226: Quite the Commitment..

Kick us off Daylorn. Okay. Well, I just opened up my Instagram and the first thing on there was this whole Cold Play debacle and As I was saying it out loud. I just realized I'm like wow, this is the second like two episodes in a row I'm bringing up Cold Play Let's see how many episodes in a row Lauren can make Cold Play fit fetch into yeah into the theme Into our conversation. Yeah. Oh my god. So funny. I don't know if you guys have seen it but there's a video from a Cold Play concert where the cameraman like Zooms to the like it's a Jumbotron thing and this cameraman kiss cam I guess on a couple Which I didn't know they did that at concerts, but go off. I didn't really do that either and maybe they knew I Was so nervous to get on the kiss cam when me and Jess went to a game early on I was like don't put me on there It was nervous. I would have loved that. I was so nervous, but Zoom on the people and it's this guy and this lady and they're like happily dancing the Cold Play and he notices He's on camera and literally Bolts and the woman turns around and she ducks and like walks behind people to get out like they both go separate directions Just bolt and it turns out. He's like I've seen a lot of speculation that he's actually like a CEO and he's married Uh-huh and people like obviously sent it to his wife She has since like changed her last name on Facebook. No way. I didn't even I haven't dug into it at all Oh, I'm just had a little too much time online today. Totally get that Missed my nap because I couldn't get off tick-tock. Oh, I thought you got a little power nap in 15 minutes Lauren Oh god Well, I'm running on a little sleep as usual It's just like one of the busiest weeks like Every day has felt like I just completed a full weekend and I'm like wait, it's not Friday tomorrow This I can't believe it actually finally is Friday tomorrow because it's just been like The longest week I hate weeks like that where you get to Tuesday and you're like, oh my god. I'm so ready for the weekend. You're like Oh Hey, hey, I mean like don't get me wrong. It's like good busy and it's I'm really appreciative of it It's just that like I am exhausted yeah, and I Just I always hope that I it does that I don't come off as tired as I as you feel often am I'm also just like chronically like a tired person like I kind of want to get like blood work and and do one of those holistic things So should anyone has any recommendations and function health is really good. You just like go to a quest lab There's like a bunch of labs everywhere, but you literally like go to a quest lab and like Do you feel like so many results really because I was thinking about I've heard people doing a lot of like these ones where you pay Out of pocket, so they're really expensive, which is why I've been holding off on it No, this one's like I think they're running a deal right now I want one of those rings too so that I can like see what my sleep patterns look like yeah, I know Honestly would depress me. I miss summer vacation It's the middle of summer right now and all I want to do is go back to being a kid and like having summer vacation I miss that yeah, you know what was cool, too Is I was just thinking about this because Brian's in Idaho right now for work and and he was saying how like the sun like Just went down and it was like 10 p.m. And I was like Minnesota's like that Yes, so amazing and I just those days were so fun when I was a kid during the summertime like I felt like Summer was a year for me. I didn't realize that it was only a few months when I found that out when I was a kid I was like Flabbergasted and like me and my friends we would stay up until the sun would go down playing ghosts in the graveyard Yeah, and catching lightning bugs Yeah in our backyards and like it was this coldest sack too coldest sack So the backyards like all like faced each other and all the parents would go on their porches and like have wine And have the lights on but we all play out in this basically a huge backyard because they were all combined And I just love stuff like that. So I agree summertime. I know Now we're adults and I thought I don't know I thought people might you know slack off a little bit in the summer, but no one in my work world is slacken off We need to like we need to chill a little fan like if we all agree to slack It could be good. Yeah, right like it was just slow it down a little bit I was talking to someone who's from the UK and will partially work with people in the UK and he was like they just They're so different. They like truly truly value their work-life balance mostly life Not much work. No Spain We have any people in Spain listening you guys still do siestas. They get daily naps I know like I need a siesta. Is that like a common thing? I only in certain areas. I'm asking our friends out there. We got friends there I remember friends there learning that my Spanish classes. I was like, I know we incorporate that right now Literally now. Okay. Let's get into this theme today. I've been toying I was gonna say toting I've been toting the lawn of two ideas I've been toying with two ideas and one of them is like that's a choice Like ooh, that's certainly a choice to do that. He sounded like that tick-tock sound And then the other is like Mmm quite the commitment like you've been doing that for quite some time That's quite the commitment you've been doing or like damn that is a lot of energy to do that like It wouldn't be me. I wouldn't I wouldn't do that So I've got quite a few you have found a couple as well I think it's gonna be a good theme. We'll see what title I agree on and if I use the title That I don't pick again. Don't judge me. My brain is running out of ideas after 224 episodes I don't know how you do that. I literally don't even know how to caption any of my Instagram So I don't know how you come up with names for the episode. My brain hurts I literally sit there and I stare at the ceiling for 30 minutes like a lot of times when the episode is late late It's because I can't think of a name. You see if this was my podcast. It would be like episode 1053 just numbered yeah With a smiley face new emoji each time It's so funny and I do remember most of the names like especially if someone tells me but okay enough about us We've been grabbing too long people are screaming get to the Reddit stories. So without further ado Let's dive in. Let's do it Before we get into this week's stories this episode is presented by soul Dijonero So you love to take care of your skin and you love to smell great That's why the new body bottle a lot of lotion from soul Dijonero is for you and me it's fast absorbing and non sticky Which is crucial it gives you 24 hours of non-stop weightless daily hydration and it's made with their iconic Churrosa 62 cent from sunrise to the after-party new body bottle a lot of by soul Dijonero should be your new lotion obsession Give it a try. You know you want to shop now at Sephora and soul Dijonero calm Do you want to get super enraged or weirded out right away? Enraged enraged okay for sure okay, there is Some trigger warnings on this one. It does involve animals and like potentially Bad situation regarding animals like dog kidnapping So I haven't gotten into it. I haven't read it. I'm going off the title and what the trigger warning at the top is Oh, this isn't the one that you told me about it's a different one a worse one. Oh, I know So let's get into this and then we'll talk about the other one. Okay. Whoo because it'll fit. Oh, yeah Okay, so this is coming from r slash relationships It is titled my 23 female boyfriend 23 male of three years Stealthily took my 11 year old dog to a vet 80 kilometers away to be put to sleep It was only luck I found out and got him back Boyfriend doesn't know I have my dog back, but he comes home tomorrow night My boyfriend Jay left for a trip up the coast to help family on Friday morning while I was at work Friday I got a phone call from one of my ex's flatmates Bob who I lived with I uni He thought he had my dog with him and phoned me because someone had dropped him off to the vet surgery He worked at to be put to sleep Bob sent me pics and it was my Stixie and I'd recognize him anywhere I grew up with him and he was so close to me when I left home to study There were no questions about it Stixie stayed with me. How can you even get away with that? How could the vet agree to that? Bob kept Stixie with him and I drove to pick him up as soon as I was out of work Bob also showed me a phone recording. He took a the vet security camera screen and there's no doubt in the world It's Jay dropping him off. Wow. He's even wearing the same clothes He left in this morning before I went to work Jay has texted me a few times today, and I don't know why but I'm not confronting him about this I'm actually scared. I will utterly lose it at him I'm running everything through my head on why he would do this We talked sometimes about moving north to be near his family or overseas within a few years I can't believe I'm trying to find reasons for him to do what he did or Reasons for me to not rip him a new one and dump everything he owns on the front yard and set fire to it tonight I'm half numb and half stunned beyond rational thought. Why can't I get functionally angry here? He texted me this morning like he normally does when he's away. I replied like normal though We're not big text talkers anyways. He asked me a couple of times if I was okay Everything in the text. I'm trying to read into what the hell he's thinking. He's hiding What do I do? I mean, there's I don't know how you could ever continue to a relationship with somebody like that truly like Even if let's say the dog was very sick and was dying and he thought that He was trying to do the dog a favor because the dog was in pain That is still so beyond not okay because she should be able to say goodbye She should she still is the one who should make the call and I just it like it's sickening and it's It's so messed up. And so yes, OP. I'm questioning why you're questioning That as well like I don't know why there's no excuse for it So whatever ration like like rationale that you come up with none of it excuses that that's No, and it's like I don't know What his reasoning is and also he brought the dog up there when OP like went to work like Where's the dog like how you know what I mean? Like it's like it was there was no text from him to be like Oh sticks he got out. I can't find him like there was no even faking it. It was like poof dog disappears like You look insane, sir You look insane you are insane to do this to a dog who? Seemingly is in okay health at 11. There's no mention of no mention of anything wrong with him Right, so it's like that's not your decision to make as as you said Lauren Right and even if the dog was in such a bad spot you should let the owner be able to say goodbye exactly In what world and then it just it's so cool Like it goes to this dog is impacting your life in a way You don't want in some way and so you're taking it into your own hands to dispose of this dog But they just dispose of it. Goodbye. I want to put you down because I don't want you you'd even drop it off Out of shelter you took him to a vet to be put down And then you didn't even stay to watch him get put down Yeah So now you're just a piece of shit and a fucking coward to leave a dog alone with a stranger But she saved the dog right she was able to yeah By some grace of God a friend worked at the vet clinic What are the chances? Like this was 80 kilometers away from where they live Is there any possibility that he was taking the dog there for a checkup and not to be put down? Is there I don't know any possibility that this other guy got it wrong Bob? I don't know so OP does reply to a couple comments someone goes well. That's terrifying Do you have a place a friends maybe where you and Stixie can stay for a bit while you get this sorted and by this? I mean your new living situation Because you really can't continue to live with the guy who just tried to kill your dog behind your back. Yep. Nope. That's so messed up OP goes thanks for the comment. I do at least two co-workers would be okay with me contacting them I want people around me when he comes back. I wish I could make sure he knows he's no longer welcome in this home Nor can he come back and he's to go immediately But I also know by bitter experience with a friend that kicking someone out of a dwelling they live in is a long process So OP also the same day when it posted in legal advice We do find out OP is located in Australia And is just trying to figure out if like what he did was illegal Are there any steps that OP can take to protect themselves when he returns