It's 5:20 Somewhere - Barbee Sits Down With Jennifer Magley

This is an I Heart podcast. Guaranteed human. Welcome back to it is 520 somewhere. I am your girl Barbie. And tonight is going to be chaotic. Because guess what? We have been flagged again, guys. So. Introducing to my left. With her big old fat booty. I'm introducing the diddler. How you feeling tonight? Freaky girl. Just peachy. I'm just playing. I know we got trapped in the building. She's in a. No, I do have a. I'm upset because you know what? Whatever. We'll go ahead. No, start it off. Start it off. We're going to get to geeky. I am disturbed because y'all milk cracked. A girl in my spot on the couch. And so we didn't get to talk about the incident, but I feel like this is revenge. I feel like this is revenge. I wish we could pan the camera to his. Oh, is that camera on Mike? Oh, oh, oh, yeah. Period. Yeah, cool. Yeah. So. Bevious. Not very happy. Is this camera on? Oh, beam that camera on our freaky ass producer. Motion. Mal. You got some motion. All right. Motion in the ocean on this cloud. Motion on the. Yeah. What for you? I ring. He said it is a cloud. All right. And so my right, I got the beautiful, the pretty, but strong. Kiki. Hey. Oh my gosh. What they say. So you, you remember you were like, introduce yourself as a drink, right? Somebody said, uh, well, somebody said Kiki's definitely too a double shot of Hennessy and then somebody else said she's a, uh, what's that coffee drink? The coffee martini espresso, martini. That was like, cause she's pretty strong and energetic. I'm just like, that is so funny. Come on. Express. Oh, more. I mean, you, well, what are we talking about drinks? Let's go ahead and cheers it up. Um, yeah, this is going to be a late Mother's Day episode, but we love y'all either way. Um, and so tonight we are drinking. I need y'all to name this. I didn't name it. What are you guys saying? So it has Maxwell Park, Tequila. We have elderflower, LaCour. We have guava nectar and lime juice. Hmm. But so it's given like that floral. It's gotta have like, y'all flowers. Yeah. Mother something in it. To be like, I don't know. Mama Mia or something. Mama Mia. My son, he's saying that he pissed me off so bad. What? Off of Mario. Off of Mario. He's like, mama Mia. But, um, this is the, I like the flowers. It's the bouquet that the mothers want. What a little bit of Maxwell, Park Tequila in there. How y'all like it? It's pretty smooth. Yes. I like it. I like it. It has a cute taste to it. Oh, Trap, you're looking so good. I'm ready to get into fit check before we get started. Crack it all. Look at the thumb holes. Do they all have thumb holes? Yeah, they have thumb holes. We need some geocets, please. And this is so cute, y'all. My daughter got me this for Mother's Day. That's so sweet. I'm like, oh. She knows what you like. She got money like her mama. Okay. Period. Get it, get into it. And I just think it's so perfect that it's cherries. Fire. Where's the, oh, oh, oh, oh, yep, yep, you, I think, yep, period. You just, you, you good. I'm in my goat yard. You goat girl. My niece sent all this geosteup to my house so that her mom couldn't see it. I'm just like, dang, okay, baby. Oh, sweet. Oh, look, I'll let you usher me. Oh, Paul. You don't let me put the cherries in your mouth? I'll let you usher me. That was just a little. That wasn't a pause moment. Oh, no. He couldn't hate me. Okay, I'm just, it's the usher part. Because it was directed to a girl. Okay, okay, clear me up then. Clean me up a little if it's plain a guy and a girl. It's no pause. No, why don't you. Just saying, he'll let me put my cherries in his mouth. Both of them. Both of them. Paul's. Paul's. Come on. The guy said that they did. They hit me with a pause because they said I'm one of the guys. I'm a bro. Girl. Bros before house. Bros before house. Okay. Oh, I love that. That's like one of my favorite colors. You look so sultry. Yes. That's what I was going for. You know, like, because speaking of Mother's Day, you can't even wonder how this is. Speaking of Mother's Day, Happy Mother's Day to all the beautiful women in the world. But Happy Mother's Day. Happy Mother's Day for the like 10th time today. The black woman created the world. We created it all. So Happy Mother's Day to every black woman, whether you have a child or not girl. You are a mother. All that. So that's what I was going for. You know, be he and hate these sultry ass bitches, but listen, I'm going to give it to him. Here he is. I am not my hair. I am not. Okay, whatever. And words on the rocks. I hope I say it right. You got it. Go for it. Do it. Do it. Matrix sense. That is not what we say. Matrix. I think it's mattressence. Mattressence. Mattressence. The physical, emotional, hormonal and identity transition. A woman experiences when becoming a mother like adolescents, but for motherhood. That's real, too. So use it in a sentence. Motherhood isn't just raising a child. It's I can't say the word. Mattressence. Mattressence. A whole, come on, teleprompter. New version of yourself is born. You know, I thought it was really like coming off the. Coming off the dome. Not I could really say the damn word. Words on the rocks is very scripted. This show ain't scripted at all, but words on the rocks is very, very scripted. But sometimes you can't read the script. It sounds like we can't read or pronounce it. Forget our lines. The thing is, I don't know if I blame the Molly. I blame the Molly from college. I have a hole in my brain. So when it comes to certain stuff, baby, it just be. Or me. I mean, I don't. I don't. I don't agree with that. You're so smart. You're pretty witty. You're pretty quick on your feet. I don't think you got no holes in your. No, I got holes in my brains. My brains. I do. You might. You might have. Got a little. You might have one. Little off and words from the block. Who taking it? Um, so where's from block? Okay. As y'all know, none of these grandmas these days want to be called grandma. Also, even back in the day, people got different variations of grandma. You might have caused your granny something else. So where's from the block? What do y'all feel like are some alternatives to the word grandma? There's so many. There's so