Caroline Stanbury & Crystal Minkoff: Lesbian Retreat & Thermostat

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Really? Really? Okay. Jeff Lewis has issues. Hey, it's Jeff Lewis and I have issues in today's episode. Caroline Standberry and Crystal Minkoff joined the show. We talk about Caroline's lesbian retreat and Himalayan bathhouses. Plus, Crystal relates to my thermostat frustrations. Good morning. So I just asked Caroline, I was curious because, you know, obviously Traders is one of the biggest shows out there right now streaming on Peacock. And the season finale is this week followed by the reunion. And it is shocking that, you know, Caroline is here doing press without any sort of handler because usually there's Bravo handlers. There's NBC handlers. And then what did you say? I didn't tell them I was coming. And why do I feel like you're going to spend this entire hour trying to trip me up? I am not. I don't want to get you in trouble. I really don't. Speak for yourself. However, I'm a big Traders fan. How was the reunion? Fabulous. Were there confrontations? Yes. And you all know that because it's out there. Who else was Rufi? Well, I wasn't there, but yeah, only one. Oh, you didn't make it to the premier? No, because it was a couple of weeks before I was due to come and just couldn't. I've already been here a month. I have to move to LA at this point. So allegedly, Lisa Rena is claiming that she was drugged at this party. And I honestly thought she did actually text me the next day and tell me that. Really? Yeah. I thought I immediately thought you because you really, you have motive. No, I mean, if I had been there, I would have done it. Yes. You know, and I, I, I, I, salute to whoever did it to her. Oh, Ronnie, Ronnie and, is that Ronnie and Ben? Yeah. What are they, what show are they on today? Maybe Smith's sister or something. Okay. I'm guessing. Cause I saw them walking in. Nice. Nice. Yeah. So she's now saying that she went to the party in that, and then Colton backdrop and said she was acting all out of sorts and she didn't really seem to have drank much of anything. Smoking gun. What? Why, what? Well, doesn't Rena and Colton have beef? I don't think so. I think they, I think they resolved it. Well, I read that it came back up at the reunion and it came up really hard. Oh, stop looking over here. Honey, they resolved it because they had a handler there to resolve it publicly. Oh, I think that's what I think. Can I ask at the reunion, how long did it take to, to film the whole reunion tape it? Oh, we were there early. We said to be camera ready by about eight AM. And what time did you finish? About two, I think it was. Long day. Yeah. So long day. How many were there, were there like, say three beefs where they're five? Like when you say confrontations, can you give me an idea? No, I mean, you know, just the ones that are out there. Was it mostly between, because I don't know what's out there. Yeah. Are there most, are there mostly between housewives or, because Shane has a very interesting theory about the traders reunions. You've been a fan since the beginning. Oh, I've been watching traders forever, but my issue with the reunion is that there are no stakes because you guys don't know each other and you'll never see each other again. So a lot of time the reunion, it's this big build up and then, and then everyone's kind of like, all right, have a good life. I get that. And I think, you know, that's still true. Yeah. The housewives are the ones that definitely started the beefs and, you know, kept it going. Well, you're kind of in the same world. Like, you know, let's be honest, you live a very different life than, than a lot of the traders, you know what I mean? The gamers. The gamers. Yes. They didn't come at me for that. Right. But you more than likely are not going to see most of these people ever again. Yeah, but I actually, I mean, I didn't last long enough to have beef with any of them. And I actually really got on with everyone, which is probably why I went so fast. I don't know. I don't really, I mean, I didn't find you threatening, but maybe, I mean, you are bright. Maybe they were concerned that you would figure things out quickly and they left the dumb ones. I mean, I also think I was a really good distraction for the housewives. If I'm gone and then there's another housewife gone, how many housewives could go so fast? Right. You know, I mean, it was, it was the housewives that probably took us out. I don't think Rob would have picked me particularly. But again, you know, the housewives tend to defend each other and protect each other. So it was kind of a smart move getting rid of starting to pluck off the housewives. It was a genius move. It was. Yeah, absolutely. It seemed genuinely upset. It took the heat off all the other housewives. You were killed by Rena. I mean, I was sad to go. I wasn't