulterior motives create trust and belonging, even in unconventional circumstances
Trends
Mental health and therapy normalization among high-profile individuals and younger generationsRedefining success away from external validation toward personal fulfillment and intentional life designParenting philosophy shift from material provision to quality time and emotional presenceWomen's autonomy in decision-making and relationship negotiation post-Roe v. Wade concernsIntergenerational wealth building through entrepreneurship and financial literacy from childhoodCelebrity culture examining the cost of public life on personal identity and family dynamicsPodcast format as intimate storytelling medium for building community and authentic connection
Topics
Mental Health and TherapyParenting Philosophy and Child DevelopmentSetting Boundaries and Saying NoWomen's Autonomy and ChoiceChildhood Entrepreneurship and Financial LiteracySibling RelationshipsPublic Life and Personal IdentityGrief and LossSelf-Worth and Imposter SyndromeWork-Life Balance for High AchieversIntergenerational Trauma and ParentingCareer Pivots and Life ChaptersPodcast Community BuildingAfrican American Cultural CommentaryFamily Dynamics and Unconventional Childhoods
Companies
Shipt
Same-day delivery service sponsor offering groceries and goods from retailers like Target, Safeway, and Albertsons
Growth Therapy
Virtual and in-person therapy platform connecting users with licensed therapists, accepting 100+ insurance plans
Wayfair
Home furniture and decor e-commerce platform offering mid-century modern and various style options with fast shipping
People
Michelle Obama
Co-host discussing personal growth, therapy, parenting philosophy, and her experience in the White House
Craig Robinson
Co-host and Michelle's brother sharing childhood stories, emancipation at 13, and family dynamics
Barack Obama
Referenced for his parenting approach and ability to balance presidential duties with family presence
Taraji P. Henson
Guest mentioned for heart-to-heart conversation on the podcast
Bruce Springsteen
Guest discussed complexities of parent-child relationships on the show
Damon Wayans
Guest who shared hilarious sibling stories on IMO
Marlon Wayans
Guest who shared hilarious sibling stories on IMO
Kenan Thompson
SNL cast member featured for Black Jeopardy sketch recreation and discussion
Chadwick Boseman
Referenced for his memorable Black Jeopardy performance on SNL
Oprah Winfrey
Referenced in Black Jeopardy sketch regarding wealth and influence
Beyoncé
Referenced in Black Jeopardy sketch regarding music industry success
Cardi B
Referenced in Black Jeopardy sketch regarding music industry success
Kamala Harris
Referenced in Black Jeopardy sketch regarding political representation
Harriet Tubman
Referenced in Black Jeopardy sketch regarding historical Black female leaders
Malia Obama
Michelle's daughter mentioned regarding White House upbringing and family time
Sasha Obama
Michelle's daughter mentioned regarding White House upbringing and family time
Quotes
"Parenting is pennies in the bank. It's not about the big things, it's about the small moments of presence."
Michelle Obama•Mid-episode
"Life is made up of many moments. Our legacy is not just that one thing we did. It's the many things that we did."
Michelle Obama•Mid-episode
"I had to convince myself that I had done enough. After all that I had done in the world, I still felt guilt."
Michelle Obama•Early-to-mid episode
"Women are shock absorbers. And that's exhausting. And it's not healthy."
Craig Robinson•Mid-episode
"I didn't know my why. I knew my what, but I didn't know my why."