many. Well, I call my granny. I'm I got her granny. Um, then I had a grandma. I think this country is thing ever is when you say, like, like my grandma is my grandma sissy. Oh, I think it's I think it's so country when people be like, my auntie sharing or, you know, this, this, this and that. Like when you put a name on it, like most people just be like, my auntie, my grandma. We'll be I'll be putting names to it sometimes because when you got multiple aunties, it's like you got to put a name to it. But yeah, my granny, my grandma, but my son has a sweet pea. You know, these young grandmas don't want to be called. Yeah, sweet. Girl, they are fighting them grandma. Elevations with they hold right. Glamour. What else? My Gigi. One of our new new are one of our nieces cause they grandma. Nunu, Nana, my, my kids called our mom. They grimy. They grimy on their daddy's side. Mama poo. That's cute. Because that's her name, but she just put a mama in front of it. All of her grandkids call her. My kids called their dad's mom grandest grandest. Oh, what does that mean? Like like the grandest of all time. Oh, that's so cute. Miramar on the wall. Yeah. The thing is, I've heard y'all say that, but I always thought it was grandest, like G a r I mean, G r a n d i s. I never it never clicked that it was grandest. T. The one of the. I think it's so cute. I'm like, okay, girl, one of the kids moms like they nerd. Got mad at her. Like, who do you think you are calling yourself? Grant having my kids call you grandest. What? I said she needs to get smacked. Bitch, why are you worried about what this old lady got her her grandkids calling her? She's older though. She's not one of the younger. She's older. She's in her six. She's oh, yes. I've had somebody ask me, uh, like how I feel about before I had my daughter, how I feel about her, about the car, her granny mama poo, because his mama in front of it, but I'm her mom. I'm like, who cares? They know they know. All the other other grandkids call her there. She's a fire as greeny too. So my son would prefer that my mom was his mom. Like he cried the other day and was like, she's she's your mom. She's not my mom. I'm like, bro, get the fuck out of my room. Please. That's all I thought about my grannies. You know, my little brother. Like, but that just makes me think about like, yeah. Well, y'all admit your mom X and I'll start first if y'all want me to go here. Mom, it's number one. When you try to be a good mom and either take them somewhere or buy them something to make them happy and to get out of your face. Talk about it. And it turns into a whole term oil. Like I got my son this little, um, remote control car. He kept crashing into the wall. Then he was throwing a tantrum. I'm like, I shouldn't even about the shit. Or he like, or you'll take them somewhere and they're like, oh, my feet hurt. I don't want to walk like, bro, I'm literally taking you to this thing for you to fucking have fun. Please leave me alone. Or how about when you take them somewhere? Y'all spend a whole day somewhere you don't spend a bank. Y'all get in a car and the kids be like, I'm bored. What are we doing? Like, I'm like, bro, we could have set up the house for free. Exactly. They're never satisfied. Complaining that you spent in all your coins. Bro, my kids just always asking for shit constantly. Everything or more and more and more and more today. I'm like, y'all should, um, y'all should not ask me for anything because this mother's day today, y'all should just give me one day of not asking for like something at the store or Roe books or something like that. And then my daughter goes, but you said if we play good today, that you would get us a dumpling. And I'm like, bitch, you don't get no breaks. No breaks. No breaks at all. And now I understand when our moms was younger, like when we were younger and our moms like, I just want peace for Mother's Day. I just want peace for Mother's Day. Oh, honey, I made my daughter help me clean today. Like that's what she got me a gift. But I'm also like, so the other half of my gift is we're going to clean. Yes, which I don't like. I don't like that kids will like see something on the floor, like a piece of trash or something. Walk past it. Walk past it, like pick that shit up. Why are you in a wait on me to do it? Motherhood is ghetto. It's ghetto. It is absolutely ghetto. But happy Mother's Day to everyone. Period. We love those those sweet little people. We love our kids. But guess what happened? chaotic to me this week. What? He wanted to hang with a baby. He want to thank me. You got some some cut. I ain't gonna cut you. Hell no. Oh, I hung out with a man that was 30 years older than me. Whoa, 30. OK, 30. But when I said I want on 15 or 16, that's what I meant. And I found one. How to go. We had a grand old time. Look at milk's face. Yeah. I bet you I did. Watch out. Why in? Yeah. That's the. Yeah, we had a good old time. And he said, I love your show. You and the twins, y'all look so good on that couch. And you are so funny. He said, and I wanted to talk to you about the OGs versus the YNs. I said, talk to me, pop pop. Well, tell me what you know. Good. What you know. So he said, I do. He said, I got five things for you. I said, OK, what is it? He said, first off, the OGs is better than the YNs because we don't live life and we know who we are. Why these young niggas still trying to find they sell. I said, hmm. What do that mean to me? He's getting here. He's getting here. He's getting here. You could still you could find yourself and still be not shit. OK, I'm saying your second thing. He said, and I know exactly what I want. So I'm going to tell you the truth where these young niggas going to lie to you. So, hmm. OK, third one, my favorite one. You don't have to prove to me why you deserve to have money spent on you. Where these YNs, they want to know what you bring to the table. They want you to jump through hoops to get a little cash. He said, he said, no problem. He just want to have fun. His days is limited around this. No, so she said, I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Watch it. A little bit. What was number four? That was three. What was number four? He got what's your five year plan? Don't