Ep 612 - Night Gator (feat. Charles Blyzniuk)

Wow, wow, wow. West. I'm loving them. I've come around. Yeah. I was against incest. I thought it was for. Oh, yeah. I thought it was for slots and minorities. You said incest. You said incest. Incest. I was against incest. Hey, still on the record. Now I'm for it. You're on the right side. Yeah. Stay on the right video. Incest. Slots. Slots and minorities. I thought incense was for slots and minorities. That's so funny. Now I know I can enjoy it as well. There you go. Slots and minorities. I literally brought in, I'll give them to you. You brought some incense? I brought, yeah, I brought the incense sticks. Let's come be going. My wife hates it. I got to use it in my office. Oh, you'll like it. Oh, interesting. Hold on to the theory. Hates incense. She's type A though. Incense, if you're type A, incense is not for you. It's not for me. She's type A. It's for dopers. It's for type B slots and minorities. That's true. Yeah. People who have to wait until the thing burns entirely. I've never gone into a white guy's house with it. So there's incense unless. Sweep. Yeah. Say that's a dope. It's a dope or thing. Dope or thing for sure. Dope or thing Muslims oil. They go direct to the body. The oil is roll on. Yeah. I might get into Muslim oils, honestly. That's a nice, a quiet level up your fly. You're selling at the mothership. Poppy, Poppy. That might be my merch table. Muslim oils. I'll come out after a show and be like my friend. Oh, let me see her. Oh, my friend. BB. It smells so good. That'd be nice. I'd be nice to get like a for the merch table, having a slice of like an Indian city where it's just clamored. You come walking out. It's just like you come out to like a New Delhi street where it's just clamoring. You sharpen people. People are grabbing you by the wrist. Like come with me. Come here. My friend, please. Like towards the pyramids. All kinds of crazy shit. That video pissed me off so much yesterday. Yeah. Keep laughing. You guys in a whole grinding plastic up. For fucking 12 hours a day for the rest of the lives. They're like, is it boring? The guy's like, no. Yeah. I love this shit. Yeah. You're literally sitting on your heels for 12 hours grinding plastic. That was crazy. I want to know who's the fat cat that buys up all that plastic. That cat was the guy with the computer. Oh, yeah. True. Yeah. He makes like a manager. But even transcends the world. If you're the manager, no matter where you are, you are getting a button down khakis. Gel hair, fat ass. Yeah, man. It's crazy. The pleated khakis are for the managerial class, man. He did it. Every manager I've ever worked on a fat ass, bro. Juicy ass on this. Yes. Tic-tac. Yes. No matter woman or man. You can be a man. If you're a man, you start eventually, you start like trans-ing into a woman's figure. It's crazy. It is a full feminine figure. It's crazy, dude. Because I think it is a very feminine job. The manager, yeah. I'm going to be like, did you do that? Well, I don't want to have to do this. I don't want to have to talk to you again, but I will tell you if you don't get that done. You fucking bitch. Supporting to a guy above you. It's just a little bitch. I'd rather be minion than manager. I either want to be minion or boss. I don't want to be manager. Manager sucks. Minion rules. If you're the lowest guy at the job. Yeah, I do like minion. That's all I've ever done. You know what? Rules. That's because you're working for the boss. Yeah, true. And you're like, the manager's a fucking bitch. Yeah. He's got a nice butt. But he sucks. But he does have a nice ass. The boss loves his minions. I've seen that on display so many times. I swear to God, the boss, the minions are like the closest, the managers, dude. And anytime someone becomes manager, every minion's like, you fuck that guy. Who's a minion, dude? Fuck that guy. That's when they transform. Yeah, true. So it's not going, nobody likes me. Everyone's against me. I'm going to tell on you. You guys have been mean to me since I started this. I did like, when I worked for an electrician, it was my friend's uncle. And I was a, I got a lot of hate because I was a prized minion. I got to drive him around every day. It was awesome. I would just, I was like his chauffeur, basically. And every now and again, he'd be like, yo, you want to go pop up on him, see what they're doing? And he would do like walk-ups on jobs. Dude, you would catch the minions and be like laying down and fucking around. He'd be like, what the fuck are you guys doing? We're just chilling for a second. Dude, it's the best. You could do it outside. No, they are totally unbothered. The minions is working on the street right now. I mean, they lay, they lay under the tree. Every time I'm out there, there's 10 guys taking a nap in my front yard. But if you ran up and I'm like, what are you doing? They would go, whoa. I don't think these are strong. They're strong lads for sure. But if you catch a lad on a nap outside and a white guy just walk up on him, hey, they're going to go, they're going to assume it's time to boogie. I would have to put on pleated khaki. I walk out like this. There's a blue t-shirt. There's a fucking minion talking to me. It's a white minion, the lowest form of minion. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Kaki's belt clip phone. Yeah. You got to roll by. Yeah. You got to get out of the fucking pants. Just, you have not bought new pants, but you gained 40 pounds just in your ass and hips. You are a manager. It's crazy. It's wild. Yeah. We think you get a BBL just to move up. Yo. Move up the camera ladder. You got a BBL, your boss would start noticing me. This guy's got the makings of a true manager. Yeah. I'm going to go to a plastic surgeon and be like, I just want to look like a Dairy Queen manager. Let me see. I need to parachute me up. You need a big boy. Dude, I was, me and Blizzard having a laugh about a, I should even talk about it. I'm here. I'm here. This episode is brought to you by PrizePix. The regular season's done and the NBA playoffs are here. Time to get in on the action with PrizePix, a preferred partner of the NBA. NBA. And space B, space A. Download the PrizePix app today and use code DRENCH to get $50 in lineups after you play your first $5 lineup. And during the playoffs, during the playoffs, make a $5 lineup with a live NBA pick for a shot at the do it live sweepstakes trip to the NBA finals. That's a rough one, man. Whoa. That's a tough one, man. Whoa. More info can be found on the PrizePix promos board. PrizePix, a preferred partner of the NBA. He likes. I'll give it. Yeah. Supervision Kink is nice. I actually don't. Yeah. When I was a girl and parents and then you get to go, bro, it's just you and me in the room tonight. The parents are gone. When I, yeah, see everyone just. He's very private, man. I shouldn't have said that. I said, oh my God, shit. I forgot when I was texting you about it because he was making me laugh. I was like, I was making me laugh, but I'm actually excited by it. Kind of like it. I'm also. It's nice. It's, it's exciting if you stay with, you know. Relatives. Yeah. You stay with like relatives. Family or your family. Yeah. Quiet sex. Oh my. This is great. Normally she'd be screaming from what I was like. But now we have to be quiet. So there's no pressure on me for this dead silence. Now I scream. Mom. Dad wake up. Fuck. Dad, I'm coming. Punching. Mom, can I have a glass of water? I'm really thirsty. Mom, I've been crashing pussy for 14 minutes. Really thirsty. That's a good one. Fourteen is solid, bro. I'm on, I'm back on my no porn. No, not even fast. It's not even, I'm not even trying to. I'm just being like, I'm just not interested in the porn. I'm interested in fapping. And I'm coming up on that ovulation cycle. So I'm like, yo, it's about to be on. You're about to. We were just game. We were, we were game planning. She's like, she actually said this to me this morning. She said, I'm going to be on the phone. I'm going to be on the phone. She's like, she actually said this to me this morning. She's like, I know you like a head job before that way you last longer. And I'm like, bro, I'm down for whatever. I'm down for whatever. Otherwise you wait, wait, wait. And then it's like, it's the juiciest ever. It's a quick talk. It's a quick talk. It's true. Yeah. So I'm about to. I'm a big fan of a quick talk. I don't give a fuck about you at all. That was fucking wonderful. Now I'm tired. I got to stay. I want to stay up in it for a minute, bro. Yeah. Give me a couple of minutes. It's nice, but then it starts getting a little too long. You go, fuck, I'm so tired. I'm getting too tired to even fucking do it now. I've been playing it. When you're, when you're planking, I've been planking regularly. I'm excited to show off. There's no other way to show that. Celebrating