Christ With Coffee On Ice

being alone isn't the answer

42 min
Feb 27, 2026about 2 months ago
Listen to Episode
Summary

Host Allie Yost explores grace within the church community, arguing that Christians should extend the same forgiveness to fellow believers as they do to non-believers. The episode addresses church hurt, the dangers of isolating from community after betrayal, and the biblical imperative for unity and accountability within the body of Christ.

Insights
  • Church hurt often stems from unrealistic expectations that Christians should be perfect; recognizing that all believers are flawed and in process reduces disappointment and enables grace
  • Isolation from community after church hurt is spiritually dangerous—Jesus modeled communal discipleship and referred to believers as 'the body,' making community non-optional for Christian growth
  • Faith rooted in human behavior rather than Jesus himself becomes fragile; when people fail, faith collapses unless anchored directly to Christ's character and promises
  • Scandals and failures in the church are opportunities for believers to become part of the solution through love, honesty, and accountability rather than sources of despair
  • Forgiveness is not optional but foundational to Christian fellowship; refusing to forgive others creates a relational wedge with God, not loss of salvation but broken intimacy
Trends
Rising 'church hurt' narratives driving spiritual deconstruction among young adults, particularly womenShift toward therapeutic Christianity that emphasizes emotional processing and mental health alongside faithGrowing tension between accountability culture and grace culture within evangelical communitiesIncreased focus on communal discipleship and small group ministry as antidote to isolation and spiritual burnoutReframing of church failures as redemptive opportunities rather than reasons for faith abandonment
Topics
Grace and forgiveness within Christian communityChurch hurt and spiritual trauma recoveryChristian accountability without judgmentCommunity as non-negotiable for faith growthExpectations management in church relationshipsIsolation versus communal discipleshipRedemption of church scandals and failuresFaith anchored in Christ versus faith in peopleSanctification as ongoing processBiblical forgiveness limits (Matthew 18:21-35)Enemy tactics of division and separationVulnerability and trust-building in faith communitiesProcessing hurt through prayer and counselingIron sharpens iron principle in spiritual growthDouble-mindedness in faith and community rejection
People
Peter
Biblical figure whose question about forgiveness limits prompted Jesus's teaching on unlimited grace in Matthew 18
Joseph
Biblical figure whose story illustrates God's redemption of evil intentions for good (Genesis 50:20)
David
Biblical psalmist cited as example of processing hurt and emotions honestly before God in the Psalms
Quotes
"The church is not Jesus himself. I think that if we are going to be in community and we are going to be Christians and we are going to also walk with other Christians, we have to acknowledge that people fail. But Jesus doesn't."
Allie Yost~15:00
"If those things truly are leading you to a place of like, I don't want to be a Christian anymore. I will say gently and with all the love in my heart, it probably means that your faith was actually rooted a little too much in human behavior rather than Jesus himself."
Allie Yost~18:00
"Community is not optional. Christianity is communal at its core. We need one another. It's not a coincidence that Jesus refers to us as the body and he is the head of the body."
Allie Yost~65:00
"It's in the body. It's in community where we grow the most in our faith. Iron sharpens iron and so I actually think the best way that we become sharp, the ways that we grow the most in our faith is not only just walking with Jesus, but it's like especially also in community."