die. Just playing. That's off a movie. I can't remember what number four was, but the last one he was like, yeah, what did he say number four was? I will agree, though, like. To the extent a little bit, I ain't going live. You ain't coming up off of it. You're not getting nothing spent on you. It's coming up off of what? Some coochies. Some little drop. Oh, sorry. Some coochies. Let me drop. Some limit drop. A neck dinner. A neck dinner is crazy. But how, OK, so how do you get through? You got a court. The home run. Oh, that's what it was. That's what number four was. They know how to treat a woman. Like they were courting back in the day. Like he's pulling out chairs. He's opened up doors. If he's, if there's nowhere to sit, he's going to stand up. Like they know how to treat a woman. They do know that. And then he said, number five, them OGs, they're some freaks. He said, I don't know which y'all didn't, which y'all didn't hurt. But he said, longest day good. And they can, they can, you know, make some freaks. You probably had on tidy wadis. What? No, oh, niggas be wearing a, I'm wearing panties. They probably wear them plaid boxers, though, for sure. Hey, no, my daddy wear them big ass drawers. What drawers you think they wear? CK? Oh, niggas is wearing tidy wadis. My daddy said, I ain't wearing them tight. Well, this is when he at first got out. He was like, I ain't wearing them tight ass briefs, nuts hanging to you, sticking to your legs. So he only wearing them big ass hand drawers. And my daddy was wearing like a two X. Like when he got out, he still thought the big stuff was like, Oh, he was on his own. It took him years to start wearing like straight legs and stuff, but he did it. That's why I'm old man. We having all them babies. That's good for your sperm count. Yeah, because they don't lose straw. Them briefs is bad for sperm count. That older man, he was, he's nice looking. And he was real clean. Cause I'm sure he had on some nice Calvin Klein, nautical briefs. Oh, cool. But he was, he was a really nice old man, but 30 years my senior is crazy. I don't know what to feed him. You'll find something. Feed him some lemons. 30 years y'all, feed him some lemons. So. So lemons. Oh, my friend said, he gonna try to eat your booty. Oh, thank. I don't know what to feel today. He's like, I told you I ate my freak. I'm like, girl, Calvin, please. I don't want nothing to do with. Nothing 30 feet or grand-ball. The older guys, they do are like super courteousness. Yeah, super sweet. They gonna open all the doors. They do open all the doors. They give you a jacket if you call. If you riding with them, they be like, you hungry, you need something. Constantly asking you, do you need something? Yeah, he was like, don't take advantage of me in the world. What you want to listen to? I met somebody like that. They're just so accommodating. Yeah. I met somebody like that, but he our age. He in his 30s. I love that. He's very like. Was he from the South? Yes. Yeah. Southern men. Yeah. That's one thing. Midwest animals. I got some self. I did my, my ancestry. Oh, Lord. What's your ancestry, Melch? You Italian, I know. A little Dominican. African. Oh. You from Africa. I don't know. You from Africa. I'm from Crenshaw, Philadelphia. Oh, mafia. I ain't from Africa. I'm from Crenshaw, mafia. I would like to say that my back is feeling a lot better this week. Okay. I have low-key been on bed rest all week, but I feel a little better. I still kind of feel like, like I don't know how to explain it. I feel like how Adrian Broner looks. That's how I feel. Crunchy? He's stiff. Like, he's just like. He's just tight-tied. Can I want him to get well soon? Type shit, but I don't know. The way his like back touches the back of his head, that's how I feel. Like the way you're doing it is making me think of Shamar. It's close. And we get too far into it. Do do do do do do do do. The real big three will be at 520 day. We will be at 520 day, so make sure you are there. Make sure you are shopping club520.com for all of your gear, concert tickets are on there. The field day is free, so pull up. Mike just dropped on us today that the field day is not kid-friendly. Because Behan has been advertising it as kid-friendly. Like little kid-friendly or like. Kid 21 plus. Chance can come, but it's an open field. What? It's just a real little field. We're gonna have fun a little bit watching the TV. That's true. I mean, I'm not bringing my oldest daughter when it's a girl. She's an adult. It ain't gonna be out on us today. She's an adult. It's gonna be over there making daiquiris. I, I just not on my parents. I can't wait. We're gonna have so much fun. I'll help you. Oh, yay. Yeah. We're gonna turn up. We're going to turn up. I'm gonna be the drunk cheerleader. Give me a whoop, whoop, whoop. You're getting drunk that early? How early is it? 11 a.m. Two. It's at one o'clock. Yeah, we're gonna be going all day, y'all. That's the least I'm gonna Barbie pace yourself. I can have a little drinky drink. We'll be good. I'm not drinking. I ain't fucking with y'all. Man, the last time I got fucked up with y'all was just too much. The last time was the last time, y'all. That last time, no, sir. That night was just... Wait, which night? Girl, one we shall forget. One we shall forget, please. I never want to talk about it again. Never. I don't know. I'm lost. I don't do it again. I'll never. I'll never. I'll never. Bro, that night we was all fucked up. I'm always fucked up. Wait, when she... It was when we got signed. Oh, that night, okay, okay, okay. Cause I was just fucked up with messing with Barbie. Kiki likes to blame people. Out my body, guys. I don't even remember. She called me. I'm like, these drunk ass hoes. What the fuck was I? At your kids game being a good mom. Tropic is such a good sport, though. I will say that she will stay on the phone with you. She will stay on FaceTime with you. And you will go, I will go live. She will try to call my phone so that I don't go live. Kiki will lie 10 times. She will like stay on the phone. You can't go live now. Oh, we didn't even get to talk about that, y'all. So... Where did you call her? The Dittler. Oh, well, we didn't go into detail. So our first, very first