tomorrow? Like OP is clearly trying to make sure like she can't come back and he stays away from me I don't know how that like could be legal people sue people for so much less I just don't know how that could even fly. I don't know especially like Who is this vet that's agreeing to this if they're not if his name's not registered to the dog How are you even like considering it for a second? I feel like though the vet honestly probably Made the decision to be like, okay, I'm gonna take this dog. But like I'm not actually gonna do anything I think that's why the dog is still alive versus like, okay, let's go back to a room Maybe the vet was like versus turn run some tests though and like turning the dog away back to an abusive home Yeah, it seems like the vet might have been kind of a saving grace in this one. I hope so That's what I'm gathering So OP kind of just explains the situation in legal advice and is just like Can I do anything? I what like what options do I have? My boyfriend doesn't know I know what he did nor that I have the dog back Just kind of asking like is this legal? What can I do? And someone goes not legal advice. Keep your dog somewhere else if he has access to him. Who knows what else will happen? um and someone else then responds and goes And then ask where the dog is and see how much he's going to lie about it. Yeah, which is what I would do Yeah, I would want to know Where's my dog? Yeah, I want like how what version of psycho are you? Yeah, yeah I wouldn't let on I would honestly Oh, it's just like such a tricky dynamic everyone should get their animal microchipped because If someone tries to pretend that your animal ran away while you were gone or something like That just gives you a security to yeah, you can get your horses microchipped nowadays too. Oh good. I know So we do have An update Edit and a quick update a night's sleep with good people around me helped I phoned a workmate to see if I could go stay there with sticksy and she came over for the night instead We spoke and we have a plan. Thank you for the links to nsw laws It looks like I might be in the clear with forcing my ex out. I'm a renter I'm the only name on the lease and we had no written agreement. Oh, yeah from my understanding He is a border or lodger and can be removed quickly. I'll have to clarify of course, but that gives me confidence I was freaking out because I didn't know where to start last night. Yeah, you can have the police remove him if his name's on Lease get him out of there. Yeah, my ex will be confronted with more people I know in the house backing me up Stixie is also in good health Wow, he's 11 and a bit too fat and slower than he used to be but he's fine These photos are from early november when we visited a property out of town He started life as a farm dog and going back made his day Unfortunately, the link doesn't work anymore Opie also goes to say he's not microchipped. I'm taking a personal leave day monday and getting him chipped first thing update two He came back He lied I was upset and looked at we gave him enough rope to make excuses after changing excuse First he was shocked. Stixie was gone and would help look for him Oh fucking asshole. Then he was shocked. Someone took him to a vet to be put down. Oh Then when confronted with proof it was him He claimed Stixie was hit by a car and he had to end his suffering When confronted with a live happy Stixie He turned it around and it ended with him telling me he should have had me put down Oh, you need to be in fucking jail Electric chair literally What what an absolute psychopath? He should i'm like i read that right right? He ended up with him telling me he should have had me put down I literally want To tie the sky up and punch him in the face For 24 hours straight. You're poor little knuckles. I would get so strong. It'd be great Oh, he goes on to say My co-worker and her partner and I told him he was not welcome in the house anymore And that they were moving in with me and then everyone in the house and the neighbor We both get on well with who saw him return on friday to take Stixie Now who knows what kind of person he is He left on his own accord and took some of his stuff I'm no closer to knowing for sure why he tried to do what he did Sorry for jamming up legal advice and this one. It wasn't much of a legal ending I mean honestly, he sounds like a serial killer. He does This is insane absolutely insane And then when faced with getting caught you continue to lie again and again and again And then you say I should have put you down. Yeah That's insane actually I feel like that's also like the the art of cheater responses too They'll just continue to change their lie And then until they they can't there's they're backed into a corner then they Like project and start saying mean names to the person that they cheated on It's so like despicable. It's just like you're peeling off the mask of their ugly Personality one by one until they finally reveal themselves. I know Justin and I just had a story in An episode that we recorded and it was this Person who was like my boyfriend initiates sex with me by taking off my glasses And the person goes on to say like I'm so uncomfortable He removes my glasses and then sometimes he'll make me beg for them to get them back and see I've told him I don't like it. I told him I feel vulnerable like all this stuff and then OP like Was just like can we please stop doing this like it doesn't make me feel good. I feel really vulnerable It feels like you're like almost using my disability against me in a way And op woke up the next morning glasses gone And he goes you want to know what it's really like to feel disabled Try now and had hid the glasses and broke them like snapped the little like arm off popped a lens out That's what I mean like perfect boyfriend up until that point years of dating And then to do that like gonna like switch to such a scary abuser I don't understand why people use animals as such like leverage or like Bargaining chips or like to hurt someone. It's like what is this innocent animal got to do with you and your problems in your relationship? And it's like if you don't like that this person has a dog or a cat go date someone else that doesn't have any pets I know truly there's so many people out there. Yeah I and that's the thing is like I feel like there's a lot of people who Just view pets very differently like that's what's so crazy is like A lot of people who are pet owners like That's their family. That's their Might as well be a human baby like that's how much they love that their pet And so if you're gonna partner with somebody who Doesn't at least respect that love that you have It shouldn't be a relationship and I know that some people are probably gonna disagree with that but like I really think that like if you have If this is something that's so important in your life Then your partner should be able to respect that and if they can't like even if they're not a huge animal lover like if they can't then they just shouldn't be together because But like clearly like it sounds like these two people from this story Maybe they were just trying to make it fit and they thought I don't like animals They're just a dog. It's fine and and then end up getting rid of Something that made their partner's heart sing. I know the happiest part of their life. Maybe like it's just I don't know What is it jealousy? Like I don't know. I just can't imagine doing this to anyone Like specifically someone you love. Yeah It's insane and like crazy. I I just don't understand it But that's that. Um Glad op got out got out safe Got her dog. Yeah getting a microchip a little sticky. I wish we would have seen a picture I'm like I want to see a picture of sticky. I wonder if someone else has like ever shared it But no, have you tried to find anything about stitch stitch stitch? Oh my god Stixie Holy malfunction Have you tried to google search anything with sticky dog reddit story the only thing that pops up is like lilo and stitch But okay moving on let's get into this really Weird one. Okay. This is one you found I haven't read it though. Have you read it the tick tock one? No, okay? So we're both going in blind Yeah, it was the title that got you This is coming from our very own two-hour take sub reddit one day old titled My husband made a secret tick tock account to post videos of me sleeping This is dot dot dot really embarrassing to even type I 32 female found out that my husband 34 male has been secretly filming me sleeping and posting it to tick tock under some Weird account name It started because my co-worker showed me a funny tick tock of a woman snoring and said it looked just like me My stomach dropped. Oh my god. It was me Wow in my own bed I confronted my husband and he admitted it's his account He said he started it as a joke because quote. You're so cute when you sleep and people love it I checked and the account has over 50 000 followers. Oh my god There are dozens of videos of me snoring tossing drooling Even one where my shirt has ridden up and you can see a part of my bra He claims it's harmless and that quote people post their spouses all the time I feel violated. Yeah, how do I even begin to process this? In court literally Yeah I'm curious too if she adds anything else about characteristics of this guy because you don't make a whole account Without someone knowing even If they're awake asleep That's so scary. I know it's like it's so scary Him doing it one time and posting it without her consent And then showing her the next morning and being like ha ha. I had no idea that this would like anyone would see it Just thought it was funny That even is a huge red flag But like at least he's telling her and at least it's like kind of like oh, I just thought this was funny and And then she can be like don't put that there xyz, but no it is it's completely violating it's It's a hundred percent of violation like you don't People need to consent to being recorded In the comfort of their own bed while they're sleeping. Yeah, and having it posted Regardless of it's your wife or not or you think it's cute like it's up to that other person And even if he did this without Sharing it It's creepy It's not okay. It's really weird Like I'm like, you know what I mean like even if he just had it like on his I feel like we've had a story about this before Well, it's like I think it's one thing to Like Justin sleep talks and I think it's the cutest thing in the world Especially if like he's really out of it. I can like kind of get him going and have conversations with him So then you show him so I'll record it and then I do show him I tell him about it, but I also wouldn't share it anywhere But like but my point is is that like and his face isn't in it like he's just it's dark and he's just talking Yeah, but like my point is that like even if like You but you show him right like you tell him about it Like you're like So it's like if you were to have like a whole album of like Justin sleeping and never mention it to him You would be such a creep like, you know, that's weird. Yeah, that's so weird. Yeah We okay. Actually now I remember we did have a story like that a long long time ago But it was actually like the one exception where she was like, okay, this is Really really messed up, but she was like I was doing a uh And I think she had like came with proof She was doing a project for school where it was like Monitoring like the sounds of snoring each night like based off of like oh my god. It was a guy It was a guy writing in that um He had discovered his girlfriend was recording him sleeping and it was yeah like a college project Yeah, exactly and she and I think she said that the reason she didn't want to tell him was like she didn't want him to Uh, I don't remember why actually maybe that one was weird too I think it was weird too. Okay. I'm trying to find it on my tht master stories doc That I have Yeah, but like I I'm like even even that like is yeah, even that's creepy and that's like for an actual reason for a school project So yeah, there's really no getting around this one. It's it's pretty bad pretty concerning Definitely breakup worthy. Um, do they say husband though husband? That's tough husband and the way she found out too to find out I know from your co-worker Yeah being like oh this looks like you and you're like That is me. Yeah in my bed I'm like, uh, I just uh I hate to like jump too quick to saying like Separate when they're married, but this is definitely it's very concerning. It is violating I if I'm playing devil's advocate, I could say maybe he just didn't realize the severity and just was Thought he was being goofy But like even so then he's a huge idiot and that's a huge red flag. So it's