The BOB & TOM Show - April 8, 2026

British Gas have this thing. We call it home care. We'll fix all sorts, and it's unlimited repairs. Expert engineers will solve the upset of boilers not boilering or taps that won't wet. Electrics playing tricks, or a pipe that's broke. We're there for everyone, even blue furry folk. Your home won't feel booby-trapped. It'll feel just like new. British Gas taking care of things and looking after you. T's and C's apply. Excess options available per repair. It's the Bob and Tom Show! Now, Bob and Tom Motion Pictures presents a new psychological thriller. What happens when two people from very different worlds meet? Will they even understand each other? The Bob and Tom Show's very own Tom Griswold plays himself. Hi, everybody. Opposite hip-hop legend T. Diddy Combs. Hey, what's happening? It's the mega blockbuster that says, Look out, Tom Cruise, because Tom Griswold is vanilla gone. What is hip? Yo. What is hot? Where? Some guy knows. Come on. Tom's in a professional league. Yeah. Tommy T. What? T. Huh? I'm lost. Vanilla, he's my man. Vanilla. It's P. Diddy and Tom Griswold together for the first time. Howdy and greetings. I just want to say that it's a real honor to work with you, Sean. Yo. Right on, gee. Seriously, Sean, I am a big fan. Sean, you see any more of the crusty-ass white bitch named Connery around here, white boy? Because that's the only Sean I know. I catch the drift of your correction, bro. So, actually, I believe Sean Connery's Scottish. You can tell from his rolling R's and his tendency to break words down by syllables. But be that as it may, I'm hip to where you're coming from, blood. And I'd be delighted to refer to you by your famous gangster moniker, Puff Daddy. Puff Daddy? What game do you think this is, fool? What the f***? Man, what I'm saying is the name Puff Daddy doesn't wear a f***ing stale, man. Man, I got to be fresh, G. Now, you see what I'm saying? Now, I'm banging with Pete Diddy, all right? Right on, Mr. Diddy. I'm right there with you, homely. Vanilla Guy. When it's all over, they know each other better than they know themselves. Man, can we bust a rat? Well, okie-dokie, that'd be quite an honor. Right back at you, Mr. Diddy. I party all night and I sleep all day. I have a golden retriever and a 401k. Don't f*** with me, a buffer. Chapping your ass. I pay an ethnic gentleman to cut my grass. You're one of the players. You want the honkies. We have one thing in common. We're both hung like donkeys. Tick it to donkeys. Tick it to donkeys. Tick it to donkeys. Tick it to donkeys. Tick it to donkeys. My man. Tick it to donkeys. That vanilla guy, he's a bad mother. That's your mouth. Sorry, what was that? That's what I thought, yeah. That vanilla guy, he's a bad mother. That's what I thought, yeah. That's what I thought, yeah. I'll do my own call and response thing. From the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studio. Honky, honky, honky, honky. It's the Bob and Tom Show. Christy Lee over there at the news desk. Just walked in. Yikes. You never see that on TV news. I just walked in? Yeah, the camera opens up and there's this empty desk. You walk in. No, it sounds like a criticism. No, not at all. You want to be here on time for now on? Geez. I will. No, no, you're missing the point. I think it's great. Okay. I mean, she's been working until just this minute. There's Pat Godwin. Hey, chick. Pat's been working since 4 a.m. when we got here. Do we have a song today, Pat? Three. I got three. Three. It's unbelievable. You okay? I'm happy. Happy. Christy. All right. Honey, you okay? I don't know who you are. You lowered the scene and take down. That'll cheer you up. No, I'm not. Hi, Josh. How are you? Good. How are you? I'm all right. There's Ace Cosby. Hello. That's a handsome polo. Very nice shirt. Thank you. I thought I'd shock the free world in a white colored shirt. It is a polo. A little pony there. It's a Ralph Lauren. You can't see it from over there. A polo shirt is the cut. No, no, no. Okay. That's a good argument. It's an Oxford cloth by polo. Yes, there you go. I can wear that. I'm sorry. You don't wear button-up shirts? No, no, no. Of course, yes. Oh, okay. Little logo guy. That's a nice shirt, chick. Yeah, that's all you want to do. On a scale of 1 to 10, Ace, what would you say this intro was? I know. 10 being the best. Can we start over? We could. Oh, we've got to cut into the ending of the song. Well, there we go. I thought it was a good intro. Got a lot done. Hi, Tom. How are you? Did you mention that Josh is over there at the Orange and Souls? Yeah, he did. And I said, Christy, I have stripes. Christy's got them. There you go. I like that. I like that. First stripe drum. Yeah. I think I had one piece. It lost its flavor immediately. Yeah. I had one piece, and that was about it for the rest of my life. I don't care for it. Yeah, same. Yeah. Do you chew gum now? I do not. I'm a mint guy. I'm a pastille guy. Oh. I have had to become a big gum guy. I've heard it's good for your brain. Oh, here it comes. The doctor recommended it. Here it comes. No, no, it's true. My doctor had... There it is. There you go. Yeah, I know, but watermelon, ick. Do you ever tell anybody, you go, hey, would you like some gum? Because I have some extra. Ah. The other day, I was picking up... Tell me everything. God, what are they called? I don't know. These weird French fries. Children? Weird French fries. Truffle fries? Yes, yes. Okay. One of my daughters likes truffle fries. and there's a place I like to go. Are you saying truffle fries or waffle fries? Truffle fries. So she can't just have McDonald's fries. I don't like waffle fries. Father, I would like some truffle fries, please. Oh, my God. Can you make that happen? The waffle fry is like a radiator. It's like broccoli. It loses temperature too quickly. Yeah, I still like them. Too much surface area and I still like them. Yeah, yeah, yeah. What about the truffle waffles? They'd probably be delightful How about so? But this place I like to go to, they have truffle fries So I drove down there And I went to the seating, whatever you call it Desk And I said, I'm here to pick up these truffle fries I ordered them on the phone And she goes, oh, are you chewing watermelon gum? Oh my gosh Wait a minute She could smell it How long did it take you to go pick up truffle fries for your daughter? Like an hour? Well, it would have been 10 minutes, but they put this stupid bus line in that added 50 red lights. Well, the good thing is they could have bought a Cadillac for every person that's ever ridden on that bus line. That's your percentile. In any event, it took me about 25 minutes. Were they still hot when you got them all? Yeah, I don't care for them. And then she ate one and goes, I don't like them, Daddy. Oh, no, she ate them all. Then her mom came home and said, what did you make heart for dinner? truffle fries. That didn't go over too well. In any event, yeah, I like the watermelon gum. So we're here. What I was referring to... We're here, we're queer, deal with it. When Christy walked in, I think it'd be fun to see a news show that starts with an empty desk and everybody rushing in and sitting down. Have you ever watched a morning news show? I do every morning and non-stop. Everything's happy and wonderful. Hey, how are you? Oh, I'm great. How are you? We had some pretty great weather out there yesterday. Oh, yeah. Got a couple glimpses of the old man's son. But da, da, da, da, da, da. Those shows, I think a lot of very elderly people watch those, and they think of those people as their kids. I count myself a lot. Do you think when the cameras turn off, I mean, it is just hate and anger. You mean like in here? When the mics turn off here, it stays relatively the same. Right. Pretty much the same. It doesn't go from, like, crazy happy to crazy mad. Right. It goes from sort of disgruntled to disgruntled. Yeah. It kind of stays in that sweet spot. Or it goes from dick jokes to good recipes. Yeah. There's a show called The Morning Show that has Reese Witherspoon in it and Jennifer Aniston, and they kind of talk about this. So that's supposed to be a knockoff of Good Morning America or the Today Show. About how the happy talk isn't always happy when the cameras go off. Okay. Yeah, I passed on that. Let's see now. So coming up, we have comedian Maggie Hughes-Dapallo and comedian Allie Breen. Is Allie back from her? Are we sure? I hope so. Maybe she's calling from San Maritz. Wouldn't that be? Are we sure we're getting her? Okay. She went to San Maritz. Just me. Isn't that beautiful? Have you ever been to San Maritz? No. You think about going? You should go. No. No, I like skiing in the United States of America. Is that right? Even though there's no snow? Well, this year was a rough year. By the way, I did get a nice letter from Alaska. where they did have some really good skiing this winter. So good to know. Well, now it's bikini skiing. Did you see that yesterday? Yeah. A lot of bikinis out there on the slopes. Yeah. Worst sunburn I ever got in my life was skiing in Ulta, Utah. You know why? It's because the air is thin up there. There's no atmosphere. It's like skiing with a mirror around your face. I got roasted. Can we get an AI depiction of Tom skiing in a bikini? I guarantee it. Probably. That would be all right. Coming up, should we want to put on your quiz hat early? Yeah, why not? Okay, okay. Ask me anything. Oh, this is so gooey. This is going to be a quiz hat. What did you think I said? You ever examine a time? I actually put on my jizz hat. You ever get a little on your hand and go, what the hell is that? Oh, that's interesting. And then rub it in your hand like a piece of glue. I haven't. I'm aware of what you're talking about. What I have noticed, though, is how cold it gets so quickly. Quickly. Oh, like, so you're coming back to the waffle fries? It's the waffle fry bodily fluid. It's like bodily, yeah, immediately. As soon as it hits the air, it's 25 degrees. Unbelievable. Okay, I have no idea what you're talking about. Oh, that's good. Okay, this is Christy. Yes? I'm going to play this for you, and then you need to identify it. Everybody else be quiet. That includes Dick. So it's not a quiz, Dan. It's a question for Christy. This is phase one. That's right. This is a two-parter kind of thing. Okay. Two-part. Yes. The rest of us have to shut up. Yes. Shut it up. Here we go. Here we go. What's for breakfast, cookie? You know what that is? I have no idea. Beans. Yeah, but you want to give me a genre? Western. Yeah, that is Western music. That is the theme from Gunsmoke, which is a show I hated as a kid. And I was in the waiting room of my doctor's office a couple weeks ago, and there's a channel that plays this, I guess, is it all day? Yeah, my mother-in-law used to watch it every single day. It's her favorite show. The number one network for people who don't have Wi-Fi or any sort of antenna, I guess. That's exactly right. It must be cheap, so they leave it on the doctor's office. Oh, yeah, cheap, cheap, cheap, fixed income. You'd think at your doctor they'd have Apple TV. You think of your doctor there'd be no... My doctor, I'm surprised I don't have... Intended. You'd have live entertainment. Once again, back from the dead. It's Frank Sinatra. Hey, guys, you had an appointment at 10.30. Seinfeld was doing a quick six-year-old. Okay, now I'm playing that for a reason. Okay. I can't wait. We have a letter from Jim. Hi, Jim. Okay. I'm going to read the letter on you to tell me what the connection is. All right. This is for Christy only. Oh, God. Okay, this is from Jim, long-time listener, big-time fan. Last night, an old TV show was on called Emergency. Oh, yeah. Star solution to DeFiW. There was a scene treating a babysitter in the background. They had Pong on the TV. Oh, yeah. Remember that? I do remember that. He says, good times. Have a great day. Jim in Festus, Missouri. Now, what is the connection? Oh, there was a guy on Gunsmoke named Festus. Very good. But the original guy was named Chester. Dennis Weaver. Was he the original? Yeah, I think you're right. Ken, somebody was Festus. They replaced Festus? I think you're right. Ken Curtis. No, they replaced the actor. Yeah, that's what I mean. Dennis Weaver. Chester. Didn't he limp or something? I think he did. Did Festus limp as well? I just found him incredibly irritating. The whole thing? Yeah. I have hatred for things that's completely unreasonable. You know, the hotel and the lady ran the hotel. She was a whore, right? You guys know that, right? On Gunsbo. Miss Kitty? Very understated, though, right? Yeah. Yeah. Every now and then they'd have an episode where she recognized a guy. What's that all about? I don't think they even hinted that she did anything but dressed nice and had great teeth. Yeah, you knew. I didn't put that together. Oh, you were an innocent boy. Yeah. Did you catch the episode of Doc where he accidentally slipped and said he can't wait for the ultrasound? He got his lines wrong. I missed that one. My brother lives near Festus, Missouri. My aunt and uncle used to live there. Yeah. I wonder if that's where they got the name for the character. I don't know. Big town? Media town? It's gotten bigger. When I was a kid, it was small. Factory? Did you ever see the western version of the Addams Family with Uncle Festus? Boy, that's a joke for no one. No. That's what it is. Talk about narrow casting. Jackie Coogan's long-luck cousin, twice removed, didn't get that. Or whoever that guy is. Bald guy. Uncle Fester. Jackie Cooper. Right, but he wanted to play. I know, but it's... This could be a new part of our show. Jokes for no one. Welcome to jokes for no one. No, no, no. We don't have to start it. You just go ahead and keep being you. We'll do it. This isn't a new part of it. This is what the show is. This is our life now. In my current state of wisdom, I now realize I have completely irrational hatred of certain things, and one of them is that show. We all kind of do, right? I hated that show. Gunsmoke? Yes, hated it. Really? I never watched an episode. As long as there was any drama for you. I know. Maybe that's why I hated it, because I don't believe in democracy. Did parents watch it? Yeah, you were bored. Oh, God. Oh, my father would never watch Crafts. Really? Just turn PBS on and let it take care of itself. What did your dad want? What dad didn't like Westerns? Right. My father. My appreciation of Westerns continues to go up. Did your dad have an eye for color or anything? He was colorblind. Oh, he was? Really? Famously. Did he have a certain flair for wearing clothes or anything like that? No, not at all. Did he watch any television? Very little. He'd watch baseball games Mostly baseball games He'd watch two baseball games at the same time He had a TV on top of his TV Boy Scout leader? He never watched a drama at night with your mom They sat on the couch Come on in here, hon Gun smoke's on Again, my father was disabled You know, this one lady's a whore Occasionally we'd have men's night We'd go to a movie I remember seeing with him The Wreck of the Merry Deer. Wait a minute. What? You would go to a movie with your dad. I love that. And he called it men's night. Maybe once a summer. Like you and your brother? The Lyric Theater in downtown Harbor Springs. We saw Butch Cassidy and the Sundance. Oh, that was great. Was it just you or you and the brother? Me and my dad. We saw Run Silent, Run Deep. Oh, that's a great movie. A lot of sweating. What was the first one you mentioned? The Wreck of the Merry Deer. How the hell was that? I don't know. I remember the title. That kind of gives away the ending. I'd have to check. That might not even be the exact title. For some reason, that stuck in my mind. Nothing runs like a merry deer. I'll tell you that. Now, yeah, Men's Night. He wasn't a big TV guy. Okay. And I understand. Gunsmoke may be loved by millions. I never sat through an entire episode. Did you have the TV centerpiece of the living room, or was it like a credenza hidden away? Or whatever. There was one in the living room. Okay. With a TV on top of it. Okay. Like a little Sony on top of the Magnavox. Like two TVs? Yeah, he always did that. All right. Have two ballgames on it. Did you have to live it up? Yeah, he would have loved living in the era of cable. He would have. He would have a quadra box or whatever they call it. Did you have to lift it up there for him, probably, and plug it in? Excuse me, I'm sorry. That would be kind of hard to roll over there and hold the TV in your lap. Yeah, that would be funny. Are we going to just continue to make fun of the disabled? I'm not making fun. Okay, okay. There's really nothing funny there. The logistics of a handicapped man putting TV on top of the other TV. Any jokes about throwing them down the stairs? Now, now, let's move on. I never asked how to do them all at once. I heard polio. Now, are you throwing them down the stairs? Coming up, we have more jokes just for no one. Right now, I want to talk about going out and getting the mail. One of my pet peeves, people who walk out to their mailbox, standing in the street, going through the mail. It's a busy street. You're going to die. Grab your mail and walk back toward your house. No, no, I'm making a great day. I'm talking about you, 75th Street. Okay, where was I? The one thing about opening mail that's a little bit depressing these days, maybe opening those credit card bills. And you'll notice that, wait a second, if I can pay as much as I can pay this month, all I'm doing is trying to pay the interest off on this massive debt I've acquired. What can you do about that? Well, there's a bunch of stuff you can probably do. How about this one? If you own your home, it's probably worth a lot more than it was a few years ago. That's one of the sort of oddities about the financial culture that we're living in right now. You can take advantage of that. You don't have to sell your house, but if you refi, you can grab some of that equity and perhaps pay off the credit card. So instead of paying 20% interest on that massive credit card debt, you can breathe again. Get your head above water. The folks at American Financing sent me some stats here. It says right now their average customer, they're saving about $800 a month in that mortgage payment by doing a refi. So see if this suits your situation. I can't tell you, but they might be able to tell you. Just after a few minutes, they can analyze your situation and might be able to help you out. So there's no upfront fees and no obligation to talk to somebody. And just talk to a consultant in the world of refinancing. And right now I want to talk about American financing. You can reach them by going to AmericanFinancing.net. I'd ask you to go AmericanFinancing.net slash Bob and Tom and find out why they call it America's Home for Home