Financial Audit's Most Abusive Husband

To watch episodes of Financial Audit a week earlier, check us out on YouTube. You blame me for everything you've done wrong. Like what? You just like to hide behind me being domineering as the ultimate excuse of you can't do anything wrong. You can hide behind me and say that's why you don't talk to your family, when in reality you don't talk to them because you set that boundary. I don't talk to them because my mother quite literally said she wants nothing to do with me as long as you're in my life. And that's a choice you made. Get out for a second. I want to talk to her alone. Are you afraid of what's going to happen afterwards? A little bit, not going to lie. He will push me, he will shove me. There was one fight in particular that got very intense and he... Something big is coming. Something that's going to change personal finance forever. And the first 500 metalbers get to lead the charge. Go to DollarWise.com to change the future. Hi, this is Brittany. I'm 23 years old. Hey, I'm Billy. I'm 24. We're from Buffalo, New York. And this is Financial Audit. Got some buffaloes from Buffalo. Welcome down, guys. Happy to have you. Brittany, you're the one in front of me. Let's start with you. Okay. What do you do for a living? I'm currently unemployed. That doesn't bring in much, I'll be honest, typically. I have a temporary start date as February 9th. Oh, okay. That's a few days from now. Go on. To become a funeral director resident in New York. How's the funeral people that come on the show? I guess people be dying. What are you going to be making? It's allegedly going to be 19 an hour. Allegedly. What is allegedly? You're starting there in a couple days. How is it allegedly? What is allegedly? You're afraid of a lawsuit? What is allegedly? They might change it. They might change it when you've already accepted the job? They might change it? The higher or lower? I don't know. Do you actually not know? I've seen the offer letter. It's 19, but she's afraid of it. Yes. Did you sign it in your employment? Yeah. Sometimes that's on the start date. Well, I'm just not sure I'll be able to start on the 9th because there's some processing that needs to happen. So I'm not sure if it will. Of dead bodies or of you? Of the paperwork. Okay. So, okay, 19 an hour. What do you do, Billy? Because I hope you make some money. Listen, I actually don't know the cost of living in Buffalo. I know New York is higher, but Buffalo is really out there. Yeah, it's pretty similar to here. So I'm a software engineer. I make $85,000 a year. Oh, yeah, you do. What hits your account per paycheck? I assume this is why you've been allowed to be unemployed. Yeah. How long have you been unemployed? I think I quit my previous job back in late September. Okay, curious why. But what hits your account? $2,600 biweekly. Yeah, you look like a software engineer, don't you? Yeah. Yeah, I looked in the mirror and decided, yeah, okay, I'll be a software engineer. Nothing gets women wetter than that. Am I right, girl? Yeah. I'm creaming right now. Okay, $5,200 a month. That's not bad. And then with you, 19 an hour, what do we think that's going to hit? 1940 hours a week? Yes. Minimum, yes. they suspect some over time. Does he have the answer for you? Do you know things? Sometimes. Not really. In general. Wow. You don't. You just don't care enough to know things. I know some things. Besides dinosaurs? What do you know? I don't know who the f*** are you talking to right now. Who are you talking to like that? Well, if you knew, we probably wouldn't be here. Is this how they behave in Buffalo? Okay. Yes. Let's go, Chief! Let's go, Chief! Ah! Ah! Okay. Well, so is that true? Do you just not care? No, I do care. Well, he has had to step in and answer for you. Like, if you don't actually know your wage, I'm concerned that maybe you don't. No, it is 19, but like I said, I'm not sure if it will stay 19 if I have to redo the paperwork. That doesn't really make sense to me. I'll be honest. But okay, let's get your $40,000 a year before any taxes. I'm going to assume in your account. I don't know. New York has a little bit of an income tax, but it's not much for your income level. Actually, are we married? Yes. Oh, so we'll be joint, I assume. Yes. I bet you're going to get $2,500 a month. Do we have any kids? No. Okay. Okay. So we're dynamic out of the gate, I'll be honest. I'll be honest. What the fuck is going on here? What are we talking about? So we've basically taken turns of who has a job for the past couple years. Oh, you're the one that actually makes money. You don't really make money to be able to go on. So it wasn't really willingly at first. So I started at a lower wage, like eight or 17, and then I got bumped up to 19 an hour. Then I moved halfway across the state for a different job, and her home life was rough, so she just moved in with me immediately. Yeah, I've heard about that, by the way. I typically go in blind, but I got a little bit of information about you. I hear you're a bit of a problem, but go on. Yeah, so we ultimately – so she moved in within weeks of us getting together, and we got engaged immediately. and our finances were joint since then. She was still in college when we got together and she never really had to work until she was done with college because I just didn't make her. What's your degree? Make her? Yeah. Make her? This is lining up with everything I've heard before, by the way. Make her? What is make her? What the f*** do you mean make her? Well, so she's never, like, she's had to work in the past but not well in college. So I just let her not. Let her not? So now you're, what is it, let her make? Well. First of all, I know you guys applied because you said you need to, she needs to learn how to budget. Yeah. All the debt is you. Yeah. And not only that, again, usually I really do go on blind, but I think I just, I had a little, I wanted to read this morning. Take a little look. dude she her mom literally held her wedding dress to prevent her from getting married to you you're an issue you're a problem something's up well the thing is so her mother is very much a narcissist and she thinks i'm your mother's fault not you the problem who says she needs the budget at all the debt is literally yours and not hers at all whatsoever and you're deciding whether or to let her work or make her work. Yeah, she didn't have debt before me, but she didn't have a degree either. I also didn't have collections before you. And you didn't have a job either. I had a job before you. You didn't when we got together. You didn't when you moved in. You didn't until well after graduating. You didn't have a driver's license either. I helped teach you to drive. I got you a car. So what are you, my savior? Maybe. Well, that's an interesting perspective to put you at. It's almost like you kind of want to throw out buzzwords. I'm not in that part of the internet. I'm not one of those virtue signaling freaks. But, I mean, the mom said you'd murder her. You kind of locked her in, didn't let her work, engaged her immediately, separated her from her family. It's a little groom-esque. She could have worked if she wanted. I wouldn't have prevented her from. Really? So force her, let her, and now walking that back third time being like you wouldn't prevent her. It's not really the language you use. And your mom was literally afraid. Her mom was literally afraid that you might murder her. That's not even an exaggeration. Literally was afraid. That's not narcissism. Narcissists aren't afraid of murder. It kind of groomed her. We were both young enough. Like, it's not like there's not a big age gap where I could have groomed her. It's not necessarily the age gap thing. I mean the more literal definition, which typically, yes, is more for someone that is a minor. but separating from the family, not letting it work, using your own language on that, by the way. I know you've walked that back now. Really controlling the finances, moving in immediately, immediately engaged. It's a little, not to go full, internet creepy and weird. Yeah, I mean, it was all her choice. She could have walked away at any time. I couldn't have. He controlled the finances. I didn't know what the bank accounts looked like and he got mad at me every time I looked. And you just didn't ask. I asked. Bro, that literally just contradicted everything. What the f***? Okay, I was not expecting that. I'll be honest. Okay, taking me for a little bit of a turn there. Fully controlling the finances. But she said she asked. You say she didn't ask. She could have left. She said she couldn't. What the f***? What? so she would only try to bring the conversations up very late at night in bed when i have to get up and go to work in like six hours and only only ever ask about it at like 2 a.m and that's when i would be mad it's not that we were i was mad about talking about the finances the next day yeah and i did and you bring it up the next day i would and then she would say it's it's fine it's we just won't talk about it ever seen your entire life sold like a grocery see this little horror novel is everything a data broker collected about me and probably you as well. My phone number, income, credit score range, how many bedrooms I have, how likely I am to move, which is great because now they can sell my info to movers and mortgage companies. Efficient, but they don't expect you to do anything about it. That's the entire business model because let's be honest, you're not going to stop using the weather app or maps or click through 14 pages of terms and conditions just to say nope. And they know that. So yeah, they're basically taunting you, but that's why I use Aura. Aura is today's sponsor and they actually do something about this mess. Aura scans data broker sites, finds where your info is being sold, sends takedown requests, and follows up until your data stays gone. Most services quit after one email, and Aura keeps protecting you. So try Aura for free for 14 days at aura.com slash hammer. That's more than enough time for Aura to start deleting your digital paper trail. Now, let's get back to the show, hopefully with fewer strangers knowing your home value. Brittany? It would never line up when we wanted to talk about it. I asked about it. I would open up whatever app and look and see what balances are and what's owed. If you can do that, you don't need me to talk about it. If you can see the balances, we don't need to talk about it. I couldn't see everything. You hid things from me. I didn't hide shit from you. You have all