just It's not a lot of good options. How dumb you are Yeah, and I was gonna say like there are accounts that I've even seen where they post videos of themselves like doing weird stuff in their sleep like I think there's um A huge tick tocker who posts her sleepwalking videos and they're really entertaining right, but she's the one posting them Yeah, I mean consent is all the difference of everything. You know, yeah So we don't have any comments from op no update, but let's get into the top comment on this one Yeah, you're gonna want to go through his phone laptop and any online file storage. This is weirdo behavior Next comment if he's doing this with her sleeping You have to wonder if he has some private accounts of other things It just makes me worried that with this story There's more that what if there's more like what if something else is happening like because this is a violation Yeah, so what else is he doing? Yeah, and again, it's reminding me of like a real life thing where There was a woman in france recently that Took her husband to court because he was drugging her and letting other men Come to their house That is terrifying. It was so so bad and like that's kind of what everyone in the comments is getting into like When someone goes wait you sleeping your bra aside from it though, it's a huge trust violation coming from your supposedly Closest person it would be a deal breaker for me And then next comment right the bra thing aside lol who cares the bigger issue is the total lack of respect It's not just a funny video when someone you trust secretly records and post intimate moments While you're unconscious and for strangers to watch that's not cute. It's creepy Definitely feels like a deal breaker to me too. Yeah, and then next comment down. Yep after following the dominique pellicote case I would be very concerned. Look it up if you don't know. I don't know if I won't do I'm sure also. I'm sorry if I butchered her last name pellico pellicot You uh, you can discuss that with your other co-hosts on your other podcast. It is it is kind of a clues type case Oh, that's crazy Wow, wow, wow like that is such a fucking choice to make a really fucking bad one a commitment to do I'm just like I'm just like Yeah, a lot Okay, I'm along with people we need to get to this one because like I need something that's not so Heavy and this is crazy, but not like heavy Yeah, I honestly when I saw that title like I guess in my head I didn't even think of it as being heavy, but then as I started making the associations I was like this is actually like a really big red flag. Yeah, I mean You never know like a title can be deceiving and like maybe some of you out there are like no morgan It's not my first rodeo. I hear that title and I know where it's going Yeah, but like it peaks your interest to where you want to get into it and then once you really get the context you're like Oh Yeah, I mean it was more of the fact that I just didn't think that deep into it because you know, I was just skimming through titles So once we it's all good. It was a good story Don't don't don't feel bad about it. Okay. You're good You're good little doggy You're good I just don't want to be too heavy, you know, like It's all good. I got this next one for us and it's also a doozy, but like I think in a good way This episode is brought to you by state farm It can be tough to choose on your own Just like choosing a verdict for one of these reddit stories Well, state farm has options to choose from to help you find coverage that best fits your needs Talk to a state farm agent today to learn how you can choose to bundle and save with the personal price plan Like a good neighbor state farm is there prices are based on ratings plans that vary by state coverage options are selected by the customer Availability amount of discounts and savings and eligibility vary by state Cover those toes. Yeah Back in the hole Lauren's about to give you guys free feet pics. Yeah Okay, number three here It is titled girlfriend 27 female got a massive tattoo for me 31 male I've been with my girlfriend for almost a year I've always made sure she knew that I wanted to take things very slow And I didn't want anything too serious right now I've only been divorced for a year and I have primary custody of my kids two and four So they are and have always been my priority I can't stress how clear I was about keeping our relationship casual Anyways, I have a lot of tattoos. I won't pretend like they're all super meaningful But most of the bigger pieces are related to my hobbies friends family random shit. I'm into My girlfriend only had the tiniest tattoo on her ankle I was away last week doing the vagus bachelor party slash road trip thing And she texts me that she has a surprise for me and sends me a pick of the tattoo It is a tree that starts at where her ass meets leg Not sure the name for that and ending at the back of her neck What? The branches have shitty tattoos that are copies of many of my tattoos A few in particular pissed me off One is a copy of a tattoo. My buddies and I got done to commemorate a friend that died Another is very similar to one of mine that was inspired by a drawing my kid did I showed it to my friends and they all think she is fucking crazy. Well, yeah We wait from the like below her butt up to her neck So it's like all over her butt too All the way up. Whoa. I don't know how this tree branches. I don't I don't think I've ever seen a tattoo do that either on top of it If anyone has can you send me a photo? I don't even know what that would look like We can google to see okay Her explanation is just that she liked my tattoos So she wanted to get similar ones but in her own design and she did it to honor me She said she got it done for me She went to a shitty artist So it looks pretty bad and the design isn't too great in itself Which I think defeats the purpose of honoring someone and they mean literally nothing to her That's wild Between her copying my tattoos and having a genuinely shitty tattoo covering her entire backside I really don't find her sexy anymore. It is a huge mood killer She was my dream girl in bed. So without that there isn't much left. Oh I'm starting to consider just breaking up with her because what she did seems so insane On the other hand, we've been dating for almost a year and I'm really into her And now that she has this giant tattoo that's honoring me Breaking up would just suck opinions Um I mean she just needs to learn a hard lesson right now. So yeah, I think you should break up with her for her own good God Can you imagine like you get a full body tattoo Except it was this guy will be official. He'll he'll date you. Yeah, and then he breaks because of it After you just got a basically ass to neck tattoo Well, there's this phrase the the irony of that right like she's doing something to try to like Totally lock him in and it does the complete opposite. Yeah, and there's this phrase where it's like relationships are like holding Sand in the palm of your hand If you just let it sit and nurture then it doesn't go anywhere If you squeeze it it will fall in between your fingers and you'll lose it Okay, and so it just that's that phrase when I hear stuff like that. I always think about that like Don't squeeze too hard. You'll literally lose it. You just backf- I just backfired. Um You just backfired so much What I just backfired. Yeah, I did I just envisioned a car going. Did you hear like gurgled? um, but So anyway, um, yeah, I I feel bad for her but at the same time. I'm also worried about her mental health to think to do this without Speaking to this person and I don't know. Um, yeah, I also don't know what she was thinking because it's like You're you're taking very personal Tattoos that don't really have meaning to you and putting them on your body In honor of him, but like I I don't know why you couldn't deduce that maybe he wouldn't like that maybe he wouldn't like you copying him or Like why such a big grand gesture could have the opposite effect and like it's a lot of pressure I'm like a Catastrophizer so like when I think about decisions and making a choice. I like think about the worst-case scenario for each one Yeah, that's the way my brain works with a lot of stuff Can't predict everything unfortunately But but you you you at least like you're critical thinking about things you at least think about some of the consequences, right? And how did how did none of those cross her mind that she just thought he'd be so well? She like wasted when she did it. I mean no Also just wanted to point out one thing that he said that's also like was a red flag to me. Yeah, thank you He was like she's my dream girl in bed and without that we have nothing Oh, wait, did I did you say that am I hearing that right? Um That you should have been with her in the beginning if that's all you guys have and this is why Anyone out there if you're in a situation ship and you've been holding out hope that a person you've been seen for six months Is finally going to wake up one day and be with you after six months They're not going to And if you give them an ultimatum and if you like do a grand gesture that finally locks them in like I don't think still temporary. It's not for the right reasons and it's gonna end A lot of times in situations like cheating or it doesn't work out like yeah If someone wants to be with you, they will make it very clear from the start and I've I've got great examples like I I was obsessed with this guy that I met in minnesota He played hockey he would come there and train in the summer and then like was out here playing on like professional teams I would drive to san diego to go watch his games. I drove to san francisco to go watch his games Like I made so much effort to try to get this person to like See me. Mm-hmm. And no matter what I did no matter how much we had in common no matter how much chemistry we had it just like Didn't work meanwhile entered justin and It was the exact opposite like I had to beat that boy off with a stick Like he put so much effort. He was always following up He was always like asking me on thoughtful dates and he asked me to be his girlfriend within like two months Like sorry, I'm just laughing beat him off with a stick that could sound just all kinds of ways Hey, but anyway go on a good way It was just so different and like I think that's why it took me so long to like mentally like Shift with justin because I was like and I even I remember telling I think it was you or all haundra or someone to be like Is this what it is like when someone actually likes you? Yeah, because it was like truly it was such a shift in effort and It's just it's so different. So with this guy. He's like I've made it crystal clear. I want nothing but casual Yeah, but at the same time you've been dating this person for a year. Yeah after a year It stops being casual. Yeah, so they're both at fault Heard just a little more dramatically. Yeah, so I found some images of tattoos just to kind of give us an idea This is one That goes just kind of like lower back Up to the back of the neck. I mean I've seen that I just haven't seen one that goes underneath the butt cheek Like because then you have the curvature So I'm like, yeah, how are we staying consistent? I can't find any good Ass tats, but like I could imagine this one this next image I pulled up is a like cherry blossom tree And the tattoo goes from kind of left shoulder down across the back and ends on the right flank I'm using a horse term flank um oblique It's a horse body part Slank it's like it's it would be never mind never mind So I could envision like the tree kind of like wrapping down and then kind of keeping the same continuation Under the butt. Yeah, think about like cheeky shorts like where a little a little cheek pops out You'd see the tat under the cheeky shorts. Yeah Either way It's a lot it is way too big of a commitment to make to someone that You've been casually seen for a year. That's that's for sure And yeah, it kind of reminds me of the wrong missy just like What what's that the movie of the wrong missy? It's so funny. Oh my god. You got to watch it. I think you would love it It's so ridiculous. It's it's fantastic. Okay um but yeah, pretty crazy energy so I don't necessarily think this is a relationship that should know Continue on like specifically the way that he like speaks on about her too. Exactly. Yeah, it's like do her a favor Do her a favor. Yeah, you've been using her right and I think that's Clear. He's been using her. He's been having his cake and eating it too by being like, well, I don't want anything serious I only want casual but like hey You're the dream girl in bed. Yeah, he got to have his cake and eat it too. Yeah Truly you guys