Loans. So if you own your home, maybe it'll take advantage of it right now in this particular marketplace. Once again, it's AmericanFinancing.net. NMLS, 1-8-2-3-3-4, NMLSConsumerAccess.org. APR for rates in the five start at 6.196% for well-qualified borrowers. Call 866-889-2611 for details about credit costs and terms. Visit AmericanFinancing.net slash Bob and Tom. Hey there, I'm Paula Pan. I help people make the smartest money decisions possible. Do not ever worry about your salary. You need enough to make sure that you aren't in a bad financial position. Once you have that, your salary becomes moot. What matters from that point forward, upside gains. Any type of ownership stake or ownership potential, that's the money. Remember, you can afford anything, just not everything. Afford anything. Follow and listen on your favorite platform. Hey, welcome back to the Bob and Top Show in the O'Reilly Auto Parts studios. Think O'Reilly Auto Parts for all your car care needs. Get the parts of service you need fast from the professional parts people at O'Reilly Auto Parts. There's Christy Lee. Hello. She's at the news desk. There's Pat Godwin. Hey, chick. Got the guitar over there. Ready to go. There's Josh Arnold. Hi. There's Ace Cosby. Howdy. I'm Chick McGee. Did not want to get up this morning at the orangeinsouls.com sports desk. The only thing that kept me going was seeing all your fine faces. You know, isn't that bad? I'm still glad you came in. It really got me up and got me. I can't do it. I can't. No, no more happy talk. I can't do it. I hate it. Hi, Tom. Maybe this will wake you up. Okay. Yesterday, you had a list of unusual names in sports. Yes, I did. You covered a bunch of them. Rusty Coons? Yes. Spelled awkwardly? Yeah, K-U-N-T-Z. Yes, sir. I'm surprised that isn't the name of a lady porn star with red hair. Okay. Of a certain age. Right. I want to say there was, when I was a kid, one of the first naked ladies was a red-haired lady named Rusty, I think. Rusty. You are exactly right. Right. Who am I thinking of? Like Rusty Titsworth? It's something like, boy, this isn't right, but I want to say Storm or Typhoon or there was a very famous redheaded stripper. A burlesque lady maybe? How old do you think I am? Rusty Typhoon or something? Rusty Red Springs. I want to say Storm. Yeah. There's something about weather in that one more. Yeah. Rusty, is it pronounced Kuntz? Yes. He was Kansas City Royal? I believe so, yes. There was Johnny Dickshot, Pittsburgh Pirate. Right. Stubby Clap, I believe, Josh. Oh, sure, Cardinal. Cardinal, Stubby Clap. Chubby Cox, Baltimore Bullet. Did you have this one, Kyle Sackrider? I don't think I did, but that sounds familiar. I think maybe college. Tempest Storm. That's it. That's where I got Typhoon from. Yeah. And you did have Luscious Pusey, right? Oh, yeah. Is that Luscious? It's Lucius, probably. Lucius. Probably Lucius. Lucius Pusey. Right. They're both long U's. Yeah, sure. Otherwise, it would be Luscious. Okay. Ron Tugnut. We didn't have this one. Steve Ho You Fat. We did have that. Yeah, yeah. Okay. Ho You Fat. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Well, just some great names in the world of sports. Time now to... Well, what about Josh's favorite hockey name? Shattenkirk? Oh, I love Kevin Shattenkirk. Kevin Shattenkirk, he's retired now. Wasn't there something interesting about the number he wore? 22, and they called him... His Twitter handle at the time was Shat Deuces. That's great. That's right. Wow. There's a picture of him with William Shatner. I had an awkward encounter with Kevin Shattenkirk I didn't mean for it to be I was in the Blues locker room and TJ Oshie was getting ready to go to the 2016 Olympics and I was talking to him and I was like man that is so awesome that's going to be so great and it ended up being amazing if you remember he did all those shootout goals but he he goes well let's take a picture and Kevin Shattenkirk was there and he goes, you want me to take the picture? I was like, oh yeah, that'd be great. So he takes the picture of TJ and I, and then I was like, thanks, and I left. As I was leaving, I went, oh man, Kevin's going to the Olympics too, and I probably could have got a picture with him. Treated him like he was a nobody. Right, they took our picture. But I mean, it's cool that he volunteered. Oh, I mean, that's very cool, yeah, yeah. But I was like, oh, I love Kevin Shattenkirk, why did I ignore him? This actually leads to a sensitive topic. Whenever I, like I'll be at Disney World and I'll see some guy taking a picture of his family. Yes. And I'm the guy that walks up and goes, hey, you want to be in one? Right. I do that. I do that all the time. Yeah, it's nice. It is nice. Some other people in my party sometimes find that irritating. Really? No, what I do is I mind my own business. That's also nice. Yeah, that's very nice. But then when I do it, of course, you know me, I have to direct. Well, that's not. Oh, no, no. Well, I say that only makes it more water. Wait a second. I want to see the castle. Tall guy over there. Oh, well, see that. That's literally that progressive commercial with Dr. That's exactly right. Yeah, well, I've been doing it forever. And it's especially funny when the people don't speak English. Oh. Oh, my God. I bet you get big laughs. I bet he slips slightly into what accent he thinks. Oh, yeah. No, you slip into a major accent and you talk louder. No, I can do like these. You know, an indivisible continent. I like to speak on behalf of the room. We didn't need an example. Really? Are we supposed to be reading letters here? Dear Bob and Tom show, this is a chick letter. Dear chick, I'm driving my pickup truck this morning. He's got stuff in the back. All right. Thank you, David. Cedar Falls, Iowa. That's the letter. Yep. I flashed your park this morning at Walmart. This is from Trucker Daryl in Paxaco, Kansas. Now, historically, you've gone on record as saying the flasher parking is the only way to go. And this is where you pull right in front of the front door and leave the flashers on and get out of the car. Handicapped? No. Waiting for an open space? Flasher parked. Haven't you claimed to do a full grocery run? Yes. So far, my record is 47 minutes being flasher parked. Was your battery dead when you came out? No, no, no. I have a very nice car. It hangs in there. He flashed apart to Walmart I got away with it It felt like a god Dear Bob and Tom show Listen to your show every morning My drive to work Thanks for making my days bearable Lisa I want to let you know I live along the St. Lawrence River In northern New York I believe that's the seaway We not only get to enjoy The aroma of the local dairy farms We also get the scent from the starch factory across the river in Canada. Oh, goodness. To give you an idea, imagine the smell of thousands of burning pumpkins mixed with cow manure. Oh! I keep my windows closed. Well, thank you, Lisa. From Canton, New York. Not the home of the Football Hall of Fame. Right, a different Canton. Named, of course, after, what is it, Canton, China? Canton? Canton. I don't know what Canton, Ohio's name. I don't know. I would assume. Lawrence Canton. Maybe there was a guy named that. Christy, you have a letter? Yes. Dear fellows and lady, this comes to us from John Clampett in Chino Valley, Arizona. He was the twin, John and Jed Clampett. Yeah. Tom, this is for you. Yes. I have Roku as my streaming service. Last night in a sidebar, they were advertising a documentary called Fart. Immediately thought of you, Tom. Thank you. Thanks for all the laughs as I work away. Wow. What causes farts? I don't know what it's about. Do you fart too much? How much is too much? Do I fart enough? Right. P.S. Chick? Yeah. Last night I got into bed and went to sleep. Nice. Does the pitch change with age? Pitch? I think so. I think so. It's deeper. Mine has... Oh, I heard. My father's got more higher pitch. Really? Yeah, I think so, yeah. My mother's got deeper. And when she walks... Oh, by the way, the spinning you're hearing near the gravesite. By the way... You know what? She's dead. What's she going to do? Want me more? Have you noticed that I've noticed that I can't control it anymore? Like if I'm up walking around, parts come out, man. That's what I'm happy with my mother. You're like a bird. Yeah, I have no say. I have no say over my anus. Well, you have an opportunity here to help someone in Linden, Pennsylvania. Jack, by the way, he says, Chick, 10 miles from Little League World Series Museum. Nice. He goes, Chick, I was curious about your policy about squirrels. I know your policy about geese. Right. Now, you know, I'll just go over it real quick. I don't speed up, but I don't slow down either. If a goose is in the way and he can't, they get it. I'm sorry. I don't do evasive driving to get around. No. Straight ahead. Because you know why? Because you see these, well, I tried to get out of the way of a deer and I went into the ditch. Oh, no. That's not happening to me, pal. Right straight ahead. But a goose. The goose could fly. Why doesn't it just fly over the world? Why is he walking? There's a goose ghost graveyard right up here. I know. They go between two ponds and there's an apartment complex. And there's a dead seat there all the time. I laugh. They're so entitled. So entitled. They're so funny. What I hate about them, though, is they've ruined one of the trails I like to walk on with my dogs because it's just a mile of goose poop along the canal. Well, at least you can see it. Can't we just pick them off and send them back home? My policy towards squirrels. We are still talking about the geese, right? My policy towards squirrels. No, it's people with accents. And what is that? So the same thing. I don't speak. The only thing I will do, somewhat evasive driving with a raccoon, because I think they're kind of cute. I would consider this a request, Pat. All right. This is also from Jack. You got talking about Eddie Grant yesterday. Tom mentioned he was in a band called The Equals. Please stop. Eddie Grant, I love that song, Electric Avenue. And I love the song by The Equals, an old one called Come Back, Baby Come Back. Great song. I don't know if Eddie's still around. He can't be. He can't possibly be. Staying on that subject, The Equals, of course, named after the artificial sweetener. We don't know that. Of course. Do you remember the band The Sugar Cubes? Anybody? No. Lead singer Bjork. Oh, really? They had one minor hit. So then singer was in quotes. Yeah. You're not a Bjork fan? Oh, Oh So Quiet. I love that song. I think you're a Bjork fan. You guys don't like Oh So Quiet? I don't know this guy. She's quirky. Here's my content. People who like Bjork just say it so they can see the look on the other person's face. I think that's legitimate. Check Family Guy had a game show called, is it Bjork or Bobcat? And it was, they played audio and you had to decide if it was Bjork or Bobcat or Old Way. Nice. So they played it and it was just, blah, blah, blah. Are they geniuses? They are geniuses. That is a funny notion. So, Pat, when we come back, can we have your Eddie Grant tribute? Sure, sure. Which we'll be happy to set up. If you want to reach us via letter, email us your best bet. Bobandtom at bobandtom.com. We'd love to hear from you. And coming up today, we have Sexy Time with Allie Breen. We're going to meet a new comedian. Maggie Hughes-Dapallo will be joining us here in the studio. Certainly looking forward to that. MHD. Right now, I'm going to look over at Christy Lee and say, hey, you know, you being a mom and everything. Yeah. It's my understanding that Mother's Day is just around the corner. Yes, in June. What does that mean? May. When is Mother's Day? May. May. May. May. You don't even know? I don't know. You're in the receiving end of this. Mother, may I? Oh, we'll get up. Mother, may I sleep with danger? I bring it up because it's the season for jewelry. May 10th is Mother's Day. And not just jewelry, those great roses every year. Steven Singer has a new one. Steven Singer Jewelers. You'll find them, of course, oddly enough, at IHateStevenSinger.com. What's going on for Mother's Day? Well, of course, you can't go wrong with bracelets, necklaces. Are you kidding? Yes. Earrings. The Atlas bracelet is one of my favorites. But also, those 24-carat gold-dipped roses, another new one. This time, it's the Sunrise 24-carat gold-dipped rose from Steven Singer Jewelers. Its description follows. It captures the colors of the morning sunrise with sparkling blue fading to pinkish-purple into a warm golden yellow. It's stunning. Steven's gold-dipped roses. These are real roses, by the way, dipped in actual 24-carat gold, guaranteed to last a lifetime, just like the love of a mother. How about that? Yeah, that's great. They arrive in a beautiful gift box, and this is the staggering point. Free shipping. What? Nobody does that anymore, especially these days. Free shipping from Steven Singer Jewelers. If you want to check these out, go to IHateStevenSinger.com. The sunrise rose, just $89. Aha, bah humbug to the price of gold, says Steven. I'm going to make these really available. And by the way, they're only available at IHateStevenSinger.com. So celebrate the moms in your life with a nice gold-dipped rose or a bracelet or a necklace from Stephen Singer Jew. Stephen is my guy. Thank you so much, Stephen. He recently helped me out in a big way, and I always appreciate it. He's also got a very cool dog named Buddy. Stephen's doing great, I understand. And I just talked with his assistant the other day. So all is well in that world. So do something nice. Go to Stephen Singer and get something nice for one of those moms in your life. We're going to be coming back with the song from Mr. Godwin. and more of your letters. I'm looking forward to it here in the O'Reilly Auto Parts studios. This is the Bob and Tom Show. Hey, thanks for listening this morning. Got something to say? Send us an email. Bob and Tom at BobandTom.com Winner. Hey, welcome back to the Bob and Tom Show in the O'Reilly Auto Parts studios. That's Josh Arnold. Yes, he's over there at the I.H. Steven Singer sidekick chair. There's Pat Godwin. Hello, chick. Ready with the guitar. There's Christy Lee. Hi. She's at the news desk. There's Ace Cosby. Hi, I'm Jake McGee at the OrangeInsoles.com sports desk. Hello, Tom. Got all sorts of sports for you this morning. Oh, good. Just for Tom. Before we get to that, we have kind of a semi-request here mentioning Eddie Grant. Oh, is this for truckers? No, this is for... You said a semi-request. Jack in Linden, Pennsylvania. Jack, I'm not sure what you do, but I'm sure it's good and we appreciate it. Ah. We were talking about Eddie Grant He had that great That big hit in the MTV era Electric Avenue And I mentioned how much I enjoyed his band Prior to that, The Equals Baby Come Back But we had a news story yesterday about Baby Come Back, that was Player It really was Tom's thinking of Baby Come Back Some would say the fulcrum Of Yacht Rock Baby Come Back I much prefer The Equals I'm sure you do. I do, too. More soulful. Yeah. You know what I mean? Where was I? Oh, so the news story was this place in England, this guy, or I assume it's a guy, was drawing primitive drawings of the male member. Actually, not just that. It was a full phallus. Typically, the two orbs and the accompanying shaft, if you will. Penis and chest. By the way, Eddie Grant is still alive. He's 78 and lives in Barbados. Oh, cool. I was just in Barbados. I could have visited. Yeah. How's his sister Pell? She helped me out with my college money. Oh, really? You had a Pell grant. I'm still giving it away. Can I classify that in the joke category you created earlier today? What was it called again? Jokes for Noah. Okay, very good. Thank you very much. No, that was nice. In any event. I had a Pell grant. Do we have a picture of the aforementioned Penai that were drawn? And so we're assuming it's a guy who's drawing these in the roads where there were big potholes. Yeah, to call attention to them so that they would fill them in England. Boy, they sure did. And they filled them up. And they quickly. And I need to get a can of spray paint. There's one right down here on the street. A guy actually put an orange cone in it. There's one by Jeff and I's house like that. He put a big orange cone in the center. You know, Tom's one of those people that if he sees an offending bush jutting out into the road, he will get his weed trimmer and go out there and trim the bush back. Even if it's not yours. Especially if it's not yours. If he can't see the turn. Right. He'll go make the necessary. I also go up and down my street. Okay, there, by the way. Not on Heroes Workage. On the screen, there's one of the fallacies. That one's got four. That one's got a lot going on there. There's hairs at the tip. Well, there's hairs on the... Right, they almost look like sun. Maybe that's... That's going to be... Maybe that's... Yeah, but then it's coming out of four places? Well, you know. And that isn't a particularly large chuck hole. I wouldn't even be concerned about that. That's more of a... That's just somebody... Yeah, that's kind of a small indentation type of... Yes, but... That might just be a guy who wanted to spray paint a penis out. Don't you have one where the... Jason, you had one yesterday that was a genuine chuck. There we go. Whoa. That one's not too bad. Well, the shaft's way off, right? Yeah, it's way too small for those. Gigantic nuts. Yeah, exactly. And it's a tinier... In any of it, since it's in England, we called this graffiti artist Wanksy, which led us into a discussion. I guess they've uncovered who Wanksy is. I don't want to know. I like that whole stealth thing. But, Pat, you have a tribute to using this technique to get potholes filled. Driving home late from Detroit. It's dark and no orange cones. Lost in a strange part uptown. No place to break down alone. Oh, no. I hit a pothole on Deflictive Avenue. Then I bust a tire. I hit a pothole on a neglected avenue I'll call David Dwyer Dyer See, he was in Michigan, you see, and that's where Dyer lived It's like a joke, waiting for help at a strip club On a Motown amateur night I sent a $10 Pepsi Lap dance costs $45 Good God, I hit a pothole on a neglected avenue Now I'm hanging with the strippers. This is all true, brother. I hit a pottle hole on the deflected avenue. Oh, she's rubbing on my zipper. Good God! I wonder what happened there. We have to leave it to our imagination. I was on the phone with God when he called me. Boom! Right in the middle of the phone call. He hit the chuckle and has a pullover. And you really ended up in a strip club. Yeah. Amateur night, that's all true. I kind of had my back to the ladies. I was a little nervous. Did you get to vote on the amateurs? No, I didn't know if it was a contest. I was very