Saved By Paul Virzi

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I don't know. It's raining. He rides a bike. You know, I got a great guest in today. I'm very happy. Thank God. Thank God. That's right. He's a true New Yorker. Yeah. Mr. Paul Verzi. Yes, sir. Is in the house. I mean, I would have liked the other Knicks song. Come on, get into it. I'm a Celtic fan. I'm not playing the cool song. This is when they were wearing Chuck Taylor's playing. Yeah. Paul Verzi. My man. What's up, dude? My podcast brother from Bone to Pick. Dude, I knew something happened. How did you know something? That's when I walked in here, you guys. Did you go outside and see the crows flying? No. When I walked in here, everybody was like, you feel good today? You're having a good day? Everything good? I'm like, yeah, what happened? Of course I'm ready. You good? Paul, everything good? You need anything? I was like, yeah, God. First of all, congratulations on the Knicks stomping of the Sixers. Dude. I don't mind her. Who's your team? Sixers. First of all, she doesn't have a team. Okay. I know it was Lakers, but... Yeah, I was going to say, you're a California girl. It was Shot Coby Lakers. She has no team. She has to have a team because she lives with a Philly boy. So she's a Sixers fan, which I look at. I respect that. Look, you go for your man. I get it. You follow your man's thing? You follow him right out of the playoffs with the Knicks stomping him. We do look good, boy. I'll tell you. I don't like that Christine's pretending to be mad like she cares about basketball at all. You care about basketball as much as I do. I mean, probably a little more than that. Yes. I know that I can name players. That hurts. That hurts. Yeah. Yeah, the Knicks killed them. They're going to sweep them, I think. They're looking good. Oh, I hope. They're looking good. They're looking real good. I'm not going to jump. There it is. That's the song. Oh, fuck it. Yes. That is a good song. Yeah, that other song was my grandfather's jam. That's the one Jacob. That was for Jacob. That was the 80s. Yeah, the Celtics song stinks. I don't know. What is it? Oh, God. It's fun. I don't know. It's some white Celtics. I don't know. It's fun. I don't know. It's some white Celtics. I think there's a banjo involved. Some long bass, one of those fucking. What's the Celtic song we played once? It was just so fucking corny. I thought they would have updated it. I mean, we did win a couple of championships. You should have updated it. I know. Make it exciting. I know. It blows. Because it's Boston. They're not into, we're not into mascots. We're not into themes, songs. You know what I mean? You're into insults. No, we're actually, we're into fucking championships. How's that? Okay. All right. Well, there you go. All right. You can't fight that. You know, it sucks is when you can't argue because the last time the next one was 73. So after you say that, I just look at my coffee. Like, is that it? Is that it? Is that it? No, that's just this. Not official, yeah. That's not even Irish song. This is cool. Like, but this is actually. I love this band, but I don't, I used to come up to them in Boston. This was my jam. I would come up, I'd play the song at the Wilbur, come out to this and I'd wait. I would wait. I'd let this go. Yeah. Can I say something? And I'd let the crowd start to go. And then I'd walk out right around. There's something about this though. Yeah. Sounds a little racist, doesn't it? Yeah. That's why it was in Boston. Got all these racists riled up before I came out and did comedy. But I stopped playing it though because I was doing my show at the Wilbur one night and it was half sold. And I'm standing out front smoking a cigar and all these people are walking by and they're going, Hey Bobby, Hey Bobby, Babo. And I'm like, where the fuck are you guys going? They're going, Oh, Conan's playing next door. And this band, the actual band was opening for him. Oh my God. Fuck it. I literally went in and I go, fuck that. Get him off. I took it off. I was like, fuck them. The actual band. Could you imagine? I'm coming out to them and a half sold Wilbur to the song and their next door playing live for Conan. Oh God. I just got killed in Detroit. I lost to Jeff Dunneye. I went on Jeff Dunneye was at the fuck next door and I was like, dude, I could understand, you know, losing to a comic, but not a puppet. Dude, fuck. To a wooden buddy. I was in Albany once half sold. I lost to the flower festival during the day. The guy was like, yes, sometimes get people get tired, do it. The flower festivals in town. I'm like, what? Oh God, the excuses they give us. Yeah. Yesterday dude was so fucking. I had, we had, first of all, I want to say sorry to everybody in the room. I apologize. And I want to say sorry to the, to the fans of the bonfire, the loyal listeners. I want to say sorry to Jim. Dude, this is a, this is a eulogy. I want to say sorry to opiate Anthony. I want to say sorry to Jim and Sam opiate Jim Sam and the boys. I want to say sorry to everybody because I don't know what happened yesterday. Dude, I love Voss. He's one of my best friends. He came in yesterday and did everything you're not supposed to do on radio. Sip, fart, burp, chew, answer a phone. Dude, at one point I looked down. He's, he's answering the phone. And then Alan, Alan Kerrigan came in and she, he starts showing, he goes, I got grandkids. You want to see some pictures? Gets his phone and starts showing her pictures of his grandkids in the phone. And then he was having side conversations. Did you see this side conversations? I did. He would get off Mike. Like he would lean over to her and just whisper, hey, where did you park? What? Can I say something? Yeah. I'm going to say something. Oh no. It's your fault. No, no, no. It wasn't your pick. It wasn't your pick? Okay. Was it your pick? Okay. How long you known him? You know what, 35 fucking years? Okay. How long you known Voss? Fuckin four decades? Okay. What did you think he was going to do? Okay. Did you think he was going to be a perfect fucking citizen and just, that went, that went golfing, Bobby. He's telling people he's showing, I love Rich, but you know what you're getting. Buddy, but can I just