Michelle Obama•Late episode
Full Transcript
This episode is brought to you by SHIP. Hey everyone, our podcast IMO has officially reached its first anniversary. And this past year has been filled with so much fun and so many special moments from heart to hearts with Taraji P. Henson to the complexities of parent-child relationships with Bruce Springsteen, hilarious sibling stories with Damon and Marlon Wayans, and even a controversial opinion on ketchup from my husband. The first year of IMO has brought us some truly unforgettable moments. And while these conversations have given us the opportunity to connect with some of our favorite people and share our perspectives with each of you, what I love most about this show is I get to do it with my big brother Craig. Oh, your sweet meesh. I am. This year has been life-changing and there's no one I'd want to have these conversations with than you. To our IMO listeners, thank you for joining us on this journey. I can't wait for what year two of IMO will bring. And make sure you follow IMO wherever you get your podcast so you can get new episodes as soon as they drop every Wednesday. We can't wait for you to tune in. And don't forget to subscribe to our newsletter for the latest updates at imopod.com. We hope you enjoy this special bonus episode made up of some of our favorite moments from the first year of IMO. You know what's funny is we didn't, I didn't go get my brothers when I got my friends. I would get my sisters. Yeah, my sister was Vishad Devon. Devon one time this kid Baldi Joe was beating me up and he was like a 16 year old kid and my sister had corn rolls. She was about 250 pounds. She said, come here. She grabbed him by his arms like this and she said, Marlon punch him in the face. I was like Devon, he gonna beat me. She said, if you don't punch him, I'm gonna punch you. I was like, wow. And you know, my sister's always, always had my back in that. Yeah, I didn't get my brother because I had to get beat up. Like bad. Like so Keenan used to walk around and come through slippers like he was. He was just a target. He was just a target. Jim killing these and he loved, he had noon chucks he would have like, and he was really good. He would kick the ceiling and then one day he got into a fight with this dude Bobby Boyd in the in the building in the lobby of the building and Keenan, you know, everybody's like, oh snap. And then Keenan went to take off his shirt. Oh man. And the dude snatched him with like with his shirt. And just pummeled him and like Keenan was on the floor. Oh no. And there was like blood, sleep, sleep, and full of shirt. And I'm like, get up, Keenan used to noon chucks. Get up, you can do it. You can do it. Untangle your arms from your shirt. Oh no. This guy you looked up at. Don't be a Keenan. Don't be a Keenan. If you do make sure you take the shirt off. Make sure you get a feeling. It's like, oh man, that Bruce Lee didn't wear more of that. Don't lock yourself up in your shirt. You know, oh man. Bruce Lee didn't wear pullovers. He did. He did. He did some more. You know, when I hear you talk about the practice, what I'll call the practice of no, because you're absolutely right. I know that everyone struggles with disappointing people with trying to set boundaries. But I particularly relate to, you know, what you were saying about, it takes you a while before you, you know, maybe as a woman, as a black woman, where we feel comfortable saying, no, I was sitting here thinking, well, why is that? And why was that for me? Because this is something that I am working on right now. You know, I, I, like you, I have believed in therapy my whole life. You know, done couples therapy with my husband, both my girls are, they believe in therapy this generation. Thankfully, I think our children are way more open to it. They understand the importance of self-help and all of that. I also sort of realized that, you know, even Michelle Obama, I am still trying to tell myself that I am doing enough, right? Because there's always that feeling. I think we practice that striving because in order to be successful, I always felt like I had to be smarter, faster, work harder because somebody was going to doubt me. Somebody was always already telling me why I couldn't do something before they knew me or even try. So you get in the, and I don't think this is unique to just women of color. I don't think it's just unique to men. But when you get in that habit of that constant striving and constant proving that, you know, it's enough, it makes us overachievers, but you don't ever turn that off. And at 60, I was still, I had to convince myself that I had done enough. After all that I had done in the world, I still felt a guilt, right? Struggling with like deep guilt that maybe, maybe I needed to do a little bit more. So I'm at this stage in life where I have to define my life on my terms for the first time. So what are those terms? And going to therapy, just to work all that out. Like what happened that eight years that we were in the White House? What did that do to me? Yes. Internally, my soul, we made it through, we got out alive. I hope we made the country proud. My girls thank God are whole. But what happened to me? Right. Right. Right. And going through therapy, you know, is getting me to look at the fact that maybe, maybe finally I'm good enough, right? And unlearning some of those messages that I've been saying to myself, and then trying to actively practice something different to rewire those neurons in my head that make me keep pushing and keep striving. And so practicing no in a very different way intentionally. But then this is what makes it hard because, you know, my decision to skip the inauguration, you know, what people don't realize or my decision to make choices at the beginning of this year that suited me were met with such ridicule and criticism. Like people couldn't believe that I was saying no for any