The Jamie Kern Lima Show

The 3 Tools You Need to Master Arguments Now, Plus the #1 Way to Diffuse One! With Jefferson Fisher

35 min
Jun 10, 2025about 1 year ago
Listen to Episode
Summary

Trial attorney and communication expert Jefferson Fisher shares three evidence-based tools for mastering arguments and conversations: conversational breathing to regulate emotions, quick scanning to identify and label stress in the body, and small talk (personal mantras) to reinforce desired communication behaviors. The episode emphasizes that controlling yourself first is the foundation for controlling difficult conversations.

Insights
  • Physiological regulation through breathing is the primary lever for preventing escalation—controlling breath prevents fight-or-flight activation and keeps the analytical brain engaged during conflict
  • Emotional awareness through body scanning creates psychological distance from feelings, shifting from 'I am angry' to 'I am experiencing anger,' which restores agency and decision-making power
  • Personal communication mantras (small talks) anchored to verbs and personal values serve as real-time redirects that align behavior with identity, functioning as mini-huddles with oneself
  • Reframing conflict as a signal of threat rather than malice enables curiosity instead of defensiveness, transforming how one interprets and responds to aggressive communication
  • Staying calm in conflict is a leadership signal that builds respect and positions the regulated person as someone others turn to for guidance
Trends
Growing mainstream adoption of tactical breathing and physiological regulation techniques from military/SEAL training into civilian communication coachingShift toward somatic (body-based) approaches to emotional regulation rather than purely cognitive or talk-therapy modelsIncreased focus on self-regulation as prerequisite for healthy relationships and leadership, moving beyond blame-focused conflict resolutionRise of short-form video content teaching practical communication skills to millions, indicating high consumer demand for accessible conflict resolution toolsIntegration of neuroscience and physiology into communication training, legitimizing emotional regulation as a learnable skill rather than personality trait
Topics
Conversational breathing and physiological sigh techniqueFight-or-flight response and emotional regulationBody scanning for stress identificationEmotional labeling and psychological detachmentPersonal communication mantras and small talkConflict de-escalation strategiesTrial preparation and witness credibilityLeadership communication under pressureToxic conversation shutdown techniquesArgument avoidance and selective engagementSelf-worth and communication confidenceReframing conflict as threat-responseCuriosity-based communicationVerb-based affirmations vs. traditional affirmationsCommunication control and personal power
Companies
It Cosmetics
Jamie Kern Lima's billion-dollar company founded after overcoming self-doubt, referenced as context for her authority...
People
Jefferson Fisher
Guest expert sharing three tools for mastering arguments and communication, author of 'The Next Conversation: Argue L...
Jamie Kern Lima
Podcast host and interviewer, founder of It Cosmetics, author of 'Worthy'
Quotes
"You don't have to attend every argument you are invited to."
Jefferson FisherApprox. 45:00
"When you can claim it, you control it."
Jefferson FisherApprox. 32:00
"Your body is the one that keeps the stress. It's just your convincing yourself otherwise."
Jefferson FisherApprox. 35:00
"In life, we don't become what we want. We become what we believe we're worthy of."
Jamie Kern LimaApprox. 58:00
"When you yell, you're trying to make the threat go away. It's the same exact thing we do with our words."