like don't waste your time on people that You like them way more than they like you So, you know, I was actually talking to a friend about this because I do think bass off like specifically what you were saying too You know, I don't think it's out of the ordinary for Girls to maybe go from one relationship where they feel like they're chasing And trying to prove themselves To dating someone who is chasing them and then not being interested and I think that the psychology behind that is that You're chasing a guy and trying to prove yourself And so it's almost like a like a human instinct that we start like playing a game in our own head like being like Oh, if this guy who's hard to get likes me that will prove that I'm valuable that I'm more valuable that I'm worthy And then if you meet someone who likes you instantly then it's like, oh, that doesn't give me the challenge to prove that I'm worthy So I don't know if I'm interested in him. Like I feel like it's almost this like mental like mind fuck in a way that happens More common than we would think absolutely and I think our brain chemistry also Kind of traps us in that for guys guys Love hormone is secreted when they're stressed So if a guy is like in this relationship, that's very like maybe toxic or stressful The love hormone gets secreted for guys It can happen for women as well, but like I think Oh, I'm really butchering this Regardless of like what it is like if you have these insane highs You're gonna have like oxytocin. You're gonna have dopamine. You can get dopamine from plain candy crush So that's why like a lot of psychologists if you you know follow any or if you listen to like couples counselors talk It's like butterflies and getting butterflies Might be good early on but it's not good sustainably like you shouldn't have that anxiety forever And so they talk about that where it's like a good healthy relationship isn't highs and lows It's not this like fireworks all the time. It's actually just feeling comfortable and safe. Yeah, and our brains can really Resist it sometimes resist it and send us down the wrong path And which is so interesting because we all like feel like rationally This is what we want. We want like a safe wonderful stable relationship But then it's like when you get to that dating stage It's like why are we why are we fleeing the scene when it feels like that? What's happening? Why is why are people not jumping into that relationship when it looks like all green flags? And I just exactly that I just think there's a lot of like psychology and chemists and like actual chemistry involved. I mean, yeah, our brains are little like chemistry machines I saw a quote the other day too that like really fits with this And if you're thinking about like breaking up with someone who you love so much like you can't imagine Not being with them, but like at the same time, you know, they're not right. You know, they don't make you feel good there's a quote that says Imagine how much you can love the right person for you if you love the wrong one this much And it's like you have so much love to give so much and Imagine just imagine if you if that's reciprocated equally or if it's truly someone that's healthy and good for you, right? You know, it's so funny too like going off of that I actually had such a hard time with a breakup with a relationship that I felt was the wrong relationship for me that it was bad For me and and so I was like, why am I struggling so much with this breakup? And and I said to a friend if I struggled this much with a relationship that I knew was wrong for me How am I going to be if a relationship ends that was a healthy relationship? and the friend was like You'll be much better because you'll be whole and if you're in a healthy relationship The split will you'll feel yourself when you're in an unhealthy relationship It hurts so bad because part of you was ripped apart But you weren't your full self when you were in that relationship Like now you're you're broken. You're not your whole and so that's why it hurts so much And I just I just think about that From time to time because it's something I had never thought until they said that but yeah I think we will associate like oh this relationship hurt me so badly That it must be I should go back to it. I had so much passion for that relationship But it's because that person wasn't good for you and you weren't your full version of yourself that you were like clawing at them to make you full But anyway, uh, it was just a concept that I that stuck out to me And I just think that if you're somebody who is Reflecting on relationships and thinking that you loved somebody more because the breakup hurt more really reflect on if it's just because Of how chaotic it felt to be in an unhealthy relationship or if it's really like that person Yeah, I know our brains are are really crazy with what They'll make these unhealthy relationships feel like in our minds. Yeah, and I'm like I'm Haven't had a neuroscience class in so so long, but there's a variety of these neurotransmitters that like It can almost Mimic an addiction. Yeah, that's what's so crazy It can make your brain feel the same way that like an addiction does like toxic relationships can so absolutely It's just it's wild, but We have some comments for this one A lot of people are just like She is crazy that is so completely insane I would run run far If she got a tattoo to commemorate something special between you two meh, but to copy your tattoos That shit crazy and ones that were so personal to a life before her OP responds I haven't explained what they all mean to her so she might not know that the one tattoo is commemorating my friend But still it's pretty crazy, right? And yeah, like if she doesn't even know that a tattoo has this meaning of like this is for my friend that passed But she chooses to get it Yeah, that's really weird. Yeah. I mean, what if the tattoo was referring to His sex life with a past partner and she got that on her like how silly would that be? Oh my god, you know like that's ridiculous Especially for someone if she was like a tattoo fanatic, I'd be like, yeah, whatever. Some people just don't look at it that way She didn't even have tattoos before she had a little anklet tattoo like that. No. Yeah, that's We got to get some help in on that on that one. Well We have an update. Oh First post was removed But it was about how my girlfriend got a tattoo of a tree and on the branches were copies of some of my tattoos A couple that were very personal memorial piece for a friend and drawn by my kid I thought I had been very clear about not wanting anything serious Quick update. We broke up I tried to stick it out, but the tattoo was too much of a turnoff and I just didn't find her attractive anymore Which is the opposite of what she had intended with it The breakup went about as expected. She completely lost it and yes She was mad because she thought it would lead to something more serious eventually my artist agreed to Finish the piece for her and he will cover up the bits that match my tattoos It should be very easy since there wasn't any shading done yet I'm glad she agreed to see him because now her tattoo has a chance of looking decent And I can be certain that it will be properly covered up I tried to get her to explain to me why she thought it was a good idea But all she kept saying was that she truly believed that I would like it And she thought it would help move our relationship to the next level I told her that she should see a therapist and she told me to fuck off So there you have it I mean I'm really curious. I wish I had a voice note of how you said it because like You should see a therapist. Yeah, you can't really say that to people Not a situation like this. Like yeah, I think it I think that implied it can come off very offensive If you don't say it correctly Yeah Yeah, you got to be delicate if you actually really are saying that with the good of your heart Exactly But moving along I just I'm like actually now kind of laughing at the idea like if somebody were to be like, hey loren I'm gonna break up with you and uh, you should seek therapy. I would be like I'll go go fuck yourself. Yeah I mean like when someone throws it in your face like that It's not well, it's not going to be well received and it feels like a dig where it's like You're just kind of degrading me in a moment where I'm already getting shitted on like you're you're breaking up with me Which yeah, I rightfully so I realized what I did was wrong And it was a bit much came on too strong too fast too soon whatever Yeah, but also like you don't need to throw it in my face like I I think I kind of uh can read between the lines here I uh, maybe not maybe not. Yeah, not everyone can Yeah, I mean maybe now that you guys are broken up maybe let uh One of her friends or family members suggest that but um, yeah I I mean, I wasn't a big fan of op in general. So no it's it's It's written. I do I do like that op says that he is a good dad That's always a plus but Yeah, maybe just like don't date right now and focus on Being a good dad and that and that's that if you want something actually casual Make it actually casually literally don't string someone along. Yeah But okay moving along Okay, now it is time for a very special segment this episode. I don't even know I know I'm surprised in you I'm really excited for this. Oh my god. It's gonna be a test of how well we know each other. Oh I know okay I'm so scared. I'm really it's gonna be good So we have a new segment It's a freakier take which is sponsored by disney's freakier friday. Oh my god. You guys i'm freaking out I was oh my god I was in the movie theater the other day and the ad for it came or the trailer came on and I literally was like I was losing my mind. I I almost watched that movie the other day because I was just thinking like freaky friday. It just slaps. It's so Good and I can't believe that they have the same cast. I'm literally gonna throw up thinking about it. I'm so happy As you mentioned lauren same cast jamie lee curtis and lindsay lohan are back You're forgetting about chad and this time the whole family is switching Is wilder weirder and more heartwarming than ever so in the spirit of total chaos We found a thread that is giving major freakier friday energy Loving this and let me explain why So this next one lauren We are going to be swapping places in our takes. Oh my god. I get to be you And you get to be me. I can't believe you have a freaky friday ad. That's such a Okay, so this one is titled am I wrong for telling my mom she can't tell everyone i'm pregnant I'm 17 weeks pregnant and my mom wants to tell everybody I told her no For some context, I don't care if people know but my mom has always been the type to tell all of my business to everyone When I first got pregnant, I asked her not to tell anyone yet because it was just too early I went to church and she had told everyone already She has always been the type of person to tell everyone about me even the things which are obviously personal to me She is not good at boundaries in any way Even when I repeat them to the point where I have to dismiss myself from conversations My main goal is to get her to understand my boundaries And one of them is that I do not like people to know everything about me, especially things. I'm not comfortable sharing There are things I do tell my mom that it's okay to share But this is one of the things I told her i'm not comfortable with yet Also to add she talks to several people who i'm not big fans of They overstep boundaries also and are not respectful to her or I So am I wrong? No, how would I respond Lauren? Um If I were morgan I would answer this kind of in a pragmatic way where it's just You are your own person your mom's your own person You're definitely not wrong There needs to be boundaries and sometimes family members push those boundaries Um, but if this were a friend You would probably cut the friend off and stop telling them things And you need to kind of enforce those boundaries with your mom because it's It's not The way that you want to live your life You you are two separate people and it sounds like your mom is looking at you as an extension of herself and feeling Very confident and comfortable sharing your information as if it's her own to share And that needs to change Okay, well, I don't even know if I would have been that good That's really good Lauren I totally would have said information diet like I feel like I would have totally said that too I would have been like you need to put your mom on a little bit of an information diet I was really good. Okay. The bar is set high Okay, if I were Lauren Lauren always comes from such a empathetic well thought out