other reason that they had to assume that my marriage was falling apart. Right. You know? It's like, while I'm here really trying to own my life and intentionally practice making the choice that was right for me. And it took everything in my power to not do the thing that was right or that was, was that, that was perceived as right, but do the thing that was right for me. That was a hard thing for me to do. I had to basically trick myself out of it. And it started with not having anything to wear. I mean, I had affirmatively, because I'm always prepared for any funeral, anything. I walk around with the right dress. I travel with clothes just in case something pops off. So I was like, if I'm not going to do this thing, I got to tell my team, I don't even want to have a dress ready. Yeah. Right. Because it's so easy to just say, let me do the right thing. But then you become a shock absorber. Yeah. And that's what women are. Shock absorbers. And that's exhausting. And it's not healthy. It is not healthy. You've had to be shock absorbers for your husband, for your children, for your mom, for your family, your loved ones, because of where you were sitting in the public eye. That's not fair to you. When do you ever get to live for you? I applaud you. I am, I'm happy that you are taking care of yourself in the way that you need to. Thanks to our friends at SHiPed for sponsoring this episode. With SHiPed's same day delivery, I never worry about how I'm going to get my shopping done for a few reasons. 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They connect you with thousands of licensed therapists across the U.S. with virtual or in-person sessions, including nights and weekends. You can search by insurance, specialty, identity, or availability, and start in as little as two days. No subscriptions, no long-term commitments, just pay per session on your time. Whatever challenges you're facing, growth therapy is here to help. Growth accepts over 100 insurance plans, including Medicaid in some states. Sessions average about $21 with insurance, and some pay as little as $0, depending on their plan. Visit growththerapy.com-i-m-o today to get started. That's growththerapy.com-i-m-o. Growththerapy.com-i-m-o. Availability and coverage vary by state and insurance plan. In my opinion, and this is controversial in my family, you should not eat ketchup after the age of eight. Is that all condiments or just ketchup? No, no, no. I think you've gone down an age on that one. I think every time you say it, you make it younger and younger, and pretty soon it'll be like a four-year-old, you're fine. We don't have a ketchup sponsor on this show. That well that we won't name. I have nothing against- And we here at IMO have nothing against ketchup. I have nothing against kids having ketchup, ketchup on their burgers, ketchup with their fries, even which is hard for me to watch ketchup on hot dogs. But at a certain point, you know, you've got to kind of grow. Why are you cutting the people off of ketchup? So young, dude, that's what we take issue with in our household. I might be a little too draconian. I think that's the word. Draconian. I'm trying to describe a general point of view, which is ketchup has its place. You should grow. It sounds like you're saying ketchup is childish. What I'm saying is, is that when I see a grown person pouring a lot of ketchup on something. Is it the amount of ketchup? Is it just ketchup at all? Is it a lot of ketchup? Or even if you have a dollop of ketchup? I told you this was controversial in my family. I see. But I figured I'm coming in here hot. Well, and now you know that in addition to like clicking my teeth along this straw to get on your nerves, I just have a dollop of ketchup. Ketchup, right? At every meal, just to be like. That explains a lot because there's always ketchup at your house. So it's not like you're battling against the man. It's not forbidden. We are trying to live our lives with ketchup. Freedom for ketchup. He's the only one. Everybody else is fine with ketchup. In fact, the girls have all these complicated. How are you mixing it with this? Oh, yeah. Yeah. It hasn't rubbed off. He's had no impact. We have that in our house too. There's no one's following his lead. Okay. Okay. That's a tough one though. It's never hard. It's harsh. It is. It's hard. It might have been overly harsh. I mean, I know. But every time he says it, the age goes down. Your mother-in-law likes ketchup. Everybody likes ketchup. It's like the cut-off. It's like now we're at it. And now you've got it down to age. We've got it down to age. I'm just thinking that the mother-in-law, like that's all they don't even want. The ketchup is the actual. Everything else is the ketchup delivery system. It's the delivery system. Now you're just taking it. But we appreciate your opinion. There you go. I want to get back to because one thing I didn't ask about. You were emancipated at 13. I've read that. Yeah. If you read that about yourself, tell us more about it. Yeah. It's not often that. And at 13. And what led to that? Did you just walk out the door? Did you just say, hey, okay, thank you, everyone. I'm going to take all my books and I'm on my own. I don't know how to put this without sounding facetious. But if you came from a Bible reading, believing family, then you already knew I was going to do what Jesus did. Okay. Bounce. Okay. Now go find a temple to turn over tables. But this is the life of a Christian revolutionary. I got to you way ahead of me because even if I wanted to leave at 13, I wouldn't have had the nerve to do it. Nor I would be aware with all that I could do it. It was a terrible idea. I don't talk about it because I don't want any young person to hear that and think that it's possible that they can pull it off. Hearing that it's terrible is useful. But it wasn't. I just say that. It wasn't terrible? No. No, of course not. I'm the adventurer in