Jefferson FisherApprox. 50:00
Full Transcript
Today you're going to learn how to master arguments in your life. You asked for it and backed by popular demand, Communication Phenom and Trial Attorney Jefferson Fisher is here to talk with you and me today about three tools to help you master arguments and conversations plus the number one way to diffuse an argument and the one phrase that immediately shuts down a toxic conversation. Jefferson Fisher is a trial lawyer, a fifth generation award winning attorney, writer and speaker. His work has gained him millions of followers all over the world through short simple practical social media videos teaching people how to argue less and talk more. Whether it's handling a heated conversation, dealing with a difficult personality or standing your ground with confidence, Jefferson helps you communicate during life's everyday arguments and conversations and his brand new book called The Next Conversation. Argue less, talk more is out now. Jefferson says you can change everything about your life by what you say next and you and I are in for a treat because Jefferson has stepped away from his busy legal practice. He got on an airplane, he flew here to be with you and me today. Whether you're listening for yourself or because someone that you love shared this episode with you, I want to welcome you to the Jamie Kern Lima show podcast family. Remember this episode is not just for you and me. Please share this with every single person you know because it can change their life too. Before we jump into this episode, I'd be so grateful if you take two seconds to click on the follow or subscribe button on the app you're listening or watching the podcast on. It'll help you because you're going to be the very first to get the episodes and it's going to help the show because by you following it, it's more likely to be promoted to others to discover. And if you leave a five star review, that would be even more amazing. And just thank you so much. This is our show together and it truly means so much to me. Jamie Kern Lima's her name. Everybody needs Jamie Kern Lima in their life. Jamie Kern Lima. Jamie, you're so inspiring. Jamie Kern Lima. Jefferson Fisher. Welcome to the Jamie Kern Lima show. Thank you so much for having me, Jamie. I'm honored to be here. I'm so excited you're here. Wow. What has happened with you, with your advice, with your videos, it has become a phenomenon. Thank you. Very sweet. Thank you. Yeah, it's truly been a blessing and right now I'm just holding on. Yeah. Yeah. Well, I'm excited so much to dive into today. I am so excited to talk to you about arguments, how we master arguments and communication and the tools that we can apply to master arguments. You talk about, you know, one of the most powerful ways to diffuse an argument, the one phrase that shuts down a toxic conversation. And I want to ask you about three tools though that you teach that I think are so powerful, you know, your new book, the next conversation that I've read cover to cover. It is just packed with things we can apply to our life right now. But I want to ask you about specifically, you know, when it comes to mastering arguments and conversations because we all have them and some of us have them but avoid them. Some of us don't want to deal with them. Some of us don't know how. Some of us let them take us down. Some of us let them, you know, feel deeply personal. We don't know how to handle them. Maybe we didn't learn from our parents or we didn't learn from how we were raised or, you know, school. And, you know, I think that these are the tools that can fundamentally change all the relationships in your life. And so three tools you talk about when it comes to mastering arguments and conversations. When you talk about conversational breath, quick scan and a small talk. Yes. These are all about saying it with control. So when you think about a conversation that turns into an argument, like it's just that sense that the tone didn't sound right. I don't like how they said that. And all of a sudden things start to spur in your mind and maybe your nostrils start to flare and you start to kind of bow up a little bit. Or somebody says a word that's not kind and you start to spiral. Did they just say what I think they said? When those things kind of happen, thoughts start to speed up. So does your breath. Your breath gets faster like you're ready to run. That's your fight or flight. You're ready to run and or you're ready to hurt. So you really want to say that, that hurtful word. You want the word to cut because you're wanting that threat of whatever they said or whatever they did to go away. They just undermine me. Your body says, I don't like that. Hey. I don't like that. And all of a sudden you start to get defensive. A conversational breath, the power of it is it allows you to sink back down to make sure that your emotions stay in check or you don't feel emotionally flooded. It always keeps your logical, analytical side of your brain in motion. Same thing with Navy SEALs and military. They do tactical breathing. So what a conversational breath does, it takes advantage of the research that's already out there on what they call a physiological sigh. And so it's injecting a sigh into your breath without sounding like one, but you get the benefits of it. And how you do it as you breathe in and at the very top, you breathe in just a little bit more, one second and you release. And so always the exhale needs to be a little bit longer than the inhale. So it's typically a two second inhale and a one second at the top. And then