the logins. Not all of them. I use the same password and username for everything, and you know what that is. Okay. I mean, I'm talking about out of the gate, too, the weird separation from family. She literally doesn't talk to her mother now because of you specifically because of you you've basically cut that contact cut that relationship you cut her off from the world that's red flags galore dude yeah and again i do not throw things out lightly because people throw around these buzzwords like crazy but i'm just going off the information and i know it got weird here man you borderline stalked her when you Sorry, you had a girlfriend. Again, I did a little bit of reading. You had a girlfriend. Immediately threw her out, downloaded and paid for all the premium versions of the app to try to go re-find her again. And did everything in your world to find her. And then the moment you did, moved in, locked her away from her family. Stalking and separating, controlling the finances, not being willing to talk. Yeah. Well, the relationship I was in at the time when she originally found me was a long-distance relationship where we were on and off again. I don't think that has anything to do with what I just said. It's how you went about it, finding her and locking her away in the castle. I didn't lock her away. Again, she could have walked away at any time. Yeah, but you know she was not in a financial position to do so, which is concerning. It is concerning when we see a woman in that situation, specifically. Not that you're weaker as a gender. I don't know. But it is a bit weird because men do tend to take a more domineering presence in a traditional relationship. And if you're taking over the finances, no, if she wanted to leave, she actually really couldn't. She wouldn't have a dime to her name. Especially if you wouldn't let her work, discouraged work, and then you started to think about forcing her work. It's odd, man. It's odd. Yeah. Yeah. So I know it looks bad, but it's just it's really not. I it looks bad. You literally. OK, didn't say this yet. Made her forced her to quit her job, which would give her some sense of financial independence if she needed to leave. You forced her to quit her job. What job was it? My previous job was I was a collections agent at a bank. And you forced her to quit. Yeah. She was a going to be fired anyways. And B. Why? How can you say that? So her department was not doing well whatsoever, and they were saying we're going to cut the department entirely. So – and she already – So let her get fired and get some severance if that's a potential option. Also she – Also laid off, not fired. She was also miserable every night at that job because – So here's the white knight separating her from the reality of the world and any kind of financial independence she might have. Hero. She was miserable every day and was working on studying to take the exams to become the funeral directing resident. There's exams you have to take that she was studying for. And if you fail it, you have to spend like another $600 to retake it. So I told her, well, just quit and study full time for a month or two, then take it. And then you can still be in that role come the start of the new year. That's pretty. This is a lot of shit stacking up That looks f***ing off to me I I don't know You don't know? What all do you think? Are you afraid to speak on what you think? I do feel like I should have stayed You should have stayed at home? Better job No I should have stayed at my job Because I feel like I knew you were going to, like, you know, use it against me. I haven't used it against you yet. We've fought over it before. Yeah, we've fought over it before, but that's not me using it against you. It's just, yeah, we just haven't had that much money. And, okay, your haircut. You want to go to that argument here? Sure. so she goes year in the entire time we've been together she has gotten exactly one haircut and the only time she's ever mentioned it was so the only haircut you've gotten was a couple months before the wedding and that was um 23 so or october of 23 so she hasn't asked since then for any kind of hairstyling, whatever, whatsoever. But then a week after quitting her job, she's like, hey, I want to go get my hair styled. And it's like, well, OK, sure, you can. But you couldn't have maybe done this a week or two ago when we had the additional income. It would have been like $20. But then when I asked you again about it a couple of weeks ago and tell you, dude, seriously, it's fine. We'll work with it. It's whatever. Just go get it cut. You're saying, well, no, it's going to be like two or three hundred. I don't remember saying that. Of course you don't. It wouldn't be $200 or $300. It would be, like, at most, like, maybe $40. And I've been telling you to go for weeks, but because the one time I said, hey, I'd prefer if you had done it when we had the extra income, I'm the asshole. Yes, because... If you're going to spend $50 on something, would you rather have an extra amount of money to do it or not have the extra amount of money to do it? I would say always rather have the extra money to do it. It shouldn't matter. It really doesn't matter. And that's why I ultimately said just do it. I would prefer to have the extra income when you had done it or when you will do it. But it's really not the end of the world. No, I will do it when I have my own income because it's caused such a fight before. The only reason it's causing a fight is because of you. I've said to just go and get it cut so many times now. I don't understand why it caused the fight in the first place. If you're willing to spend $40 on McDonald's. I didn't even want to say that shit in the first place. All I said is, okay, and you then argued, well, what's wrong? And it took you asking seven times before I said, ultimately, I would have preferred if you had done it when we had the income. But it is what it is. But because you dragged it out, yeah, I did say it. I always have to drag things out of you. Yeah, because any conversation we try to have is a fight. Yeah, because you don't tell me what's wrong. Because you don't ask. You wait until shit gets to the boiling point and then ask. No, I do ask. When? I have to ask so many times before you say what's wrong. Yeah, because most of the time it is bullshit that doesn't matter. It's, oh, my sock has a hole in it. That doesn't need to be a massive thing. And at a certain point, the thing that's wrong is you continuously asking what's wrong. So to be clear, one, you're shaking. I don't know if it's the diabetes or rage. Two, listen. Complaining about her getting a haircut like twice in three years and needing socks that don't have holes in it when literally all the debt is you. Not one is on her. Some of it is. Maybe some of the stuff you financed and let it go to collections. I know that some debts are under her name that you forced her to open. She's got student loans, and the car was a joint decision, which we'll get to when we get there. Joint. Is anything joint here? You steamroll her. You lay on her. She just doesn't say shit. And then when she does, she just doesn't stay on it. I honestly don't think in the end you give a shit about her. Phone call last night. She's going into the whole big story about how she was in the ICU and almost died. Very tragic. Very sad. There was a little bit of a pause right after she said that. And then you come and you chime in. But did you die, though? Yeah, well, every single time anything happens, it's just, well, I almost died last year. I'm like, yeah, sure, that is sympathetic, but you didn't. And yeah, sure, you're saying, oh, this is going to come for you in the long term, that it's diabetes catching up to you, and you're worried that you don't want to do certain things because you think it's going to come for you. But yeah, it did almost come for you yesterday. And you're right, you did almost die last year because of it. but ultimately you didn't and now you're taking care of it so that doesn't happen again. So like, yeah, it did happen and yeah, you did almost die, but ultimately you are now doing the steps to prevent that and you are now taking care of yourself in a way where that won't happen again. That's not necessarily true. You have a constant glucose monitor on your arm. You check your blood sugars constantly. you take insulin, it will not happen again. Before, you just ate whatever, didn't take insulin, and just didn't give a shit. So yeah, ultimately, it's going to happen eventually. You have tits bigger than my head. What are you talking about? Are you telling me you do not have diabetes? He's not diabetic. Yet. Yet, dude. You're 24. I'm assuming type 2. I actually have no idea. Shouldn't you find that out? um i probably should but her mother never had her tested oh okay but you have been an adult for like seven years now i know he won't let you out of the house so i understand that now pisses me off people sitting around with 25 000 in credit card debt making minimum payments thinking they're fine but you're not you're getting crushed by compounding debt every single month every fee and point of interest working against you while you're over here budgeting your groceries down to the last penny. And here's the truth. That balance isn't going anywhere with minimum monthly payments. 