Off the Record with Dusty Slay: Comedy, Marriage and Breaking Addiction

But when I quit drinking, I was like, I kind of struggled with it a little bit where I was like, oh, I'm not really fun now. But I'm like, oh, why do I have to be fun? I gotta go beat this other thing so that I can get your approval stranger. That's tougher than just not drinking. Hey, what's going on? It's time for a special episode of the Dr. John Deloney Show. I am your brother John and I'm glad that you are joining us on a Saturday morning special episode. All right. So over the last few years, I've gotten more and more people reaching out asking for more interviews, more conversations with people I find inspiring, who I learn from, who challenge me, or quite honestly, this is me being selfish. People I just love and I want to introduce to you all. And I also get folks who get frustrated when we take calls off the show and insert conversations. And so what we're trying is once a month, a few times a month, maybe every week, we're going to drop conversations with Deloney. These are interviews. These are conversations I'm having with my friends with people I look up to, people who inspire me and I want you to get to know them too. This week on the inaugural drop is a world renowned comedian. He's got two Netflix specials, a class act. His name is the great dusty sleigh. He's hilarious, super, super insightful. And this episode is just, it's one I've reflected on over and over and over again since we sat down and talked. So I'm going to leave all of his contact information in the show notes. You can follow him on social media. You can go check out his latest Netflix special wet heat or you can get his tour schedule. So buckle up, do what you got to do this Saturday morning and beyond and listen to a conversation with my new friend and all around philosopher and incredible comedian, the great dusty sleigh. So going back about a year ago, my buddy George Campbell, he just always like, dude, I want us to stand up, I want you to stand up, I want you to stand up. And finally, out of a like active protest, I call over and say, hey, me and George want to book a night at the lab. And the deeper thing, and this is kind of dramatic, but it's true. My dad and I've always struggled to connect, but growing up, he was an old, like he still is, he's an old Texas cop. And so we didn't have a lot of connecting points, but he always talked with reverence about prior and Steve Martin and Robin Williams and Cosby before, right? And it was, it was like a, these are the like, this is what artists, right? To a guy that had noticed, like, didn't have an artistic and so I've always had this connection, like I wonder if you would like me then, right? My dad, right? Yeah. And so anyway, we booked a night and then we had a second one and it, it wasn't great, it was fine, it was fine. But then I got obsessed. And so then I start going down, it's right by my house and such, I go in every week as much as I possibly can. And my day job is traveling the country and doing these big corporate events, like for mental health and relationship stuff. But I got obsessed with going in these rooms. And two things I've figured out, one is I did not understand the level of craftsmanship that goes on backstage when you ask somebody, hey, can you help make this thing better? Or when you have somebody that's like, you would get off set and like, do it, you had a space, if you'd held that space and you're like, okay, but I started to look at you professional comics as like craftsmen, like as cabinet makers who are like trying to make something amazing. And the second thing is, and this is just a compliment to you, there is an ethos that I'm now finding the more I'm around touring comics that it only exists in a few places, which is the established comics like you and who come in and say, this is how we treat people in these green rooms. And this is how we take care of new people and this is how we're kind, this is how we hold people accountable. Man, that's, there's, you're like one of the, the Godfather's that hover around this, this place. And I'm not finding out now that I just happened to be down the street from one of the best places in the country for that. But I just want to say thank you for creating a world where a guy like me can walk in and there's a room of what I feel when I go there of total support and total like that wasn't great, but it's not said like to make me feel better. It's to say like, hey, you can do better than this. Or here's a thing you like, these make sense. And so on behalf of all people who get the courage to stand up in front of people and say, who are going like this and like, make me laugh, like, thank you for being a leader in that world because it's, it's, it's, it's, it's very impactful for me. Well, I appreciate that. Yeah, I mean, comedy is so great, right? I've always said this like if you live in a town and you just go to an open mic, like you're like, I want to do comedy. You go to an open mic. Even if you're not good at comedy, if you just keep showing up and sitting there and watching the other comics, you're eventually going to make friends and you become part of this community. And it's like the open mic community is really great. I don't want to do open mics anymore. I've done plenty of them. But it's like you come up in this community and then you all become friends because you're like, you're suffering together, bombing together. And then you, you know, as long as you like, you know, get somewhat good, you'll get booked on other shows. And I love the comedy community. It's, it's, but you've created, you've helped create a pretty special one here in Nashville, which is awesome. Yeah. I still got other ideas that I, where I was just meeting with, you know, one of the owners of Zaini's last night about a new idea that I have to kind of help make the scene better. That's so cool. And I love it. I love to see like, it's like when you're part of these showcases and then it's like, everybody's good. It makes everybody better. That's it. That's it. Because if the person that goes before you really crushes and then you're next, you're like, well, I want to, you know, I don't want to bomb. That's right. I want to do good. Yeah. I had this moment. You just said some powerful and this is what it's given to me. I would say equal to any good counseling I've been to, which is having shared experiences with people who are quasi on your team. Now there is competition. You want to like, like, you did the best tonight. Like, that feels good, right? Yeah. But there's something powerful about trying something and it not working with people who are pretty much on your team. I had this experience. I did an event in Denver. There was a big corporate event and it wasn't, I was in a comedy at all. It was all mental health stuff. But on that bill was like me and John Maxwell, Nate showed up to do a set, Dave Rant, like these big icons and then there's, it's one of those you walk in the green and you're like, what am I doing here? I did my hour and it, it wasn't up to what I wanted. I came home and I was already texting when I got off the plane. Like, I got to go up at, do 10 minutes and get back on the horse, right? Yeah. It's anything. Just say I bombed, dude. It was a, it was disastrous. It was 10 minutes when you got back. Oh gosh. It was catastrophic. Yeah. And these are things that I know work. So I knew it was me, right? I walk off in this comic named Tina Fremble from New York. She was backstage and she put her hands on my shoulders and she said, now you're one of us. I started laughing, not at me, but with me. Yeah. And it was like, oh, and I drove home with a huge smile on my face because I, I don't know, I described this other than I failed in front of people and in front of people who were kind on my team and it was freeing. It wasn't the opposite. Does that make sense? Yeah. Yeah. I drove home a smile like my wife's still going to like me. I still got a one bed to sleep in. My kids like me like I'm, I'm free now. And bombing, watching my friends bomb that I know