Friends, there's something I want to talk to you about today. Because it's not just trending, it's revealing something deeper, happening inside some families. We're seeing relationships where arguments escalate, where voices get louder, things get thrown and words get sharper, and sometimes lines get crossed that should never be crossed. And it's one of those moments that stops you in your tracks. It's shocking, it's heartbreaking, and truly it's uncomfortable to watch. But more than anything, it's revealing. It's revealing because behind the headlines, behind the opinions, there's a deeper truth that we just cannot ignore. There are still homes where conflicts turn into harm. And I want to say this really clearly. It is never okay to raise your hand. It is never okay to throw things. It is never okay to tear someone down with your words. Not in anger, not when you're triggered. It is never okay, not ever. Because how you fight is teaching your children how to love. Uh, no. Ooh, that's better, right, babe? Yeah! Yeah. She founded an architectural concrete company. He founded a hundred million dollar clothing company. She took the world by storm as a social media star. He took the world by storm as a famous serial entrepreneur. Together we started a business. And had babies. Now we're figuring out the best ways to do both. Join us as we learn from other entrepreneurs going through the same life struggle. As they share their life hacks about success, love, kids. And everything in between. Hello, my friend. And welcome back to the Entrepreneur Parents Podcast. A place where we are building strong families, strong marriages, and future leaders together. I am so grateful that you're here. And honestly, I don't take it lightly that you would press play on this episode. That you would take the time out of your day. Perhaps you're driving, folding laundry, working, holding the babies, or just needing a moment to breathe and take your mind somewhere else. Put the work in on your family. But listen, you choosing to invest in your family right now. And that alone, that says everything about the kind of parent that you are. So before we begin, just take a second to check in with yourself. How are you showing up lately? How is your home feeling? And what's been weighing on you? Those are really important things to check in on. And this isn't any kind of pressure. This is just awareness of where you are right now in the season that you're in, in your journey. Because listen, awareness, that is where transformation begins. There's been a conversation that's been circling lately. And instead of ignoring it, I felt, I felt it was important to address it with, of course, with love and maturity and wisdom and, and of course, purpose. Because I know a lot of people are just talking about it. Their opinions are strong and it's turning into gossip. But this situation involving a mother from a popular show and full disclosure, I have never watched this show, nor will I ever. It's just something that I don't think is aligned with my family. And that's no judgment. I'm just, I think in this community, we are so, so, so picky on what we watch or listen to because we have little ears and eyes around us at all times. So we just have to be careful. But a few people in our community have. And this topic, this topic came up several times. And it's one of those moments that feels heavy. Truly, it's sad. It's unsettling. It's not something anyone enjoys talking about. But here's the truth. We cannot grow if we only talk about what's comfortable, correct? And this is not about one person. Okay. This is about what this reveals because behind situations like this are patterns that exist in more homes than people actually realize. I think this is why the conversation is coming up because people are saying that they've been through this, whether it's, you know, female or male. There are people that are raising their hand and saying, I've been in this situation, but we've never talked about it or I've never talked about it. And if we're willing to look at this the right way rather than just taking it as entertainment or gossip, if we're willing to look at it the right way, this can become a wake up call, not just a headline, right? Doesn't have to be just a headline. Perhaps it came to light so that people can really learn. I really want to ground this right now. Violence is never okay. Never, never ever. Not when you're overwhelmed, not when you're hurt, not when you feel disrespected. Okay. Raising your hand is not okay. Growing things, using words to cut someone down. This is never okay. This is when a moment of conflict turns into harm. And that is the thing that families, couples need to avoid. And how do those couples that are struggling do that? They need to learn the skills. They need to go to therapy and they need to get the proper help. Because the moment that couples stop communicating in their relationship, that is when the damage starts to come. Okay. And what makes it even more serious is that those couples with children, the children are watching. That's what makes it so alarming. That's what makes this story so painful. Okay. The Gottman Institute has spent decades