say something? I, yes, you're right. And everybody in this room is going, yep. I think Christine, when I said Voss, she said who? What? No. But the thing is, I think that Voss, I looked over at it, he got hearing aids. We got DJ Lou, who's probably one of the best in the business. During the show, he's, listen to what he's playing right now, because I'm talking about my friend. He just, he is a, he's like a voice. He's doing sound design during the show live. It's a pro. It's not even a pro, it's magic. He's a magician. And he doesn't hear any of it. Do you know why he didn't hear any of it? He wasn't wearing his headphones. He's been doing radio for 47 years. He's been doing radio when people had just radios. Yeah. And he still doesn't get, at one point he went, I'm not interested. I went, what? What? Wow. Crazy. And then it, didn't he say something, there's so many things. Didn't he say, what else did he do, Christine? He did something disparaging. Maybe he's like, it was a medical. It sounds like, it sounds so nuts that it was like low blood sugar. I think it's just time we, we got to put him out to pasture. You know what I mean? I think there's a spot in every comic slide where you just got to go, go. Just walk him out to the streets. Just go. I can hear you a little too clearly. Could you constantly touch the microphone for the entire show, the rest of the show? Paul, the mic was there. Didn't have to mode, he kept doing this. Oh God. Was he, was all jokes aside, was he fucking with you or no? Dude, I don't, no. He wouldn't fuck with me. I think that he's just not there anymore. Oh boy. Do you know, I don't, I don't think that his, his, his, uh, I don't think he can make, he can, I think if he did the show at 1130 in the morning, he would have been better. You know what I mean? Like if he got up, had his coffee and did the show, I think five is too late for him. I think six is definitely like, Hey man, I gotta get my CPAP machine and get ready for bed. Dude, I can't, I can't believe it. I mean it was, I was, and I'm telling him, Hey dude, stop touching the microphone. He didn't. And he couldn't hear it cause he didn't have his headphones on. It's like, you've been doing radio longer than me. You've been doing radio. And look at Voss, his killer on the radio. He's had some epic bits on the radio. He's great on the radio, but to sit in that chair to be a co-host, you kind of gotta be, be with, there. You gotta be there. You gotta be there. It was just distracted and it seems like we couldn't wrangle it. I was, I was like, I must be a horrible producer. Like it was questioning like everybody. We were like, what happened? Yeah. What happens? I mean, it was, there was so many, like usually there's one with Voss, there's one or two things. He doesn't have his headphones on or like he'll, you know, maybe chew, chew a little bit into the microphone. Buddy, he's got a Diet Coke and was just chugging it on them and then burping and then burping into the microphone and then chewing his gum. At what point was there a break where you were like, Hey dude. Five seconds in. I know there's no break. There was a break, but like I could have said like at the break where you like, Hey, Rich, are you good to? Um, you said it on the air. I was like, what the fuck's wrong with you? Five minutes in. I'm like, are you a moron? Like what's wrong with you? Like I kept going stop. It was like, I was, dude, Max is what better behaved at 12 than this 69 year old man, 40 years in the business. Oh, you should have Max coming. No, that's not good. I mean, I know he's not going to touch the microphone, not going to chew, fart, burp. His stomach was doing weird. What do you mean fart? Like you heard him fart? Dude, he leaned over and not he, he leaned over. Are you farting? He goes, no. And then we're talking and he kept in the middle of the conversation. He kept as we're kind of trying to go back and forth as you do on a radio show. Like I'm talking now and then you'll talk and then I'll talk and then you'll talk and then Jacob might talk and then Christie and then I'll that's the way a radio show goes. Because there's people listening live, right? So I want you to just start talking, start telling me a story. Yeah, dude, you saw that next game. No, no, no, no, no. It's like, what the fuck? Yeah, I think he's got, I think we got to, we're going to take old yellow out to the fucking tree in the backyard and put him away. What's up, Lou? Oh, you know, I'm a big ONA fan. I've been watching ONA for years and years and years. Yeah. And it just reminded me, it made me really sad. It was like when your favorite sports player isn't young anymore and that fastball's not there and fucking crossovers gone. You know what I mean? Yeah, it's like when Patrick Ewing was in a Seattle SuperSonics jersey. Yeah. And it's been in Arizona. You're like, oh, shit, it's over. Oh, shit. You know what I mean? That's funny. Yeah, it's funny. Buddy, that is exactly, buddy, I was mad, but I was sad. That is the exact feeling I felt like I was like looking over at him, like sad. Like I was just like, then he came down, he comes down to the cell last night. I told him, I go, come on, I'm doing my pussycat every Tuesday night, by the way. Every Tuesday night at 7.00, 7.00 a.m., I do my show at the pussycat. You guys are more than welcome to come down. I got to get a discount code for Bonfire fans, by the way. You're a good friend, you are. Come down. Let's continue the bar. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Let's continue the bar. You're showing signs of dementia. Why don't you come down to my show? Buddy, you must have already asked him before the show, and you didn't want to take it back. Christine, you're right. I asked him before the show. But here's the thing, guys. Here's the thing. Maybe radio as your attention span. Dude, his attention span was wild. At one point, I looked over at him. I asked him a question. He was looking down. Oh, boy. Just like looking down. I don't know, dude. He's texting. Oh, I will. Dude, if he had fallen asleep yesterday, I would have been happy with that. We would have done the whole show like this. So Eleanor, you're from Philly. That's interesting. Buddy, it was crazy. So then I asked him down, and then at the end of the show, he goes, that was a great show. I was like, are you talking to me? Who are you talking to? And then I say, come down. He goes, I don't know if I'm going to make it. I was like, OK. I don't need you. Don't get mad at me. So I'm in the middle. I'm doing my show. There's five minutes left to the show. In the middle of a bit, I have a bit about saving the girl. It's like a new bit that I'm trying to work out. I'm in the middle of it. And the crowd is great. They're from all over the world. It's like Indian and Australian and Brazilian. And there's a lot of, when you go to the cellar now, there's the world's there. Plus there's fans. You look over, there's a side split. Well, we got Mondani now. I get it. Come on now. We always have the guinea come out. I'm sure. The city doesn't affect you at all. You live in South Salem. I wasn't going to say it until you said whatever the last one was. First of all, you're in South Salem. I was in your city on Sunday at Max's lacrosse game. You got nothing to worry about. Oh, I know. I mean, dude, I felt Puerto Rican in that town. You are. So, so I invited them. I'm in the middle of my bit and I'm, look, I'm not bragging. I'm just going good. I was happy. The crowd was great. I was just having a good time with this crowd. They were laughing at everything. I'm in the middle of the bit. And then all of a sudden I see him walk in at the beginning of the bit. He walked in and just stood in the back. Oh, that's the worst. It was staring at me. Like, look, I've had Jay on the show. Jay comes in, he'll sit down in the back and just wait, you know, wait, you know what I mean? Like wait till he gets called up, you know? That's what most comics do. They'll go hang out in a certain spot upstairs in the little VIP or somewhere and wait. He stands in the back and stares at me like a fucking assassin. And he's wearing all white. And he's just and I could feel him. Just staring at me. Just see the silhouette with the fedora. Yeah. Yeah. So in the middle of my bit, literally, I get a laugh and I'm going on to the next part of the bit. He goes, I can do that. I was like, what? What? I don't know what to find. He goes, I can do what you're doing. I think I could do that. So now I'm in the bit. You know what I mean? There's either I go rich boss ladies. So I go, oh, you can, sir. I just pretend like it's some audience member because that's what he wants. So I'm like, oh, you can. You thinking come on the fuck up and do what I do. Right. He goes, yeah, I think I can. So I go, come on up. So he comes up and I'm just standing off to the left and he goes into his bit and he's he's just bombs. What? But he he goes the it looks down at the guys French fries. These two Indian guys in the front. He goes, you have French fries in India. And they go, yeah, we do like, yeah, yeah, dude, it's not fucking the kootie pie. It's a it's a dish. Right. And then he goes, how do you like the pipes with the water? And goes that doesn't pressure or something like that. And nobody and I'm like, oh, as a comic, I'm like, thank you, God, like this is happening right now. Like I'm like, and I'm looking around to make sure the lights are on the video is everything. I'm like, please, Jesus Christ, let this happen. And then and then he starts going into other bits. But you know, like this happened in Chicago. We did a big creeps a kid show in Chicago and he would host and he goes up and. Seven minutes into a set, a couple walks out screaming and then she yells out, you're a fucking racist. You know, and we were like, what the hell? What the hell? I went back and listened to his first seven minutes. Voss is a racist. Every joke was just terrible. You know what I mean? If you don't like racist jokes. So last night it's like, dude, if you do a racist joke, the key to doing a racist joke, it has people have to laugh. If they don't laugh, you're a racist. So. So I'm just on stage at one point. There's a guy to the left with a side splitter shirt. He's a fan of mine. I mean, you know what I mean? He's been to multiple shows. He knows who Voss is. Voss is doing so bad. He goes, get this fucking guy off the stage. What? He didn't. He didn't know it was Voss. Oh, shit. He thought it was just some guy from the audience bombing. And then I had to go. I had a break character. I was like, listen, guys, because people are getting mad. I go, guys, this is a forty. You're a vet. He's a professional comedian. And I turn to the guy, go, that's rich Voss. He goes, oh, yeah, it is. Sorry. That's how bad he was. He doing he hypnotized people to not know who he was. And you invited rich to that, right? Yes, I did. I did. I invited rich. Yeah. OK, so he invited rich to the radio. And then after the radio incident, you invited him to that. As his tattoo says, never again. Never again. Oh, and you guys go out and eat after that together. I'll eat with the guy, but I'm not fucking my God, dude. And I mean, he is trying to chisel Israel in every good. He's trying to chisel the Israeli war. Shit. And I'm looking over Christina. She's literally giving me. No, she's wetting her hands like, don't go there. Like warning me, don't. You know, it's like, because he kept saying he kept saying that his daughter's school is really liberal. His daughter. So he's not saying it, but he's like going and I'm like, I'm about to burst. Like a dam about to burst. Oh, that's hilarious. And at one point he's like, I ran war and I'm like, what are you doing? I always. You don't mention the. He's like, I was trying to get into the preppers. I'm like, I still. Dude, I was like, I wasn't trying to trigger. I was trying to get him to focus on something. So I tried to lean into preppers. That's funny. It was like the end of an action movie when you just go into slow motion. No. Oh, dude. I know when you try to get somebody off, but then you realize that topic ain't good either. Right. Like you tried to win nowhere. Yeah, that's crazy. The only way you can focus him, if you say Israel, Iran, Palestine. What? I mean, I mean, it was. That's not really what they show is. Yeah. Hey, we're just trying to be a silly and have fun for an hour and 45. Yeah, dude, I don't want to fucking talk about. He