Allie Yost~75:00
"Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other just as in Christ God forgave you. (Ephesians 4:32)"
Allie Yost~78:00
Full Transcript
Hello, everybody. Welcome to another episode of Christ with Coffee on Ice. I am your host, Allie Yost. It is a joy and honor to be here with you guys today. Happy Friday, you guys. Happy Friday. We are back for another week and it is my favorite day of the week I get to spend with you guys. I love my job. I love what I do. And I'm really looking forward to all of the ways that the Lord is going to move in today's episode. It's so funny. I was just spending time with Jesus just praying over this episode and I got so weepy. I was like, wait, Lord, we can't do this right now because I just did my makeup. So I'm like on the floor, my face is down. I'm like trying to let my tears just kind of fall to the floor. You know, I don't know if you girlies know that trick where like if you're getting emotional and it's like just a bad time and you just tilt your head down and let your tears just fall straight to the ground instead of it going down your face. If you don't know that trick, you're welcome. Anyway, and I don't even really understand why it was happening, but I have a really good feeling that today's topic is one that a lot of you guys need to hear. And I actually pray that in talking about this and processing through this specific thing, it will actually end up giving you guys more freedom if this is an area that has been hard for you. Yeah, I'm excited. I'm looking forward to it. I'm looking forward to how this honestly pans out because, shocker, as it always goes, I'm like, I don't know, Holy Spirit, it's your show. Move. Me doing this podcast is literally that one script, like epitome of that one scripture it's Matthew 10 19 through 20 and it says do not worry about what to say or how to say it at that time you will be given what to say for it will not be you speaking but the spirit of your father speaking through you that is literally Christ with coffee and I summed up in one scripture truly that is how I feel like 99% of the time is I'm like okay God do your thing what do you want your people to know and so I am really excited to see how he moves today but before we get into it we do obviously have our Christ we have our word of God here and so I would encourage you guys to also grab your Bibles because we will be referring back to scripture these are the receipts that we will always provide I never want to be the kind of person that gets on the internet and preaches the gospel and says just trust me your trust should not be in anything other than God, Word of God, Holy Spirit, Jesus. And that goes for me too, okay? So the thing we put our trust in is the Lord and the Word of God. And so today's episode will be anchored in scripture. Love that. Thank you, Jesus, for the Bible. And then secondly, we do have our coffee on ice in our cutesy little glass tumbler. I have my coffee with almond milk and it's gorgeous and amazing. And it's just what I needed right now. So praise God. All right, you guys. So today I would love to talk about grace and specifically grace within the church. And it's so funny because when I was talking to the Lord today about what we would talk about, a simple kind of phrase or like sentence came to my mind where it was like expectations within the church. Like talk about how our expectations when it comes to other Christians are sometimes a bit unfair. And I feel like it's really easy for us, in most cases, I would imagine, it's pretty easy for us to give grace to people who are in the world. People who are not within the church, within the body, right? People who are not saved by Jesus or they haven't accepted Jesus as their Lord and Savior. So it's like a lot of us can really have so much grace for people like that because it's like, oh my gosh, they're so lost, they're so broken. Their lives are not anchored in the truth of who they've been created by and created for. And so it's a lot easier to extend that kind of compassion to people who are not within the body. But sometimes I find that we don't extend the same grace to people who are within the church and there's a part of that that is so understandable because ultimately I think our brains can go to a place of like okay honestly like these people should know better they do know better because they call themselves a Christian and they say that they love God with all of their heart but they definitely don't act like it and so I think it's a lot easier for us to like kind of cut people out when they are within the body because you're like well they know better those people out there who don't know Jesus, like I get it. But these people over here, there's no excuse for that. Like they should know better. And in a lot of cases they do because it's like if you're within the body, you know how you're supposed to act. You know, you know in the ways that we are called to be different and set apart. And so I think what I would really like to speak on today is how it's actually not different the amount of grace that we are supposed to give to people who don't know Jesus to people who are within the church while also obviously holding people accountable. It doesn't mean that accountability flies out the window, that we're not supposed to call each other higher. Like extending grace to people within the church does not exclude accountability. But there is no difference in the amount of grace that we are supposed to be giving people within the church versus out of the church. And I actually think that the reason that this topic came to my mind is because