Pregnancy, C-Section Guilt & Morning Sickness

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Everyone in my life has known for months, like in my real life. The C-section, I was like mad that I had to do that after like going through labor for so many hours. I used to look at my scar, look in the mirror and like, ugh, my body betrayed me. I've done this four times and every time I'm like, I'm gonna really eat healthy and try to do this. Get broccoli. Literally, that's the only time I threw up. Like my body rejected it. We don't need that. You're like, you do need that! Welcome back to Always Here. We're your host, Abby Howard. And Abby Howard. How are you feeling? So much better. We had, we got hit with a nasty stomach bug. I'm assuming it was norovirus. Just with how it was in and out and so punchy. I also didn't look like this actually day two after norm. Really? You didn't look like this? So maybe it was just like a 25 hour thing. I was really dumb, I thought I needed fluids. Okay, then maybe it wasn't that. But it could have been. I mean, okay, so CJ got down with it on Saturday and he got sick a lot, like 10 times. But by the end of the night, he was already on the up and up and we didn't get it for a couple days. We felt fine, felt totally normal. Wednesday, well, I guess Tuesday night late at like midnight. I go, oh my tummy don't feel good. It was midnight. I tell you, don't feel good. Why were you awake at midnight? I was reading our book. I finished it. Okay, good. I told you I would. You did it. I did it. Oh, and that's probably what did you in. Yeah, it was all those words. It just made my stomach go jumble. Wait a minute. Midnight. On Tuesday night, I go, oh my stomach feels really weird. And then I went to bed woke up at 4am and I said, I will puke at some point and I had those frownies on my face. I said, I have to get up before I take these frownies off or if I throw up with these on my forehead will get ripped off my face. So I'm that tight. They're that tight. So I got up at 430 in the morning. It was taking you away Caleb up because you knew you were to throw up. No, I didn't. Oh, no, I can't. I didn't. I didn't know. I'm not scared of it like you are. I'm terrified. I mean, when he got up for work and I think he got up at 5am and I went back to bed and I said, Hey, I think I have the stomach flu. And I guess he went to work and then came back and I was still asleep and he said, Yeah, I have it too. And all day we were down. Oh my gosh. Yeah, Caleb had it way worse than I did, but it was just one of those things where you're on your back on the couch. Just you guys were the only grownups. I got it. I know. It was all around the kids that are Jim. And none of the. No one got it. Yeah. And I feel like CJ got it the worst of all the kids too. Yeah. So I don't know what that says about our family. Your immune systems are down from lockdown. They're down from lockdown. I actually was thinking about that voice. I know you finally got the courage to go back to the gym. Literally the worst of them all. The stomach bug. I actually think I have a hot take. I think this, I think I would rather a stomach bug than the like, than a nose snot flu situation. I mean, it's probably the same. You guys are both in the two percent. I know, but it's because it's one miserable day and like one day of a lot of cleanup. But then after that it's gone. Whereas the sinus respiratory infections, they last for like 10 days. Yeah, but you can tell yourself you're better if you have a sinus respiratory infection. You cannot tell yourself you're better if you're vomiting. I know. I think it's like a clear down and then a clear clear. You know what I mean? I mean, I get your saying, but I do not agree. I literally, Griffin threw up one time. Augie never got sick and Griffin threw up one time and Matt was gone and I literally was like, Who do I alert? I cannot. I know. I was so scared. It's like really smelled so bad. Well, I was also being a really selfish mom. I was like, if I touch this, I know I could get it and that will be the end of everything. I know it's so bad. It was bad. But I don't understand how Griffin threw up one time to get there. I know I'm, I'm like, maybe they got something different. But I don't know what different they would have gotten. You know, I don't know. Griffin also had a really big day, the day that happened, but it's still unusual for him to throw up. He was excited. I mean, we didn't, we skipped naps. We went hard all day and yeah. It's a recipe for a moment. Yeah. That just didn't seem like him. So I think he definitely had a touch of it. I don't know if that's even possible, but I mean, I think he had to have, I don't know. It's, I was thinking about that voicemail from last week when she asked about having anxiety with the more kid she has with sickness. And I think I've come to a conclusion of why I had that. And I think because my, my capacity was so maxed out these last six months, like I just felt like I couldn't handle another thing. And so I felt like if my kids got sick, it would just tip me over the edge of my sanity. And so I waited to bring them back to childcare until I knew I could handle them getting sick. Hey, that's smart. So two weeks in, we get the stomach bug and I was like, Hey, we're ready for this. I wasn't stressed out. Good thing babies don't usually get that. I don't think they even, yeah. Yeah. I'll report back next week if she does, but I, yeah, I was kind of thinking about that. I think that'd be really weird for a six month old to get. It came really throw up. I don't think. Yeah. The spit up. Yeah. I was thinking about that the other day. I'm like, would I know the difference between it braille stirring up versus if it's. Maybe that's a kid. Maybe it would just be constant. I don't know. I've never experienced that with like an under one. That'd be really scary too with like the hydration and stuff. Right. Yeah. I'm so sorry. Yeah, but we made it through. You made it through. Sorry. That's why we're here. We are here to share the hope and the hard stomach virus. We all had it. We had actually we were talking really, I have very distinct memories of the stomach virus growing up. And one of them I was telling Matt was, which was really ironic given everything. I was like, Matt, though my most distinct memory, I literally remember walking in my parents room. I was one of those kids that never knew when I was going to vomit. I was like, I don't feel and then puke in their door with like, it was, I honestly am like as a parent, I think that'd be so funny. I still get that way as an adult. I don't know when it's coming because I'm just like, oh, you're anxious. So anxious. But I vomited in my parents doorway and I remember what it was, but we'll ask parents details. And I, my brother, Bruce and my dad stayed home with me that day because both my parents worked full time growing up and my dad stayed home with me and me and him. Maybe he had it too. We watched life size two times. I watched the whole movie with Tyra Banks and Lindsay Lohan. And then I was like, let's watch it again. And he's like, you want to watch it again? I was like, yes. Yes. He sat and watched this was before cell phones guys. It's not like he was just like entertaining himself on the side. Like he fully watched life size. Oh, that's so sweet. Four hours of Tyra Banks and Lindsay Lohan for my dad. Shout out. Shout out. I remember that. That's really sweet. It was. Someone said we should do a things our dad taught us episode. Oh gosh. Maybe on Father's Day we'll do a things our dad taught us. I can't share what my dad has taught me actually. I'm really going to have to filter that advice. I'm really going to have to filter that advice out. I actually think I'm probably a little bit more like my dad than my mom, which people would probably be surprised by. I used to think it was more like my dad. I think now I am like a really even mix. Honestly, I feel like I see a lot of things my mom, but I'm like, and I see a lot of things my dad. Whereas before I used to only really, really, really to my dad on stuff. Yeah. You definitely lean more towards your dad, I would say. I don't know because my dad feels more like sensitive. Well, no, I'm probably more like my dad, like more introverted. I don't think you're sensitive. No, I'm not. My mom's not sensitive. Okay. Yeah. So I get that from my mom. I don't know. I'm still flushing through it. I'm still flushing through. Anyway, so many good men. I think you're way more like your dad. Yeah, which is surprising because my dad also doesn't talk in public settings. And I can't. I saw that video by Alana Marr, you know, I think she's hilarious. She said, I, this was recommended to me. So I think it was like, you know that this relates to you. It was like, shout out to all my extroverts. And she's like, I cannot contain myself. She's like explaining all the circumstances and what she's like, I don't want to talk to people. And then she's like in an elevator and she's like, I got to talk about the weather and what you're doing that day. And it's like, I don't know if I'm necessarily like that in that way, but I definitely like get energized from being around people. And then like when I come home from something, I'm like, wow, I got to like, Settle down, settle down. And then Matt's like already cashed out. Yeah. So I'm like, man, interesting. Totally. This week's episode, we're actually going to be talking about our February. March. Book club, book atmosphere. We're saving that for the end for those of you that didn't read the book. Then you can just step out a little early or you can listen to it and just know that there's going to be spoilers. But for those of you that participated in the book club, look forward to that at the, at the end of this episode. Yes. Crazy weekend. We had a party over here. CJ got sick. There's a lot going on TV. Our in-laws were in town. Our in-laws were in town. Yeah. We watched a ton of TV. You did. That's a lot of TV. That's the time. A lot of Super Lies and Mormon wives. A lot of Disney movies. Well, you know, why does that feel healthier than scrolling on your phone? It does. It does. I was like, keep the screen time to a minimum glued to the TV. Watch the TV. Like that's actually sad. Like that was like Brain Rot when we were growing up and now Brain Rot has gotten so crazy. Worse. Well, the TV is on 24 seven now with March Madness starting in our household. So, oh yeah. You didn't make a bracket. Started at 9am this morning. Oh, that's too late to make a bracket. Yes. Dang it. Missed it. Blake sent it to our family group chat and I didn't do one. It was for his work. Oh, sorry. I had no odds and it was your luck. I don't know anything else. I need to see you. I don't study up my bracket. But yeah. I like the name of that school. We're not really a TV family. Like we don't really, I think it's because Matt gets the ADHD. If the TV were on, he would have to be cashed out from everything else and watching it. So yeah. I grew up in a TV family. Caleb changed that in me because he's like, hey, during the day we should be productive. And so I had to learn to turn the TV off, which I used to just love like the background noise of it. But now I do find it distracting. So we never have it on during the day. Damn Matt changed that in me too. But after dinner time, we always have a show. Oh yeah. Yeah. That's fun. Well, it's a little sad that the secret lives of Mormon rice seems healthier than scrolling on your phone. I didn't watch it. This season has been crazy and the news just broke as we're recording this that the bachelorette has been canceled. Man, they took a, they took a risk. They did. They took a risk. And it didn't work out. I know. How expensive the dick that is for, oh my gosh. All the time saw every single Sunday they had booked on the TV network like when are they like, what are they going to fill it with? What are they going to fill that time with? I mean, there's so much. Can you think about all those men that went into time off work and now they're not going to get their five minutes of fame. Exactly. I mean, all the production, everything. I mean, I mean, can you look that up? I bet you can see how much it costs to produce a