a touchdown. That's crazy. Do you ever see the guy on Tik Tok who goes like this and goes, and then like does different arm movements? No, maybe there's a guy. You're going to talk about. There's a viral. Straight up in the air. There's a viral trend of like divorce, fifth year old guys. Want to show women how sick they are in terms of like fucking. Yeah. So they do a thing where they go like this, dip the pelvis, pop, lift one arm, lift one arm. It's just them like up and down. They'll do it like a seven, 11 isle. It's so funny. Oh, I've actually, okay, I have seen that. I thought you were talking about the guys who put the camera here. Like you're fucking them. You see that one? It's great. They lay a camera down. Oh, no. Again, 50 year old, 40 year old divorce guys. I saw a woman of the guy starts by going. Oh, no. No. It's so funny. But I really send it to Gabe Davis and Billy. Gabe and Billy are getting those. And then you look at the comments and it's literally like 40 year old women like across the country. I love this. I get so sad when I see women. I just guys. Did you see the one I say with the guys, his tongues going like, crazy. It's like, you just said that recently. I got to check it out. I haven't seen the Gram. He's, but he's just showing him. He's showing him. He's got a crazy tongue game. He's just. Let me see. Let me see. Yo, what? No. No. Why'd you have a towel on his head? He's sweating under that. Goatee for the goat. He's like, I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. Goatee for the goats. Oh no. Oh my God. I didn't know that was a thing. I've been a 47 years old. Eight inch. Oh okay. Eight inches thick. Yeah. Yeah. I like how that guy's coming back. Yeah. I like how people are impersonating him in gas stations. Yeah. Yeah. That's nice. My daughter just died last year. She killed herself. Eight years old. She was faster than me. Yeah. Yeah, it's fun. I had a I don't know why this tickled me the other day and I've done this on accident before But I was thinking about that I don't know if you ever done the nightgater to a woman when you take a dump before bedtime You forget to flush it and all night she's getting up and she takes her little peas. It doesn't know the gators lurking Until the morning time and she confronts the gator goes. Oh my god I was reading a good book I forgot the flush I left the night I left the nightgater If you're there long enough you might forget sometimes I'm reading I'm always there long I forgot dude I forgot if I get to if I'm like deep in my phone or in like a book I'll like I'll just get up and if something happens like oh, let me go You know a kid might wake up. I'll run it. I'm terrified of the nightgater, bro Like if a girl is with me, I'm like, holy shit did I forget to flush I think there's a turd in the hope They don't even know it's under them all night Repeat on the gator all night. He's head out underneath the toilet paper and just wait I was I was left the gator on her the other night. I don't also. Oh shit. You know back How to put the gator down That's not your alarm. It's actually not the morning yet Nothing sours women's mood first thing in the morning the confronting the gator first just in the morning the twilight The lady a lady leave a little road rash Nothing pisses me off more than see the ladies fucking road rash. It's not taking giant shit clean that I don't see that Damn, yeah Tie your mocks I had a fucked up I had gas last night and I was just Satting them off. I literally woke up at one point I did like a complete like a a fart that if you videoed it would have maybe got a million views on it It was so loud so long and so powerful. I did it my sleep then woke up to my wife like And I felt the velocity and I was like, yeah, I'm sorry about that. That's really bad. It was real like Your ordering would track that I know Put it be whole or ring for the be whole how many farts a day How you can feel me test where or be like your brother your blood pressure spiked hardest shit for one second Just me He's gonna nap it's like you get a message like let it out brother I'm tracking her our ring. She's in a deep sleep. You're safe to fart. Yeah. Oh, that's nice Yeah, you can like you link them up. Yeah, I have a thing holding them in man. It's gotta be bad for you Probably it's got there's no way what the fuck happens to it Well, it's just I mean immediately. It's just discomfort. You know, it's discomfort It's like where does it go you far? I've dude. There's not a lot of science on farts at all I'm thrilled. I wanted like the encyclopedia on farts. I searched for it All I found was that book I showed you guys about a guy wrote about almost how he almost shit himself a bunch of times It's the book he actually thanked us that book did really well. It's awesome. Yeah, you might I mean you just step into that Step into that hole. I Get it. I guess I gotta find someone I can start studying I bug professors every now and again like to do stuff. Yeah, come on Outside and get one of these guys who's work on the road Get a fart shaman Take me into the tent with them I'll be riding in your steamroller with you all day I Great just to be like fart. How do you find that? I want to get I want to gas up so hard and then hit like an ayahuasca ceremony People would have like life altering Bird just came back amazing the rent. Oh, yeah, just people in there like And then you're yeah, the white you wear like the all-white Tall tee extra tall tee. Oh Yeah, that's a I've said it before those ayahuasca ceremonies kind of freaked me out man a lot of people who do that They go and do it like 50 more times and you're like, yeah, they go to it. What's good? Right 50. I know it's a lot. I feel like It aren't you supposed to do it like a Couple time if you'd actually get into it I would think if you did something that crazy you wouldn't do it 50 more times totally. Yeah, I think I'm gonna do it No, I don't know. I'll say that stuff for like when I'm dying. That's gonna be fired out You know, although that might blow dick. I mean you're dying with the fuck Yeah, no, and then you're gonna really realize it's probably gonna be really scary. Yeah, true You could either accept it or it's gonna be fucking horrific. Yeah, I don't know I don't know. I mean, but then it's like I'm kind of terrified like just dying in sweatpants watching TV is like fucking scary, too That's coming Comes for us all yeah, dude the wasca dude, so at least you'll be like, oh, whoa, you know, oh shit. I'm gonna die in sweatpants I Remember when I went to South America just to know that I was gonna Yeah, remember I had to go with my dad my dad's friend was dying he like send us all I'd like go hang with him We just I've literally just swept he actually would do tidy whities. He was just wasting dude away Oh, yeah, like a some sort of cancer and he we just watch Westerns with him. He would sit there and be like The whole time he was the dude fucking rules. I mean, yeah He went out like a man dude just Westerns in his tiny bodies till the last day Yeah, we me and my brother make him weed coconut oil. Just like bring it to him. That's nice I'd have to go make some of that shit. Well, you make Frank He was Monch you were just fucking Monch weed coconut oil watch Clint Eastwood do his thing Final days. I like that's a man. Yeah, that's a good way to go. That's a sick way to go doesn't even bother to put pants on Yeah, no, no, dude It was awesome damn it was scary the first time went to his house when he like peeked through the blinds like Yeah, looks like What's it called the guy from the first season true detective? I I'm still thinking about the wow. Wow I just think I would just personally getting kidnapped as an adult is really funny I had another loose relative that was involved in a pizza guy Strong arm robbery plot who got it right eventually caught he was the Batman. He would wheel the bad Not a moose a roll up and one of these dude I know it's have the bat the Louisville ready Like give me all your money on you right and the saw of course They had a nice little thing going and they got busted eventually. They kept bonking the drivers. You're bonking They were there threatening the bomb. I don't think they ever barked They're gonna yabba-dabba do the driver Such as that's a sick hustle What you held a club point I was on a club point. Hey, man, I was a prehistoric. That's a primal fear dude It was crazy. I'll be honest the club point. I was just kind of like guys I'll leave like you don't have to also that's a shitty squad if they're robbing people with clubs Yeah, you guys are definitely gonna do it you guys will do it Oh It's like there's like six of you I mean you guys can just beat my ass to be worse of all six of you beat right ass There's just six guys and one guy of the club like we'll fucking bash your brain in Out my home my house