yesterday I was having a conversation with a friend who was having a conversation with a woman who said that she identifies as somebody who is spiritual and was a Christian slash tried to be Christian before but does not identify as a Christian anymore and is not interested in Christianity because she was hurt by a Christian. And in my mind, I heard that and I was like, wow, like you were hurt by one. And honestly, I don't know to what depths, right? I don't know this woman. I was not having the conversation with her directly. So there's a part of it where I'm like, I don't know the details of what this means. But I was kind of shocked that all it took really was like one person treating her poorly who claimed to have been a Christian to be like, nope, don't want anything to do with the entire body of it. I don't want anything to do with the entire religion of it. I don't want anything to do with Jesus because of it, because of how one person treated her. And in my mind, I was like, that's crazy that that's all it took for her to be like, nope, I want nothing to do with it. Sorry. I had a bad experience with a Christian and I'm just spiritual. And it really got me to thinking about the standard that we hold Christians at. And what even got us to the topic of this friend sharing this conversation, this interaction that she had with this other woman, what even got us to that part was I said something where I was sharing, because like there have been some things that have been coming out in the church about certain individuals and also I'm just like whatever that's like not new, right? Like there's a new scandal all the time unfortunately within the church, right? About leaders and people of power and influence and it's just an unfortunate part of being a Christian is like in the church outside of the church like we are all so so so broken and I think the longer that I've been a Christian the more I've realized like genuinely how broken the church is and I don't know why that was so shocking to me in the beginning I think maybe I also could have been guilty of like maybe putting Christians on some type of pedestal in my mind in the beginning when I first started walking with Jesus was being like, oh my gosh, these people are amazing. This is so much better than the people I was interacting with and having relationships with in the world, right? People who weren't rooted in Christ. And yes, there is truth to that. Like I will say that my relationships with people within the body, people who are Christians are much healthier than the relationships I was trying to have in the world. That is true. But I think an unrealistic expectation that I had, which honestly just comes from experience, like the more you walk with people, the more you see their flaws, you know? And so I think after a couple years of walking with Jesus and walking with other people who walk with Jesus, I realized, oh yeah these people are capable of hurting me too you know and um the truth is is like recognizing that people within the body are not Jesus yes it is our mission and our goal in life to be his hands and feet yes we are to be led by Jesus and for him to be our shepherd and to be as Christ-like as we can. But the other truth to that is the reason Jesus had to die for us was because of how imperfect we are. And so something that I had realized pretty quickly is that the church is not Jesus himself. I think that if we are going to be in community and we are going to be Christians and we are going to also walk with other Christians, we have to acknowledge that people fail. But Jesus doesn't. When we mix up the two, expecting the church to be flawless like Christ, we set ourselves up for disappointment. A truth that we need to anchor ourselves in is having our faith in Jesus himself and not in the works of humans. Not in human behavior. And I think a simple indication on whether you're putting your faith in human behavior versus just Jesus himself is if people within the church let you down, hurt you, burn you, backstab you, cheat on you, like whatever that looks like. Those are all awful things. Awful. But like if when those very things happen and you're contemplating your entire faith, you're contemplating Jesus himself, you're contemplating whether you even want to follow Jesus anymore. I want to say that I mean, I have so much compassion for those feelings and I think I would feel the same way. I would feel the same way. I'd be like, Lord, no offense, but why? Who even are you? How did I get here? How could you allow this to happen? Who are these people? I feel like I've never actually known them. Like, that's all real. And so I'm not invalidating that. I think that would also be parts of my processing as well, is if I was in a situation like that, I'd be like, Jesus, who even are you? What is this all fake? What even is this? Right? So that's okay. But I will say that like, if those things truly are leading you to a place of like, I don't want to be a Christian anymore. I will say gently and with all the love in my heart, it probably means that your faith was actually rooted a little too much in human behavior rather than Jesus himself. Guys I am so excited about today sponsorship for the pod So the mattress I been sleeping on for the past few I don even know how many years I don think I knew the difference between like a quality mattress and just like a mattress So my new mattress from Brooklyn Bedding has changed my life I have the Aurora Luxe Cooling Mattress. 