Hello, my friends. Welcome back to the Ryan Leak Podcast, where we love to keep things short and sweet for you each and every week. Got another holiday episode for you. You know, this time of year, we're all trying to figure out what to get people. And let's just be honest. There are some people who are just impossible to shop for. And my friends, I am that person. I get it. Honestly, I feel bad for my family and friends every single year. Because it's not that I'm just like a billionaire. It ain't that crazy, okay? But I make a decent enough income that if there's something that I want, I can just go get it. It's not rocket science. and the stuff that I want is not that expensive. Like the stuff that I'd be getting is like shoes. Like am I shoe rich? Absolutely. No question about it. Yeah, I can get any shoe on the planet. I ain't yacht rich. You know what I mean? Like I can't just go get any yacht that I want in the world. But it's like for the stuff that I get, it's like, yeah, If I want something which I don't want that much, it's like I can just go get it. So I'd be feeling bad for people. And you probably got somebody like that in your life. They pretty much have everything that they already want. They got clothes. They got gadgets. Maybe they got a new car. Maybe they already got the house that looks like it's straight out of a magazine. And there's nothing you can do to out-Amazon them. You can't out-target them. And every single year, you find yourself thinking, what in the world do you get somebody who already has everything? Here's the truth. I think you give them something money cannot buy. Yeah, that's right. The rarest gift you can give isn't expensive. And that gift is very, very, very specific encouragement. Yeah. Very, very, very specific encouragement. You see, vague encouragement, it's kind of like fast food. It fills the moment, but it doesn't last long. Specific encouragement, though, that's gourmet. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's special. That's Michelin star restaurant. It's the kind of thing that people save, hold on to for a decade. Literally, I've seen people keep handwritten notes in a drawer for years. I've seen them taped to mirrors, tucked into Bibles, folded into wallets, saved in inboxes, screenshotted, printed out, framed. Why? Because our words matter far more than we think that they do. I think we live in a culture that celebrates the grand gesture, the luxury gift, the exotic vacation, the big surprise. What most people actually crave is to be seen, is to be known, is to be told, I noticed this about you and it matters and it's added value to my life. So if you're wondering what to get someone who already has everything, here's my answer. Get them something that cannot be returned but will always be remembered. And that is your words. When I think about the most meaningful gifts I've ever received, they weren things They were messages They were notes They were videos of people telling me what I mean to them I gotten hundreds of thank you cards over the years Hundreds, thousands of DMs, messages, text messages. I'll just say this. The ones that stop me in my tracks are the ones that are specific. It's not, thanks for everything you do. It's not, bro, you killed it today. And I appreciate those. No question about it. I just don't really remember them. The ones I remember are the ones that say, hey, Ryan, the thing you said three years ago still shapes how I lead today. Hey, Ryan, here are the notes that I took in 2018 when you spoke on this message at this place and it's still impacting me today. Yeah, it's when somebody points to a moment, points to a phrase, a decision, a post, a video, or perhaps even a failure that made an impact on how they're living today. I think that's the secret of giving a great note, a great message. Because it's not about length, it's about detail. The more specific you get, the more valuable your words will become. Now, you might think, people already know what you think about them. But let me just tell you what I've learned. They don't. Yeah, yeah, they don't. The biggest mistake that you can make during the holiday season is to assume that they already Ready? No. Of course they know. Oh, come on, come on, come on, come on. They know. They know. My wife knows. Come on. Come on. My husband knows. Surely. My kids know. My mom knows. My brother knows. My boss knows. But I was going to tell you, they don't know. You might assume that your boss knows you appreciate them, but they don't know. You might assume that your spouse knows you love them, but they don't know. You might assume that your friends know you admire them, but they don't know. They just don't know We assume that they know we're grateful We assume that there's some affirmation there We assume that there's some appreciation there But assumptions don't have an impact on people Words do We can assume a lot of things But that's not what's going to make an impact on other people It's our words We have to actually tell people these things And sometimes we're stating something that we think is obvious, but it needs to be repeated. And now I know for a lot of people, it's got to be a handwritten note, a handwritten card. And that's what takes it to a whole new level for them. I actually like doing personal videos, personal videos where they can see my face and I can actually tell them what they mean to me. I even like doing voice memos where they can just hear my voice and hear my tone. And what that signals to them is that, well, one, it's really me. And it's a voice memo that they can save. I did one for a good friend of mine about a month ago. It was about a seven-minute voice memo. I woke up super early that morning, not on purpose. I couldn't sleep, so I don't want to make it sound like, oh, I was up at four in the morning. and I was just, you know, putting in the word. No, it ain't that serious. Calm down. I couldn't sleep at four in the morning and I thought, what if I got up anyways and just prayed for this friend and I did and I just felt like God put some things in my heart for that person and I just gave them a very, very specific, encouraging word. It was about seven minutes long and this is just what they wrote back. They said the impact that that just had on my life you have no idea I going to save that voice memo There something powerful about it Anyway and here the deal I think whatever you do, you want to communicate to the person you love. Hey, I slowed down my day long enough to think about you. And what it