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A-plus rated by the Better Business Bureau. Thousands of five-star reviews on Google. five-star rating on Trustpilot, that doesn't just happen by accident. You are just 30 seconds away from being debt-free with PDS Debt. Get your free assessment and find the best option for you right now at pdsdebt.com slash hammer. That is pdsdebt.com slash hammer. There must be a severe lack of independence. Why wouldn't you go get tested? Because I wouldn't doubt that it actually would be his never-ending influence over you, the shadow he casts on your entire life, for what it's worth. I just, I guess I didn't care enough. Why don't you care? Why don't you care? Because this guy right here is fully controlling you. I wouldn't be surprised. And f*** you for this. But I wouldn't be surprised. If you just didn't care as much about life right now because you're just not happy. I mean two haircuts in a few years? What the f*** are we doing? She can't look like a woman? She can't feel beautiful? She can't do what she wants to be happy? I'm not saying treating ourselves Manning's and Petty's five seconds of every day, you know, all the time. No, but two haircuts in two years not wanting socks with holes in them when you're making nearly six figures. What the are we talking about? I would assume maybe she's not that happy. Would you not? No, I wouldn't be. But if I wanted a haircut I would mention it more often than just a single time a week after quitting my job Why is that the biggest thing in the world But listen when people quit their job which by the way you forced her to quit her job She wishes she stayed there She is saying that now But so that kind of comes with like the feeling of a layoff anyway. If you were convincing her, she was about to get laid off. People get in depressive episodes when they get laid off, even quit, they lose something. Maybe she wanted to look good for job interviews, for feeling better. She wanted to inflate herself. And you are obviously the breadwinner in a lot of ways. And that traps her to be clear. But either way, I could see is it the best time to get a haircut logically no emotionally you can understand it though yeah and you said 20 bucks 20 bucks i know for a fact looking through everything you prioritize every single day 20 minimum of take out over her needs and her wants and her desire and any kind of potential future together 20 bucks for a haircut for you that's what you're hung up on you're freaking out about 20 bucks for a haircut a few years ago what is wrong with you And that's why I told her to just get it cut. Yeah, after you guys fought about it and literally just re-thought about it. It somehow lingers on you. I don't even know how it's possible. Sorry, I need a moment to figure out how I'm going to phrase this. Oh, you take your time. Yeah, be careful with your words. so she likes to just ignore things until it is such a massive thing to go back and correct them really yeah really really yeah what about your weight i don't think there is correcting it at any point yeah not at this point i don't think there was at any point we live in the world of ozempic yeah um i can't it's the easiest i can't i can't And what about the pill form? No, I can't do either. I think you can consume less calories than you. That one, yeah. But my mother had thyroid cancer, and it runs in the family, and those tend to trigger that. Eat less. Eat cleaner. Yeah, and I was. What do you mean you can't lose weight? What is this? No, I can't do the exempt. You're morbidly obese. You're not just like, you're obese, but you're morbidly obese. Yeah. I'm obese. You're morbidly obese. Yeah, I was doing well for the first half of last year losing weight. And then I just immediately fell off once I got laid off. I got laid off. Yeah. For how long? I was laid off from May until the end of July. Now, why the fuck are you guys even considering having kids? Because I know this is a huge disagreement you guys have. Having kids? What the fuck are we talking about? Is it one of those? And please tell me, he really wants kids? It's grounds for divorce if we don't. From whose angle? From mine. Because going into this, she said, yeah, I want kids. If she didn't want kids from the start, I wouldn't be in the position of like, oh, this is a serious issue. If she had just up front been like, I seriously don't want kids and it's not a possibility, we just wouldn't have gotten together. Because that is one of those bigger things that couples just can't just, it's a major life decision. And yeah, if you now don't want kids, that is you fundamentally just lying about who you are as a person. It is just such blatant false advertising. Because I'm not allowed to change my mind. You can change your mind. Wear a different shirt, wear different shoes, whatever. But changing your mind about a major thing like that years later? Yeah, but you've also said that we could consider adoption, something like that. Yeah, and you've said you don't even want to do that. You guys even have kids? No, we don't have kids. No, can you? Oh, yeah, probably. Buddy, I'm looking at you. There is a very, very high statistical chance your nut does not carry enough sperm. Yeah. Yeah. You could probably raw dog right now. How often do you guys f***? I don't know. How often do we? Not often. Yeah, and I'm sure you wish it was even less. but yeah I don't think if that shit was raw dogged anything would result in anything anyway yeah probably not she blames me for her birth control what? I do no no no just tell me what the f*** is going on go on please tell me you didn't research all the different types you went with the stick because it's the safest lowest maintenance whatever and then when you had side effects tried blaming me for them without researching the side effects heavily first. Sorry, I don't know if we can we go into abortion? You can go into whatever you want to go into. This is up to you. Yeah, that's that's part of the reason why. It's actually a big reason why I went with birth control. He made you have an abortion? No, he said that if if I ended up pregnant, we were keeping it. Well, yeah, that's what birth control is for. uh but also condoms and yeah more and the biggest thing is i if if we if she gets pregnant i want to keep the kid because i want to have kids even if it comes at an inopportune time if if i don't if i'm not ready for it i i don't want to have it and you've said that if i if i have an abortion that's also grounds for divorce yeah because it's just it is a yeah it's ultimately your body your choice whatever but it's not like it's also my kid too yeah but i'm not gonna push out a kid if i'm not ready for it that's the thing nobody ever thinks they're ready for it nobody is ever fully ready for it okay let me correct myself i don't want to have kids if we're in thousands of debt we're always going to be thousands in debt yeah because of you okay i didn't have debt for you i mean that seems relatively fair and the debt that she does have in her name is that you forced upon her made her open up on her own besides the joint car. Also student loans. So I think that is kind of fair. Okay, but student loans are such a low interest, high protection debt that usually has a good return on investment compared to the rest of the bullshit. Yeah. So how does communication even work in this house? It doesn't. It doesn't. Yeah, I'm getting that. I feel like you're a domineering force and I feel like you should not be there, but you don't really make money as it would be kind of unfortunately impossible. could get you connected with resources. We'll see. We'll send those to you separately. But the thing is, maybe just say you don't want to have kids. It's kind of a get-out-of-jail-free card. Grooming over. I'd like to stay with him if I can. Like, I'm not trying to be mean. Are you dumb? I think she's dumb. I think she's dumb. I think she's dumb. Why? After all this, why? After all that, why possibly? Because you don't know what anything else looks like at this point? Well, he does have a point. He did help me get through college, get my driver's license. Help, though? I mean, that's just you. That's very basic stuff. That should not be gold stars for him. That does not make up for him prioritizing yelling at you, literally yelling at you for a $20 haircut, literally not getting new socks with holes in them, literally prioritizing $20, $30, $40 to take out every single day over you just having any semblance of normalcy. cutting off your relationship with your mother moving you in early you know uh forcing you to do all these different things including to have kids even if you don't want to which i mean i do understand that that would be maybe a little upsetting if you guys agreed upon that i can see that but someone's allowed to change their mind and their marriages are also allowed to end but the thing is with the guilt trip he would probably use over you it would likely be oh you're gonna have a kid even if you don't want to if i'm being completely honest because i have a feeling this guy always gets his way in the end and you kind of just go along with it because you're stuck there and you've known nothing else besides this in your adulthood and you're cut off from your resources you really are this is i'm reading this from an outside perspective no one will ever know what truly goes on in the household more than you guys that is true but after all that really that's what you want to have kids with after everything I just said yeah he did help me a lot I just think he went about it in a way too domineering way what's the health of driver's license that's not a gold star that doesn't make up for all that shit you're giving him credit that is very basic hearing you say that is actually quite sad it is quite sad to hear because you shouldn't be thinking like that like he doesn't that is an excuse and it's very basic that shouldn't even be congratulatory It really should have. The fact that it is means that there's absolutely nothing. I do think it's also a little bit of sunken cost fallacy. Oh, sure. I mean, how many years have we spent on each other now? Four. It is hard to see that just go away. It is hard to see that entering our second half of the 20s. And it's just like, well, I spent all this time. What am I doing? I get that. I feel like, yeah, I might be bad, but I know her mother's worse. What the are we talking about? It doesn't even matter. Maybe her mother is a bad person. That doesn't mean you get to be bad. That does not excuse that in any way whatsoever. What the kind of cope is that? That's some bullshit right there. Never going to accept that kind of answer. The you talking about? So the conversations, they don't go well. Obviously, you stream roll steamroll. But what are some financial conversations that actually happen in this household? Disagreements, things. I want to understand a baseline of what's happening. so we just don't really budget whatsoever um we don't come to agreements we yeah when you applied and you talked yesterday you said she needs to learn how to budget one in fact all this is your issue so now you're saying we good look yeah well there is no budget whatsoever we just we do we get groceries we don't cook them because she usually wants something else it's take out every day dude The takeout isn't usually my idea. Oh, really? Really. Is this true? I do feel like you will put it in my head that you want to do takeout. And then it's ultimately me who says yes or no. Yeah, I seed every idea in your head. You've never had anything bad in your mind whatsoever. Everything you've done wrong has ultimately come from me. Right? No. Going back to old reliable? I think that's what you do with the takeout. Old and reliable, what? Yeah, what do you