was literally like two blocks away. I was like nice walk home guys. I'm done. It's like a t-ball today's not my dad Yeah, yeah, that's suck that's suck though just sitting in West Philly for like an hour by myself and a really bad neighborhood being like Should be coming back with these percussets. I really just like a street fighter level though Dragons just walk out like a shitty town a guy with a six bad guys with sleeveless I need one of my friends to send back to back to me and do a spin kick But yeah, that was a that's not the one time I remember I took way too much mushrooms in college and I like walked into like a really fucked up area West Philly to get out Of my house and just seeing like the dilapidated houses and it was I was like It was it was a lot Yes, it's really scary. It's really menacing scary. So a West Philly bull so in West Philly it still looks Dangerous I'm gonna where else is no Someone's the last time you were victimized was it just the bike theft? It's the bike theft. How did the bike? Was that a he came up on one bike came up on the city bike. Oh, it was the city bike Yeah, or like whatever the Philly yeah, yeah, come up on the city bike and like Got you on the bone. It was like It was black beard yeah, it's really black bears Yeah, and then uh He pulled up on you snagged on me took the bike. He just like grab it real quick Yeah, no, he was like he first started trying to ask me like how much he was like how much did you pay for the bike? And I was like, I gotta go. Yeah, I was like, I'm not gonna. He's just doing like Kelly blue books for bikes For you Zero That was a nice thing after after he took my bike he had a city bike he pointed the city bike and he was like, you know that one Well, I can't have that one. That's nice That's that was kind of chill of them. They're big. Yeah It was it was like thoughtful enough to be like You got wheels still yeah Yeah, yeah, don't don't get down yourself. You still have wheels for a little bit, right? There was a guy Look, I didn't get nothing happened But there was a guy last night that was like really power walking in my direction. What where were you true? I was walking on Congress Avenue For like a while You come here Northfilly, Westfilly, Austin, you're gonna be getting chased by pirates Pirates down here. I'm gonna chase you this guy was like one of the he was like the Remember those two guys from parts of the Caribbean who are like trying to trick He was like he was so dirty and shirtless He was coming for you. He was coming for you. He was coming for everybody He was just like and I just happened to have like headphones in and just You know surprise took off popped up on me. Oh, no, but He had other stuff to do. Yeah He like he got by me quick. I was like a temporary stop. Yeah, I am I've been watching too I've been I watch this one guy's videos where it's just they all start with him being like He hit someone like ten times He did one where he took a key and like hit a metal plate Someone kind of popped up on me the other day. I'm like yeah, I was like dude. Is this my chance? Would you hear him at the John Wick combo just I was going to buddy He didn't fucking he just kept moving and he awesome to hit a homeless guy with a fucking ten punch Only that guy I'm gonna wear the helmet let that guy demonstrate on me. You might have on the bum first. Yeah, that'd be nice Yeah If it was the guy sleeping in front of a quinta Were you watching this no the guy who's asleep it was like You know the quinta Yeah, it was like downtown. Yeah, yeah, but isn't it right next to the State in that the other day like dude my hotel sucks. I'm in the lock queen to quinta and I'm like oh, yeah, dude That thing's like hell. Yeah, it's worse. It's good for the alphabet game on the road though I will say it's big for that. You're just the only Q on the road For real Dairy Queens The X is just where it's at. That's the most impossible. It's tough. Yeah, I feel like a lot of vape shops have helped with the X It's not exactly right express. Yeah, true porn strip clubs. Yeah Yeah X for smokers world and then like Arabic letters. Yeah. Yeah, you charge translate them. I'm pretty sure it's a muscle max Yeah, man, that's I started my day I started my day today actually Just game planning like if I was at the park and like they've some like weirdo guy I was like hitting like fucking with the kids. Mm-hmm. How hard did I go on them? It's like dude, you would fucking love so bad. I do that all the time Yeah, this game plan like dude, I would fucking head on it if you got your ass be by the pedophile Thought about it before but I it's like you can't you can't you just have to go you have to go honorably Obviously you have to go into battle But if you get vanquished by a pedophile in the park and then he gets the kids I'm going well. I if I started losing I would fight I would go for privates. I would fight dirty You'd love I would try to written after his world if I monkey-clawed him On the ground now I went he'd look down and get me a now you're my world You just touched man's penis at the park. You're one of us Then you join forces you go Yeah, it's like a double cross. Yeah, I actually brought a cat. I have to go to my wife like you have till sundown to destroy me Do you think there's Peds who are watching these like pedophile hunter videos who are like training to be like I can't get foiled Yeah, and they're like just getting buff true. That's nice. They probably running drills in the supermarket They have like a drill It's got a 20-second shuttle this guy's gonna be a great pedophile It's gonna fly out of that Walgreens They probably rewatch the beginning of Aladdin when like they steal the apple. Yes, how they like get through there Yes, yeah, like build like a two scale serial aisle. Yeah in his house Yeah, they got to start training. They should start training like Navy SEALs like just a complete replicate Walgreens in a warehouse That would be a good prank where you have one of those pedophile hunters you like collab with them But the pedophiles not even a pedophile You know those like small jiu-jitsu guys who are like nasty as fuck Yeah, so he doesn't look that imposing but they go to get him the guy just pedophile fake pedophile just folds up the dude Yeah, you get to be like what the fuck dude pedophiles be about be your ass. I was being your fucking ass But then his boy his boy would come with the pumpkin from behind Pumpkin if I was a pedophile give up the game, dude. I was the pumpkin is the scariest way to go Pumpkin yeah, that's terrifying I'd rather be caught and known as a pedophile than known as getting killed by a pumpkin Pumpkin on the internet. Oh Yeah, you cannot yeah October to December you cannot fuck kids Because it's Gord season and you can't get it Gabby's pumpkin ranks, dude. It'd be terrible. Yeah thrown in the air The Al you pumpkin Truly, yeah, they like it's like an assist they like pick and roll I saw the one where the a pedophile got thrown into the air the people but yeah Yeah, man, that is rough stuff I Mean there's God. I mean, I don't know man. It's like those guys are training But we're talking so I I think it's funny what they're up to Just if you if they got the wrong guy once and they threw him in the air and punched him and call And it was just a guy that was like getting tampons for his daughter. Yeah He's just a math teacher. They're like the most at risk for getting a you know, yeah, they look like pedophiles Yeah, most math teachers do happen to look like pedophiles. It's true. You gotta be careful if you're math if you're a mathematician Watch out. Yeah, true 75 It's like they That teacher who shows off like his outfits on Instagram. I don't I don't know. Yeah guys He might be like any of that. I don't like it either when hot girls do it and hot girls do it There's hot girl teachers that are like check out my outfit for today. What you go. You're gonna fuck one of these kids Yeah, they're staying a low grade. Yeah for real you get in high school. Yeah, get you my god, man Captain of the football team Man I'm pumped on this bird feeder Though struggling to set it up right now. Did it charge I was trying to connect it. Yeah, yes I'm fucking I couldn't be more stoked. I spent the morning. I got a kumquat tree I got kumquats Climes and an avocado tree. It's nice. I got peach and lemon coming out of a car. I don't see it Bro, I can't wait. Yeah, yeah, I'm gonna have a car to tree. I won't probably yield anything Maybe this winter I'll get a couple get a couple there a Mexican avocado So they're hardy to the cold. There's a cold snap of fuck your avocado tree up with these things They can take they can take a little cold. Cool sub-23 Careful, I got my pots and remove them in no problem But I spent the whole morning getting these things and like I thought it was like 9 a.m. Britney's like dude It's 11 you gotta leave Yeah, I need a shower. I'm covered in fucking dirt. I bet I saw that. Yeah, sorry about that. That makes sense Sorry about that. Yeah, I'm pretty dirty right now. I don't care at all that I was time to shower I just saw it on your ankles. I was like, what's he's been doing? You're on the field. He's refueled plant fruit He doesn't feel it's awesome. Remember the bad bunny Super Bowl halftime show. Yeah, I'm the guy That's great, I saw that I was like, yeah, it's me basically It's just for me. He did this for me. Yeah, he did that video for me. True finally some representation Super Bowl halftime show. Yeah, every nice my last representation was the old rappers. That was awesome That was a good representation. That was good. That was awesome. 