can do like our good at comedy is one of my favorite things in the world because it's so funny to see your friend. That's really good. Go up and bomb. You're like, this is hilarious to me. I don't know why it's happening, but it's funny. We have a mutual friend us the other night was just like, okay, how about this? For this next joke, don't laugh. Just clap if you think it's funny. It was just not going well. And that was the funniest. Anyway, there's something about trying something terrifying and scary in front of people that you know again are kind on your team and having a knack oh well and how freeing that is. All of our life is built to not have ever let anybody see any scars. And it's like, no, you got them. It's just, it's, it's, it's, it's purifying. And you bomb together, you know, it's like, and that's what I was saying like someone crushes before you because it's like if you're all bombing on a show, then you're all just sharing in it. It's easy to go. Well, it's the audience. Of course, dude. Yeah. But if someone before you crushes you go, all right, well, they will laugh. Yeah. You know, and it's like on my show the other night, what I was saying, it's like the audience was great, but they were one of those that they really laughed if the joke was funny. And if it wasn't, they didn't laugh. I, and you came off and you said this audience is fair. Yeah. And that's like, that's cool. It's awesome. I do say I did some shows, you know, sometimes it might as any shows like this, but Denver Comedy works. Downtown Club is like this where you go and they're almost laughing at every movement that you make on stage. Yes. Like I did, which is intoxicating. Yeah. Yeah. I did five shows and there maybe six. And it was my last show of the weekend where they were just like, they were just laughing at my jokes, right? Which is all you're really asking for. But because they had been giving it up all weekend over any little thing, now that they're just laughing at the punchlines again, I'm like, well, what's happened? Yeah. I'm no good at this. Why, you don't like me now? What is it? You like the jokes, but not me. So how important is it to be anchored into something and we'll get into some of the deeper parts of your life? How important is it to be anchored not in that end result? Because I look across as like, I did I get the bonus this year is my marriage top notch and my kid win the Little League thing. This feels like the same thing. If I'm anchored to that outcome, man, this can be a gnarly business that you're a part of. Yeah, I think you just got to have some balance with shows, right? It's like, I like to do corporate gigs. I like, you know, because corporate gigs pay well. I like that sort of thing, but they're not always the best shows for your ego. Yeah. So I like, you know, I feel like as long as I have enough good shows, I can handle doing those shows. Yeah. I did corporates every night and they were like pretty mediocre. I think it would, it could get to you. I would have rode to some great corporates. They're not all like that. I have some I walk into and I go, all right, I'm about to crush this. And then you get up there and you're like, oh, you tell your new jokes and you go, well, maybe the new jokes are just not as good. And then I start going back to some classics that always work and then they're not getting laughs and you're like, all right. And as long as you have that balance where you're doing enough good shows, you can say to yourself in those moments, you can go, all right, they're not just, they're just, they're just not going to be into anything I do. So you can relax in that where you go, all right, it doesn't matter. We're just, I'm just making money. I'm going to do my best, but I am just making money here. And it may be they're not laughing because they're sitting by their boss and they don't like, they're, who knows what the dynamics are. But it's like, I had a show. I did what's showing California at a theater and it was like one of my lowest turnouts at a theater that I had. But the people that were there were really into it. So I was like, this is a blast. And then I was making jokes about people not being there and go, oh, every time you do a show, people always go, oh, well, you know, it's, you know, you're in the South and it's college football. And I'm like, yeah, but it's a Friday and they go, yeah, high school football, you know, as there's always something. And then they go, somebody yelled out high school graduation. I go, yeah, anything, anything you want to pick. But turns out in that town, they said that actually was the city's high school graduation. So people, you know, and I don't know if you're a superstar, people skip the graduation right? But, you know, but there are, it's just as long as there's a balance, right? To where you're like, because to me, as long as the shows are going well and I'm like, paying my bills, I'm happy. You have a good life, yeah. So tell me about, hold on, you got married. 35. 35. I'm fascinated by this question. 35, you're making your way, all the college successful in this business. Why would you choose to go get married? Well, it's interesting for me because there's a, there was a, I believe, I always quote this and I don't even know if I've ever heard him say it. But someone told me that Doug Stanhope said, you know, think about marriage, he's like, oh, this is going pretty well. Why don't we get the government involved, right? So I kind of felt like you could be biblically married without government married, right? And I always thought, is there really a need for me to get married, you know? But my wife is Canadian, right? And so we started dating and she moved here on a work visa for entertainment. She was, you know, doing comedy with me. Okay. I went around doing comedy and then we got to a place where we were pretty close to her visa expiring. So I always think this is like one of the most unromantic, but also one of the most romantic things. Whereas like I had to ask myself, you know, either I can get married or I can let my girlfriend have to go back and it's not like she's going back to a third world country. She's going back to Canada. So I'm like, do, you know, do I love her enough to get married? And I'm like, well, yeah, of course I do. So what was your picture of marriage growing up? Well my dad has been married four times. And he's, you know, it's latest marriages, you know, 20 years. And I think, you know, his wife is great. My dad's great. Yeah, of course. But and then my mom was married twice and then divorced. So, you know, both of my sister, my older sisters, you know, my, I think my, you know, she's one of my sisters has been married pretty close to 40 years at this point, but there, you know, but as far as my parents go, I just did not see successful marriages growing up. Yeah. And you've talked a lot about, we don't have to go down the road, but about growing up in a trailer part. Yeah. And all the shenanigans that went along there. Yeah, I mean, you just don't see, you know, I don't know, I just didn't see this whole idea of marriage. And, you know, I don't know, I think about like, I never thought of my childhood as bad or unhappy, but, you know, I would have to, you know, go, you know, summers, I would spend a week with my mom, then a week with my dad, then a week with my mom. So I missed out on a lot of like summer hangs because my dad lived in a different town, not far away, but far enough away to where kids I went to school would be like, why don't we come over to my house this weekend? I'm like, no, I can't, I'm at my dad. I'm at my dad's, yeah. And then even, you know, in the school year, be one week ill of my mom, one week ill with my dad. So, and then like just these whole idea that you would choose between your mom and dad. So I'm like, when I decided to have kids, I'm like, I never want my kids to have to go through that. Like they should never have to choose who they're going to hang out with. Yeah. You know, Christmas, do I do Christmas? Like even to this day as an adult, it still affects my life. Of course. Where