surprised Rena went for me. I mean, I've said that from the day I was on the sofa. She would run over her own family to do what she needs to do. And, you know, it was a genius move on her point. I think had it not been her in that turret, I'd have lasted a lot longer. Oh, for sure. Yeah. I mean, it was, no one would suspect that there's two housewives, if all the housewives have been killed. No way. So she was, you know, she's very smart. It's smart. And she's always said it was gameplay. I mean, she was, she did it. She did it well. I mean, you know, at my expense a hundred percent, but you know, would I have done it to her? Absolutely. Does the audience, are we watching the like similar how it's experienced in the house? Sort of the tone. Are we watching it correctly? You're watching it completely correctly. Let me tell you, because once you're in that game and, you know, I couldn't understand why your phone's taken, you have no outside world communication. You're in that game. Like you're second guessing everyone, everything. Because, you know, obviously, as I explained to you before, I've, I mean, I've met you twice. I don't know if you're having a bad day or if your whole tone has changed. Or if you're just a bitch. Yeah. Right. No idea. You know. Do you, I mean, I don't know. I mean, the lack of integrity it takes to lie to all those people's faces. When they're asking you flat out, are you a traitor? I would have a real hard time with that. No, you wouldn't. You just gauge through on that. I would have a real, I mean, I would be, it would be easier for me to be a faithful because then I could answer that truthfully. Sure. But I think I would have a real hard time lying if I was a traitor. I think you would until you really convince yourself, like the last, this past week, it's like Rob's like, I have to keep reminding myself this is a game. Right. So you have to like, it's like acting. Like you have to put yourself in that position. It's like, I'm acting as a traitor. I'm in a video game right now. And this is what it is. I would imagine that's how you have to keep going. I think as time goes on, it gets harder because you can't remember your own lies. I presume. But and who you've told Oscar's Oscar should be on traders. Yeah. What do you relate to that is question because he's not listening. Why? Yeah. Okay. Never. Why would I relate to that? The theme at the reunions a lot, which you'll see on MJ season, especially she was very hurt because all the Bravo people are like, you know, there's we're authentically ourselves. We tell the truth, but the gamers are like, you were playing a game. You lie. You like, that's the point of this. And so the Bravo girls get so hurt and personally feel upset and they're like, we're just playing the game. Well, look, you know what would really upset me because I kind of love the Johnny Tara alliance. I just spoke to her. I think they're so adorable, those two. And I love their relationship and their friendship. And I guess if one of them was a trader and lying to them, their best friends, that would break them. Yeah. That would break them. And I would have chosen Tara to be, to recruit because then that would be like the ultimate chaos. Totally. They would break down. Yeah, but remember, he's not aware that they're best friends. True. Interesting. And so you never felt that way in the house. No. They really pretended like they were brilliant. I had no clue that they knew each other. I actually asked them because they were so separate. I'm like, you've never met on the circuit. I mean, what an idiot I am. I'm like, but I, you know, I also, I hadn't seen it. You know, I don't know. Right. And you can't Google it. Wow. Olympics together. I didn't know that. Oh, I knew that. I didn't know that too. And, and I think they're shocked how many people didn't know that. Yes. And now, I mean, what a cute, I'm having dinner with her tonight. Are you? Yes. And what a cute little duo they are. Please tell her, she's one of my favorites. I think she's so adorable. Tell her to come on the show. Oh, she's struggling. She texts me this morning going, you know, are they really angry with me? Because, you know, she was crying a lot on the show and she was, she, she was the one that really struggled. She would come in, she goes, who mentioned my name? Who mentioned my name? And I'm like, Tara, everyone's mentioned your name. That's the aim of the game. But I think because we're so used to being house wise where people talk about us constantly, she's never had to deal with this. It was so difficult for her. She would have been a terrible trader. Oh, she'd have been out within a second. Terrible. But she had me at that round table when she was like professing her, you know, I'm a faithful and this is why. And I'm like, oh. I screwed herself over with the whole world. We're all going to go for Natalie. And then