50 was a little little big The desensitant a little quiet. Yeah, he was like, right I mean, he's obviously still doing the same but he was like he was the dude for a good like two month run where he did The right thing though. He went away for a little while. Yeah. Yeah, he chilled. That's the yeah What is he cooking up? Who's next didn't he say LeBron? No, didn't he post something about LeBron? Man nobody safe if he gets LeBron, that's wild. Yeah, that would be that's just what it's looking it up right now Cuz Nate loves LeBron LeBron might be the Zest Lord. He might be the Zest Lord. I used to hate LeBron, but now he's he's too undeniable This happens. Yeah, he's always a Tom Brady and then It gets to a point where you're like, well, this is awesome. Yeah, kind of the best Yeah for a few and if you hate greatness, you just hate her Matt, please read the highlighted lines verbatim and now it's time for this weekend dog history presented by aura frames So they got a little thing here. This is nice. You know some memories are just waiting to make you laugh years later Oh, yeah, that's exactly what a work frames do Uh-huh. I take the moments that matter and turn them into something you can actually see every day Oh, yeah, you know, it's a you know, what's overflowing with hilarious moments waiting to be revisited There's by gas Let's take a walk down Mary Lane. Shall we? What's the strangest recording setup we've ever had? Oh Strangers recording set up you never had like a buzz in it. It's okay Oh Wild moment that becomes a story you always tell what's a while my wife came to laser tag and she was mad at me Yeah, I love telling that story. I'll always tell that story. What's happening in the photo? That is the photo is just two good friends. Yeah at a golf event. Yeah, we were out and we took a picture together I was a little boy Took a picture of my two heroes. 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Thank you, Arar Dude, I went down a Pat Tillman hole 50 thread in the brown rocks, bro It was all you know he he got an offer to leave the Cardinals before he Sign up to be in the military and they're gonna pay him like a bunch of money whoever had won the Super Bowl I guess like after the first year he played it was like, yeah We're gonna give you a ton of money come to our team like championship team might do it again What it's what does Tillman do? No bro. Cardinals picked me. I was low. I was low around the draft They took a chance on me. I'm staying with the Cardinals went to war It was it was in he was such a beast they offered to get him out of the military He did one year tour and they're like, yo man, we like set it up with the government. You're free to come home now He goes, bro, it's a slap in my fucking face. He'd even offer me that such an animal dude is the fucking man I didn't they friendly fire. Yeah friendly fired and there was there was a Fuck what was it an Afghani soldier that apparently like loved him that like ran up the hill with him because his little brother Was serving with him too. So his little brother was under fire So he like ran up the hill and then Afghani soldier ran up as well. He got killed no one talked about that guy But yeah, he ran up there too. He got he got hit a bunch of times and apparently they invented a story about a woman soldier Getting raped. That's the statue. Yeah, is that the statue? Well, that's the picture that they use for the statue Statues fucking tight. You ever see it? No, they put it in the Tillman fucking Arizona. Yeah, yeah Yeah, the Pat Tillman is it's he's a fun the Pat Tillman fun started Because people just started sending all this money to the Arizona Cardinals being like this is for Pat Tillman They got like a million bucks and they called his family. Yeah, we have a million dollars for you guys What the fuck should we do with this? Yeah, he's like we'll just set up the fund They send like soldiers to school or like the masters agrees and stuff. Yeah, Pat Tillman true American hero Yeah, I interviewed John crack hour recently. That's right. And I got a damn wrote a book on Tillman Yeah, we got to talk Tillman speaking of another Yo, yeah, dude, yeah, it's so fucking sick legend and it's an absolute leggy Yeah, dude, I interviewed John crack hour like two days ago He has we climb Mount Everest and like there was a disaster all these guys died he survived wrote a book and it's like a huge book and Dude, he has a guy on his ass. There's a youtuber anti John crack hour youtuber, which is like dude climbs Everest What's your beef? This guy's like he there's all these different faces of Everest this other guy climbed a different face of Everest and He's just going through all of crack hours book being like cap cap None of this happened like and the dude like is blowing up crack hour had a fire back about it Dude, I was I was telling him like dude. I know this guy's like really a pain in your ass But it was nothing that delighted me more than to see you have a fucking I just never would expect to see that you having a guy being like bullshit The Sherpas don't drop rope lines on that past the mountain Get out of here. I know I guess it's just like every Every creative or any pursuit Now yeah who goes on YouTube and is annoying because his book did so well that another climber wrote a book After that and has had a kind of be like yo fucking It's so funny what was his book called he did into the wild and that was the guy who just like walked off and died Into thin air that was the other one. I got both of those. Do you really yeah, dude He rules they did the Pat Tillman book where men get glory and then he did he did a book about that's sick Yeah, it's pretty tiny did a yeah did a book about Mormons like polygamist militant Mormons. So yeah Yeah, he's a dude's a man. He's retired now. He's no more. He just lives in Boulder stays at altitude. I'm so I'm so jealous of people Does it work out whenever I'm like if I go to like Denver anywhere like that's like 5,000 feet I do like one workout and I come back and I'm like, dude, I'm definitely altered. This is crazy I have like five beers and I go Shit I'm wasted out the dudes nuts. Yeah, would it be nasty when I go home and get dry skin and a bloody nose This sucks. I'm dying my body's dying dude. I'm like a snake. It I my skin just cracks Yeah, it's crazy. Yeah, I didn't know when you climb Everest So you go to base camp for two weeks you acclimate I thought you just like roll up and climb the fucking mountain No, you climb a little bit come back down Climb a little more come back. So you're like constantly getting acclimated to high and higher parts The first face of Everest that you climb from where he did is just a giant sheet of ice that slowly can shift and start moving And every now and again, it'll just stand up and just I can just like the size of a house Just squash you He was a 600 person to climb. I'm just giving away the whole thing when he was the 600 person to climb Everest or like 637 He was so scary. It was like so fucked up He like wrote that book hoping to scare people away from trying to do it 30 years later I guess so many people have climbed Mount Everest. How many dude like 25,000 people. Yeah, his book did the opposite Everyone's like, dude, I he says he goes to signings people look at him. They go you climbed Everest I could fucking do that. I've seen damn. I just watched a documentary on it And there's just a line of people now. It's just complete hundreds of people in it. Yeah But if one of those glacial kind of deposit things falls now that it's so crowded it's just going to squash like Yeah, he said now the Sherpas are like, dude, this is the best thing that ever happened Oh, yeah, they probably get lines of dudes just going up there make a ton of money Yeah, selfie wall at the Mount Everest There is I watched the chinese guy fall off recently Yeah, really slid right off taking a selfie. Yeah, but people still die dude like a lot of people still die climbing Everest That's a slowly slid off everyone just watches them slide away. Do you dog fuck your toast? Yeah, if