1430 - Nick Is Into Pantyhose and Recently Started Fully Dressing Up

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Now my Patreon is super great especially for guys who have like either a pantyhose or a cross-dressing fetish because I do have a hoser tier I call guys who are into pantyhose hosers and I have a cross-dressing tier. Now both of those tiers get every single episode on my show early ad-free and intro-free. You guys also get all of the picks of all of my guests plus you get exclusive extra content hoser and cross-dressing episodes that can be heard nowhere else except on my Patreon. I give each tier one free episode a month and you have access to all the ones I've put up there previously so there's tons of like I said exclusive hoser and cross-dressing episodes over on my Patreon and you'll also get a free complimentary link to my Discord which has a hoser and cross-dressing channel. There's lots of channels in there you can meet people like-minded people it's a great place this is not safe for work it's locked down but you can get in there if you join my Patreon. The cross-dressing tier is $10 you get the hoser episodes and the cross-dressing episodes as well as everything else and the hoser tier is $8 a month. Now listen you could also get access to my Discord by buying my book I have a new book out it's called Strictly Non-Miscond confession secret sex lives of total strangers there's fetish stories in there hot wife stories cuck stories you name it I got a story in there 17 hot stories all written in the third person taken from my show that book is available anywhere you buy books I will put the link in the description and if you buy the book and send me a screenshot of your receipt of purchase I will also give you complimentary access to my private Discord all of the links to everything that I talked about are in the description oh my god today I have a Nick Nick is a hoser slash recent cross-dresser and he's got a funny story I mean it's not funny it's interesting because there's a lot of layers to it he talks about him being into nylons and you know wearing them when he was younger he got caught a bunch of times he's always been wearing them he got married when he was super young so he's been with the same woman forever she's always warned for him he told her he was really into it he explains how that came up she's worn in the bedroom when they're intimate he talks about how that came up and how she reacted eventually he dressed up he wore in front of her and he talks about how she was not into it and how that happened and then many years after that first time of her catching him she kind of like he kind of like put on the table like this is really what I'm into and she said okay you know she gave him a free pass to do to wear underneath his clothes or to wear and then he had the free pass and then for some reason he started being into like cross-dressing and he wound up getting majorly busted fully cross-dressed by his wife when she fucking flipped out and she's not allowing him to cross just anymore he went to therapy he came to terms with his cross-dressing but he still has the urges and his wife thinks that those urges should just go away and she won't allow him to cross just even though she's okay with all the wearing and stuff and he does have like this whole part of him that is very into wearing and cross-dressing and wearing his hose behind his wife's back like there's the naughtiness about it like since he was younger that naughty thing that he was always into is a big part of his kink so therein lies the problem with Nick okay you're going to hear it at the end it's a super interesting story with many layers so I'm going to get right to him be right back on with Nick. Hey Nick welcome to the Strictly Anonymous podcast how are you today? I'm fine Kathy thank you. No thank you for calling in you're what I call a hoser right you got a pantyhose fetish. Very much so. I forget who came up with that name but it's such a great name right hoser have you heard of that I have a whole hoser fetish here on my patreon you're going to get free access to it are you also cross-dressed though right? I do yes. Okay so which came first I would assume the pantyhose fetish? Definitely the pantyhose fetish came first I mean yeah anything kind of nylon to be honest. Oh good okay we're going to get your whole story so wait let me just get a snapshot of where you're at now are you married I know like you said you messed up with your wife quote unquote I don't know with that and we'll get to that part. No. Are you currently married? I have been married yes and we're coming up actually on 30 like 30 years. Oh wow so you're married to the same woman for a long time. Okay great now does she know about your fetish let's just answer yes or no okay cool. All right we'll go there but we'll get there right but let's go all the way back since this is a fetish episode let's get your backstory like it's specific to nylon right so like you know when do you remember sort of like you're did you have like a first vision of nylon a first feeling of nylon like what is your first memory of like why like you being into nylon when you were little I'm assuming. Honestly like I don't recall like a specific age like some of your deaths. Of course yeah of course that's normal but you know maybe because I'm older and I just don't have that memory but honestly from a kid I just remember being young and like I had like a younger brother and you know definitely I was always interested in in nylons and you know. But you had a brother so he's not wearing nylons like where did you see the nylons what were nylons like what what like where was where were the nylons in your life that you knew you were into them. I don't even really think like I don't remember or have memories of like my mom wearing them a ton although she worked in like a an office setting so maybe I kind of just saw them and was like oh man I like the look of that but I do remember I had like a really good friend and his mom always wore like you know jeans and and like nylons and I remember oh you would see them underneath her jeans. Oh yeah totally yeah you know what I mean like she would be on the phone or whatever and you know it always kind of caught my attention you know just like the look and and everything about it. Yeah that's interesting so you that you remember more than seeing it in your house and everything but oh yeah those are the kind of memories you remember so now do you remember ever like touching them feeling them like getting your hands on a pair. Oh yeah yeah I mean yeah I mean I remember wearing them as you know when I was young for sure. Okay so where did that happen and how did that happen? It honestly just happened I used to I was kind of the kid that would like hide them you know in my room. You'd steal them from your mom? Well I don't recall stealing them from my mom although I probably did. That's why you're that's why you're not telling the story like that because it's like you just you don't remember how you got them but you know and you remember that you had them in your like in your hands I mean on you know in your room. Absolutely yes and I used to hide them I used to hide them all over the place you know. Oh my god you had a stash all over. Oh yeah I mean I remember having a water bed and like back in those days. Oh my god remember water beds? Hide them under the water bed. Oh my god that's so fucking funny but wait let's go back so first of all you're hiding them all over the place do you remember ever getting caught did anyone ever find that? Oh yeah. Yes for sure yes. Oh my god. My mom and dad caught me many times and would always talk to me about it. Yeah and you know they they never really said like hey this is bad you know you shouldn't be doing it but they would kind of ask questions like you know why are you doing this and and then