mean by that? You blame me for everything you've done wrong. Like what? You just like to hide behind me being domineering as the ultimate excuse of you can't do anything wrong. You can hide behind me and say that's why you don't talk to your family, when in reality you don't talk to them because you set that boundary. I don't talk to them because my mother quite literally said she wants nothing to do with me as long as you're in my life. And that's a choice you made. I didn't tell you to do that. She gave you the ultimatum. And you're also the reason I don't talk to my brother. Or my nephews. Why don't you talk to them? Because issues with the wedding. And what were the issues? Just people didn't want to cooperate. And why didn't they want to cooperate? Because you were, I don't even know what to call it. you were in charge of every single decision with the wedding. I couldn't even have my grandparents there because you didn't want them there. You said you didn't want them there. I changed my mind. I guess. You changed your mind after we gave the venue the full guest list. No, I didn't. You also said that you were going to invite them just because it would appease your mother and you didn't want to argue with her. That wouldn't have been the only reason I had them there. Well, that's not what you said. Oh, guys. Oh, what the... What the... Can I ask for what a financial conversation is like? And it devolves into that? What the... I don't even remember your answer for what does a financial conversation look like. I don't even remember. What was the answer? Oh, takeout. So you say, okay, you say it's her idea, but she said that you start planting the idea. Listen, I also know from my little read you read you before that every time she doesn't want to do something you like, you just endlessly accuse her of pushing the goalposts and everything. She's not allowed to have any ground to stand on. She can. She just chooses not to stand on that ground. I want her to push back in conversations. Right now, I want her to be arguing. I want her to talk more. But she just won't. So, yeah, it leads to me being domineering. Are you afraid of what's going to happen afterwards? A little bit, not going to lie. Okay. Okay. I don't like that. What? Tell me. You're just so controlling. In what way? What do you mean? The finances. Our accounts are in our joint name. You have access to them. You can log in on your phone right now, open a bank account somewhere else, transfer all the money to it. with your new job, I've said, hey, let's do different accounts for each other. You can keep a large chunk of your money separate. I'll keep my chunk separate. You will divide the bills. You've gone back and forth on that so much. Yeah, because I want you to have an out if you want one. I don't want to be accused of you being with me just because of a dollar. And then I'm an asshole if I have a way out. No, I want you to have a way out. If you want a way out, I want you to take it. You said originally that if we had separate accounts that you were going to divorce me. Everything leads to divorce with you. Everything's ground for divorce. Manipulator. Grooming manipulator. Get out for a second. I want to talk to her alone. Get the fuck out for a second. Okay? I don't like you right now. Leave. We'll take you to a different room. Yeah, waddle your way away. Bye-bye. Bye-bye. Bye-bye. Bye-bye. Are you okay? What the fuck is this household? Listen, I know. This is on camera right now, so of course he could see this and probably will. But the fact that, okay, we will talk off camera afterwards to be very clear, along with you in private, my production staff. But while we are here, are you okay? Do you feel safe? What the fuck is going on, dude? This is insane. This is not. Listen, I knew he was a problem. Um, when I was reading shit before and, you know, got some information, but I didn't think it was to this extent hearing the actual language and disagreements and the way he's just endlessly throwing you under the bus and like you're, you, I'm happy you're at least saying you are a little nervous afterwards, but are you okay? Yeah. Are you safe? Generally, yes. Generally, yes. That is not the answer someone wants to hear. What is generally yes? Uh, we do have fights. They get pretty intense. Tell me. Um. There have been a couple times where he's physically threatened me. He will push me. He will shove me. There was one fight in particular that got very intense, and he grabbed, like, the collar of my shirt and yanked me back, and it choked me. We did not know this, did we? Okay. Okay, this is going a different direction. First of all, I'm going to let you know that is beyond unacceptable. That is disgusting, unacceptable, and there's really not words to describe it. And listen. Oh, fuck. Okay. Afterwards, in private, we would like your private communication. Also, I know he's watching this. Fuck you, by the way. That's the unacceptance. No, that doesn't happen. That doesn't happen in love. It doesn't happen in passion. Listen, a little scream here and there between two spouses, big passions. Okay. Physical, choking, collars, grabbing, pushing, that doesn't happen. Stopping someone from relieving, that doesn't happen. That's not love. That's not love, and that is not how a man should treat his wife. It's not how a wife should treat his man either, but to be very clear, There is, you know, genetic and biological things that he is likely to be stronger. And he is in that position of power. And that is unacceptable. And I'm sorry. So what we're going to do off camera, and again, I know you're seeing this. Go yourself. We will get you contact information, especially for any kind of local group we can find, but certainly national. I need to be very clear. next time that happens. A couple options. Definitely call those numbers, those resources we provide. I would say Texas is like, I want to make sure that what is happening has an instant response. You know, so it's like, you know, definitely feel free to keep us updated. We'll try our best. Lindsay's going to give you her personal phone number, she just said. Because, I mean, I don't think you realize just how that actually is. I really don't. You've been trapped inside of this. I've been looking past it. Yes. Well, you have, you've been cut off from your outside world. It's terrifying. But 911 police report, that is violence. I know that sounds extreme. And in that moment, you're like, oh, I do love him. And you can love him. You can love someone and it'd be a bad person and bad relationship and bad things at the same time. They don't have to be mutually exclusive. They really do not. Yeah. Yeah, violence escalates in domestic abusive relationships. And the fact that that has already shown signs in just a few years, and we're talking potential decades left, and he manipulates, he knows you love him. He knows you don't have anywhere to go. You have no money. He gets you to leave jobs and he cut off all your relationships. He knows that you can't leave. Raise your hand if you've been meeting the book of doctor's appointment for, I don't know, the past year. Yeah, mine is up too. I used to doom scroll symptoms at 2 a.m. Self-diagnose with whatever WebMD threw at me and say, it's probably fine. And then continue ignoring it. Classic. But this year, we're doing better with today's sponsor, ZocDoc. ZocDoc is a free app and website that helps you find and book high quality in-network doctors so you can find someone you love. They've got over 150,000 providers across all 50 states and more than 200 specialties. Dermatology, dentistry, primary care, even eye care. You can search by symptom, filter by your insurance, check out real patient reviews. Maybe they hate small talk just as much as you. And then you just book. You literally see their real-time availability and click to book. No phone tag, no 90s hold music, just done. And most appointments happen within 24 to 72 hours, some even same day, in-person or video visit. It's your call. I use it, and honestly, you should too. So stop putting it off and go to ZocDoc.com slash Caleb to book a doctor you love today. That is Z-O-C-D-O-C dot com slash Caleb. Thanks ZocDoc for sponsoring this message. Let's get back to the episode. That's kind of stupid, I'll be honest. But what's not is actually getting a checking account that gives you free money. Free money. We like free money. You can get up to $350 in bonus cash right now. When you sign up for the checking account that I use, Chime. Also, it makes your savings grow at a 3.5 APY interest rate. Guys, you can watch Financial Audit and get free money at the same time. Who would have thought? That's incredible. Check it out. Link in the description below. Sign up for time. Get that $350 right now in your checking account. So he threatens the divorce. And it's terrifying. It's manipulative. It's disgusting. I don't exactly have anywhere else to go. Exactly. So we're going to try to get you set up with resources so you do have a place to go. but also the police is okay to call in those moments it really is i mean for what it's worth i'm not saying this is necessarily something i encourage but we had a member's audit and their situation had domestic abuses from the wife to the man and that was a couple years ago when she actually faced uh punishments because he called the police and she ended up getting mental health and she dramatically improved her life and they are able to reunite and now they actually have a good life. So there is a better future, potentially. I don't want you to just grab onto that and go through a world of shit just for that. But I'm just saying maybe help can be provided. I will set him up with a therapist. Maybe he needs to control his anger. But just because you call the police doesn't mean it's the end of the world. That's what I'm trying to say with that because she faced her consequences and he was safe and their kids were safe and they were able to come back together. What's your friend's situation like in your areas near you? Because I know your family's situation is a bit strange. You said friends? Yeah. I don't really have any. Yeah, okay. Why? I have one. I just don't talk to people. Okay. Is that a you thing? Is it kind of what's been encouraged? It's more so me. I just don't talk to people. Okay, listen. So again, we are going to do that. I am going to bring him in. I am going to get him. So I'm going to treat this as hopeful optimism, but prepare for the worst. Okay? Prepare for the worst with sending him to therapy, deal with his shit. And