you don't get those you need those oxygen tanks and you get up super high And if like if you're out of tanks, you just suffocate. You talk about what's that? What's what do they get? It's like, uh, it's like the altitude in hypothermia where you get like hallucinations. No, I didn't know about that Yeah, they see things before they die Yeah, it's like you're dying. I forget what it's black. It's not the black dog. Is it? Maybe dang that's crazy That's pretty tight. Yeah, I got that was I also learned. Uh, I've been reading about gold rush, Colorado You know, there was a big cannibal or Yeah, that's I said cannibal on the line. I was like there was a there was like a prolific cannibal that like haunted the the hills in Colorado for a while He was munching dude Munching Idea somebody dear and wildlife there. No, he just he wanted to taste one of the people He wanted people he wanted those gold miners dude. He was munching them Like a while it was in the hills outside of Pleist peak and everyone was like, bro I'm pretty sure my wife got munched Who I mean, this is crazy. I've never heard of this man. Yeah, look look up. Uh, what did he munch? Look up, Colorado cannibal. I think it was like the 1700s. Was he uh, it's like the Leadville Silver boom, I believe Sounds like a name from that era too These names was like William something but yeah, he was munching Alpha okay, Alfred grinded did he did he just like that's who it was Did he just like turn into a cannibal someday? I have no idea I just I just like never fully got into his thing yet, but he uh, he was munching It is like a funny how many people say he got Maybe it's unknown Yeah, he was he was munching Sound the call dude, Colorado is crazy. It looks like he might have had the munch. He had to munch looks like a little uh Oh, I could be getting some Colorado folklore He got five. Oh my god. He came back Oh, so he had to munch because he was on the loose. I feel like they had to like catch him at some point And munched Oh, he so he was up there hiding and there was a snowstorm and he caught some guys that were stuck in it And he munched he said boys. I'm hungry Oh my god Yes, no boy, you know what time it is it's time for the help with the butter This episode is about to you about bitter hill Oh your butter the help with the butter One thing that's been keeping me up at night. Hmm or one keeping you up at night, man What's been keeping me up at night? I had nothing honestly. I sleep like a fucking brick, but I do I pass out in a second. Why are you worried about it? Well You know what's keeping me up at night my lack of deep sleep. I don't get a lot of deep sleep But you know, I don't know. I don't know other than that, um My kids keep me up or when I have to pee I lay down in bed sometimes and I think of really funny cool jokes And then I don't write them down and I wake up and go Then that keeps me up the next night But guys news flash Nobody has all the answers. Okay, and since is I don't know if you knew this it's mental health awareness month Oh nice. It's the perfect time to remind you that you don't have to tackle your problems alone No Match with the therapist from better help and get the help you need to navigate stress anxiety burnout and more They have an industry leading match fulfillment rate. You just need to answer a few questions Then they'll tell her a list of professional therapists you can connect with I really like that matt You don't have to be on this journey alone Okay, you need to find support and have someone with you in therapy matt. I want you in therapy Now sign up and get 10 off at betterhelp.com slash mssp. That's better HELP.com slash mssp. That's better help the help with the better Uh 516 guys Riviera theater, Chicago, Illinois. I will be there may 16th. I will be there get there That'll be really nice. I don't know if there's a lot of tickets left guys Just be serious and I have a bunch of new dates coming out pretty soon that I'll announce so pretty stoked I know I'll be in me me 10s the Miami 10s will be there. So I'll be at the Hollywood Bowl in LA. Please come to that I've got very good special guests on that May 7th 8th the 9th. I'm at TD garden in Boston unless the damn Celtics We'll see. Come on sixes. Come on sixes do this. I can have my shows Uh and then yeah the uh july 17th at the link please Please come That one's gonna be crazy. So even if you think I suck you should go to that Yeah, those Colorado towns dude, they were crazy because like there'd be a town of like 100 people and they'd be like, you know, there's gold in the hills and then instantly the town would turn into 100,000 people Yeah, and no one really got a lot of gold from the gold rush And it would just turn into like the worst place ever. Everyone's just disappointed and pissed And crowded on each other probably well at altitude too. So they're all getting hammered quicker being like what the fuck. Yeah Oh, what the shit It's good if you're just not looking for gold and you just want to attack people and eat them. Yeah, oh my god Yeah, all they were also mean to the engines in colorado. They did some bad stuff Yeah, I mean the dumbest guys on earth showed up. Yeah Sand Creek. I think sand creek was like it was just women and children This guy's famous thing was uh because they were like There's like there's not even braves who checked it out. It's all women and children and the one dude goes Nits make a lice. We got to take them out and this went and just murdered the children. Oh my god. They ran for office. I think Brutal brutal stuff It's about I'm really tapping everything I've read about in the last I like that. I But yeah, silver silver boom gold boom colorado stuff. You know, I've never really thought about it. That was I was I was reading about that pretty sick Isn't that like the same era as like the deadwood tv show? Like people just like moving out west. It's like the 1840s and yeah, it's pretty I think it was pre civil Yeah, okay, pretty simple. Well, they're the 49ers. Yeah There we go. Hey now. It's a good way to remember it. I like that 49ers, uh, there we go. Yeah, that's the 49ers What would you guys do in in that era? Like if you were alive like for a profession Godfearing farmer What's that farmer? I'd be a god be a godfearing farmer called No, I don't know. Yeah, I know that shit would suck. It looks terrible in a fucking factory. Yeah East coast in a shitty factory sharpen the fucking yeah We're talking about if you packed up and moved out there for that out west Yeah, general store. I can see you having a nice general store. Now you're talking like I'm great You're saying I'm Ulysses and I understand I would work the front desk and then the war would break out and I'd go God calls me to lead this army All these other guys are being pussies dude. I was getting wasted working at a fucking general storm It's time to get wasted on the battlefield The the allegation that he was wasted a child. It was great. So he woke up late to the battle Because he was drunk as fuck That's funny. Oh shit the war is due today Oh, shit. They're here They're like sir, we should retreat like fuck that. Fuck that. I fucking kill these pussies Everyone died angry and it's a hot face. Fuck that It's the scariest guy do that there tornado documentary you showed me It's a tough one do that guy waking up with a hang vicious hangover and being like, dude I think there's a tornado we should go check it out hangover. I missed that one. It was an f5 Fuck You hear the audio the whole time Also, ever in that town that gets interviewed it was like I was ready to go. I was ready to go. Yeah, I thought you were good It's very they just interview everyone's just kind of a weird christian. Yeah. Oh, they all come off as very homosexual Well, the one guy is and then one guy. Yeah, at least one Yeah, the one guy the one guy being like at one point I was ready I let go because I thought it was the rapture and then like since he didn't get sucked up in the hurricane He goes, that's because I'm gay, isn't it? And he went home But luckily his parents are still alive because his parents got sucked up. He would have been like, oh, yeah Okay, that was a rapture. Yeah, I got left behind in the wasteland It's so funny to fact gay guy being like take me I know it's like damn. I was I was defeat leave the ground like that much and then you drop back down. I'm like, god dammit Shit because he was young so he probably barely did that much gay stuff. No, but he knew yeah He did a lot of gay stuff. He was making youtube videos with the other girls in school That's gayer than sex with guys. No, the youtube guy was different. Oh, that was a different bro He got he died the chubby youtuber. No, not the youtube. Yeah, he made youtube too Not the cool youtube. Yes, the chubby youtube the the gay man was making youtube Gotcha, gotcha. Gotcha. I