they would just kind of like you know collect them and probably throw them out or whatever and then I would just collect some more and hide them some more. Did they ever catch you wearing or just stashing? Never caught me wearing mostly stashing. Right okay and then when they would ask you like did you have any kind of answer for them? I know I mean I just remember being young and not really being able to kind of explain. Exactly yeah. Why why I like them but I just did. Yeah yeah okay so they caught you numerous times they take them away you would just keep calling okay do you remember the first time you tried some on? I don't remember the first time I mean I have memories of being very young and trying them on and I remember you know one time where you know I was just scrambling because I had some on and I don't remember my age but I remember hearing the footsteps and then you know yanking them off and then me probably running naked into my bedroom where my parents were like what is going on you know. Right but they didn't catch you. They did not catch me. Okay cool because I kind of just chucked them under the sofa. Right and now when you would try them on like what do you remember about those experiences like do you remember that it was like the feeling that you were into to look at yourself in the mirror? Did you like the way your legs looked like was it all above? I mean kind of all the above although I never really looked at myself in the mirror you know honestly just the feeling you know I just remember like liking the softness of them and then also like you know kind of probably in the back of my head knowing that maybe I wasn't supposed to do it which was kind of arousing. It was like naughty and you knew that. For sure yeah absolutely. And you got like a rush out of it probably. Yeah totally yeah absolutely. Yeah okay so now when you start to get older like in your teenage years like middle school high school like what was going on with you then so because I would think you'd have more memories from that time of your life. Yes for sure and that's when I started buying my own stuff. Wow so I mean if you're married to your wife for a long time you're like you know at an age where you know you couldn't buy them on Amazon so you were pretty ballsy if you were going into stores and buying yourself. Yeah I would absolutely I would go into like a lingerie store and be like hey I'm shopping for my wife or not my wife my girlfriend. Yeah and they'd be like oh what's her size and I kind of be like oh she looks like you kind of thing like I didn't really care if they fit overly well I would just like looking for the actual item right. Oh my god. So oh yeah. And what were your like did you have a specific type that you liked a specific color? Denier like did you like sheer to toe? Like sheer. Definitely sheer you know at that time you know when I remember buying mostly black you know. Oh that's interesting because typically hoses are like so into the nude color but you were into black. At that time I was yeah absolutely because you know back in the day like there just wasn't the access that you have now with with everything so like you know there was a small lingerie shop and I would kind of like wander in there and buy some stuff and I'm sure like looking back at it they were like why does this guy keep coming in to buy? They might have known. You're not the only guy into pantyhose. All the people that work in the pantyhose sections I think that they know. Yeah exactly. Oh my god so funny. Yeah right so because you're in a lingerie store there's probably a lot more black in colors than there are nude right because you're not in like you know the part you're not in a department store it would be a totally different scene so that's probably why you're buying black because they're more sexy they go at lingerie. Exactly. It wasn't your preference it was just it was more available. No it wasn't really my exactly it wasn't my preference it was more like that was what was available and I felt like it looked good so I yeah I would buy the whole ensemble like the stockings, the garter, the whole deal. Oh okay so is this where like a little bit more of the dressing comes into play? Yeah absolutely like I would wear you know more of that stuff and then you know I remember my dad kind of catching me the one time because I had all these all this lingerie in my you know tucked away in my desk and you know he was just kind of like don't let your mom find this you know that was all he said. He found all your lingerie but he probably thinks you like like he definitely probably didn't think you were wearing them right? I think he maybe you know in the back of his mind was hoping like I hope he's not wearing it. Hopefully it's for his girlfriend but you know. Yeah because I remember I've said this before I remember watching a reality TV show and the guy was moving with his girlfriend and his girlfriend opens up one of his drawers where they're moving the dresser and she finds like a bra and you know she fucking flips out and I'm like you know 99% of the audience right now is thinking oh he's fucking cheating on her but I'm like you know maybe he wears that bra maybe that's not a girl's bra and it's his right like you would never think that way you don't know so I'm wondering does your father think you're wearing women's lingerie? I don't think so. Well I think you know probably he was probably like oh shit I hope he isn't but whatever if he is kind of thing you know. No you think that because you were wearing it but I don't think I don't know I think he maybe thought you just like liked lingerie on women so you were like like to look at it and stuff. There's no way people think that guys are wearing lingerie. You think that because that's what you were into but the average vanilla person like your parents unless your dad had the same kink and it's genetic I don't think he thought you were wearing. I mean did he say anything to you about wearing it? No not really just kind of like hey don't let your mom see that was about it and then he never even took him away which I was like okay that's kind of cool. Yeah I'm thinking he thought this was like you like girls in lingerie kink that's what I'm thinking anyway but you probably do also like lingerie on women correct? I love yeah I love any kind of nylon on women yes. Okay guys want not only bigger loads but better tasting loads as well okay well then listen you need to go right now and get yourself some load boost by VB health okay. I have heard from so many guys that it not only works but it works fast. 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Go to quince.com slash strictly non for free shipping and 365 day returns now available in Canada too. Go to quince.com slash strictly a non for free shipping and 365 day returns. That's quince.com slash strictly a non or just go to the description and click on the link. That girl's in lingerie kink that's what I'm thinking anyway but you probably do also like lingerie and women correct? I love yeah I love any kind of nylon on women yes. Right right right it's not just it is and that's what's interesting about guys even that crush dress or guys that like pantyhose I mean it is like their extreme attraction to women wearing these things you know. Yeah for sure yeah. So you're buying lingerie now you're wearing all that now do you feel like different when you have that stuff on like you know like how and does you know do you feel like more like a female or more in touch with a feminine side or anything like that or is it just strictly about like wearing it and the tactile sensation? Yeah I mean I definitely like the feeling I liked you know just sliding sliding it on even just like you know attaching the the garter belt to the stockings right like it just was all pretty arousing to me at the time I definitely remember that so for sure and you