does is it shows effort, and effort shows love. And again, you might be listening to this thing, You're like, I'm not great with words. And I'm going to help you with that today because that's okay. You don't have to be a poet to be powerful. You just have to be honest. And so I'm going to show you how to write a note or record a video or a voice memo that people will actually keep and that they perhaps will remember for a very, very long time. Number one, start with who they are, not what they've just done. Yeah, like start with who they are. I think most of us are used to being praised for our performance, not our personhood. The greatest encouragement isn't about what people produce. It's about who they are. So instead of writing, you're amazing at your job, you could say, hey, did you know you make people feel safe at work? I love that about you. Like people just feel like they could tell you anything. Like instead of, you're such a good mom You could say, hey, the way you listen to your kids Shows me what patience really looks like There's just some genuine, like you're looking for them You're seeing something about who they are, not just what they do Do you feel that different? Because in one sentence we can affirm a role And then in another sentence we can affirm a soul like who this person embodies. I mean, you can speak to that. Man, you're already off to a good start. The second thing that I think will get your brain going a little bit when you're putting together this note, this voice memo, this video, whatever medium you want to use, that's up to you, is you want to be able to point to a moment. I want you to think about a moment. When was the last time they made you laugh? When was the last time they inspired you? When was the last time they helped you when they didn't know what to do? And you want to be able to call that out. You want to be able to say something like, you know, I'll never forget the time when you stayed up with me while I was processing that decision. Or when you shared that story last month, it reminded me what courage really looks like. You want to be able to point to a specific moment. You want to start with who they are, and then you want to be able to move to a moment where they actually did do something, where they showed up and they went the extra mile for you. And you'd be able to point that out. Hey, I was really discouraged. And I'll never forget, like, hey, you door dashed me some Tiff's treats and some cookies. And I'll never forget it. You didn't have to do that, but you did. But when you get specific, and that is the soul of sincerity. And lastly, this is big. You can do this, I promise you. The note, the video, however you're going to encourage them this holiday season. Tell them what they've taught you. I think every single person we love in our life is teaching us something. They just don't know it. So I think you can say something like, hey, did you know you've made me better? But you don't stop there. You tell them how. Yeah, you made me better. And the way you made me better is, you taught me how to forgive faster Yeah like you didn know this but like your life it taught me how to forgive faster you shown me what humility looks like in leadership you helped me believe in kindness again you've actually shown me that kindness isn't a weakness like you've you mean something to me you you've you've taught me what patience looks like you've you've taught me how to choose joy when my life isn't always joyful. Like I know what you've been through and somehow, some way you put a smile on your face every single time I see you in. And I know what you're fighting in your marriage. I know what you're fighting at this job. I know you're undervalued and overlooked and I know what you've been through, but yet somehow you show up with a positive attitude every single day. and you've taught me how to choose joy when I would rather choose bitterness. Here's what you do. When you tell people the impact they've made on you, it reinforces their purpose. It's like you're giving them a glimpse of their legacy while they're still here to hear it. Because you know what's wild? Most of us don't get that kind of feedback until we're dead. Yeah, yeah. But people get the kindest thing said about them at their memorial service. We save our best words for eulogies when people can't even hear them anymore. But what if for Christmas you gave people their flowers? Yeah, what if you gave people their flowers while they're still breathing? Let me tell you something. People might forget the gift you got them, but they will never forget how your words made them feel. ensure they may not respond right away they might get quiet i don't know they might even tear up nevertheless this is what i know years later they'll be telling somebody else i still have this note somebody gave me for christmas so this christmas or birthday or random tuesday when you're tempted to add something to the cart for them that you hope that they're going to like i would challenge you to think about not what could I add to the cart, but what could I add to their heart? Yeah, grab a card. Take 10 minutes. Be brave enough to say what you've been thinking. Maybe it's a video, whatever it is. The truth is this, your encouragement might be the thing somebody's been praying for for a long time. Because this I know, a person who has everything often doesn't have somebody in their life who's intentionally encouraging them consistently. So I'm going to encourage you to be that friend, that brother, that neighbor, that coworker, that spouse. You never know how your words might interrupt somebody else's insecurity or reignite their confidence or remind them that they matter more than they realize. So if you're wondering what to get someone who already has everything, Give them what can't be returned, but will always be remembered. Give them words that outlast wrapping paper. Words that don't need charging or upgrading. Words that remind them that they matter. Because one thoughtful note, video, or card can outlast a thousand gifts. My friends, thanks for listening to the Ryan Leak Podcast. If today's episode inspired you, I would encourage you, don't keep it to yourself. Share it with a friend. And hey, it would mean the world to me if you'd take a moment to rate, review, and subscribe. Your support helps us reach even more people with these short and sweet nuggets of inspiration. Thanks for being a part of the journey. And I'll see you next time. And oh, happy holidays and Merry Christmas.