didn't know that I did like the jock He was just like, yeah, this one girl came up to me out of the wreckage. It was like, hey, what are you doing? He's like, I didn't recognize her. I didn't know who she was. She knew me, but I didn't It's like dude, stop man. Stop chatting around dude. You can't do it. It's chatting in the role You can't chat in rubble. He was chatting the role. He was there rescuing people There's like a babe from the school was like, oh, it's you and he was like, you don't even know her Oh, that used to be your house. Damn, that's crazy It's like fucked up Shit Yeah, documentary is terrifying. It's really scary. And then there's like the fungus thing that happens afterward. That's scary I forgot about the fungus. That's that freaked me out. Yeah. And that like it kicked up out of the ground kicked out. Yeah And then it's like you get you get sucked up And then you're like, thank god I survived and then the bacteria Almost kills you. Yeah, that's really fucked up. Wami Yeah, and it's like a tear joker though, bro. I knew I knew it got me Thankfully, thankfully I wasn't invested in it this time. First time I watched it. I was sobbing at the end And then obama comes along and you're like, damn obama That was a cool speech. Fuck. It was such a good speech. Actually, I think I did this I think I said this the last time I talked about this really but just comparing it to if trump was president Just you had a big storm Oh, you guys are great though. All right, get him out of here And we're doing a lot right now for the economy He'd just be like, yo, I'm killing it right now. Someone say the economy's in f5 right now Damn, he's had some good ones lately though. It has easy fire back up. Very funny. Yeah He had one recently. I'm trying to remember it. Did you see the shooter? A disney shooter, bro He like made it again. He's rings the security man. That first ring is so bad Got through Shot the secret service guy Did he shoot a guy? Yeah, he shot a secret service guy. The guy had a armored best on or whatever He called it as manifesto. Did he? Yeah, he said I'm gonna use Like buckshot or like uh, and he was like that way if they're wearing armor, I don't have to kill anyone But he's like, I'm trying not to kill anyone. I'm just trying to kill trump. Oh, okay Yeah, so you did him with the sun gun all the way up to try he was trying. Yeah, bring out the james bond golden pistol He's gonna be seven everybody else one shot pp7 golden gun How do you do you just like break in he just narutoed right through He literally sprinted through arms back nerd run nerd run right through. Yeah Yeah, that's start to tell now. It's like that might be like a high ranking FBI official Yeah, that's exactly how they would all run this entire administration would naruto What do you think about cash getting in trouble for drinking? Cash is under he's like under investigation for how hard he's hitting the bruskies He's claiming he's not hitting the bruce. The one thing I supported Let the boy hit the bruce All indian dudes want to do is have bruskies with the bros You saw how happy he was in that hockey locker. He really was I was literally the indian dream He's stressed He's stressed and honestly, I really I didn't like all the like imagine how bad that sucked when he rolls up to that It's like you think they give a fuck. They just won the Stanley Cup or the olympics. Yeah, they're fucking stoked and then you're like, holy fuck There's cashmantel Shotgunning a beer. This is awesome Yeah, I remember not liking that footage of a coverage of like It's like dude. He's doing one thing cool. It doesn't have every not everything has to be bad all the time. Yeah That's that's that's they struggle with that. Yeah, it's like dude It's this is sick. This is made the arch is sick that trump wants to build. What's the arch? He's trying to build a sick ass arch dude. Where give us a fucking arch. Where is it? In washington, it's gonna be sick going archery time. It's not golden. I don't think McDonald's 24 7. Actually like that It's just a big M Sick ass arch dude Sick ass arch DC It came up obviously that's awesome Trump's victory arch. Let's go. Let's go. Well, yes, they're waiting for us, bro It would be tight. We stopped building sick shit. Oh, that's true And they don't like it because it's trump dog, but is that just like a 3d rendering? Yeah, that actually looks cool It's like um, yeah, what's Washington Square Park? Yes. I was I was thinking the st. Louis thing. Oh, that's nicer It's like We should be like all right if you if you win if he wins I ran you get the arch if he doesn't win he gets the loser arch and they're gonna put him up there Just going like yeah, that's gonna be it If he puts himself on the arch, I'm out But if the arch is just America's sick, yeah, I like it that'd be tight Well, he's gonna have his name's gonna be somewhere on there Definitely. It's no way. It's no way his name's not on there. Yeah, he's gonna put that shit on there somewhere Yeah, but hopefully he puts everyone's one of his now. There's like on the wall You know like a Abraham Lincoln has like the Gettysburg address. It'll be one of trump's speeches Just a snippet of a funny one. She's a fat bitch Fat bitch shut up. It'd be nice to have. Do you remember the the led belt buckles where it was like and it's like just across the top It's like all his top insults Yeah, I mean, you know, I haven't heard much about it Piggy arch Quiet piggy arch Quiet piggy Just him as like a cherubic kind of Greek thing and like a pig lady and him being like Have you got a funny? The arch is sick. The arch does look sick as fuck. Yeah, it does look nice And I agree with you. We should start building cool new statues. Yeah, we do need cool stuff. Yeah But stuff who's it and it's tough to agree now back in the day. It was like consensus like yeah, throw up a fucking Yeah, throw up cool shit. Now. It's like well hold on We should do one of the ladies that clean the mall and you're like, yeah, okay Throw up the ladies clean the mall statue. Awesome. All right. We're all stoked obviously There they are Yeah, brother. It's statue of Sherman in central park. I always go pay homage to it. That's awesome. We need this. Yeah We used to have cool shit. Yeah, it's That's tight. That is great. Some cities still have and I I wish I knew more about like the the you know of like horses hoops Two hoops are up if it's reared up like what that means. I like that stuff. They tell you that at Gettysburg Yeah, it's pretty exciting. But then there's a couple statues that don't follow it. What? Yeah, knock them down I I'm gonna topple them. Yes, I'll be out there with the ropes. I'll bring sandals I But yeah, it's I mean, yeah, again, who knows I keep I keep I'm being I'm being uh Every news thing I see I get the new reality that we're in the new reality. We've lost this now Horizontal warfare and it's sort of the kinetic phase like dude shut up. I got asked to invest in ai defense. Oh, yeah No, no Yeah, that would feel I would have done it and then they blew up that school of children and I was like I can't ever Yeah, you know how bad I'd feel if I was sitting here in my tighties watching westerns And then it said breaking We blew up another school. I guess I wonder if the ai interface is like box off that When it blows up a school the screen is like oops my bad, you're totally right. That was a girl's school Let's recalibrate. Do you want me to blow up something else? Yeah, it's like Gwyneth Paltrow's voice It's like you're exactly right on that. That was my bad. Wow. I never considered it like that Thought there's a bunch of dudes in there and then and then when it zooms in its flavor flavor, it's like Damn What do you know Burr had a good bit online about human shields? He's like they're using the kids as human shields He's like, yeah fucking wait. Yeah, if I want to beat up my neighbor. He's holding his baby It's like, you know, you gotta wait till he's on the grass so I can like flip him down the baby bounces I'm just gonna blast through the baby's head to hit my neighbor Burr's back. He came back dude. Nice hard comeback. He's back. He's 100 full strength Great I keep waiting for that ride a bag now. It's gonna be huge. Do wartime right? Riyadh. No, I didn't get offered but I'm saying wartime. Oh, it's gotta be it's gotta be 3x Rida Oh, that's true like for the for the next year Next year's Riyadh mid-war bro. Oh boy. That is all. Yeah, there's like yeah, there's like a hazard pay But that's all if I go They're gonna need to break out the big saw This guy's fucking huge I'm not going Yeah, I'm curious who does some people will go people already went will go back because they already was stood the storm Yeah, but yeah mid-war is crazy. That is a wild one mid-war will be nuts That's like then you get to feel like 50 cent performing in iraq