know. But you weren't feeling like a sissy or like very feminized or that kind of. No not at that time that comes in later and we can get to that but definitely like at this point it was just like you know this is this feels amazing this is super hot it's kind of a little bit naughty I love it. Right okay and so when you start dating girls how old are you when you wind up getting married are you super young is like your is your wife like the first girl you dated kind of? Yeah I got married young I kind of like growing up I was pretty heavy into athletics and then ended up you know moving away so I was kind of like always around you know kind of guys and just very busy so I didn't have a ton of time for women so really she was kind of like you know my first kind of serious girlfriend. Right okay now did you let her in then on the fact that you like to see her in lingerie in pantyhose or was she someone that naturally wore for you anyway? No I did not and that's probably my maybe my first mistake but I was young and really didn't quite understand you know how to go about this so. Of course. You know I know I I I do remember you know buying I was like hey like can I buy you some lingerie and you know I remember buying her this like you know white set of lingerie with like the stockings and you know kind of the full piece you know corset or whatever you call it and thinking like oh man this is amazing you know because she was wearing it and she was super sexy. Yeah. So loved it. Right okay so but I yeah go on. Sorry I was just gonna say like I but I did not reveal how deep my fetish was at that time for sure. Right so you have this stash I'm assuming of like nylons and lingerie was there anything else in your clothing been at this time as far as like cross-dressing is concerned or is it just like lingerie and the nylons? Just lingerie and nylons. Right okay so when you wind up moving in and getting married are you like dressing up behind her back and keeping your stash of stuff in your house somewhere? No I say I actually didn't dress up behind her back for a long time you know I was more like into porn and you know always looking at that and she was kind of like she she just didn't really you know want me looking at porn so that was kind of she didn't understand that was the best thing yeah for you for sure because that was the way you would be able to sort of express that part of yourself right that's why you were able to not dress right? Exactly so I would look at a lot of porn and then I I did start to ask her to wear like you know pantyhose during sex you know and we would like you know just take the crotch out kind of thing so she did she wore that all the time for me. Did she ever question that? Yeah at first she did because she was kind of like why you know why do you always want me to wear this stuff and you know why don't you just like me for me right? Oh god it's that same thing every girl thinks about it. It is you it's you and pantyhose. Yeah absolutely so I'm like look you're you're super hot you know I love you you're sexy but when you have this on it drives me insane. Yeah yeah you know yeah I've never been in that position too so I don't know if I would be the same way but it does being on the outside of it it doesn't make sense to me why so many women feel that way you know but maybe it's because you're like were you pushing it all the time in the bedroom? I was pushing it all the time and you know just being just being young I probably didn't you know ask for it in the proper manner you know. Yeah and pushing it too much you're super horny and that's always like the downfall and unfortunately that happens a lot with a fetish because it's so powerful right? Oh yeah absolutely so yeah and you know I wouldn't treat her you know looking back on it you know I would treat her better when she was wearing them you know right? Oh my god. So she she almost came to resent them you know. Wow interesting. Just because of the way that I was going about it. Right because now she sees it. Yeah it's very obvious to her that you're like more into this other stuff than her now I could see where she's coming from you know what I mean? Yeah yeah and you can too obviously looking back. Yeah for sure yes. Yeah it's super interesting. Okay so you're asking her to wear she's doing it right? You're not wearing in front of her though or anything like that. Not wearing in front of her. And you're still not even wearing behind her back? No exactly. Okay well I know that something happens where you fuck up. Oh yeah okay. Sure. So you're watching porn right and you're just buying for her and everything what then eventually changes? Honestly you know our relationship kind of just changed over time and you know I just you know I guess I was more honest with her you know about like hey I really like when you wear this stuff so you know and so we would go to a system it was pretty funny where like you know I would actually like because she was kind of a stay-at-home mom you know we had two kids so I would like give her some money and be like hey like I'll give you some cash you know although it was our money it was kind of just a way of like here's some free spending cash and will you wear what I want you to wear for me? And so she was happy to do that. Okay. So that's how we kind of made an adjustment there you know so it took away some of that anger that she had wearing them because she was like well shit I'm gonna get some money I might as well wear them right? Yeah kind of smart yeah go on. Yeah okay. So she was she was pretty smart so she definitely played played my fetish well which which was good or she would you know and this kind of ties into later on and we can talk about it is kind of like you know my more I guess submissive fantasies where she would like make me do housework or something like that. Oh you're kidding. Right yeah exactly so she'd be like well clean the house and then when we go out for you know date night I'll I'll wear something for you kind of thing right? Uh huh. So so it got it got pretty good like she would wear them pretty frequently when when I would do that so. And did you start getting into that kink of like sort of being submissive? Oh yeah. Is she putting that together or does she just think you're doing that so she wears? I think she probably didn't understand that she was maybe creating a monster. Yeah she just thinks she's gotten you to do something like a chore it's like you're her chill you know what you do to your son you know what I mean? Yeah exactly she was like later on she's probably like oh shit what did I do right? Okay so now you're getting into being or a little sub. Oh yeah okay go on. Exactly yeah so anyways we would do that for the longest time and like you know I would just give her cash and then eventually you know it kind of reached a point where she was just like you know hey I just want to do this for you and you don't have to pay me money anymore and so that was that that was great you know so we did transition to that but it took some time. Right okay how long? Oh man I would say at least like years? Yeah probably over five years for sure. Okay and then what happens then? And then honestly our marriage was just in a better place and you know she would she would wear them you know quite frequently you know. Yeah that's amazing. Yeah it was you know and I really appreciated it but I kind of had to change my inner self a little bit where you know even if she wasn't wearing them if we went on at a date night like I would still like be like hey you look so good and she'd be like well I'm not wearing any nylons and I'm like it's all good. That's smart. You still look amazing right? Yes because now you're making her realize it's not just the hose it's her too. You're doing a little bit more moderate. Exactly and that's because she's feeding into it right? It's easier to be moderate