you got about a five to seven or five, six second exhale. And you just do that often. That's going to be your first breath that you take. That's going to allow you to continue to keep your analytical side engaged before you go into that argument. It's going to keep you calm every single time. So that's the power of a conversational breath. It's like swimming, but you never have to go up for air. It allows you to stay locked in the zone. So it changes your body. It really does. It takes advantage of what you know about your body. What do we know? We know that we engage in fight or flight. You get that threat, that trigger and all of a sudden I'm on fire. The breath does. It's the number one way of pulling yourself down and saying, no, no, no, there's no threat. I'm not going to be emotionally overloaded in this moment. I'm going to make sure I'm locked in. And that's what happens when you say calm, the person goes, starts a rapid, rapid, rapid and they try to draw you in. That's the, that's where the power is, is you're allowing yourself to stay calm in that moment and somebody being calm in the face of conflict is a very, and it's an impressive moment when you see people that calm in the face of fear or face of stress, it's, it's a, it's a sign that this person is emotionally regulated. They know how to keep themselves in check. This is so good because, you know, in a leadership role, if you're leading a team, if you're head of the family, if any of it, right? And you are the one that's able to keep your calm in these situations. People automatically respect you and they automatically see you as the person to turn to for leadership. And, you know, so much of our, for many of us, our humanness, you know, we react so fast, like, what did you say? Wait, what? Uh-uh, did you wait? You know, I mean, it's just so easy to do it. And so, so Jefferson, so this tool, this tool is big. Okay. Okay. Because this is how you get your power back. And this is how you don't lose your power in an argument, like when it's just getting started. So when you feel like an argument's happening or it's transpiring, you feel it brewing, do you do this right away? You just take a breath, you go in for a few seconds, you teach us one more time. I'm going to do it with you. Yeah. So it's going to be two seconds. Do it with us at home. Okay. One second at the top. And then about six seconds out. And it's allowing you to pull it out. If you can, you try and do it through your nose because it's smaller nasal passages, breath goes out slower. That calms you down. So it's, it's a way of when your mouth breathing all the time, you breathe in more oxygen and it triggers you a little bit more. It kind of keeps you in a low grade state of anxiety when you're always breathing with your mouth, breathing through your nose allows you to slow it down. So when you see, we ever see somebody that they're unhappy and they kind of, their nostrils flare and they go, like they're trying to, their body is in that moment without them even knowing it, tried to calm them down through their breathing. And so when you're able to concentrate on your breath, it truly, it's the number one thing, Jamie, that you can do to calm yourself in the moment before you escalate. Cause what happens if you don't take that breath is exactly what you said. It's the, excuse me. Did you say, and you start to just, boom, you're done. You're gone. And now you're in fight or fight. Yeah. It's extremely hard. Totally differently. Yeah. You've lost your power. And you're not the same person. You're not the same person. That's what I call the ignition phase. As soon as things start to turn to friction and they combust, you're now ignited and now your, your pupils, they'll dilate. You ever seen that? They, they'll dilate to make sure that you have, you're focused in. So your focus narrows. So you can concentrate on what's around you, make sure it's your body saying, do I need to run? Is there something under the bush where we got? I mean, you're, you're, that's why your palms feel sweaty. All of a sudden you don't, you don't feel hungry because your body's suppressing any hunger to get you ready to run. Your heartbeat goes faster. That's why people, they're a, they're voice will shake. Their eyes were water. It's their body preparing them to get going. People who want to leave a conversation. This, I know, will resonate with anybody. You've been in that conversation on the phone and all of a sudden you just, I just went out. People who want to leave a room, people who want to hang up the phone. It's the emotion. It's the overwhelm of their fight or flight going, get out of here. Get away from the threat. I just need to leave. So it's the same way with people. Let's say we have a couple that is there. They're not great at communicating. When they're in fight or flight, it is natural to want to pick up something and throw it. I mean, it's just what it is. And instead we do it with our words. The flip side of it is to run from that, your flight is, I want to leave. I want to slam the door. I want to get away from them. I don't want to talk to them anymore. It's the same exact concept. You're just doing it with your words. So good. And the second one, a second tool, you know, on this topic of mastering arguments, that's so good. Just that tool right there. That's really, really good. And again, I love that we can just do it because you're taking your power back. You're not going into fight or flight and you're not going to, you're less likely to do things you regret. You're more likely to be able to unravel and resolve. And