this story. Are you kidding me? Okay. Call me now, sir. I'm grown. Got a mustache in the city. I'm 12. Welcome. Now it's my turn. I'm picturing a little cat. Did you have the stick in your goods and a little her chief? No. Did you walk out with a suitcase? No, I had a full suitcase and a Rottweiler puppy. You left with it all? That's tinned for failure. It's like, and of dependence. I'm taking a responsibility. Exactly. It's like, man, and I'll take this puppy. So where'd you go? Where was the first place you and your puppy, Rottweiler puppy, went when you left your house? Miami, Florida. You went to a whole other state. That was always the thing. How'd you get to Miami? I went to a truck stop. Oh, the best place to go. Wow. Because everybody's going out of here. And so then I checked license plates because I was looking for a warm destination and I was hoping for LA or California, but Miami presented itself and the guy let me and the Rottweiler puppy get in the back part of the empty truck and he would stop everyone. So did you have any money? Well, we would have loaded the route. I was loaded. I must have had $1,200 and you could not have told me that I was a million. Oh, yes. $1,200. Yes. How did you get all this money? So the only thing I was allowed to do, I was allowed to cut grass in the summer and I was allowed to shovel snow in the winter. So I probably had 60 clients on each end. Oh, that. I'm only making. Because you were an entrepreneur. I own the lawn mower and the shovels. Wow. And so me having money just gave me the ability to not have to wear the clothes that my parents wanted me to wear to school. I could wear that out, go change, get into something, fly and presentable for school. And then like I was living multiple lives, but the money made it possible for me to have that freedom and I learned that pretty early on. What was your alter ego with your money when you went to school? Were you one way at home because you were dressing different and then you took your lawn mower money and went to school in your whatever. Who were you? I had a relationship with the candy lady. So I was in sales already and I was buying at a wonderful price, upselling and supplying schoolmates with candy and treats. You were the kid that had the now ladies. Plus I had money. So I didn't have to. I was able to treat the women that I liked. Nice. Really nice. Nice. I learned that supplying happiness to people. So you were Money Micah early. Yeah, Money Micah. Is that where your character came from? Money Micah, you were practicing that at 13 with the candy business. It seems like it's all planned out, but God showed me early on that there was this pathway and I wasn't really certain of how to make sure that I was on it or Wow. So you get to Miami. Yep. So we get to Miami. With your puppy. Yeah. This trip probably only took us maybe three days at the most. Maybe two. It was a really nice ride. But there, so I'm there and I just had never seen a place so big with so many different neighborhoods and a different culture and ethnicity every three blocks. And it was really a bit of a culture shock. But I found a place in Coconut Grove at a park and that's where I made my residence. And it was across the street from a library. And so I would, eight hours a day, I would be in a library reading. And so you just camped out? Literally. Literally. Did you buy a tent with your money? No, ma'am. So you just laying out on the grass with your puppy, a 13 year old? No, no, no. They had a whole little segment of population that this was kind of a, in the homeless world, this was kind of a gated community. Yeah. Yeah. This park by the marina behind it so you can encroach in coconut grove. So yeah, I was able to purchase a brand new mattress the first day I was going to have to sleep so I never slept on the ground or anything. And remember my clothes are all dress clothes. I only have slacks and white shirts and ties. Is anybody like, I'm just trying to picture this. I can't picture any of this. And I'm still like, are you telling the truth or you joking? Because I'm like still trying to picture you. You went and bought a mattress. How'd you get the mattress to the park? I mean, I brought it. They delivered. Oh, you went to a store and you had them deliver your mattress to the park. There's a homeless hierarchy in the place that I was at. So there was a guy who was in charge of whether or not you got to be there or not. And because of my age. How did you convince him that you should be there? I didn't. I've lived, I have a presence. Yes, you do. And I'm one of the people that doesn't have ulterior motives. And most people I found do. But even at that age, I didn't have any. And as far as we're concerned, you're in our family. I feel that way. I mean, just sitting here and talking about that path. I don't think that. Well, I know you must hear this all the time. But we had a happy, beautiful family. But your talent, your gifts, the structure of your show, how you showed up in it, like Craig said, your humanity before the show, your honesty throughout your career. That kind of stuff has been as impactful to my development as my parents. Because that's the role modeling. You see a smart woman. Because what is clear through this is that you've always been that woman. Smart, courageous, bold, and you just brought that to your show. And that came into our living rooms as part of an important experience of seeing what you could be. You're going to make me cry. Oh, thank you. I'm so touched and moved. You mean the world to us. And thank you. You know what I want to do? I want to sing. It's so nice. That's the heaviest time together. That's the time together. I love it. Just to have a laugh or sing a song. Seems we just get started and before you know it. Comes the time we have to say so long. All these youngsters have no idea what we're doing. Oh, thank you. I've got chills. We played a summer tournament