when you're getting what you want right? For sure. Yeah yeah people tend to like push when they're trying to resist something you know she was more allowing of it right so you were more moderate. Yes exactly. Yeah okay go on so but she still doesn't know that you're into wearing or anything like that. No okay. So in that and then I kind of started bringing it up where I was like hey like I'd like to you know wear something and think what's something? Well I always so it depends okay so if like you know if I go if we go out you know like somewhere like I might wear like it's it's going to be pantyhose or stockings right so it depends on kind of like the mood that I'm in so I would say at first it started with just pantyhose and she kind of didn't really she was just kind of like you know this is really weird like why do you want to wear it in public you know so she really didn't quite get it but she's like look if you want to do it we'll go back to you paying me and so I would pay her further right? This is like turning into a Fendom like episode. I know yes totally right? The pain thing is so interesting. She doesn't have like a million ques- like does the word fetish ever come up in any of your conversations? Not no not not specifically she knows that I have a huge fetish for nylon so you know I think she's very aware of what it is now just because it's been years of understanding this right? Right right okay so now she knows you also want to wear does she question like have you been wearing all your life? Like does she ask like any of those kinds of questions or she just wants the money to do it? Well she wanted the money but I mean the first time I did it I was kind of an idiot and why would you do? Well you know we back in the day you know we went to a drive-in movie theater and I don't even know if they're around anymore but so anyways we go to this drive-in and I was like well I'm gonna I'm gonna wear some underneath my jeans and did you tell her that? No okay so mistake number one right? Oh yeah and is this the first time you're wearing in front of her? Yes oh my god okay I know like what an idiot right? Well listen you know sometimes it's not bad to just jump in the fucking water you know what it means? Like maybe it wasn't so bad because you just like brought it up oh my god well just thinking about it now like back to it I'm kind of like you dumb idiot like what were you thinking? So anyways we're at the drive-in and then like I kind of like just took off my shoes and slid off my socks and she was like what are you wearing kind of thing and I was like well I'm wearing these and she was like yeah not cool you know I'm not okay with this and so you know we kind of had a little bit of a fight there so that was the first time so she... Wait but wait a second did the conversations about you wanting to wear was that before this time? I never really had any conversations specifically about me wanting to wear. Wait you just said you were bringing up you wanted to wear stuff? Yeah sorry I I'm that that came after that first time. Alright so you haven't even discussed anything? No I just go to the place with the paradigm oh my god. Blam you know what I mean? Like yeah so then after I kind of just shelved it and that's when we got back into hey I want to wear some things and that was that was later on so I did kind of like not do it for a long time with her and then we came to a place where I just said look I this is something that I want to do that the desire to do it was getting stronger for me so I was just honest with her rather than just doing it. How long after the movie theater? I'd say good at you know probably five to ten years. Okay so but after that did she have a million questions or did she not want to fucking talk about it? No she was just like hell no I'm not talking about this. Right she's like don't ever show me that again that's not cool let's sweep it under the rug I got we got kids we got all this shit right like she doesn't want to enter marriage but she doesn't want to talk about it either. Yeah right because I was you know I'm a good husband you know I'm a good father but she also has you know she knew I had this side of me that she wasn't really down with. Well I don't think she knew at that point did she know that you were wearing shit no. No no not really and then like later on it comes in where now you know and I kind of messed up the story but you know basically that's when I say hey I really want to wear something and she was just kind of like really you know she didn't really get it and she was like well why do you want to wear stuff out you know like she was like well just wear it and you know she's like I prefer the bedroom versus like wearing it out in public and for me I enjoyed wearing it out in public because I felt like you know just people not knowing what I was wearing underneath was super arousing and kinky to me. Did you tell her that? I did eventually. Okay but she was like cool with you she's kind of like okay this is what you're into just do it at home. Yes. And do you tell her what you just told me now then or no? Yes. Inspired by jet engine silences the Dyson Hush Jet Purify powerfully purifies the entire room quietly capturing pollen allergens and pet dander removing odours and harmful gases such as NO2 day and night. Hush Jet powerful compact purification that's quiet. Are your ad campaigns lighting up the dashboard? They're not the pipeline that's bull spend and marketers are calling it out in dashboard confessions. My boss asked for results so I opened my dashboard for the only positive sounding metric I had impressions. Cut the bull spend see revenue not just reach. LinkedIn delivers the highest return on ad spend of major ad networks. Advertise on LinkedIn spend 200 pounds on your first campaign and get a 200 pound credit. Go to linkedin.com slash lead terms and conditions apply. Yes I told her because she said well what's the arousal and I told her I said I just find it like super naughty like I know I'm not supposed to be doing it or at least society tells me that I'm not supposed to be doing it but I really find it super arousing. But do the conversations around this time happen that where you explain like your childhood that you've always been into this that you've always worn or does she think this is something new? No. No she never talked to me about my childhood. I know she's talked to my mom about my childhood and almost like you know it's maybe come up between her and my mom and you know maybe she's she's intimated that like you know my mom kind of messed me up a little bit. What do you mean? Well she's just like she feels like my mom should have put a stop to it. You know she couldn't stop it. This woman doesn't understand so she's not your mother didn't mess you up. Your mother actually couldn't like honestly your mother actually did never shamed you about having them. I mean she did the opposite of messing you up. Your mother had nothing to do with your pantyhose fetish okay so you should tell your wife that maybe educate her a little bit because your wife didn't your mom didn't mess you up. If anything she was better than most moms at that time plenty of moms shame their sons when they find them. They're horrified. They send them to therapy. They tell them they're wrong. They punish them. They tell the father like it's a mess. Your mother and father both were actually very cool so they didn't do anything to you. This is all. They were yeah. I think it's more like maybe my wife held out you know she was kind of like oh man if we could go back maybe we could fix you kind of thing. Yeah but why have you never said no this is a fetish and I was born with this. I remember as far as I could remember back in my life I was into this. My parents have nothing to do with it. Why don't you tell her those things. I've told her that. I've told her that like look this