season. I'd be so curious. Producing a season of the bachelor costs $7 million. Honestly, I thought it'd be more. Me too, actually. Yeah, they're going to be these kids. So this says that there's like travel and dates staffing over 200 producers. The lead salary, which can range from a hundred thousand to 250,000. She's getting paid more than that for that. Contestant costs. People overestimate that stuff. Really? I'm sure. They're not paid, but they must prepare their own wardrobe and stuff to appear. And then the rings are gifted, but preface. I do not agree with anything she's done. I did actually makes me sick when I watched the video. I want to see the season. I know. I do. I kind of want to watch the season too. It's kind of interesting how you're like, no, I just want to see what happens. It was a stretch to be getting. I know. It was going to be, it's going to be crazy. And I want to, I know it would have been interesting to watch. I understand why they canceled it. And I think that was probably a good call. But yeah, I just felt bad for everyone involved. It's just hard, really hard situation. I just got to pipe in for those of you that also dislike reality TV. And I just can't find it fun. Even all this like conversation, it just really actually stresses me out. Really? So bad. Well, okay. I think the real housewives does stress me out, but a bachelor doesn't feel stressful because it's just so light. Oh, I think the secret lives of Mormon wife stresses me out even more than a house. Really? It feels a little too close to home. I was going to say it is kind of personal with them being creators and like the whole, it's all about creator events and brand deals and that makes me nauseous. Can I say, I broke the news to, I feel like our whole friend group that canceled. That tech chain I had to mute. I was like, ah! Here's the thing. Guess who broke the news to me? You're Blake. Blake. That's, I love the way husbands get into the, He would never admit it, but he does watch it. I mean, your dad watches it with your mom. Oh my gosh. Sweet. What is up with that? Sweet. They just love TV. They just love TV, man. It is something, I don't know why the housewives feels different than secret lives because I think, well, they're older. Well, I think with housewives, it's been on for so long that you kind of pick up the patterns like, oh, they're going to this dinner just so they can have a fight or they're going to this event just so they can have a fight. That's, I feel like, that's, no, but I feel like the secret lives of Mormon wives maybe feels different because all that drama continues off camera and you see it on their videos and stuff. I'm like, oh, this is real. Yeah. More so to me than like the. That's another thing. I don't believe it. I don't believe any. I have so much distrust with like media in general. I'm like, is that, I don't, I've also never seen it. Is it mostly them fighting? No. No. Parts of it. Parts of it. I think the reason it does feel real is because they're taking the stuff that's happening in the show and posting it on their Instagram story, like in real time, or I was just watching season three. I realized I forgot to watch it and she, to me, was like, I'm going to go live right now and explode, expose everything that's happening. And they're like, she can't do that. That's against her NDA. And they're like chasing her down so she doesn't go live on Instagram. They break the fourth wall a lot. Yeah. They do on the series of Mormon wives. Like they're like, for doing your. I like that though. I do like that. Like Whitney being like, this is business for me. Like we're not friends. And she's like, I'm here to do a brand deal with mom talk. Yes. It's so, it's just so interesting. Like I don't, I'm also a creator. That doesn't, that I don't relate to any part of that. I don't like drama. I really did 0% of that. I have a really hard time. Sometimes I think about that. I'm like, if I were in their shoes, well, I would never get casted for a show like that. I guess we're the least drama like petty people. I'm like, I'll just forgive. I'll just forgive and forgive. Forgive and forgive. I'm like, let's just take a bath. Let's just read a book. Just take a breath. Do we have funtivity? Do we have funtivity? I don't know the last time I ever gotten like a fire. Are there kids in it? No. No. Oh, okay. No. Wow. I just wanted to follow their opportunity. If they did us, it'd be like splash pad. Burn boot camp. This is a gym. This is really mom talk. Let's take dinner and go to bed by 9.30. Girls night once a month. Girls night. We just sit around and eat cookies. Talk. Sometimes we do a sexy dance class. Yeah, you said, oh yeah. You bathed me good content. That's good content. There we go. Except we're bathed. Except we're bathed. They would not be nice. Okay, wow. Okay. Well, this is why we're not getting casted. Well, this is why we're not getting approached. Who has never asked? Who was there not interested? Who has never pinged us? Dang it. I don't know. I don't know. Dang it. Dang it. Oh. Bowser is back. Ha ha. Bowser. Bowser. Everyone calm down. The Super Mario Brothers can take care of the kingdom. Let's go. On April 1st. Toad pack our things. The galaxy is waiting. Who is this? Special. So some cool dinosaur just shows up and he's now part of the group. Cool. The Super Mario Galaxy Movie. Only in cinemas April 1st. Yeah, we watched a movie. Abigail, you were sick. Abigail. You were sick. We invited you. Reminders of him. Yeah, yeah. I was going to go. Did you? I almost left the theater at one point. What? Nothing to do with the movie. Someone came up like 20 minutes into the show and they're like, what's your seat number? And I was like, I'm going to leave right now. What? I'm not in this conversation. Before that, they were behind us and they looked at the girls they were sitting in and said, or the people who took their seats. Because the people who came to you were originally in the wrong seats. Oh, so they sent them over. Yeah, but the people who went up to them and looked at them and said, figure it out. Oh, what is the, it's a movie theater. I almost, I was starting to actually sweating. We all just went. David. I started sweating because I didn't purchase my own ticket. My friend purchased it and I've been with her. I had no idea what my seat number was. So I was like, it's me. I'm the girl. I've been with her. Like we had a seat. We had bought a ticket. I had been scanned in, but I honestly, I don't know what is this about me, but that just really panicked me. Yeah. I was like, I have to leave right now. Then they started walking around to the other side and were like, someone come sit over here. Let's get down. I was scared. It's so weird. She's like, you're in our seat. And I was like, Oh, she said it. Me. Not just like kindly wondering. Well, you know what? That's how my brain. Oh, sure. Told me what happened, but I also was just so frazzled. I was just saying, there were open seats. There were a lot of open seats in this theater. Yeah. I said to an angel next to me, I was like, I need to leave. She's like, everything's fine. You have. I was literally like panicking. What is it about the small social interactions where it's like, if I'm going to get in trouble for something that I know I'm getting into for another big deal. But the little things that you're caught off guard for, you're like, Oh my gosh, I'm going to cry. I have no, I have no plan for this. I am completely improving this situation and I don't know what to do. Anyway, the movie. What would you think about it, Eddie? I thought it was good. I liked the book better, obviously. What was it called? Reminders of him. Reminders of him. I not to be confused with regretting you because I actually read that thing. Is it just us that read both of them back to back? I don't know if it was just a worldwide thing, but I read both of them back to back and then watch the movies back to back. But my biggest thing was the casting was not who I envisioned. And so then it was like, it hurt me during the movie. I just, I felt like it was forgettable. Like I was kind of just like, you'd have to jog my memory about everything that happened and took place in that. And yeah, I don't know. Maybe I'm just like kind of done with calling Hoover thing, but I do think I'm going to read her next one because it's a thriller. Oh, that's kind of fun. I'm going to listen to it on audiobook because actually it's about a podcast. Oh, cool. Let's listen to it. It's a podcast thriller type of thing. Oh, we're not doing the book talk yet. No. Oh my gosh, stop. But anyway, I thought the movie was, it was fine. I mean, I'm not hating on it. I think that the actors did a good job. But I was just like, maybe it's just not my genre. Let's be honest. I did cry at the end. I did as well. I did cry. One off topic thing that irked me during it was the main character. What's his name? Ledger. Ledger. His hair should have been buzzed. It was just a little too long and his beard was needed to be cleaned up. I don't know why they chose that look for him. I thought he would have looked a lot better with a little bit of scrub and completely like shaved off head. I agree. I agree about that. Just a random. His name is Ledger. Ledger. I'm sorry. I've never read any of her books, but every time I hear a character's name from her books, I'm like, I don't like that. They're often. I'd be such you don't like Ledger either. I don't like Ledger. I don't like that. I don't mind it. I actually kind of like it. I just, I guess because I just know all of the names that she picks her books are kind of odd that I'm just needed to like, come on. Her name is Pika Jack. That's kind of normal. Pika. Yeah. Okay. Kenna. Okay. Kenna and Ledger. I know this because I'm currently listening to the audiobook. It's a little awkward to listen to. It's funny. So there's my on exciting opinion on that. I feel like don't go to the theater. I would say watch it if you read the book, but don't go to the theater if you haven't already. Interesting. Not really necessarily worth it. Well, oh, we haven't even said this yet. She's the biggest thing of all. I forgot that this episode was about. Honestly, we started talking about other things. I'm like, wow, I'm pregnant. That feels so weird to say here. I feel like for so long, we've been dodging. I just got so comfortable not talking about it. Anyway, it's not like I really talk about that much of my personal life either. I feel like. Yeah, I feel like we, yeah, I was just talking about other things. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, yeah, it was just different this time, like navigating. Everything is different. Everything is different this time. How far along are you? I am 19 weeks. So yeah, but times comes out. I'll be 20. You've hidden it very well. Really? Yes. Thank you. Yes. Very well. I keep saying it's not that it was necessarily a secret from like, like everyone in my life has known for months, like in my real life, but it was just kind of like I wasn't ready to talk, open it up to the whole internet, you know, type of thing. So yeah, it's like, that's why it feels weird, I guess, because it's like, it's become so common in a way, like in regular conversation in life, except for like these couple hours that the cameras are on, we just like avoid it. But yeah, so halfway, which is exciting. I actually saw recently that the biggest like growth jump you experience is from 18 to 22 weeks, which actually I was like, that kind of surprised me. And then I was like, actually, no, that checks out. I think it makes a lot of sense. Because by the end, I feel like you just start to like, you pop. Yeah. Well, at the end, you're growing, the baby's growing a lot, but I feel like you already have all this, it's just like, they just start taking up more of the percentage of it. And now it's just like, right now it's just like, yeah, fluid. Yeah. You feel baby. Whatever is happening. But I felt kicks at 17 weeks, which was such a gift. And so now it's like feeling like better and real, but it's been wild journey found out on my birthday. I actually didn't know that. Yeah. Well, I didn't believe it. So I didn't really care that. Yeah. I was like, it's, there's a line there and what does that mean? I was confused. Did you know how it all happened? It was in Branson, right? No, no, no. I took a test when you were in Silver Dollar City. I took a test on Thanksgiving and it was negative. Okay. And cause I took it like a couple, like a little early and I feel like everything was off with like my ovulation. Did you just feel off? No, we were hoping to be pregnant. Oh, okay. So you were like, it's time for my period. So we were like, it'd be exciting if it was positive because it's Thanksgiving and, but if it's negative, it'll be okay. Cause it's still a good day cause it's Thanksgiving. Yeah. And it was negative. We're like, boo. And then, um, got back from our birthday trip and I was like, wait, that's so weird. My period still hasn't started. I took a test and there was like a faint line and then I was like, I don't know what that means. Yeah. And so then the next day I took a digital and was pregnant and I still didn't believe it actually. Wait, that's crazy. Yeah. The video is very anticlimactic. Why did I think you did it when you were visiting family? No, that's when I started to have bleeding. Did I tell you about any of that? No. Yeah. So I had, that was six weeks, five, I think it was six weeks. I started to have bleeding. And so I thought it was like all done. You did tell me this because that's when you told me that you're pregnant. And that's also why we started to wait to tell people for like a little bit because it just felt like it was game over for sure. And I mean, the whole pregnancy has been honestly like a mental warfare in a way, but, um, fighting for like joy and excitement. And I feel like we're getting to like a different stage of it now since we're past like that 17 and a half week mark when we lost Emerson at six weeks, I started to bleep like experience bleeding and I have never experienced any bleeding in a pregnancy before. And so that was when we told, I don't know that why you told us before that actually because you told us over Christmas. No, I know, but that was still, I told you that that would have been at eight weeks. Then I told you, oh, so you went to St. Louis before. Oh, okay. Okay. Yeah. Just figuring out this timeline. Sorry. Yeah, we're putting the pieces back together in hindsight. It's really all blur. It's very confusing. Like one. Well, yeah. And we told, okay, so here's how the sister in law is found out. Was really there was controversial. This is controversial. You can say, Caleb, we went to this Christmas. Yeah, this was Christmas. We went to church and Caleb came home after and he goes, I think Abby's pregnant. And I said, why? And he goes, I don't know. She just because he was wearing a tight dress and she's normally really small and she just kind of looked like she had maybe a bump. And I was like, Caleb, that's a crazy thing to say. He was like, he was like, I'm not embarrassed, but he was like, I don't, you know, I don't mean this in it. I was like, it's great, but like, there was a little bit of a bump. And I look back at my picture and it did kind of look like you had a fall. I was like, how did I not notice that? Um, and then they, didn't he ask you? No, he did not ask me. I'll clear his name. I think he asked Matt, he pulled Matt aside, outside, and he said, I think Matt told me this, we might be getting this story wrong because we're hearing about it from her husband. It's dirty. And Matt, he looked at Matt and he was like, Abby's pregnant. And then Matt was like, yeah. I remember they disappeared for a long time. And I was like, where are they? And you guys were all being weird. Yeah, because I had a present that I wanted to give you and Matt at the same time. It was those shirts. It was like, Matt, come inside. Come inside. We're opening presents. Which is so unusual for the two of them. I feel like there's a lot of times when the whole family's like, where did they go? Yes. Maybe Caleb didn't tell me that until after you guys told me. And that was why. For sure. I had no idea why they were disappeared. I didn't know either. So he told me that he thought you were pregnant after you guys told us. Well, because then Matt pulled me aside. He's like, you have to tell Abby right now because Caleb knows and he's not going to. Like it wasn't a bad secret keeper. So he's not going to keep a secret. Yeah. And so once again, it's not that it was a secret. It just felt like everything was so fragile and like, wasn't real. Then we told you on Christmas. And then with Addy and Blake, remind me how this all happened. Yeah. So this happened. When did we go to the tea party? Was that after Christmas, like the beginning of January? No, it must have still been like late December. Late December. Okay. So it was late December and that morning we are actually let's start back on Christmas. Also Christmas Eve, Blake's making wings and Abby cannot stand the smell of it. Like she was like making remarks about the smell. I didn't know this. Blake told me that after the fact and Blake's like, they were really stinky. Blake was like, what do you mean? Like, are you pregnant? And then he was like, and he felt bad for saying that. Abby didn't acknowledge it. I don't think she said she didn't really hear it or like, I didn't know that you're saying that. I kind of remember it, remember it, but I wasn't like offended or good. Yeah. And so then Blake was like, like, why did I say that? Like he felt bad about it. And then fast forward a couple more days, we go to a tea party and yeah, this wasn't sly of me. Let's first say, I also was saying we went to the tea party last year and I was pregnant and I was nauseous. I was like, guys, I remember being so nauseous. Yeah. It's like, what is that little salmon, locks, bagels and stuff. And she, we get there. And she's taking a little bite. She's like, gagging. And then, and then I am again, remember how I found out about like your pregnancy with Emerson? Like I was just reading something. I was really investigating it. So then Abby was like, I can't have caviar. Like I, or she didn't say it. I'm like, you're like, I'm not going to eat that. And then I see her look something up on her phone and she goes, oh, I'm going to eat it. You can have it when you're pregnant. I was like, you shouldn't. It tastes nasty. Oh my gosh. And like you and your mom are looking at each other. So I'm like, okay, Lori knows if she's pregnant, Lori knows. And I was like, okay, then that night. Also the grandmas were there. And you wanted to wait. Yeah. Yeah. Yes. And so that night we went to go see the Christmas lights and we went to dinner beforehand and Abby wasn't really eating and she ordered, what'd you order? I ordered chicken fingers. Chicken fingers and you didn't want them. And she wouldn't give them. And I was so confused. I was like, she's like, oh, they just look so bad. Oh yeah. And Blake looked at it. Whenever she walked away, Blake goes, I think Abby's pregnant. I'm like, no way this happened today. And we talk about our things and we're like the whole time we're walking. We're like, what's going on here? So then I think you guys knew and then you were investigating or interrogating my mom. Yes. And then my mom was like, you have to tell them immediately. And so then we called emergency family game night and we didn't play any games. And we just told you we were. We knew it was a game night. They were like game night and pizza. And I'm like, like they're going to tell us they're pregnant. So we have to go. Oh my God. Not that we weren't going to go, but we're like, we got to make this work. Was that before or after always here dinner at Buckingham Rider? That was right before. It was right after. Because you didn't get alcohol and I didn't get a drink and you ordered sushi and had one piece. I was like, I better start eating the sushi or Addie's going to know. I knew. I knew with that. I mean, when we were there, I knew because you didn't get. You're like telling us. I hadn't told you yet though. Exactly. That's what I'm saying. I kind of knew, but you hadn't told me and I, I was like, I could only eat the bread. I was going to eat like. Eat your sushi. There is. There is literally no. I think this was the timeline. I think Saturday is when we had the tea party. Monday was always here dinner and then Tuesday you told us. Okay. We were getting into crunch time. Yeah. So it was so fun. Terrible job of hiding my symptoms. Gosh, it's such a whiner. Caleb's going to be really embarrassed that I told the internet that, but he didn't mean it. It made my Caleb. He was right. I mean, it was clear in the dress when I looked back and look offended at all. Thank you to Shopify for sponsoring this portion of today's episode. Shopify has been a huge player in my life. I actually use Shopify for five years when I had my small clothing business and it was the best platform. Shopify truly was so user friendly. I mean, it just made the job so much easier. I loved Shopify and starting something new. Isn't just hard. It's actually terrible. So much work goes into this thing and I feel like Shopify truly made it really easy to use. 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It's very user friendly and it just makes your business operations much smoother. It's time to turn those what ifs and tos with Shopify today. Sign up for your $1 per month trial today at Shopify.com slash abbey. Go to Shopify.com slash abbey. That's Shopify.com slash abbey. That's what's been happening. What did your, was your first trimester, did you feel as nauseous as like the past pregnancies? So Griffin and Augie, I took nothing for nausea and I didn't know you could take anything. You just suffered. I just threw up when I'm not going to say I had the worst morning sickness ever, but I did get sick. And then when I was pregnant with Emerson, my, I was at a new doctor and they're like, oh, you can take something. They're like, they were more than happy to give me a prescription. They're like, why don't you just start with taking unisom and b6. And that was enough for me. Like it, obviously I can't eat normal. I can't like, I would still gag, but I never threw up with Emerson and I never threw up this time either because of that combo. I never felt like I needed to go to the prescription medication, but yeah, definitely it's so weird. When you're pregnant, you know, like those things that people say, like, I can't eat food for my own house or I can't eat like any vegetable. Like why is that so true? Like I've done this four times and every time I'm like, I'm going to really eat healthy and try to do this. And obviously things for me, it all ends after the first trimester. Really? But it's so weird. Like I was like one day I was like, I am making this up. I'm literally like, I'm making this up. Get broccoli. Literally, that's the only time I threw up and it wasn't like throwing up. It was just gagging it. Like my body rejected it. Yeah. It was like, you're not eating that right now. We don't need that. I'm like, the baby needs it. The baby needs it. The baby needs it. I never eat McDonald's. I won it in the first trimester. I think McDonald's is really kind of gross. Need it. Yeah. So yeah, it was, it's very comparable to Emerson's. But likely because of the medication. Yeah, that makes sense. Can we make that a PSA to all pregnant women is that unisom and B6, try it as soon as you find out you're pregnant. Ask your doctor. Ask your doctor, but then try it. Because my friend just told me she was pregnant and just got through her first trimester and no one ever told her about that. And she was really sick. Does it not make you question? Like, why don't they make an over the counter medication that's just whatever is that combo of ingredients that makes that work? Yeah. They just call it morning sickness medication. Well, maybe we should and we could become billionaires. Let's do it. Don't do our idea. They can get bought out by pharmaceutical companies. It's crazy. Like, why do we have to just like go ahead and start like mixing supplements and medications to try to combat that? I don't know. They don't even know what causes that. Right. They're like hormones and you're like, that's not actually an answer. What do you really think about it? Is unisom the sleepy medication? It's