studying relationships and they found something that should stop every parent in their tracks. It's not if you fight people. It's not if you fight. It's how you fight that determines everything. They identified patterns that destroy relationships, the Holy Covenant, the marriages, the things that they identified, criticism, contempt, defensiveness, and emotional shutdown. But here's what hits deeper as parents. Your children are being trained in real time. Through social learning theory, they are not learning from your advice. They are learning from your behavior. We talk about this a lot in our community. Our children learn from watching us. So if they grow up or if you have grown up in explosive environments, silent, emotionally avoidant homes, right, that sweep things under the rug or tension that never gets resolved, they don't just experience it. They internalize it as normal. They become what is modeled. If we're honest, many people were never taught how to handle emotion in a healthy way. Many either grew up in a home where emotions exploded or emotions were buried and both lead to the same place. They don't know how to feel deeply, but don't know how to process those feelings safely. So what happened? What happens? Can you guess? They build, they stack, and they sit under the surface until one day they come out sideways. Comes out in anger, silence, in words that are regretted or actions that cannot be taken back. And there's going to be consequences. We're seeing that right now in real time in headlines. As an in our home, I say this to my children all the time. You're allowed to feel, but you're not allowed to hurt people. You can be angry. You can be angry, but you can't be mean. You can be frustrated. You can feel overwhelmed. You can feel all the emotions, the rainbow of emotions. Okay? Cause there's a whole bunch of different feelings that will flood into us, but you don't get to be cruel. You don't get to be disrespectful and you don't get to be just destructive. You don't get to be destructive. Not with things, not with people because self discipline, it is not about shutting emotions down. It's not about go to your room or I'll give you something to cry. It's not about shutting them down. It's about learning to lead yourself through them. And if we can just give our children this gift when they're young, it will be so valuable when they grow up. Now, I want to take a moment to make this real. This is what healthy conflict actually looks like. Okay? So the first thing that can be applied is to pause because your brain is flooded. So just pause when you're triggered. Your nervous system is in survival mode. Right? It just comes over, comes over many people and you cannot communicate clearly in that state. So you just need to pause. You need to take a moment, step away, breathe, reset and pause. I just, just that pause alone can change everything. That pause can protect your entire family. Say what you feel. Not what you accuse. So for example, instead of saying, you always do this, whatever, whatever that, whatever that conversation is, rather say, I feel hurt right now. I feel hurt right now because of, I feel like the family is not important. I feel like I'm not important enough to make it home and on time for dinner or whatever it may be. I mean, it may be something different in your family. I know that that's, that's a moment. It's an honest moment for me and my relationship and my marriage and I have to learn to articulate that correctly. Right? And in a way that's, that's not triggering. And, and we hope that our partners can see that as a plea for connection and to be seen and heard and loved so that we could be respected so that we could see, you know, she spent hours cooking dinner and this is important. This is a very important time for us all to get together to have great conversation and grow together as a family. I don't, I'm not trying to get anyone on the other end down. This is why it hurts and this is why it's important. And I feel if you could just articulate that in a way where it makes sense, if your partner truly loves you, they're not going, they're not going to purposely mess that up every single time. So communication is key. Right? It's definitely not weakness. It's not weakness to be able to put yourself out on the line right now and say how you're feeling. This is, this is emotional maturity, friends. And then the third one, protect the person, address the problem, never attack identity, never attack identity. Those are words that once they're said out in anger, they're not forgotten. We see this in our, in our little girl. If something has hurt her, she'll never forget it. I never forget it as women. I don't think we ever forget the little things, the little details. We remember everything. So really protect the person, never attack identity, address the issue, address the issue, but not the person. Okay? Because once respect is broken, once that respect is broken, trust becomes incredibly hard to rebuild if only couples could understand this before they cross the line and they cross that, that there's no better way to say it before you cross the line. Because once you cross the line, it is, it's, it's, it's