scared. Oh, okay. Were you, I would have been terrified. Amateur night can be absolutely filthy. Really? But they're not really amateurs. Well, some of them are, it's almost like open micers. They there every week So they get better and better Almost always though someone pushes the limits But they not working You exactly right Chick It gets insane Oh, yeah. Really? Yeah. I would think it would be the opposite, because they would be shy and not knowing what they're doing. Sometimes they come from other clubs. Yeah, they do. They'll travel and try to make the ringers. Gotcha. It really is like an open mic night at a company. Interesting, interesting. We have time for one more letter. Who's going to take it? Dear Bob and Tom's show, we went to the Rays-Cubs game at Tropicana Field yesterday. This is from Joe in Sarasota. Fun. They drove out, Tom, hold on to yourself, a supercharged golf cart with a huge Gatlin gun on it that shot 35 to 40 t-shirts in a row to the crowd. I've seen these. Have you seen it? It's amazing. We need one of them. Here it comes. Look at it. Oh, my. That is a T-shirt gun and then some. Yeah, it's huge. It perched on the back. Oh, there's steam coming out of it, and here comes the T-shirts. Oh, yeah. Boom, boom, boom. Look at that. Man, oh, man. That is. You know, I remember sitting in the nosebleeds as a kid, because often we got free tickets from school or something, and I would see the T-shirts go, I don't know, maybe 10 rows in. Boy, the rich get richer, don't they? Boy. And we poor folk up here get nothing. But see, it's a game. I haven't changed it all, have I? No, I think these T-shirt cannons, some of them you can get to the upper deck. Well, I know. Some can get to the front row of the upper deck, yeah. Still keep getting richer. Well, thank you very much for that. You're welcome. We appreciate it. Coming up, we have sexy time with Allie Breen, of course. And we do have a letter asking a question about our youth. All of our reviews. So, yeah, we'll explore that. And an Andy Griffith-related letter on the way. We had our Andy Griffith expert in the building. Yeah. And baseball action last night? Yes, of course. But they also had base brawl. Oh, melee. A fight. A lot of... I'm concerned. I'll show you the video. A lot of slap fighting going on. Dude, you're exactly right. No. They didn't really want to fight, but they're... They can be pansy. Yes. Okay, well, we'll get to that coming up. From the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios, this is the Bob and Tom Show. Hey, thanks for listening to the Bob and Tom Show this morning. Get a look at today's show on our YouTube channel. Listen up. Huh? That means you. Yes, you. We know you're pointing at yourself. When it comes to Paddy Power Games, we've got a place made for all sorts. From the experts to the drama queens. It's me, the GC. The finance bros. Look at those stocks, lads. We'll stick with slots. It's what we're good at. And not forgetting you. Yes, you, the one listening. Because at Paddy Power Games, we've got all sorts of games for all sorts of treacles. Eligibility rules and terms and conditions apply. Please gamble responsibly. 18pluscambalaware.org Rolling water! Welcome back to the Bob and Tom Show. We're at the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios. Christy Lee. Yeah, that's it. At the news desk. I'll be that today. Pat Godwin over there with the guitar and the organ. Yepper. Yepper. Yepper. There's Josh Arnold. Ace Cosby's here. Hello. I'm Chick McGee at the OrangeInsouls.com sports desk. And I'm sure you're wondering the Masters starts tomorrow, competition. What are they having at this year's Champions Dinner? Rory McIlroy gets to choose the menu this year. Oh, sure. Okay. Actually, he starts with a joke, Tom. I know how you like this. The menu is not exactly a representative of his home country of Northern Ireland. He said, a lot of people keep asking me, why didn't I go more Irish with the menu? And I said, because I want to enjoy the dinner as well. Whoa. Oh, ho. Not known for their cuisine. Exactly. Oh, look, a beautiful filet mignon. Let's boil it. That's cool. There we go. I don't golf. I do watch it. Not all the time, but a lot. And the Masters, I get oddly emotional. No kidding. Yeah, maybe it's just because I... The delivery? The delivery? The announcers. They act like it's a religious thing. Oh, I don't know. Jesus Christ couldn't have played this whole thing. I think it's just these guys probably dreamt about it when they were seven. And there's something about that. And it's so beautiful. I know. It's really. Well, Byron, of course, the seventh hole, I typically ejaculate when I see it. That's something. You know, I regret sharing. Do you have a question for us, Josh? It's really done, yeah. Oh, yeah. I do. And it actually is in regards to food. Yesterday, we had some discussions about the great Carl Buttig. Yep. and his lunch meats. Amazing. Lived on them, yes. Yeah, yeah. Now, they may have been semi-regional. Pat had never heard of it. Never. But for those... Us poor kids, we know exactly what it is. Now, the point of reference was orange insoles. Well, that doesn't matter. That absolutely doesn't matter. Orange insoles are better in your shoes than Carl Butting's lunch and meats. I was going to get to that at 837. You weirdo. What means you don't just say, we were talking about Carl Butting. Why not? That's how conversation works. Why not? That's how conversation works. You don't have to go over, having to go back four shows and doing two hours of those shows. The founding of who's Carl Butting and how he got into the meat business. I've never met a radio genius who has no idea how radio should work. No. I know. And takes you down. Sometimes people just stick around to see if we're going to fall off the high wire again. I'm sorry. Which is the thrill. Carl Budde. Right, right. He can't do it. It's a very, they're very famous. Well, now wait. Now. Let him talk. No, no, no. Now I'm interested. I'm intrigued. What would you have said? I thought we would have gone back to 1982. A story better. That would make it relatable. Well, I did. People wonder, why are we discussing one particular brand of luncheon? No, they don't. No, they don't. No, they don't. What is weird? That's what we do. Oh, God. What, no, Hillshire Farms? Well, that's coming up. Don't worry about it. Right, right. Go ahead. All right, this is just, this opens up a lot of. Go ahead. Let it out, baby. Let it out. You're just emotional because the Masters are coming. You've already said you cry watching the golf tournament. You're right. You are right. It is the emotions we're running. That poor millionaire, Mrs. V. Schrapp, his net worth will only be $100 million. I'm not saying it's logical, but I do get oddly emotional during the ending and stuff. But I get emotional about my lawn. Oh, you do? Do you? I wish they could. I get up in front yard like the fairway at number eight. So, yes, we were discussing Carl Buttig, and Michael writes in. Michael from Minot. He says. Why not Minot? Yes. He says that those were always in his sack lunch. Mm-hmm. You know, a great Carl Budding sandwich. Mm-hmm. But he asks, what was in your sack lunch when you would go to school? Oh, that's easy. Yes. I would have fluffernutter sandwiches, which is peanut butter and marshmallow cream. Recommended by the American Dental Association. Yeah, on a nice white bread and usually applesauce and some kind of cookie, like a chocolate chip cookie or something. Was there a particular brand? We were a Chips Ahoy family. Yes. Yes. Very nice. Yes. That's pretty much what I ate my whole life until I got into the ham, the Carl Budding ham on toast, which I really liked. Nice. What is nutter? What did you say? Peanut butter and marshmallow cream sandwich. I've never had one of those. Fluff or nutters. Fluff or nutters. I've never had one. I'm well aware of them, but I've never had one. Now, did you see what happened yesterday in space? No. They were doing a mini press conference. Did you see this, Ace? And a jar of Nutella floated by. Oh, cool. They're calling it the greatest product placement in the history of the space program. I never had heard of Nutella until like five years ago or something. It floats right across the... Right across the spacecraft. And they're saying that was just an accident? Yeah. Huh. What about you, Pat? For me, peanut butter and jelly and probably a bag of chips and some milk. Yeah. Hmm. Oh, we had chocolate milk. We always had chocolate milk. But we got that at school. That wasn't part of our lunch. Oh, so you'd get like a quarter to buy it. I was never a sack. I was a free lunch program kid. Oh, we made sack lunch. And got bullied to all hell for that. Oh, I'm sorry. Oh. Our grade school didn't have a lot of lunch. They didn't make it discreet at all. No, I think they do now. When I was a kid, I had to whip out this bright orange card, and the lunch lady had to try to find where the puncher was, and I would slow up the line, and man, just get ripped into. That's probably why you're funny. Oh, yeah. I think you get bullied when you're a kid. Sure. I never took my lunch. I always bought. It was 35 cents for lunch. I always had my 35 cents. We didn't have a hot lunch. Oh. My favorite lunch was peanut butter. Junior high. Peanut butter and jelly and chili. They serve those together. Nice. My favorite luncheon. A bowl of chili. Scabs, they call them. Breaded veal cutlets. Did you ever take a sack lunch ever? To camp. Did your day camp. Field trips, we got to take a sack lunch. Who packed your lunch? Was that the upstairs maid? I didn't do a sack lunch. There was a cafeteria. Yeah. Oh, Tommy, I have your lunch packed for you. Now in elementary school, I'd walk home. You'll notice I have a kielbasa put in there for you, y'all. Because it's... Oops. What are you, drunk? Because this kielbasa reminds me of your huge hot snooker. You might find a special Polaroid at the home. Oh, yeah. Polaroids of Paula. Whatever taste might seem familiar to you. I catch you staring at these milk jugs of mine. You have said that she was a busty woman. In every way she was large. Oh, how about that ass? I would have loved to have met her. The round round of sound. I bet she was just the sweetest. Yes, she was. Very thick German accent. She'd be on the phone with her sister Helga. Helga and Paula. I'd seen enough World War II era films. I thought they were plotting something. Takeover. Not a pretty language, German. It's a bit aggressive. Yeah, it always sounds like they're plotting something. It may be very romantic. Dear Bob and Tom, you were talking about the movie Breaking Away. It's one of the best movies ever. Writes Ken. And I'm a big fan. Please stop. Don't say it. Why were we talking about it? When did that movie come out? When did you bring that up? The larger question is, what is a movie? I simply don't understand what you're talking about. I was a little tired. It was just a couple weekends. Now, is the movie an actual reporting of what's going on that day? It's because I played this on the air. Refund! Please stop. Why would you let me do that? Why would you play? Refund! It's a great scene. Yes, me. It's a funny and wonderful movie. The worst. Go ahead. Is that Paul? Paul Dooley. The Dooley, yeah. I almost said Paul Mooney. Paul Dooley. That would be a whole different movie. Tom says that's his favorite scene. I like the scene where he said, I should have hit him when I had the chance he'd be dead now. That always cracks me up. And what neighborhood touch does this guy kill? I think maybe it was his son. I highly recommend the movie Breaking Away. Give it a chance. I think you'll like it. That is a good point. Now, speaking of important things, Greg Warren is going to be going back to his hometown at the Gloyes Theater coming up this Saturday night. Got this letter from Sam. Sammy! He is going to go see that show. He's a big Greg Warren fan. He's seen him before. That's all the letter says? I'm just going to go see Greg Warren? No, it says you had T.J. Miller on your show. He's also coming to Springfield. I can't wait to see him live. So this is basically this guy out on the town and telling us about it, right? Thirdly, the letter continues. What else is he going to do? I drive by the French's French Fried Onion Factory every day on my way to work. That must be heaven. He doesn't particularly care for the smell, apparently. Oh. Rather strong. Then he says, Josh is my favorite. Oh. Then he says, Josh, can you please say Sammy? Sammy. Sammy. I'm assuming that's what he wanted Context? No idea And I don't either This is why I asked Oh, is Sammy a name or is that slang? What's going on? I invite him to write back and explain what it is he would like to hear Is that a cookie? A Sammy? You mean a Samoa? Yeah Is that slang for Samoa? I found Samoa whipped cream chick I found Samoa flavored whipped cream. It is delicious. This is Samoa, the cookie, not the people. Yeah, no, it's not. You know what? It's not Moana. Hey, I take everything. Once you taste the Samoa. Boy, there's nothing better than a nice taste of a Samoa. Pacific Islander. You get you going. I like to post them in a big pot like in the cartoon strip. That smells good. What's for dinner? Oh, thank you very much. I know what's for dinner at Chick's house. That's right. Simply Safe. Oh. The do-it-yourself, design-it-yourself home security system unlike any other, much like the Masters. Simply Safe, they have a better way. Comprehensive protection, sensors, cameras, 24-7 monitoring. But on your terms, easily customize the system just right for you. Go to SimpliSafe.com, app-guided setup, no drilling required. You don't have to wait for a technician to be between the hours of 2 and 9. No, not with SimpliSafe. They have cameras and an ecosystem of sensors inside and down, 24-7 professional monitoring. And in the event of a break-in, fire, or flood, SimpliSafe's agents are ready to take action. And remember, no long-term contracts with SimpliSafe either. No lock-ins or hidden cancellation fees. SimpliSafe earns your business by keeping you safe, not by trapping you in a contract. Affordable pricing, too, 24-7 monitoring, a fraction of what the traditional brands charge. And Newsweek names SimpliSafe America's best customer service. And you can experience the same peace of mind we all do. I do at home, and we do here at the Bob and Tom Studios. We have partnered with SimpliSafe to this offer. offer. It's an unbelievable exclusive discount for Bob and Tom show listeners. Right now, get 50% off your new system. Just visit simplysafetom.com. That's all you have to do. And then decide what system's best for you. It's all up to you. That's half off at simplysafetom.com. Remember, there's no safe like Simply Safe. Thank you very much, Chick McGee. Coming up, comedian Maggie Hughes-Dapallo will be joining us. And her visit, of course, brought to you by Lee's Famous Recipe Chicken. Also, it'll be Allie Breen with Sexy Time. Her visit brought to you by hotness. We are in the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios. This is the Bob and Tom Show. Hey, welcome back to the Bob and Tom Show. We are in the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios. There's Christy Lee. Hi. In her life vest for the Titanic. Like wearing a hug. Oh, how nice. A little down vest that keeps me warm. An armless hug, really? Kind of. Yeah, I guess. Have you been hugged by a man with no arms? It's hard to do. Tom, your thoughts? Is this one of those philosophical things I've got to worry about? What is the sound of one man clapping? It's the sound of some douchebag asking you a dumb question. Would I be the douchebag? Ordinarily, no, but when you ask questions like that, yes. There's Pat Conwin. Hey, chick. Hey, man. There's Josh Arnold. Hi. He's at the I Hate Steven Singer sidekick chair. There's Ace Cosby. I'm Chick McGee at theorangeinsoles.com. Or sit in the classroom and say to yourself, life is many days. This will end. Just praying for the bell to ring. Okay, kids, don't worry. You'll make it. We'd like to waste your time now as we babysit you. Okay, sorry. Nothing but contempt over there. I know. Everybody. This thing yesterday, the space shot is so cool. And I was watching yesterday, and they're showing the Artemis mission, the Orion capsule. And this jar of Nutella floats by. It's become kind of a famous moment now. I was just so surprised that it was in the original. I just assumed everything on a spaceship like this would be in some kind of government-issue $10,000 jar. It was, you know, square. But it's a jar of Nutella. There it is, right there. Probably, don't they? It looks fake. Because as it gets near the center of the screen, it turns around and you can see Nutella. And the corks are popping at the Nutella corporate office. Oh, man, you imagine. Wouldn't you think that the astronauts are allowed, like, look at that. It's personal items or something? Yeah. I would think everything would have to be repackaged. Maybe a rucksack? You know, full of, like, a razor? I think, doesn't each ask, don't they each take, like, a small toy or something? A toy. They get to take something. I don't know if it's a toy. Oh, all right. So if your kid gives it to you, you can take it up there. You mean, like, a Rubik's Cube? Somebody took one of our CDs, if you'll recall, one time. Yeah, that was cool. But, yeah, there's a, but anyway. But, you know, some of the most common food items that they're serving to the NASA astronauts include vegetable quiche, spicy green beans, couscous with nuts, mango salad. You supposedly vote. Cortillas. Maybe. Or do they each have their own? Yeah, they probably all have their favorites. But if we were going up in space, I might say, you want to watch the beans? I got chicken. God, what? It's an enclosed capsule. They may have that in mind. I bet they get a sheet before they leave and they click, you know, check whatever they want. The kosher meal. Like when you go on the airplanes, you know, they'll sometimes allow you to pick a meal. And is it true that they do give them some kind of chemical or something so that their bodily functions are limited? And the whole diet. And this morning driving in, this toilet has been a huge problem. It's still broken. There are only a lot of two-flavored beverages a day, which may include coffee. I could not do that. I mean, I know this is a really expensive thing. Why doesn't NASA sell all this? What do you mean sell it? Yeah, this should be where they're allowed, you know, whatever. They're allowed one Pepsi every day. Oh. I mean, this thing for Nutella just is by chance. You want sponsor dollars. There are reasons why. Yeah. But they put it out for bidding. Well. Hey, look. That would invite me to various behavior. Maybe we landed in the wrong ocean because Jack Daniels was sponsoring