when I go holidays, I go, am I going to spend it with my mom or with my dad? And I've tried to bring them together. They can get along just fine, but it's weird for me. Yeah. I'm fascinated by that because I can look at all of like the nerd stuff about marriage that it, if you do marriage well, are great. Everything in your life improves. And if you do it not well or bad, everything, it's like reverse ROI. Like everything in your life gets worse. Right. And so I'm in this weird dilemma where I want to encourage, I got a 15 year old and one of my wife and I's goals is let's make being married a thing that it wouldn't occur to him not to do. Like I want to be a part of this thing that looks so fun and dad and whatever. Why would I do that thing? Right. And so that's, that's well and good, but I'm looking at a whole generation of people. Like what is it? The numbers are wild, right? What was it in your head that switched that said, I'm going to do this thing and I want this, I don't have a good picture of what this looked like. I don't have a good lived experience. I'm going to, I want this to look different. And again, there's no throwing shade of parents. Every parent has to think about it. But there's some point when you have to say, okay, you and your wife have to be intentional about this thing has to look different. And how do you go about doing that? Well, you know, we didn't, we had taught, when me and my wife first started dating, I was like, like not for having kids. Yes. And I even like kind of like talked to her about it early on like, I don't want to have kids. So if you're going into this with me, you have to be on board with that. But then we kind of like together decided that we did want to have kids. And yeah, so it's like, I don't know, I think it's that. I think it's having kids. I call my daughter was born. It was just like a real life changing thing. Like, you know, I was with my wife the whole time she was pregnant. Obviously, and I knew it was real, but it wasn't really real until the baby actually comes out and go, whoa, there's a human being in there. It's on me. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Then I'm like, I don't want to mess up my, my kid's life. I don't want my kid to have a hard life. I thought I don't want them to have to deal with things, but you know, I don't want them to have the hard thing. I don't want them to be that, you know, their parents are bad or their parents have made their life harder. How is that real? But there is still real stuff that happens. Like, like, there's dishes that got to be done and there's people who are tired and there's the flight miss. Like, there's life that happens to all of us. How do you and your wife navigate that without a model, without a picture? Because that is the, that to me is the secret sauce, right? It's like if we can communicate that, that you don't have a good picture of this thing and it's still worth it and here's how to do that. And I can get real nerdy and academic about it, but I'm fascinated by people who are like, no, we're going to do this thing. We're going to do it right. But then there's like the brass tax. Like, somebody's got to do the laundry. Yeah. Well, I think that you can, you can look at things and say, well, I know what I don't want it to be, right? Rather than having a model of what it should be, you can go, well, this is what I don't want it to be. You know, and like, and that informs your next move, right? Yeah. Okay. And so you're like, you know, I, I, I don't know, I went to a public school and I feel like my education was good. I had a good time, but I feel like things are different now. Yeah. And if it's in my control, I don't want my daughter to have to, you know, my kids to have to go to the same kind of school I went to. Yes. Again, my school was great. Yeah. But it is a different, things are different. Of course. Yeah. So I just want to try to get them, you know, like the kind of education that they enjoy, that, that, that makes them feel good. Like, my dad always was like big on me getting good grades, but my dad would also kind of like make fun of me about reading and stuff. Like, like, you know, my dad would talk about, you know, stories about him being cool and not ever doing his homework and stuff, but wanted me to do my homework, but also didn't want me to be a nerd or, you know, so I'm like, you're not really encouraging me the way that you think you are. You know, and, and it's like, and then like, even like, you know, playing guitar. I remember I wanted to take guitar lessons in, in school. It was a class for guitar and my dad was like, I remember my dad saying this to me and I think he's right on a certain level, but, but way off on another, he goes, you know, you're, he said, you don't have the year for guitar, you know, it's like these people that play guitar, they pick up the guitar, I think you just play and I go, and now looking back, I'm like, well, of course, there are people, Dwayne Olman, Jimmy Hendrix, probably picked it up and knew how to play right away, but there are other people who just learn to play guitar. Yeah. And my dad saying that to me, implanted it in my head that I can't play guitar. Therefore I, it discouraged me in a way that I never took the time to learn. Now, I can't blame my dad in my whole life that I never played guitar, but I think at that young age, it's food. So I'm like, why don't I do that to my kids? Okay. You know, if they want to do something, I want to encourage them to do it. Now, I don't any time my daughter says, I want to do this. I don't want to run right out and buy everything. You know, but it's, it's like I have that temptation though. Yeah. I do. Yeah. I want to be like, okay, cool. What are, like, we were the nicest of my wife's like, no, no, yeah. A $30 target guitar is fine. She doesn't need a $1,000 tailor. Right. Like, we're good. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. If she, if she learns to play, yeah. Yeah. But that's, that's my thing. Like, you know, I was looking at a $120 guitar. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Something like that. I think that is things that I've found myself saying and my wife will cut her eyes. Like, yeah, we're not a math family and or we're not good at or I'm not good at, which is me telling my son, you're probably not good at this either. Instead of saying, I struggle with this and I didn't put the work in on this. Right. This wasn't a priority for me. It can't be for you. Even that little sentence is a difference of, I guess, I won't touch this thing. Yeah. And going back to, like, something about just showing up over time, you'll get better at a thing, right? Yeah. Or even the R-Live, like if you want to play guitar, when you're never gonna make it as a musician, there's a big gap between, like, I'm never gonna have a Netflix special for comedy, but showing up every night makes me have new friends. It lets me have new friends, looks me succeed and fail together, and it makes me better at my day job, which is just articulating things better in a meeting, right? I mean, there's, you can play guitar, and we'll a girl at a campfire, and it doesn't mean you have to go to John Mayer, right? There's a gap between that. Right. And, yeah, and even just challenging your mind. That's it. Learn a thing. Yeah. You help you in some other level. Yeah. And that's what I'm all about. Like, I'd like to homeschool. I know a lot of that's gonna fall on my wife, so I think that's why she's kinda against it. You know. It's spoken like a great husband. Yeah. What I would like to do. Yeah. I want, I just feel like that a lot could be, you could learn all the academic things in a shorter amount of time than school. And, but, you know, I'm not saying better or worse, but you could learn it all in a shorter amount of time than school, but then you could also spend other time learning other things. That's, yeah. You know, that you were really lit up by, right? Yeah. Yeah, dude. And I think you could, you know, if you don't, you know, if you have the finances, if your kids struggling in this, you could hire a tutor to teach them. Sure. And I think there are people out there trying to do all that. And it's just like, that's what I want. I just want my kids to like feel like they can do whatever they want to do and really explore things and learn things about themselves. Yeah. And not be discouraged because their dad is like, well, yeah, I mean, when you said that, they really hit me when you said, we're not. Of this family. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Where it's like, maybe I wasn't, but they can be. One step removed to my dad's replacement, we didn't have any money grown up, none. And there's been some tension in my family. Now that my life looks different financially, we live in a different neighborhood than I did growing up. And my parents have never said this. I know they're proud of me and all that, but they're, I feel the tension of, have I forgotten my reason? Like, oh, why don't you just, or when the chat comes, I guess I'll, you know what I mean? It's like, there's just kind of automatic default. How have you handled the balance of growing up where you grew up and in the way you grew up? Yeah, not bad. It just was a certain, certain, certain culture and community to the life you have now, where you're on TV. Like you're selling out theaters across the country. Well, I think that it's, you're driving a car that starts every time you turn it right. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, I think that it's, it's been slow. So you kind of adjust to each level, right? But I, I also think it's just important to do, still do normal things. Like, because you know, there's a tendency like, we moved houses and then I have a bigger yard and then I didn't have it. I only had a push more and I was like, we were getting, and then the people that we bought the house from go, hey, this was our lawn care guy. So I call the guy and he's like, yeah, we can do it. And then, and I go, well, I just want to do it for a little while and then, and then I'm going to start doing it. And then, you know, this guy comes every two weeks and cuts the grass and he goes, that's pretty nice. I don't have to cut the grass. He's like, he's like a weed dealer. He's like, I just needed this one time. He's like, yeah, all right, cool. I'll see you next week. And I'm like, well, I like cutting grass. But he keeps coming, cutting the grass. And I go, wow, I don't have to cut the grass. And I think that if you allow enough of those things, you become completely out of touch to, and then you don't do anything where I'm like, I want to keep doing things. I don't want to hire people to do everything. Now I know there is that thing of, when you're hiring people to do things, you're helping them have jobs. Sure. And everybody has jobs. And that's great. But I want to do regular things. Yeah. I've got a small, I call it a farm, a small little, and it's, it's a thing that I will go, mode that place. And I'm finding that, those four hours of driving that zero turn mower and the three hours of weed, like, that's actually almost therapeutic for me. Yeah. Because there's a part of this that's not real, right? And there's something real about that grass grows and the seasons change. And there's something, something important about that or doing my own laundry. What I like, because I have some land in McMinville and I got a zero turn there and I go cut that. And it's nine acres, but a lot of it's wood. So I'm not cutting nine acres. But you know, you're right. And I like to do no headphones. Yeah. Just me listening to the lawn mower, driving along for hours. Yeah, it's meditative. It is so good. Yeah, yeah. I love it. You think of things or you think of nothing. Yeah. You just watch what you're doing. Yeah. And it's so great. You let your brain off the hook a little bit, huh? Is there, is there, and you don't have to get into this if you don't want to, we need to cut this out? Is there tension with family and your success? Actually, my family has been so great. Really? That's awesome. My, we went to, some family members came to visit and meet the other day and we went out to eat and they were talking about going to see Brian Bateshow. And they said, we tried to buy shirts from Brian and he wouldn't let us pay for anything. And they've been to my shows and I charge them. And I charge them. And, and, and I go, well, Brian's a nice guy. Yeah, that's why he's not a good business man. He's a really, that's right. I said, he's not a good business man. Yeah, yeah. And I kind of made that joke. Yeah. And it was funny, but you know, now I do give them free tickets for the show. You know, but when it was shirts, I mean, I was like, I always felt weird about charging them for shirts, but I had my bag that was there and there was a good probability I was gonna sell out the bag. And I'm like, it just feels like it's messing up my thing. If I give the, because in my mind, it's like, you don't have to have this shirt. There you go, yeah. This shirt's not food. Right. You don't have to have this. And if you want it, well, you know, let's, let's buy it. And I had a guy recently, I found out he had bought, he's a buddy at my, he bought my book. Oh, I went to Amazon and bought it. And I was like, why'd you do that? And he's like, this is how you know is, are you the friend that will support your friend or are you the friend that when your buddy gets it, then you try to milk it, right? Yeah. And tickets is, that's easy. That's all that kind of stuff, it's easy. But there's something about those of that hard ass set that's like, oh, you're really in my corner. Because it meant, it meant, you got to participate in your body's success by putting 20 bucks down and having somebody mail you that book. Like that was, you get to participate in this instead of, hey man, hey man, hey man, yeah, I get that. Yeah. And it's like, my family's great. I mean, they've never, you know, I've had plenty of tensions with my family, but it's never over anything like that. I used to drink a lot and I think a lot of my family, and well, friends too, thought I was much more fun when I used to drink. And it is true. I was a more fun person, but I don't, I don't know, I just feel like I'm like, I don't have to be fun. You know what I mean? Like I feel like there's this thing where we feel like we have to be fun. And I'm like, I don't know why I have to be fun all the time. People invite me out after shows and I go, I go, you just saw the most fun version of me. It gets way less fun after this. It's funny that people come stay in our house and I've had that exact like, oh, y'all just go to bed at nine. And I'm like, yeah, I'm exhausting to be around. It's exhausting to be in my skin. I want to go to bed and read a book. And I think people think there's going to be a disco ball at my house like when we get home, it really gets kicks off and like, no, I'm not fun. Yeah, I get it. I kind of drag actually. Well, yeah. And I used to, when I used to drink, I mean, I was all about it. I didn't like, I drank a ton, but I didn't drink alone. I wanted to go out. I wanted to go out to the bar and be around people drinking party and that was fun. But when I quit drinking, I was like, I kind of struggled with it a little bit where I was like, oh, I'm not really fun now. But I'm like, oh, why do I have to be fun? Where is it anywhere that says we need to be fun? Well, it's less even that. There's the fun, there's the this, whatever it is. This alcohol, this, whatever drug, it makes me a tougher version of myself or a sharper version. Like, there's something beneath that, which is the version of myself that is real isn't enough. It's not good enough. Yeah. I gotta go beat this other thing so that I can get your approval stranger, right? Or five people who just came to my thing and wanna, you know what I mean? Yeah. That's tougher than just not drinking. Like what you just said is a really powerful shift. And I'm okay with me. How do you get there? Right. That's the nightmare. You talk to people who struggle alcohol? Alcohol's not the problem. Alcohol works. Alcohol's awesome. It works. It