a sleep aid. So I only take half of them because it is enough to knock you out. Yeah. So how did you take a full? I took a full and then once I stopped getting morning sickness, I weaned off and I did a half because I was so scared to get off of it and feel morning sickness again. Yeah, I remember that. And then I took off of it. Gotcha. I never had nausea. So that is wild. Because it affects like 90% of pregnant women. Both babies. Vivian, I had one day where I was like, I am going to puke. I never did. And it was the day. It was like two days before I took my test to find out that I was pregnant. Weird. Because I was like, I think I... You used to do that early. I know. But I did. I had one out because we were in the Dominican Republic for Caleb's work trip and I brought one pregnancy test because I said, this is the weekend that I'll get my period. So I'll bring it just we can test it on vacation. And it was the day before I took, I think it was the day before I was so sick. And I was like, this is really weird. And sure enough, I was pregnant. But with CJ, I had nothing. Because normally I feel like the worst weeks are like weeks seven to 10. Week 10 is like down bad. I mean, I'm on my back tired, but I don't get. Yeah. Yeah. I was nauseous. Yeah. Six through 10. No, no, no. Actually six through 12. I feel like mine peaks at 10 though. Well, after you were the most sick. I was really sick. You were really sick. After the stomach bug, I have immense sympathy for you all because I had nausea yesterday was insane. And I just think about that. It's different. I don't think it probably is nausea. I'm like, that's got to be how it is every day of pregnancy. I think the difference is I'm also not afraid to throw up. So I would throw up every single day. Just because I was like, it'll make me feel. Wait, you did it on purpose? No, I just felt nauseous. And so I'd go and I throw up. Oh, I fought it for my life. I'm laying about it. I'm like, it's so much worse. That's Blake. Eating saltines. What happened to you? Is your mom scared of throwing up? It's a real phobia because you, you and your brother are both like that. It's in my bones. It's in Blake's bones. Because he was telling me I don't know how to throw up. I'm like, I have a theory that when I throw up, it's a violent experience. Like I pop blood vessels in my face because you're trying to hold it in. Is that it? Yes. I feel like, no, I'm going to breathe through it. You're going to breathe through it. No, I can't. I was coaching CJ. I was like, take a deep breath, relax and go. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. I will do anything to avoid it. And so, um, yeah, no, had a lot of nausea, weird cravings. Weird. Yeah. I guess my cravings, I don't know if I had weird cravings. Oh, if you're comfortable talking about your food categories, how does that change during first time? Everything's out the window. Really? What do you mean your food category? What is this? I'm a very routine person with food. Like it has to fit in a category of breakfast, lunch, dinner, snack, dessert. Okay. And there's, it has to fit in a category out of the door first time. Really? No. And you can do that mentally? Like mentally? Oh, there's survival for sure. It doesn't even actually cross my mind. It's actually, I have a hard time eating like anything. So it's like, I know that I'm already at a deficit for everything because I like, I'm like cheese quesadilla and like nibbling it. I just cannot relate to that. My first trimester, I'm so hungry both times. That's where I'm at right now. I gained probably some of the most weight in my pregnancy in the first trimester because I'm starving. That's where I'm at right now. Really? Like I cannot get enough food in a day. That's how I am right now. Do you need us to go get, I have a steak in my bag. Psycho crazy. It's like really crazy. I'm like every hour and a half. The baby doesn't need this. It's like I had, I needed like a full meal every hour and a half. I googled what your caloric needs are. Don't, they lie. I'm like, this is mean. It's like an extra 200 calories a day. It's at 350. I'm like, okay, but I'm, go jump. Like please get out of here. I don't care. I don't care. That's also a blessing of a fourth pregnancy. I give zero rips about anything regarding my body. Sure. In fact, more than ever, I'm like, oh my gosh, such a blessing to grow and to have the baby grow and like everything like this. Every symptom so welcome. Like even when I was like nauseous, I was like, yay. Like so excited. And I mean, Matt even told me recently, like we were laying in bed. He's like, gosh, he's like, I can't believe like we're at where we are because he's like, you have literally not complained about a single thing. Yeah. And I was like, yeah, because I'm, you're not going to hear Pete from me. You're not going to literally, I'm just so grateful. So obviously the mental aspect of it has been like really tough. And so that I have complained about he did not mention that, which is obviously he wouldn't do that. But yeah, so definitely eating a lot of food. Definitely getting puffier. Does the fourth physically feel harder though than the first three? Is it the same? I think it's the same. Okay. That's great news. I think it's the same. Oh yeah. Addie, what was you needed to tell people your theory? I think I said this on unplanned, but I was like, I feel like the first pregnancy was such a dream. Like this is so fun. Everything about it is so beautiful and mystical and new and like a little confusing, but fun. You know, you feel so beautiful. And then the second pregnancy was like, this hurts. I'm sore. I feel fat. Like, you know, just like all the things like it was just way harder for me to stay focused and locked in. And then you, I was like, well, maybe the first one's easy. The second one's hard. Everything just was like way more sore the second time. So maybe the third one, you know, it's like an exercise set. The first set you're like, okay, I have energy. The second set you're pretty tired. The third set you kind of get like a third wind. No, it's not like that. No, it's not like that. You don't get a second wind with each pregnancy. No, I do think they're most of the reporting is getting harder and harder. And actually, can I tell you my theory? Yeah, my theory is that you get one pregnancy. The rest, you're just growing a baby. I think I've, I were second that. I'm terrific. For sure. You get one pregnancy. You can nap. You can like, right. Get me my craving. Like you can be like, you can be needy. Uh-huh. Second pregnancy. No. Pipe down. You have a child to take care of. Suck it up. You need to wake up. Yeah. You need to take care of everything. Right, right. Yeah. And I'm fine with that. I think that we only need one. Right. And then your husband can just baby you. Like that's, that just goes for him and that, that expectation doesn't change. Totally. And I also do think like even for Matt, like it's so interesting. And I think this is a result of pregnancy after loss, but also just like being on the fourth one, like it's like, I think he has like such a deep respect now. Yeah. Like I feel like he's literally worshiping the ground I walk on. And I'm like, this is incredible. Let's keep doing that. Now he's like so excited too. He's like, how many kids do you want? He's like, really? He's like, we said we'd stop at four. He's like, but are we going to be done? He's like, I think I'd be really sad to think that we only have one more time of doing it. And I'm like, yeah, that's amazing. I love that. I was like, let's leave the door open. But I do think like, at least in our experience, like for the husband, like for the dad, like I feel like also I think the nature of like having more of a gap, we have a larger gap now than I ever anticipated having. Like I think that you just get enough time to reset and get your bearings again. You're like, wait, that was super cool. This is what we have to look forward to. And this is the precious beginnings of all that. Totally. We both feel that, but it's cool to also see like the husband experience that in like a different way. Yeah, that is really true. Yeah, I can see that for sure. Because every time like you're saying it does get harder. And so then your husband's like, thank you for doing this. The reward of having your child is the best gift of all time. And so then it's like, thank you for literally going through. HG double L. HG double L. Yeah. Thank you to Policy Genius for sponsoring this portion of today's episode. It's now March and we are getting settled into the new year. All those things that we have put off, it's all come into the top. And one of those things that at least in our household has been insurance related tasks. Most of the time it is. It feels like a big thing, but Policy Genius makes it easy, which is really, really amazing. Policy Genius can help check protecting the life you've built off your spring to do list. Financial planning for the future can feel overwhelming, but finding the right insurance policy can help ease that weight. I feel like with life insurance, it feels like such a grown up thing to do. It's responsible. Especially a lot of people listening to this podcast are probably young families and going there feels a little easier with the support of a company like Policy Genius. 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I feel like they're also just like confused. So I feel like girls are a little bit more in tune with that. Like even my friends, kids that have daughters the same age, they're way more like receptive asking more questions that are more in depth than like our kids. Although Griffin did ask us the other day, how did the baby get in there? Oh my gosh. That's a daddy question. No, Matt answered it. Yeah, good. I mean you gotta be honest. I was like, you know, I never want to lie. Yeah. But I don't think you can ever start those talks too early. No, and it was great. And he did an awesome job and we like, but afterwards I was like, whoo, we're starting. I didn't think I was going to start yet. But I should have known. Like all the talk that we had about like having a baby and like we're in love, like all this stuff. And anyway, I'm sure by the, I feel like CJ really clicked for him in the third trimester when I was like really had a big belly because you know, they can visually see the baby more. And well, Aki thinks, uh, right. The baby's in here. Of course. Because those have, he's like, ooh, what's in there? That's a massive symptom I have. My niece, when I was pregnant with CJ, I was like, there's a baby in here in my belly. And she goes, you ate your baby. Your niece? Yeah. Oh, my cousin. Sorry. My cousin. Um, yeah. She goes, you ate the baby. I said, Oh, oh, you should ask your mommy about that. She's like, no, how'd the baby get in there? I feel like you could say no. I did say, I was like, no, no, but you should ask your mommy how it got in there. I'm like, I don't know. Uh, it logically made sense. I know. I feel like an explanation is warranted because for girls are like, I don't want this just randomly happening, right? Totally. I don't want, can I eat something wrong? I don't want to fall pregnant randomly. Totally. This would be your fourth birth. Yes. Does that feel daunting? No, no, no. You feel like you were like, you got it. We got this on lock. Well, especially the nature of how like we're going to meet this baby is no labor. Yeah. No labor. You've never experienced a schedule. Schedule C section. Yeah. Like, okay, I am saying this as someone that had what could be considered. I don't have trauma associated, but what could be considered as a traumatic first birth? Yeah. Where things didn't go right to the point where they didn't really want me to even try to attempt that a second time to having a scheduled C section, which really feels like you're checking in to some type of hotel. That's a little weird. It's a hotel. You just show up. I had self tan on. I had my makeup done. Your hair curled. My hair ready. Fully rested. I slept all night. Amazing. Went in at noon, holding my baby at one o'clock where that was. Yeah. And I was like, that was incredible. Sick. And my recovery wasn't that bad. So I'm saying like, you