our morning. Pat, do you have a song? Since they're on the dark side of the moon, how about some Pink Floyd, a little Pink Floyd tribute? I would love that. Did you get the whole intro? He was just about to sing. I mean, his lips were open. You can't shut up. You're a high second. Jell-O, Jell-O, Jell-O. Yeah. I'd love some Jell-O pudding. Please. Can't have any pudding. If you don't eat your meat. Yes. Bravo. Up here in space. There's many foods to choose from. Tacos and tortillas. Jeez. I think I've had my fill. They give you pills to slow digestion My stomach feels like a big balloon I have that bloated feeling once again I need relief, but someone's on the can Too much Easter ham, ham I am swole, uncomfortably full. Bravo. Very nice. The pudding joke makes life worth living. And did you see the fabulous pictures they sent back from the space, the dark side of the moon? Amazing. Yes. Did you see the eclipse? There it is. There it is. Isn't that something? Who knew there was a gluteal clap? Wow. Well, there's a moon. A little factory air there at the bottom. Yes, he is. Did you see the unfortunate video of a guy diving for a foul ball during a Cubs game yesterday? Is he all right? His pants came down. Oh, okay. Do we have him? His ankles. I think we might have to wait for a bit. Okay. While we were waiting. Glorious. Someone mentioned this yesterday. They have 189 food options on this little tiny spacecraft. And I think somebody said they have a cheesecake factory up there. That is a large, large menu. You've got to have a lunch lady up there and a hairnet, right? Oh, yeah. Extra lima beans. And by the way, this says that the Canadian gent, he was able to bring some stuff that reminded him of Canada. So I'm assuming it must be some kind of space poutine. Or all-dress slays poutine chips. Maybe a Tim Hortons coffee. We have the video of the foul ball being hit, and the gentleman trying to scramble after it. There's a foul ball going into the stands. This happened live last night. And there he is right there. Oh, my God. His pants come all the way down his thighs. That poor man. The back of his knees. He's a big fella. Yeah, he had a whole row to himself, too. Yeah. And it looks like, I'm assuming, and I don't know, but it looks like his pants started a little bit pulled down. Maybe that's the style again. I don't know. Wow. Well, when you're a fatty, fat, fat, fat, fat, you have two choices. Okay. You can get bigger waisted pants that go around your belly button. Right. I hate that. It's not comfortable for me. Which is why I hate suit pants, because they rarely make them so that they go around your waist. Do you like the pants to go way up high? No, I don't want that at all. Like Humpty Dumpty? No, I want it down. So that guy was doing down, but he has no hips to really hang on to the pants. The man should have been wearing suspendies. Yeah. Suspendies. He's going commando, it looks like. I know. What was he doing? That's not a smart idea. But suspenders had a big comeback in that Wall Street movie. Yeah, they did. That fad, fortunately. Did you ever wear suspenders? Oh, it sounds like a yes. Yeah, well, they rented tux a couple times. Oh, okay. As a little kid, and adorable. I bet. A little kid in suspenders is hilarious. Mm-hmm. Larry King wore them, right? Yeah, famously. Yeah, and then he... He had to keep his pants up, I bet. Larry King, he was very slender, but his shoulders would kind of stick up like mountains on the far side of the suspenders. Very bony, man. He was boning. Have they ever been able to smoke in space? No, Tom. I don't think they want any sort of... You think they can vape in space? Would that be... If I were in that capsule and somebody even just lit a lighter, I'd be furious. Do you have any idea how space works? No. Probably. Hey, Mondor, I got off the toilet and light a candle, will you? Oh, yeah, that's a good idea. Okay, sorry. Do you think if you're in space and you have gas, you're propelled backwards? You know what I mean? Maybe. With that reaction, there's an equal. We just recently talked about how ejaculating would send you back a little bit. So a gas must. Yeah, like a little retro. I think that it would probably be, it would have to be a great deal. Yeah, it might be minimal, very minimal. Maybe not even noticeable, but. There's something that happens, I'm sure. Well, we'll move forward. Do we have time to start some sporting news? Well, we got this. Atlanta Braves pitcher Ronaldo Lopez and Los Angeles Angels D.H. Jorge Soler ejected after getting into a base brawl last night. Here's what happened. Soler homered off Lopez in the first, then was hit by a 96-mile-per-hour fastball from the right-handers. Next time up in the fifth, Soler charged them out. Lopez threw a high and inside wild pitch, tipped off the catcher's mitt, and bench is cleared. This is one of those fights where the bullpen from center field, they all come trotting in to join the melee. That's Major League Baseball, Tom. You all have seen the fight break out? Not particularly. Not really. It's always exciting, but it's a lot of nothing. They're not like hockey players. No, no, no, they're not. And we were talking about food last week, new food items at Major League Baseball Parks. Well, we kind of missed this one. And the Braves are now offering a three-pound, seven-inch in diameter. It's called the Bat Flip at Truist Park. Two pounds of beef, a pork belly, short ribs, fried eggs, chipotle, oatly on a brioche bun. Introduced for the 2026 season there. How do you eat that? With four other people. Yeah, you couldn't. You could put your mouth around that. No, but it's a foot-high. doesn't it? It's a foot high. Oh, you just mash that down, cut it all up. It's a size of a plate, a dinner plate in diameter. That's huge. And it's equally high. Yeah. Look at the fried egg on there. How are you going to eat that watching a game? It's so messy. You're in the box. You're in the corner. And you're going to need eight people to eat that with. Yeah, that's kind of a fun thing. I don't know. You're not like sharing your food? No, how about a hot dog? No, I'm with you, but there are people who will enjoy having that. They're not watching the game. I've got to spend 20 minutes divvying up the... We have this year's Master's Dinner menu, chosen by Rory McIlroy, of course. And the appetizers, bacon-wrapped dates. Interesting. Inspired by McIlroy's mom, Rosie. Rosie and Rory. Those, by the way, if you've never had them, really good. They are good. Dates are incredibly sweet. It's like nature's candy. It sure is, but I've never had one bacon-wrapped. Have you? I have. Oh, wow. That's kind of a thing. That would be great. That is kind of an appetizer thing. Waffling with a stick in it. It's sweet and savory. I've had bacon-wrapped, what, watercress? Liver? Yeah, watercress. Bacon-wrapped chicken liver? So you've got bacon-wrapped dates, and then you've got grilled elk sliders. Oh, cool. For an appetizer. Then you've got first course, Yellowfin Tuna Capraccio. That's from McElroy's favorite New York City restaurant. Le something French. Lutess. No, Bernardine. B-E-R-N-A-R-D-I-N. Oh, yeah. The full name is Bernardine Peters. Peters. Yes. Often matched with Steve Martin. It goes well together with Steve Martin. You can have also the main course, Wagyu filet mignon or seared salmon. Nice. I know you choose. You choose salmon. Oh, that sounds good. Sorry to pass up the Wagyu. Wagyu? I would do that. I would have that, yeah. And dessert, you know what he's going to have? Sticky toffee pudding. Is that right? Yeah, isn't that exciting? He's an Irishman, isn't he? He sure is. And he said he got criticized for the menu not being Irish enough, But he said, well, I'd like to enjoy the meal. Well, that's great. Good for him. More sports coming up, including a fabulous world record that you could probably attempt at home. If you have enough clothing, there's your head. Okay. Also coming up, comedian Maggie Hughes DePaulo. Her appearance brought to you by, speaking of great food, Lee's famous recipe chicken. We are in the O'Reilly Auto Parts studios. This is the Bob and Tom Show. Just got to get a hold of us. Call, text, or email. Get all the contact information you need at BobandTom.com. This is the Bob and Tom Show. Concert. Welcome back to the Bob and Tom Show. We're in the O'Reilly Auto Parts studios. Christy Lee at the news desk. Hello. There's Pat Godwin. Hey, Chick. Hey, man. There's Josh Arnold. Hi. There's Ace Cosby. Hello. I am Chick McGee at the OrangeAndSoles.com sports desk. Hello, Tom. Time for our world record, buddy. We have designated Josh. His sidekick chair is officially the Stephen Singer. IHateStevenSinger.com sidekick chair. Stevie Boy. All right. Just in time for Mother's Day. Of course. Now, we have a world record? Yes, and here it is now. Stupid world record. A woman from Arkansas has broken the Guinness World Record for the most fill-in-the-blank during a half marathon by a woman. What do you think the blank? I'm going to say most hats worn. Very, very close. Very close. That would be tricky. Just a tower of hats. Most shoes worn. Another close one. That's right. That's right. T-shirts. Ah. T-shirts. 55 T-shirts. Do we have the picture where she looks like a big fatty fat fat? Oh, yeah. But she's doing it because she used to be a very large woman. Oh, I wonder if those are even her old T-shirts. I bet they are. Good for her. But doesn't she just look like a fat woman running? Yeah, she does. Yeah. Yeah. Meredith Smith beat the previous record after completing the Fort Smith half marathon. Oh, that's right. They named the marathon after her. That is nice. I thought she'd be wearing crop tops. Wearing 55 shirts. Because it was a half marathon. Oh, sure. Yeah, you would want the, I think she'd expose the old midriff there. Half, the crop top. Oh, she should be so proud of herself. Her hair could use that. Well, she was sporting pigtails, wasn't she? Well, she just ran 13. Yeah, I don't want to know the person who showers before a marathon. Come on. That's a vain sign. Probably a lot of tape on those nipples, though, huh? Vaseline them up, baby. That's a real problem, right? Nipples, chafing them. Yeah, and then people vaseline up their thighs and butt crack. Yep. And the head of their pee. Their butt cheeks go like this. Maybe we should vaseline me up. Get a stack of all the T-shirts we've done over the years and see how many you could put on. Yeah, but you'd have to start, you know, we'd have to start with somebody like Christy or any of you guys, somebody thinner. Because we'd have to start medium and then they're going to have to get progressively bigger. Yeah. Yeah, because we've got a ton of those old classic shirts. Because if you start with like a double extra, you're just wasting space. Right. You really are, yeah. We're going to start reissuing those, by the way. Start with small. Oh, some of the throwback? That's kind of a demand for some of the old, old T-shirts. This challenge... Well, there's a demand for the office that they're all in. That's very funny. The challenge was more than a stunt. It symbolized her personal fitness journey. She's completed more than 80 races and lost over 80 pounds since she started running in 2013. How many shirts did she have on again, I'm sure? 55. That would have been where she lost the wet T-shirt contest at the end of the race. Yeah, I mean, they even use a fire hose. Not a bump. Nothing. Nothing. Good on her. Congratulations. What the astronauts are doing? Yeah. Difficult. The only thing harder is for a woman to lose weight. Their bodies just for whatever it is. Their bodies don't want to, whatever it is. Yeah, wait until you get through menopause. When you diet with a, like, if I ever dieted with a girlfriend or somebody. And they get so mad because you drop weight. Hey, I'm going to switch to diet soda, lose 10 pounds in a week. And she's doing everything and loses half a pound. We just had this conversation the other night at dinner. It's baffling. I'm having a shrimp. Would you like another bowl of sand? Oh, man. Hang on. Did you hear that? Well, guys just drink so much faster. They had that conversation at dinner. Trying to eat better and get a better shape. Sure. Summer. Why don't you eat better? Did Andy say, please pass the hemlock? I don't have enough in my... Hi. Can you go start the car? I'm going to go sit in the garage. Is that right? I'm going to go make my arsenic quiche. Is that sports? Yes. Okay. Thank you very much. We'll segue over to Christy Lee. She's at the Bob and Tom News Desk. I don't know where... Why would she talk to us now? Yeah. I don't know where I want to go here because... It's all poop? No, it's not all poop today. I love that show. I know you do. All poop. Tonight on All Poop. Alligators, you never got to be alligators. You ever talk about alligators? All right, I was kidding. Carol, put your arm in the burned off hole. What do you got? Well, well, Jean, it's all poop. Grab a story, Jean. Well, wait a minute. It must be wombats. It's cubes poop. That's right. Pat, you said alligator. By golly, I have a story. I was joking. Authorities in Florida captured an alligator that moseyed up to the tiki bar. How are you doing? All the Tom Collins, please. Sure. The Stuart Police Department. We have a direct name after you. Oh, yeah. Irving? Never. Said officers were called to a local tiki bar about an unexpected guest. The authorities report the gator was eventually captured, removed off the premises, without incident. Like a martini on the cross. Very nice. No injuries in that. This is out, right? There's some drug at the bar going, well, that bitch, she sure got leathery skin. Probably been in the sun too much. That'll happen in Florida, you know. He was relocated to a more suitable venue. Yeah, a more suitable venue would be a handbag. It would be more suitable. Doesn't there have to be some guy named Albert Gator? I hope so. Come on. Gator is the one. Yeah, I hope so, right? Al Gator? Albert Edwin Gator? Yes. Al E. Gator. Please. Please. Come on. That would make me believe in humans again if we had an Al E. Gator. We have a whole bunch of Florida stories today. They rescued a woman in Florida who jumped into a canal to save her dog. Never a good idea, though. Man, I would. I wouldn't even give a second thought. Does this story have an alligator in it, too? The woman was walking her six-year-old dog, Cookie, along a canal in Hallandale Beach when he fell into the water. Well, that's an appetizer and an entree. Damn it, Cookie. She panicked and jumped in after the dog, but soon found she was unable to get out herself. First responders were called to the scene where they rushed in with a ladder and helped the pair out of the canal. I'd like to think Cookie was on shore wagging her tail watching her drown. That's what I'd like. Get the dog out, John. Is there something wrong with me that... that... Wanted an alligator to be in there? No, when I saw the headline, I thought, I'm not going to give you the story if the dog doesn't make it. Oh, no, there's nothing wrong with that. No, of course not. But it is funny that if she hadn't made it, we'd probably still do the story. Yeah, as long as the dog got out of it. Right, right. And by the way, this gets to my point. I don't think it's a smart idea to name your dog after food. I know you have a cat named Gravy. Yeah. And if Gravy's going to escape on a Saturday night, you're walking around your neighborhood in your underwear yelling out Gravy and people call the cops. Yeah. That looks like Arnold's hungry again. What's he yelling? Gary? No, it's gravy. Veterinarian saved a yellow lab after she ate seven Easter eggs. Real quick, that other story. Oh, yeah. So they put a ladder in the water. The woman climbs out. The dog climbs out. I'd like to think an alligator climbed out with a fake mustache. Thank God you saved us. Well, you're welcome, sir. Wait a minute. I mean, would you go into a canal in Florida? No. No, but I mean, I'd check right. Yeah, obviously the dog. Oh, yeah. Our instinct, yeah. Yeah, after your dog. Pat, you're going there. Oh, my gosh. And you always hear about these, the people with little dogs. I don't imagine cookies, you know, large dogs. I'm guessing cookies. You'll hear about, you know, they're walking them, and all of a sudden the gator comes out of the bush and grabs the dog. Yep. She's no bigger than a popcorn fart. This dog was saved after eating seven chocolate Easter eggs by a veterinarian. Owner Katrina Gordon had arranged a display of the chocolate eggs for her three-year-old son. But while they were briefly out, their dog, Holly, tore through the packaging and devoured nearly everything. Oh, she didn't know. They rushed Holly to the emergency clinic where, of course, they encouraged vomiting. And Holly is now recovering. Ms. Gordon hopes that by sharing her family's story, she can raise awareness of the dangers of leaving chocolate around dogs. Well, you know why the dog ate the chocolate. Why? Even dogs hate peeps. Come on. Let's get real here. To encourage vomiting, they showed her episodes of Happy's Place. Did you say it was a yellow lab? It would have been a chocolate lab. But isn't it only one kind of chocolate? Yeah, and I've heard, depending on the size of the dog. How much they ate. But is it just dark chocolate? We should probably get done this I don know if that the case Maybe I say just don give your dogs chocolate Be safer sour here Is that right Yeah Don give your dogs But see I have a dog that counter too If you leave anything out, Leo will eat it. So, yeah, be careful. Well, it looks like a turd to them, so of course they're going to eat it. They're dogs. Oh, yeah, Tootsie Rolls you never want. Yeah, they will look. A neighborhood turd. Have you had the yak recycled? You know, like you watch TV and you hear. Yeah! And you look back and the dog's, and before you can get up, the dog's eating it again. That's amazing. And I'm kind of glad we don't have that as humans. Whatever that is. Yeah. You know, that response is. Yeah, that. But the ball licking, that would be. Who knows what we're going to mutate into at the end of the day. You know, the ball licking, I still don't know if I would. Oh, I know you, Josh. You would. I don't think I would. I don't think I would. We'd never get you out of your house. Come on, you guys. I don't put my fingers in my mouth. You're right. Hardly ever. I mean, I'm sure it wouldn't feel as good eventually as putting your... But you know. You know what I'm trying to say. Right. Yeah, you want us to do it. Well, huh. Okay. Yeah, it'd be nice if you got so many stuff up. Let's go. Boy, this show's really derogated. You want me a good mooner? Coming up, we'll be joined by comedian Maggie Hughes-Dapala. We'll be joined by Allie Breen with Sexy Time. Their visit is brought to you by