gets you what you want. People who cheat on their wives all the time. People who like, put any vice down, that thing helps. The real issue is, I don't like being me and my skin. And I need to be somebody else so that I can feel okay. Yeah. That's the nightmare. Yeah, I mean, you know, and you know, two things for me, religion. I guess you could call it religion. I mean, I'm Christian. I mean, I don't really go to a church. So I don't know if it's religion. You know, it's, but it is relatively Christianity. It is Jesus. I'm not just a spiritual person. Right. And then, you know, comedy. I mean, those two things, when I quit drinking, it's like, when I quit drinking, I was reading my Bible all the time and I almost stopped doing comedy. I was like, I was just kind of hobbyist anyway. And then I was like, I don't know. Maybe I don't even need this. And then I, but I kept doing it. And then I was like, I found that I really enjoyed it and actually liked it more when I wasn't drinking. But then finding, you know, confidence in that, you know, I'm good at comedy. It helps. And then you're like, okay, I don't have to be these other things to people. I can just be a comic and know that I'm good at this. And then I get laughs that way. So I don't need to get laughs everywhere I go in my life. But where does that root grow from? That's tough. Is it all faith? Just the sense that I'm loved, plus something bigger than me and I'm good? Yeah, I think so. And then it's like, you know, you kind of realize that, you know, while you do need things while you're on earth, it's like, they don't really matter. Huh. It's like, I like that I've made money. I like that I have fun things and a car that starts every time. But if I were to be back to a place where I didn't have those things, I think I would be okay. And maybe in some ways, even happier because you have less things to worry about. Like when I lived in apartments and a storm was coming through, I wasn't worried because I'm like, is it not my apartment? You know what I mean? The tree falls on who cares? But when I first moved into a house, I had this giant tree in my backyard and the wind would just whip this tree around. And I'm like, that tree's gonna crush my house. And then every storm I was worried about this tree crushing my house. Yeah. And then even when there's not a storm, it's always like, I probably need to get that tree removed. It's just this little voice like, I probably need to get that tree cut down. I don't want to cut that tree down. I love that tree. Oh, what are you going to do? It cost five thousand, I'm not cutting that tree down. It never stops, till the next storm, right? There's a rooting there that is so powerful. And I hate to throw it all back on religion, which I think is, that's a root for me, which is like none of this matters, right? And when I, it can open my hands to that and underneath the nothing, this doesn't matter as much as, I'm loved whether I fail at my job or I don't have a good year or you're like, you and I are together, we're 100% commission, right? Yeah. We're small business people basically. Yeah. If I don't have a good year, I still have intrinsic value and that's okay. And in a weird way, that has freed me to repel off even further down. I don't know, I have found a similar thing, it needs to be better. But there's something about comics too that's a daily interaction with failure that I think our whole culture tries to insulate us from. Yeah, and also, with even like going higher in comedy, like, let's say Hollywood, that sort of thing, like it's like, yeah, I go to LA and I take meetings and I'm like, if things happen great, you know? But if they don't happen, it's okay, I have comedy. I still like what, and I'm not mad at anyone. I go take meetings, I'm not nervous in the meetings, I'm not like, oh, I really need this. I go, if this happens great, but if it doesn't, that's okay. My kids love me and my wife likes me most of the time. Yeah, and my kids would probably like it if I didn't get this because I'll be home more. Yeah. That was a hard thing for me to wrap my, it took me years with my oldest, like, he doesn't want anything but me. And I think I got to the level where, I took me a long time to believe that, you know what I mean? Or he's only gonna like me if, almost like you're like, if I'm cool, or if I'm the, like, he doesn't care. He doesn't know any different. He's just like, you're my dad. Yeah. Can we shoot each other with a water hose and put them out? Like, I just want to do whatever you're doing, I want to do that. And that was hard for me. Oh yeah. Well, I feel like that, I don't know, I spend too much time thinking about things, but it's like, you know, you look back at like, grandfathers, even great-grandfathers, they were like around in World War One. And then, you know, then you have World War Two. And then you have like, I don't know, the great depression was somewhere in between there or before. So it's like, you have all these like, great-grandparents and grandparents growing up in these really hard times. And oftentimes, probably not that nice to their kids because their lives are hard. Right. So then the next generation may be a little nicer to their kids, but their lives are still hard. To where you get to like kind of the baby boomer generation that takes so much flack from everyone all the time. Yeah. You know, but it's like, you know, who knows what their parents were like? Like, I know, like I have relatives that have abusive parents, you know, and then course. And then you go, and then you find out that their parent was like more abusive than them. And then how far does it go back towards like each year or each generation, they're like a little less abusive? Right. Yeah. So it's like, it's still abusive, but to the abuser, they're like, well, you should see what I was getting right. Right to where we're now like, you know, we're dealing with our parents and whatever they had to do. You know, so I feel like we're all like in a way, getting a little better, like maybe softer, but like a little better. Well, and there is that tension. I remember talking with a veteran, and it maybe was World War II or World War I. When they said this, it never occurred to me. They said, there weren't no deployments. You didn't, like, good deploy for nine months. You went overseas and fought until that was over. Oh, wow. Maybe a year, maybe two years, maybe three. Like, you came home if you lived when the fighting was done. And to now where I'm like, hey, I need to sit my son down. Like, I'm gonna miss three months from now. I'm gonna miss this cross country. I mean, because I have a thing, man. I'm really, I'm letting you down. You know what I mean? Yeah. It's like that. You're good, man. And it's this, I don't know. I think there's a way I can get you to buy something as if I make you feel guilty. And I think that's a great, it's a great marketing move to get me to need to buy everything for my kids. And to do everything for my kids, because I'm not enough. Whereas, yeah, if you just go back three generations or one generation, they're gonna be fine. Yeah. And in fact, listening to my son retell the story without me telling him what I saw, what how he could have moved different him retelling it is awesome too, right? Yeah. It's just, I don't know. I don't know there's a place where I'll ever exhale and say, I'm doing this great. You know what I mean? And that's the nightmare of being a parent, I guess. Yeah, and who knows? I mean, and it's like, if you're like me, if I'll have a lot of Instagram channels where everybody's giving advice, and then if you take all the advice and combine it all, you're like, oh, I can't do anything. No, because I can't. If I eat this, it kills me. If you don't eat that, it kills you. Right. And then if you're doing this workout, or if you're on this, or if you're running Wi-Fi, I talk about Wi-Fi all the time. People think I'm crazy, because I turn off my Wi-Fi at night at home, and people go, oh, I need some kind of weirdo. And the guy who brought my Wi-Fi box from the company on the