place in her takes And you really do like to give people the benefit of the doubt. So I would say this Did your mom cross a boundary? Yes. Is it okay? No, and you definitely need to just Choose you and what's best for your mental health and your pregnancy Because you are doing such a big Amazing thing right now of like growing this little human inside of you But at the same time, you know, maybe your mom just got way too excited and kind of lost herself in this news Especially if this is her first grandbaby so You know, is it okay? No Going forward. I think try not to share as much with her But you know, maybe a little bit more grace in this one and just focus on you and the baby and just enjoying the rest of your pregnancy forget the haters softy What would you say what would you have anything to add? No, that was pretty good I just think that there was a couple things that you um, you were a little A little too nice. Oh, but I do have moments like that. You like it. You like it devils have to catch up time and time Sometimes I do with stories Get a little bit in the weeds of let's like look at it and flip it around and see it from a different perspective So I definitely there was things you were saying that I heard in me And and then there was and then there was moments where I'm like, I'm like, no, no, no I'm like Turn it up a little bit. Go ahead. Go ahead. Turn it up a little bit. But no, that was pretty good Okay, thank you. What else do you have to add? How do you want to turn it up? I'll just I'll add some of what a what a I said for you Oh my god, I love it that honestly that gave me so much stress trying to be in your shoes, right? That was so stressful. Yeah Okay, guys If that gave you secondhand stress imagine going through it in your mom's body Imagine a fight you've had with your mom recently imagine flipping places. Oh god No, yeah But hey perfect summer event for the whole family disney's freak your friday hits theaters august 8 get your tickets now rated PG If I switch with my mom would I also have her like mental strength I think no, no, it's just her body. Okay I'm gonna have to like have her problems because everyone thinks you're your mom. Yeah, okay I think it'd be fun to switch to my mom for a day just hang out with all of her friends and Yeah, your mom goes cold plunging. She just like has like these crazy adventures. Yeah, she has a good time with a bunch of good people around her so It wouldn't be bad. I could say the same thing. My mom is just like a little go-getter hard-working driven just A free spirit a little out there. Yeah, we drive each other crazy Kind of like these two in this movie But I hope you guys enjoyed that It was fun. I'm very very excited about this movie coming out. Me too. We can go see it together. I'm down We can do a little date night. What's the date? Hits theaters august 8. Oh my god. Yes August 8. I get so sad when I learn about movies like a year in advance No, this one's just around the corner for us. So happy august 8 Okay, moving along to our next one Okay, this next one is coming from r slash relationship advice At the time I found it It was only 17 minutes old and I don't want to refresh it to find out what it is now In case it's gone. Oh god. Yeah, because it seems like it's gonna be really good I've only read the title and based on that I'm like It's definitely a choice. Okay. So this one is titled is it unhealthy that me 21 female and my partner 21 male spar when we're angry Spar It's like fake fight if you're trained in like karate or taekwondo Jiu-jitsu like when you fight Speaking of Lindsay loin, I uh just watched parent trap the other day and what I was picturing was them fencing That could be sparring that would be kind of an awesome way to Handle an argument with a partner. Let's find out some more fencing The title basically says it but my boyfriend and I when we get into argument put on gear and spar it out Wow, we are both into martial arts gym and hotheads We are the type to release stress through physical activity like the gym sex, etc Lately we've been getting through some major growing pains and verbal arguments have ensued a few months ago We got into a really bad argument Which resulted in both of us going to the gym and hitting the bag I punched it until my knuckles almost bled. Oh, I was so upset Not necessarily at him, but more at myself for how I dealt with the situation After that, he asked me if it would make me feel better to try and hit him So we began sparring At first it was mostly me just putting on gloves Trying to hit him and he just practiced dodging He's nearly a foot taller than me. I'm petite and quite light. So it's virtually impossible for me to hurt him Over the course of the few months We have evolved it into full on matches in our living room until one of us calls it quits When he hits me, he usually purposefully lets up a bit and doesn't hit me with full force Of course, we do it in full gear pads, gloves, etc. So no one gets hurt It's fun. We flirt while we do it. It's not unrelenting rage But more like I'm going to wipe that stupid smirk off your face if it's the last thing I do today By the time one of us is on the floor, we are so physically exhausted. We cannot possibly argue anymore We don't resolve all arguments like this Maybe 10 to 15 percent And we both ask if the other is interested before engaging Quote I literally feel like screaming at you. Can we go at it a bit? A couple of my friends think it's really bad that we are essentially resolving arguments by hitting each other Borderline abuse to them Is this just going to lead into physical abuse or is this just an unconventional but not bad way of dealing with anger? um Okay This is a new one This is a very unique problem just when I started to wonder if We were just going to get repeat stories at this point. No, we're there's there's always something out there I'm going to go with stop doing that Option a stop. Yeah I get the logic behind it. Like I don't think you guys are crazy for testing this out specifically with the background of the this is what you guys do in general To release stress. It's how you work out And so I get how that kind of you guys fell into trying that out But like that's you're treading a very dangerous line and it feels like a very Dangerous territory And I just think that there's a lot of room for a mistake to happen there When you start having a muscle memory of throwing your fists at the person you're dating because You you're upset with them. Like that is building something that I just don't think should be A go-to I agree and we've talked so much about brain chemistry like I'm sure maybe a neuroscientist in our community could chime in and be like Even from a neurosanpoint like that is just like Confirming these like Muscle memory but also these like pathways these neural pathways in the brain that like this is how you solve conflict is through fighting this high adrenaline Crazy heightened thing versus like we're going to be rational calm and use our words like yeah It doesn't seem super healthy Especially given that it's not in the gym. Yeah, it's not exactly. I don't like that living room stuff going to the gym Putting on their equipment being in a place that is mats padded Safe and witnesses and other people. Yeah, you're doing this in your home Would you like push all the furniture and then you're like let's fucking go And also like the whole like I'm gonna wipe that smirk off your face like That doesn't even sound healthy. That's not a good example. I didn't like that. Yeah, and that's really bad Yeah, that was like used as if it was supposed to lighten it up. No Like Like you're you want to punish your partner in this fight? And make them like submit To you like oh tap out we go until one of us taps out It's likely you he's bigger than you. Yeah, well exactly I mean, I'm like if it was like two people that were the same size Like maybe maybe a little less Concerning but still pretty equally as concerning. Yeah But the fact that you guys are also like on such a different Level of strength and that one could really hurt the other one more than the other. Yeah It's just not a good idea guys. This is unhinged to me. Yeah And I'm curious like if anyone out there has ever like play wrestled with their partner Like I feel like at least once in your life you might have tried that or like you try to tickle your partner And then they kind of like ah, no don't tickle me Like there's that But it also feels like these two are very trained in martial arts and they're using this skill and this like I know like some people might laugh when I say weapon But like if you get to a certain level in martial arts, like you are a weapon 100% And it's like you're using this against your partner And also, how are you solving the argument? You're not even like working through the problem. You're just kicking each other's ass Exactly. You're just getting out energy And you're not even solving the problem I'm so bewildered. Yeah Um, so there are only at this point in time Three comments on this post It's two days old now. I did refresh. Okay. I was gonna it's still there Um top comment whatever floats your boat if it helps in your relationship. Who are we to say it's wrong me? I mean I am next comment. I am intrigued by this approach I think if you have rules around it both have to consent using gear having a safe word to indicate It's time to stop. I can't see a problem with it to be honest. It sounds kind of refreshing Whatever guys Last but not least comment Wow, I never heard of someone doing this with their partner and crazy's thing that it's actually working to my god lol, okay, but how is it working because you guys keep fighting even like take away the actual Physical aspect of it It sounds like you guys are getting into arguments a lot and so even that in itself You should take a beat and be like Wait, where are we going so wrong that we've literally feel like we have to get in physical altercations safely this often And then and then almost it's like are you guys going to start training yourselves? If you like that are you gonna start training yourselves to get an argument so that you guys can fight it out? Oh my god Oh, I don't know. I just don't where does it stop where does it? Yeah, what's the line and and like I mean sure with these comments It's like yeah If you guys genuinely are staying safe if it floats your boat if that's what makes you guys happy like Whatever do you guys but like I think again that it's you're asking the question And my honest opinion is that you you're like treading dangerous water. I think so Is that a phrase treading dangerous water? I feel like it is let's make it if it's not Taking a note from my book. We're still in the swapped mode. Yeah I I feel like this isn't a bad thing necessarily either to do as a couple But again in the gym and like hey friday nights date night. Let's go spar Like it could turn them on it could be fun for them, but like using it to solve a relationship problem Seems counterintuitive. Yeah I need a relationship therapist like is this normal and we just don't understand the fight scene like our What happens in fight club stays in fight club? Like are we just not Equipped is this out of our depth? I mean so clearly but like you know I just I think that if they were to keep it in the gym I would be a little more open to the idea, but like I don't your neighbors are gonna call the police on you guys Oh, yeah, I was wondering about that. Can you imagine like Here we're literally sitting in the studio recording and someone above us is like walking and the floors are so creaky But can you imagine all of a sudden above us? You just hear like Bam bam and like the lights are rocking and it's like What are they doing up there like? That's brutal to put your neighbors through Yeah, I yeah, I just and I just think that like what if it gets to be a really bad fight? And like he loses himself in it and like makes a mistake accidentally Tries to punch air and punches your face Cops get called because it's really loud The cops see that your partner has a black eye and busted face And and you guys and she has to be like no it was an accident. Oh, okay. He's going to jail Like, you know what he mean? Yeah, they are running that risk. It's just like I don't know I just don't I don't like the setup of it at all But again, if you guys are happy with it Sure, but like if you're asking my honest opinion, I'm not gonna recommend it. No Uh, we don't have any comments or updates from op This account however is five years old. It is a part of the five-year club has a verified email Um has unlocked quite a few different reddit achievements So It's giving Real yeah Unfortunately, yeah Because I'm like this is just