got to understand the life experience I'm coming from when I'm saying this. Obviously, the nature of birth number three is not one that we're going to put in the same category. It wasn't live birth and was deeply traumatic in a number of other ways. But between those two, I'm like, yeah, I'll take the second one. Those lights went crazy. I just thought I blinked weird. I was like, am I losing consciousness? I've been getting a little blackout. Oh, no. A little blackout when I stand, which maybe I think my iron might could be. That could be the spinach and electrolytes girl. No, I had to take iron with Griffin and but shots. I remember that. Yeah. I felt much better. I had it in my favorite journal. Went to Abby's but shot appointment. Did you go? We like dropped you off. Yeah. I came back so chipper. That stuff works immediately. Okay. Wait, let me give it a little back story with Griffin with my first pregnancy. I was just, you don't know what to expect. I was like, I'm pregnant. Like I'm going to be tired. I'm going to be like so drained and exhausted and get headaches. I was very, very tired. They checked my red blood cell counts, normal routine blood work that you do. They said that they flag it as anemic. I believe if it drops below 55, they're like, you have five red blood cells. Five? And normally 55? I was down to five. Your lips were so white. So white. And they were like, you need to come back today. Yeah. Yeah. You need to get... I started taking iron. I didn't need to get you a booster or anything, but they gave me a shot of, I think it was B12. And I was like, is this stuff supposed to work immediately? This is amazing. I felt incredible. And then we went to Joshua Tree. Joshua Tree. It was that day. I felt so good. Yeah, it was that day. I felt incredible. Good thing we got it before Joshua Tree. Anyway, what was I saying? Four is labor. So no, I'm not, I'm not, no, no, no, no. No, worry about it. Good. Well, because also it's very predictable. Sure. And the nature of this type of deliverates the, that's the one perk. Oh, also, yeah. That's what I say. Our friend just had a baby and she was like talking about her worst case scenario, which would be her having a C-section. I said, well, your worst case scenario is my inevitable. Like that's what's happening. So not to dismiss your fears, but I'm like, it's not, if that's what has to happen, it's really not that bad. Yeah. Well, I didn't have to happen for her, but I'm like, okay, we can share a positive C-section experience. Totally. I felt great. I felt fine and amazing. I got so many messages when I was going back and forth between doing this schedule C-section or attempting a V-back and so many women were like, oh my gosh, I love my C-section. It was beautiful and my births were amazing. And my mom loved, she had three C-sections and she loved them. She was like, you're in, you're out. You're on the go. I'm fine. I mean, obviously your recovery is painful. It's really, it's more painful. It's really painful. And like your time in the hospital, oh, that's enough to make me attempt crazy. It's not an option for me. Like, realistically, it's not a safe option for me. No. And I tried, I even this pregnancy, I was like, let's reopen the conversation. Everyone was like, multiple doctors were not even slightly really entertaining. Like, no, it's all right. They're like, let's talk about it. Like, they're, no, we're not going to talk about it. And even if I were to like find an alternate method, like they don't accept what, what I've had before. So it's like, it wasn't even, it's not really even, which is kind of nice not having to worry about making a decision on that. Honestly, I'm like, it's all good. It's all fine and dandy. And so we're just going to make the most of that situation. I will self tan the night before I will be fully rested. I will, I'm just speaking all these things out there. Um, so no, it's not daunting. The recovery, I'm like, I'm going to do things a little differently. I'm going to take the pain medication. Gosh, please. I didn't take it last time. And I was like, why did I do that? I can't even imagine not doing that. Like I was, I mean, I was in the hospital for a long time, but I needed it. I took Tylenol. No, but I needed the oxy. Yeah. I think I did too. I don't know. I mean, you have a really high pain tolerance. So I could see maybe in the moments in the hospital, you'd be like, no, I'm good. And then you're getting home and everything they're wearing off and then freaking out. But like that was so painful. Oh yeah. So yeah, that's a good, that's a really positive step to change. I'm taking oxy. No. Uh, yeah, that's, that's also makes it like less daunting. And also just now I know what to expect more from recovery. I want that like ice band around there. That felt so good. Ice packs around that area felt really, really good. Nice. But yeah, I mean, what are you going to do? Right. The stings that you can't pick up your other kids, but also they're big enough. They're going to be big. Yeah. So it's not even like that big of a, the problem is that you can't lift the car seat and stuff. Yeah. For six weeks. I know I kind of did anyway. Well, I mean, you got to do what you got to do. You do got to do what you got to do. Well, I didn't the first two weeks, but after that, I was like, I have to load them up. Yeah. I think I, you can't drive for two weeks after having a right. So I didn't really. You could always put the Duna in and then load your baby up. Yeah. Yeah. I should do that. Yeah. I didn't think to do that. After CJ, but you just figure out other ways later on. I know. I know. Now our car seats have expired almost. I was going to ask you about that. Did you know that, Addy? No, your car seats expired after six years. Yeah. You should get a new. Yours needs to be expired. Your Duna needs to be replaced anyway. Yours needs to be expired. The handle is like, that's a follow. Very wobbly. It is wobbly. Yeah. You guys, you travel with that thing. That's fine. So yeah, no, I'm not, I'm very excited. Honestly, that's the only thing that's like kind of helped the worst days like mentally of this pregnancy is just like envisioning and obviously I'm envisioning a C-section like laying there and Matt holding the baby and like hearing their cry and like getting back to our room. Like that's the only thing that has like helped get through. I mean, the main thing to get through those like hardest days. Cause yeah. I mean, pregnancy after loss, like moms that get it, get it. It's like you have your pregnancies before and then you have your pregnancies after and they are vastly different. And like honestly, like it's so interesting like the way it happened for me, like having two healthy pregnancies and then a loss and also like a late, like a late miscarriage. Like that really flipped everything upside down. And it's like, I can't even actually relate or remember those pregnancies before. Makes sense. Which is weird. And it's like, it's sad. Like I'm like, man, that was so, I didn't even know how blissfully ignorant I was. And now we're on the other side of that and you can't ever return to that. And I just think I just had to make peace with that earlier. Like I was like, it's not going to be the same. And so there's other things about it that it's like, it's so much better to fully understand like the miracle of it all. And like the just, I mean, it truly like just the miracle of it all. And I understand that now in a much deeper way, but I would do anything to get back, you know, to before. I'm like, I wish I could just pretend like I don't know what I already know. I've seen what I've already seen, right? But you don't get that option. And you keep going on or you don't. And I totally understand moms that choose that to be the end of their road. Totally. There's no, that I get it. That's enough to, that's, that was almost enough to make me the fear of it all. But for sure. Here we are. And we just really have positive visions of a redemptive pregnancy experience. And it's happening. Yes. It is happening. Yes. We are so grateful. So grateful. Yes. It's been a lot. It's been a lot. You've been a champion through it. You're sweet. We're proud of you and we're excited and so, so happy. Ah, yeah. And we can't wait to celebrate this baby. Yes. Thank you to Needed for sponsoring this portion of today's episode. Being postpartum and coming out of pregnancy, truthfully, your body goes through a lot. Oh yeah. It is a lot. And it needs a lot of support. And that is where Needed comes in, which is really, really nice. Pregnancy and postpartum are some of the most nutritionally demanding times in a women's life. And there are so many options for supplements that it sometimes is a little overwhelming. Yeah. I remember just asking my doctor like, what do I actually need? Right. And what's actually going to work? Yes. And that's why we wanted to thank Needed for sponsoring this portion of today's episode. Needed offers products that are formulated by experts in women's health and recommended by over 6,000 practitioners. Their starter plan includes a prenatal multi made with bioavailable nutrient forms and omega-3 that is sustainably sourced. Their prenatal multi and omega-3 are designed to meet mothers and babies' optimal micronutrient needs. Up to 95% of mothers aren't meeting their omega-3 needs. Give your body the omega-3 it needs for fetal development, hormonal and mood balance, postpartum recovery, healthy breast milk, a healthy inflammatory response and more. I'm a big fan of Needed because I just really trust their brand. I love that they're developed by women that have been in this exact stage of life and know what they're doing to meet those unique needs in such a hormonally wild, physically wild time of our lives. Head over to thisisneeded.com and use code ABBY for 20% off your first order. That's T-H-I-S-I-S-N-E-E-D-E-D.com and use code ABBY for 20% off your first order. Ask, ask, ask ABBY! Hi, I was just wondering, I'm pregnant with my second child. My first ended in a C-section. My doctor's on board with a V-Back. I know that Abby has just had one recently. I was wondering if maybe she had any tips that helped her get her V-Back and what they would be. Thank you. That's a great question. Yeah, thanks for asking that. I feel like I have a lot of, I made a whole video on it because I'm like, there's so many things that I did differently. A YouTube video? No, I did a reel on it. I think I did talk about it in a YouTube video too, but my post birth part of Q&A. I feel like the biggest thing, the reason that was CJ, I had a C-section was that he never descended down. It was in a good position. So my whole goal with Vivian was to try to help my body put her in the best position for labor. And so I just did all the things. In the second trimester, I started walking daily and I tried to walk at least a mile every day. Just because it really helps every, I don't know, I'm not going to get into the science of things, but I walked a lot. I did the spinning babies. I asked my doctor about it and they had a packet with all the spinning babies method exercises and some of their tips for having a successful vaginal birth. And so I did all the exercises in there, at least in the third trimester started doing that. And then the third trimester, I did more of the holistic stuff where I did the dates and the tea every day. I bounced on that ball a lot. It was really just like strengthening my body and trying to open my hips up more so that she could descend down better. So that was the stuff that I did kind of leading up. And then this is not medical advice by any means. So take this just like with what you will. I think every person is so different. I definitely want to do an epidural. I want to have pain management. I did not want to be induced with my second just because with CJ, I felt like he just wasn't in a good position and the induction just didn't help with that. So I really wanted to try to avoid that this time around just to see if my body could naturally get her down. Obviously, if I needed ptocin or those things, I would have taken it. But I just wanted to do what I could naturally to get my contractions going and more consistent. So I tried to avoid