you, you know, we're going to get you resources. Hoping for the better that he gets his shit under control. If you guys actually do love each other and want a future, we will do the financial audit as normal. Okay? Because I know that's what you guys came here for, and I'm going to deliver what we have promised. But this is a bit fucked up, and I need you to know that. I'm okay. Okay, we're going to bring him in. We're going to bring him back in. Okay, welcome back. I feel so welcome. Have a seat. Don't break it. Pull in the mic. Listen, why do I have a note That you told Lindsay That you're annoyed she's going to start working again And you're going to be bitter once she starts working again Why do I have that note? What the f*** is that? So when she starts working again What, she's going to be able to have any kind of independence? She might be able to leave if she desires? No, she's going to be constantly complaining That I make more than her And I don't have a degree And she does And I'm sick of hearing it Yeah, he doesn't have a degree He didn't go to college for what he works in. I don't think we should be bitter about that. I feel like I worked so much harder for my profession Okay I mean this is the first time I going to take his side for what it worth because I just want to be objective on each subject matter as a whole and not take into account the entire conversation because I'm kind of anti-you right now, I'll be honest. But, I mean, that's fine. You can get a certification to make more. You can go through trade school and make more. I mean, people go get doctorates in art history and they're going to make less. Like, it doesn't matter the amount of time and hard work and different careers. has different demands and the market pays what it pays. He's also in a career software engineer where it's had the second highest layoffs this year so far. So it's, or last year, federal government being number one. But like it's not roses in perfection. It's also an $80,000, a lot of software engineers, especially in New York, make 100,000 plus. Yeah, I don't agree with that. I will never agree with the path you took. Then take it yourself. if what I do is so easy, do it. I already have my degree. Okay. I did the two-year program. I have my degree. Funeral directing. Well, again, so you're just getting the demand that kind of comes with that. You're getting the pay that you signed up for the degree that you knew the pay. I mean, that's fair. He knew the pay for his role as well. That's why I did it. How did you go from 19 an hour to 80K? Because he's a software engineer. Yeah. What do you do besides sit at a computer all day? I type on a computer. It doesn't matter. It's what the market demands. It literally doesn't matter. It doesn't matter. What the market demands is what the market demands. We don't live in communism. I don't agree with that. Is it jealousy? A little bit. Okay. I went to college for two years. I did the classes for two years. Yeah, but you knew the pay, though, when you went into it, right? so you're choosing to pursue that path but you knew the pay I just I still think that I should not always make less than you I will always make less than you not again not necessarily if you the high end for a funeral director is probably on the higher end of what I can make as a salaried software engineer because if she were to ultimately open her own funeral home after years It's a whole business, though, with loans and all this shit. Yeah, that's typically the end goal for funeral directing. Okay. I got to jump into these finances, guys. Listen, I don't know if we should be together. I also want her to have independence. Definitely wouldn't get kids yet. Marriage, I would have taken a little more time. There's going to be some separate conversations after this episode, I will be honest. yeah not the biggest fan of what you guys got going on let's see for a second what do you guys think your household financial score is zero I think maybe like a three if you want to see where you stand in the world of finances take the hammer financial score for free it just takes a few minutes at calebhammer.com see where you stand, where you're doing poorly where you're doing great you guys are awesome, I love you guys and make sure to download the new and improved an awesome DollarWise budgeting app. And make sure you sign up for the annual version. You will get my signed budgeting cookbook signed directly to you. That ends at the end of March, and then it's gone forever. You also get my signed meal plan as well. So check that out, guys. March is the last to get both, and the cookbook is gone forever. All those links are in the description below. I know you applied to work here. Yeah. Were you guys going to move to Austin? Honestly, I probably would have. Unless we could keep a closer eye on you. I'm not a huge fan of Buffalo. There's just not much going on. Who is? Yeah. Honestly, yes. Only people that like football. And even them. Do you move? I would. No, do you move? Like exercise? It's an active town. Yeah. What would you do here? Barbecue? Maybe. I've heard good things. Yes. Well, ultimately, part of the plan is to lose weight. Buddy, I'm sorry. Listen, as a yo-yoer myself, as someone that is on a decent weight loss journey this year so far, how is it the plan? That's not a the plan. You're either doing it or you're not. You don't have a plan. What's your plan to lose weight? Eat less and move more. Okay, then do that, fatty. What? Yeah. Yeah, I mean. Sorry. From a fellow fatty, fatty, do that. It sure does. It really does. I know. I struggle with it, too, as a fatty. That's not a plan. You do it or you don't. If you're not doing it, there is no plan. Yeah. And if you want to have kids, I'd like you to actually be alive for them. That is another part of the conversation of having kids is why we want to do that sooner rather than later. Well, no, just don't be fat. I've never really. So the first four statements are collections of yours. Because again, I don't know why you put shit on her Why are you the f***ing collections Up the dick, dude? Huh? Huh? What are you doing? What are you doing? What's going on, asshole? Pick one and I'll answer Okay, $587 For... I don't know because it's the collection agency 587 That was probably a... Deserve Yeah, that was a credit card I opened while in college Okay, why didn't you pay it While in college, asshole. I ultimately just didn't. I don't have a great reason for it. But she's the problem. She's the one that needs the budget, huh? Yeah. Right, asshole? Fuck you. Synchrony Bank, $2,377. Why didn't you pay it? Asshole? Fuck you. During that time, I was unemployed. That one does have a fair enough. Sure. Why didn't you pay on it when you were employed? You make money. I made the minimums most of the time. Okay, until you did, and then it went to collections, asshole. What the f*** are you talking about? It's in collections minimums most of the time. F*** you, it's in collections. Yeah, yeah. I know you can at least move across the room to your computer and check. Yeah, a lot of the stuff that's in collections, a few of them were auto pays that I just didn't check on. And I don't answer my phone if it's not a number I don't recognize. It shouldn't be a phone call, buddy. It's there. It's your f***ing accounts. Check your s***. Look at your phone. What are you doing? I know all you do is look at the screen all day No one ends up looking like you who doesn't So come on I know you can check this shit I could but I didn't because I thought You weren't the literal reddit mod final boss Again I thought I trusted the auto pay and I Just didn't check it What do you think of this because I know you Discovered a lot of this on the phone call last night with Lindsay She's telling me you didn't know a lot Of this existed Well she knew it existed Hey, fuck off, you fat fuck. It is her turn to speak. Like I said, he would get mad at me every time that I would get like that. That you asked? Like I would get like the text to my phone saying that we had money due. And I would tell him like, hey, I just got this text. This needs to be paid. It would start fights. Really, dude? So you had a warning system, i.e. her, and then you still didn't? That just rumored your entire argument, dick. She wouldn't tell me that the payments are not going through until it had failed to go through like six times. I would tell him. I would tell you. Yeah, after attempt like number six where the minimum now was way higher. You told me I would get the text messages that we owed money. You would tell me don't look at it. Block the number. Leave it alone. I never told you to block the number. You would tell me to block the number. You didn't even want to know about it. Of course I wanted to know about it. Then what the f*** happened? How can there be this big of a disagreement on how that happened? How's that even possible? I think you just didn't want to admit that you don't have the funds. Also, I know a lot of you want me to bring up to him what was talked about when he was outside of the room. We're going to do that in the post-show. I'm going to need a second to think about it. Okay, and then there's an additional 362 from Progressive. Couldn't pay that? Oh, what are you looking at her for? Nothing. Did you see that look? Chad, did you see that look? Did you guys see that look? That was a look of concern. You afraid? Should be. Yeah, a little. Yeah, you'll be rolling away. Yeah, I'll find the nearest hill and just spin. No, you'll find the nearest buffet. Well, you guys do have a CC's here. Yeah, we have CC's. We don't. $3,326. Oh, wait. No, there's an additional... Okay. All right. An extra collection. 