is just the way that I am and she's come to accept it. Have you ever used the word fetish? Yes. Okay. Yes. Does she understand? I have. She does. Yes. Doesn't sound like that. She understands now. She understands now a lot better. I can tell you that so because she does she wears them all the time. All the time. You know what I mean. She's very very good. So it was in the beginning when she was like questioning oh if your mother only stopped you you wouldn't have this blah blah blah. Correct. Yep. Exactly. If anything she was the only one traumatizing you in your life because she was the only one shaming you about it telling you you shouldn't. Your parents should have stopped it. Your parents never tried to you know what I mean. Yeah well and I did. I carried a lot of shame for a long time you know and I you know yeah I did carry a lot of shame about like why do I have these desires why do I want to wear you know nylons all the time you know you know what I mean so I totally had shame. That's very common. Yeah it's very common. Yep. And like all right so so it was like years later that she allowed you to wear or right after that I'm very confused with how you're telling the story like how it happens. You tell me. Yes. She throws it under the rug the minute you wear at the movie theater but then you say you do have the conversation she says just wear at home like when how long after she caught you wearing them did she allow you to wear them at home? I would say we're probably talking like maybe 15 years 15 to 20 years down the line you know what I mean. No I don't know what you mean. When you went to the movie theater this was when you were young. We were young yeah we were young we would probably. So the 15 years later the conversation comes up that you say I like to wear. Why does it come up 15 years later what happened? Because I think just being older I was like I just want to fucking do it like I'm tired of not doing it you know the desire. You never did it behind your back just let me ask the question because you're like confusing. So between that time that she finds you wearing in the thing 15 years for those whole 15 years you're just watching porn we're back to that part of the story you're just watching porn never wearing you don't have any stash at home you're not wearing her is when she's not at home you never wear anything for 15 whole years. Very minimally I really pushed it okay great. So no that makes sense you're just telling the story backwards and forwards I can't keep track and that's okay all the stuff is here it's okay I just want to get you back on track. So 15 years goes by you just want to like and I think it's very common you know a lot of guys like people you know everyone hits that time in their life where they're like I don't care when anyone else thinks I just want to be who I am right. You get to a point where you just want to be yourself and tend to your fetish and wear or whatever right and you bring that up to your wife you have this is it a sit down or does she catch you like why 15 years later do you bring it up? Yeah no I just brought it up to her and just said this is something that I want to do. So and is that when she goes talking to your mother like when is the talking to your mother and talking about it with your mother and bringing up all that shit? I don't know exactly when she spoke to my mother I just know she's had passing conversations throughout the years. No but was it about because she didn't want you being into her wearing them or do those conversations and her telling you oh you know your mom could have stopped this and stuff is that after she finds out that you're so obsessed with wearing yourself? Yes yeah exactly she she kind of like you know figured out like oh man like he really likes to wear them and she figured that out because I told her and she's like okay well now he really likes to wear them and you know so that that's how she you know that's how she kind of said well I have spoken to your mother about these things and you know I just wish you didn't have this kind of desire you know and I'm like well this is just the way that I am you know what I mean. Okay and then then what happened let's just get past that whole change over so now she knows she knows you want to wear you want to wear out you explain to her the kink of wearing it out and so then what happens you pay her to wear out? No honestly I didn't she kind of got away from that and was you know she was basically like look you know thank you for being honest with me you know I want you to be able to experience you know you know what you want to experience and I'm gonna let you but she just the only rule that she had was be honest with me and don't do it behind my back and you know just tell me like hey I'd like to wear something tonight under my clothes right and she's like I won't I won't tell you no she's like I'm pretty sure I won't tell you no but just I would appreciate you asking me that's very reasonable and listen you weren't really wearing behind your back a lot or something anything anyway right go on no and you know I appreciated that because I was like well hell I can tell her that but but did I screw it up of course I did like no way you know oh yeah I screwed it up are you kidding me yeah because then it would just you know so what I found was it snowballed for me and like I wanted to wear you know under my clothes and then I started you know just wanting to dress cross dress even more so it turned into me wanting to cross dress and I was like well I didn't want to tell her about cross dressing at all right because I was fine telling her about where wanting to wear you know stockings or pantyhose under my clothes but I felt like and I knew that me wanting to cross dress she would see that as no way I'm very different thing it's a total extra big thing to throw and also it's actually new for you too yeah it it was and you know so then so I actually started doing it behind her back so I would yeah so that was my mistake you know I shouldn't have done that let me ask you this could I just ask you a quick question because yeah forget about your wife and stuff let's talk about why do you think at this point in your life you are in a place where you kind of have a free pass with your wife for your pantyhose fetish and everything and you're finally free to wear as long as you're honest like why do you think do you think it's because you had the freedom that you decided to push it even further do you think that because her knowing like the kink wasn't there anymore and it wasn't naughty anymore so you needed something to make it more naughty so you would threw in the cross dressing like why do you think at that point in your life after you're kind of had a great place with the nylon thing why do you think cross dressing more came into play do you have any idea I think it was because I was just getting older and I just was like you know and I'm sure that me wearing you know pantyhose like you know under my clothes and you know it was a huge rush for me and I think I just wanted to take it further and taking it further meant wearing more clothing yeah yeah that's what happens yeah okay and what was the more clothing that you started to wear oh man I wore I mean I went out and bought everything so everything I mean I bought oh shoes I bought like high heels I bought dresses I bought you know I bought panties I bought lingerie I bought a wig I bought makeup I mean you name it I bought it oh my god where is the shit hidden in your house so I did not hide it in the house I I own a business and I I have a pretty big office and I have a closet and I would stash it in my closet which was locked in my office okay okay cool and would you dress up only when you were there well yeah I would I would dress up at the office I would also like go you know being an owner I have a lot of freedom so I would go for