Becker Private Equity & Business Podcast

No Good Deed Goes Unpunished 7-12-26

3 min

•Jul 12, 20266 days ago

Summary

Scott Becker discusses the frustration of doing favors for others—whether hiring interns, making job introductions, or setting people up—only to have recipients complain or criticize the opportunity rather than simply expressing gratitude. He argues that people should accept favors graciously and thank the person who helped them, or risk losing future support.

Insights

Ungrateful responses to favors damage long-term relationships and future willingness to help; reciprocal goodwill requires basic courtesy
People often fail to recognize the effort and opportunity cost involved when someone goes out of their way to help them
Entitlement and criticism of opportunities (jobs, introductions, connections) signals ingratitude and burns professional bridges
Simple gratitude and acceptance without complaint is the appropriate response to a favor, regardless of personal preference
Repeated negative feedback about favors given creates resentment and discourages future assistance to that person

Trends

Declining professional courtesy and gratitude in business relationshipsEntitlement mentality among younger generations receiving opportunitiesErosion of relationship-based business practices due to lack of reciprocal respectImportance of emotional intelligence and basic manners in networking and relationship building

Topics

Professional favors and relationship management Gratitude and courtesy in business Networking etiquette Intern hiring and talent development Job introductions and career opportunities Relationship building in private equity Entitlement in professional settings Long-term relationship consequences

People

Scott Becker

Host and primary speaker sharing personal anecdotes about favors and relationship management in business

Quotes

"Just say thank you and walk away"

Scott Becker•Mid-episode

"We'll help you if you're not a bitch about it and nasty about it"

Scott Becker•Late episode

"The notion is just say thank you when somebody does you a favor and shut the heck up"

Scott Becker•Closing

"I was giving your child an opportunity to improve the resume, to learn a little bit. We hired her solely as a favor for your parents or grandparents"

Scott Becker•Early episode

Full Transcript

This is Scott Becker with the Becker Business and the Becker Private Equity Podcast. Today's discussion is no good deed goes unpunished. And all of us live in this world where we do a favor for somebody, we try and make an introduction for somebody, we try and help somebody. It's somehow or another, the person who we do the favor for doesn't just say thank you, but gives you some sort of like garbage about it. And I'll give you a few different examples of this. The most significant example over the years is we at one of the companies I work with don't really hire interns, but we'll hire interns as a relationship favor. We did a favor years ago. Somebody's grandparents asked me, can you give our child, in this case, a son, a job for the summer? And I'm like, of course, would love to. Then I got to figure out how to do this. And this was a long time ago when it wasn't putting such an imposition on the rest of my people, but on us. And so give the person a job for the summer, did a nice enough job. And, you know, for the next 15 years, I get from one of the adults in the family, oh, that wasn't really the right place for her. She's really above that. She wants to do this, wants to do this. He wants this, wants to do that. And I'm like, what don't you get about the fact that I was giving your child an opportunity to improve the resume, to learn a little bit We hired her solely as a favor for your parents or grandparents So just say thank you and walk away It reminds me of 100 years ago when I was a young person in my 20s and we periodically fix up a friend with a girl, fix up a girl with a guy. And rather than just saying thank you, the person would ask 50 questions about the girl or guy and then be like, oh, I'm not sure if I really like her it didn't go great. I'm like, oh my God, I'm going out of my way to fix you up with the person. Okay. If you like her or not, or like him or not, just say thank you and move on. It's simply like when you introduce somebody for a job or an opportunity or an introduction and they sort of, you know, turn their nose up at it. Let me tell you, just say thank you because the person who introduced you or the person who gave your kid a job or did whatever will do it again. We'll help you if you're not a bitch about it and nasty about it. And when I use the term bitch, I am often and almost always referring to my male friends that were whining about getting introduced to a woman they didn't like or about a job or an introduction they didn't think was worthwhile, that those friends of mine, those friends of mine were being a bitch. And I hope that doesn't offend people. We hope people enjoy this. In any event, thank you for listening to the Becker Business and the Becker Private Equity Podcast. We hope you enjoy this train of thought, these thoughts. You know, again, the notion is just say thank you when somebody does you a favor and shut the heck up. Thank you for listening to the Becker Business and the Becker Private Equity Podcast.