exhausting and that's the other thing about this. This is so it just sounds exhausting But I'm not into fighting so I'm not I don't know. I'm not the target solve relationship conflicts through fighting audience, I guess Won't be me. I feel you Okay, moving on to this next one This is coming from am I the asshole? It is titled am I the asshole for telling my father-in-law? He can't hump the floor at my house or in my presence Crazy title and I wish it wasn't true, but here we are Unfortunately, I'm asking because I'm possibly in a state of being gaslit Or I actually can't take a joke and I can't see it My father-in-law late 50s is known for being very playful goofy. Some would even say Well him my mother-in-law late 50s and three sibling-in-laws 20 male 27 male 28 female came to stay with my husband and I at our house 28 female 30 male and I to see our new baby seven months We put the little one to bed and we were all in the living room area hanging out doing stretches Just casually talking when father-in-law decided it would be a funny time to start humping the ground out of nowhere And unfortunately, it was directly in front of me Not mother-in-law Mother-in-law and I looked at each other in shock while his children all laughed and chuckled Father-in-law made it clear that the gesture was meant for his wife Despite it being directly in front of me With eye contact Ew, so we dropped it The night passed they left town and after a few days of not being able to shake the image in my head I decided to talk with my husband about how uncomfortable it made me Along with other sexual jokes. He makes about all of us being married, etc There's been this big divide now on how I'm always ruining the fun How it was just a joke and not a sexual gesture And how I'll always find a problem when my husband's family is in town His family thinks this however when I speak with my mom sister cousins and anyone on my side of the world They see his jokes and gesture as totally inappropriate My father-in-law tried to make the point that I've done tick-tock dances in his home With the other siblings in law and my husband and he's never felt uncomfortable because he knows they're harmless And that it's not fair for me to judge him about this versus knowing his intent Which was just to make it a joke My point is even though i'm not on tick-tock and don't post videos Everything I've done is postable Him stroking the ground is not My husband got mad at me for not seeing it as a joke And so did the other married siblings who were in the room that were raised by father-in-law So am I the asshole for saying that my father-in-law humping the floor in my home and presents made me uncomfortable And drawing that boundary I genuinely would appreciate feedback because I plan to have another conversation soon And I want to know that i'm coming into the conversation grounded in reality I mean my first thought is no, you're not the asshole. That's so weird and the eye contact like No, that's so messed up. Humping the ground. I like so how are we humping? That's exactly one that actually that will change things for me because if he's just doing like the warm Like let's say he's doing the worm and she thinks that's humping Oh my god that thought like i'm envisioning only sexual humping motions Yes, but if she if he's actually doing the worm right and calling it humping, right? Oh my god, we need to know I know that's what i'm saying because at first I was like this is a no-brainer But then I was like, well, what's her definition of humping? Like is he because if if the entire rest of his family is like not even phased by it then it's like You know is he really actually humping or is he trying to do a dance move? Because he's comparing it to her having dance moves that are like quote-unquote sexual and so oh my god I wonder if it was actually the worm Oh my gosh, okay. We'll see if we have any comments from op I was fully envisioning like dog humping That's like the only thing that came to mind for me And then I'm like if he's making eye contact with her and like pretending like he's a little dog humping a pillow or like You know what I mean? Oh god. Yeah, like that's what I'm envisioning like And he's looking at her Yeah, but it's meant for his wife even though he's looking at her like yeah If my father-in-law ever I was picturing like a push-up But in position and then like banging like a pump. Yeah like a missionary pump. Yeah, okay I Also for some reason had the little image of like a chihuahua humping a leg Okay And I was like if he went up and was like anywhere near her leg then like game over But like the context of the hump definitely matters. Yes, I agree. Oh my god. Okay I am like beyond Curious. Yeah, so this is somewhat recently this post is only a month old Top comment on it Can your husband explain the joke to you and his mother can father-in-law? Because I don't get it either just straight up gross OP responds This is a good point and I'm wondering if I should actually ask to see what the response is Next comment down exactly say you don't get it. Ask him to explain why it's funny Embedding his answer if he manages to come up with one will be it just is your response to that should be quote But why is it? I just don't get it. Keep asking Next comment as a person who loves comedy and hates bad comedy. This is the way This is my normal go-to when people say racist or sexist jokes to me usually leaves them stammering And we've talked about that quite a bit on past episodes Like if you ever get anyone kind of saying an inappropriate joke to you just be like I don't get it Like what what can you explain that? I want to I want to laugh with you like explain your joke The next comment I see that's like very awarded yellow box says this And then the next time you're at dinner with a non-family or friend bring it up. Oh, honey You have to tell them about that hilarious thing your dad did and then make him explain it That way a third non-biased party can explain that it's inappropriate and not normal Or he just won't do it because he absolutely knows it's not normal And is just excusing his shitty creepy-ass behavior to not rock the boat I don't think that would work because he already knows how she feels about it They've gotten an argument over it and so if she were to say that in a group of people he would be like Okay, like drop it. Like can you knock it off? You know what I mean like Oh, honey say that hilarious thing. You know what I mean? He'd be like, can you not with that like sarcasm? So I actually don't feel like that would like get like a genuine Yeah, yeah, no and like to be quite clear everyone like not the asshole Extremely weird inappropriate, especially given the eye contact. Yeah, which as you're asking them to explain that joke Ask them And why did you make eye contact with with me? Yeah, and not your way Why were you humping the ground? Looking at me. Yeah No, like if it's the way that she's describing it. It's It's really really inappropriate But I the only thing that's tripping me up is the fact that the whole family doesn't That there's no one from the family. That's just like, yeah, he does that all the time. It pisses me off too There's a comment here Not the asshole your in-laws are weird for enabling this behavior Your husband is weird for getting upset. You didn't get the joke. What the fuck his father made you uncomfortable I'd be sick to my stomach if I saw my father-in-law do that And your husband's reaction is to get upset with you instead of address it with his dad gross all around gross And I would say like that is a huge issue in this your husband Not siding with you Gaslighting you yeah Because at the end of the day if it was meant to be a joke Okay, let's pretend. I don't think so But you're telling your husband I feel really uncomfortable by that your dad made me feel uncomfortable Can we please have a boundary where there's no humping on the ground again in front of me especially? I just don't want to feel that uncomfortable again. And instead of your husband being like, I'm sorry. You feel uncomfortable I'll make sure I talk to my dad totally hear you It's no you're wrong It's a joke. It's funny. You're the problem. You always ruin Every time my family comes over you always ruin the vibe You always did say that didn't find a reason to be pissed about something. Yeah, that really irked me and I want to bring that up in the post The line here I'm always ruining the fun how it was just a joke and not sexual And how I'll always find a problem when my husband's family is in town. Okay, so they're saying it wasn't sexual That makes that's what makes me think that like is it the worm? I need to know this. I just need to know. Okay, so let's look at comments Because how is humping not sexual and unless it was genuinely like a dance move I'm literally so I'm loading all the comments and I'm going to search the word worm. There are so many comments from op Um looking like a real account op is a part of the one-year club on reddit so it's looking real A post on the account from two years ago is titled am I the asshole for telling my husband? It's time to cut ties with his childhood best friend so hmm kind of seeming like issues pop up with hubby and like communication and maybe bad influences and inappropriate behavior Okay, there is no word worm found so op has not Responded to clarify that this is definitely not the worm With that being said, I'm gonna assume it's it is humping There's so many comments from op. I feel like maybe no one's asking the question though Maybe I'll send a chat But it's like I I I would think a grown person knows the difference between the worm and humping hmm Not everyone. Well also like, you know the magic mic move. Yeah, that's kind of a version of the worm Yeah, it's like a humping worm. It's like a it's like a missionary pump, but a worm. Yeah Yeah, Hannah burners does such a good worm Hannah burners is not sexual So I'm like I almost want to send her a clip of Hannah and be like was it this or was it magic mic version? Yeah But like at this at the same time, I think I don't if she's posting that In her own reddit account that she's making him cut off A relationship with his childhood friend. I'm starting to feel like you really shouldn't be in relationships where you're like alienating somebody from all of the people that they're with because it I get I totally get what boat you're going on. Yeah, it's it's like then they're probably not your person too and if you have to tell them to continue to Cut out people from their life And and give them ultimatums You know not even just helping them support like to support them creating healthy boundaries with everyone But if you're like no, he needs to cut this person off No, he needs to like You know his family like all this stuff then it's just like maybe you guys aren't a match to be honest Well, okay, so that one comment I read Not the asshole your in-laws are weird for enabling this behavior. Your husband's also weird. Oh, pita's respond to that I agree That the whole family is weird husband included. It definitely has made me wonder if something happened in the home That makes it seem normal Yeah, someone responds. Why did you have a baby with someone before you examined these questions? Yeah, opi goes This is my favorite question because Never in a million years What I thought I needed to ask does your dad hump floors and is this funny to you? Never I'm just as shocked Truthfully what makes this even worse is that we're a very religious community. He's an elder Deacon in the church where all churchgoers worship leaders musicians all the things So I had absolutely no reason to think this would have ever come up until it did Yeah, no, I mean I get that there's I mean you can think you know someone Through and through and then you know, they can end up not even being attracted to your um gender You know like you know, I mean like shit happens like it's I get that But where where we're at right now is like it sounds like you you don't really respect your husband and his family And it sounds like he doesn't really respect you and your values and your boundaries Of you know and in your own home You guys can't agree on what you know boundaries you want to set about your own home Like he should have just been like, you know, it's a joke that my dad does Um, but if you feel uncomfortable with it in our house, like I can set that boundary with him I I can't force him to change and act a certain way So if we're in their home and he does it I I can't like force him not to do whatever but like in our home I can tell him he's going to be kicked out if he does that I can set that boundary You know, and I think it just shows that they're not a united front They