any induction medication when I was at the hospital and things were already moving. And then I just kind of waited a little longer to get my epidural so that even while I was having contractions and stuff, I could be up and moving and she could be moving on down because I read a lot about how like when you're laying there, the baby doesn't always move down as easy. So I just knew that was from my personal experience. That was my problem is that CJ wasn't in the best position. And so I just tried to fix it doing those things. So I don't know what led to your C-section the first time, but maybe just entering some of those questions if. Yeah, with different solutions. Good advice. Thanks. I'm not a doctor. Hi, Abby. My husband and I are trying to prepare our bodies to start a family. And I recently found out my progesterone is very low. And with that, it could make conceiving much harder and put me at high risk for in this carriage. So with all that being said, how are you guys able to overcome the fear of the unknown possibilities? Thank you guys so much. Love you. Bye. That's a hard one. I'm not. What was the question? Are you able to overcome it? Well, you know what? You just got to rip the band in. Yeah, there's no way. There's no way out the other side, but through it, therapy helps a lot. I understand that's like expensive and difficult. And I feel like also just know like everyone says this, like you'll probably have some good advice too. But like it's not a linear experience. Like I remember like when I got to like 17 weeks of this experience, which I mean, granted, a lot of people have taken a deep sigh of relief long before 17 weeks. But that was like an extremely tough week for me. And I like gone to therapy and I was like a total mess the whole time, like for 60 minutes straight. And I was just, I remember telling my therapist, I was like, I'm just so frustrated because I felt like I was past this. Like I felt like I had like made so much progress. Like we were like, I felt like this was all something that was behind me. And like even saying that, as I was saying, I was like, you know, they always say this stuff is not linear, but then it just feels like it really should be, you know? And so just knowing that like they'll be good days and there will be bad days and that neither one is not as like, they're not all going to be bad days. They're not all going to be good days. And going into with that understanding, you can just have a lot less fear attached to those bad days. It doesn't feel like, oh my gosh, this is how it's going to be forever until we meet our baby. And so yeah, that was really wordy, not helpful advice. I think that was really good advice. Thanks. I think this isn't in regards to pregnancy necessarily. I just think in general, when I feel really scared, I always try to think on the other side of it. I'm like, okay, if worst case scenario things happen, will I like how will I be okay in the end? And the answer is always yes. Like I think that we can get through so much stronger than we believe and know. And I have to have to remind myself that I'm like, if the worst case scenario things happen, like I have family, I have Caleb, I have this. Like there are things that we have in place that can help get us through it. And obviously we don't want to go through hard things. And that's why we feel scared about it. Because it's like, that is so horrible. And I don't want to experience that. And I don't want to do that. But if it happens, I know that will be okay in the end. And like things will look different, but we'll get through it. I think it's just reminding yourself that. And like that is where a lot of like the faith aspect comes in. It's like, I have to have faith that like no matter what happens, I can get through this. And yeah, I don't know. I haven't really experienced like, I think a lot of scary things, but I think a lot of times it feels like with modern science and innovation, we can control family planning more than ever. But we still cannot control family planning. Right. And that is just the bottom line. I don't think this is something that will ever be guaranteed. And that's why it's such a miracle. Yeah. And so I think just going into this, you're already asking the right questions of like, how do I like? Because I think me, blissfully ignorant, even trying for our first, like I was like, we'll get pregnant and then that'll be like it. And then we have our babies. And it's like, great. Nine months later. And like, you're already asking the right questions and you already understand that this is outside of your control. And going into that, you're just already setting yourself up for like just a posture of surrender in a way that is just like, it simply requires. Like the fact is, is some of us end up with all of our kids and there's relatively no complications. Everyone will face complications and challenges and highs and lows, but relatively no. And the only difference between them and other people that have, you know, lived the worst case scenario is simply just luck. Yeah. And that's really what it boils down to. And so just fully surrendering and then just like lean on your spouse a lot and your community of friends. And yeah, it's just one of those things. It is totally. If you're a believer, pray and journal and bring all those fears to God. I think a lot of times saying them out loud and not like holding onto them is helpful to like voicing those things. Oh, totally. Yeah. Cause sometimes I feel like when you're sitting on a fear and you're, it's in your head and then you're rummaging on it, it's really easy to like get into a spiral. And if you can get those out loud and speak through them, I think that's healthy. Yeah. Hi, Abby. I've been calling you both for quite some time now. And I remember that you both had unplanned emergency use sections with your firstborns. Um, that was also my experience with my son this past October. So my question is, did you deal with any feelings of failure following your C-sections or just wondering if you could have done anything differently to prevent them? Thank you. I had a lot of those feelings after CJ. I think that was one of the hardest things to, I felt a lot of anger at my body because I felt like my body filled me. And it wasn't necessarily that. Like I was, I mean, the C-section in my head, I was like, oh, I was like mad that I had to do that because it just seemed so, hard after like going through labor for so many hours. And so I just like made my body for the first time ever. It just didn't do what I was needing it to do. And I felt very betrayed by my body. And that was like a very weird feeling. And I think there was a lot of like processing for that for sure. So you're not alone in those thoughts at all. I think over time, I was like, I think there was, there's just a level of acceptance that I had to reach where I was like, it's just okay, like that it happened. I think I used to look at my scar and like feel angry at times, not because I had a scar on my body. I was just like mad at my body for not working right. And I can't even really explain that, but I think just especially when we're young and healthy and like everything's always gone my way. It just felt like I had this reminder of all the time of like, I always had this reminder where I look in the mirror and like, my body betrayed me. And I think it's okay to feel that preventative wise. I don't know. I feel like if there are things that I would do differently, I think I didn't, I don't think I actually needed the induction in the long run. And CJ was just so high in my stomach that like he was just not ready to come down at all. And so we really forced it. So I was just one of those cases though where I had an induction and didn't work, but a lot of people have that and it works great. So I don't know. It's not like it's just pregnancy and birth. It's just not a one size fits all for everybody and everyone's experience is so different. And they had a lot of concerns about him being too big. And so we just did what we thought was best. And so no, I don't think, but now that we know that I don't have massive babies, I'm okay not doing that in the future. You know, I feel like birth and labor is a whole trial and error. Yeah, I actually didn't have an emergency season actually my first time. He did come out, but it was an emergency situation. And so I definitely did feel feelings of failure when they were telling me I just needed to schedule a C-section after he did come out. Imagine my first. I was like, you mean I'm just going to show up and lay down and not even try? Like for me in my spirit, like I'm like, that just doesn't sit right with me. And so I just needed to really evaluate like what was my own like this is going to this is my unique situation. I'm not saying this is other people's situation, but like what was my own ego and what was like actually what we needed to evaluate was like wise medical sound advice from multiple professionals. And so once I like set that aside, but even still this day, I'm like, I'm really just going to show up and lay down and get frozen and get it like it does bother me. No. And I'm like, dang, but it's just it's just a reality of it all. And it doesn't mean that like I'm weaker or I view myself as weaker or anything. But yeah, there's just so much complicated emotions with birth and so much like it is all just so touchy and everyone had a lot of women have gone through it. So a lot of people have big opinions on it. And it's also like a peak experience in our life. Like you're reaching the limits of your and so there's just such heightened emotions around it. And so totally it's just hard to even talk about in a way that's like not going to step on people's toes. I know, like, I don't know. I've just had to learn to settle on of that. Like I said, I'm like, this is my isolated experience for what it is. And any outside opinions on that is like that's actually coming from your personal experience, right? Which really doesn't play a role in my decision making. And so it's just like or shouldn't. So I agree. We're going to talk about it with everyone. Like, oh, this is what I experienced, but it's really hard to be like, hey, you should do this. You should do this. I know that's why even when I talk about like I was induced with CJ, I get like nervous saying that because I never want to sway someone away from doing that. If their doctors recommended it, I think I'd probably needed to be induced because you did. Yeah, I mean, he was big and you need to be like early. But just for frame, like it wasn't even like that huge. I know. But it's just like that's why it's so hard when I say things like that. I'm like, well, I just know that didn't work for my body the first time. So I'll do something different. That's why I'm like, it's hard to sort through the advice. So hard to sort through it. Other just once again, family planning is just a big exercise and surrender. Like it really is. And you can't put too much on yourself. Like there's only so much of what that's within your control. Right. And that's what's scary about it. But that's also why it's a great exercise in your own faith, too. Because it's just like there's so much outside of your control. I remember feeling that way after my friend, after I had CJ and I had the C section. And I was like, well, I want to do things differently next time. And then I had a friend who did literally everything that you're supposed to do, like everything right. And then she went into labor and her body just never progressed and she had to see section. I remember crying and being like, okay, there's just, there's no way to ensure a perfect scenario. And so I think there was a level of that where I was like, okay, just have to accept whatever you really have to go with an open control. What you can control and then surrender the rest, which is unfortunately a lot of it. It's actually 98%. Let's be honest. Yeah. I felt like mine was different. I did go into spontaneous labor, but about, I think I was 36 weeks in Brielle was still, she was, what's that? Advert. Transfer. Transfer. So she was still sideways. So she hadn't turned head down and they told me it was likely that I would have to have a C