pamphlet, it was like, you know, causes reproductive harm or cancels on their own pamphlet. And now I'm crazy for sale. Right, right, right. Yeah. And I'm like, you know, so you just try to stay away from all these things. I don't want my kids addicted to the phone, the way that I'm addicted to the phone. Yeah, totally. And I didn't even grow up with a phone, and I'm addicted to it. No, it's the most public cocaine offering ever, ever handed to all of us. That's why I have to go outside and do things. Yes, yeah. Because if I don't, I'm on my phone. I'm like, it's so hard to be off my phone, but if I get outside, I'm cool. I'm hanging, I'm breathing fresh air. I got sinus thing going on right now from all the fresh air. That's an important thing for folks who want to stop a thing. I'm gonna stop drinking. I'm gonna stop looking pornography so much. I want to stop being on my phone all the time. I want to stop whatever is stopping something is good, but there's a value in what's the replacement for that? And like cool, stop drinking great. That was feeling something. So what are you gonna, what positive thing, and maybe it's just going to bad, dude. Maybe it's just getting a small gang. Yeah. Maybe it's, I need to stop being on my screen. I mean, we can just like turn it off and just sit there and like, white knuckle it, or what positive thing can you do? Well, that's a hard thing for me on the road, right? When I'm home, I can find plenty to do to not be on my phone. But when I'm on the road, I'm in a hotel. And I'm like, what am I supposed to be doing? What am I supposed to do? I, you know, I got smoked cigars sometimes. But is that good? Yeah. And I'm like, I started getting tattoos in every town I went to. That was a terrible idea. Yeah. It was like, I don't want to go to bars. That's gonna be stupid. I got to do something. Yeah. Yeah. That's always a difficult job. Yeah. What do you do? What do you, you know, and I, I bought a, I was gonna start carving wood. I bought a little wood carving. That didn't go for it. It didn't go any further than me buying the wood carving set. I'm gonna be whittling in the hotel room. So we live in a culture that has most households or dual households. People are both working. And it's not every household, but almost everyone. And this is, we can extrapolate this out to every, every family here. But this one's a personal question for me. I write, part of my life is writing books. And I work for a place that's got its own publishing machine, right? And it can get books out everywhere in the world. My wife, who was Dr. Deloney before me, waste smarter. She's an infinitely better writer, also writes. And she has a rule I can't post about her books. I can't put it out there. She wants this to be hers. And at the end of every year, when we sit down and say, who sold the most books, like the metric that the world says matters. Like there's tension there, right? And you used to be on the road with your wife. You all both did comedy. How have you all navigated? And again, this is, I'm a writer that not everyone listening, very few people listening to our writers or comics, but there is the, he works in construction as she's a nurse or she works at a law firm and he does whatever. There's always that competitive tension. How have you all navigated that in your house? Well, my wife, Quick Comedy, when she was good in a lot of ways, because she didn't really like work in the road. And so she kind of wanted to quit, but she was an actress before we met. She did stuff in Canada and she likes that aspect. But when she quit comedy, she was off the road for a couple of years and that's when we decided to have kids. So it worked out well for us, but I think there is still a thing. She still have ghosts about that. Well, yeah, a little bit she'll do Instagram and she's very good at that. And a lot of ways she's more driven than me to create. She's always thinking of ideas, but it kind of takes over for her. Whereas I'm like, I don't know, I feel like I'm a pretty good, I'm in a good place with comedy where I can just write on stage. I just go to the club, I write on stage and it just doesn't obsess my mind. I've seen you do that and I will never understand walking out with nothing and letting it go. Yeah, such a cutscene move. Well, it's over time that's built up that way. I was never like that. I wasn't like that for a long time. It's amazing to watch. But I feel like when we used to travel together, it was really hard because my wife would open for me and if she didn't do well, but you did well. But I did well, it'd be hard for her. And then if she did well and then I didn't do well, she would get mad at me and she would go, you gotta do better. If I'm gonna be opening for you, you gotta do better. Do you have marriage advice for folks who one person's in a season of blessing and one is not? You know, I don't really know, I'm not really one for marriage advice too much, but I just think that, you know, when it comes to marriage, it's like you gotta agree on things, you know, and it's like, if one is more successful than the other, then I just feel like you gotta ride that out. You guys gotta go, hey, you know, you're making the money. I'm gonna support you and you both gotta stay grounded and not think that, you know, it's just you. I always have to come back to if my wife is winning, we're winning. Yeah. That's easy to put like, stitch into a pillow or put on a homework card. The reality that's tough, or I gotta be able to say, I'm jealous that her book is 100 times better than mine. Yeah. And, and my wife's very similar. She loves the act of getting up and riding. It's a nightmare for me. It's a thing I have to do. And then I'm a part of a machine. So the thing that I hate the most about my job pays our bills. Yeah. And the thing that she craves and loves, right? Does it, isn't as markedly successful, but it's that if I have a wife that's creative and is actively involved in a project, our whole house, that flows through our home. We're all winning, right? Yeah. Even if that means on certain months, I'm doing more dishes or I'm doing more laundry or I'm taking the kids or doing more bed times or whatever, and vice versa, right? Yeah. But that's the only way I can make sense of it. Well, you know, I mean, there's like, once you start competing in your house, I think that's a bad road to go down. Yes, for sure. Because yeah, I mean, it's all about teamwork, right? I mean, and I like that my wife's at home. I really enjoy it. I mean, I'm all about her doing other things, but I think my dreams of raising a family and having all the, they don't work without my wife, without everything that she does at home, it doesn't work without her. I can't go make money for our family, the way that I want to without her. I don't trust anybody. I don't trust anyone with my kids. So without my wife, none of that works. You know, so it's like, yeah, I may be, you know, on the poster, I may be on Netflix, I may be on the marquee, but without my wife, none of it works. I'm not able to do it. I'm like the little light bulb in the lighthouse. But man, she's that whole tower that thinks, that's the way it is in my house. None of this happens without that. Yeah, I mean, and it's like my kids get raised the way that I want them to be raised, and it's like, and the way that she wants them to be raised. And we have beautiful kids in there, you know, well-minded, most of the time. Wow, kids. Yeah, and, but it's like, it doesn't work without my wife. And it's like, that's more important to me than comedy. I mean, comedy is great. I mean, it's provided a good life for me, but it's more important that, you know, we have a good family and our kids have a good life. What do you tell the 28-year-old man or woman who's listening to this and who has said, and honestly, it's like, it's almost a math problem. Like, A plus B plus C equals, I don't have kids. Financially, relationally, like, it's actually, I don't, it's just gonna, I can see the algorithm where this blows up everything that is my life. I don't wanna do that. On this side of it, what