was trying to bring up his daughter's stuff. And I was like, dude, I don't want. I can't. I can't. I don't know anything about it. I don't. You know what I mean? Yeah, I don't want people to die. Can we move on? I don't want. I don't want to get into the the horseshit of it. Yeah. People ask you what's your opinion on the war. And you're just going like, I don't know, dude. I just go worse. Bad. Let's just have people be safe. Yeah, war is bad. Yeah. Yeah. We went through one last night. What's that? Went through one last night. I did. I feel shell shocked. I know how I was like going through like PTSD last night. I was like, what happened in there? Like. I got a phone call. I got a phone call from Bobby and he goes, you ready for a great show day? It's going to be good, right? I was like, yeah, dude, what's happening? Oh, dude, I'm just doing radio. I thought you're freaking me out. Here's the thing. We went last week. Last week, listen, I've been having so much fun on the show. Last week, we had Lou Diamond Phillips. We had Youngblood. We had RZA from the Wu Tang. We had such epic shows. Monday, we had Colin Quinn. And then we went to Voss. Flying high. Buddy, that's what you get for flying too high. I was flying too high. I was feeling. I was feeling great. I tried to touch the sun, Bobby. Buddy. Yeah. And I got burnt. Dude, I put on autopilot. You step back. Buddy, I had Jim. The boss was like, hey, yesterday's show was great yesterday. That was a really great show with Colin Quinn. I came in too high, dude. I was like, this is going to be good too. No, it's not. Oh, hey. Hey, how you doing? Youngblood and RZA wanted to like just hang out with you. Oh, dude, oh, dude, they came in. They were fucking. Dude, how great is the RZA? Dude. So cool. But we go. We didn't get Wu Tang RZA. We got Hollywood RZA, which was even better. Yeah. Yeah. Because he was in promotion mode. Yeah. So he was like, hey, you know, he was a little not that white, but you know what I mean? I don't think he was. Hey, hey, guys. From the slum, just shall in. Yeah, no, but he was in. He was in like his voice is iconic in it. But I thought he was going to come in and be like, yo, what's up, boys? How you doing? What? I don't know. Have you ever seen him act? Or have you ever seen him play like his piano beautifully? I mean, the man's like, he is a beautiful man. And that's yeah, he's really talented. Yeah, it bugs me. That bugs me. The piano thing bugs me. That he could play piano. No, anybody that plays piano and does other things too. Yeah. It's like, fuck, I'm not. I'm not. I'm not good. You know, you play drums. You play drums. You're not good. Drums at drums. Anybody can play drums. Yeah. Piano when somebody sits down on the piano, I'm like, fuck, they're like like extra bed of person. You know what I mean? Like I want to have a gnomes house. Not to mention his name, but I can because Jay's not here. I went to a gnomes house and his fucking 12 year old kid just jumped on the piano started playing Beethoven. I was like, fuck, I looked over at Max. Max is just drooling like, that's interesting. It fucking bothers me. He's holding a lacrosse stick. His fingers move so fast. Yeah, we had. I mean, last week was so fucking great, dude. I remember I went home last week. I was like, dude, what a great week because we were asking. We literally was like, hey, we need to get some guests. It happened like that. We had three of them epic guests. I was like, oh my God. And then Monday, Colin Quinn. I mean, Jesus, it was so good. And then it really we just one of the tires, well, all four tires fell off the bonfire truck and we went with what's that? Life will humble you. Life. Yeah. You know what? Man, man, man, man, man makes plan and God laughs. And boy, did God have a laugh yesterday. It went into the YKWD. It went into that. I mean, I was fucking, you know, I was like, dude, I was I had to drive home alone like at like 12 and nobody was up. I think I called you at like 12. I fell asleep early last night. Yeah. And then I called I called Jacob after that. I'm like, hey, dude, I was like, hey, man, it was like midnight. How are you doing? Well, I want to. I want to thank you, though. Why buddy? For not calling me. Oh, yeah. Because, you know, if Bobby calls at midnight, it's something. Yeah, something. Yeah. I needed I needed the human. It's a I knew I was getting a call that night. I made sure to have the ringer on. And then his face popped up. I don't know. It's the same picture, but look, sadder for some reason. Did you guys was it was I on Bobby Watch last night? You got that was your shift midnight to four. Christine was 10 to midnight. Louis Louis, six to 10. All right, guys, we're going to in Bobby Watch night because he's going to call one of us. Yeah, dude, it was it was so funny to you know, your wife, hey, you know, in the morning, had the show go yesterday. There is. And I was just like, she went boss. I swear to God. Swear to God she went boss. I was like, yeah, man, I don't know what happened. Yeah. Rich is so funny, too. That's weird, man. No, listen, bro, he's funny. You know, he might have just, you know, I love Rich. I love him so much. And he is one of the funniest guys. Is he on medicine? He should be. He should have. Maybe he missed his medicine. I don't know, dude. He's missing something. He's missing something. He's going to be missing the bonfire. I tell you that. I don't give a fuck if he wins an Oscar. He's not coming back on this show. I mean, I feel like we should have some sort of a trial scenario. That's great. You know, like I don't look at messages that much. I try not to look good or bad because if you're not, if you're not going to like the bad, you shouldn't get the good in my eyes. You know what I mean? It's like whatever. That stuff's not for me. But on Monday, there was a I saw Colin Quinn. Oh, my God. And, you know, of course, some of my fans from IKWD are fans of the bonfire. And they and then, man, was it immediate yesterday? I just go, let me just check. Oh, I go, you didn't. But it was seven oh five. Oh, you did that to yourself. It was just one. I went, wow. But I went, I checked his text. I went, he's right. You know what? He's got a valid point. Yeah. So