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People who don't need Jesus need Jesus and people who know Jesus need Jesus. We all need him. And so let's just either establish our expectations right off the get-go if you are new here or re-establish our expectations. If you've already been walking with Jesus and you're like contemplating why you're even a part of the body of Christ when these people are doing this and these people are failing you in this way and you see the way these people are clearly messing up in these ways, we need to remember that people will fail us from time to time, but Jesus will never fail us. Rooting our faith in Christ, not the body of Christ. Hebrews 12, 2 reads, fixing our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of faith. He is the author. He is the perfecter of faith. He is the one that never fails. It is kind of a cheesy like Pinterest Christian Bible quote to be like people fail us but Jesus never does but it's true and so even when people fail us even when people disappoint us the first thing we need to do is run to Jesus run sprint to his feet because he is the perfecter of our faith another thing to remember about other members of the church is that we are all still in process and we will forever be until the day we die there is no we've made it like finish line and that's not to discourage anybody if anything that should like bring relief and be like oh there is no like final destination of like completion here on earth we are all forever in a process with jesus sanctification is a journey it's not instant perfection. And we don't arrive, I'm putting air quotes around arrive, just because we're at church. We haven't arrived once we've hit a certain amount of years of walking with Jesus. We all stumble. We will all stumble. And so grace is a non-negotiable in God's eyes. It says it in the Bible. Is it in Matthew? We've quoted it a few times. I should know it by now. okay I found it guys it's in Matthew 18 chapter 18 verse 21 and it's Peter talking to Jesus okay and Peter's kind of peed all right Peter is peed he's a little irritated and he's like all right Jesus no offense but like how often should I forgive someone who sins against me like seven times right and then and then and then they don't get any more chances right to actually quote the scripture that was like that was ally translation okay this is what the scripture actually says it says then peter came to him and asked the lord how often should i forgive someone who sins against me seven times and jesus replies to him saying no not seven times jesus replied but 70 times seven therefore the kingdom of heaven can be compared to a king who decided to bring his accounts up to date with servants who had borrowed money from him. In the process, one of his debtors was brought in who owed him millions of dollars. He couldn't pay, so his master ordered that he be sold, along with his wife, his children, and everything he owned to pay the debt. But the man fell down before his master and begged him, please be patient with me, and I will pay it all. Then his master was filled with pity for him, and he released him and forgave his debt. But when the man left the king, he went to a fellow servant who owed him a few thousand dollars. He grabbed him by the throat and demanded instant payment. His fellow servant fell down before him and begged for a little more time. Be patient with me and I will pay it, he pleaded. but his creditor wouldn't wait he had the man arrested and put in prison until the debt could be paid in full when some of the other servants saw this they were very upset they went to the king and told him everything that had happened then the king called in the man he had forgiven and said you evil servant i forgave you that tremendous debt because you pleaded with me shouldn't you have mercy on your fellow servant just as i had mercy on you then the angry king sent the man to prison to be tortured until he had paid his entire debt that's what my heavenly father will do to you if you refuse to forgive your brothers and sisters from your heart yeesh if the fear of the lord doesn't fall on you after reading that so this passage summarized if you guys would like a little sparks note version or if you're still kind of like yeah i get it but like i don't get it this passage highlights the nature of divine mercy and the ethical demand for us to mirror it. So Peter's question assumes forgiveness has limits, but Jesus emphasizes unlimited forgiveness. The parable illustrates the massive gap between our sin debt to God, immeasurably forgiven, and the smaller offenses we hold against each other. The unmerciful servant's failure to extend forgiveness reveals a lack of understanding of grace. Theologically, it underscores that forgiven people must become forgiving people. If we truly grasp the immensity of God's mercy, we'll extend it to others. The final warning is sobering. Refusing to forgive others jeopardizes our experience of God's forgiveness, not as a loss of salvation, but as a break in fellowship with God. God is truly telling us in this scripture that one of the most important things that we should be doing for one another is forgiving each other because if we are to freely receive the forgiveness of God we are also expected to extend that same forgiveness and the truth is is that if we aren't willing to give that same forgiveness and extend it to not only people who are outside the church right because like I said it's really easy to extend grace to people who don't know Jesus because we can go ah but they don't know Jesus. I mean, even in this scripture, Peter is talking about his brothers and sisters, which is probably implying other people within the body. So he's like, okay, to my brothers and sisters. And so in this