episode on YouTube flagged. Now we're flagged on Instagram. And all four of our pages are under restriction. All our personal pages and the 520 Somewhere page. We can't DM. We can't... Go live. We can't do anything for like a few minutes. I can't monetize my page and make money off Reels for 90 days. We can't even like a story. Like they are being real straight. And the thing is, we sorry, damn. We sorry. We, we're gonna... I don't know what to do. So the thing is, because we made that reel about the whole pegging thing. And I said, I went like, you know, two of them. Ouch! Yeah. Yippee-de-doodoo. And basically, I think it sounded a little bit... It sounded like Pumali, all in her champagne. She ain't even know it. I took her home and enjoyed it. She ain't even know it. Yeah. So... But y'all, I was really just joke. That was a joke. I really didn't... A nigga. It was a joke. It was a joke. I mean, I did do that. But like how Barbie was like, he felt you sliding that hand, he did feel it. And I ain't just gonna give it to him. Dry like that, you gotta wet that shit. You gotta bring that shit back first. You gotta get wet first. The little spit start. No, no, that's not what I meant. But anyways, it was a joke. I just said I yonked him just for theatrics. And I didn't. He knew it was coming. And then when he said he didn't like it, it was like some hindsight. We was laughing about it the next day. And he was like, yeah, don't ever do that shit again. And so, it never did. And so, but yeah, I didn't just yonk. I didn't youtch a guy. I think you forgot one more line what Mike told you to say. What? The PR team is working. It's okay. We don't kink shame nobody, right? But we gonna keep it real cute on the internet, okay? I don't got a booty ho kink. You don't got a booty ho kink? No, it was just random. Our last episode was called the booty episode. All right. Look at mouth face. We the booty band. You did, you said it's certified. Oh, no, I don't do that. Certified booty. Certified booty munches. I'm so tired of talking about butt y'all. I do not want to talk about butt anymore. I feel like Fleece Johnson. I like booty. I don't like booties, I'm doing it. Have y'all been coming over New Lingo? All we have is Lemon Drop, Thunder Clap. Biscuit, what can a biscuit be? Vrah. Yeah. That sounds all right. Yeah. What's up? Elville lady? Neck dinner. I don't like neck dinner. I don't like neck dinner. It's very like. I like tornado throat. I like that. What? What? Tornado throat. I don't like neck dinner, but tornado throat. Imagine a tornado. All right, girl. You see you? Okay, Orlando. Orlando Brown. Orlando Brown. Ow, fart. Ow, fart. What you putting down? Yeah. All right. You done bit it. I bit it? No, I did. No teeth now. No teeth, young gummy over here. I got somebody every, bitch y'all, why y'all's getting hit every like. Man. Scraped it or bit it. We trying to clean up the show, Malcolm. I didn't even say the word. He is freaking Malcolm for show. But while we're on the topic. While we're on the topic, I had a little tea swing here. Definitely, y'all, have y'all ever had like, y'all's, what are we calling the, C word? Ms. Pearly. Ms. Pearly. Have y'all ever had Ms. Pearly sleep in between somebody's gap? Does that feel good? It's so painful. All but it sounds sensational. What's that like gap, what's they working with? Not it wasn't that big. I said hell no, I've never had that. Not the whole thing, but just like, you know, just some of your skin down there or whatever, just like sleep through the crack. Like a small gap. No, it wasn't even a crazy gap, no. But I was like, oh, I know part of my anatomy did not just go floss this man's teeth. Like it was so painful. Ooh. Do you have good, good, Thunderthroat experiences? Cause he be having some stories. Okay. Yes, I do. Not that one. So much more than that. Thunderthroat. Yeah, Nick did. She said, I don't like Nick. I don't like Nick, Ben or we need to, something girly, something girly pop forward. We can, we'll fillatio. It'll come to us. I'm gonna look at just say fillatio. Boring. It'll come to us though. Did you tell him stop? No, I just let it slide. You ain't sure. And hope that it didn't happen again. You see, yeah. Yeah. No, no, have you ever had like pain during, what? I don't have anything. I'm glad to have. I'm glad to have a slicker. I just kind of like overlooked it. It didn't happen again. Thank goodness. But I had to punch me in the neck. No, after something traumatic like that, you kind of want him to sue this or like, go ahead and finish. Just get off. No, I didn't say anything. No stories from Kiki. Oh, right. I just hate people that lick hard. I hate that. We're gonna do a Patreon exclusive. We'll give a class on how to lick the Mrs. Pearly. No, I'm just kidding. Focus, focus, focus, focus. Today, guys, guess what we are doing? We're at the studio until 12 a.m. And guess what, Mike didn't tell us about it until yesterday, less than 24 hours. So I'm just- The day before Mother's Day. The day before Mother's Day. And I'm just imagining like, if I had a man at home and I would have to be like, you know, Tay-Mar song that do-do-do. Oh, that's so not the beat. You know the Tay-Mar song I talk about, just be a man. But you know how it come on to he on the phone? He like- That's not Tay-Mar. But it's Tay-Mar. That's her sister, Tony Braxton. Oh, it's Tony Braxton, Tony Braxton. Tony Braxton. But I'm just imagining, having to be like, yeah, babe, don't wait up. I'm gonna be at the studio. That's so true. Your voice is so nice, though. Yeah, I know, I know. I know you really want to check out that spot, but- He gonna go too. He gonna hear, I understand. Can you make my phone call for me? No, he's not. He's gonna be like- Look at her voice, it's like- I'm just trying to make a way for both of us, you know? So we can take that trip you wanted to take. Oh, hell no. Yeah, so- We're all gonna be standing like Alicia Keys. You know the one with the brand. You know the brand, I'm just to Michael. We can meet her right here across the park, right here. She was standing so like, niggerish. No, niggerish is crazy. But yeah, I'm gonna be like, I left that 30 on the dresser for you. Go get your haircut. I see you in the morning. Well, I thought you were talking about- Haircuts, 30 dollars. I thought you left a little bird 30 for you. Bird 30. But yeah, so I don't know. This is what we're going through here. We can't sustain a relationship at this point. Cause ain't nobody going for that. Are you going for that milk? At the studio till 12. 