I'm glad I was so glad when you were coming in, brother. I appreciate it because I know you don't do you. Look at your listening right now. Well, I mean, by what you said he did yesterday, the bar wasn't set so high. You're like, hey, do pay attention, put your headphones on. Don't fart. I mean, don't look at your phone. I mean, chimpanzees going to do that. I mean, there is. We had a show where we had like four trans woman on at one time and they were all talking over each other and it was like unmanned. Like we couldn't rein it in there were side conversations. It was a real like crazy situation. And it felt like that yesterday with just boss. Just him by himself. You know how bad it is when it takes four trans to make one boss? Yeah. Yeah. Not one trend, not two, three, four trans to make one boss. My God. I did. I couldn't. It was like when he stopped doing something, he started doing something else. Yeah, he wasn't texting. He was slurping. If he wasn't slurping, his stomach was growling. If he wasn't doing that, he was showing pictures of his grandkids. And then at one point he's looking down. He goes, this stinks. I was like, what? I try to get the topic off Israel, try to move away from that. He's like, I'm bored. This is boring. We're like, OK, sorry. OK, grandpa, do you know my name, boss? At one point I want to go, you know it's Bobby, right? You know it's me, right? Oh, God, dude, it was so I looked around the room at one point. Everybody's just looking at me like, I don't we like, do we shoot him? Do we like, like what's going on? Do we end or do we end at six? My God, you have a best of in the can. Hey, do we throw that? You just call Jay real quick and get him on the phone. Jay, Jay. We have to have a code word for Jay. We just called Voss. Anytime something bad's happened in Voss, I'm calling right now. Yeah, it was it was it was I I got over it around noon today. Oh, wow, it was an overnighter. It was an overnighter. You know, if it's an overnighter, something happened. Dude, I didn't go to bed till three. I didn't go to bed till three last night. I was I thought you were fired. That was just waiting for your thoughts. Bobby's calling serious in the morning. Everything good, you guys. You guys eat donuts. Can I pick you guys up anything? Jim, I just got your Rolex. Jim, I just got your Pepsi. Is the boss in? That's the boss. Did the boss here yesterday? Yeah, that was the one that hurt. It was such a great week. And then literally we were taught. I was like, wow, that was fun. What a great week of guests. And then Colin, we were all riding high. And we went too far, went too far. But we learned a lesson, you know? And we get it back today. We get it back today. Get it back today. I like that. You got a guinea in here. Dude, that's I can't even believe you just did that. Buddy, I can't even believe you just hit the timing like that. Easy. That just made me want to fight a Russian. What are we waiting for? Can you change it to a Jew? Dude, that was. Rocking could still win that is age now. I told you, Voss heard none of the Lou. Part of the show for me, part of the show that makes me laugh. I like to laugh during the show is lose his drops, his music beds, everything he's doing. He's listening and creating conversation through music and sounds during the show. Voss heard none of it. At one point I laughed at something he did. And he's like, what? What? I'm trying to help him. There's no helping. There's no helping. I mean, that was I've been doing. I've been doing I've been a comic a while been doing radio. That was one of the best droppings I've ever had. Oh, I mean, the timing of that was a magician. He's a magician. He can drop anything. You want to hear Christine be dirty? What? Yeah, yeah, you can hear Christine be dirty. Want to hear it? Why would you? Why would I do guys have different sized peels? Spread assholes are for gay men. You want to hit Bobby be gay? You want a little gay Bobby? I've always liked men. I love it. Oh, shit. That's great. He's a magician. Yeah, he is. Dude, I was I want to ask you a question because me and you have similar lives. We live up in the suburbs. You have the you have the kids. We got to do the, you know, the games and practices. Yeah, you're a little more into it than me. Yeah, you're you know sports. You know, you get, you know, you I go to master's games because I want to I love seeing them play and I love being them for them. But I don't know. I don't know what's going on. Yeah, I mean. And you got you got to help me with you got to help me with this. What's up? I don't know what to say. To what? To yell out. Oh, to you at the game? Yeah, like the other dads yelling at forty seven. Pick it up. You know, do two more steps. Sixty nine. Like they I don't know what that means. I don't know anything like I'm yelling out like Max. Do you doing good? I know. And I yell I yell Maxie like I go Maxie, which is not what I should be yelling out. Yeah. And you know, Don. Don doesn't know what the fuck she's saying. She yells out stupid shit. And you can feel other parents just kind of look over at us like what the fuck does that mean? I need some good stuff. Just watch him do something good. Like even if you don't just go, he's a goalie in the cross. Oh, he's a goalie. OK, so he gets a goal. What do I yell out? I yell out. Nice stop. Good save. Yeah. Yeah. All right. But I need something more. I mean, he's he but he's in one position. He's he's stationary. There's not much. What could you say to a goalie? He's got a ton of shit on. He's got a giant net. All you could say is good. But you know, I did yell at one time, stop ducking. Because he was. When he first started playing goalie, they shoot on him and he duck under the ball. I was like, I was like, you can't duck, Max. I'm like that with I'm like you with not sport stuff. Like I dropped Sophia off like strip clubs. Sophia Sophia went to a. No, no, she's 13. She went to the middle school dance. I didn't know what to say. Yeah. No, I don't know. No, no, it was me and her. I dropped her off. All right. And I just go, all right. And me and her are close. And I go, all right, sweetie. And she was dressed nice and I close with your daughter. Very. OK. But yeah, of course you