scripture, it's like, yeah, Jesus is like, your brothers and sisters infinitely. Like there is no limit to grace because there was no limit to my grace for you. And so there are real consequences to us not being willing to extend grace to one another in the same way that Jesus extends grace to us. And it's not that God revokes our salvation. That's not what the scripture is saying, but it will put a break in fellowship with God. It will put a wedge between you and God. Because the truth is, is like, how are we to walk in fellowship with God if we are not willing to reflect every part of who he is as well? like how can we walk fully in fellowship with God and be like yeah God I want to reflect these parts of you but like these other parts I don't want to I don't know how you can fully connect with God if you're putting limits on how much you actually want to reflect him and so in this parable a servant who owed a massive debt begged his master for mercy and the master forgave the entire debt but then that same servant was asked by somebody else for forgiveness but he refused to extend that same forgiveness to a smaller debt owed to him by another so the master who had originally forgave him of his massive debt by the way the master being jesus forgiving us of our massive debt which is the sins of our entire life and then us not being willing to forgive somebody for a much smaller debt that master was like bro how could you not be willing to forgive when I honestly relieved you from the biggest debt that you probably couldn't have ever gotten yourself out of and so that's Jesus going, guys, no offense, but you have no reason to be unforgiving and to hold an offense against your brothers and sisters, considering the freedom that I gave you for you to be freed from your massive debt. 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I think finding a deeper faith-based community in a season like being in college is so important. Because the truth is, is community actually shapes our walks with Jesus. And here's the really cool part. If there isn't a delight chapter already on your campus, you could be the one to start it. Fill out an interest form. You'll get connected with your own delight coach who will equip and train you to build a team. Become an official campus org and hopefully see hundreds of girls gathering together in the name of Jesus at your school. If you get the sense that God is calling you to be a leader on your campus, head to delightministries.com backslash start a delight to get started today. It's crazy to think about what God could do through your simple yes. That's delightministries.com slash start a delight to see a move of God on your campus. And so, yeah, I mean, disappointment is inevitable. People will disappoint us. That's leaders, friends, mentors. But disappointment in humans does not and should not equate to abandonment of faith or community. I think the truth is, is that when we are deeply hurt by anybody in the church, there are three things that we are to do. We are to process our hurt, seek healing, and stay rooted in God. and I think step one to processing our hurt is just being brutally honest with God about it and that could be you processing that hurt and like being honest and saying it out loud to the Lord or that could be journaling talking honestly with God about your pain honestly David is a great example of this in the Psalms we know homeboy was processing all of his hurt and all his feels in the Psalms. And I think the next step in that would just be to seek trusted community, whether it's a mentor, a pastor, or a wise friend, somebody who can really listen to you and you would trust them with those things and somebody who can pray with you. Healthy processing can also involve counseling or guidance from someone trained. And so I think those would be the first steps of really processing your hurt, which you have to. being brutally honest with God about the pain that you're feeling it's funny how much this is actually reflecting quite a theme we've been having on the podcast lately of just like forgiveness and praying for the people who hurt us but that would be the next step praying for the person who hurt you which actually does end up softening your heart we talked about that a lot a couple episodes ago and lastly staying rooted in God honestly is just keeping your eyes on scripture this is the very thing that will ground us in truth when our emotions are just kind of everywhere it's valid like the things that we're feeling and hurt are valid but also we should not trust our emotions alone so scripture and staying rooted in the word of god will be your survival in hurt okay that was a little off topic we're gonna get back onto the main message of today i I guess I just wanted to clarify. I just, I wouldn't want to tell you guys like, okay, go ahead and process your hurt, seek healing and stay rooted in God and like not also be like, okay, but how do I do that? So that was a very, very brief overview of how you could start. But I think another point to be made in all of this is that when things like this happen in the body, it is also a really great opportunity to be a part of the solution. so I think a lot of times like we can kind of get caught up in the doom and gloom of like how could this happen this is such an abomination this is so disappointing um it shouldn't be like this this is blasphemy you know and as as true as maybe some of those statements could be it's really easy to like get caught up in the swirl of negativity and like oh my gosh doom and gloom And how could this happen? Instead of also looking at it as an opportunity to be a