section. And I bald, like when I left the doctor's appointment, because I was so set that I wasn't going to have to do that. And so I do think while I was really sad and I had to go through the emotions of like, okay, that's probably, it was coming from pride of like, I want to be able to do what my body was surely designed to do and not have to have a C section. But then I was able to process all those emotions beforehand, rather than it being an emergency at the end and having to process it during the moment. And so I was like very thankful that I was able to like, I was able to talk to both of you about that too and be, say how I was nervous and scared and going through those emotions of like, my body was supposed to do this. Why is she not turning and doing that? And then coming to peace with it and then coming into another appointment, then telling me she was head down. I was like, I was grateful that I was going to be able to try to do it spontaneously that way. But I went through that same experience when they were not the same, completely different because it was an emergent situation, but having to process those emotions beforehand, I was very grateful for even though I was pretty upset about it. We have a pretty good range here. We have a huge range. Yeah. Totally. I think, like you say, you think it's easier just going and laying down for a C section. I think like obviously the labor part, like delivery part is probably easier because you're just laying there, but the recovery is so different. Like, oh yeah. Yeah. I think that's where you're just picking where your pain is. Well, I'm just saying you, this is a fact. You don't labor. Right. So it's like that your labor experience is easier. Yeah. Fact. Sure. I mean, I guess I technically was in like having contractions. You were having contractions like a month before. He never moved down. He was never planning on coming out of my vagina. And they're like, please, my body. I had so many stress tests because they're like, do you not feel as if I'm like, no, I actually do. Yeah. I've been in pain for six weeks. They didn't hurt. No, none of them hurt. It was just like pressure, you know? And I was like, I think it's because he was not planning. That man was never planning on coming through my breast. He's like, cut me out or else. He was going crazy. He might not cry the minute, you know, she's actually maybe so I'm crying. Oh, he can start screaming. Check this out. No, they were literally like, oh my goodness. He's got lungs. That's what they say. That's like their nice way. Yeah. Actually, did you know an elementary, I was an elementary education major and I remember one day I show up to class and they're like, okay, so this is a misbehavior or like a characteristic of like a disobedient student. And this is how you present it to the parents. And like one of them was like, you know, he won't sit in his seat. It's like he's, he's very active learner. Like, or it's like, they won't shut up in class. Like they have a lot to share. Like there's just, you have like a nice way of saying it. And I feel like that was like the nurses nice way of saying like this dude might be calling awesome, awesome lungs. This is about Vivian too. And she came out like, oh, the lungs. She lost her voice that first, the first two days. Brielle kind of too. Actually, did you guys, they all cry right away for you guys. CJ was over over a minute. Oh, I listened back in. It was like 45 seconds. I didn't even know. Yeah. CJ's was long. Like my video of birth is that of his delivery was long and he didn't cry the whole video. I remember Caleb and I had a moment where we were like, we were just kind of looking at each other. And then when he started crying, we were crying. It was a long, I do think C-section babies take a little, they did say that. And he was under distress just from like all good. But yeah, but he's, he's in the middle. That's like Brielle too. Brielle, the cord was dropped around her neck. So it was a really fast delivery. Delivery. Yeah, not labor. The labor was pretty quick too. But yeah, the delivery was really fast because of that. And then I think that's probably why she wasn't crying. Yeah. That's all for voicing. Oh, it's a great conversation. The book club. Ladies, I finished the book. In one day, I read 300 pages. That's, I actually read it all in one day too. Yeah. It was actually read fast. It read fast. I did skim and skip a lot. I don't know. Okay. This regard Abigail's review of this book. No, no, no, no, no. I skipped like one section. No, I can speed read. You read like you pick out a couple sentences on the page and then you kind of see like, oh, these are the important sections to read. I skipped all of the like thought commentary I didn't care about. What? Your review does not count. No, I read both. No, I did it. I did my homework. You can't pick out what you want to read. This is a homework. Yes, I can. I loved the sections. The book club. Obviously, the in the moment on the space shuttle. I read every word of those. I read all those words. I loved the storyline with the sister and her niece. I read all that. Everything else I kind of skimmed. Oh my gosh. Okay. So I couldn't really care about. I didn't really care about the other astronauts. I really like his author. I think that she does a good job. Makes between like telling a story and then also it's still like like it's not necessarily like a deep read. Like I would say it's like a lighter story. Yeah. This book might be my least favorite of the ones that I've read of hers. Really? I really wanted more of the spaceship experience. Yeah, I know. Me too. Like I feel like it was actually like 5% of the book. And I really wanted more spaceship experience. I loved the woman power. I love like women in space and like, you know, being the first to like, first woman from NASA first. Like I love that aspect of it. I love like a slight historical element to it. I like the space talk guys. Ever since I read Project Hail Mary, I feel like I'm kind of an expert on space. So I was like, oh, I know about this stuff. I like the space element. I thought it was cool. And so yeah, I just wanted more about the mission. I really did. Yeah. I was a little confused on what the explosion was. That like. Oh, you're right. Like with the door. Yeah. It was just she just said an explosion happened and it was just shrapnel. Yeah. So it was from the. They left the door open. They left the door open. So dude, a comet hit them? Did a star hit them? What? No, so they were taking something on the satellite, whatever it was. And then it like messed up. Something malfunctioned. But you're right. I think that I was a little bit confused. I feel like that is something astronauts would have to fill in for me. Yes. I wish we got more of her mission of. I forgot the names already. But it's only about the mission that failed. Victoria. No, and the other one. Well, when she threw up the whole time on the. Yeah, that's true. We got none of that. We did a little bit. I would have liked more there. I really liked the dynamic between her and Lydia and like all the girls on Lydia, because I think they all played a different role within like the women empowerment and being in NASA. Whereas. Oh yeah, like they hated her. Yeah, because she tried to be one of the guys. Yes. And then what's the main character's name? I was just asking why I cannot remember her name. Joan. Joan was like why are you trying to be like one of them? There was a line there that's kind of stuck with me. She's like, we don't need to be. Oh, she said men are hard and brittle. But I find that being soft and flexible actually gives you more. Yes. Strength. Yes. Or what was it? Or you're more resilient or whatever she said. And I was like, that's just so true. Yes. More long lasting. What was the word that she used? Pull up the quote. Oh, here we go. Because the world had decided that to be soft was to be weak, even though in Joan's experience, being soft and flexible was always more durable than being hard and brittle. Durable. That's so true. Mm-hmm. Yeah, I thought that was a really good quote. And I just, I liked their discussion there of like, we don't have to try to fit in and be one of the guys. We have our own strengths as women. And two things, it's like they can do their thing and we can do our thing. And they call men each other really well. I don't know. I just really appreciate that. I think Lydia's character was really important too, because I feel like a lot of women when, like, end up getting really competitive. It's easy to get really competitive with each other when it's like, oh, we actually are in the same. We should be headed together towards the same goal. Totally. And, but like, I liked, I feel like Lydia did have a really good character arc at the end where she was like, yeah. She was doing what she thought she had to do to make achievements as a woman. Yeah. And like, they were doing the same. Yeah. I actually genuinely really liked and cared about all the characters of this book, which I think is actually a good reason why I rate books highly, is I was like, if I'm invested in the characters, then I'm just overall going to like the book more. Yeah. What was the name? Do you feel that way? The name, you didn't feel that way? Yeah. You didn't feel that way? I wasn't really invested in the characters. Really? Really? I liked, I liked the way that they spoke. I thought the character development for all of them was really good. I didn't read half of it. I thought it was good. This is not my style of writing. I like a little more young girl. The what? Younger. Younger. Like, I'm just like a little more like cheesy and like, it just felt a little more grown up to me. And I'm not a grown up. I feel like it did air on the side of literary fiction, more on the side of like romance. Yeah. And so, which I like those types of books. But I gave it four stars. I emotionally gave it five stars because I was like, at the ending, I was just so invested in what was going to happen. But then after I was thinking about it more, I was like, it really was a four stars. Because I don't know that I would necessarily excitedly recommend it to people. But I'm like, I enjoyed it, the experience of reading it. Yeah. But I did lower our last book called Book Two or Two. The more I thought about it and dissected it, I was like, that book was actually Looney Tunes. Remember when I gave it a five? Yeah. When we were in Rhode Island, we were still, we were still dissecting it. I'm still hashing it out and dissecting it. I was like, it's actually a two to the point where I need to actually make sure other people don't read it. I have my mom read it. Yeah, she didn't like it. She didn't. I didn't talk to her about it. She was like, I'm reading your book club book, and it was so bad. I think she said it was dumb. I think it was dumb. That was the point of it though. You know, she's a, you know, people really like her, but I just think I might be done with that book. But I really do like Taylor Jenkins read this book. I feel like I wouldn't excitedly recommend it, but I was very like. It was a good read. I felt, I felt like I will remember this book. Yeah. I remember the journey the woman took. What? I had two quotes that stuck out to me when I was reading it that I noted. This one was, this is Joan speaking. She said, I always had the top grading class, and I would come home and brag about how I helped this boy who sat next to me that was struggling with times tables, or I helped the girl with the spelling. Then one day this boy joins our class, and he's really good at math. Not as good as me, but almost. And he asked me for help, and I told him I'd think about it. But I didn't want to. Bobby Simpson. I was so scared that he'd take my top score for me. I told my mom that I wasn't going to help him, and my mom said that if I was going to be proud of myself for being generous, then I had to do it even when it meant I might lose something. And she said, you have to have something on the line for it to be called a character. And I was like, that was really good. Really a good point to still help. If someone's going to beat you or be better than you at something, but you can still help them, it's not bad to