like, I didn't say that. I wouldn't say that. Yeah. It's like, girl, now you just put a target. Now she looks like a real trader, but she's fun to watch. She's very earnest. So Trader Season 4 is streaming now on Peacock. The season finale as well as the reunion is this week. And it was the first time that I've ever watched it and I'm hooked. Now I do have a question for you. Yes. Was there, I know you weren't there long, but did you feel like an allegiance or an alliance or a connection with a particular contestant? Yeah. Yes, I did. Really. I mean, that wasn't shown because there's only 22 people to get through and I realize now that the traitors are the story they're really trying to get across. But I had an amazing relationship with Johnny and Colton in there. So yes, I did. It's, would you ever do it? Crystal, you would do it, right? Yeah. Everyone wants to do it. Everybody wants to do the show. Whoever says they don't like. All right. Well, now we need to switch gears because we have to talk about what's really important, which is your lesbian retreat at the Sequoia National Park. Actually, I was going to talk to you about, we're not lesbians, but it was so good. I wouldn't mind being a lesbian afterwards. It was brilliant. But I have to say none of your, my sales pitch here didn't work. Just so you know, because I was going to tell you. But you know what everyone calls up about? We have to get a head start. Well, maybe it's probably too expensive for, you know, here. Shut up. But, but, but I'll tell you the one question, the things that everybody asked me. The blood, I mean, I need to have shares in the peptides now. If I get one more question from your show about peptides and how I stay young, that came loud and clear. Okay. That is another, so we'll bounce around subjects, but that is another subject that I wanted to bring up because, you know, we see all these Instagram influencers, right? And they're all selling products and creams and peptides and pills and exercise equipment and all that. I'm not selling them. I wish I was at this point. No, but you need to be. And I'll tell you why, because there was an influencer in China that she, she allegedly, she lost 140,000 followers after a filter glitch. Revealed her true face. So here's someone that's making money, selling all these beauty products that she's filtering herself. There's a filter glitch. You see her true face. She loses 140,000 followers and deals. You're the real deal. Like I see you in person. You look incredible in person. You don't need a filter. And I always say that to Patty Stanger too. She doesn't fucking need a filter. I don't know why she has a filter. I got a filter face from, she looks great. I know. Well, I'm 50 and what three, how many weeks now? Not long. I think about a month. And I think that's why I get all these questions. So I do, I need to think very quickly and, and, and do my own petrification. You need to be monetizing this. Yeah. Now, so back to your lesbian retreat. Yes. Now, how many, there were 17 women. Yes. Okay. So 21 with a wall of us. It was brilliant. Now, I did think it was funny that the campground, they heard their name mentioned on this show and then they wanted, I think they wanted audio clips. Oh no. And our concern was that we talked about, we said it was a scam. Yeah. We said it was a lesbian retreat and we had to give, you know, we gave them the audio. You gave them, you gave it to them. Why do they want it? Why would you do that? I don't know. I mean, I mean, they wanted to use it for marketing purposes, but I don't know if that's a good idea. I think their competitor should use it for marketing purposes. Okay. Lesbian campground retreats. That's, but anyway, it was, you know what, really, really fun. We had amazing women. One woman was selling, you know, like a company to BlackRock. One woman lives in Vegas and like has her own plane. Like fabulous woman flew all the way over. But the weather looked terrible. Doesn't it just added, I can't tell you how special it was. Ask any of them, the messages they're putting up now, if they all want to come back with the ones that you put up or the ones that they put up. I'm reposting them dying. Campground and rain is not that great. It really was. But I can't afford it. You know what it was, it was just taking everybody out of their normal life and we just had such a good time. So how many, how many air streams were there on the campgrounds? Oh, I don't know. I think there's like 30 something. Oh, so everyone had their own air stream? You're not sharing an air stream. No, yes, we all had our own air stream. Only discussing people. I feel like sharing a bedroom in Phoenix, Arizona. Correct. Disgusting. So there you are. You're on a camp. You're standing on a campground. It's raining. And you're in a full length brown mink coat with a matching hat. Do you follow me? It was like, it