part of the solution. Because the truth is, is like when things like that come to the light, it was all a part of God's plan. Not saying God was the one who caused the sin in the person, right? Because it's in our sinful nature. We make the choice to go against God. We make the choice to sin. It's the nature that's within us. And we're just going to mess up. And people are going to make mistakes. And so it's not that God caused it, but it being brought to the light was God. Because it says in his scripture that anything done in the dark will be brought to the light. And he makes it very clear in his word that if we are living in secret or if we are being sus or doing things we're not supposed to do, the Lord is like, okay, well, just so you know, I am the judge and you won't get away with that stuff forever. He brings things to a light for a reason. and I think one of the reasons is so that the rest of the body could use it as an opportunity to be the solution but also it's an opportunity for God to receive more glory and for that very evil thing to be used for the glory of God and for good. It actually reminds me of a scripture that's found in Genesis. It's Genesis 50 20 where Joseph is talking to his brothers and it says you intended to harm me but God intended it for good to accomplish what is now being done the saving of many lives and so what that scripture is saying is like yeah okay what the devil meant for evil what he meant for harm God is actually going to use to accomplish what is now being done which is the saving of many lives God uses what was made to harm and he flips it around and uses it for his glory and actually uses it for good and so I think something that we need to remember as Christians is like, yeah, when things come out, even in like the public, like even when it's public things, okay, we don't even have to just talk about people who are personally sinning against you and hurting you. But it's like, we see things that happen in the church as well. And it's like, super discouraging. That was honestly my POV a little bit when entering this topic is I'm like, wow, God, we're actually like wildly broken. And like the church is not looking good right now. And people are really messing up. But the truth is, is like, that's never changed. there is nothing new under the sun that has always happened within the body of Christ. This isn't like a new thing. Like there's always just going to be scandals and there's going to be people who lie and mess up. And that's just the truth. So like that's not new news. But even when we see things like that, like we could really probably be like, God, this is it. We're screwed. Christianity, we're not very good at it. But the truth is, is like we could actually see that though and be like, all right, so God, how do you want to use this for your glory? Because you've allowed this. You've revealed it. You've brought it to the light for a reason. And it's not just to discourage the body. I think it's also like a lens of encouraging the body to be a part of the solution, standing in faith and knowing like, okay, God, you're gonna have to use, like, this has to end up being good. even though it's like really bad and evil and not okay it has to be used for good because that's what you say in your word that everything that was meant to be harmful god actually uses it for good to accomplish what is being done which is his will so when we see hypocrisy or failure instead of walking away we can be a part of making the church healthier through love honesty and accountability and so I think again in a really cheesy way but like hopefully this isn't cheesy I think it's true like when we see things that happen in the church we're gonna go okay then we're really gonna lean in on love we're gonna really lean in on honesty we're gonna really lean in on accountability we're gonna really lean in on community and like not being that but choosing the opposite and saying okay this is what's happening in the church that sucks I don't like that wish that wasn't happening God but you know what we're going to be the example we're going to be a part of the solution and we're going to repay evil with love right we're going to repay the very things of what people have done to us done to others and we're going to repay it with blessings and we're going to say, okay, God, how can I be a part of the solution? How can I be a better example of who you truly are? Not a perfect one because again, like we will all fall short, but God use me as a part of the solution. Let me be an example of who you've really called us to be. I will say that I've officially entered an era in my life where I don't shop for anything in real life unless I like literally have to but I shop everything online and believe it or not guys I've discovered that there is a better way to buy blinds, shades, shutters, and drapery and it's called 3-Day Blinds. They are the leading manufacturer of high quality custom window treatments in the U.S. And obviously, like I said, we can shop for almost anything at home, but why not shop for blinds at home too? And then it actually works. What I personally love about 3-Day Blinds as well is you can choose from thousands of options that fit any budget or style. Plus, from light filtering and blackout blinds to motorization and smart blinds that work with Alexa, 3-Day Blinds is a real upgrade to your home, not just a replacement. Right now, get quality window treatments that fit your budget with 3-Day Blinds. Head to 3dayblinds.com slash coffee for their buy one get one 50% off deal on custom blinds shades shutters and drapery for a free no charge no obligation