562. This was LVNV funding. That might be the collector, but Capital One. Another credit card I had during college that I just... So you couldn't literally do anything ever. Ever. What? How the... You said that's another credit card? I thought you only had one in college. No, I had three. And when were you going to tell me? Oh, my gosh. When were you going to ask? What? That's not how relationships work. I'm going to let you know. A little fun fact. She knew of the accounts in collection, and she knew the amounts. Just didn't ask what specifically they were for. You would yell at me every time I did. Well, I would say, yeah. I mean, it's in collections. We just don't have the money to pay it right now. I'll pay it in a month or two. I just want to assume that's how the conversation between Bill and Melinda went. When were you going to tell me you had an STD? Well, when were you going to ask if I had an STD? When are you going to ask, buddy? That's not how things work. That's not how things work. Why would she ask? If she thought it was one credit card, why would she ask? Huh. By the way, any chance you have more collections from credit cards you had while you were in college? That's not something someone asks. Again, I told her I have this many things in collections and these are the balances. I didn't think it mattered what they were for. As long as, hey, I have this many things in collections and it's this balance. Well, she discovered a lot of this last night, I'm being told, though. She discovered what it was for, but not the amount or that it existed. Is that true, Brittany? Because I don't trust him, I'll be honest. I knew he was hiding things, but I didn't think it was this extreme. I don't think it was to this level. Okay. You knew of the accounts, and you knew how much they were. You just didn't know what for specifically. Because we went over all this when we got the car. Who's Amazon Chase card? That's mine. Okay. Now, I'm being told a lot of the cards, he made you open. Is this one of them? He did push me to open it. What the f***? You pushed me to open all of them. What the f***, asshole? Pushed, not made. Pushed, yes, I'm saying what the f***, asshole. Asshole, what the f***? So, again, I didn't make her open them, but she didn't have anything building credit whatsoever. Yeah, and now this is f***ing her credit because they're maxed out. So you pushed her to do this, Dick. That one specifically was, it was a rough year and we wanted to do a bigger Christmas. She had a job offer in hand for a start date, which was originally supposed to be sooner, but it got delayed because of state paperwork and bullshit. So it was, she was supposed to be starting at 19 an hour. So we figured, well, let's do this and we'll do a bigger Christmas because we are you. We are you. I feel it was we. No, I feel it was you. Yeah, you're the one that get her more credit card debt, preventing her from leaving even more. Because how is she going to make her minimum payments? Seems like an extra tool in your arsenal. Of fat. Because you're fat. Really? Nah. I think I'm a size four. Maybe XL, but four. I'm being told the balance is bigger. How much bigger? What do you mean the balance is bigger? How much bigger? There's only $100 more that can be put on here. What's the balance? I don't know. What is the balance? Pull it up. Do you know the balance or do you need to pull it up? Not off the top of my head. Pull it up. It actually might be about the same because, yeah, we did charge to it, but I think a payment went through. I don't know. Yeah, you're a 4XL. The current balance is almost $1,400. Okay, so it actually went down. Apparently, for now. Okay. That's good. Okay. Even still, that is still dramatically high. It's f***ing her credit, and I'm sure that will be replenished because you guys spend when there's money to spend. That's probably right after payment was made, and now we're going to spend more money. So I'll put it at $14.09. Pull up your Amazon. Who spends – do we have a shared Amazon account or separate Amazon accounts? Separate Amazon accounts. Pull up both your Amazon accounts. Do they both go to this card? Yeah, more or less. Of course. Of course. So, yep, I need to see both. And you're supposed to spend $300 each on this card, bringing it to $600 when you opened it. It's more than double that, even with the payment made. It's already screen recording. Okay, a dinosaur necklace, I guess, making her like you for a second. Gluclair pen tips? Yeah, yeah. Amazon Basics, flexible fabric, dye detector test strips, and Barovsidu... What? Just waterproofing something. Slim Jims. You're getting Slim Jims on Amazon? All right. Oh, the first good thing he's ever done in his life. He got f***ing Gamer Subs. He got f***ing Gamer Subs. Listen, he got the pack of good. That's Brandon's favorite flavor. I like the blowhole one, but even still, Gamer Subs, remember, get it. It's 40 cents a serving. Make your energy drinks at home. Use my link. Get the free samples. Gamer Subs.gg. Type in code Caleb. You can see what flavor you like and then just order it. Just like you got to make your coffee at home. You got to make your energy drinks at home, too. Save that money. First good thing you've ever done in your life. That and the engineering chip. It's just so much bullshit. There's so many dinosaur things, keyboard. You're getting her shit. What do you love bomb and then trap her inside? It's just I figure if we can get something that either of us want, why not just do it? Well, because you don't have money. Let's see yours. Listen, I'll let you guys use the fizz card. or at least it's a debit card that builds credit. And I'll also get you a course career certification, okay, lady? So that we can hopefully, listen, if you want to get out of the funeral world, because opening up a funeral home, I don't want that to be your future necessarily. This is the website. She does not use apps for anything. I need to look at your orders. You know how to get to your orders? So I'll get you a course career certification of your choices. So a lot of people in the audience have used that to dramatically improve their income and career. Okay. Yeah, you're getting more of the glucose things as well. That's a necklace. More things. It's all bullshit. Look at all this shit. Sorry, chat. We're putting it on screen. Wireless mouse and Funko Pops. Wireless gaming controller. Come on. This is just all shit, guys. Other than the glucose thing, which I can understand because, I mean, nothing there was a necessity other than that. It's all bullshit. It's all stupid. Yeah, eBay. What are you getting from Etsy 277? That was a Christmas gift for her. It was a dinosaur replica skull. Human dinosaurs. Big fan, huh? Yes. Interesting. eBay, $30, and then a shit ton of Amazons, Platters, Chocolates. Of course, when you guys go for chocolates, you get platters of it. Bullshit, bullshit, actual potential groceries at Sam's. But it's a shit, man. Listen, it's 2025. Now we're getting 2025 statements at this point, so I can't see how much interest accrued last year. I can't see how many fees. So right now, year fresh, first statement starting at zero, but it's all about to start getting through quick. Oh, you took a $1,000 trip to Chicago so you could see dinosaurs. Chicago to see dinosaurs? We went to a field museum to see Sue with a T-Rex. Sure. Who's Capital One? Which one in particular? Plan them. Me. All right, Billiam. $266.45 with a $25 minimum fee payment. What the fuck is going on here? I took it out to try to help my credit with on-time payments. Okay, and that's what you forced her to open credit cards for. So why would you force her to do that if you can't even do it yourself, asshole? You spend immediately what you put on, and then interest agrees even more, making the balance go up. What are you talking about? Yeah, but can't scores just be manipulated to the point where if I need my score better for something, I'll just pay the shit down a month before? What's your score? Oh, like a 511. Yeah, you don't know what you're talking about. What's a 511? Shut the fuck up. You're under 600. Oh, well, how are you talking to me about credit scores? Well, I need more on-time payments to help my history. Oh, yeah, I do. My history is terrible. Maybe make them on time, especially when she's telling you, hey, they're a little late, asshole. And that's why I have more accounts is to try to make more on-time payments. Oh, yeah, that's going to make you even better organizing things and making payments on time. Just have more payments. F*** up. What happened? Well, my first attempt at building a budgeting app, it didn't go over very well. So I'll rewind. After hundreds of financial audit guests, one pattern stood out. People weren't failing because they try. They were being handed crappy tools that weren't built for real life. So I tried to see if I could fix it. In January last year, 2025, I launched an app driven by the belief that budgeting shouldn't feel complicated or intimidating. I had good intentions, but the first app was a complete dumpster fire. I was trusting the wrong developer, and that partner cost us thousands, and left my customers with the buggy app that only kind of worked. And that failure forced me to ask a question that I couldn't avoid. Do I walk away, or do I try again? Ultimately, I chose to double down and commit to building a new app the right way. Myself, and an incredible team. Every dollar that I made from YouTube went straight back into the product. No investors, no shortcuts, just the belief that I could change lives with a better approach. So we rebuilt the app again and again, 38 different versions in total. I obsessed over every single detail that most people wouldn't ever notice. And that's because if this app was going to go live, it had to work for real people with real lives. So everyone who stuck with me and my team shared their feedback and believed in what we're doing. Thank you. You helped shape what this has become. This is my vision for the future of budgeting. And I'm just getting started. DollarWise 6.0 is finally launching on February 17th. Rewrite your money story. Learn more at DollarWise.com. We're so fucking back. Starbucks is bulls**t and a waste of money. and you already know that by making your coffee at home and investing the rest. So now you need to do that with your energy drink as well. Make Gamer Subs at home for just 40 cents a serving. Honestly, it literally tastes better. And we proved this accidentally via a blind taste test in our Hammer Elite show, Fat and Fatter. The number one ranked energy drink is Gamer Subs. Literally, the cherry flavor is insane. Listen, you can also get free samples to see if you like it, or 10% off your order at Gamersubs.gg, or click that link in the description below. Type in code CALEB. DMV, that's fine. Interest is already accruing this year. 30%. Who's affirming at a 16% interest rate? It's a micro-dick balance. I'm assuming it's paid off now and now. Oh, shit, there's a lot more. Okay. Okay. How much are we affirming? Who's affirming? What are we affirming? So there's three affirms that are in collections And then there's another affirm that's active Are these the ones in collections? No, I think these are just active These are in collections? What is wrong with you? What the f*** are you talking about, dude? Oh, they are! What are you doing? Why? She's the problem Well, come on No No By the