about two hours away. And as I think back, I wish we had considered staying in an Airbnb home instead of staying at a hotel. We would have had an opportunity to eat together, watch film together, as well as control the curfew of a bunch of 13 year old boys. I also think that it would have given our parents a break from their children. As you can imagine, coming together as a team outside of the game is as important as what you do on the court. And having the ability to hang out together at an Airbnb would have given us that extra opportunity to bond. And if you're thinking about the big tournaments that come into your town, now is a great time to think about hosting fellow fans and players during the season. I mean, as a kid, I was very concerned about stability. And my mom, my mom was an amazing person, but she was not very parental and my dad had died. And I very much wanted to know what was happening. And I used to read my mom's journal. I used to monitor her phone calls when I was a kid. Like I wanted to know what was coming down the pike. And I started working when I was 12 to earn money because I was very concerned about like my mom's on shaky financial footing. And even though the world probably thought she was super rich, but she spent a lot of money and had no sense of money. And I knew this from a little kid. And I remember I was actually walking up the stairs one day and my mom was on the phone. She said starting the somebody in the phone. She said, well, I'll always be able to make money. And I stopped and I was like, this ship is going down. If she thinks she's always going to be able to do this, like, And how were you when you heard that? I was like 12. So you knew? Yeah, I knew. I knew early on. Are you the oldest? No, I was the I was the youngest. My brother was two years older. And but he wasn't as like focused on this as much as I was. I was really determined. And yeah, I started, I mean, it was ridiculous. I started working as a child model at 12 to like to help help the family. I mean, not that they, you know, I wasn't I was saving the money because I was like, I'm going to need to I'm going to I'm building a life raft here. But but she was remarkable. And and, you know, I was always very sympathetic to my mom because she really didn't have parents of her own. She was kind of her dad died when she was an infant. She was raised in hotels in Europe by her mom who just wanted to party. She was a subject of a vicious custody battle when she was 10 years old. It was called the trial of the century in the Depression. And, you know, I kind of saw a sadness behind my mom's eyes her whole life. And I I didn't understand what the sadness was from, but I was sympathetic to her. And so even if she wasn't the most kind of mom, mom, she she was I viewed her as a I mean, from the time I was little, I viewed her as like a space alien whose rocket ship had had like yeah, you know, failed and landed here on earth by accident. And it was my job to like help her like rent an apartment and learn how to breathe oxygen. That's that's a level of worry that most young people. Yeah, but look who's talking. I know I know I was just going to be I listened to you and I think about him. And he's the oldest. I think you called it catastrophic. Yeah. I was a catastrophist. He was a catastrophist at that age in the same way that you were, you know, really thinking, OK, all the worst possible scenarios. And I think he felt like the one that had to know it all. He was going to be you. That's interesting. Like if things fell apart, if our dad ever could never function, then Craig was the one who was going to make sure. That's interesting because the title of this book, my mom and I wrote together, which ended up being basically our correspondence over the course of the year, was The Rainbow Comes and Goes, which is from a Wordsworth poem and was a poem my mom liked. And for her, it meant, well, The Rainbow Comes and Goes, it's always going to come back. And so like bright days are just ahead. They're just around the corner. The phone can ring and your whole life can change. And for me, the title is like, yeah, The Rainbow Comes and it goes. And yeah, the phone can ring and your whole frigging life can change. Like I saw it from a negative lens and she saw it. She like could not. It was such an interesting kind of. Different way of saying stuff. Yes, you just try to be realistic. Just cover all the bases in case something happens. It's a fine line between realistic and pessimistic, I think. That's right. I think you too fell on the pessimistic side. Somewhere in theistic family. I realize the parenting is pennies in the bank. It's that time when you were working and you didn't want to stop, but you did, that made a huge difference to me because if I'd have failed, I always felt if I'd have failed with my kids, I would have failed tremendously in life. I like what you said that parenting is pennies in the bank. And that just resonates because I think of, you know, I think of my upbringing. And I've talked about in a lot, you know, we were working class, poor working class family. Father was a city worker. He did not make a lot of money. He did not have a title. He was not famous. He wouldn't be on a regular schedule. We could go for a week and not see him because he was working a shift. But when he was present, he was present in very small but meaningful ways. That's wonderful. Something as simple, you know, I recall like the special treat before dinner, if he was there or after dinner was that we get him to play a game, any kind of game, you know, a tickle game, a card game. And it just felt like such a treat that this big important man who had all this responsibility got on the floor and played with us. He delighted in our presence. Yeah, that's wonderful. And what I tell a lot of parents is that a lot of times we work for money and things because especially if you're poor, you