both uh think each other are weird and don't respect each other So it's it's just one of those things where it's like whether the dad was doing the worm or whether the dad was humping And there's like a lot more to that that's questionable It's just starting to sound like you guys might not be as compatible as you might have thought So maybe look into that and not focus so much on the dad's action, but what what you guys are Um, because that's where the real, you know, that's what matters. That's where the real Issue or non-issue exists. So figure that out and then discuss the worm or sorry the humping It's probably I'm it's humping I don't know why I want it to be the worm I just like it like I just want like one glimmer of hope today. Yeah, but you know all these stories Yeah, just let it be the worm I also don't want this to come across like oh, we're invalidating her experience or we're we're doubting her story It's just like I'm just genuinely curious. I believe her But like I'm just I'm curious well I mean she's asking she's like telling me the truth and then she starts it off being like be honest with me Am I being like Over the top with this or do you think I'm in the right? No my point on saying this is that she's she's genuinely asking a question If she were to write in and be like i'm traumatized. I feel Violated I'm seeking emotional support then my answer would be so different But like she's coming in here being like guys. Can you help me out here? Am I the asshole? Yeah, am I the asshole for thinking this is not a joke and so no and it would be one of those things where it's like info Yeah info Are you sure this wasn't the worm? If not the worm? No, this is fucked up. Yeah, that's my Spark now. It's there you go. Tildia. There you go. Yeah, sorry interrupted. No, no, it's fine I mean and some people might think like you said magic mic like humping worm It's like some people might also think that the view the worm on the same Same category so they don't care about the differentiation. You know what I mean? So like it your feelings your experience it is what it is if you feel uncomfortable about it You you don't need us to tell you if it's okay or not You feel uncomfortable and that's the end of the story mic drop right there loran Yeah, and if you and your husband can't get on the same page with it or setting some type of boundary Making sure you both feel comfortable then like you guys got to look into like what what you're what you're doing in your relationship Holds. Yeah, and I'm not saying like jump to you know divorce, but like that's that's where the problem lies like it's it's You guys got to figure that out well We have an update we have an update So you guys like last time we recorded we have no updates last time Yeah, there was no updates and so I keep getting Like code switching and I just think that we're kind of wrapping it up. So sometimes I Ramble on a little bit more than usual And then when you say update I feel bad that I rambled so long, but let's go. Let's go All caps all aboard for the hot mess express Firstly, thank you to all the responses I genuinely appreciate the kind blunt informative funny and not so nice comments because truly I was looking for all perspectives Yeah It felt reassuring to see that the majority not all of you felt like it was in fact an appropriate gross weird Sick and especially having folks that aren't like me religious jokesters etc Still see the behavior as not the best. This is a 24 hour update So the reason I followed up with my father-in-law and mother-in-law wasn't because my father-in-law never apologized he did Reluctantly, but he did I followed up with them because of one particular event that happened on the first phone call when my husband Yes, although mad at me told them that I was uncomfortable My father-in-law's immediate response to my husband and I saying that I was uncomfortable Was that he father-in-law was uncomfortable with the fact that I was uncomfortable And that this all made him feel bad because it's not fair that I was uncomfortable He apologized and truly it could have stopped right there Because he's truly entitled to his feelings But it didn't stop there It got back to me that he was telling the other-in-laws siblings How I couldn't have fun. I ruined the fun when they're around He's uncomfortable because I'm looking at him like that and that it hurts because I don't know him better Etc etc etc etc Stuff came back up about the tiktok dances and how there was room for interpretation regarding them being inappropriate Let me clear one thing up Imagine dances like milley rock shoot duggy 2000s hip-hop Imagine church dances that you see in african-american culture since we're religious like shouting praising That there was no twerking jiving or gyrating. There were maybe six max eight videos And half of them were religious oriented nothing seductive fully clothed very Appropriate and actually there hasn't been a video of me dancing nor have I danced there in maybe the last two to three years So let's just place that there Okay, him feeling upset wasn't a problem It was the talking to the in-laws and word getting back to me and me being questioned about Why I can't just enjoy the moments and the jokes. It was the quote Why can't you be happy around them? I explained that our beliefs and values don't align to my brother-in-law Which is who came to me, but for me this meant one thing clearly I can't say quote. I'm uncomfortable and that's simply be received All the side talk brother-in-law confirmed showed me one thing There clearly was tension and ill things being spoken So my husband suggested I speak with my in-laws versus immediately separating myself. Maybe there was a misunderstanding Let's just talk it out and see How did that conversation go? as you would expect terrible My in-laws were incredibly irate and yelled the majority of the time The part that hurt them the most was me talking to my mother Who's also a part of the church community talking to her meant that I in their words exposed him And now she sees father-in-law in a different light their words One part of the conversation sounded like this Father-in-law, how would you feel if I told your folks you prostitute? Me I would feel like that's a lie Oh god father-in-law Exactly, that's how I feel me Except I didn't lie about anything. I just told my mom the facts and how it made me feel Mother-in-law. Well, OP doesn't feel like she lied. So she doesn't understand Me where was the lie? I only told them the facts Father-in-law, but OP you made me look bad Mother-in-law, yeah OP you've now shown him in a different light and that doesn't show his character. He has a good heart A lot of our conversations sounded like that. I'm also realizing a lot of the conversation was rooted in bullying Some comments sounded like we can joke with all our married friends and married children about sexual conversation But we see we can't do that with you We can't make any jokes around you. So I guess we probably need to be careful with how we talk Okay, I thought that he said that it wasn't sexual So now he's saying we get to make sexual jokes around our other friends. So now it sounds like it was the tuna switching Yeah, it's a hump We just can't make any jokes around you. So I guess we probably need to be careful with how we talk I don't know how I'll act around you now mother-in-law I told them I wasn't safe to talk to mother-in-law because of what I'm seeing in real time with the conversation We were having Reddit readers when I say it was a bunch of yelling and insulting saying don't be dumb What you did is bad etc. I'm not kidding I told them quote in the future I hope the in-laws their children's spouses can come to them when something makes them uncomfortable and it be received They said quote aren't you being received now? And I said quote no i'm being met with screaming insults threats of being cut off And that this is emotionally unsafe I said that even with expressing myself Father-in-law is only getting angrier He agreed he explained that he's the adult and that I should listen and that's my problem I shouldn't have talked to anyone. It made him look bad He said that he doesn't want to talk to me and will move differently with me He no longer wants to come over to our house. Thank the heavens He yelled these things and when I asked him to stop yelling. He said no i'm mad When I asked if he could stop insulting. He said no, maybe we don't need to talk I said you're right. We don't if we can't respect each other He said op you need to respect me I said grab control. He said you grab control We ended the call with him repeating leave me alone and crying very hard while yelling. I'm not kidding Now let me say this I've never raised my voice insulted or over talked to anyone because I've seen this with my other sister-in-law Married into the family like me. It's easy to feel provoked and get into a screaming match But when you're cool as a cucumber emotionally That sends them over the edge And that's what happened. And fortunately I documented the conversation for proof. Oh, wow There is a lot more a lot of it is just explanation to other things If you want to read it, it will be linked in the description But we are going to get into the last update we have because there's another one after this This last update is coming almost a month after the original post New update yikes, I know Well, I'm sort of in a pickle about this one because my husband and I have been wrestling with this issue for a little over a month now After debates regarding everything that happened with his dad in our home. He spoke with his folks He said he cleared up what happened Not really, but he talked to them and expressed that they can't joke around everyone Especially if you don't know a person's history or if they'll see it as a joke fair After the insults yelling alienation and gossiping he talked to them and things settled on their end supposedly But no one followed up with me No apologies. No remorse. No take backs nothing Just then I've talked with them. They're old and set in their ways. This issue is over Here's where the problem lies This issue has truly impacted my marriage. I've been so angry with my husband for not having my back For not standing up for me for letting them talk to me. However, they did I've questioned his ability to speak up in the face of wrong I've called him a coward. I've questioned whether being married into this family is even worth it But What cooked the goose? It was me saying his dad had Predatorial behaviors I gave him examples like when he sees young college-aged girls on tv's and calls them his girlfriend Or openly in front of his wife daughters daughter-in-law adult children Comments on other women on tv Or when he makes sexual jokes gestures, etc How his circles include men who have been exposed for sexual crimes Oh Oh god, you should have started there Why didn't you just literally start there? I've noticed the dad has a soft spot for men with these kind of crimes under their belt and I don't know Oh my god an alarm just goes off for me. Well, yeah Maybe I've been enraged and spoke in anger. Maybe I spoke what I've been thinking for years Nonetheless, my husband is beyond hurt Silent treatment avoiding me Only will argue snappy Mad So was I the asshole or am I missing something? Not the asshole not missing anything Divorce. Yeah, this is not worth being married into you have a child now that you need to Oh god, I forgot look out for and maybe there is some shit that went down. Maybe there is some shit that This goes real real deep Yeah, I that like added context. It's like why like girl I would that in the original. No, I know I wish she would have started with that because like that We wouldn't have even questioned the worm exactly That's you can only go with what you got. Yeah I think this is divorce worthy at this point. This is just Not worth it No update about Just saying okay. No update about the update. What was the last comments were locked on that update We don't really have any comments after that from op nothing on the account But again, there were a lot of comments on the other ones and a lot of clarifying questions and just a lot to go through I mean you could scroll for at least 73 seconds for how many comments there are it's just it's just going going where'd you come up with that number? I don't know seem appropriate 73 seconds. Yeah, that's a doozy though. That is a doozy Give him the D Give him the D divorce But it's all I got for this theme. Okay. Okay. Okay Okay Okay, I don't know I feel Ah What's wrong? I don't know. It was just like that was such a crazy way to end it I don't like it. Well, I think it's because usually when we end we kind of are