consultation just head to 3dayblinds.com slash coffee that's buy one get one 50% off when you head to the number three day blinds.com slash coffee and the truth is is like there is a very popular statement within the church and outside of the church I think that that woman that my friend was talking to is essentially describing church hurt that she was hurt by somebody who was in the church but there's a saying of like I have church hurt and I can't go back and like again who am I I don know what you been through I don know to the depths of the betrayal and the hurt that you gone through with people who are in the church So I will not speak on that as if I have any idea what it was like to go through that But the truth is, is community is not optional. Christianity is communal at its core. We need one another. It's not a coincidence that Jesus refers to us as the body and he is the head of the body. He would not say that we are to work together as a body if we weren't called to be together in community. God has a heart for unity. And what does the devil have a heart for? He wants separation. He wants isolation. Why would the enemy try so hard to isolate us, to separate us, to divide humanity? This even goes outside of the church because the truth is, we as humans were made for God and for each other. We were made to be in community with God and one another to first love God with all of our heart, mind and soul and to love others as we love ourselves. That's what we were made for. And so even when we're looking at the world, it's like not a surprise at how divided we are. Why? Because that is what the devil wants. He doesn't want any unity. He wants broken families. He wants broken communities. He wants wars. He wants us to villainize each other. He wants us to kill each other. he wants division and anything that the devil wants is because it's opposite of what God has created us for which is unity which is community so community is not an option and if you have believed that you are just supposed to be like isolated in your bubble with God like there's two ways that you could go about this after church hurt is you could be like okay I don't want anything to do with God anymore to be honest this sucks or okay God I love you but like I can't do people. So I'm just going to walk with you alone. You're believing a lie from the enemy. You're, you're double minded. You love God, but you won't love people. Well, God, I receive your forgiveness. I love you. And I really like what we have going on, Jesus. Like, I love walking with you. You're my best friend. Like, I'm obsessed with you. And like, I believe you died on the cross for me. Thank you for saving my life. But like, I can't with people. I've been too hurt by them. But Jesus is like, yeah, but babe, I died for them. And it is not fair to walk in community with me. I love you. I'm not revoking your salvation. Okay. I'm not saying that like, because you won't forgive these people, you won't be able to go to heaven and live with me forever. Like, I love you, but you do have to understand that that is going to cause a wedge between us because I'm also loyal to these people. And I know that they hurt you and it's not okay. Jesus is never going to invalidate what happened to you as like, sorry, you're overreacting. It's not okay. He'll deal with that. But like, it doesn't work. That's double mindedness. Jesus does not say, okay, and like by yourself, walk with me. It's like Jesus had a group of buddies. He had his disciples, 12 disciples, as a group for three years, they walked together. God refers to himself as our shepherd. It's not like one shepherd per sheep. We are to be in community. It is not biblical to not be in community. So even when it's messy, isolation is not the solution. It's not the solution to be by yourself. And the truth is, is it's probably going to be really, really scary and very vulnerable to put yourself back out there again in community if it's been a while since you've been in it because of all the hurt you've endured. Like no one's saying that it's going to be easy. You're probably going to get triggered. You're probably going to really struggle with trusting people again. And guess what that's going to produce in you? That is going to produce such incredible fruit in you of trust in the Lord and faith in him. And then also restoring your relationship with the body of Christ. So as dangerous as it feels, sometimes fear can be like, ah, that's irresponsible though, because the last time you were over there, you got hurt. I think the truth is, is like reevaluating our expectations and being like, yeah, people are probably going to hurt me, but you know what? I have to do this because this is what God calls me to do. He calls me to be in community, to be a part of the body. It's going to suck at first, probably. It's going to be so vulnerable. You're not going to want to do it, but it's going to produce so much good in you. It's going to strengthen your relationship with Jesus more than you ever could have if you just walked with him alone. I'm telling you, when we step out in the things that are so freaking scary, when we step out in the ways of like, okay, well, the last time I was here, God, it didn't go very well. Like I'm going to need you to survive because I can't do this without you. It is going to produce fruit in you that you could have never produced had you continued to walk with Jesus alone. It's actually in the body. It's in community where we grow the most in our faith. You'd think that if you just like were grinding with Jesus and just put your face to your Bible and spent a lot of time in the secret