hard to rebuild. It's a lot of work. So you need to think you have to have that self discipline, that self control and repair fast. Right? The final, no, actually that's not the final one. But the fourth point is to repair fast. Healthy couples are not perfect. There's a lot of work that goes into marriage. Ask anyone that's been together for many years, but the secret is that they are quick to repair. They don't sweep it under the rug. Okay? They don't explode. They don't explode. And tension may rise, but they are quick to repair. I shouldn't have said that. I'm so sorry. Catch it, catch it, catch it, catch it, drop the ego and fix it, catch it, fix it quickly. Don't walk up. Don't leave. Don't walk out. Don't extend it longer than you need to. I hear people leaving for three nights. Then that other person is going to be in pain for three nights and stewing about it. That's not fair. It's not fair. It's not right. It's not biblical. Okay. That moment right there. I shouldn't have said that. I'm so sorry. That's leadership. That is a leadership that is going to keep your wife in a beautiful feminine state or vice versa, whichever way, whichever way, because this whole thing is an example that it can go both ways. Doesn't matter the race. It doesn't matter the gender. Okay. There has to be work put in, into it. And then let your children, this was one I was thinking about, do I add it? Don't I add it? But yes, yes, add it. I say this all the time in our community. Let your children see the resolution, not just the tension. Don't hide everything. Let them witness. Let them witness conversations, ownership, and the reconciliation. That's important for them to see, especially when they know, oh my goodness. I can't believe that happened. What are they going to do? What are they going to do? You want them to see. You want them to see those things because that's how they learn what love actually looks like. It's important. We have to stop thinking they're too young to understand. They are not too young. They are absorbing everything. You are shaping, right? Couples are shaping how their children handle anger, how they communicate in marriage, and how safe they feel in relationships. So the real question is, the real question is, what are couples modeling? What are we modeling? Are we modeling chaos or are we modeling leadership? Because one day they will either repeat the patterns or rise because you, we as couples in our marriage chose to break them. Either the pattern, right? They're going to repeat either the pattern or the breakthrough. They're going to repeat it. We have to be so careful. Before you reach for that coffee, consider this. What if the energy boost you're looking for isn't in your cup but in your cells? I challenge you to swap your morning coffee for Sheila Jeet by Symbiotica. Here's what can happen. No crash, no jitters. It's clean, sustained energy plus mental clarity and trace minerals that our bodies actually need, that are actually starving for, to be honest. This isn't just a supplement. It's an ancient adaptogen sourced from the Himalayas that supports myocondrial function, stamina and overall vitality. Your coffee never did that. Okay. Let's just be honest. Buy it for a week and tell me your body doesn't thank you. Symbiotica's Sheila Jeet is next level wellness and honestly, you may never go back to drinking coffee. Click the link below down in the bio and get your Sheila Jeet today. Scripture is so clear on this. James chapter one verse 19 through 20, everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, slow to become angry because human anger does not produce the righteousness that God desires. And also Ephesians chapter four verse 26 in your anger, do not sin. Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry. Right? Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry. So there's two points to this one resolve quickly. Don't go to bed angry. And then notice this. God never said, don't feel anger. He said, don't let anger lead you to sin. Right? I think having said that, let's move into prayer together. I think it would be nice to do a prayer in this episode on this topic that we're discussing because it's hard. It's hard. It's a hard one. It's a hard one to see and it's a hard one to listen to. But I just thought, you know, we can't just fall into the gossip and it could really be a conversation that's a wake up call for perhaps some families out there. So let's come together in prayer. Heavenly Father, we come to you today with open hearts as parents, as spouses, as people still learning, as parents who truly want to do better, not just for ourselves, but for our children. Lord teach us how to handle our emotions with wisdom and self control. How to pause when we feel overwhelmed, to choose peace when we feel triggered, and to respond with love instead of reaction. Remove any patterns in us that were built in chaos, silence or pain, and replace them with patience, gentleness and strength. Together protect our homes, help us break patterns that do not belong in our homes. Let our children grow up feeling safe, secure and deeply loved, not fearful, not confused, and definitely not wounded by the way we