during you know, I mean Yeah, well, that's what I mean. It's like they'll people who go will be like, yeah, it was pretty crazy over there It's like you're not You're not 50 I'm gonna do it. Yeah, I would do a thing where I would go like I'm gonna perform for the troops But then go to the u.s. Government like, you know, you got a match or you ought to pay back That's because of because of a seven trillion dollar budget. You guys pay me two million dollars stop complaining. All right You'll be fine. You'll be fine. That's actually a good idea. Yeah, I might Yeah, that would do it You know, I've there was a I know somebody who does like technology sales and they said when they Deal with the like the military. Yeah, there's some weird thing where like they'll order the wrong thing But if it's on a military base, they have to destroy it No matter what so like millions of dollars of like computer equipment And since instead of just returning it so it can be reused or like we have to destroy this now Reorders pretty crazy It is like nothing. They'll be like dude, whatever. This is what it is. This is protocol. Yeah, it can't it can't get in the wrong hands They take it out back in his office space it They pay the indian guys Yeah, dude that that and the madagascar thing you're just living next to a river of shit literally a river of sewage Yes, and every day is rising. You're like, yeah, it's gonna be my fucking please fix it That bothered me so much. Yeah, that's don't do anything else. No soccer today fellas Sandbag day we're gathering sandbags to put along the shit river And we're doing that every day until somebody fucking starts digging a trench somewhere Yeah, that would also like bother because it's like Like 10 feet. There's a fence and then there's really nice houses. Yeah, I saw that they're gonna start. Yeah, they're going through that fence Yeah, so there's after my third summer of the shit flood Okay, and no one's helping with plumbing. Yeah, it's time to go over the wall. Yeah, it's like there's like a Yeah, like a chinese diplomat and his wife. It's like I'm gonna go eat them Like I'm pissed off It's time to fight. Yeah, yeah, there'll be time to uh infiltrate this do your thing at least get in the pool true Just washing off the shit at least go pool hopping at night. Get shot. Yeah Can I just wash the shit off my family, please? That's all I'm trying to my family's covered in shit right now And you have a pool and I like to just wash the shit off me the chlorine will actually kill the shit They used to get chlorinate that river. There you go. Oh, chlorine bobbins. That would help and then the skimmer a little bit Yeah, skimmer. Yeah, skim the skim the turds anything chunky. That's a lot of gators That's a gator pool dude And once monsoon season comes The gators get a lose Superdome Yeah, that that was india was pretty nuts looking Madagascar was not as bad india took the cake that was just dudes in like little like tiny courtyards Just grinding up plastic There's just not a free inch of No, it's everything is used Yeah noble but too crowded for me. No, the dude the to go hot curry plastic bags Oh, I forgot about that. That fucked me up dude. There's just 40 bags on the floor Just it's just like their ghost kitchens over there Just 40 fucking bags of steaming hot curry sitting in a plastic thing. Yeah, it's like a plastic bag and then it's like soup It's like the hottest soup And they just pour it in and and that was a good job. Yeah Of these jobs we saw the guys in Indian style I am jealous when I see them how they can just chill on a floor like that. I'm like, damn I can never do my hip flexors are way too tight. My hip flexors are purely western from sitting in chairs Yeah, well, yeah, it's nice to know to be like I'm not meant for I'm supposed to be sitting in chairman Yeah, I'm supposed to be sitting in a chair. We'll call it civilized. Yeah It's an officer's pose Matt I'm the only one I know it wants to go to India. I want to go. Yeah while we were watching Matt was like I want to go to India so bad. I think you'd like it spiritually. Yeah, I think it'd be sick It's supposed to be hitting that spirituality. We get the fuck out the window and it was 150 degrees I've heard I have heard people have gone there and it's like I knew a woman who went there and she said it was like I was scared. Yeah, her friends got off and the dude will just like grab you like come here And you like yeah off me. Yeah, you know like bully you to stay in a certain hotel. I'm like, where are you going? Like they don't want you it's fucked up. Yeah, it's really really. Yeah, you get you get uh, when the bros come There's bro. There was one time there was uh, I think I've talked about this before but the the person I knew was there with her friend And uh, she said they were they were like looking at a thing and the tour guide was like we have to go right now There's just a do a pack of dudes in business cash Like send my unbuttoned shirts like, you know, we have to leave these guys are gonna rape you we have to leave So I got but I don't think I'll think the bros would get me You need to go They might be clubbed up too though. They definitely have clubs Damn Yeah, I remember being like damn that sucks middle management meeting coming this way It's all the guys from the office. I mean if you get done grinding plastic for 12 hours That's true. And then you see some white bitches here on a fucking spiritual journey You're gonna pay for this You're gonna pay for your choices Like a fucking catcher for 12 hours, dude Separating plastics into a fucking wood chipper. Yeah I've taken apart like six engines. They are counted on fucking tiktok and uh, yeah, Indian bros are coming up with good shit Yeah, I like that guy. They are very funny. Yeah, we should acknowledge third world privilege. Your video is kind of slap Yeah, yeah If you're third world to get a smartphone, everyone's like let me see I need to see what the hell's going on right now Pretty tight It's crazy those villages that go from like no electricity to smartphones. I know it's just like yo, here's that would be Dude looking through a screen at like An upper middle class suburban, new jersey in the third world. He might be you must just be like dude. What the fuck? Yeah, what the fuck is that? It's like it's gotta be crazy. It probably feels like a hallucination. It really does That's like wait. Where's your shit river? Yeah, exactly. Do you love shit rivers? Yeah, our shit river runs underground It's like you get an ad with like a woman in it and then it's just immediately. It's like come here Yeah, I need you here. Where are you? Yeah now Yeah, I it's hard to fight that reserve as a westerner. I know Understand the technology. Yes. Maybe I just got Instagram. I was looking at girls pictures. I'd be like come. Yeah Take your shirt off Take your shirt off. I think a bird in a mirror. I'd be like Let's be in There's like a couple guys that I used to do open mics with that are like they're just american guys, but they're like They've just lost it and they're just on twitter or it's just women being like, you know Here's a workout thing and just good morning. Hi There's one where it's like I took a picture of it. There's a lady It's like you're trying to fuck this thick shit with a little dick and then he's like good morning. Hi, it's me I just fucked up on twitter And he just used to I don't know. Yeah. Good morning. My algorithms. Yeah, I'm getting the hot babes again Yeah, and I'm getting so good. I mean, it's like geoguessir. I'm good. I can see the I can see the background of a hot chicks picture and be like she's in the gold coast australia What? That's why I'm like British Oh, Nashville I mean, they're only in five spots. Yeah, Miami Nashville LA Australia and uh, what was the other one I just said England's tossing some nash Yeah, England. England. Yeah, they can toss some babes out very classical babes. London's like a fashion capital too. So Yeah, New York New York babes out. That's where yeah, they're all but they're more like they're more stylish. Yeah, true I'm talking about the I can hit with a super stylish. Miami 10s national 10s, bro Australia 10s Australia 10s are wild. I had a super stylish babe get into my elevator today I just I do for real like Frazy pointy super shoes weird tight but loose Dresspants smelled like absolute heaven. Yeah came in. I just looked at the floor. I literally looked at the floor I just went I know it's so you can do it. It was I'll just I'll just skip my When she got in the elevator, huh? Were you dirty when that happened? Yeah, I was fucking looked like this I was covered in dirt and I just let you walk there Literally we're a peasant in the fields Didn't even usually usually I'm like pretty you know, you just see me work on the elevator I'm usually just I can't help I'll raise up. I'm