12 ain't that bad. I mean, 12 is crazy. It's so job, you're working. He'd be up here more than us. He'd just go out with the- Would you know how men be jealous of you? I was like, love in the studio. How did you run on that couch? Play the same song. I used to add you was something to throw away. Literally do it, do it. You missed it. You are just not athletic at all. No, the count is 30. You got 30. No, you told the story about how- He didn't crack the woman. Hit him. I don't want to hit nothing computer. That's why I didn't throw it in. She didn't really do it. What was that? That was worse than a- You made me think about the computer. Okay, so how was the room? Oh. Y'all want me to try? No. No, no. We don't want to hit the equipment. You'll make it. No, I'll make it. I just don't want to hurt any expensive things. Yeah, so that's all I was thinking about. I'm already in a hole, y'all. Can't break name. We in a hole. That's why we're here at the 12 o'clock with no talk back. Oh, it's Mother Day. Who cares? Who cares? Who put me on the plate? I mean, Mike gives zero fucks. I'm gonna throw five toos. No. No, no. Who's doing that? Fuck, they can delete that. Please. I'm glad they can't hear you. Oh, and when y'all pick up y'all kids from our baby daddy house, do y'all take, are you opposed to having a man in the car with you? Yes. Ooh, you trying to get us? No, I'm just asking like- If it's my boyfriend and like established boyfriend, it shouldn't be a problem. I don't see that happening though. Like, if that would be- When they pick up your kid from your house, do, are they allowed to have a girl in the car? The thing is, not from my house. I don't want nobody to know where I live. That would be excessive. But like, if you were meeting up somewhere and the girl was in the car, because I've been in the car with someone picking up their kids, so. Yeah, meet up at school. I feel like my baby dad had his girl in the car when he, and I feel like he should have asked me before he pulled up where- At your house? Yes, at my house. That's crazy. And you know how you are about your house. I'm so extra about my house. I love that though. Yes, I'm overly extra. And I just feel like you could ask, like I've been with a guy for years, and will literally, I've dropped a guy off because we were together. I've dropped him off like at his place, went to go pick up my kids. And then went back and got my nigga, just because I feel like it's disrespectful to- Yeah, you know, you're somebody's location, especially a nigga. Especially a daddy house, with a nigga in the car. At his house, no, yeah. And I'm like, daddy, better not do that to me. Don't pull up with no bitch in the car, but also like. Cause there's no- We not doing that. He gonna love me until the day he die. He don't, he know not to do no shit like that. Oh, mine's ate me, but we can move on. How long y'all waiting to introduce a man to y'all baby daddy? No, I don't have to introduce shit. That never needs to take place. For what? I know. You don't like daddy nigga? Yeah, no. You say daddy. Yeah. Your kids gonna be right to do this. So? They gonna beat the baby daddy and shit and no- And he be having bitches around. I mean, you know my kids, and I don't know them and I don't need to know them more. All I have to trust is your judgment as a co-parent. Thanks. I don't gotta meet her for real. Ideally though, like if I do take somebody serious, I would like to do that. But in the way we set up. Men are, this is the thing. Men are very immature. They're not as mature as us like, us we can meet the other girl, we can talk to them, do pickups. I can exchange my mind with the girlfriend. You don't even gotta be there. You can come to the parties. When you got a boyfriend, you and Daeneryn can't even invite your baby dad to the party or vice versa. Like men are so territorial and immature. Like can y'all get with the program? Like how we be doing? And I think it's some men this. I don't think that all men are like that because I see it a lot like, where the men are actually being the more mature one with some females. Cause like some females be catty with it. Like trying to like push the boyfriend to like make the baby daddy jealous and stuff like that. So I see a lot of men that put on, you know, but it's a sticky subject. But like Trap said, just, I trust your judgment to not have anybody that to do anything inappropriate or harmful to my child. So. And it's just like, bro, who are you? Like the world don't revolve around you. I'm not reaching out to your girlfriend. Like y'all do y'all and we gonna do us. Like I might collab with like my man's baby mama if that's what he wants us to do. But that's me catering to him. I'm not catering to my baby daddy. Like who are you? What about? We lost. I'm not reaching out to your girlfriend. Who is she? Who are you? We're not prioritized on baby daddy. Is she water under the bridge? Oh yeah. That's just me. My son made me feel so special today y'all. And the thing is like he really stood on business about me. Like he made sure to get me a gift and he picked it out. And he was just, he was not playing like come pick me up. I gotta get my mommy a gift. And I was just like, he's so young and just so thoughtful like he is the sweetest. That boy mama. Did y'all feel really special today? For sure. He was special. He tried to help me cook breakfast though. I was like please get the fuck out the way. Oh my gosh. I swear to be like that when your kids wanna help cook you be like I'm trying to be so patient. He be like oh my god. Literally. Like patience is thin. But like speaking of cooking, what is something nasty that your mom made when you were a kid? Everything. She cannot cook. She can't cook? No. Well she's better now than when we were kids. But y'all know how to cook. How y'all know how to cook? Y'all me mom? My daddy can't cook. My mom definitely could cook. What did