time I found out about the payments not processing I had to make a tuition payment for her college. So it was either make the tuition payment or have the shit go to collections. Okay, and then an active one for Newegg. Who's getting a fucking computer? The Newegg one should also be in collections. That one should... Oh my fucking die. An Amazon one is active. That should be the only active one. Well, I'll do a firm, asshole. I don't know what to put for minimum payments, but how are they even letting you open that one? Yeah, that is a very good question. $2,107.47. I don't even know the minimum because most of them are in collections anyway. Okay, death to friends and family and bullshit. What the f***? So, okay, to friends, $1,000. To family, $800. What is this for? So I owe my sister a thousand because I was arguing with when we moved out of the- Do we want to say sister? Yeah, that one's fine. Okay. When we moved out of the Rochester apartment there was so much bullshit going on with that apartment complex that I Yeah I sure nothing to do with you I did withhold rent for a while Oh yeah Did you Yes. We had the heat stuck on maximum for multiple months at a time. Their only attempt to fix it was replace the same zone valve four times. And after two months of that, I... It doesn't matter. You still have to pay rent now. It was unlivable. It was over 100 degrees. your entire future for it and that's what i said is i will give you the rent when you make it livable but honestly you're not going to make or break them you're breaking yourself in the future listen i agree you shouldn't have to pay rent they're pieces of shit if that is true but you're not harming them you're only harming yourself when they made it livable i gave them that money and then when we moved out so they didn't hurt your credit with that no and then Well, then you're okay. Well, there is more to the story. When we moved out, we didn't take thorough pictures when we left, and they tried claiming. They claimed that, hey, it caused a bunch of this other damage. They claimed we left a ton of stuff by the dumpsters. I was in the middle of disputing it with the creditor or with the collections agency, but my sister was closing on a house at the time, and she was a co-signer at the beginning. and she needed it off because she was buying a house. So she paid it and I owe her the money for that. I told her, I just don't, I'll pay you. But like, ultimately I would continue fighting this, but you need it off now. Just pay it. I'll pay you back. Okay. Okay. So no minimums then. Correct. And then to family, there's 800. Family. Which one was the 800? Friend. This is the friend. friend 800 that one was so when we got the car we when we got the car she had just started at the debt collection job but hadn't received a check yet yeah before you made her quit yep my my car the explorer broke down that one was fully paid off but we had no idea what the bill was going to be and we figured we were going to need two vehicles so we went and got a car and in that time or sorry friend um my friend said hey i gave you this money to hold on to because my i don't want my partner knowing i have that money i gave you that money to hold on to in case use it for the down payment for the car and just pay me back when she gets her first check well then when that happened she said hey just hold on to the money still okay so no minimums on this as well correct So you guys are just in debt to everyone. I mean, you owe some pay advance to Dave $100, and you're banned from using pay advance app now like Moneyline, Dave, and Bridget. Like, what the f***? Are these in collections? No, they're just still, like, in the app. So you owe a total of to the pay advance $800 across three apps. What are you going to do? See, listen, there's only one thing that has been heard so far. It was the Amazon card that you are spending on that you made her open. How the fuck can you say she needs the budget? How in your application and phone call last night is that what you were saying? It's she's like until recently, she like didn't work for much. So she doesn't value the dollar with anything, asshole. You're the one that's. Yeah, I ultimately going forward, if since she's going to have income as well, we need to be aligned on how to move forward and yeah the steps i've taken are but we need to make sure to not do them going forward and yes a lot of that is me but i know generally what i'm doing wrong she doesn't why don't you correct it that's even worse i'd rather be ignorant than intentionally doing the wrong thing because it's always been just kicking the can down the road of oh things will get better when this happens and then well that another shit show happens along the way who's the saver card? We both have a saver. Who's 401.67? Probably me. Bill, bill, bill. Okay, 401.67, minimum payment, 25 bucks, immediately spending way more on it than you spent towards it, of course. There he is. There's the titties. Olive Garden, Just Pizza, Outback, McDonald's, Taco Bell, Popeye's, Panera bread mcdonald's mcdonald's john's pizza and subs mcdonald's domino's ted's hot dogs wegman's well wegman's is sometimes groceries right sometimes yeah i'm sure it probably wasn't in your case olive garden domino's kfc domino's mcdonald's olive garden it's all bullshit not one purchase on there not bullshit we didn't even eat the popeyes what um we got it and it it was disgusting, so we just didn't eat it, so we went out to eat somewhere else. You've never had a food that you didn't love. I'm actually a very picky eater. Are you sure about that? Yeah, you only get slop-fast food. Yes. I don't eat a lot of red meat. I don't eat pork hardly. It's doing so well for you. Yeah, clearly. Only on the greens and chicken. Chicken and pizza. Yeah, he has a salad of like a three-year-old. How many calories do you consume a day? At my peak was probably 5,200. How about, what the f***? That's crazy. How about just now? Well, no way it's not over at least 3,500. Well, now I've been losing weight for a little. Lies, impossible. I just, look, I have the food here. I eat one meal a day. Okay, then it's a big binge. Yes, it is. It's a massive binge with more calories than anyone could consume a day. That binge is about 2,500 calories. You are not just at 2,500. You would be substantially losing weight at your size and height. Again, I started the diet somewhat recently from November. Okay, well, this literally, November, no. This was getting Olive Garden, not anything lean and healthy or McDonald's, in the middle of December. That was a few weeks ago. F*** you. What are you talking about? Liar. If I eat like shit and I only do that once a day. You might gaslight her on a daily basis. You're not going to gaslight me. I see this shit on a daily basis. F*** you, man tits. What are you talking about? I got man tits too, so I can say it. If I eat like shit once a day, it's still not worse. Calories in, calories out. There is no way you're doing 2,500. Calories in, calories out. I would be losing weight. I do not believe you. I am losing weight. I do not believe you. Since November to now, I've lost 18 pounds. Not with the 1,500. How heavy are you? I am currently 330, basically. 330, 18 pounds in a few months is actually a pathetic joke. That's water weight lost in two days if you were actually dieting. Yeah, from these earlier in the year, I lost another 30 pounds. You only lost that 30 pounds when I was dying in the hospital. I had lost it well before that. I had just helped keep it. When I would go home from the hospital, I would binge because I was scared. But yeah, I would eat a lot when I got home. I hope you're losing weight. I'm just struggling. I'm believing it. That sounds like you took a couple steps in your body. It was like, oh, this is the first time I've ever seen this. and he lost 18 pounds in like three months. Discover card. Who is this? Me. Oh, Bill. Seems to all be you. And surprise, it's McDonald's and Affirm. Oh, there's your minimum payment for Affirm. $24.54. Good. We can put that to the earlier one. Okay. Well, I don't know what you owe on this asshole. That one is currently, I believe, $6.60. What's your minimum payment? I think $40. Okay. Jeez. Okay, who's the quick silver one? You. Me? Yeah. And Miss Brittany. Did he push you to open this one? Yes. Of course. Bill, what is wrong with you? We were doing well at first with it. Oh, shut the fuck up. I'm not listening to this. $291.46 with a minimum monthly payment of $29. you spent more than you put towards it of course, interest is accrued wine and spin let's find another way to kill ourselves guys, that's smart maybe groceries, maybe bullshit, I don't know Uber, do they even allow that? yeah yeah okay, Amazon Prime PayPal funeral, 285 aren't you supposed to be getting paid for funerals? No, that was for one of the exams I had to take. Ah, is that person dead or not? Yes, passed. Taco Bell, Starbucks, groceries or not? I don't know. Patreon? F*** you, who? Guaranteed it's not as good as Hammer Elite on YouTube. Guaranteed. It's a Reddit podcast. Told you. Told you. I knew it. I knew it. You're the people that tried to cancel me in this way. Platters, chocolate, and some bullshit. Or groceries. Hard to tell. Interest fees, late fee already this year. What are we doing? Late fees on yours. This is a year card. There were late fees on it? Yeah. I didn't know. One. I actually don't have your login for that. I don't have your username. I didn't know there was a late fee on it. I don't. Again, I don't have the login for that. Well, Britt, here's your saver card. Britt Denis, that he made you open. $476.67. with a minimum monthly payment of $25. $476. Well, it was all spent on there. That's for full plate eatery. What is this full plate? You always get full plate. What are we doing? No, not full plate. No, what was the chocolate? I don't remember. I have Pizza Hut, Swiss chile, cheese pizza. Yeah, we really are pizza obsessed. Mighty Tacos, Tully's, and McDonald's. Don't you have diabetes? Yes. Why the f*** is this even an option? McDonald's. You're not, even the salads there are like a thousand trillion calories. Why are you getting McDonald's? I can't cook. Neither of us can cook. Okay, that's like a literal. It's impossible not to be able to cook. It's so, it's, can you cook something incredible? Maybe not, but cooking a burger as you make a patty, which you probably shouldn't do, just with the situation, neither of you, but even so, stove, flip, done. Not complicated. I'm not great at cooking either. I have the cookbook. I