ask yourself questions like, where's this coming from? And that's a very powerful question to ask yourself when you're taking that breath and it does, when I say conversational breath and walking through you with it here, that's exaggerated. You easily can do it and it does not look at all like you're doing it. I use conversational breaths, that physiological sigh before I go speak. I might do it in a moment where I might be nervous. Using that as a way to just calm my nerves. I'll stop shaking because my body's pumped up. It's excited. But it's a great time to ask yourself in moments of conflict, but where's that coming from to ask that from the other person in your mind when they make that comment, where's that coming from? How do they feel threatened? What is threatening them? And that's the secret of saying it with controls that you not only get to notice these symptoms or what triggers you, it's also showing you and revealing to you the signs in the other person that when you hear that raised voice from them, what it truly is, is a plea from their body to connect, to remove the threat. Wow. So you can apply this to every type of situation in your day to day life. And then when you have clients on the stand and you prep them like, okay, when this other attorney comes after you, like do you teach them this tool? You cannot take the bait and just react and go somewhere they don't want to go. It's one of my proudest moments when I can see a client who was struggling, getting nervous, they did not like it. I mean, what I do is I'm offering them to the wolves and for people to try to hurt their credibility, prove them wrong. And a lot of things are at stake. But when they take a breath and I walk it through them, I mean, it's always, we run through a list and one of the things I'll have them repeat is, now what's the first thing you do? And they said, my first word is my breath to allow them. When they get that question from the opposing attorney, they're going to breathe. They're not going to automatically engage because that's how you know that you're going to start to spiral unless you give it to them. But that's, that's the power of just a conversational breath allows you to do a whole lot more. All right. The second tool, there's so much more coming up in this episode. You are not going to want to miss it. But first I wanted to share this with you in life. You don't sort the level of your hopes and dreams. You stay stuck at the level of your self worth. When you build your self worth, you change your entire life. And that's exactly why I wrote my new book, Worthy, how to believe you are enough and transform your life for you. If you have some self doubt to destroy and a destiny to fulfill, Worthy is for you. In Worthy, you'll learn proven tools and simple steps that bring life changing results, like how to get unstuck from the things holding you back, build unshakable self love, unlearn the lies that lead to self doubt and embrace the truths that wake up worthiness, overcome limiting beliefs and imposter syndrome, achieve your hopes and dreams by believing you are worthy of them and so much more. Are you ready to unleash your greatness and step into the person you were born to be? Imagine a life with zero self doubt and unshakable self worth. Get your copy of Worthy plus some amazing thank you bonus gifts for you at worthybook.com or the link in the show notes below. Imagine what you do if you fully believed in you. My weekly free inspirational newsletter is packed with tips and tools to help you find out. It's called one on one with Jamie and it's delivered right to your inbox each Tuesday morning. It's a love letter from me to you, from my soul to yours and I hope it's a good one. Thank you for watching. I hope you enjoyed this video. From me to you, from my soul to yours and I hope it brings you the words and messages you need at just the right moment. Plus when you're part of my free inspirational newsletter community, you'll be the first to get behind the scenes content, inspirational messages and be the first to learn about upcoming events and more. It's the place to be and I sure hope you'll join me there. So if you're not on the list yet, you can sign up for free at JamieCurleyma.com or click the link in the show notes below and here's to becoming unstoppable together. And now more of this incredible conversation together. All right, the second tool, quick scan. Yes. Quick scan. Yes. So quick scanning is something that developed over meditating, which was new to me and it's the ability to scan your body in real time. Often if I am. I'm getting worked up. It's because my shoulders are really tense. My jaws, like I clench my jaw a lot. But I that's where I hold my stress or in my shoulders. So you can tell things when your fists are clenched. And what we do is we ignore those symptoms. So many times if you scan your body, meaning you're right now, if you just sat and go, OK, I'm just going to breathe. What's my body telling me? Where's my discomfort? Maybe you had a pain in your back. You didn't really realize you started your head and just kind of like, do you close your eyes or can you do it without anyone else knowing if you're like in a crowded room? Right. You can do it exactly where you are right now. OK, everyone at home, do this with us right now. You can you can you can do it. How to do this. Absolutely. You can do it right where you're sitting right now. So let's say even even if you're driving, you can do it too. It is the ability to start with your head and slowly scan down your body. And you're going to be looking for