Lee's Famous Recipe Chicken. We are in the O'Reilly Auto Parts studios. This is the Bob and Tom Show. Thanks for listening to the Bob and Tom Show this morning. Even though we're not too much to look at, you can also watch the show on our YouTube channel. Welcome back to the Bob and Tom Show. We're in the O'Reilly Auto Parts studios. Think O'Reilly Auto Parts for all your car care needs. Get the parts as first as you need fast. From the professional parts people at O'Reilly Auto Parts, there's Christy Lee. Hi. I have a question. Hang on to that. There's Pat Godwin. Hello. There's Josh Arnold. Hi. Ace Cosby. Hello. I'm Chick McGee, the Orange Insoles.com sports desk. Tom Christy. You guys are. Has a question. Just the guys to answer this. All right, sir. When you have, when you're, say, gassy. Yeah. How does it know to come out this way or that way? The front or the back? You mean a belch or a front? Yeah. I don't know. The gas that comes out the rear is developed in the large intestine, which would be closer to that area. Yes. So instead of going all the way back up. There are certain yogis in India that can make it come out of their belly button. Isn't that something? It's amazing. It's closer. It makes a very pleasant whistle. Other yogis, they come out of their ear. It's a great concentration. That's Josh Arnold, by the way, over there. He's at the IHateStevenSinger.com sidekick share. We got you today, but it's all coming up this way. Oh, okay. I would love to. You wouldn't have to get me anything for my birthday or for Christmas if I could hear a nice throaty belch from you on the air. Not right the second, but all. Good job, Chris. Nobody's better at doing it on command than Chick McGee. How do you do that? What a skill. The benefits of an only child. Now, we were talking about alligator attacks in Florida. And Pat asked me to dig this one up. This goes back a couple years in a place called Land O'Lakes, Florida. I'm assuming home of the butter. Yeah, sure. Do you get to a certain point you get so big you can name a town? Could we be like Bob and Tom, Iowa or something like that? Land O'Lakes, Butter, or did they name themselves after? I'm not sure. But the point of the story is this woman saved her dog from the clutches of an alligator. Danny Wright told station WTSP that she took her puppy Dax for a walk along a creek behind the house. She heard a squeal and a pulling. The alligator had Dax by his collar and was dragging him. She punched the more than five foot long alligator repeatedly until it let go of her puppy. Wow. Oh, man. She and Dax are now recovering from their injuries. So, Dax must have had a puncture wound or something from the teeth, right? Yeah. Wow. Now, Pat, you see you have a tribute to that? Oh, I do, yeah. Alligator, why'd you have to eat that dog? You have your own lake full of frogs and fishes. Live in an FLA You get more brazen every day How could you find a poodle so delicious? That's what we get for feeding you Now you eat our pets So give me the number of the Gator Hotline So I can call and get you out of my yard You got to go and let go of Flo. She's just walking her dog. 83 years old, skin like jerky, I'm told. Go find a bass or an eel. This floor is not a tasty meal. Alligator, why'd you have to eat old Flo? I took that little Liberty with the story. That's very nice. Thank you, Pat. I think that has happened. Now, we have Christy Lee over there at the news desk. What else is going on in the world? Scientists have mapped all the nerves in the clitoris for the first time. Slow down. Was it you saying? I did. Using an x-ray that employs an extremely bright light source called a synchrotron. Oh, come on. What is it called? A synchrotron. Researchers were able to capture clitoral nerves in three dimension at micron scale resolution. The CT images further allowed researchers to trace the dorsal nerve of the clitoris, shedding new light on how far it extends throughout the pelvis. Lead study author Dr. Zhu Yang Li told Live Science, quote, I see this work as the beginning of a long journey for a new clitoral science. Wow. So, what do you mean? Huh? Hey, Tom. My dad said, what are you majoring in? Well, Dad, you know, I was doing English literature. Then I decided that clitoral science was the future. That's my boy. I tell you what, finding that building every day is, I don't know why. I walk out of my dorm and I get lost. This is a good thing. Yeah? Well, anything to, well, you're fairly clitorate, Josh. Yeah. You know your way around. So they call it a map. Yes, 3D map. Well, I know like most men, we don't like to use maps. I'll just ask the guest. Yeah, I'll get there and ask somebody. Is this it? Ah, the old man in the boat. That's got to be a tough gig, though, for get home. What did you do at work today? Well, I was mapping the clitoris. Don't worry. You know, honey, I've got to be honest. If I see one more. You better look at mine. I spend all day. Last night, just about half an hour. Couldn't get even close. Archaeologists in the Netherlands recently discovered an unusual bone carving. See, that's an unusual bone carving. It's an ancient Roman bone penis. The art object had been forgotten in a storage box. That's right. Back then, men had bones in their wieners. Is there a joke of wandering hands and Roman bones or something like that? Roman hands? Roman hands. Yeah. Wandering eyes and Roman hands? I thought it was Roman bones. It would have to be something else with a double entendre. Roman hands? Roman, not Roman. No, I know. Another cult. Wandering hands and Roman hands. The setup has to be. He's got. Even Pat eludes to that new song. Are we doing a joke writing class or are we doing a joke? No, he's got an F in it. Yeah, I've been asked to leave. During the cataloging project at the Volkoff Museum, researchers identified the 7.8-inch long penis dating back 1,800 to 2,000 years. Was it Nikolai Volkoff? He was a wrestler, right? Oh, yeah. Romans typically weren't too scandalized by nudity in artwork, including depictions of male genitalia. They often saw penises as symbolically protective. They walked around naked a lot. Yeah, I mean, they were. They're allotuous. Fallus, sculptures, frequently decorated homes, usually above entrances, to guard against the so-called evil eye. Come on in here, Josh. I want to show you what I'm doing in the kitchen. What we're going to do is have a beautiful display of penises up here on the wall. Oh, that is lovely. I just got an evil eye belt. Does that mean it'll ward off penises? Evil eye? Evil eye. What's that? Well, the sculptures of the male genitalia were put there to ward off. So-called evil eye. Yeah. Yeah, the phalluses are even adorned in jewelry in some aspects. The newly found phallic artifact is unique in that it had been carved from bone. We have a picture of it, right? Whereas similar phalluses tended to be crafted. And you can tell it's Roman because on the right there you see the helmet. Stone or wood. That's right. Yes. Centurion-like. Man, that looks like a turnip. A long turnip. Kind of. Yeah, like a big root. Boy, if we hadn't been told that that was sculpted, I agree, that does look like a turnip. That's weird how it gets so narrow. Or kind of a misshapen banana. Tom, does yours get weird like that with a narrow tip like that? It goes into nothingness? Shouldn't it all be one? No, no, no. The part on the left is the handle. No, the chick knows that. He's looking at the... Yeah. He's looking at the... It does narrow down a bit. It narrows down toward the head. It might taper more than the typical wean. Right. Yeah, if yours looks like that, you've got something wrong. You've got some problems. And it's real thick right before you get to the head. Mine looks like that. Well, it's wrong, and you should be ashamed of it. That should be... Well, cut it off. In the doctor's office, if yours looks like this, you've got an issue going on here. So you've never seen an evil eye before? I just did online. And I haven't. Oh, really? Yeah. Isn't it on our money or something? Isn't there an evil eye? It kind of looks like that. You see it in different forms, different jewelry, different... Yeah, a lot of necklaces. Yeah. With the evil eye. Yeah. Oh, I wouldn't wear that. That's a curse. It's evil. No, but it... Now I bought the belt. Should I take it back? Well, it's brought on by envy. Oh. Of what I just read. Envy and covetous behavior. But doesn't it ward off... Doesn't the evil eye also ward off others' bad stuff? I think so. Really? Yeah, I think so. Coming up, we're going to visit with comedian Maggie Hughes-Dapallo, and we'll have Allie Breen here with Sexy Time. But right now we have time for one more story, Christy. Is Maggie Hughes-Dapallo a hyphenated name? I don't know. Why? That usually means difficult. Oh, boy. First of all, I think you mean hymenated. I'm glad someone finally met. A British cobbler who accidentally cut off his thumb has had his lost digit replaced with his big toe. We've heard this story many times. You guys, every time I mention this, though I met this guy that had that done, you guys poo-poo it. No, we never did. It's amazing. It's an amazing feat of medical science. No, it's an amazing thumb. It's not a whole foot. Does he walk with a lean now? He'd have to walk in a circle. Yeah, because you balance. We determined, wasn't there an article saying that that's the least necessary of your toes? Which one? The big toe? The captain of the toes? Yeah, I think that... Don't tell that to your big toe. How's your lasering going, by the way? I start next week. How's your feet? You're in your fungus. You smell? How's that going? You're a fungus among us. Can I catch that? Can I catch a fungus from you? Did you ever say that when you were a kid? Is that airborne? I don't know. Is it like discolored or a pussy mask? I ball up your socks and put them in my mouth. Is that going to... Oh, John. Can we get back to the... Mr. David Lee was trimming the head of a shoe in January of 2019 when his hand got snagged in the machine. Wait a minute. And his right thumb was cut off. He was doing what? He's a cobbler. He's a cobbler. Cobbler is a person that repairs shoes. Yeah, I know. Wait a minute. No, a cobbler is a fruit-filled pastry. It's delicious. Right. A shoemaker makes shoes. No, that's what they're called, a shoemaker. The 46-year-old from Nottinghamshire brought his thumb to the hospital, but doctors were unable to reattach, so they took the big toe from his right foot and added it to his hand. Now Mr. Lee said that the new appendage is fully functional after years of physiotherapy. All right. He stopped chewing his fingernails. Yuck. But that's a miraculous surgery. There's a picture of him. Look at that. You know. It doesn't look too bad. Well, no, but I'd like to see the... It is much bigger. Yeah, though, obviously, the big toe is a little different shape. No, it's grotesque. I know. Not really. I think I would have just gone thumbless. No, you want to have the opposable digit. That's important. I know. It's got me in trouble. Get your reaching stick and call it a day. Well, Josh, then you'd have to start using your left hand, Josh. I already have, because I remember I broke my right wrist when I was, like, 15, and those were the formative days. No. When it comes to that, I'm a lefty. No socks, right into a shirt. Okay. We know far too much about him. Bravo to this guy. Quiet behavior. And congratulations to the brilliant surgeons. I think he's a disgusting freak. Ruined two body parts. Like, what's the first thing? Somebody shook, they shake his hand and go, oh, my God, what's that? Shaked in the wrong way. But the guy always gets picked up while hitchhiking. That's a big thump, now. They always see it. Is there anything funnier than Pee Wee wearing the big fake thump? Oh, man, that's funny. Okay. Now, I'll remind you that Josh is sitting at the IHateStevenSinger.com sidekick chair. The importance of that is Mother's Day just around the corner. May 10th. And Steven Singer's got what you need. Mother. Of course, there's great bracelets, great earrings, great necklaces, and more. But the big thing right now is that Sunrise 24-karat gold dip rose. These are real roses, ladies and gentlemen, dipped in 24-karat gold. And the price of gold, I know it's going way up, but still, Stephen is keeping the price down to $89. Once again, real roses dipped in gold. And then certain colors are applied to them. They call this one the sunset because it's got kind of a morning glow, I guess you'd call it, a pinkish-purple, going into a warm golden yellow. You can see it online by going to IHateStevenSinger.com. The new Sunshine Rose, $89, only available at IHateStevenSinger.com. Celebrate all those moms in your life. They make every sunrise possible. How about that? Oh, that's great. IHateStevenSinger.com is where you'll find all this stuff. And Stephen, like I said, he's got those beautiful, the Atlas bracelet, great value. Of course, necklaces, et cetera, et cetera. And the beautiful Sunrise 24-karat gold dip rose exclusively from Stephen Singer. It comes in a beautiful box. And, of course, shipping is free. and the famous Stephen Singer guarantee. If you're not happy, send it back. It's that simple. I hate StephenSinger.com. Coming up, comedian Maggie Hughes-Dapallo. We'll find out if there's a hyphen in there. And more from the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios. This is the Bob and Tom Show. Hey, welcome back to the Bob and Tom Show. We're in the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios. Think O'Reilly Auto Parts for all your car care needs. Get the parts and service you need fast from the professional parts people at O'Reilly Auto Parts. There's Christy Lee. Hello, Chick McGee. She's at the news desk. There's Pat Cotton. Hey, Chick. Hello, Josh Arnold. Hi. He's at the I Hate Steven Singer sidekick chair. Ace Cosby's here. Hello. I'm Chick McGee at the OrangeInsouls.com sports desk. And, Tom, we have a special guest. Joining us in the studio, comedian Maggie Hughes-Dapallo. Now, Josh, you want to go ask for your question? Is it a hyphenated last name? I heard that. It's not hyphenated. Oh, yeah, yeah. I'm not that high maintenance. Good. You know what? I grew up Irish Catholic. I married an Italian guy, so I wanted to keep Hughes in the mix. Okay. You know, more importantly, in case I get divorced, it's always there. Sure, yeah, yeah. I can just drop the Italian. Take your driver's license and get a pair of scissors. That's just good thinking because you buy a house thinking to sell it. You're going to get married thinking you have to get a divorce. You know, that's forward thinking. Yeah, yeah. That's what I do. It's a very big Catholic thing to do, right? I'm sorry. Yeah, that is a lot. It's an Irish Catholic thing. Yeah. More importantly, we do. We have four kids. Now, are they, is it like Bobby, Hughes, DiPaolo? They're all DiPaolo, yeah. Oh, they don't have the Hughes thing? No. None of them? I couldn't sneak that in. Nope. Really? What a tyrant you're married. Well, you don't, if there were to be a divorce, you don't want them. Yeah. So why have the Hughes at all? Exactly. Drop the kids and the Italian. I'd say that the other day, my 13-year-old, and I know what you're thinking, I used to have kids. I also have a 10-year-old and many others. Said, first of all, the first question from Hart was, hey, if you two both die, who gets to take us? And she goes, can I vote? She starts naming these people she'd like to have as her parents. Which was rather awkward. Uh-huh. But Finn, then Finn goes, you know, if you and Dad split up, I'm going with him. Whoa. That's very forward-changing. I bet that's a good one. A mother loves hearing that. Yeah. Very progressive thing for these kids to think about. I was kind of thinking, hey, good for me. Well, yeah. How did I score those points? Oh, I know. By saying yes to him. I was going to say. Haven't that same group been asking about the will and things and the trust? Oh, absolutely. Yeah, that's what I think. Now, doesn't Godwin get Willie? I do indeed. I'm the godfather. Yeah. And hey, happy birthday, Willie. Is it his birthday today? It is Willie's birthday today. You know, my phone told me that, and I thought, well, this isn't right. By gosh, it is. Well, happy birthday, Willie. Yeah. Is he 3-0? No, he's 34. What? 33? Yeah. 34? Well, you think he'd be a little more mature. You don't know how old he is. Early 30s. Early 30s. 33. 