place and a lot of time alone that you would get there faster because you're like what do you mean it's just me and God like direct me and him nobody else but there's a scripture that says that iron sharpens iron and so I actually think the best way that we become sharp, the ways that we grow the most in our faith is not only just walking with Jesus, but it's like especially also in community. That is where we grow. That is where we heal. And that is where we reflect the body of Christ. And so I think a good way to wrap this episode also is for all of us to just feel encouraged to walk a little bit more in humility and to lower the pedestal of which we've put Christians on. When we see each other as fellow travelers, humble, broken, but redeemed, it's easier to forgive, support, and love. Ephesians 4.32 says, be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other just as in Christ God forgave you. I know that this episode was filled with a lot of hard truths and you may even be sitting with like, okay, God, I'm sorry. I'm still feeling deeply, deeply hurt and betrayed by people in the church. And I don't know how I'm ever going to get there. I think that that is your first step of getting to a good place of being brutally honest with God as you process the pain. Like that is you beginning your journey of processing the pain and being like, okay, God, I don't, I don't know how I'm going to do that. Like being brutally honest is not just about, you know being honest about what happened to you and how it hurt you so deeply it's also being brutally honest with God about how in the world you're even going to get to a place of forgiveness or trusting anybody ever again because that's real it's not an overnight thing it will be a process if this is something you've been struggling with I have so much faith that you will get to that place. I promise. And I can promise you that because there's actually no other reason that this episode happened today if it wasn't for God saying, I know that you can get to that place. And this is actually what I want for you. Believe it or not, this is like the life that I want to have for you. I want to help you overcome this. God wants to redeem this part of your story. This part of your story that feels really messed up and like truly is like making you question whether Christianity is like the answer. He wants to redeem that for you if you let him. And the first step is acknowledging all the raw, ugly, real parts of what you're feeling. And so I would love to end this episode by just praying for you. I have so much faith for you that this will be a part of your story. We're going to say and God redeemed it all. And honestly, I'd go through it all over again because of who I've become on the other side of this, the fruit that it's produced in me and the way that I actually love people better because of what I had to go through. I just know it. I believe in that so deeply for you. And so, Jesus, God, I thank you for this episode today, Lord. And I just lift up my friend on the other side of this podcast. Jesus I thank you for their life God I thank you that even in this time that is so trying you have not left their side Lord I thank you that you are not angry with them for the ways that they have doubted you in this maybe even doubted your existence doubted the legitimacy of who you are doubted the legitimacy of what Christianity even is Lord I thank you that they probably feel like a lot of the thoughts that have gone through their mind in this hurt of trying to understand how this could happen has probably felt blasphemous but you are not angry with them you have compassion for them and love for them and so god i thank you that you are right by their side it actually says in your scripture that you are near to the brokenhearted and so god I ask for your comfort right now. Holy Spirit, I pray that you fall right now on my friend, Jesus, that you comfort them. I pray the peace of God that surpasses all understanding over them from the top of their head to the very bottom of their feet, Jesus. I pray that your peace washes over them like refreshing water. And Lord, I pray through the process of them trusting again, being in community again, learning how to have grace and forgiveness for people when honestly they simply just don't know how. God, if that's where they're at, Lord, I'm asking that you provide the things that they lack. Lord, I thank you that it is in our weakness that you are strong for us. And so God, I pray that you remind them that your spirit continues to remind them to lean on you for strength, that this isn't something that they get to muster up within themselves, that the reason we can even forgive is because of the power of your spirit. It's because of the forgiveness you've already extended to us and it's overflow of your spirit that comes out of us that we are even capable of forgiving other people. God, I bless them. I even bless the people who have hurt them. And Lord, we just say we need you. God, we need you. Be in this situation. Be in this pain. Meet us here, Jesus. We need you. Heal us, God. Redeem us. We love you and we pray this in your holy, holy name. Amen. Amen, guys. I love you. I'm so proud of you. Thank you for being here for another Friday. I hope that you have an incredible day and a beautiful weekend. But before we go, can we actually do something really cool today? Can we show somebody how cool Jesus is? Can we walk more like him, talk more like him, forgive like him, be more like Jesus? Let's be his hands and feet today. I love y'all. Thank you for being here. I'll see you next week. I'll see you next Friday. Bye.