are. Yeah. But some people are like, you know, fathers, mother daughters are closer with the mother. Sons are close with the father. Me and my daughter are like, like I'll take both of them to the games. I do everything like. No, you're right. I don't think my grandfather talked to my aunts and my mother until they were 35. No, some parents are like, yeah. So I just go, all right, I drop her off and she had a dress on. And she looked, you know, pretty nice. OK, sweetie. I go, dance good. What? I said, Dan, was it fucking footloose two? Was it 19? I go, dance good. And she put her hand over her mouth. She goes, dad, never say that to me. I just I said, dance good. Because what do you say? Like you had a sports thing that's reminded me when you said that you said, do good or whatever. But sports, no, sports are easier because you go out of way. It's a good one. Out of way is a good one. Out of way. Stay with it. Stick with it. Stick with it. Stick with it. Stick with it. I mean, that's a good one. Stick with it. Because if they score on them, right? Stick with it, Max. Stick with it and stick with it, even if he's blocking. Stick with it goes both ways. What do you mean? If he gets a save. Good, stick with that. Like, you know, stick with it could go for both ways. If they score or not stick with it. I like stick with it because it means keep doing what you're doing. Stick with it's good. Anybody got anything? Who else? I like what about what policy? Good save and what was the other one? Yeah, good save. Out of way. What did you say? Sixteen's mother's a whore. No, no. Could save in something block? No, you said we're both good. Yeah, stick with it. Stick with it's good. Good block. Good block. Good block. Stick with it. Big stop. Big stop. Good save, Max. Good save. That's coming from a guy who'd never had a father say any of this to him. That was fucking amazing. His father was like, dance good, son. I'm a goalie. All right. Yeah. You knew I knew I know you got good ones. So my father-in-law is the high school lacrosse coach. Oh, thank God. Here we go. Here we go. This is what I want. Ball down. Ball down. Anytime the ball is loose and it's not in someone's. All down. All down. So when the ball, when the ball is loose, oh, God, Lou, he's going to say that in the wrong place now. You're going to say ball down at the word. You're going to see that half time. He's going to be all down because he's going to see it laying on the field. I know what ball down is. I know ball down. I know when the so when they're like on the face off when it's all over, they drop a ball, ball down. Because it's supposed to go. All right. OK, good. I like that. Ball down. Go ahead. What else? Similar to hockey, especially since he plays defense. Yeah. Check. Or slide. What do you mean? Basically, when the offense is coming to the goalie to him, I've heard slide. I don't know what slide means. Slide the defense over. Slide the D. Can I say slide the D over? Might not be good. No. No. Again, I'm getting too close to the sun. Slide. Just slide. Slide. Can I say slide? Slide that big D, Max. All right, I get it now. Good. I understand. So slide, slide, slide, slide, slide, slide, slide, do. And then when he gets the ball out of there, yeah, clear, he's clearing it. Clear it clear. Clear. All right, good. I like all these. Oh, I got some good ones. I need to need to have to write these down. I'm going to take out a notepad during the game. Slide, slide, slide. I have to have right slide three times. Oh, God, I can't wait. Just video yourself and send it to me when you say ball down. I got to hear you say that ball down, Max. Slide, slide, slide. Good day, data boy. Did you add a boy is a good at a boy at a boy just you can't. It can't be denied. But you got to make it Italian where it's not the actual sentences. No, no, the Italian at a boy is good for you. Here's the thing, too. I don't know if you have this with your kids. I have a thing with my kid. I set this up. Me and Don set it up, especially now that he's going to be 13. He's going to be a brand new teenager. So I set this up with Max. Yeah, I said, listen, you ever get in trouble? You ever? I don't care what it is. You ever in a jam, you're at a party, you don't want to be at something happens. You know, the cops show up. Anything you you use this code word. I have a code word. Yeah, you call us and you say that code word. We're coming to get you. No questions asked. You're not in trouble. You know, just we're coming to get you. No questions asked. We're going to pick you up and take you home. You mean a text? A text, a phone call, whatever you do. You say the code word that we gave him. And you would just come in to get you. Anything happens. You're somewhere in trouble. You're partying with kids. Some kids do some stuff or even if you do something and you need us, you just text us or call us and you say that code word. Well, no questions asked. We're just coming to get you. OK. Bringing you home to make sure you say. I like that we can deal with it when you get home. OK. Right. This was two days ago. We told them this. Yeah. He used the code word today. What? Yeah. Where what? He was at school. Oh, my God, that's incredible. We get the code word. I get the code word. I panic. I'm leaving for the show. I go to the code. It was the code word. Don's like, I know, I know the code word. She runs to get him. It was nothing. It was nothing. Some kid yelled out retard in the hallway. The teacher turned and saw Max and thought he did it. And thought he did it. He ran and used the code word. Oh, my God. I'm so fucking mad at him. I got to take away the code word. The code word is for cops and drugs and alcohol. The code word was retard. And that's what they heard. Not enough. And it is that is the code word. But that's I think that's. It's a great idea to have a code word. It's a great idea. But I think it might be too early to tell a kid that. Yeah, maybe I should have done like 16. You're going to get that code word for a long time now, buddy. I couldn't really be fucking used in two days in this jackass. Maybe so mad. We do with it in cops with they can, you know, something happened to school. A fight. He's at a party. I'm thinking he's somewhere