33? Okay. Older kids, right, Tom? He's got a couple sets. He's got three sets. They're way up there. Well, that's good. They could take the younger ones if anything happens. Yes. Well, that's true. Christy said one morning that Tom did not stop having kids when you're supposed to. That's right. What age range do you have? We've got a big gap as well. We have almost 18, 14, 13, all boys. And then my daughter is six. Okay, cool. So they can raise her if anything happens. Well, she's going to be... She'll be raising them, actually. She'll be in charge. Yeah, that's an awkward thing. Who's going to take them if something goes wrong? It is. That happened to a friend of mine in high school. Oh, wow. Do you have that in your will, though? Did you guys decide on somebody? Yeah, it's... Complicated. No, no. I mean, there's a committee. Oh, I know. I'm just guessing I'm not in the mix anywhere, am I? None of us are. Well, the financial part. Oh! Yeah, you've got to find somebody with dough and a pool. Yeah, you're in that. You've got to get the pool, yeah. You've got the mortgage payment all built into it. It's a great will. It's the size of a phone book. Nice. Yeah, but you have to have that stuff. I mean, I know I'm a little paranoid, but like I said, when I was in high school, one of my guys that I knew, his parents were both killed in a car crash, in a plane crash. and you know he was it brothers and sisters and he ended up living with a friend of mine did I wow did I hear a big laugh laugh in the back yeah plane crash car crash no plane crash got a huge laugh from somebody from the top I mean I could have said car crash but that's not what happened alright but so yeah no you probably don't have that anymore do you Christy no because my kids are now old enough to take well sort of old enough I was going to say Do you have a friend that can go move into her place? Love you, honey. Which one's your favorite, Maggie? Well, that changes by the day. I imagine. Yeah. So, you know, my daughter and I are the closest, obviously. She's been borrowing all my makeup. She's got this new. She's six. Loves lipstick. First day of school, she told her teachers that my mom wears lipstick and does shows for adults. In Francis Catholic School. That's where they think I work at Polecats. Oh, I like that name. The Polecats. Tom, you want to go to the Polecat with me? Have a guy's night at the Polecat. And you said you're Irish Catholic? Irish Catholic. Did you have a Catholic wedding? I grew up on the south side of Chicago. I did, yes. Yeah, that's like non-negotiable when you're an Irish Catholic. And your man is an Italian. Italian Catholic. Italian Catholic. Wow. Is there a distinction when it comes to the ceremonial? East Coast. No, there's just more of us. He has a small family. So I have like 34 first cousins, and he comes from a small family. So he's still trying to catch up with names. Now, Pat, don't you have a song that would tie right into this lengthy mass situation with a lot of people? Oh, yeah. You know, we were talking about Easter, and a lot of people went to mass on Easter that normally don't go to mass. What was the word you came up with? Priesters. Priesters, yeah. Christmas and Easter folks. They only go... They're called priesters. Priesters. Catholic light. And I was told by someone involved in the financial realm of a certain diocese that they had moved all of their spring breaks so that Easter wasn't in it because they were finding that the people who were the so-called priesters, when the collection plate came around, they'd be given the money to some place in Florida instead of where they lived. Well, that's kind of changing because you do it online now. But you still have to put your envelope in even if it's empty, which I find... What? What? Because they want to prove that you were at Mass. They can't prove you were at Mass if you just put your money in. They're taking attendance now? I thought Jesus did that from above. Did they do this at your school? I thought they had an app. Don't they have an app? I'll see you in church if the windows are clean. That was my dad's favorite thing. Because if you have kids in their school especially, they want to prove that you're actually active in the parish. Yeah. Wait a minute. What did your dad say again? I'll see you in church if the windows are clean. Nice. Oh, that's a nice phrase. Yes, they care if you're a parishioner. It's all about the money. Like my husband said, this is all just about writing checks, Maggie. I said, I get it. But, yes, they do want to prove that you've been to church if you're a parishioner, if you have children at the school. Now, you said you were married in a Catholic service. Correct. And that's a lot of standing and sitting. How long did it last? A lot of standing and sitting. Like an hour plus? It's an hour mass, yep. They haven't shortened it. If it's an hour mass, I assume that means an open bar is pretty much required. Yes. Well, I got that from Irish. Well, there's a tailgate before. Sure. Nice tailgate. Now, Pat, would you favor Maggie with this song? Maggie, did your church try to do the folk mass or the rock mass that they bring in the kids? Did they try the music at all? We haven't done that. But do you get a little One Bread, One Body you're going to? Yeah, no, no. It's a good song, though. I like that. We tried the reggae mass. Have you heard of the reggae mass to get the kids in? Okay, here we go. Stand up. Kneel down. Sit back in your pew Come on now Kneel down, stand up Sit now for a few I just follow the priest now He knows what to do He's like an aerobic instructor When you don't have a clue Come on now Stand up, kneel down Get in all your steps Kneel down, stand up Oh, it's rough on the hips. Knees hurt joint sore. Muscles tight and rear. Come on now, Easter Sunday. See you all next year. Merry Christmas. Merry Christmas. Happy New Year. Oh, that is going to be in my head all day. Help me here. Is there someone on the stage, altar, that is informing you? No, you call anybody in the priest. Occasionally, the priest will say. They say, please stand. Yes. For certain things. Especially during a Catholic mass when everybody may not be Catholic. They do tend to... Please rise. Yes. They'll tell you more than if you're just there. And is it always in the same order? Yes. So if you go a lot, you're going to know? Yes. Yes. I can do it in my life. Do you know what the... I can do it all in our sleep. We can say all the prayers in our sleep. Do you know what the total of up, down, kneel... No, I've never counted. I mean, is it upwards of 50? No. Not 50. I remember going to one of those with my dad, who was in a wheelchair, so he wasn't in the pew. But I was sort of sitting on the end of the pew, and he was right next to me. And he leaned over and he said, I've had friends whose marriage is less time than G.D. They're long. Because he had to pee. Like a beautiful man. Yeah. No, he really had to go. And that was an ordeal in itself. Why, why, give him a pouch. What? I'm not going to give my father a pouch. Did you have to help him in the pouch? He could get up out of a chair and walk toward the end. You should have said, why don't you get up and take a few steps and scream on heels. That collection plate would have been full. He'd go right down into space. We're speaking with a comedian, Maggie Hughes-Apollo. She's a lovely woman. Four kids. You look extraordinarily young. Oh, thank you. You do not look like you have an 18-year-old. So, obviously, you started at 14. Very early, yeah. Very early. How old were you when you got married? Same as you. How old? Say that again. When you got married, how old were you? I was... You don't have to answer any of these questions. 32. What? Yes. Wow. So... You jammed a lot of living there. I'll tell you what. Yeah, don't do the math. I think when we come back, we're going to do Today in History. and I was just looking at it a second ago and there's something in there that applies to you. Oh, really? Yeah. Oh, yeah. It's amazing. The coincidence. So many coincidences in life. And this is just another one. Right now. We'll talk about coincidences. Happy coincidence. Maggie, we like to cover a lot on this show. I love it. Now, Christy Lee, could we get a news story out of you? Oh. Or are you looking at your Insta again? Insta. Jeez, what you say. Yeah, really. Like you're always prepared over there, always on the road. I am always unprepared. That's the kind of consistency that I like to show everybody. Speaking of women and babies and giving birth, a woman gave birth on a Caribbean Airlines flight to New York City recently, a flight from Kingston, Jamaica, contacted air traffic control to report a pregnant passenger had gone into labor and requested medical personnel meet the plane at JFK. In a recording of the conversation released to the media, Ground control asks the pilot, quote, is it out yet? To which the pilot confirms, and the air traffic controller quips, all right, tell her she's got to name it Kennedy. Ha, ha, ha. They were flying. They had it on the news last night. Caribbean Airlines confirmed the incident to CBS News, saying mom and newborn were attended to once the plane landed. Now what citizenship does she have? You know something? You couldn't have asked that at a worse time. But I do know that this, that... International, right? International. Do they have an international passport? Sure. That's everywhere? Sure. Worldwide. That's a very fair question. And I don't know the answer to that. Because there's a whole controversy with the Supreme Court and birth citizenship. But what's interesting about this, she actually, first of all, how do they let you on a plane if you're eight months pregnant? I thought they didn't do that. What is she doing? I don't think they can ask you that. Well, they should be able to. Your doctor usually informs you we don't want you traveling after. We could see your uterus, ma'am. Yeah, yeah, you're crowning. You're not getting on this plane. But, I mean, I think it's funny that if you have to name it after the airport you landed, it would be really cool if you were at a cool airport. Like? Louis Armstrong Airport in New Orleans. What if it's a girl? Louise Armstrong. That'd be cool. That'd be true. I don't know if I'd want to be named Kennedy if I was born on an airplane. It's kind of a, I don't know. Yeah. Especially right now with that Carolyn Bethesda. At least I don't want a water birth. At least not John John. Or Ted. I don't know what I think about. You don't shut up. You're going to crash this plane. Or the back of a convertible, really. How about, if you were Atlanta, that would be a very hip airport. Hartsfield? Yeah, Hartsfield-Jackson. Yeah, that's kind of cool. That sounds like a Supreme Court justice. Hartsfield-Jackson. I think it's a cool name. Are there uncool airport names? What about Hobby? Don't want to be Hobby. In Burbank? That's not too cool. No. That's okay. Hobby in Houston. Aspen, Colorado. It's like Pitkin. That would be a name for a girl. Have you met our little daughter Pitkin? I'm out. She's nitty? Hang on. It's nitty. How many airports do we have to go? Go ahead. At least she had the baby on the plane as opposed to in line at the TSA. so i wonder if um i wonder if they let her uh do you suppose they let her uh breastfeed on just half a boob half a boob you can't have the whole thing she's on it it's up to the flight attendant how much you pop you get right if you ask for the can they it's up to their they can i think so your daughter was a flight attendant ask her yeah she well i couldn't pin her down on that She wouldn't let me. I think she didn't want me to feel bad. I don't take in beverages on airplanes. Of course you don't. The gas? No, I don't want to have to pee any more than possible. I don't want to have to get up any more than possible. Do you drink liquids on an airplane? Of course. Yes. What's your order? Well, what you do is you get a glass of ice, and then you get maybe some sweps. I was going to say, you seem like a ginger ale guy. And then you pour vodka in there, and if you have any room for any Schweppes, you pour more vodka in there. And then you just look at the can and read that while you're drinking your vodka. The old chickpea. Those days are gone. Right now, I want to talk about feet. Josh, you want to help me here? I do. In fact, I don't want to help you. I want to do it. Yes, please do it, Josh. And I want you to silence yourself. I will not interrupt at all. Orangeinsoles.com. Do you want to see my orange insults? No, we don't. It involves taking your lousy feet off and shoes off or whatever. You're a mom, Maggie. You know what it's like with kids, corralling them, walking around the house, getting them here and there. And sometimes I bet you ache a little bit. Your knees get tired. Your feet get tired. You can just stare at me. The... All day, every day. Yes, keep going. Of course, lower backs tighten up. Things happen. Oh, man, am I sore. That's right. Yes, a lot of tweets. That's where orange insoles come in. They deliver rich and rigid art support that do not collapse by lunchtime. We truly do get requests for Josh to read commercials. Yeah, you know that. It's a nightmare. No, people love the hell out of them. Hilarious. They have deep heel cups that cradle your heels and absorb shock naturally, helping maintain alignment. You know what that does? That keeps your feet and legs from fatiguing as much. That's how the Rockettes are in them. They wear orange insoles in their shoes? Wouldn't that be awesome? Yeah. With clear and glass. That would be a great ad. They have Dorothy with the glass slippers on and she lifts up her feet. Look, orange insoles. It's like the Nutella thing flying by the Artemis. Your feet and legs, where the hell was I? I don't know. Where do I get orange insoles, Josh? Originsoles.com, Christy. Thank you very much. They're durable enough for work boots like Tom wears, but they're comfortable enough for everyday wear. These are opry ski boots. Oh, shut up. I call them work boots because you're the hardest working man I know. Thank you. Now, shut up. I do have my orange insoles in these. I know. I don't believe you. Oh, boy. They're built for real people. That's right. You out there, teachers, servers, nurses, anybody who's standing on their feet longer than, let's say, a couple minutes. Boy, oh, boy. Check out Orange Insoles. Visit orangeinsoles.com. Order more and save with Orange Insoles bundle packs. Remember, as FDR said, if I could get up, I'd kick your ass. All I have is this orange blanket. FDR. FDR. Here's FDR for orange and souls. The only thing we have to pay is the jungle gym. Wait a minute. There we go. Do you want me to take them out? Wow. Wow. Look at the orange they are. We can see them and smell them from here. You need Josh's shirt for those people. I do not have foot odors. Yes, yes, you do. Take a look at these. No. Take a look at these. Put your shoe back on. You've got a fungus. You've told us about your fungus. Maggie, I don't know if you know this. They've got guests on the Bob and Tom show. Have to take a good huff. Look at her face. You don't have to say. We do. She has boys. And look at how big is your foot. It's a 12. Okay. Now, wait a minute. When we come back, I have been told by Jason just sent me a note about something involving size in your life. We'll get to that in a minute. Let me finish the ad. I'd rather not. Be sure to use promo code Bob and Tom at checkout. You're going to receive $5 off your total order, plus free shipping in the USA. That's Originsouls.com, promo code Bob and Tom. You know, I was talking to the Originsouls people yesterday. There's no way they talk to you. And I said, yeah, that's a great idea. They'll act like they're not. How about doing red insults for Christmas, green insults for St. Patrick's Day, and they hung up the phone. Oh, that would be great. I said, we've worked for years to get the word orange in here. Shut up. You're an idiot. When we come back, you're going to see an amazing tie-in to our guest, Maggie Hughes-Dapallo. And I forgot to mention that coming up April 13th and 14th, she's going to be at our favorite club in Nashville, Tennessee, Zane. He's also in Milwaukee Improv, April 29th. The famous helium in Indy this evening. We're going to come right back. We are in the O'Reilly Auto Parts studios. This is the Bob and Tom Show. Want to share a letter or comment? Our email is bobandtom at bobandtom.com. I'm edition. Welcome back to the Bob and Tom Show. We are in the O'Reilly Auto Parts studios at the news desk. Christy Lee. Hi. There's Pat Godwin. Hello. There's Josh Arnold. Hi there. He's at the I Hate Steven Singer sidekick chair just in time for Mother's Day. There's Ace Cosby. Howdy. I'm Chick McGee at the Orange Insoles.com sports desk. Tom, we have a special guest. She is the lovely Maggie Hughes-Dapallo. Well, recently doing some work with our buddy Nate Bardazzi, and she's going to be doing a bunch of other stuff. But I've got a couple quick questions I'm going to get to in just a second. We are going to do Today in History. Yeah. I'm going to make an unusual tie-in here. Do we have the official music? Thank you very much. Let's see what's going on. Today is April 8th. April 8th. We start with birthdays. All right. The first one should be your son. We go in. Oh, you start with the oldest. Older to younger. Born in 1460. Yeah, he's not that old. Juan Ponce de Leon. Oh, yeah. And I bring this up because remember what he was looking for? Fountain of Youth. And apparently our guest has found it. Yes. Oh, wow. Very, very young. That's nice. And, of course, Ponce de Leon stands for John Lionpants, I believe. John of the Lion Now you kids listening if you'd like to answer that on your history question that's totally acceptable He discovered Florida although he actually discovered that there were people already living there even then primarily elderly natives Very unusual St. Augustine the oldest McDonald's You think the founder of Youth is there? Take a trip to Florida You'll find out nope Nope. Happy birthday to the actress Robin Wright. Oh, yes. Formerly Robin Wright Penn. Yeah, house of cards. She's already been married and divorced three times. He was the president. What an incredible loser. So she's still looking for Mr. Wright. Oh, yeah. She kept that middle name. Exactly. Thank you very much. Happy birthday, Willie Griswold. Oh! 33 today. Bingo. Son number two. What a great kid. The same age as our Lord Jesus Christ. I believe Willie describes himself, he looks like the Ambien dealer at a Christian college. But since it's his year, 33, that's your year. Come on, he'll have great things happen this year. In some ways, he's like the Cooper Manning of the Griswolds. What does that mean? Oh, boy. You better, yeah. Like the Tito Jackson. Go ahead. I just feel Willie grabbing his steering wheel, screaming, no, no, no. You know, at least he's not sensitive. Yeah. Are you playing, Tom? We need to get a couple laughs here. No, no, seriously. What did he say about me? Seriously. Willie, calm down. On this date in 1974, Hank Aaron broke Babe Ruth's all-time home run record. A-A-Rod. And then still holds second place to Barry Bonds, right? Well, it depends on what you're looking at. Hank did it without roids, I guess, as far as we know. steroids. Yeah, of course. We have no idea about George Brad. No one ever gives him the credit. They called him Hammer and Hank. Right? Roydy Berry. Babe did it with what? Beer, hookers, and hot dogs. This I remember as not being all that interesting. In 1983, David Copperfield made what disappear, Christy? The Statue of Liberty? Not all that interesting. What do you mean? It was awesome. And I saw a video on YouTube. They talk about how it was done, and that's also astounding. Can you make the Statue of Liberty disappear? It's a trick. No. Can you make the crowd rotate a little to the left? It's a trick. And then, lastly, Twin Peaks, the TV show, premiered on ABC in 1990. I love it. Did you really like that show? I really did like that show, and I loved the... She's wrapped in plastic. The recent continuation about five years ago, too. But I'm a Lynchian. Mulholland I love weirdos Mulholland Drive Mulholland Yeah Lost but for kind of Yeah yeah Okay very good very good Now let get back to our guest Maggie Hughes Apollo Jason told me. A little bird told me. Well, let me start this out by saying you are not extraordinarily tall. No. You're not short either, but you're a more or less average person. With respect to your build. Maybe radio is not for you. Jason says you have a son that is 6'8". Yes. Oh, God. He's super tall. Wow. 6'8", plays basketball, which works out nicely. The only thing that fits him are NBA track suits. Oh, okay. If you didn't know any better, you'd think we have, like, an Eastern European exchange student. How tall is your husband? My husband's, like, 6'3". Okay. What size shoe does boy take? So our son wears a 17, which is a giant shoe. He wanted white crocs for Christmas. And I was like, dude, they don't make a 17 croc. That's like a baby bassinet sized croc. That is. Yeah, he's tall. We shop at men's big and tall stores. That's where we have to get formal wear, which they don't