worked with a professional chef on it. You guys will get the cookbook for free, the meal plan, all that good stuff, and the grocery list that is in the debt class and part of the Master Your Money program. But chicken salad sandwich, easy. That is not cooking. You don't even have to cook. Overnight oats ain't cooking. Not cooking is not an option. You're dying. You're literally dying. Remember when you almost died? That wasn't fun. Was that fun? No. Let's not do that again. I still can't cook. We try. We try to cook. We make food and it ends up terrible, so we just end up going to get takeout. I mean, even the pre-prepared meals from the grocery stores that you warm up is cheaper and healthier. Just do that, even. They are not cheaper. Then going out to eat, yes, they are. I have done them. I do them. They are cheaper. A 20-piece McNugget with two medium fries at McDonald's comes to $16.11. At the grocery store we go to, there is pre-prepared chicken filets that does not include a side whatsoever, and those alone are $16. Before tax. Don't get the filet chickens. But I like chicken. You get fucking raw chicken. It's so easy to cook. It's a timer. Whether or not you can season it. There's like pre-packaged seasonings. guys a full thing of Tyson's things that you put in the oven is cheaper we can't cook it can't cook it it's already cooked it's already cooked it turns out terrible it never tastes fully done it always just gets thrown out oh man I don't know what is this a lease you leased something that's probably the couch that's probably Aaron's we are leased the couch cooked. Good luck. You're at least... Who's on the couch? Is it both of you? Just me. Oh, Bill, I don't want to see what the f*** your seat looks like. The payments on that are I think $50 every other week. You're signing yourself for a DD table? What's a DD table? It's a drop-down table. The middle seat of the couch can... Where do you eat McDonald's from? Sometimes. Yeah. It's $84.99 a month. With a balance of $2,000. It's so stupid. Insane interest rate. The balance is not $2,000 anymore. It's like $300 max. Well, I know that you're not going to be able to resell that. So you spent, well, it's going to be $2,000. You have spent $2,000 over the course of the payment on a $600 couch. Yeah. $2,000 on a $600 couch. And that's why I want to rebuild my credit by taking other payments. Yeah. Uh-huh. Die. Okay. Is this another thing? Is this different? Is this a separate thing? Do we know? It's probably just page two. Okay. What is this lease? Okay. I think this is another. This is the same thing again. I think. Okay. Payment schedule. I think this is for car. Yes. Wait. No. 91. No. This is, I think, the same. Okay. That's the same thing again. Okay. Jeez. Okay. It's like a thousand pages for that one document. Okay. Here's the car. at a 15.36% interest rate. We could have done a lot worse. Yeah, there's always options for worse, Bill. So this is one of our biggest arguments to date, is this car. I don't see the car as all that bad. I'm not a huge fan of the car in particular. What is it? It's a 2022 Kia Soul. You fit? It's her car. It's worth $16,000 when you owe $19,000. $19,000. Yeah, so originally when my car died, we needed another vehicle. And for that vehicle, we could have gotten something cheaper. Ultimately, this car was $17,000, but then dealership fees and we added the warranty, whatever. It came to about $22,000. And the monthly payment on it was about $438,000. When we got a car – Wait, this monthly is $438,000. Yeah, that is the – yeah, that's what I'm talking about. That car, when the Explorer died, we wanted to get a car that I wanted to get a car that we wanted. I didn't want to just get whatever cheapest car that we could afford. I wanted to get a car that we wanted that was within budget. Originally, we looked at a 2011 PS- Oh, my f*** you missed three payments last year. I don't even care. You missed three payments last year. The interest rate's insane. The minimum of the payment's stupid. F*** you. Missed three payments? Oh, my f***. late late probably missed no not missed fine late he was late you didn't tell me it was late you didn't tell her it was late it was not late enough to hit credit it was just i don't give a if it's late enough to hit credit or not it shouldn't be late at all yeah it was it i don't keep an eye on the bank accounts the auto pay failed and got returned well what the how many times until you learn your lesson, dude. Don't say, now I've learned my lesson. Well, I have. No, fuck you. I don't believe you. Fuck you, dude. Student loans from Miss Brittany, $6,725.90. Yeah, those are on auto pay. Minimums, have they started yet? Yes. What's your minimum? I believe 80. 80 a month. 80 a month. I think it's 81 and some change, but 80. I'll say 82 if it's 81 and some change. Dude, it keeps Settlement offer, what? 940? Oh, they said she was 564 for a settlement What is this? That was one of the medical ones Which one? I have no clue Was that one the taco? No, that one was higher Did you almost die from a taco? Yes how do you guys do all the fattest things anyone's ever done how do you almost die from a taco i choked on a piece of a shell and it was like stuck in my throat you thought it was stuck in your throat could you breathe yes what we had a panic attack probably then went to the emergency room for it. Okay. Okay, well, that's $5.64. Okay, start checking account with $8. Joe's, well, quick mark. You went and got an energy drink or something. Snack. I mean, you make your gamer steps at home, so you better not be doing an energy drink. This checking account, $198. Bullshit, bullshit. Hulu, Prime Video, Regal Cinemas, Regal Cinemas. Bullshit. 365 Market. Yeah, it looks like bullshit, though. Potential Bullshit of Groceries. You got, I think, Hammer Elite, which, thank goodness, because it is the best and number one membership on YouTube for a reason. Amazon Prime Video. Cursor AI. What? Never even heard of that. Bullshit, bullshit, bullshit. Dollar Tree. Bullshit, bullshit, bullshit. Premium. Bullshit. HBO. Amazon. Then we now eBay. King's Isle. Bullshit, bullshit, bullshit. Crunchbase. Amazon. bath body works Wegmans bullshit this checking account 141 do we not have retirement accounts nothing in there no listen guys there's obviously larger issues at a whole but I will attempt to make a budget you did miss 125 in overdraft fees okay well I'm not surprised you guys are horrendous financially and then you're a horrendous individual and then you're not being able to cook is very weird and being jealous of careers is also very odd when you chose it like trust me we got issues across the board, but I know the one thing you want me to bring up and confront him on, we will do in the post show that is coming very, very soon. Income of the household, it's about to be $7,700. If we're combined, I recommend being separate, actually, for her sake. But that is an off-camera conversation. Minimum monthly payments has, I mean, it's chunky, but strong household income, $800, $13.74. What's our total rent? $11.25. Okay. Utilities, electric, gas, internet, all combined. Water. How much? $250. Gas, vroom, vroom, drive, drive. That one's going to be a lot higher because of... How much? Because of the heavy load? Yeah. Probably $400. Phone bill? $90. Car insurance? $200. $700 for groceries. Usually I do $600 for people. But a little bigger, a little more complicated. Might have to do a little more pre-prepared. $700. TP, find anything else to survive? We'll do $200. Tampons, all the good shit. Haircuts, too. You can get haircuts. It's okay. It's okay. Thank you. Okay? I assume you're losing your hair already. Yeah, so you'll be fine. Let her get haircuts. Medical, health care, co-pays, anything? That one, a lot, like $500. Okay. Jim? No. Okay, can I put one in? Yeah. Please, go. $50. We might still be paying for one. I'll put $50 there. Do you have any pets? No. Good. Subscriptions, I'll put $50 so you guys can share. Anything else I need to put in this budget? that I have not? No, I think that's it. Maybe dinosaurs? Since you said that's part of the reason we're in debt. My dinosaurs? I'll see if there's a dinosaur fund. Okay, listen. You got an extra $3,321 left, so I'll give you $321.26 for fun, and you have an extra $3,000 left. Okay? That helps you guys get to the finish line. okay so let's take a look at this debt um collections obviously will pay off for the credit score purposes but that will be last i guess there is additional medical debt that he didn't see but like 6200 okay either way our total debt position is 44 774 and i'd get on a payment plan for those medical debts 34 cents but i will minus the student loans of 6725.90 cents. So $38,048.44 with $3,000 a month. That's only a year. I mean, you guys are fine, but that's, I don't think that's the bigger conversation, but you guys are fine. Then you can do a fully funded emergency fund, catch up on your retirement, 50, 30, 20. That's all good. That's obviously not the issue here. And you know the issue. And we're going to talk about that in the post show, but let's get the hammer financial score first. There's also an extra, there's also an extra debt that apparently you don't know about that Lindsay just learned about when you guys came into the office today. So I will let you know what that is in the post show as well. And then we'll have the big conversation as well. Let's get your hammer financial score though. Get yours at Calebhammer.com. Spending in a budget. You overspend 0 out of 10. DAT collection 0 out of 10. Emergency fund nothing 0 out of 10. Retirement nothing 0 out of 10. Real estate nothing 0 out of 10. Hammer financial score 0 out of 10. Also, fuck you. Also join us in the post show. I mean, you know this is about to be the most insane one pretty much ever. Click the join button. See you there. She said it's gotten physical a couple times. You literally said I'm sorry for the times that this escalates. Escalates does not mean physical. Escalates means, you know, a larger fight. With you, sometimes it does. The one time you threatened to break my jaw. I don't think that if you guys are in an argument, there is still ever a time to put your hands on her. I said if you hit me, I will hit you back. And I guarantee you I will hit harder. Hammer Elite is the best YouTube membership on the platform. And I just upgraded it. New dedicated premium shows every single day, Monday through Friday. Join with the link in the pinned comment or description below. This is the best membership you'll ever join, and that's a promise.