drives and you know then go to a parking lot and get dressed and drive around you know what I mean yeah I know what you mean I've heard these stories so and that was like hot for you to drive around dress up but you're doing this oh oh my god now you're living another secret life and now you're really totally hidden from my wife who I know is going to lose her mind if she finds out oh my god let's get to that place because we know she finds out somehow she does okay let's get there okay so basically my wife took my youngest child to New York for like Thanksgiving and I had the house all to myself you know my son was not living with us at the time and I'm like hell yeah I got the whole weekend I'm gonna get all dressed up you know the whole deal so I got all dressed up and I was like full makeup the whole deal and she calls me and like an idiot I answer the phone and you know kind of like hey how's the trip going good good she's like hey I'm gonna FaceTime you and I'm like oh fuck so I quickly was like oh you know my FaceTime isn't working yeah yeah you could get out of that you couldn't get out of that oh my god you know when you're just like so panicked that you just completely screwed up yeah because you're not thinking properly you weren't thinking properly yeah I'm like I gotta go and I think I hang up the phone but I don't and then she can hear high heels clicking across the tile okay so she thinks that I have another woman in the house oh my god oh my god oh yeah it was just like terrible so then I'm like she's kind of like you know what the fuck is going on you know and and then she called me back and she's like this what you have another woman there we are done and I'm like at that point I had no choice but to confess what I was doing right because nothing else would make sense it's like either you pretend you're cheating on her or you come to the truth because well in her mind why the fuck is there high heels clicking in her house absolutely and she was like you know when I told her she was like you know are you serious you know she's like I don't even believe you you know you're like face time me oh yeah yeah oh yeah so and then we had like we have cameras around you know the house and those were all shut down because I was you know like outside even and she's like all the fucking cameras are off I know you have somebody there and I was like so it took some convincing but I did you know I then told her like no I was dressing and you know so that's what I got busted I'm sorry but your poor wife she's like this fucking bomb explodes in her life and she's not even home she's so far away from home on the vacation with her child oh my god that poor woman like what an idiot right yeah so and I was just like you know so at that point I was like you moron you know I'm like literally screwing up the best thing I have going for me with a wife that's just phenomenal and gives me everything that I want and I just want more right uh-huh so you know yeah so that was she she did catch me catch me that time so and you know that was kind of like it was it was a tough thing for us to get through you know she she wanted me to go to therapy and I did um you know my first therapist was a total disaster and the guy wanted me to like do an exorcism and all this crap oh my god let me just tell you I always say this I do believe that the great therapist can change your life and I believe so much in therapy and I love it but the problem is like any profession out there like 80 90 percent of people don't do their jobs properly and when a therapist doesn't do their jobs properly they're like fucking lunatics I've had lunatics I mean like seriously yeah totally Kathy and this guy was a complete and utter lunatic idiot and you know what is the priest yeah he wanted me to go to like church and like like I was possessed by the devil or something and I'm like and then I just told my wife I'm like this guy is insane I'm not doing this I will find my own so I found a really good therapist who specialized she only dealt with men who crossed rest oh perfect yeah and and I saw her for about a year and she really helped me to understand why I was doing what I was doing and you know tell people what she like what you came to understand because I think that'll be helpful for other people she just explained you know because I felt so much shame with wanting to do these things and you know she just explained like look this isn't your fault and your wife you know you can't change these thoughts like you're going to always have these thoughts you know it's about being open and honest with your wife and bringing her into this right so that that's what we did from that point on I was open and honest with my wife right and now did your wife ever go to that therapist and have talks with her so that the therapist could really explain it to her as well or would you just go home and explain stuff to her she no my wife never did that there therapy sessions at all so she would just but you educated her you educated yeah okay exactly yeah and did she come around to understanding she she did but didn't she just would prefer she's like look I'm fine with you wanting to wear you know pantyhose or stockings but I do not want you to full dress so and she was kind of like if you want to full dress you know just please be honest with me and ask me and you know I'll I'll decide then if I if I'm okay with it kind of thing but did you tell her what the therapist told you that this isn't going away that you should I did yeah but she didn't care she's like look I don't care I don't want you to do it and out of respect for me and for everything else that I give you you know I I want you to not do this so she didn't understand that it's a fetish and that like your therapist said it doesn't go away and it's not something that you cannot not do you didn't ever explain to her no she she didn't really you know come to accept that and and honestly I was okay with that you are you know yeah I think I I am I mean is there a part of me that still wants to dress hell yeah you know what I mean okay but you don't but you don't no I don't fully dress anymore you know I went through like the hole I would buy stuff and then throw it out buy stuff and throw it out and then I was like every time I was going to I would just you know think about my wife and I'm like look I already did it once I do not want to end my marriage over this you know I'm I'm okay with what I have okay the the nylons and stuff yep exactly and you still wear those whenever you want up next it's bread flan these new band oh my god I'm back again on that magazine oh everybody's spin gonna bring new games gonna show you now yeah new game party find new dropping hits every week find the new slots 18 plus be gambler wear total that's right point oh yeah totally she still wears for you in the bedroom she wears so that's the thing she actually wears like every time amazing yeah every time she wears and even like you know last time you know she was just kind of like hey I noticed you're not wearing anything yeah and I was like oh it's okay I'm not gonna wear anything today you know and she was like okay well if you want to you can so you know so she's really good so you know there's there's a part of me that just doesn't want to you know break that that trust that she's kind of given to me of course I get it let me ask you this the part of you that did like dressing up like does that part like still exist do you feel like you're like constantly trying to keep it at bay is it like you know do you feel like you can't manage it well yeah 100 yeah absolutely I I want to do it all the time no no do you feel like you can manage it and not do it it's challenging sometimes well I'll be honest where it is you know very challenging to do you know that if it ever does come to a place where you can't sort of keep it at bay that it's you