have a lot of options for kids. They just have top hats and canes. Six, eight. Oh, that's amazing. Now, coming up, by the way, we have comedian Allie Breen will be joining us with the special feature known as Sexy Time. Yes. We certainly look forward to that. We will be returning to the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios. This is the Bob and Tom Show. More of the show is on the way. You can find us on X at Bob and Tom, or you can email us at BobandTom at BobandTom.com. Hey, welcome back to the Bob and Tom Show. We are in the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios at the news desk. Christy Lee. Hello, Chick. Hi, there's Pat Godwin. Hey, Chick. Got the guitar, got the piano. Got the songs. Josh Arnold. Hi. He's the guy who hates Stephen Singer's sidekick chair. There's Ace Cosby. Hello. I'm Chick McGee. Hello, Tom. We have a special guest. We do, indeed. She is comedian Maggie Hughes-Dapala and lives in greater Chicago. This weekend does the Masters. We were talking sports. That has a lot to do with Chicago. Where is the Masters this year? Schomburg. Okay. Julia. What the hell is wrong with you? Hi, Tom. You can't switch topics like that. That did get me. You'll make people crash their car. Makes them pay attention. I guess. You going to watch the Masters? I am. Are you a golfer? My husband is a golfer. We spend a lot of money on golf. He golfs. He turned our guest bedroom into a golf simulator for his 40th birthday. Wow. Nice. Yeah, that's what my in-laws said when they came to stay and there was no bed. I was like, we'll get an air mattress. Yeah, they could just roll off and play the back half of Pebble Beach off the air mattress. Cool. That's neat. Now, we had a new story about a woman who gave birth on an airplane just before, I guess, it landed at Kennedy Airport. She was coming from Kingston, Jamaica. JFK. I still don't know what the citizenship of the kids are going to be. That's complicated. I know. Who cares? Well. Right now, there's a whole Supreme Court case. I mean, why do you guys care? It's just some bastard child. Why out of Kingston, Jamaica? This parentless child that's a ward of the state. Why? The thing was, they played it in the news last night. The air traffic control guys are going back and forth, and they're saying the kid has to be named Kennedy since the land game. Right. They're sleeping in their cars, man. Go ahead. But I was wondering, because what would be like the hippest, coolest thing if you had to name it after an airport? I thought, like, Louis Armstrong would be great. But what if it was named after the airport code? So during the break, I looked up a few airport codes. You don't want CLT. Yeah. Speak for yourself. Yeah. Lucky they didn't land in Fukuoka, Japan. Yeah. They've got a three-letter. Yeah. Yeah. Is that the one in? Oh, okay. That's what they use? Yeah. Yeah. You can guess. In North Dakota, there is an airport with the airport code D-I-K. Fresno, F-A-T. Fatty, fatty, fatty. You don't want to name me. That's going to give the kid a problem, a real complex. There's PNS, airport code in Florida. What is it? Very awkward for a young lady. Is that Pensacola? Yeah, so in any of it. We have to move on because we've got sexy time coming up. What else have you got, Christy? Well, why is it so hard for you to do nothing on vacation, Tom? Have you ever thought about that? Your survey out there finds more than half of Americans do not know how to do nothing. Hmm. That would be me. I know. According to the poll of 2,000 adults, the average person uses the phrase, quote, I'm busy nearly 300 times a year. Some do it more than that. Like 300 times a morning. Yes. More than a third admit it's easier to say I'm busy than to say no. My favorite thing, he'll come in and I'll go, oh, hey, how's it going? And he goes, yesterday was just, oh, no. I go, really? That's like, it's a surprise every single day. I smile thinking about this moment. I was sitting in my office and Tom came in and he goes, hey, what night is your show? Is it tonight or tomorrow? I go, both. He goes, I can't make either. Yep, that's the way he runs. Yeah. It's like, what's wrong with me? Who talks like you do? Just being polite. He just caught him. And you think it's being polite. Yeah. I'd work on that, but I'm very busy today. Oh, my God. Nearly half are likely to feel stressed and guilty when not actively busy. Is that how you feel? Yeah. If I go to a fancy restaurant, I always, after about 20 minutes, would rather be doing the dishes in the back and sitting there. Oh, same here. Do you have guilt, though? No, I just don't like guilt. You can't relax. I like doing things. Christy, does it take you, do you have to talk yourself out of not feeling guilty? Yes. I do, too. Yes. And it's getting better. That's actually something you have to practice. I'm getting better since I moved and have forced nature on me now. Yeah. It makes me relax a lot more. Yeah. So I'll just sit outside. We have a screen in porch. I have a lot of birds that come, and I like to watch the birds. See, if I had a screen in porch, I'd go out there and clean it. Well, thinking about how they clear their mind on their trips, respondents rely on fresh air. being outdoors, as we talked about with the nature thing, followed by scenic views, relaxing music, an ocean breeze, and clear blue waters. Now, none of those things appeal to you, do they? Oh, I do. Remember when I rode my bicycle and I had someone stole Finn's bike and I chased the person? Yes, go on with that. It turned into almost a felony. Yeah, that's what happened. On Tom's part? Yes. No, no, no. He became a crime fighter. He was fighting crime. We rented these bicycles at Alice Beach. But it was in Alice Beach, Florida, down by Pensacola. And someone stole one of my daughter's rental bicycles. And you never thought it was a scam, like the guy who rented you hired the kids to steal it so that you could have to pay triple or whatever. Anyway, I followed the kids. I found one of the bikes. There was another stolen bike there, so I brought them both back. and then they charged me for the one that I didn't have. It's a long story. You know, Josh and I have started... Crime fighting in the panhandle. Josh and I relax together. We expose ourselves to each other's neighbors. And that's the way we relax. And it's a good way to chill. Really? I get kind of sleepy just thinking about it. We don't talk about the ramifications, Maggie. Do you guys live together? Yeah. We do. Boy, that would be something. That would be great. We can produce everything together. Back to back. Would it be a murder-suicide? No, no. And I want to tell you, we are together. Let's move forward. What else have you got, Christy? Police in Florida, speaking of that, are asking for help in identifying a guy who walked into a store, and we've heard this before, urinated on all the merchandise. Well, is that wrong? Northcourt News shared security footage of the suspect who caused about $500 worth of damage. The young man is wearing a black Nike shirt and lobster pattern shorts. Nice. The Venice Police Department asked anyone information about the suspect or the incident to contact them. This probably happened, I'm guessing, during spring break. Anybody else? You know what's wrong with me? I heard that $500 worth, and I go, that doesn't seem like a very nice store. And that's... That's where they sold the shorts. Yeah. The lobster shop. How dare you, it was merchant lobster print. And I think you're probably right. I'm guessing it was a pile of clothes. Yeah. Probably one of those T-shirt shops or something. That's what I'm picturing. Yeah. That's the verge. It probably had the sign, bathroom for paying customers only. Yep. So he found a workaround. I've walked by a Williams-Sonoma. Look at that. They're selling a skillet for $1,200. I like to go in there and just piss on everything. Go piss on the waffle irons. I've got to buy one this week. They're having some really good sales on their spring stuff. Really good sales. So a toaster is now $800. They are proud of their sales. I'm on the fan. I would be if I could be. I wait for the sales. Coming up, we have our segment known as Sexy Time, in which we try to help you with your love life. But right now, it's time to talk about vehicles. And our car girl in the studio is Christy Lee. Yes, I am a car girl, and I love, it took me a while, I'm not going to lie, a few trips to the dealership, but they finally swayed me over to my Hyundai Tucson Hybrid, and I can't tell you how much I love this car. I've had it almost two years, it has America's best warranty, and you're going to have to pry it out of my thighs to get it away from me. Oh, pry it out of her thighs. It's easier to drive if you're in the car. Yes. You know what, Christy, you just sold 800. Show me the seat she's been sitting on. And if you want something just a little bit bigger and maybe to take off-road, check out the Santa Fe Hybrid. It does have the power to navigate the toughest terrain. That's Hyundai and their hybrids. The best of both worlds where you'll find them is at HyundaiUSA.com or you can call 562-314-4603 and get more details on either the Tucson Hybrid or the Santa Fe Hybrid. Thanks very much, Christy. I was just thinking about something. This is back. The woman who gave birth on the plane. Mm-hmm. Oh, boy. Irresponsible. No, and it was coming from, what, Jamaica? Kingston, Jamaica, yes. Yeah, so landed in greater New York. Mm-hmm. Would there be a problem with immigration getting into the country? Well, filling out that form is going to take a while. I guess, boy. Because the kid wouldn't have a passport. Call me hardly. You go right back. If you are careless enough to be in a position where you give birth on a plane, you go right back. Well, maybe she lives in the United States. We don't know. No, she's from filthy Kingston. Here, here. Is there any reason why I love this guy? He's a roommate. I'm sure there's some lovely areas in Kingston. No. No? No? Okay. Well, you're right there. I mean, do you have anything to declare? Yes, I just had this. Yeah, my fallopian tubes. My placenta count as a carry-on. Everyone has to take their fallopian tubes out and put them in the bin. Oh, God. Yeah, the placenta, put that in the bin. That does have to be a nightmare paperwork-wise, though. Yeah, I mean, what do you do? Yeah, complicated. Or just the cleanup. Yeah. And I assume that she was met by a team of, you know, health care or mental health care professionals. I mean, yeah, health care, I would think. I would hope so, yeah. What a weird thing to do. Okay, I'm sorry. I'm off topic. We're going to come back with a sexy time and alley briefs. Maybe she was premature. Maybe she didn't know she was having a baby. That's what I'm thinking. I don't think she was even allowed to cry after. Yeah, I mean, there must have been extenuating. I mean, one of those ones where they don't even know they're pregnant? Well, I don't know about that, but I mean, maybe she was, you know, five weeks or six. Is the airline allowed to say you can't get on the plane? I don't know about that. Because you can't look at somebody and say, you've been there. Oh, when's the baby due when they're not pregnant? Yeah, they're like, I'm actually just husky. Thank you. Are airlines allowed? They should. Pregnant women should have to buy two seats. That's two people. I'm making friends, aren't I? Yeah. Thank you. That was Josh Arnold. Thank you, Marissa. I'll be right back with everybody else. We are in the O'Reilly Auto Parts studios. This is the Bob and Tom Show. Back to the Bob and Tom Show. Hello, hello, hello. We're in the O'Reilly Auto Parts studios. There's Christy Lee. Hello, Chick McGee. Hey, she's at the news desk. There's Pat Godwin. Hey, Chick. Hey, indeed. There's Josh Arnold. Hi. There's Ace Cosby. Hello. I'm Chick McGee, and Tom is all of a sudden otherwise engaged. Oh, hi, Scott. We have a special guest, Tom. A couple. Joining us in the studio, the lovely Maggie Hughes DePaulo. She's blonde number two in this room. Blonde number three, I believe, will be joining us on the big screen. Are you in Switzerland, Fran? No, I'm actually in England now. Still Europe, but yeah. Okay, once again, it's unbelievable. She travels everywhere. It's Allie Breen. We talked to you last week. You were on your way to go skiing in San Maritz. Is that correct? Yes, exactly. It was fun. It was amazing. Beautiful. I highly recommend it. Yeah. It's like easier and cheaper for Americans to ski out there than it is to go to like Aspen or Vail at this point. There you go, Tommy. Well, there's no snow in Aspen and Vail, more or less. I know. There's one more week left in Switzerland. Okay, great. I couldn't make it so I'm busy. So you're in London right now. Yes. Well, that's great. Are you in his place or did you rent something? No, I'm at his place. I'm actually doing a show in Camden tomorrow, and then I'm back stateside on the 10th. Camden is one of my favorite areas of London. It's awesome. Have you been? I think probably a while ago, but I don't really remember London too well. That's cool. What's the name of the club? I have to find out. My friend Maria Shahada, who I've done shows with in L.A. forever, moved to England a couple years ago, so she just got me on a show. I don't have any other information, but I'll post it for sure. Nice. That's fine. And are you trying to adjust your comedy pieces to fit the English? I think I'll have to. Yeah, I'm going through it a little bit. We'll see. I think it's going to have to be a trial by fire and see how it goes when I actually get in there. Oh, it'll be cool. Well, let us know. I should explain to our guest, Maggie, that this is a segment called Sexy Time, in which we have a vast amount of experience in the world of romance, as you can imagine. Hell, yeah. Oh, yeah. Yes. And with our level of maturity, we had a certain genius to say qua to our advice. But try to keep it clean, will you please? We have a couple of letters. What have we got here? Better than therapy. Dear Allie, my husband called me the wrong name in bed the other day, and we kind of laughed about it because we've been married for 17 years. But then I found out that the name he called me is one of his new coworkers. he's worried he's having an affair that he's at least thinking about having an affair with her no he's definitely not having an affair because when you're having an affair you triple check that you're not going to say the wrong name there are no accidents yes if you go to a restaurant and the waitress has the same name as her we need to sit at a different table but he might have I don't know I've never understood how this happened 17 years and he calls out the wrong name Yeah. With a name that just entered his life. I mean, that's a little bit subconscious. Well, that's why you stick with baby and honey. Oh, yeah. And sugar. Was it female? What if he was just like, Jeff? This would be a whole different letter. Would you be more of that? You never know. It doesn't say what the name was. If it was a really exotic name. Or maybe it was like a porn star's name. Maybe you've been watching some sort of videos. Now, Josh, I'm not up on contemporary pornographic actresses. Who is the most famous? Is there like a Linda Lovelace of this era? We talked about one of them because she was going to football games. Bella Danger. She was wildly popular. Isn't that right? Well, she's probably not. Lisa Ann? She's probably still around. Yeah. I remember that name. Doing MILF. Yeah, right. Yeah, she was always kind of one of the go-to MILFs. Our conclusion in any of it, I don't think this guy is necessarily. But the only reason we're saying that is we're kind of upholding the guy code. Well, brains do just misfire. That's true. But it's because there's something in the subconscious, usually. Yeah. Maybe she's in HR and he's in trouble for something. Could be. Yeah, he's in trouble for banging the lady next door. He's in trouble for sleeping with Jeff. Don't be fooled by HR. Those are always the horniest ladies in the office. Has anyone in here ever called someone by the wrong name? Only I get it during an argument, which did not help the argument. Was the name you used significant in any way? The name in two ways. It was her sister's name and also the name of the girl I was in love with in high school. And she knew, obviously, she was aware of both. That's beautiful. Oh, that's a tough one. I'd only start to extend the argument. Now, I have another question. Should she ask the guy about it? Could she say, look, the other night you mentioned Delores. I mean, they did kind of laugh about it, but now she could go, hey, I trust you, but what do you think happened there? And then she goes, I've got some pictures of her. Well, I was fantasizing about the girl who got the desk next to me. What do you mean what happened? Okay, well, let's move on. We're talking with Allie Breen. You can reach Allie, A-L-L-I-B-R-E-E-N. You can reach her on your favorite social media platform with your love troubles like this one. Dear Allie, my girlfriend just moved in with me, and it's going great. The one problem is she has a really annoying family, and they come over a lot. They eat all the snacks. They control what we watch on TV. It's her mom and her sister who she's very close to, but can't she just go to their place when she wants to hang out? It's unfair to me and my space. Can't I say something? Yeah, say something. Yeah, go ahead. Oh, really? God. Her mom and her sister are eating all the snacks. Yeah. Yeah, my brother-in-law. Oh, God. Yeah. They're snack eaters. So what's the best way to deal with this? Communication or move? You don't. Don't you just shut up? Yeah. Are you serious? You wouldn't say something? You shut up and then... Get another CV. You have a stroke when you're 82. There are plenty of fish and seeds. Cut her loose. Cut her loose. Yeah. I don't know. You would say something? That is a very college problem. I was going to say, like, that's a metaphor for much bigger things that are going to be happening. I think you need to establish boundaries. Yes. Yes. Yes. It's not a problem that I have, so I don't know what to do. I would talk to them. Or just maybe say one day a week or something. Just compromise. Right. B-Y-O-S. You women are saying traps for men out there. You do not mean what you're saying. You don't mean anything you're saying. What do you mean we don't mean what we're saying? Another way to say it is you're lying. Okay, that's good. Let's just move on. Once again, our guest is Allie Breen. This is the show Sexy Time. Who can we help next, Allie? Dear Allie, I just got into a serious relationship, and our sex life has been great. He's really into nipple play, parentheses, on him, which has been fine, but now he wants me to really squeeze them hard, bite them, and