think, well, if I could give my kids more, we could live in a bigger house. If I could put them in the best schools, if I could give them the nicest sneakers, right? That that is going to replace it. But it's the pennies in the bank that matter and everybody's got some pennies, you know. Kids don't need the stuff. They just want the pennies. Very important. And I think a lot of men lose sight of the fact that a lot of what they're working towards is just their goals and ambition. You know, and I think men should have that. I think everyone, men, women, people have to have their own lives and their own ambitions, but have it and say that's for you. But your kids, they just want pennies. They want the pennies. They really do. They do, yeah. Yeah, you're never too poor to be a father. No, to give time and attention. You know, artists, the worst, the worst, so self-involved. Yeah, yeah. You know, oh my God, you know. You get so caught up in your own inner world, you know, because that's where you sought refuge. You know, when things weren't working out, when you were younger, you sought refuge in this inner world. I think the point you're making is that, you know, it's easy to get lost in the grandeur of your life. Exactly, of yourself. Of yourself. I had to deal with a lot of the grandeur of myself. Yeah. Yeah, because that's the thing everybody's taught to pursue, you know. It's like, that's the brass ring. And that's why parenting is a group sport. And I think Barak is just like you, is a tremendous father. Doing it in a lot of grandeur, right? You're the commander-in-chief of the United States of America. And so finding that balance of, you know, when you've got the nuclear code in your grasp and world leaders calling you and big important, heavy decisions coming at you every day and valets and aids and on and on. And security and, oh, it's just all grandeur. Trying to wipe all that stuff away and leave it at the door before you enter, before he would enter the residence of the White House to sit at a dinner table with his two daughters and only talk about them. It was important for both of us, for me and Barak, to carve out that time in those eight years when our girls were in their formative years, you know. Yeah. They'd lived long to Malia and Sasha in the White House and they've lived in any house. That's amazing. They were formed in that house and around that table in that residence. And it took a mighty effort to leave the grandeur at the door and to just be there and talk about fifth grade. And, you know. Even in my job, you know, it's like, hey, you're on the road, you're king. So I remember when I did the Kill and the Bee, everybody kept saying, this movie is going to be a hit. This movie is going to bust it out. This is going to be your star. And like, it's such an elusive thing because what's the star? You know what I mean? Yeah, yeah. Right. And how old were you then? I was 11. 11. She's just like. And then we're like, this is, I'm like, this is huge. Really, whatever that is. I guess I'll be Michael Jackson now. You know, like, it was like huge. And then the movie came in and did so terrible in the box office. Although that was one of my favorite movies. And then the funny thing about it is like, over time, it could be my most popular film. And the thing that people most know me for. But I use that as an example in this is because our life is made up of many moments. It's not made like our legacy is not just that one thing we did. You know, it's the many things that we did. And so like Akilah Nabe was always there for people to come to and remember my work. And it grew over time amongst all the things I did. But I remember feeling in that moment being like, everybody lied to me. You know what I mean? I felt like when my mom told me I was going to be a big girl at five, I still didn't get big. I was like, now wait a minute, I'm still shorter than y'all. It sounds like big girl just means I can't be a baby. Exactly. This don't seem right. How I felt with Akilah thing. And so, but what I learned and what I never did to myself after that was to expect an outcome, to be proud of the work, to be happy that I got the job or the thing that I wanted to get or did the, but not to not to make it mean that it is only that if I receive a certain achievement. No, it's that to me and that has to be enough. So that's the one thing I thought about when that happened. That makes me think, I mean, I share this all the time. I mean, I went to Princeton, Harvard Law, because I thought I was going to be a lawyer and a corporate lawyer. I didn't know anything about what a lawyer did. I didn't come, our family was, we were not professional people. I picked law because it was the next thing to do. I applied, I got into Harvard, you get into Harvard, you go, right? That was the extent of my thinking. Yeah. Right. And then I got out, I practiced in a firm for two years and I was like, I don't like this at all. Yeah. I'm not, because corporate law is about it's papers and briefs, it's research, it's not very people oriented, especially in the, your early years. It just, I had no idea what corporate law was. Right. And I had a, I had wonderful mentors, people supported me. I was able to achieve and do good things in that year. But I didn't know what that felt like. I did not want to be a lawyer. And it turns out after all that education and all those loans, but to your point, it was all them loans that we just paid off before Barack went into the White House. Okay. So, I mean, we were carrying debt, for a very long time for me not to be a lawyer. But to your point, I had no idea what that was gonna mean and what that was gonna feel like. It was just a goal that I set for myself. I didn't even know what it was based on. Yeah. I didn't know my why. I knew my what, but I didn't know my why. And I could have felt like a failure for you, right? But I didn't. Unfortunately, I had parents. I was like, let me try on some other things. To your point, there are chapters in life. That was a chapter. I needed to do that and know that and understand that. And I went on to have many, many chapters. And I'm still glad that I got my law degree. The way I think, how I see the world is very much influenced by that education. But it wasn't who I was supposed to be. And there's no way I would have known that had I not tried it. And then moved on from it and tried on some other thing. Yeah. For Noel, there are just, that life is about the chapters. It's never any one thing. And to place too much stock or put too much emotion on one or two achievements, it always sets you up for disappointment. It's so cool. Because life is bigger than that. Spring always makes me want to refresh my space and make my home work a little better. 