and there's, you know, drugs and alcohol. I'm like, go get him. She's like, I am. Oh, that's great. God damn. Criable son. I love the I love the idea of the code word. It's a good. It's just if you give it to a 12 year old, they're just not going to know how to use it. I got to admit where I got it from. You got it from a movie. You got it from a movie. My neighbor. I was talking to my neighbor last weekend. She's like her son is a big kid. He's older though. He's in college, but he's a big boy. And she's like, we just have a code word. We had a code word. We just use this code word and anytime he called us, no questions asked. We pick them up just to get them out of trade. He was at a party and you know, the cops come or the, you know, there was too much crazy stuff going on. If he could use that code work, he'd just get out. We pick them up no matter what. And I was like, I'm using the code word. I was like, that's that. I went back to Don and go, we're going to start using a code word. She's like, for what? Yeah. And I'm like, from X. Wish she was using for sex. Dried up. Yeah. But, uh, funny that you took it from a neighbor. I know. I am a hack. I'm a hack parent. I didn't have a dad. I didn't have a dad to teach me stuff. You had a dad. I mean, no, not really. My dad was, you know, you'd have a dad. I stepped out. You were, yeah, I stepped out, but like, right. My dad, my parents are divorced when I was young. I was five. My brother was 10. We visited him like a few hours a week. Oh, you, do you talk to your dad now? Yeah. Yeah. Your friend. My dad is in West Palm. He's just, you know, complains, but my father, all the chains. My father's a stereotypical, you know, Italian. Oh, dude. Yeah. Oh, yeah. I bet he's great. He's, I mean, he's something. I'll tell you. Oh, really? Yeah. He's wild, man. Really? Yeah. He's, he's just a different dude. Grew up in the Bronx in the 60s. He's just, you know, a Bronx tale. That's my dad, but just gaudy chains. Was he, was he? All those bits that I did about him with like jewelry, you know. Can you not do me a favor? Don't bring up jewelry and chains. Why? We're just not out of it. Triggering. Yeah, it's triggering to all of us. I keep, I just keep seeing Voss in that chair with all the chains and the jewelry. Oh, does he wear a pinky ring? Who? My dad? No. Good. No pinky ring. I fucking hate a pinky ring. No, my dad has 90 watches. 90? 90. Real? Yeah. Yeah. Oh. 90 watches. He's probably, he's got hundreds of thousands in jewelry. Real. He didn't give you any watches? He gave my son, he just gave my son a watch. What'd he give him? He gave him a, it was a Swiss, it was a really nice watch. I forgot the name of it, but like worked a lot. Great, great watch. He didn't give you a watch? Uh, no. Why? Cause like I got watches, I don't need. Really? Yeah. You wouldn't want to watch from your dad? I mean, eventually. How old's your dad? 78. Now. What the fuck are you talking about? Eventually. Yeah, my dad's a trip, man. Oh, I want to meet him, dude. Yeah. I want to meet him. Yeah, let's just say he's not liberal. We should go to my dad's house and there, there's like portraits of Trump. It's like, it's not just the hats. There's like oil paintings of him. He's got the fist up, the blood coming down the cheek. It's unbelievable, dude. Is it Florida? It's like, yeah, he's, but the thing is he's, he's from the Bronx and he's in Florida and all he does is complain about Florida, man. It's too hot down here. There's lizards down here. And I'm just like, yeah, man, like, you know what you were doing, you know what he just, he always complains. He said the people are stupid, the doctors are bad. He misses New York, the pizza shit, you know, and just. Yeah, that's Florida. Yeah. Yeah. So I'm like, yeah. Yeah, that's why he got no pizza down here, but he acts like it's a surprise. I'm like, what do you think was going to happen down here? You know, he hates it, but he's cool, man. Was he, was he in the mob? No. No, knew them, but no, because he would always preach against it. He'd be like, he'd be like their street kids. He was like the hero in the Bronx. He was like the hero in the Bronx. No. Tell us about. He was like the hero in a Bronx. Tell if the hero was like cool with them. Like if he didn't fight him, but still wasn't involved involved. You know, you're a light. If the hero and Sonny were like cool. But yeah, that's what that was my dad. Right. OK, but you know, but my dad chains. My dad was a lot gore to your than a than a bus driver character. The general played is your stepdad. Not like that. No, my stepdad's blue collar. Blue collar dude. Blue collar dude. Right. Was a UPS driver for 25 years. Great dude, like just but like different than my dad, you know, my dad would like do crime for money if he had to. What? Like how do I not know this? I've known you for fucking 20 years. Not that he did, but my dad would just, you know, he would do crime. No, if he if it had to. Right. Like my dad would just get like a $40,000 car. But yeah, no, I pay cash for it. And I'd be like, but you don't work, you know, like I don't know how he got it. So he does crime. No, I think he saved. Saved $40,000 in cash. What is he, a stripper? Talking about. Dude, you can't save 40,000 in cash. Like my dad's advice to me and my brother were so different than like what a dad's advice would be like what? Like he'd be like, you know, if you guys want to really make it in this world, he's like, you know, you just you got to marry a rich broad. And like like meant it. Yeah, well, I mean, I tell you what, I wish I did. Oh my God. He'd be like, you know, you find yourself a beautiful man. She's got a rich family. I listen to what I'm telling you right now. Like not sit down and work hard, boys. Find an aris. You know, it sounds great. Great advice. That's fantastic. If you really do break it, that's kind of genius. Genius advice. Yeah, right. And like Japan, I think that people will adopt sons that marry their daughters to like take over their companies. And it's efficient, dude. Yeah, it's efficient. Japanese are efficient. I know I've been nudging dawn to fucking start doing something. You know what I mean? What do you mean? I've been nudging her to like maybe, you