would you tell somebody? Well, you know, it's like, people, I feel like people that get married later in life like I did, say, I wish I had done this 10 years ago. And then people who do it 10 years. That's almost every, yeah, I wish I'd waited. Yeah, they, but, I mean, to me personally, I wish that I had just had, you know, kind of people around me like guy, that then I don't think people knew and just intentionally didn't guide me. I think I just didn't have the right people around me. I wish that they would have been somebody that could really talk to me about drinking and giving me some direction in life and saying, hey, this kind of road that you're on, it doesn't lead anywhere. Cause I have a few jokes about drinking that are very funny, but I could have wrote those jokes in drinking for two years. I didn't need to do it for 10. A decade, yeah. And I could have got started on things a lot sooner. I could have had kids at 25 rather than, you know, 39. Do you beat yourself up over that decade or do you give yourself some grace over? I, you know, it is what it is. So I don't really beat myself up, but I do wish that I could have got started sooner. And that's what I would say. I mean, it's like people, so many people are like, well, I want to live my life a little bit before, you know, I get locked down or whatever. And I would say that, that is life. This isn't, yeah, the substance, and I'm gonna say like the substitute, what wasn't life? Right. And it's like, you know, the, the men around me, and I don't mean like my, my dad, and so I just mean men that I would work with that were older men were giving me such bad advice. They might have thought it was good advice, but they would be talking about marriage and they're like, oh, you're gonna get, you know, you get married one day and it'll just be one woman for the rest of your life. So just explore the field. You don't know, well, that's the worst advice you could have given me. Because, you know, it's like there's a, Ecclesiastes verse, I think it's chapter seven, verse six, or it could be the opposite, but it says, all man's efforts are for his mouth, yet his appetite is never satisfied. It's like, there's no amount of like sinning that you're gonna do, that one day you go, all right, that's good. I did it. I'm satisfied now. Let's get into a wholesome life, huh? You know, and yeah, you're just gonna have mental scars that then you're like, oh, if I just followed the biblical way and just did the way that God wanted me to live my life, then I would be on a much better trajectory. Yeah, but I feel like this way, and I watched a guy recently, I wish I knew the video, but it was a YouTube video. It came out like four or five years ago, but just suddenly popped into everyone's algorithm. But he was just talking about what the 90s did to us, and then he goes through all the movies and what it was teaching us and all the music videos and what it was teaching us. And I love the 90s, but when you look back on that stuff, you go, oh, you were just pre-programmed, programming me to be a degenerate. And then when I was out here just, you know, drinking and getting high and the people go, what are you doing? And I go, well, this is what I've been programmed to do. You know, and it's like, it's just a waste. I'm not saying it's not fun, but it's a waste. Yeah. I, one of the most revealing moments of my life was, the group of guys we got together every Monday night, we were like degenerate good guys, right? Not great, but, and then his name was John. He had, got, he came and announced it. He was pregnant. First one of my kids, first one of my body said, kid, they have the kid and within two months, he's not hanging out with us anymore. And I, his wife's a grrrr, one of my greatest friends in the world, but I went to, gosh, he's the worst, man. He has one kid and he can't even go out anymore. Months, months, a couple years later, I have my kid, my first kid. And we were out one night and I said, he had never occurred to me. You weren't hanging out with us, not because your wife was saying, but because you would rather sit on the couch and hold this tiny little lump of a human that you'd made. And I was like, why didn't you tell me? And he smiled and he goes, because you wouldn't have, you wouldn't have heard it. There's nothing I could have said that would have made sense to you other than, oh, I'm done playing video games with these idiots. I'm gonna be here. You know what I mean? I know exactly what you mean. Because I had so, so many friends that had kids way before me. I mean, one of my best friends, his daughter, my oldest daughter is four years old, his oldest daughter is 17, right? They had him way before me. When I finally had a daughter, I apologize to so many of my friends. Oh, I have two also. I just go, I'm so sorry guys, I had no idea. It was this thing of like, we used to say it all the time, oh, he's whipped. Yes, it is. That's why life just runs his house. He can't do anything. And then you get married and you have kids and you go, oh, I, it's not that my wife won't let me do anything. I just respect my wife. I really love my wife. I wanna hang out with her. Well, yeah, it never occurred to me, this is a couple years ago when I learned the single greatest predictor of a great marriage is are you all friends? Yeah. And I remember me like, oh, I can work on that. And then when there's like a pile of wet towels, if my buddy Todd comes to my house, if you came over and you left five cans of, I guess you're not drinking. So of sprite on the counter, I wouldn't go into an existential tale spin about what is Dusty trying to tell me? What is he trying to, I would just pick the cans up. Yeah. And the next time you were really like, dude, pick your cans up and pass the nachos, right? But for some reason, my wife does that I'm like, what is she trying to say? What is, oh, she's my friend, pick up a can. You know, you're going about your life. And when I realized like, oh, we could make a friendship where I'd rather just hang out here. And I can't do the math. I can't tell my buddy is like, who aren't married or who's married as a struggling like, I'd rather watch Matt lock next to her with my long leg, hairy leg, 15 year old son next to me, then, or it's even hard for me honestly to tell 30 year old me, hey, there's this event, 3,000 people want to pay money to come see you talk. I'd rather go to that soccer game at nine a.m. My girl's my daughter's soccer game. My 30 year old me is like, what are you talking about? We've dreamt about this. And it's like, yeah, but this actually is kind of more awesome. Yeah, well, yeah, I mean, I go through that all the time. Like, I'll get an offer to go to LA and do a thing. And I go, I don't know guys, I got a lot going, I'm gonna, if I do that, then I'm going this weekend. And then I'm in LA all week. And then I'm going next weekend. There'd be nine days I'm not home with my kids. I don't want to do that. And for 30 girl me, I feel like he's just yelling in my head like, what are you talking about now? I finally get, it's like, yeah, it's just a weird thing. Yeah, but that thing about your buddy, that's so real for me. I whenever I'm like, a mind would get married and have kids. And I'd go, oh, what a loser. I get so sad for you. And he just home on a Friday night. And now I'm like, well, yeah. With my best friend on the planet. Yeah, yeah, that's awesome. You didn't want to get kicked out of the bar with me. You want to tell the same football stories again? And go like recreate ship hellclips at a over bad nachos. Yeah, you're good. And I like those things actually. And I also am not prepared, I wasn't prepared for. There is sometimes when I'm sitting at a soccer game and I'm like, I wish I was on the road right now. And that's okay too, right? There's, there's sometimes and I'm like, I can't hear the same Wolf Dragon story again. You know what I mean? I think I'm gonna run down and do a set down the street or I'm gonna go call my buddy and go like, there is that too. And that's also a real part of being a parent, right? It's not all, I love