risen nonstop. You're happy to chat in the Vader I'm happy to chat in the Vader. Yeah, it was just me me in person. I was just dirty in the elevator and I just went Not even gonna try to raise you up at all. Yeah And it's not like I just you know chat Of course, I'm just you know, but you see I'm not a jackass. No, I'm not I'm not a jackass. Yeah, hell yeah, that's good. No, I like that. I was there being a jack I'm not being a jackass on the elevator. I'm just saying these guys saw these guys saw the uh, Lady was raising me up a little bit in the elevator. Whoa. Were you there? I don't know if you guys were there. The mayor was there Yeah, I have a couple I've elevator buddies. I've got all the elevators. I think I'm great time There's what can elevators you guys on? Yeah, it's in my my office apartment. Oh, so when we do the podcast there I'll bring the team I bring the team there my elevator buddies see my team. Yes So chat me up That's true. Yeah. Oh god. Yeah, probably yeah Lord knows what you're doing. I know We're just screaming shout. Oh f-man. Maybe the kid I I've thought about it before They might like and subscribe. Yeah, next time we had the cams in my elevator with my elevator buddies call me anaconda Yo anaconda, where do you go to the cams? I go, yo, chill chill chill with my elevator All right, don't forget Anaconda squares We actually can raise are the best of them in the elevator But this I was so dirty and this lady just came on and she was like mean too. She came on a mean face And I was one of them just looked at a lot of those fashion babes are mean. Yeah, she was a mean babe, dude Very pointy sharp features. I went nope. No, no, no Nope. Nope. Nope You are not not my squad. Yeah septum pierce babes not my squad either We rarely get along. I agree rarely, dude. I only really run into them at uh, while they're bartending Yeah, and they're the meanest. Yeah, dude. They're fucking mean as hell mean as hell that you already know They're gonna be like that's like, all right, bro Take that shit out your fucking Pick a side pick a fucking side, dude. What the what did the fucking thing get out? Yeah, take it out right now pissing me off I know you complain on tiktok or whatever. That's all you get that and you're like Shut up a lot of bartenders film their shifts now, you know that They film them and they time-lapse them It's a big thing Damn day in life and it's just like It's me the whole time Do they that's crazy Fucking live stream at a bar That's not fair Yeah, it's supposed to be a safe haven for saying stuff. You would yeah for real. You're supposed to say the worst things there I would like speaking of dude. I get guys saying when they're wrongfully Caught saying the wrong things. This is donald sterling things been making me laugh. What happened. It's just an old, uh Thing he said during his deposition Uh, well, whatever I'll try to find but he's like When when when a beautiful woman hits on me and sucks on me And it lets me know she cares about me and the limo driver And I get in a limo and she gets naked and starts sucking my toes and sucking on me And I say thank you for making me feel good And they get the next line in the deposition is like the question was is that your handwriting? Pretty classic I like to get sucked in limo suck it on me. I get sucked on the limo on the way to mr. Kuhn's house That's mr. Kuhn's house. He's gone too. What was he the deposition for? Probably getting caught saying the n-word. Uh, I don't even think he said the n-word. He just said He didn't even say the n-word, dude He didn't want his lady pictures with him posting. Yeah, that's what it was. He said don't post pictures with him as fellas Look, I never said that. I never said nothing was wrong with him. Say he's innocent I've been Kid I was like, he's taking pictures with other bids with other dudes like that's that's a no go And they're basketball players and it's court side without him. Yeah, he's like, look you can take him to the games I don't care if you hang out with him. Stop fucking posting pictures. I think he even said I don't care if you fuck him I think he was like, I don't even care if you have sex with him. Just stop He was getting his balls broken, dude. Yeah, your wife's saying I'll mr. Anaconda Every day posting a picture of mr. Anaconda A 70 year old white guy it does kind of suck if your wife's constantly taking pictures with giant black guys He's getting ribbed. That's the thing. He's like, I'm getting ribbed Yeah, stop It's like, yeah everywhere I turn people are like I get out of limo mr. Coons house. It's like your wife is Yeah, well, he was just getting his feet and donks sucked in the limo True that's probably also bothered him too where everyone was like, you're fucking cocky. He's like bro. I'm getting so much What are you talking about? I'm fucking hurt Stop fucking talking to me like that It's also funny because you know, he like really he was like, all right, I got a bro Sensitive subject. How do I broach it? So he's probably practicing in the limo. He's getting like his feet sucked He's like, I don't have anything against black guys. Just Chill with the pics. All right. Yeah, just a weird look for me. How do you think put yourself in my shoes? Yeah Did he did he ever go to the games or did he just like I'm not sure he just owned the team I probably chilled outside and got sucked in the limo on the way to my school. Yeah. Yeah, the clip is very good I gotta I've been saying it. You gotta bring limos back. Nobody rides in limos anymore. I know it's it is like Nobody does. I was just talking with somebody but yeah, they they look like silly now to people crazy, dude They're funny. You have a 30 foot car. They're so funny. Limos. But you could get them. It'd be sick to bring them back I know Just chilling the limo phone in the limo. I need a new car. I might get one just a limo and drive a limo drive Just fucking trying to barrel out park He's pulling stretch over in the whole foods Oh, he said worse things than you thought oh, no, hold on. Let's go over it because I thought the gist of it was like, come on chill That's what I thought it was too. It starts with uh, don't bring black people and don't come to my games He told her is one of them because she recorded all she did sneak that's the part the bottom That was also a little she's sneaky recorded them in his house, which is that's not fair But it also says it bothers me that you want to promote broadcasts you're associating with black people Which that was that was that was kind of rough. I didn't know you All right, never mind. Yeah, hold on. Let's go ahead and take that one back I support them and getting food and closing cars and houses Okay, I guess he's talking about owning and was he goofing because sometimes Sometimes white fellas we say goofing things if I if I remember right his tone in this wasn't never a goon It was kind of a pleading tone like come on babe. If I remember here in the audio So he probably was like he'd probably be genuine like but how old was it? Uh, how old was he? Yeah, I think he's like 70 or 80 So funny so funny to own the team You know what I mean, you own it. It's like yeah, that was just a bad job to have for what you're saying. Yeah, he's still alive Yes, he's 92. He's still alive. Yeah, he's basically telling you his wife like you don't get high off your own supply Also, you own the team it's like bro, don't be fucking he was corset. He was strong. Don't be you know, don't have him weak in the knees That's true Damn and he had a I think I mean she's something Oh, yeah, she's uh, vis-to-viano. Yeah, she's um Actually, I don't know but she's not a she's not a white lady. It's like an x. Yeah, you're like operated to Yo, he had the supermodel Yeah, I mean if you have the supermodel you gotta let your supermodel just do supermodel stuff, dude You can't be like hey Yeah, I feel like at that point it's like that's what those guys do you should have got into it That's what I'm saying. He should have been like I think he probably was into it, but just was like He didn't fucking take pictures. Oh, I see. He just didn't want it to be public. Yeah, he probably wasn't. Yeah You're right. He's fucking 80, right? True. All right. We could be the only way. So we gotta go to the page. Yeah. Yeah. So, oh, yeah, we got a nice one Yeah, let's talk rum. Let's go rum. I gotta I got a lot of stuff. I got a pee Watch new episodes of matt and shane secret podcast on spotify do it A great story like monsters ink stays with you forever And disney class is where you'll find your next great story From the return of the award-winning hit series rivals Welcome to the naughtiest show on television to the unmissable crime drama High potential gotta dead body gotta go a lifetime of great stories awaits this spring on disney plus 18 plus subscription required t's and c's apply