where you tight, where you holding your tension, where you where do you have your knots? It might be in your jaw. It might be behind your ears. It might be in your your shoulders. It might even be sometimes in your your feet of how you're positioning yourself. Where is the stress coming from? And what you need to do is find a word and it's going to come to you. A promise is going to come to you. You're going to find a word of how you're feeling in this moment. Let's take a second to think about it. What's the word that's coming to you in this moment? There's no right or wrong. And you know what? You don't have to find a word if you don't want to. It's just you're expressing the feeling. Your body knows it. And once you have it, try to say it in your head. And when you do, relax your body right in that moment. And automatically, you're going to feel more control of your your body. You're going to feel more control of your mind because what you're doing is you're finding in that moment where the stress is you're releasing it and you're labeling your emotions. What I say is when you can claim it, you control it. So when you can find that, for example, let's say I'm feeling tense or I'm feeling angry or impatient. I do this when I'm in the I'm going to say I make the grocery store is taking forever, which, yeah. A lot to be said there. But if I say to scam my body, say, patience or impatient, all of a sudden I'm now labeling what exactly I'm feeling in real time. And then I feel like, OK, it's separated from myself. I'm detaching from it. I am not the feeling. I'm only experiencing that feeling. And over time, what I've learned is it's you don't have to have this full top of the head to the bottom of the toes. The more you do it, the better you get at it. Like right now, I can tell you where I'm feeling tension or I'm carrying my my stress of all what's happening. And the more you understand where it's coming from, the better you're going to be able to ask questions about it, because your body is hiding stress as a wonderful book. The body keeps the score. I mean, it's just this idea of your body knows stress where you're keeping it way better than you do. I would be the first to tell you that two years ago, if you said, hey, do you get stressed? You have anxiety? I'd say no. No, I don't. And February of two years ago, I had my first panic attack. And I thought I was I thought I was dying. I thought I was having a heart attack because I was so convinced when the doctor came in, he goes, do you have anxiety? I said, no. I remember looking at my wife and like, tell him I don't have anxiety. I'm close to cucumber. And she looked at him. She like nodded like, yes, he does. So often your body is the one that keeps the stress. Is just your convention yourself otherwise. So doing a quick scan is a very easy, easy way that you can do at any time, anywhere that's going to allow you to better recognize how you're feeling in that moment. That's so good. Like, let's just say you're in a room with a group and someone's doing something and you're getting so angry, you're about to like say something or it's really bothering you. So in that moment, almost let anyone knowing it, you can just sort of scan your body. Yeah, have that word for sure. It might be frustration or, you know, disbelief or betrayal or whatever it might be. And in your mind, you're naming it. Yes. And then now you're sort of like able to observe it. You feel it in your body. You make the decision to sort of like release it if you can, or at least acknowledge it. And now you're more in control about, huh, maybe right now in this moment, I'm not going to roll my eyes at the person or I'm not going to get up and leave or I'm not going to say something I might regret. You kind of do this tool so that you're in control. Yes. And you can decide how am I going to respond? You got it. Yeah. In my mind, I have a desk. Like I have a desk. I have my file cabinets in my mind of what I like to do and think of with a quick scan. It's like I'm writing it down on a sheet of paper and I'm looking at it. And then I am making the choice to put it back down on the desk. As I'm not carrying it, I'm not putting it with me. I'm not putting in my pocket. I'm not wearing it. I have now observed it and go, huh, okay, that's anger. All right. That's good. And then I put it back down and you leave it and then you leave it. And it's not stuck on you. It's not in you. Exactly. It doesn't mean that wasn't valid. It doesn't mean that it wasn't real, that I didn't feel it. Right. It's just what do you do with it? What do you do with it? Yeah. And it gives you your power. Exactly. It's your power back in the station. It lets you say, OK, I've scanned it. I've looked at it. I don't need that right now. OK. The third tool is Small Talk. Oh. So Small Talks, with the power of that is it's not like a, sounds like an affirmation, this idea of having a small talk with yourself. The difference between a small talk and affirmations, affirmations more like, I am enough. I am worthy where it's kind of this intrinsic thing. A small talk is a way to bring up. Who you want to be when you communicate. And there are lots of different ways that, excuse me, that you can have a small talk. What I found with my lessons that I teach and I use them, I use small talks for myself. Well, first let me define it. A small talk is nothing more than a conversation that you quickly have with yourself. It can be two sentences. It can be one sentence. It can be a phrase. And I write them down at the top of my yellow legal pad in trial. And these are