should go to your wife regardless of what she's gonna fucking say and just tell her so that you don't get caught again you'd rather her know and be pissed off about it than not know and be so mad that you were devious you know what I'm saying like there's a double e bag if you thought you again she told you if you want to dress I will let you know then I don't want you to blah blah blah but you do know that if you cannot if you get to a point where you can't keep it at bay and you feel like dressing up just fucking ask her yeah you're right and you know I certainly will you know I'm kind of like I'm kind of just enjoying the fact that I'm you know able to to to wear you know when I want you know that's great yeah yeah it is and you know I'm I there's there's obviously times when I when I want more for sure so you know it's just having to control that you know you stop seeing that therapist you don't see the therapist anymore yeah therapy is pretty expensive I know yeah yeah I was like I think I can manage this on my own how long did all this happen how long did did which all her finding you cross dressing her telling you I don't want you to do it well I think that was three years ago okay and so for three years you've never dressed be honest well I mean I've I've worn I've worn things not fully dressed so you know like I'll wear like stockings and heels something like that at your office I won't yeah yeah you ever do it at home I have yeah oh my god so you're gonna get busted again I I know and yeah you're probably right but you know and it's kind of like the after part of me that's like I really enjoy the thought of being busted so I'm like oh my god almost like a self sabotage kind of thing you know I mean so honest and self aware of you I love that you said that because I wonder if I'm sure a lot of other guys can relate to that feeling that you just like oh my gosh yes like I've I've worn like you know some stockings where she's like on her way home from work or whatever and I'm like you know I'm like scrambling to get them off you know so I I do enjoy that yeah oh wow wow yeah so that naughty part of things has always been there for you yeah 100% yeah yeah absolutely well you just listen I mean you guys have been together since the dawn of time you've been through a lot you've gotten through all of it I'm sure if she caught you again she's not gonna leave you right like I don't know hopefully not she hasn't left you know yeah you know what I mean like she does know this about you right and listen if it comes up again where she finds out you need to like better educate her on the fetish she's the one that should go see that therapist you know there was a guy on my show let me look up his book Dr. Joe court and he wrote a book for women for women who are married to guys who like to cross dress and stuff like literally okay yeah and it's for the women to let them know like the guy is in it can be straight and like all you know I just think that your your girl you know needs to better understand you haven't explained it intensely with probably probably not no and you know then she it just seems like there's always like she always says like it's like an onion she just keeps peeling back these layers and there's more and more and she's like well when the fuck is this gonna stop kind of thing it stops when she fully understands it she doesn't fully understand it yet because you know and listen you can't fault her for that you haven't really come clean yourself you're the one like you got educated on it from you know your uh therapist but she hasn't been educated she doesn't understand that you have a fetish and this is not going to go away and that it's you know because she told you like you just can't do it like this has to be changed she's used words that just don't exist if she knew what you're you're actually thinking of look she wrote a book it's called is my husband gay straight or by a guy for women concerned about their men I think that is the one I have to look for the one about I'll have to check it out because she definitely had questions like are you gay kind of thing and I'm like of course so of course that's always the case and a lot of times like a cross dressers are like just really into cross-thing it's like their love of women you know I mean same with guys and hoes it's like their love of women's legs looking perfect in a pair of hoes you know do you feel attracted to men at all or are you totally straight so when I wear like if I wear like stockings and heels I I find and I'm like super like a man like I'm when I'm dressed in man clothes like you would never ever ever think right yeah and like but when I have that stuff on yeah my mind does kind of go to you know a place where I'm like oh man you know what I mean so but that's very common a lot of guys feel that way you know what I am but yeah totally but I don't think I could ever do it it's more like that naughty fantasy right right and it's just a fantasy and sometimes like fantasies don't need to be lived out you know what I mean maybe it wouldn't you wouldn't even enjoy it and you don't sound like the type that's gonna cheat and or anything and you sound like you have a good self-control considering you know how much you have been able to keep it all at bay because you do want to be honest with your wife though you do have a naughty side you're very interesting little concoction you're you know you don't it's like this sabotage thing I just feel like the next time you get caught because you probably well you need to maybe like have her read up maybe send her some podcast episodes of women talking about their husbands cross-dressing on my show you know like literally like get her to understand because you understand all of this because you're you you know every you know she can't get into your head she doesn't understand she's a regular person she doesn't know what the cross-dressing fetish is what these guys are into or anything you know and it doesn't sound like you communicate that well to her about it so I know yeah I think but I mean she's got the gist like it's like the hardest part is sort of over she knows everything basically but she doesn't understand everything fully I don't know why I can't just come out and just maybe you don't want to maybe it's that part of you that likes for her to be naughty maybe I don't know for sure and I think that's I think that's actually more of a big part of it that's actually like I'm just starting to understand is like you know her knowing that I'd like to dress in full clothing it wasn't as exciting as when I was kind of doing behind her back no I know that's really kind of fucked up yeah that's the problem you shouldn't be still in therapy talking to your therapist about it you know you wire listen you wired yourself into that right and sometimes when you have those wire rings they're just so powerful it started when you were really young stealing and doing it and being naughty you know what I mean so that kind of stuff is just equally as hard to break then whatever but you sound like a rational person in that like yeah maybe it wouldn't be as great but wouldn't it be better than blowing up your fucking marriage and you know like you know like I said I mean she does know everything she just doesn't really understand it and you know hopefully you could you know be five years from now that she finds out again but I like I said she knows listen she knows what she's going to be mad about if she finds out again is that you didn't tell her because she specifically said to you I know like let me know if you want to do this again but I don't want you to right yeah trust me I know and I you know I mean even this week I wanted to buy clothing and I was like nope don't do it you know what I mean so yeah yeah what you read this persist that's what's scary about your I know and it I just keep pushing you know it feels