y'all call your mom? She knew how to get around the kitchen. Me mom. Me mom. Cute. Yeah me mom. Y'all daddy side. Okay. Yep. Yeah. But she would make like some more food. She could do that or whatever. But she can make some rice. So do y'all make mini rice or y'all make a real rice? Real rice. Real rice. Am I less of a woman cause I make mini rice? No. I feel like. We just, like we grew up like that. Like we make rice with every meal. I love mini rice. I mean we love rice. I love mini rice, spaghetti, none we making the rice. Mini rice in the red box? Like the little, Or in the plastic bag. I use both. I use the plastic and I use the regular one. Cause I'm like. Is it good? Yeah. That mini rice in that red box is good. Yeah. And it says mini rice, but to me I feel like it cooked the same. It's really good though. Especially with sugar and butter. When you cook real rice, you have to like really rinsing and all that stuff. And how long does it take? Like why do people act like cooking rice is always. I don't know. It do taste like second nature to me. I can whip up some rice like it is nothing. It's nothing. Yeah. What's y'all go to to cook for a man? I doubt we gotta sneak in some mac and cheese somewhere. Okay. If he's not like lactose intolerance. I ain't got time for this. He got it with the mac. Disabilities when it comes to eating niggas. Just. Hey, but it's so many of them. It's so many who's like I don't eat mac. I don't eat pasta. I don't eat this. I don't eat cheese. I don't eat chicken, ranch, blah, blah, blah. I don't have a man tell me he don't eat seafood. That was just so depressing. I hate a nigga that's allergic to seafood. Yes, he was allergic. I'm like, oh, this is not gonna work out. You still dabble? I'm not talking about fucking Zyrtec. Yeah, I still eat it. Cause they said the go-to to keep a man is a pot roast. Oh, is it? They act like that's like such a grown thing to make. I mean, you literally just throw all that shit in here. It's dimmer like the step child to a crab mold. Are you pushing this up? Are y'all Pacific? No. Pacific Islander Simone is Pacific Islander. Okay, it's y'all month. Okay, look at us. Pacific Islander Heritage Month. Why are you grouping us with Asians? I mean, I didn't do that. You know they be doing that on a little I step test. You Asian and Pacific Islander. What y'all call y'all Simone? Grandma. Grandma. Her name is Colleen. What's the word? What's the word for grandma in y'all language? I only know. Tina. Tina. That's cute. You basically call them mom. Tina, that's mom. That's cute. Come on. How y'all supposed to be? Y'all don't even know. They do know. Listen. Y'all just ain't know. It's made up as holiday. Month. Oh, I take Black History. It's also Mother's Day and it's also Nurses Week. And cl- Oh, that's what was on my card. Happy Nurses Week to Trump. Woo! Thanks y'all. And this is what I wanted to say because I was so nervous because they got this new virus. Put us first, Queen. Girl. Put us, Mike will up the score. Put us first. Don't leave us. Don't go to LA for no shortage. We need you here, Michael. Because we can't let people end up there catching some shit. Y'all don't understand when COVID was going on. They was paying 10 Gs a week. I know they was. I know they was. We just about to be sprayed out on the couch with milk. Don't make you. Milk will come from buying the camera. 10 Gs a week, y'all. The pot ain't fucking with it. She said. I told you so. See ya. But wanna be ya. And she locked in already. What's it called? What's the virus? Hantavirus. What? All right. You gotta love all the Hantavirus. We not talking. We're not like. That shit trickles down slow. Like in the hospitals, we're not talking about that shit. Y'all it's all over the media. Cause why would they let them people off the boat? I'll be at work. I don't got time to look at social media. Or any media. I seen that. Y'all Trap gon' leave us. We gon' be sure. I ain't gon' lie. We better just replace her with one of y'all other sisters. They might not know. They might not know. I didn't believe y'all don't know the name. That's some scary shit right here. I'm scared of the muffler. It's a horrible, potentially deadly, rotten, born disease. I bought a new hand sanitizer and everything. Cause. Meanwhile, Trap don't even know the name of it. We need you. She gon' be on the first thing. We ain't seen it and we ain't, I mean, it's just, it just comes up in conversation like gossip. Just like how we would talk about it. Until we see it or any. Yeah, so we have another Samoan sister on the couch. We just gon' keep calling her Trap while she gone to California to fight the virus. So what's your meal? So I'm impressed the guy. Da da da, I'm fine. It's always like steak. I'm a go steak crazy. It used to be salmon for me. Oh my gosh, they gon' talk about me. Yeah, they gon' talk for it. But I don't even eat salmon anymore. So now it's just like whatever, whatever is clever. I seen the girl on there making a tomahawk for me. And I said you. And if I make a damn tomahawk, I wanna ring by the door. You better hop too. Listen. Cause what? Oh my gosh. Not for real. If I make a tomahawk, nigga, wife me, cuff me. Immediately. Speaking of wife me, have y'all ever dealt with a mom in law? I mean none of us are married, but you know what I mean. A mom in law? A mom in law, a mom, a momzilla. A mom stirring law. Yeah, a mom stirring law. Somewhat. I've dealt with like an extreme mama's boy, but the mom was real cool though. Yeah. Until she wasn't. But it was just like, girl, fuck you. Was she not during y'all's relationship? Or after the sex? No, she was super cool. It was just a little, little, little. The thing is, see they gon' end up writing for, they could like you, they could love you, whatever, but they gon' end up writing for their son. Stuff hit the fan and it's just like. Of course. You know your son and shit. And you know that. She's not a girl, girl. Right. Yeah. So, but you said you dealt with that before? Not like that, but I've dealt with like, sisters not liking me, moms not really liking me. Like your sister. Like, stuff like that. I ain't gon' lie, I had my mom slap one of my shoes. What? Oh, okay. What was the reason? The girl hit you? Yeah, she