things like wait for the right pitch. Let the facts speak for themselves. These things that you be Jefferson. Like that is ways, these are ways that I am recalling in the moment. Who do you want to be? How do I want to show up for myself? And how do I want other people to experience me? And I have done it and worked with every client that I have to work on their small talk of who do you want to be when you communicate? And one of my favorites is I had a client who her small talk was tell him Doris. Tell him Doris, which was a line that her grandfather would tell her grandmother when her grandmother was getting worked up about something was going to tell them. Pull them up one side and down the other didn't tell him something. And so she wanted to have that confidence of her grandmother. And so she would say to herself in her mind, you know, no, tell him Doris. And so that gave her the confidence to say what she wanted to say. Small talk is something that you keep intrinsic to you. You can write them down, but they're just little mementos and reminders of how you want to show up. They're not something to say out loud. You don't put them on a billboard. They're not public. It's just what relates to you and how you want to react. Maybe it's something about not wanting to interrupt. Maybe it's something of wanting to make sure you stay in your ground the next time that somebody says that thing. It's an agreement with yourself of making sure that like a mini huddle. This is how I'm going to show up every single time. You do it by starting with a verb. So if it's stand up or speak slowly, like for mine was wait for the right pitch. Begin with a verb. Why a verb? Because it puts it into action. Because it makes it tangible. Verbs feel movement. So whenever you can use the power of language, use a verb. A verb is what's going to give you that little bit of a power punch to say, now I'm going to put this in emotion. It's not more passive like an affirmation of I am worthy. I am enough. No, it is telom Doris. It is, you know, stand your ground. These things that are going to allow you to use it. Like for example, in taking it personally, a great one is put it down. I'll say put it down, Jefferson. I use that all the time. I tell myself and somebody says something. I read a text or an email and I read it negative in my head and I'm ready to respond to them. Put it down, Jefferson. And so you see how it's connected to me looking at the paper. Yeah, something down on your desk. Yeah. And so that, that, that small talk means so much to you. Exactly. Yeah. And everybody listening has their own little nugget that they keep to themselves of what's important to them. What matters to them? How do you, is it something with your family? Is it something that's connected to your values that drives who you want to be? How do your legacy to play out? So good. And it gives you that North Star. It really does. Right. And every moment. Just a little mini pet talk with yourself. That is so good. So everyone at home right now, think about what is your small talks, right? The ones that you want to have that you're going to like channel and tap into, like who you want to be. Right? That's sort of like redirect. Yes. Redirect your focus in those moments. What I love so much about these, these three tools is they also just put you back in your power. Right? They give you the power now to decide. Yes. How I'm going to handle this argument or how I'm going to handle this conversation versus like you're in fight or flight and you don't, you don't even have control over what's about to happen. You got it. And you're about to repeat patterns in the past and all the things and these three tools. Yes. Give you your power. I love Jefferson that you say you don't have to attend every argument you are invited to. Yes. And we get invited to a lot. Yes, we do. Yes, we do. You don't have to attend every argument you're invited to. And these three tools. Yes. Give you the decision. Am I going to accept the invitation? Yes. Am I going to politely decline? Right. Yeah. How are you going to RSVP? Yeah. That's the power of saying it with control. Because first is you, with any communication, you have to learn how to control yourself. Yes. I mean, that's where that, that's where that power is going to be. And when you can have that conversational breath to inject yourself with your analytical side and continue to speak in logic and control and keep yourself calm. When you're able to quick scan your emotions. When you're able to have a kind of a midi pep talk with yourself and you know where your North Star is, you can say it with control and that exudes confidence in so many ways. And more often it even allows you what I love about it. You just get to acknowledge it and see it in somebody else. Like when somebody yells at you, instead of concentrating on, I can't believe you would yell at me. You, what you hear is now they're trying to push the threat away. So what are they threatened by? When somebody's yelling, like you see a wild animal, you might yell to make it go. You clap, you go, hey, get scared. I mean, that is the same exact thing. We yell to make the threat go away. So when you say it with control, you turn it into curiosity. I love it. Remember, this episode is not just for you and me. Please share this with every single person you know, because it can change their life too. Make sure to pick up Jefferson's new book, The Next Conversation. Argu less, talk more and check out his brand new Jefferson Fisher School of Communication. We'll link it in the show notes. And if you love today's