handle conflict. Give us the wisdom. Teach us to lead ourselves well so we can lead our families well. The way you have set the example. In Jesus name, amen. Before we close, I want to say this. This might not resonate with everyone. And if it doesn't, that's great. It's just a conversation that you listen to and you learn from because this is not coming from a place of judgment. It's far from it. This is coming from a place of awareness from lived experiences. Perhaps it's a lived experience in many families out there, families that are listening today from things they've seen, things they've personally perhaps walked through. Many out there have been on the receiving end of this situation, of situations that were not okay. And for a long time, those things were kept quiet and perhaps even are still kept quiet. So I understand how complex this can feel. I understand how easy it is to minimize. And we're seeing how it could be easily justified even or to just sweep it under the rug and pretend we didn't even see it. But bringing things into the light, I feel, I really, truly feel that's where healing begins. So if something in this conversation stirred something in you, something maybe from an experience from a long, long time ago, don't ignore it. Because awareness and honesty is there to invite you into something better, into something better. And if this episode spoke to your heart, please don't keep it to yourself. Share it with another parent that you think could benefit from this conversation, that could relate to this conversation or grow from this or heal from this conversation. Send it to a couple who needs encouragement. Be a part of helping this message reach families who are ready to grow. And if you haven't already, make sure you follow and subscribe to the Entrepreneur-Parent podcast and leave a kind review. It helps this message reach homes that need it the most. And if you are a family raising future leaders, you need to be listening to the Entrepreneur-Kids Legacy Show. Daniel and Destiny are pouring into children with lessons of leadership, faith, courage, business and character. And if it is something that you think that your family is leaning towards, these are conversations that you need in your life, it is really, truly something special for families to listen to together and have conversations about afterwards. And if you feel called to leave a gift to help produce the show, you can definitely leave a gift and help produce the show. This helps reach more families around the world, around the world that's so beautiful to see, all over the world in Europe, Africa, all over the world. And if you are listening, you can leave a gift at buymeacoffee.com backslash Entrepreneur-Kids and listen, every gift helps build something that impacts the next generation. So thank you in advance for your beautiful gifts. The little ones appreciate it so much. And friends, at the end of the day, this isn't just about better communication. This is about breaking cycles, protecting children and building families that are strong, connected and unshakable. Because that is how, that is the legacy that we're here to build together as a community. Right? And again, if this conversation may have passed by as something unrecognized, that's great. But perhaps it stirred something in you. And again, don't ignore that. Just on it, talk about it and grow from it. Because these families that are in this community, these strong families are the ones who talk about the hard, who have the hard conversations. And we don't avoid conflict. We are the ones, right? In this community, the people listening, you are the ones who can learn how to handle it, handle conflict with wisdom, with discipline, with love. And moments like this, as hard as they are to see, they can become wake-up calls. And that changes the direction of an entire family line. This is how cycles are broken and this is how to protect children. And this is how unshakable legacies are built. God bless you guys. Glory to God always. Can't wait to see you again in this next conversation. God bless you. Have a blessed, beautiful week. Thank you, beautiful friends, for listening to this important message from Mama. There is someone you love and care about. Oh, and we'd love to personally invite you to listen to our podcast. It's for young future allidos ready to change the world and be a light in the dark. Come together as a family. It's called the optional kids' legacy show. We know you'll love it. Be bold. Be kind. Build an unforgettable family legacy. God bless you. We love you. And parents, if no one told you yet, let us be the folks. You're doing a remarkable job. And remember, you are the hero of your story because every legacy begins with a hero. And that hero is you. This podcast is for inspirational and educational purposes only, and it is not intended to replace professional advice, legal advice, diagnosis, or treatment. The views expressed are based on personal experience and faith-based insight and are meant to encourage reflection and growth. Always seek the guidance of qualified professionals regarding any questions or concerns you may have about your health, relationships, or business.