like I just pushed the tides back so I probably should be in therapy still but I'm not yeah you could go online and talk to other people sometimes that kind of stuff helps you know chat gpt people use chat gpt for therapy nowadays you know that yeah seriously yeah I had a caller who used it and bicky felt like it was better than any therapist he'd ever been you know you could talk you got to talk your stuff out a little bit because you don't want to make your wife upset again though how many years has it been well since what you last dressed that she caught you yeah it's been it's been over a year okay so yeah you don't want to like you know or and like I said I think if you really get to the urge where you call like you need to sit like try to have the conversation with her first yeah I really want to fully dress sorry this is not going away I think I have a cross-dressing fetish the more I don't do it the more I want to can I just like crush just like once a year like you know what I mean like to let it lose can I do it yeah like I don't want you to catch me if I feel like if I just do it once or twice a year it gets it out of my system but this is just the thing that I have like is that okay with you the worst thing she's going to say is no but the worst is if you do it and you don't tell her I know but I you know I just I got to you know figure out that whole like wanting to hide it thing and you know you mentioned the chat gpt I feel like I'd be like that one guy who was like using chat gpt to dominate him you know what I mean remember that guy he got chat to justify him and humiliate him exactly you know that would probably be me me and him would be on the same episode together or something right yeah don't use chat gpt for porn exactly you're turning in it no if you could use chat gpt as a therapist and just say hey I got the Spanish might explain the whole situation I bet you it could give you some you know good advice if you told them that exactly your issue but you know I know what your issue is and I think you know now that the urge is coming up strongly maybe you go to your wife and you say you know the urge is coming up for me to dress it's you know I feel like if you just allow me to do it once it gets it out of my system this is you know blah blah so keep me posted though if you get busted again and yeah of course good luck at everything and thanks so much for calling in if you want to send pictures for my patreon you don't have to you could send pictures of your half dress with stockings on you could send me pictures of your stash definitely have pictures on my fed account you want to give out your fed account no I don't I mean I don't I don't want to do that but okay no problem I yeah and I don't really know how to use patreon but I can kind of figure it out I guess okay well you'll get free access since you signed up since you called in and you're gonna get tons of free episodes there there's like there's a there's like probably a hundred exclusive episodes on there that aren't well I appreciate I appreciate everything you do awesome well I appreciate you calling in and sharing your story I think it had a many layers it was super interesting so thanks so much Nick we're calling in and good luck okay appreciate it Kathy thank you bye okay bye okay I just want to tell you before you go that I do have a book the book is called strictly anonymous confessions okay I just want to tell you before you go that my book it's called strictly anonymous confession secret sex lives of total strangers is now available not only in paperback and ebook but you can pre-order the audiobook it's still not going to be out till August 25th but you can pre-order it the book is basically 17 different stories taken from my show I kind of picked one story from each category that I talk about on my show like there's a hot wife story there's a cuck queen story there's a cuck story there's a gang bang girl story like I said 17 stories and they're all told in the third person and they're all true I took the interview and rewrote it in the third person and I wouldn't really call it like a total erotica book think like penthouse letters it's more direct it's not so over the top like erotica I don't really like that kind of vibe right but these are true stories 17 of them they're really short chapters easy read you could read you know one or two and then skip around you could read the whole book it's available in e-back format paperback format and finally the audiobook is available coming out August 25th but you could pre-order it now and if you buy my book in any format or pre-order it I will throw in a complementary link to my discord my discord does not disappoint okay there's no way you get into my discord any other way than getting the link from me okay I give it to people who buy my book there's tons of people in there everybody shares content with each other and that's what you get to do there you could post your own pictures and videos there's tons of channels we have lots of contests where you could win a lot of money it's a super fun place to be it's a total strictly anonymous community and you will love it I will be giving anyone who buys my book access to my discord it's private like I said all you got to do is email me a screenshot of your purchase whether you did the audiobook the e-book or the paperback send it to me at strictlyanonymouspodcast at gmail.com that's strictly anonymous podcast at gmail.com and I will send you the link to discord so anyway thanks so much for tuning in this is the strictly anonymous podcast secret sex lives of total strangers the book is basically 17 different stories taken from my show I kind of picked one story from each category that I talk about on my show like there's a hot wife story there's a cook queen story there's a cuckold story there's a gang bang girl story there's like you like I said 17 stories and they're all told in the third person right so I took the interview and I rewrote it and the third person I wouldn't call it like an erotica book though there's plenty of sex in there right but I didn't write it to sound like erotica because that's like the vibe of my show you're going to learn a lot you're probably going to get a little turned on it's a different way to hear these stories like I said because they're written out in third person there's an e-book available if you don't want your partner to know that you're reading my book get the e-book it's available if you buy my book in any format I will throw in a complimentary link to my discord my discord does not disappoint okay there's no way you'll get the discord and go in there and be like oh this sucks okay it's like pretty amazing there's tons of people on there and everybody shares content with each other that's what's great about discord you get to post your own videos and pictures and there's tons of channels and we have contests over there it's a super fun place to be I will be giving anyone that buys my book at any time access to my discord it is private this is the only way you could get in is through me giving you the link and that's why I think my discord is so great because I have vetted people it's not like it's just open to the public so everybody that's in there people that listen to my show and people that listen to my show are fucking great so my discord is fucking great my book is great you're gonna love it if you buy it all you gotta do is send me the receipt or a picture of proof that you bought it and I will give you free access to my discord send it to strictlyanonymouspodcast.gmail.com you can find my book in the link in the description okay or just google it strictly anonymous confessions secret sex lives of total strangers you can find it anywhere you buy books send me the picture and I'll give you access to my discord email strictly anonymous podcast at gmail.com anyway thanks so much for listening