know, start, you know, you know, getting something going. I don't know. What do you maybe add to the fucking pot a little bit? You know what I mean? Oh, oh, you know, be creative. Okay. You know, start some making some jewelry or get a hobby or you know what I mean? Making jewelry, really? She had a dude, she made jewelry. There was a she had a company called Be Me because she her favorite. She has a bumblebee. Her last name is Weather Bee. She made this beautiful, beautiful earrings and necklaces. She would make for for it was great. And I got behind it. I had little silk bags made up be me at a website made the Be Me website with all the jewelry on it. And it was taken off. It was really taken like people were buying it was expensive. And in my brain, I'm like, this is if this fucking if I could hit at the same time and then I could promote her shit, her shit could take off. Right. Yeah. I love those couples. Well, like HGTV were the one guys, the contractor, the other girls, the wife's, the creator and they joined companies like that girl from Waco. They own like Waco, Texas or some shit like that. Yeah. And they, you know, they have stores and blah, blah, blah. And, you know, I would like that. I would like if she had something. Something I could promote with my stuff and get people to buy her thing. And then her thing starts making a lot of cash. And then I don't have to, you know, worry about my thing so much. No, we should do what you meet. Yannis. Yeah. We live in the same area. Yeah. We just get a restaurant. My wife's got recipes. My wife's got certain things. We take your wife's best stuff. Yeah. My wife's best stuff. Yeah. Yannis's wife's best stuff. Make the menu. Put it up in northern Westchester. Yeah. We still do our thing. We don't do nothing. Well, we do what we do. We stand up. Yeah, we do. We do our thing. We just have to show up like once. Yeah, just, you know, but here's the thing. There's three of us. So you go one week, see how things are going. I go one week. Yannis goes one week. We go tour, do our thing. And the ladies have a nice, beautiful thing. They're running good food. So the ladies have to run a restaurant all day long. Yeah. Backed up with your money. Huh? Backed up with your money. Oh, we got to pay for it? Well, yeah. We have to fund this. Well, they run it. Fund is a crazy idea. We fund it. We fund it. They run it. That's a fair deal. Yeah. I don't like this idea. I don't like our wives being friends. Do you really want our wives being friends? I mean, if they're taken in cash, dude. Mm, yeah. Restaurant business and money pit. Nah, dude, I'm thinking something else. We got to think of something else. What are you thinking? Let's see if they want to, you know, we could start some type of like middle-aged. What? Stripper thing. No, we send them out. Dude. We could be their pimps. Well, I'm sorry. It was very negative there. I felt like yesterday. It rubbed off on me yesterday. I shut you down. You know what, Paul? I mean, I'm talking about good menu and he's just like, it's a money pit. You can't do it. I know. It's not me. Yeah, yeah. It's not. You seem like that. I just realized that. You know, it's a good guy. He realized what he did. I apologize, too. You guys just burned down a dream. You burned down a dream on the spot. I apologize. Boss is gone. I'm not boss. Okay. I apologize. I love restaurants. Yeah. I love restaurants. There you go. You got three smart, great women who know how to cook. You put it on the menu. Lord knows Westchester's not New York City, so we got to get that. How do you think it's going to go when we tell wives, hey, we're going to open a restaurant. You got to do all the work and you got to cook. By the way, you guys got to be there 24-7 for the first three years. But we'll be on the road. We're going to be going to have it fun. I'm going to be down in West Palm Hills because we were hanging over Verzi's dad. Yeah. Dude, let me tell you something. I feel better already. What a better vibe. Thank God you were coming in today. Well, thanks for having me. Thank God I didn't have Voss on Wednesday. We would have had a... In the week. Oh, God. Could you imagine going through the whole weekend, all of us alone? Oh, man. I was like, I need to go in today so I can wash yesterday off the stage. We would have to go on a special Thursday show. I know. I think I could have made it to Monday. You should be worried about your friend. You got to call him up at the Grinch. Are you okay, dude? I just want to let him go. I'm just going to let him go. Look, I don't want to try and look at vibe. What do you mean it was a good show? I get it. It's just not radio. I don't know. I don't know if something happens at a certain age where... You're acting like you're 80. Well, here's the two thing too. I've never been a co-host with him. He's always been on something with me, with somebody, right? So I've never had that thing. I never... He's never been in that position where he's had that much responsibility on him. He's always been that guy where there's other people in the room that you could kind of go to while he's farting, burping, sipping, checking his phone. And calling. Showing the grandkids. Yeah, that type of shit. So I don't know, we'll see. I hope he has a good life. You... Bobby wrote him off mentally. It's over. Buddy, we all did. I mean, Liz is Christ, dude. Christine was like, we have to... Next time we have guests, we have to all talk about it. We can't just let Bobby choose. We all have to give a thumbs up. They should have pranked you today and made your card not work in the building. Yeah, you really want to prank me? You should have Voskimin again. I would have left. I would have walked out. I would have been, I'm out of here. Berzi, it's on you. Paul Verzi, he's going to be at Penfield Pavilion in Fairfield, Connecticut on May 8th. Tomorrow. And then tomorrow night. So go check him out. If you're in Connecticut, check him out. Hilarious, funny as hell. And Zany's Rosemont, the 29th and the 30th. After that, he's going to be in Point Pleasant, New Jersey, Manchester, Connecticut, Ohio for tickets and all the tour dates. Go to paulverzi.com. Thank you so much for coming in. No dude, thank you for having me.