pulled up. I had cheated on her or whatever. She pulled up on me and we was talking outside, but she was like, I'm about to go tell your mama this, and that, and do do do. Like, yeah, you're tweaking. You don't know my mama. Niggas hate when, niggas hate when you call their mom. She walk in the crib, she yelled my mama name. She like, do do do. I'm like, my mama came off that corner. She definitely jumped from the top flight all the way to the bottom. It was arguing, do do do. She like, you got me fuzz. She like, you made a bitch made ass, sir, and do do do. No, she didn't. Yeah, she deserved to get slapped. I was about to walk up to her. I'm like, yo, you bugging. My mama held me back and she smacked her ass. And get out of my house. That well deserved because girl, girlie pop. You said if you got a problem, call your mama and tell her, bring her ass up, pierce her, get her ass beat to. Failure, failure, period. I say, yeah, this is my nigga. And you call CPS owner. Yeah, fuck nigga. It'd be like that. No. That was not right. What's some mom sayings that went platinum in your house, Mel? What's your mama used to say to y'all? What she used to say? Like I brought you in this world, but I take you out. What she used to say to you? Take you out. My mama, she just talk shit. She wouldn't say no saying. No saying. Just talking shit all day. Cause y'all ain't clean up. Y'all ain't take the meat out. What y'all was doing? We ain't clean up, take the trash out. The fuck, y'all want to be homeless? Okay, y'all want to live like some homeless people? That's all she'll do is talk shit. What about for y'all? My mama used to say, never bite the hand that feeds you. Never bite the hands that feed you. You have to feed us. She also used to say, do y'all know what a fob is? Like a key fob? No, like a fob. Do you know what it stands for? Nobody? It means fresh off the boat. So like if you get dressed or whatever, or she feel like you look crazy or you don't look presentable, she's gonna be like, you look like a fob. She used to say that all the time. Maybe him be saying they be at Burlington. She used to say that. And she used to say like, whenever I had like an issue, or you come to her like, and you come like, vent to her, complain to her about something. She always used to be like, baby, they just jealous. They just jealous. That's my mama favorite. Everybody was jealous of me. I'm gonna believe that to the day I die. They just jealous. Period, that's what my daughter say that. I am, yes. My daughter gonna always tell me, everybody jealous of me. My daughter gonna, mama's thing was. Every time. I'm not one of your little friends. It is to this day. She is my little friend. Tight. She is my little friend. My mama stays saying, respect thy mother and thy father, and thou shall have everlasting life. Okay, Bible verse. Literally. But she just use that shit against us all the time. Like bro, quit weaponizing the Bible, bro. And she was good for it. Like if you ask her for something, or if you ask her to go somewhere, and then she don't really give you no answer for real. And then like fast for like a day or something, and you do some shit that piss her off, she gonna be like, and I was gonna let you go. But now, I was. That would have pissed me off. You wasn't gonna let me go anyway. You was waiting on me. Come on Derek, what them older mommas used to say? Oh, okay. He was having his way. He ain't hear no. My mama send me off to boot camp. Because you was bad. You were bad. I'm a little buzzed. I've been drinking too much today. My papa, he had like a strict program. I have, it's like middle school on school at 830. The nigga will wake me up at six in the morning, do homework before school. What? Swear to God, I'm doing homework for two hours. Why you didn't do it last night? I did. I was studying, doing homework. You studied a period. No game, no phone. Nigga had an alarm clock right by my bed. He had come in. He was so petty. He had drive me to school. You know, I'm a kid, so I'm tired. Sleep on the window. This nigga's rose down the window. The whole car ride. Oh my goodness. Oh, he's king petty. Oh, that's a good one. I'm gonna use that. That's not cool. I'm gonna use that for show. I just thought about a random snack my mama used to give us. Did y'all used to eat the little chicken and biscuits with the little spray cheese? Yeah. What other kind of like ghetto snacks did y'all use? Is that ghetto? I don't even think that's ghetto. Vienna sausage juice? Oh, see, I've never eaten sausage. Walnut touch now, but yes. With some hot sauce. Also, our granny used to give us all the time for lunch. She used to always give us crackers with bologna and cheese. And I ain't gonna lie, it tasted like we're mad. It was good. I studied to this day if I didn't know what was in bologna. Do y'all eat tuna? Yeah. Sardines. We know you eat sardines. Oh, right, I know that. Canned oysters. Hawkeye cheese. I've heard of it. Is that the ball? No. Oh, I've seen it. Cause it used to be a deli done in street from us. I don't feel like I've had that though. What it tastes like. It looks spam a little bit. It do look spammy. Y'all eat spam? No, no. I'm gonna say y'all was in the trenches for real. Spam and eggs. What about oatmeal cookies? Yeah. Did y'all used to have to let them get stale? I never ate that. Do you eat this? Oh, geez. I'm never gonna send up to the store for that. Oh, nothing. Hawkeye cheese and crab. You from Gary, ain't you? Yeah. Oh, okay, yeah, it's giving that. It is definitely giving that. What about, what's a weird food combination that y'all like? I don't think I got nothing. Y'all don't got nothing? Y'all know what I like? I like Lay's potato chips with hot sauce and shirty cheese on them. Lay's potato chips and hot sauce is absolutely fire. Did y'all do chips and dip? Put the shirty cheese on that. Like the French onion? Yeah. Dean's French onion, that's what it was. That was fire. Now, are you young enough? Did y'all do the pickles in the Kool-Aid? Yeah, we did. Y'all did that? Did y'all do it? I don't like that shit. Little sweet, little sour. I don't like sweet and savory. I don't like that. I had a little pepper with the hot Cheeto, like some cream cheese. Ooh, I want