he brought out nipple clamp the other day. Do you think it ends here, or is this the beginning of a full S&M relationship? I'm a little worried. They make nipple clamps? Well, if they don't, you can use gator clips. Alligator ellips? You just hook them to a car battery? Well, if you jump on it, it's all you want. Yeah, then you're trunced. No, it won't necessarily lead to a harder S&M, but he wants the nipple play hard. Wow, he doesn't play hard. Yeah, which I would think would lead somewhere. If you want it harder and harder on your nipples, then you're going to need some, like, rise somewhere else, don't you think? Soldering iron. you could just slice them off that was hard and now I don't have to worry about this anymore or pierce them, do the Cuomo anger Cuomo thing wow who knew this was going to go political not political, just human who knew that that dude yeah okay, well I think we've answered that one any conclusive thoughts on that I can't imagine wanting that. That's just not for me. Not me either. Yeah, ouch. The whole pain situation combined with sex makes no sense to me. Yeah. I can't imagine you like any sort of... He's like a teeny baby and he'll change his mind. No. You don't care for anything like that, Tom, doing a nipple part. God, this is so weird. By the way. All these people that are writing, they're such weirdos. You know, I've never agreed with him more. Yeah, we don't know how weirdos. Why do they have time to be so weird? Okay, let's go. We have time for a couple more letters, Allie. Can you shut my nipples in a car door? That would be good. Yeah, just get him two of those fish that you see in aquariums that, like, clean the sides. Oh, God. The piranhas? The side of her face. Yeah, yeah. Oh. Dear Allie, I have been dating a guy for almost a year, and I just started getting DMs from his ex. She's telling me they're cheating together and that it's been going on for a long time. I obviously showed him the messages, and he said she was crazy and that she was crazy before, so why am I just reacting to this now? I said, obviously, she never reached out to me. I think I believe him, but now I'm getting upset that he would even date this crazy person. It makes me feel like he's way less of a catch, right? What do I do here? See, that's not fair. If you want to take this, Josh, I can see the disgust in your body. Ladies, you really make it hard for us to want to be with you. It's not that difficult. He has a crazy ex. And now you're going to be. And now you're crazy. You want that, man? And then maybe that's why he likes you. You're iteration two of insane. He has a type. Now I'm mad at him for dating her in the first place. Before you met her. Before you existed. Right. It's one of our favorite things to do, to be mad about things that happen before we can. uh-huh mania oh yeah do you ever wait do you ever wake up and get mad about something that your husband was doing in a dream yeah in your dream he had nothing to do with yep look men are not different than what maybe they need to go have an affair with their older girlfriend that's happened what's the problem cheating can't save a marriage that's exactly right. It's in Josh's new book. Where did you go wrong? The guy who's never been married. Josh's new book, Still Alone. And it's just me smiling on the phone. Holding all my money. I'll finish this book as soon as I'm done fishing. We're speaking with comedian Allie Breen, who's going to be in London, England. When's your gig in London? Tomorrow night in Camden at 8am. I have to find out the venue, though. Oh, cool. I'll see if I can get my nieces to come over and say hello. Are your nieces in London? Yeah, they both live in London, yeah. Oh, yes. Allie can be reached A-L-L-I-B-R-E-E-N internationally on your favorite social media platform. Yes. And on WhatsApp. Say, hey, Allie. We've got time for a letter. What have you got? Dear Allie, my husband and I have two kids, and whenever we go on vacation or on a date night, my family is always the one who watches them. Both of our families live less than half an hour away, but when his family watches them, we pay them. My family loves their grandkids, so it's not like they want to be paid, but I'm getting mad at his side of the family for charging us to spend time with their own grandkids. That is weird. That is not cool. Well, he says relax is still cheaper and better than a babysitter, but isn't this crazy? I think it's a little crazy. Yeah, I think it's a little crazy, yeah. I mean, I don't know their financial situation, but I would think. Maybe as a courtesy, you should offer both sets of grandparents. I can get going, hey, here's $30 if you want to order pizza. Right. Yeah. Right. It's a big help on how often they're using the grandparents. I think if the grandparent, you know, could be doing something out, like working a part-time job and they're watching a child, you know, four or five days a week, I think it's okay to throw them some money. but is it a little weird to ask? Yeah, just every day you're going to have the kids for the weekend. Here's $200. Yeah, I mean, odd. $200, I'll watch them. Yeah. Some good friends. You know, Pat will come over and watch the kids and do a couple songs. I'll walk the dogs, say whatever you need. Well, you know, Tom's kid has to have truffle fries, so that's why I do it. I know the place. Those are some good truffle fries. Interesting. Oh, yeah. That's a very awkward situation. But as you say, they may have a very difficult financial situation. So, yeah, just throw them some cash. But I would certainly offer the other set of grandparents, hey, by the way, just as not like they wanted it, but, hey, here's some cash. They might not take it. Yeah, there's a chance. What are you talking about? Yeah, they may not take it, but at least you've made the effort. Or just leave it on the, you know. Dresser? Give it to one of the kids. Hey, if your grandma takes you out to lunch, you can pay for it. Is it not paying the ones they're paying? Is that on the table? Right. I know. Why isn't that on the table? Weeping it with the one set of grandparents. Yeah. Just stop paying everybody. Right. I know. But they may have a financial issue. I don't think so. You know? What do I know? I think even if you have a financial issue, visiting with your grandkids isn't how you solve, you know, charging your family. I don't want them behind the bushes after they set up a lemonade stand. Or a kid with a cardboard GoFundMe sign. No parents. We can squeeze in one more letter. Allie Breen, what have you got? Dear Allie, I, wait, let's see. We went on a double date. Dear Allie, when we go on a double date with my best friend and her boyfriend, her boyfriend does all this stuff, like pulling out chairs, holding doors, complimenting both of us. And it always causes a fight because then I get upset with my boyfriend for not doing any of that stuff. He said, then we're just going to stop going out with them if it keeps making me mad. But I said, why can't he just change and be better? He's right here. Oh, boy. He should have picked up on those cues, I think. Yeah, you think in the moment you feel like an idiot. Maybe I should step it up a little bit. But he's not picking up. He's not doing that. He's not going to. either you're going to live with it or... That's his way. That's his way. It's okay. That's your way? That's okay? I'm sure he has other fine qualities. Or he could tell his buddy, hey, for God's sake, you're making me look bad. Cut it out. But I like his solution of punishing her. We're just not going to go out with him anymore if you're going to get upset. That's just clear thinking. That's one of the things that we're... That's where guys make it very difficult for women to be with us. That's also in the book. Here's where you went wrong. There are two volumes. Oh, yeah. Okay. Well, thanks, Allie. Once again, you can reach Allie. A-L-L-I-B-R-E-E-N. Have a good time in London. Good luck in Camden. Bye, Allie. Nice to meet you. Thank you. You posted. Okay. Bye, Allie. The international Allie Marine. Oh, boy. This is a whole new. That'll be fun going on stage in London, though. Yeah. Got to make some adjustments. Pat, have you done that? Yeah. How did it go? Did you have to adjust some stuff? I did adjust. It was a little nerve-wracking, yeah. Well, it's better you had that guy with Tourette's in the audience. There are a lot of expats in London. No, but I mean the English sensibility is different. They're quiet laughers. They're a really intelligent audience, and they kind of banter back and forth really well. They know how to play by the rules, sort of, and they join in. It was fun. It was good to see how Allie does. Right now, I want to help you guys out there and you ladies out there. Because a lot of moms out there, and it's time to start thinking about Mother's Day. May 10th. And the deal is here, you can get this done right now before it's too late. I do it today. Go to IHateStevenSinger.com. Steven Singer's got some great bracelets, necklaces, earrings, et cetera, et cetera. You can go online at IHateStevenSinger.com. Peruse the catalog, if you will. And, by the way, all the folks in the pictures work with Steven. So it's a nice crowd. It's a family affair. Yeah, it is indeed. Steve is a great guy. He's always been very helpful to me, and he can be helpful to you. And I almost forgot he's got the new Sunrise 24-karat gold-dipped rose. We don't have ours yet. We've got to get one in here. This is an actual rose dipped in 24-karat gold. And you've heard about the price of gold. Well, Stephen says, that's okay. I'm still going to handle this. I'm going to keep the price down to $89 for the Sunrise rose. Once again, it's a sparkling blue with a pinkish-purple that goes up to a warm golden yellow. It's a stunning, real rose. It'll last forever, of course. It comes in a beautiful gift box. And shipping is always free with Steven Singer. And he's got the famous Steven Singer guarantee. Visit the inventory, if you will, by going to IHateStevenSinger.com. Celebrate those moms in your life. And there may be a bunch of them. Take care of them with something nice from Steven Singer Jewelers. Once again, you find them at IHateStevenSinger.com. We shall return. We're hanging out with comedian Maggie Hughes DiPaolo. And these are the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios, and this is the Bob and Tom Show. Got a comment to share? Text us at 888-262-8661. This is the Bob and Tom Show. Counting crows. Hey, welcome back to the Bob and Tom Show in the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios. Think O'Reilly Auto Parts for all your car care needs. Get the parts and service you need fast from the professional parts people. at O'Reilly Auto Parts. Christy Lee at the news desk. Hello. There's Pat Godwin. Hey, Chick. With the guitar and the organ and the keyboard and the thing. And there's Josh Arnold. Hi. Ace Cosby. Hello. I'm Chick McGee. Hello, Tom. We have a special guest. We do indeed. Hello, Chick McGee. And hello, Christy Lee. Hi. We have a few more news stories you've got to polish off here. What have you got over there? What do we have over here? Did you know that Native Americans were gambling thousands of years ago? That doesn't help that stereotype. No, I wrote it. They gaveled that these European visitors were really friendly. Yeah, they were making dice and gambling thousands of years before anyone else in the world, according to new research. Making dice? Yeah. Wow. Do you think they used molars? Molars would be okay dice. Sure. I'm sure Indian. I mean, elephant does. Oh, that's right. I forgot that America was inundated with that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Until about 1850. The woolly mammoth. Then the buffalo. We had our molars yet. Evidence reveals the earliest known dice chick in human history. 1982. Made and used by hunter-gatherers on the Western Plains more than 12,000 years ago at the end of the Ice Age. No kidding. Really? Boy, it's really cold. You know, we need some dice to win. Little craps? I understand they did what's that thing called? Is it Kalshi? What? What is the thing where you can No, it's kimchi. You can bet on anything right now. You can bet on events. You can bet on wars. Oh my gosh. Literally. You can bet on certain people in office. Will they be out? Yes. there were people who were betting on certain people being fired in the current administration. That might be a disease. No, but I mean, it's a legal, I think it's called, is it Calci? It's a place you can go. I've never heard of it. Gotcha. You can bet. I bet on the NFL, that's it. I lose enough there. Yeah, well, this is similar to sports betting. There's a lot of controversy about it. People were betting on when certain places would be bombed. Yeah, that's rough. Oh, my God, that's terrible. But I mean, I guess back then, Sitting Bull was a 10-to-1 favorite at the Battle of the Little Bighorn. so it didn't pay much would have been a good bet nobody had Custer in the points nobody nicely done we thought we weren't going to go anywhere with that I don't know I'll have to look it up it's really controversial it sounds like it people are betting on really unpleasant at least hurtful like the birth weight of the baby born at the New York airport. Yeah. Sure. Yeah. That could be. Oh, yeah. You could probably, the next time a baby is born in flight, what airline would it be? I just felt like we had to call back to that. Qantas. Got to hit Qantas. Oh, never mind. They'll erase their baggage fees again, by the way, today. Here we go. Holly Market. Holly Market. Holly Market? Well, that's not Calci at all. No. What are you thinking? That must be, I just was hurting, I heard a news story, but that must be one of them. I don't know. Oh, okay. A motorist arrested after he was caught driving in reverse on a busy road in Florida. We have this video. Totally my fault. This is great. Flagler County Sheriff's Office shared footage of the man reversing through an intersection and driving down State Road 100. I'd like to think he's whistling. Absolutely. When drivers caught up with the driver, a 47-year-old by the name of William Murphy III told them he had a mechanical issue, and he thought the best option was to drive the car backwards to a repair shop. Okay. Murphy's Law. Authorities know the car did not appear to have any trouble when they questioned the driver. He was arrested for habitual driving with a suspended or revoked license. Oh. He has over 10 prior convictions. Okay. You know, maybe he's a really good driver. If he can drive backwards like that. He's been convicted. Okay, here's the video. See how he does. We're watching the video. No, he's not a very good driver at all. It almost looks like you're watching a backwards video. Right. Well, he's at speed on a... Yeah, but there's nobody around him. Oh, this guy's a moron. That looks like Chad Daniels. Is that Chad Daniels? I can't believe Chad Daniels would do this. Good God, Chad. Oh, man. Wake up, Chad. This guy is just a slob. Just a slob. He's backing up at speed on a regular road. He's insane. If you have ten prior convictions... Oh, and he was released on $1,000. This is why if I were a judge. Uh-huh. No, no, no. This guy would be in the slammer. Andy was on his phone texting. That would be something. Maybe he was just trying to get the odometer to go down. It doesn't work that way. Yeah, does that work that way? Did you watch Ferris Bueller? No. It did not work. Oh, that's right. Great scene, that is. And finally this morning, Kenyan authorities have arrested a man for allegedly trying to smuggle 2,000 live ants in his luggage. Really? The Chinese national, I've identified as Mr. Zhang Kekuan, was arrested at Jomo Kenyatta International Airport. Jomo Kenyatta. Jomo. Jomo. Jomo. Jomo says what? Trying to leave the country. They call him the picnic ruiner. A search of the 27-year-old's luggage recovered 2,238 ants. Who counted? Wait a minute. How many did you have? 2,238. I lost four. Christy's right. What kind of a gig is that? Well, Johnson, you've got to get out of the storage room and count the ants. Here's the magnifying glass. Do not put it near the lights. I had 2,242. You know there's some smartass behind him going, 7, 9, 5, 5. This is the best part of the story. Ant aficionados. Sure. I'd like to think there's a magazine. I get their newsletter. Ant muffling. They pay large sums to maintain colonies and large transparent vessels. Oh, I love those. Known as formicariums. Those are cool. Which offer a literal window into the species, complex social structures, and behaviors. Oh, you like an ant farm? Like an ant farm. It's called an ant farm. Did you have an ant farm when you were a kid? No, but we had one at school. I bet you were an ant farm bully. If they weren't making the tunnels you wanted, you just etch-a-sketched it. Put water in it. You were one of those guys who went over and shook the ants. I bet you did. I would think there would be a lot more money smuggling, I don't know, ivory? Yes, what are these ants for, did he say? Hey, I've got ants in my pants. I mean, come on. Ants aficionados spend a lot of money for ants. They must be some kind of special gigantic Kenyan ant. Exoskeleton monthly. You said the guy was leaving Kenya, right? I did. Can you smuggle ants? Yes. Apparently. I guess you can. Boy, we're in on that. Thank you very much. We're going to go out on that. Thank God we went on. Pick that one. Hey, buddy, come on. Why don't you keister some drugs and make yourself some cash? Yeah. Thank you very much. Thanks for stopping by. Maggie? Thank you for having me. And Maggie's got a couple of gigs coming up in other spots, including Nashville at Zaney's and the Milwaukee Improv April 29th. He'll be in Nashville April 13th. Real quick, Maggie, where can people find you? Instagram. Great. I'm also on MyChart. Yeah, I just joined. You can follow me on MyChart. Yes, Instagram, YouTube, and Facebook. All right. Thank you very much. Thank you so much for having me. These are the O'Reilly Auto Parts Studios. This is the Bob and Tom Show. Thanks for listening to the Bob and Tom Show this morning. The show is also out there for you on our YouTube channel. Watch and subscribe. This is the Bob and Tom Show. Hi, I'm Joe Salci. I host of the Stacking Benjamins podcast. Most economists agree a small amount of inflation is actually good. 2% is what you're going for. So why is everybody freaking out? Oh, because it's the fallout. People don't track their budget. You have this slow slipping that happens every month. So all of a sudden you go, man, I don't have any money. The reason is now two people go to a restaurant. The bill is $60 for two. Two guys walk into a restaurant. They start screaming. Isn't that hilarious? $60. Ah! Stacking Benjamins. Follow and listen on your favorite platform. you