like, okay We got to wrap it up. We keep talking but this one was kind of like The the last update kind of silenced us a little bit. We were just like, oh shit, you know Should we get into that short one you sent me? Which one cancer one? Oh, yeah. Yeah. Okay. Let's end it on that. Okay. It just doesn't feel right otherwise. Yeah Idol money lies in your current account picking crumbs out of its belly button wondering should I eat them? But when you start investing with Monzo your money's always busy It turns on regular investments Invests your spare change and tops up your stocks and shares isa it even helps you make sense of risk and return Monzo the bank that gets your money moving You could get back less than you invest Monzo current account required uk residents 18 plus t's and c's apply Okay, Lauren you found it you can read it. It's really short This one is coming from a itah and it is nine hours old. You found a fresh one Yeah, am I the asshole for hating the other woman my husband fell in love with while she had cancer My husband 35 male soon to be ex-husband is a doctor I 32 female married him six years ago There is a woman 41 female who was a patient at a hospital. He used to work What no uh, uh, no She wasn't a patient while he worked there and he was never her doctor When he met her she was suffering from cancer. She's in remission now They fell in love while she was sick and he's leaving me for her I feel like i'm not allowed to hate her most of my own family isn't pissed at him My sister 28 female is the worst as she talks about the situation like such a romantic event I'm happy this woman is healthy now I want her to live a long happy life. I don't wish ill will on her, but I hate her I mean understandable. She's still your husband. I partially love and partially hate my husband I feel guilty for hating her. Am I the asshole? Okay, I like need the context though of how they did meet so I skimmed this and I When I saw that he was the doctor I just immediately assumed that she was his patient That's what I assumed right first line, but also like How did you meet then yeah, weren't her doctor, but like Met when she was sick So how did you meet? Yeah what I'm like comments from op well. I'm almost wondering I'm like is she covering for him because How illegal it is to date your own patients and she still partially loves him as she said I wonder if she's covering because how else did they meet with her being sick right? It's just a confusing way to I know it feels fishy because I was fishy because like specifically when the sister says it's like such a romantic event Why is it romantic? Right? How did they meet? Was he the doctor and she was sick? Thought she was gonna die. He was got really close with her Got to know her and then they fell in love I'm so perplexed. Okay Top comment and then like are there any comments from op like is there any clarifying info on here because I'm sure Everyone is in the same boat as us just like like what's confused and like hey We need a little bit more info Yeah, and the top comment is just curious if she was not a patient when he worked there Then how did they even meet? Yes, not the asshole though And then someone responded they definitely met at the hospital You can't trust the words of a cheater. He would say anything to save his job and prove what he did was ethical Exactly like he's a doctor. He's not gonna throw away Oh, I don't know eight twelve years of school to Like to be honest like yeah, of course you're gonna lie like we didn't meet I wasn't working there yet. Like how else did you meet? Yeah, and and somebody goes first thought he's totally her doctor and trying to protect his career Someone goes cancer patients are often going through their treatment in a shared room with multiple people that have different doctors While you might be right It's very easy to meet another doctor in those rooms during her chemotherapy My grandmother made two friends that weren't her doctors But doctors of other people in the room that stopped for a chat after setting up their patient. Yeah Someone else goes same thing with my mother um, which makes sense, but it still feels a little Well, it's definitely slimy because he had a wife and he cheated But it still feels kind of like a weird like professional thing where it's like that's still a patient at your hospital And then he tried to lie and he was like, I wasn't working there yet I wasn't working at that hospital yet, but it's like then how did you meet? Yeah, are you going to cancer support groups volunteering your time? How did you meet? Oh, no 100 percent. It's people Some of the comments I didn't even know that they could There's like a lot of comments. This is actually even more of a top comment. I don't know why it's farther down Has even more upvotes read it some I feel like the way comments are organized has like changed lately But yeah, I know you can change how you organize your comments, but it just something's up But yeah, someone goes fuck that bitch You are entitled to have feelings and tell your sister to shut the fuck up that is 5.2 thousand upvotes Yes, and that's how I feel like it's crazy that the family is not supporting you when you at the end of the day Were wronged. You were cheated on you add your husband And lose the sanctity of your marriage like and go against the vows that he made to you And I don't know how cheating Like meeting someone because you cheated Could be romantic like I know she went through something really difficult and beating cancer is amazing Like that is such a terrible thing to go through but at the end of the day like It's amazing on her end for surviving but like that's not necessarily romantic because he's still Cheated. Yeah, what I'm thinking probably the romanticized version that the sisters Maybe referring to is that the woman who had cancer probably was like I know what it's like to be close to death And I've never felt this way and I don't want to waste one more second living my life For anyone else and holding back from like my true feelings and what you know, it's it was probably something like that if I had to guess there's that empathy and Pragmatic devil's advocate, you know Um, but I don't know if op responds to anything and this is also only nine hours ago It's fresh. Do you want to take a look and see if you see if I see anything on the account? Account has been suspended. No so Take that as you will I'm not seeing any comments quick scroll here Comments really are um popping off. Oh, yeah, they're big. They go crazy. Yeah Fuck that bitch. I know I thought that they weren't allowed to say that on Reddit because anytime Feel like the comments are always so respectful and well thought out This this post is not. No, there's a lot of very angry Yeah, and I do agree like I don't think you need to feel bad for hating her like at the end of day She kind of like it obviously falls on the husband too But they both together Shit near Cheerios. Yeah. No, I think you don't have to like Give her more Respect than you would someone who's not going through cancer Yeah, I mean she a person up Rooted your whole life and your future plans You have ever right to have your feelings about that for sure and not feel guilty about it. No Well, that's all I got unless uh Unless you want to get into that vagina cheese. No, no, you can save that for someone else. Who should I give it to? Michaela probably would have a good response. I don't know if she'd be able to be And she talked about putting a fish. Oh, that's true. She did talk about a fish vagina spell She might be able to handle it then. Okay. Okay. I gotta find a theme for it Thank you guys so much for being here another episode another month another year We're like almost Done with 2025 it feels it's crazy. How fast this year is going calm down No, we're all halfway there. I'm like 74 days away from my wedding. Yeah, that's crazy That will make time fly for sure by the time this episode comes out I'll be even like way closer because this is like a couple weeks out now I'm just like, oh my god It's gonna be here before I know it But my tent is on the boat. I can track the boat from china I just like refresh the boat. I just track it to make sure my tent's coming I didn't know that you were still going through with that. How'd you find out how'd you make that happen? Went on alibaba.com found my guide george in china ordered the tent. Wow. It's been very was it as expensive as it? No, no, I like got a steal compared to the rental prices. Okay Tent rental. I think I'm gonna open a tent rental business now I'm not kidding. Like I got the tent now. I'm excited to see it I think it's gonna be good. Wow And I have my little mini mule in my backyard now that I'm maybe training to be my beer donkey Wait, do you still want to have you said before that you wanted to have like a camel? No single like bachelor Yes guys there. Yes, we are getting to the wire if we have hot single guys in minnesota Please submit your application to lauren that is lauren rolf Um, she will she's made of honor. We'll set up a google form and she can go through it Perfect. Um, absolutely. I want I want the I want the experience for the guests I think that I think salt hank was serious about wanting to come and and he's Yeah, oh he can come that's why I that's why I was like You should actually he was like I actually would And I was like he's invited Perfect because he had just told me that like he's how do you know? Do you tell him? I'm like, he doesn't listen. He was he was asking for updates on you know on everyone and yeah, so he can come I like that. Yeah. Yeah, I want we have so many amazing beautiful smart just insane women in attendance and not as many single nice smart guys And so I need to I need to level it out like I was in diluth a couple weekends ago for the holidays and just like recovering from surgery And I literally ran into like by the way people from high school And I was like, are you gonna be in town September 27th? Do you want to come to the after party? I have so many hot girls coming. I'm like recruiting everyone I told like all the all the guys that like I invited but I gave them a plus one. I'm like Did you want to bring a plus one? Don't bring a plus one. There's so many girls I'm like, I'm just wanted to be so fun for everyone and like Who knows if you met and you fell in love at my wedding. That'd be so cool. That would be cool. And I I'm very excited. I think it's gonna be really fun. It's gonna be really cool. Yeah, really cool I've just had so much fun planning. Good. I I've had like small pockets like Maybe 30 minutes of stress here and there but like otherwise it has truly been such a fun experience Maybe you should be a wedding planner I literally want to like when I told you like I would put the podcast on hold to plan your wedding I wouldn't even need to put it on hold like I'm just I I can do it all Yeah, I would love to plan a friend's wedding If you don't let me be your wedding planner, I'm actually gonna be pissed. Well, the thing is is that like I Likely will do a really like low-key beach resort all-inclusive wedding. I love this. No, like that's what you said Yeah, but not like all-inclusive beach resort like I'm thinking like Honestly, something really small and like really affordable. Yeah, we can find a villa have the whole house like I'm trying to spend five k total You know We we can see what we can do we could probably swing something cool You just won't have a lot of flowers because those are costly or we'll go to the local garden greenery place there and Find some plants. Yeah plants are more affordable if you want something that you can then actually have after the wedding too I'm doing a lot of plants. We'll see I just from Costco. I just yeah, I guess I just have a hard time with the idea of like spending a ton of money on Like a temporary. Oh, yeah, you know, so it like that it's a it's a it's a commitment Yeah, sure. It's a choice. Yeah, it's definitely a choice But we'll see you never know how I'll feel whenever the time comes So I was learning you could win the lottery and be like, yeah I won 150 million in the california state lottery What's one million on a wedding? No, that would raise my price to 10 k on the wedding I'm not a humble girl Uh, thank you guys so much for being here. We've got lauren on two patreon episodes this month So head on over if you want more low in we also did a trio episode me lauren and mikaela. That was really fun It was super good. Yeah, mikaela talked about it today and she was like it was super like girl slumber party sleepover vibes And we had some crazy stories for it. Yeah, I love that It was a good time But okay, that's all I got until next time until next time. Bye guys. Bye Oh