it all. But it's, I mean, I tell my kids to go play. I don't go play. Exactly. I'm not a real life video game for you. Yeah, go be bored. Yeah. What we'll wrap up with this. And if that don't mean to end on a heavy note. But if you could be a fly on the wall at your funeral, what would you want your daughter when she's reading the Eulogy Sheerite's about you? What would you want her to say? Because there's gonna be comics in the room being like, one time and then there's this. But then she walks up. What would you want her to say about my dad, Dusty? Well, yeah, I mean, that is a heavy question. Well, but I, you know, I think I just want her to know that I was there for her when she needed me to be there. And I cared about her and I spent as much time with her as I could. And yeah, I mean, I think that just being there for someone and just caring about their life. Because, you know, it's like, I wanna believe that I can just give my kids advice and then they just take it. And then they never have problems because they go, well, my dad lived through this and now he has the experience. So what he told me matters. So I'll just not make any of my own mistakes because my dad already made them all for me. I'd like to believe that, but I know that's not a reality necessarily. Now, I think you can take some advice but people are still gonna make their own mistakes. But yeah, I mean, I'd like for her to say that, yeah, my dad made me important in his life that I was important to him and that he was there for me. Having like, yeah. My son too, for that matter. Yeah, for me. He's fine. He's on his own. Yeah. Having that, I like that. Having this idea that like my kid knew that's home base. Yeah. That's it. There's always a door I can walk through. Yeah, you know, there's a John Anderson song called, wish I could have been there. You know, and he's just talking about all these moments that he missed with his kids because he had to work. And he was a truck driver. He probably didn't have any other options. That's right. Yeah. But I always think about that. And I'm like, well, I want to be there. When I can't be there for everything because there's gonna be things that I miss. Regardless if I'm a comedian or if I'm, you know, I work at loads. Wind to wash or yeah. It's gonna be things that I miss. But, you know, I want to be there for things. But there's something that also, some of the research says about being there is the intensity of the time, not the volume of the time. And so that's like when I do get off the road when I do get off the air, do I walk home with my phone open? Do I walk home and immediately whip my laptop out or put the TV on or when I'm with them, am I with them? Right? And that's been a powerful shift for me too. Which is why I take full laser focus of the time I do have. Yeah, I mean, I for sure struggle with that. But I do try to like, I don't know, I read a thing where it's like if you're on your phone and your kid comes up to you, just immediately respond to them, you know? Yeah, yeah. Even if you end up going back to the phone, just immediately respond to them. That's right. Make eye contact and say, yeah, I'm finishing this. Maybe I read that from you. But, I'm pretty sure with that, let's get it. I mean, I do follow you on Instagram and I might have read that from you. But, but yeah, and I've been trying to. I was a failure, right? I was like, my dad was like, Dad, dad, I'm like, hold on, hold on. And I could have just put it down but like, I need two seconds to finish this. And then I got you. And that's a, it's just a way to treat somebody with dignity, right? Yeah. And I read that and, yeah, I mean, I've been exercising that. That's awesome. Where I'm like, yeah, I mean, it's like, because it's like, when I was growing up, my dad would read the paper, my dad would watch TV, my mom would watch TV. It's like, well, it's just the technology's changed. Right? But the, you know, so it's like, there's people are still doing things the same way they always did. But now it's different, but the phone can suck you in. Oh, man, yeah. And I didn't think about that. We're mad about this, I contact, but most of us grew up behind this. Yeah. Right. I could even see your torso. Yeah. I mean, I call my dad now and he still has the volume on 110 on the TV. And I'm talking to him and he's watching something. Yeah. What? Yeah. Yeah. Well, dude, thank you for coming on. And I want to say thank you for just, I get to see you behind closed doors. And thank you for being kind to me. Yeah. You think you're being hospitable and welcoming. And for being a good coach, teaching me how all stuff works. And man, I think right now in the times we live in, there's a reason comedy sets such a wild resurgence. And I think it's because like real comics are the last truth tellers. But more importantly, what people desperately more than anything is, can I just be in a crowded room of strangers and have a shared human experience? Can I have one hour where I can just laugh? And it's, that there is no greater pharmaceutical need right now in this country than can we put the phones down and go and, you literally have to put your phone in the bag and just have a shared moment with strangers. And somebody just tells the truth for a while. Yeah. And I'm doing that. Well, thank you. It's a, it's a, it's a, it's a holy, and I don't see that in like the cosmically religion, is a holy gift in this current world we live in right now. It is amazing. I mean, like, I don't mean what I do, but I mean this, this comedy thing is like, you sometimes I, you know, you know, meet people after the shows and it's just like, I'm not gonna say it's a wide variety of people, but I have a variety of people. And I have a wide variety of ages. I do have. And it's pretty awesome to see that just people, like that's why, that's what I always tell people about my show. I don't necessarily recommend kids to come because I do have some adult subjects. Nothing dirty, but it's a good one. I love my kids. Yeah. It's good. But I, it is something that, you know, if you're like in your 20s and you wanna bring your parents to the show, you can bring them and laugh together at my comedy and it's gonna be fun. You're not gonna be embarrassed that you brought your aunt to my show. No. And that's what I think is fun. I've had a lot of people tell me that, that they've been able to bond with this family member or this family member over my comedy. And that's why I don't talk politics because, you know, first of all, probably no one wants to hear it from me, but it also, it's just, I'm not like ESPN used to be one of my favorite things, but it's, I think it's, yeah. It's so, and I'm like, sports used to be this thing where you're like, you just watch baseball. It doesn't matter what you look like. Who you are, you just enjoy baseball. But now everything has some social justice angle to it. You can just come in a comedy room and just, and that's why I come to, yeah. I'm just here to hear me talk about how I make stupid small talk choices, you know? I'll say this the other night after you show, I went home, my son is an obsessive growth Brooks fan. And I called him and my wife in and I was like, have y'all listened to this song? I won't ruin it because that's a great bit. People you see that live and my wife was like, yeah, it's an awful song. And I was like, I didn't know that. And my son was like, what do you mean? And we just walked to the lyrics together and we're all like, oh gosh. That's awesome, man, it's fantastic. Well, thank you. I mean, I, I've been trying to work on that bit for a long time, years. It was a home run. Yeah, thank you. It was a home run. I've been working on that bit. Now I'll put it to the side and then, no, it's back, it's back. Yes. And though, I don't get too nerdy, the way you split, it could have been this, or it could have been this. Yeah. That was the entry point. And that was perfect. That's the new angle. That's perfect. It helped it to come alive again. Awesome. Could be this. Yeah. Well, thanks for being my friend. I'm grateful for it, Berlin. Thank you.