was like Troop Beverly Hills. Some of them, one of them lives in Bella. One of them lives as a huge, I mean, amazing women. They're all accomplished women. I don't know. I mean, you know, it was fabulous. How many nights did they have to stay? Three. They didn't have to stay. Okay. And they want to go. And then did you have like campfires and smores? Campfires. We talked. We laughed. We had a best time. And because they're all from this kind of lifestyle, it was so fun bonding over our trailers. Everyone was like, oh, I'm not sure about the trailer. By the end, everyone's like, I want an airstream. They loved it. Oh, it was nice. I saw a picture of the interior. It looks nice. And it smelled okay. Smelt perfect. Okay. I loved it. And then straight from there, we went to a luxury hotel in San Diego for a huge match. Like it's not like we're not living there. It was an amazing experience that all of them, did you saw my tents with all the chandeliers? Beautiful. They were insane. Until the hail came. No, but that's what made it so special. Oh, when the tent collapsed from the hail. It didn't collapse, which I'm actually shocked by. Did it dent the top of the airstream, all that hail? No, nothing. It was amazing. Like, you know, you'll feel free to reach out to these people and ask them if they enjoyed it because they've all signed up for the next one. Wait, it's fun making fun of her now, but I'm really looking forward to hearing after Phoenix. You guys all sharing bedrooms and bathrooms together, how that's going to go. So how many people? It should be about, right? How much? So 17 people. Was it 10 grand a pop? Around that, yeah. God, that's a great scam. And then do they put it on multiple credit cards? You max out their credit cards, right? Or do you offer financing? They don't need financing. Did I tell you who was on that trip? Okay. Yeah. That's why nobody else from your, when you offered, what was it, to get double financing and max out their credit cards? No one signed up. Weirdly. I don't know why, because we're only charging 28%. Weirdly. I think 10 grand makes sense for three nights. Yeah. Did you have staff there? Like, do you have a housekeeping service? Who's cleaning the airstreams? They are. Not the people staying. So you have to make your own bed? Yes. And then you have to clean the airstreams? Absolutely. Do you have plenty of hot water in that airstream? Absolutely. Yes. Do they have generators? Are they hooked up to electrical? Yes. Electrical, you know, everything. And then we had the party planners came in and built these amazing sets for us. So every day was a different table layout, a different theme in the tent, different chefs came in. It was fantastic. So like, what's a typical breakfast? We had eggs, bacon croissants, bagels, smoked salmon. So, the traitors. I brought all of it in. Wow. And then the first night was Mexican night? Yes. So what did you have? You had margaritas? Margaritas. And what else? And we had quesadillas. Very Mexican. So you bring in quesadillas and margaritas and you call it Mexican night? Yeah. The next day we had barbecue. What do you call it? This is adorable. And quesadillas. What do you call them? And margaritas. Did you have chips and salsa? Did we have chips and salsa? No, we didn't have chips and salsa. Oh, that's too bad. And then we did barbecue night. We did, what else did we do? We did lots of different night. Anyway, don't be jealous you weren't on it. It was fabulous. No, actually I'm a fan of it. Thank you. Should we go to the next one, Crystal? Yes. So where does the learning part come in? Like, where do we learn? How do we learn? So we do one on one. Basically, each woman sort of tells their story and how they got here. Some incredible stories. One woman was a Jehovah's Witness and had to leave her whole family behind. One woman. To go on this trip. In life. But that too. The way you laugh at your own jokes is a bit tiny. I know. I know what else is. That's the problem. And I just like the dinner. I just like the dinner. It looks beautiful. I love it. It looks like a wedding. It is. I mean, that was just stunning. One woman was, you know. That's gorgeous. That's the new way though. Like that kind of has a snake-like dinner table setting. That's before, yes. It all collapsed, exactly. Nothing collapsed. I bet those tents leaked. No. I swear to God they didn't. With all that rain. On my life. But what about the mud? Going to and from your airstreams. We all loved it. I know. We laughed and laughed and laughed. Like, we really had a good time. And everyone knew I'm assuming going in to prepare for mud and wet. Oh my goodness. Yes. Yes. The oldest person that was there was 75 and a big art collector here. And she's so fabulous. At the beginning she was like, I don't want to go on the group chat with the other ladies. I just came to meet you. And then by the end she goes, put