to try that. They said with cucumbers or something. We're gonna try that next episode. Oh, did y'all put, okay, Derek, you put salt on your watermelon? Tahin. You do that? Tahin. Salt on watermelon is crazy. Oh my gosh, that's old school for real. My granny used to do that. You got any weird combinations, milk? Mike. Pretty clean cut, just hot dogs. He just shrinks his tummy. I'm tired of looking at him with this thing in his mouth. Yeah, the wood. The wood. The wood, stick it out, it's about pause. Hot Tabasco and Oreos? Disgusting. That's a bit much. That's absolutely disgusting. Oh, Wildest Mother's Day, y'all, okay. Y'all know a saying that I fucking hate that's really normalized? Fuck them kids. Oh, I love it. I hate it. Fuck them kids, tribe what? I hate it. I can't stand that. I think that we just take it to literal. Like, fuck them kids. It sounds so nasty. I just, no, not even nasty. It's just like, I just don't like it. It just rubs me the wrong way. Of course I'm socialized to be like, oh, okay, cool, whatever. They're just joking, but I never use that phrase. I just don't like it. Oh, I use it all the time. I get it, but it's just like kids are annoying. I feel like moms need to say, fuck them kids sometimes. I just don't think we should ever say that. I don't think we should have normalized. I know it's a joke, but I just don't like it. I feel you. Me personally. And you know, I'm very much like attached to my long time and my baby daddy doing his thing or whatever, but it's not my cup to tea, that saying. This is my personal preference. I just, I don't use the phrase. I've always hated it. I don't like the way it rolls off the tongue. Oh, I'd be loving it. Fuck them kids. Fuck them. Get them out of my house. I need a break. I need to breathe. I need some space. Bro, I didn't have somebody say, and if you want to say fuck them kids, refer to your kids. Say your kids, yeah. Go for it. But when I'm like, oh no, I can't, because I got to work or I got to take the kids to day game and I'm gonna be like, fuck them kids, bitch. Who kids? What, who kids? No, literally, y'all. I was out of town one time and I was with, I ended up linking with this guy from the city or whatever and we was like out drunk. Like anyway, the next day I missed my damn flight, messing with him and I'm just like, but I didn't know I was late. And I'm on my way to the airport and I'm like, I'm gonna be so depressed if I miss this flight. I'm like, I'm ready to get home. I'm ready to get home to my kids. He gonna say something. Fuck them kids. Y'all, when I say, I did not talk to him for months. Oh, I wouldn't have either. Because what the hell? Because I know that it's a normal saying, but it's like literally like, no. Don't you see I'm over here depressed. Even, it's to see them. And it's already like offensive when men don't understand like your attachment to your kids. And he's a great dad too. He's a great dad. But I under, it's a very normalized phrase. But I'm just like, especially in that moment, I'm like. Don't wanna hear that. I mean, even minus the phrase, when they're not considerate of your time with your kids, like just like for instance, oh, what, you off work on Friday? Yeah, I am off work, but that doesn't mean I'm available. I'm still a mom. Like, yo time, don't come before my kids time. No, period. He like, fuck them kids. You can stay another day. Nigga, no, the fuck I can't want the next thing smoking. What is you talking about? Always putting them kids first. When y'all first became moms though, any unwarranted advice that used to get on y'all nerves? Probably, that was such a long time ago. Yeah, cause I don't know if y'all have seen like on social media, but Scotty, Afabattis, y'all know she just had her first kid with Lemmy, the owner of Zeus and everything. And she is getting so tired of people telling her, like how to take care of her kid, like what to do. But I feel like people have that, especially like people have that so bad. I was trying to coach you and tell you what to do when you're a new mom. And it's just like, chill, bro, I got this. Yeah. And it's so instinctual. Like, you know what the hell to do. Yeah. If animals know what to do, we're whole humans. Why would we not know what to do? But I will say they did have that baby in the airport. No blanket, no nothing, just like raw dog in the airport. Nothing bothers a black mom more than would a baby not having a blanket on her hat in some socks. What? Like y'all got the baby raw dog in the, but I understand though as well. They do? Okay. Her and Lemmy. Oh. Well, fuck them kids. Ha ha ha. Five, 20 day, make sure y'all got your tickets, y'all in the building, field day, concert, after party at Georgia Street. Make sure y'all got your gear shop club 520.com and to end us out. Kiki, you got anything to say? Anything you want to tell the people? Happy, not happy birthday, happy retirement. PJ. Who's PJ? Washington? Today only. You don't know? Today only, the news? Nothing. Tell me more. Who is that? You know who PJ was? You know who PJ is? PJ Tucker. He was on the show before. He's retired, ain't he? He was saying he was finna retire? Okay. Y'all got me feeling like, I got my news mixed up. I'm trying to. So PJ Tucker, who used to play for him? A lot of people. Oh, okay. And he's retired. He's a black man? Yes, he's like a friend. He liked a friend. All right, shout out to PJ Tucker and enjoy your retirement, love. Oh, I know, I've seen him before. Okay, Bucks. Houston, he played all the teams, Jeff played all. Let's see, go back, let's see where else he'd be. She's saying Harlem Girl Chop, The Rocket. Oh, that's Houston, I mean, that's Atlanta. Oh yeah. Just stop. We don't teach her, y'all. No, I know, because when I seen the Bucks, my mind went to Atlanta and then I seen, no, Houston Rockets. That's the basketball scene? Yes. Okay, so it was just two different jerseys. That's the episode, Jeff had them built by the war, ain't it? Los Angeles, the Clever. The Clever? Yikes. He deserves to retire. Okay. Okay. He got area clothes. Shout out to my god, PJ. Make sure he had clothes on 20 days to see retired. Phoenix. Who we out of here? Okay, Dan. Okay, bye. Bye. This is an I Heart podcast. Guaranteed human.