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Everything showed up quickly, fit perfectly in the space, and immediately made the house feel more put together. Find furniture, decor, and essentials that fit your unique style and budget. Head to Wayfair.com right now to shop all things home. That's W-A-Y-F-A-I-R.com. Wayfair. Every style, every home. Where we go? I want to hear my song. Which one? Okay, here it is. It's so good. It's so good. This is the best one. Here it is. And it goes a little bit like this. Now don't clap because I'll go off rhythm. Because I'm just, I've written some... White people. Because you got... Baby, when the white people chime in on the rhythm, I'm about to give them know something now. I love y'all. Let's cut this part out. We want to keep our way to audience. Listen, I love my white people. I do. But y'all just, when we start doing things, just sit still. Now, there's Miss Diane Carroll, Lena Horne, and Eartha Kidd. They stay on top for ages, but their looks never quit. Now, when white women get older, their skin gets creased and lying, But because of my race, look at my face, So there's a baby behind me because black don't cry. Mm. Da-da-da, da-da-da. I tell you black don't cry. Da-da-da, da-da-da. Now Cardi B and Beyonce certainly know how to make a buck. But being sued for fights or on Grammy nights, they don't need no nipping tux. Da-da-da-da-da. Tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch, tch. Da-da-da-da-da. Now Harriet's got her railroad. So Jernah's got her truth. So Kamala Hats and Jasmine Crockett could be a choice at the voting booth. Oprah Winfrey's got her billions. And Michelle's got Obama. And I still look good out in Hollywood, playing everybody's mama. I tell you black don't cry. Oh. So white girls, get your face lifts to your foreheads on your back. Because I'll be having fun out in the sun. Because baby, black don't act. Woo! And then shaka-kan. Ha ha ha ha ha. That's the orchestra gone. Shaka-kan. Da-da-da-da. Got to love it. The thing is I stay open. Probably more open. Way open. Oh my god, that sounded so wrong. I didn't mean that. Mom. My heart. Your family. My heart stays open. Your heart literally stays open. Yes. Yes. That was hard. More open than it should be. But I do date. And it's a fascinating adventure out there. Mostly, though, I think there's really good men out there. I think to a certain extent, I'm a very unique unicorn of a woman. And so it's going to take a unique person. And in the meantime, I have really learned how to live my life and enjoy it and not sit around waiting. I was saying to someone recently that I'm one of the first generations of choice. And it's not anymore, which really, there was a window. And that has shifted. And I do think that that's going to change dating for women so much. When you mean you've been the product of choice. Yeah. Like the assumption of Roe v. Wade and the ability for a woman to find her own delight and pleasure and choice around how she navigates dating or how one would navigate dating. And we're in a different world now. And I'm curious what that will look like. It frightens me for younger girls because, many reasons, obviously. But even with the systemic protection of Roe v. Wade, I still was coming up against the cultural norms of being a choiceful woman and owning my own body and my own choices and what it is that I'm looking for in a relationship and the ability to negotiate in a relationship what it is you want the relationship to be between the two of you, as opposed to what society says it should be. We could not have Keenan Thompson on this podcast without doing one of my favorite skits, which is Black Jeopardy. Let's go. Black Jeopardy. Craig and I have always thought we'd be pretty good at it. It looks a little hard. I'm a little intimidated. But I thought that if you would indulge us, you would give us an opportunity to play a couple of rounds. I love Black Jeopardy. It was one of my favorites. Shout out to Chadwick because he had the greatest Black Jeopardy ever. Oh, yeah. That's good, dude. Incredible. I think we coined the phrase Karen off of that sketch. That's Karen. What is? A Karen. She might put something like raisins or something in the potatoes out. OK. As you know, Black Jeopardy has a bunch of different categories. Different ones that like our categories today might be. You better say it right. Fixing your plate. Don't touch that. Oh, you fancy. That ain't it. Black Twitter University. Good classics. Black dads be like, et cetera, et cetera. OK. OK. All right. This is the sibling competition. Good luck. Good luck to both of you contestants. Good luck. We should hear about today's prizes. We'll do that later. I feel like Cadillac might be involved. All right. Our first category, that ain't it. That ain't it. All right. The question is, a friend who says they don't do seasoning is also what? Not of colorful pigmentation. What is not of colorful pigmentation? Not of personal color. That's close. Do you have an answer? Not invited back to my house. That is uninvited. Uninvited was the answer. All right. The next category, Black Twitter University. What does she ate and left no crumbs mean? It means she told you off and left you with your mouth hanging on the floor. Yes. We need a ding. Ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding. We would have accepted she slayed, she delivered, or that was flawless. OK. You're in that real house. Yes. What's the score? 2-0. Come on, Craig. All right. All right. What's up, man? My buzzer works. That's it. Black jeopardy. You know what I mean. Yes, but no. All right. This is hood classics. OK. Hood classics. OK. Hood classics. This item doubles as a weapon, a shoe, and an expression of discipline. What is mama's fluffy pink house shoe? Ooh, yes. Ding, ding, ding, ding, ding. That's right. That was too specific. Did you have the answer? No, I was embellishing as I was just going to say. House slipper, mama's sandal. OK. Or that flip flop with precision aim. Right. So yes. We all know that boomerang jokes from the great Eddie Murphy. Incredible. All right. Black dads be like, what does your dad say every time he walks past the thermostat? What is, we ain't trying to heat up the whole, cool down the whole neighborhood. You got one? I do. What is, nobody should be touching this who ain't paying rent. Close. Both of those are very close. We have, why do it feel like the top of the list is the best place to be? Why do it feel like the tropics in here? Y'all paying the light bill? Or touch it again and see what happens. Oh, yes. It was close. Yes. Let's split it between the two of you. OK. So what is it, 2-1, 3-1? It's 2.5 or 1.5. 2.5, 1.5. OK. That's close. Come on. OK, OK. All right, church folks. OK. If someone shouts, take your time, pastor. They probably mean what? They probably mean hurry up so I can get to the repass and have some fried chicken. That's right. Y'all are so specific with it. Ding-ding. Geez. Get to the repass and have some fried chicken. That's usually a funeral. I know, but it's a discernment. Unacceptable answers was wrap it up. We hungry and you dragging it. Mama said. Mama said. Mama said, if she uses your full government name, including the middle one, what does that mean? Oh, I think the sale was first. You about to get your butt whooped. You about to get it. That is the answer. Let's go. Craig, where you at, man? I'm right here. Your hand is too far away. You're probably, you need to be better. You got to be closer to the butt. I got to get a question before it. But that's because I might be in the way. OK, OK. Just hover around. OK. The vision is going to be impressive for the question. Category. You better say it right. Better say it right. When a black auntie says bless her heart, what does she mean? What is she's doing something wrong? You got a better one? What is you have no talent at whatever it is you're trying to do? Y'all be a nice. We would have accepted she being shady. That girl is struggling or she a mess. She a mess. Nobody got that one. Yeah, we would try to be too nice. OK, OK. We try to be too nice on that one. This next category is fixing your plate. Oh. Where is your mama's potato salad recipe stored? That's you, Craig. What is in the middle of the Gideon Bible? Is she don't write the recipe down? She knows it in her head. That's a good one. That was a good one. That was a good one. That was cool. That was close though. That Gideon. You got to keep it getting close. You got to keep it close. All right, next category. Oh, you fancy. OK. She got on hoops, a side part and baby hairs laid. What does that mean? Who got that? I think it was Craig. OK. What is mama's going out tonight? Close. You got one, Michelle? What does that mean? It just means it's a Tuesday. Then when she got her business, yeah. She not playing. She mean business and don't try her. That's basically what y'all said. Give them both a point. All right, this next category is only two more. OK. You got a chance to catch up. Don't touch that is the category. When your mama says she watching her stories, what is she referring to? I think that she means... What is all my children, Brian's hope, one life to live? That's right. Any of the daytime soaps. That's right. What is general hospital at our house? General hospital. No, he doesn't get that. Soap operas, yeah, no. You got that. Yeah, come on now. That was a good one. That was a good one. That was a good one. This is the bonus question. So this is the key word. What's the score? We got 5.5 to 1.5. Oh, man. So this one's worth 4. You gotta make this word. We got to make this word. 5 points for a time. So if somebody wins, 5 points will be 6 points. Yeah, that's right. That's right. 4 points will be 5. Yeah. Yeah, that's 5 points to be good. OK. So this is a 5-pointer. OK. I'm nervous. OK. So this is the bonus question. Barack hit you with the, now let me be clear. What's coming next? Michelle. A 20-minute answer to a question. 100%. A whole-ass TED talk. Listen, listen, listen. That's just they married. That ain't married. That ain't married. That ain't married. That's just I didn't make up the questions. I think we got a champion. I think you were too laid up off the buzzer. No, it wasn't the quickness. It was my answers. I was trying to be creative. It wasn't a nice, strolled-down black memory. It was love, really. It was love. It was love. It was love. Old auntie's and that Bible was baby hair. Yeah, baby hair. I love it. Shout out to the coach. Hey, I'm Anderson Cooper. Grief can feel so lonely. But talking about it and listening to others share their experiences helps. It's probably the only thing that's really helped me. On my podcast, All There Is, we explore grief and loss in all its complexities. You'll hear deeply moving and honest discussions with people who have faced and are living with life-altering losses. Talking grief, building community. That's what the podcast is all about. Listen and follow wherever you get your podcasts.