help someone up, even if they're on your same level, if there's something you can help them with. Yeah. Yeah, I like that, though. There has to be something on the line for it to be a character. It's like there has to be a potential loss to yourself. Otherwise, it's just like you feel like you're adding another badge. Totally. That was good. I remember that, too, when she started saying that. And then one other one that I was just like, I like the way she worded it was, and this is why, small as they were, Jones' choices had added up to something magnificent. In the changing of seasons in the past four years, Jones had found it all. I just thought that was cool talking about how the changing of the seasons in a year, like so much happens in a year. And if you just think you went through all four seasons and something different happened to you're now the person you are this year, I don't know. I just thought about it that way. That is sweet. I like those quotes. I think those are really good. As an author, I feel like all of her books kind of feel this way where they're emotional. And I like books that are emotional. I think they just help me remember them more. And then also, there's some meat to the story. And I think that a lot of it, the times it comes from the context and the time in history or the specific setting, is very memorable for me. Because I think because I do read a decent amount of books, some of them are like, that was just forgettable. And so I like that this one was like, it impacted me. Yeah. Actually, to your point, I didn't know I'm thinking about that quote you just said. That's a disregard. No, yeah. I'm going back to that. You do see her change a lot. Like her character changes and develops a ton. Like everything about her, but towards the end, where she becomes a mom. You know, it's like in her goal, like her career's goals change, like everything changes. And so that is interesting. Not hearing that quote, I'm like, wow, it just did run true. And how much she did change. Making me think too, how all of the chapters are not all of it. But they're all marked by seasons. It says all of this year or spring of this year. If you think back to the book being marked by that, I did think it was really sweet. Her loving her niece so much. I was just like, I was thinking about it. I'm like, Breils niece, Breils aunts love her so much. That's never going to happen because I'm a great mom. But yeah. Oh my gosh. It wasn't Beatrice. Yeah. It was the mom. That reading about her mom, I was like, what an easy, not an easy, but I'm like, we kind of like, I met people like that. You know what I mean? That just like make everything about themselves and like cannot see outside of their own point of view. And then seeing that as like a mother to a child relationship was really like so crazy. And I think she did a really good job of developing that storyline. And even just like seeing how her sister, Joan, made excuses for her sister. And it's like, always wanted to see the best in her sister, but then her sister just like continuously never showed any redeeming quality. And then it got to a point where it's like, oh my gosh. You know, I don't know. That was just really hard to see that. And I was very invested in that storyline of the book. I wasn't messing in that storyline actually. Yeah. Yeah, she did a good job writing that. I think it helped. It was like, I don't know, as a reader, I was like, wow, that's just so, she made it very clear. I don't know. It was just good. You kind of saw it slowly with her. Like, where you almost, I think it's like you're kind of slightly in Joan's head, like how you're perceiving these things where it was like, okay, like she wasn't planning on having a baby then. And like these things are happening to her. And then it gets to a point like where you really like, that's where I think it was so artful the way that she did it. Like you reached the same realization that Joan does as Joan realizes it. Where you're like, I can't, you cannot excuse this away anymore. Right. Like she's a selfish person. Right. And so, yeah, I think it was really well done. Yeah. Honestly. Yeah. And I think that, I would read more by this author. Yeah. Maybe you want to finish Daisy Jones in the six. You need to read Daisy Jones in the six. I'm like a third of the way through it. I don't know why I can't get into it. Ah, I'm so excited. You can't get into it. I'm just not into it. What did I read this book? I read it a four. Okay. Yeah. I read it a two. A two. That's crazy. I was not picking it up. And that's kind of how I, I gauge. Like, am I picking it up or am I scrolling? And I was scrolling. Maybe I'll give it a three because I really didn't read it every day. That's psycho. You can't give it a four. You can't even read the whole thing. I mean, I can't rate this one because I didn't really, I mean, I read it, but I didn't read it. Hey, you seem to retain some things. I retained a lot. I told you, I was invested in what I was invested in. You know what I mean? I read it. I read it. I thought it was, and to me, like I skimmed it and I felt like I got the whole book. Okay. You know what I mean? And I think that is like, she was a great writer because I felt like, you know, I still got it. Next month's book club. Are you ready to move on to that one? Yeah, let's do it. I'm really excited about this one. I have had this book pre-ordered since maybe a year. I don't know, whenever it was available, but Hailey Pham is another creator. She released her first book ever called Just Friends. So cool. I've heard a lot about it just from, I partake in book talk on YouTube because I don't have to take talk. I watch full length videos of people reading books. Do they just read them out loud? No, no, no. They're just saying they're reading them and they like talk about it. And then they like, there's a lot of categories and it's a whole niche, actually. That's not that crazy because I feel like guys that was watching big people play video games and talk about it, it's just like the girl version of that. They literally watch streams of other people. Yeah, so I don't think it's weird. Okay, it's niche for sure. It's niche, but not. I find myself, I'm like, I'm a small audience. Yeah. I'm a part of a small audience. I'm part of a dedicated community. But no, more than that, I mean, I shouldn't say that. A lot of people are talking about her book and I'm really excited to support another creator and also just like, I'm excited about this book. I've been invested in her whole process of writing it. Documented a lot of it on YouTube. So Just Friends by Hailey Pham will be our April. April. April book picker. I'm like, what's the month? And so this should be a great, I think it's like, it takes place in like a sunny seaside. Fun. Like it's a very settings heavy book, which I'm like, that feels fun for April and very appropriate for spring. Yes, I can't wait. Cute. Okay, so read that one if you wanna join in for next month's book talk episode. Are we calling this just book club? Always reading. Always reading. All right, I don't know. I thought everything needs to be always blank. Always hungry. It must have been the theme, Abby. Okay, what's your recipe for this week? For always hungry. Always hungry. My recipe is beef and broccoli. This is a real, you don't like that? Not the best. Okay, this is good. I like it when you make it. Have I made it for you before? You have. It's okay if you didn't like it. No, I did. You did. Well, it's really easy. And that's why I like it. It just has like a weeknight meal. That's why I just started thinking of Chinese food. I actually don't, no hate to the fellow Chinese listeners. Love Chinese people. I don't love Chinese food. That's what I was saying. I don't like the takeout beef and broccoli. Yeah, I don't either. This doesn't taste like takeout beef and broccoli. It doesn't taste like, yeah, I agree. And it's so simple. It's three, I mean, it's three main ingredients, beef, broccoli, and rice. And then you have your sauces that you mix up, which is mostly just soy sauce, sesame oil. It's so easy. It's ground beef, huh? That's why I like it. Yeah, it's just so easy and fast. And it's actually a 30 minute meal. Like some people say that and it's not. This is actually a 30 minute meal. So I'll link it. I make it a month a week, at least in our house. At most, not at least. What carb do you have with it? Are you doing? I just do rice. Oh yeah, perfect. Mine is not a dinner option. I'm actually just been really craving this. Strawberry shortcake, I make this like always like in June for the past few years. Really? With those homemade biscuits. Oh, can you please make that again? I know. You remember it now? Yeah, how do I forget? I would say this isn't necessarily like a beginner recipe, but you'd be surprised. It's not too hard. You make, I would say this is like the Southern style. That's so good, but you made that. It's so good. It's so good. I would say it's like the Southern style of strawberry shortcake, where you make actual like homemade biscuits, and then bake them in a buttered cast iron, and then you make the strawberry filling with real strawberries, and then make the whipped cream, and make it like a little stacked layered sandwich. Have I made this for you before? Yeah, you made it for your mom's birthday. Okay, I feel like this is the greatest way to welcome in spring, summer. It's so delightful. And you will feel like a chef when you do it, because it is a little bit, it's a little extra, but it's actually pretty easy, and the recipe makes it very easy too, and it's so delightful. I'll make it on Sunday. Yes, please, please. Or Saturday, let's do it. What Saturday? Our extended family's in town. Let's do it for Saturday. Yeah, that would be fun. Then save some for me. And save some for Addy. Well, make you supposed to save, well, I don't know Addy, sorry, it's New Zealand's. It really doesn't save, well, actually. Make more for Sunday. I'll make more on Sunday, double it up. So yeah, I really love that recipe. And yeah, I feel like, wow, that was a lot for one episode. What a, really, that's so funny, because halfway through I was like, we're barely talking. And now it's to the end, we're like, wow, that was, we filled it up. We filled it up, you guys. In closing. In closing. Let me open my iPad for closing now. We are really grateful to those of you that are members of this community. And we're just excited to continue to grow this and foster community with you guys. And really especially thankful to those of you that leave reviews. You have a special place in our heart. And especially to this member that has numbers only for their username, so I cannot say it, but it's, they gave us five stars. It says, my weekly girl time, I look forward to this show every week. I listen in with my kids in the backseat. And my two year old loves hearing the kids intro for the, whoa, that's crazy segment, that's cute. This show is fun, relatable, and I love the community that's being created with Ask Abbey's, Always Eating, and the Book Club. Oh, sweet. We're glad that you guys feel that way. Cause that's, we want to, that's the goal. It's fun for us. It's so fun for us, yeah. And so that's the goal. We're glad you guys are enjoying it. So please leave a review, like, comment, subscribe, share, heart. All the things. Download, do all the things. And also if you would like to call in and leave a voicemail, actually we are going to do a very heavy voicemail episode. So lock us in, give us a ton of voicemails. That number is, can you repeat it? It is 602-456-9690. And it's also in our Instagram bio too. If you can't find it, follow us on Instagram and TikTok. Subscribe on YouTube, so you never have to miss any of the updates. And stay tuned for upcoming live events in the local Phoenix area. Yes. Awesome, and remember, we're always here. It's hard to concentrate when you're worried about your health. It can feel like there's a wall between you and the rest of the world. Like you can't be fully present. Hello, AXA Health. How can I help? At AXA Health Insurance, we build our teams with people who care. So when you need us, we're here to support you. 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