episode too, well, my only ask is you please click on the follow or subscribe button for the show on the app that you're listening or watching it on. Then give it a five star review and then share this episode with everyone you believe in. Share it with another person in your life who could benefit from it. Post it and share it with others online or in your community who just might need the words and tools and lessons in this episode today. You never know whose life you're meant to change today by sharing this episode. Just thank you so much for joining me. And before you go, I wanted to share some words with you that couldn't be more true. You right now, exactly as you are, are enough and fully worthy. You're worthy of your greatest hopes, your wildest dreams and all the unconditional love in the world. It's an honor to welcome you to each episode of the Jamie Kern Lima show. And here I hope you'll come as you are and heal where you need. Blossom what you choose, journey toward your calling and stay as long as you like because you belong here. You are worthy. You are loved. You are love. And I love you. And I cannot wait to join you on the next episode of the Jamie Kern Lima show. Do you struggle with negative self talk? Living with a constant mental narrative that you're not good enough is exhausting. I know because I spent most of my life in that habit. The words you say to yourself about yourself are so powerful. And when you learn to take control over your self talk, it's life changing. And I wanted to give you a free resource that I created for you. If this is something that could benefit your life, it's called five ways to overcome negative self talk and build self love. And it's a free how to guide to overcome that negative self talk to build confidence and develop unshakable self love so that you can dream big and keep going in the pursuit of your goals. Don't let self sabotaging thoughts hinder your progress any longer. It's time to rewrite the script of your life when filled with self love, resilience and unwavering belief. If you're ready to take charge of your narrative, build unwavering confidence and empower yourself to persevere on the path to your dreams. You can grab your free guide to stop overthinking and learn to trust yourself at Jamie Kern Lima.com slash resources or click the link in the show notes below. Who you spend time around is so important as energy is contagious. And so is self belief. And I love to hang out with you even more, especially if you could use an extra dose of inspiration, which is exactly why I've created my free weekly newsletter. That's also a love letter to you delivered straight to your inbox from me. If you haven't signed up to make sure that you get it each week, just go to Jamie Kern Lima.com to make sure you're on the list and you'll get your one on one with Jamie weekly newsletter and get ready to believe in you. If you're tired of hearing the bad news every single day and need some inspiration, some tips, tools, joy and love hitting your inbox. I'm your girl. Subscribe at Jamie Kern Lima.com or in the link in the show notes. I am so excited for this book. You know why? Because it's going to save so many people. It's going to save you. Where the your new beautiful book, where the get this book, this book. I'm telling you, it's a book that can change anybody's life. We've picked it up. Anybody who's ever felt that they were not good enough, didn't measure up something's missing in your life. I have to tell you, it's powerful. It's happening. It's worth it. Imagine what would you do if you fully believed in you? I went from struggling waitress, facing nonstop rejection to founder of It Cosmetics, a billion dollar company by learning how to overcome self doubt and believe I'm worthy of my hopes and dreams. And I'm sharing how you can too. And my new book worthy, how to believe you are enough and transform your life. If you're ready to truly trust yourself and break through that barrier of self doubt and know that where you come from or even where you are right now, doesn't determine where you're going, then worthy is for you. It's time to go from doubting you're enough to knowing you're enough. It's time to step into all of who you are and into the person you were born to be. And it's time to believe that you are worthy of it, because in life, we don't become what we want. We become what we believe we're worthy of. Join the worthy movement today by grabbing your copy of worthy anywhere books are sold. Then head to worthybook.com now for free gifts, including my five part course on becoming unstoppable and my 95 page worthy workbook action plan that teaches you how to implement the tools from the book into your real life right now. Worthy is groundbreaking. Yo. My god. Worthy. You are worthy. This book is going to change lives. This book literally will teach you how to actually feel worthy so that you can have the strength, you can have the confidence. The lessons in this book and the strategies will change your life. You will never be the same again after you read this book. Jamie's book worthy is a must read. It is going to inspire you, empower you, give you the hope that you need and the kick in the rear end that you deserve. Jamie's book worthy is incredible. The gifts are going away, but they're all free right now on worthybook.com. It's such an honor to share this podcast together with you. And please note, I'm not a licensed therapist and this podcast is not intended as a substitute for the advice of a physician, professional coach, psychotherapist or other qualified professional.