me in. Love everyone. And it was so cute. And three of the girls came back to Beverly Hills and stayed in her house for the night. What do you do when your fur gets wet like that? Dry it. Okay. Because you're not supposed to get those furs wet. Well, animals get wet. Mine's fake fur. Yes, it looks on my life. DeSavray. It's okay. You can tell us. I would tell you. It's DeSavray. Look it up. It's fake. It looks real. It's painted on there. It looks perfect. That was a lie. It was not a lie. Look it up. We don't care if it's real. I would tell you. You should tell us. Can you Google it? But you do have real fur somewhere. I actually got rid of it all because I don't think it's worth the hate I get. To be honest. I think it's totally worth it. My daughter, I got her a beautiful. Mink. A fox. A pink fox. Something that's been. For reals? For Christmas. It's so cute. It's gorgeous. It's real? Yeah. It's vintage. It is vintage. I'm a Halo Vintage. I detect. Oh my God. You're going back. Here we go. There's the hail. There's the hail. Ooh. That doesn't look fun. It was brilliant fun. So I was in there having my one-on-ones with the girls. Because we had so many heaters. You needed them out there. It's freezing. Wow. And. God, it looks cold. Is that real grass? Oh, it's so loud. How do you hear each other over the rain and the hail? Well that lasted about. Up. Somebody screaming. Somebody fell. But you know, in there, that's when we're doing the one on ones and we're all telling each other. So I went through and they tell each other, oh, tell me why they're here. And, you know, we sort of solve what the issues that they're looking at. And it's really, really, really, really special. How many people asked for their money back? I've never had one. And actually... You just connected the number? Wait, can I just tell you, on every single one, I've had at least two people from the one before back. At least. And so this one... It's a cult. Yes, it's a cult. Smart. Yes, you've got one, but yours just need to max out credit cards. I need to monetize it like you've monetized your cult. You should do a retreat. I know. No one's going on a chump check. Well, they will, but I mean, you will be arrested on that chump check. I can only imagine I'll go down on that. Can I tell you, you could actually charge so much, like beyond chump con. You could like really... You could do it up. I can see you want a Disney cruise with your lot. I want to go to that campground. Yes, go. Sequoia National with Stay in the Air Streams. But maybe in the summer. He's just going to be on my coattails, isn't he? I'm going to the Maldives next. Oh, so are we? Oh, why are you... So how many of these are you going to do a year? And so the same people go... For a year? Mm-hmm. So you reach out and say, oh, we have an exclusive offer for you. We'll give you 10% off, but not really. No, I mean, first of all, no one's looking for any money. This is the wrong theme. We're not discounting. If anything, it's a Birkenbag of retreats. You come... If you want to come, you come. If you don't, don't. It's totally up to you. We've got 4,000 people waiting. Speaking of Birkenbags, you're headed to Paris, hopefully to get another one. Yes, I'm going to. Yes, we are both probably going to... You're both going together? I'm getting a bag. We're not together. She's going to leave after me. I'm going for my birthday bag and she's going for... Every year you go for a birthday bag. Of course I will. Every year. How many Birkins do you have at this point, Caroline? Enough. As many of fur coats. Do you have as many fur coats as you do fur coats? No, I got rid of my fur coats. I'm keeping my fur coats. So do you have two dozen, three dozen, one dozen? I don't know. They're all boxed. Oh, you keep them in boxes? Well, I keep the new ones out. Okay, yeah. The ones I wear every day. How many do you have at this point? I have a few. What is these people like? Who cares? Just say it. I don't count. She lives in LA. Do you want... You're not related. I have two other women. One of you are relatable. She was already robbed, weren't you? They were not relatable. People relate to us. Yeah, they've got to us, of course. They relate to us. Of course. Maybe not on this show, but on other shows. You make us talk about Birkins and her retreat. I'd hate for people to find out that you guys have more than one Birkin. We have a few. I honestly have no idea. What color is that that you have today? This is sort of, I don't know the name of the color. It's a pretty color. Yes, there's like a bluish grayish green. It's under the green family. What's the color of my eyes? I don't have that, but I don't buy very many wintry ones because I live in a very... I'm all about color for bright colors because I live in Dubai. So you don't like her bag? I do like her bag very much, but I... But you would never wear it. She likes it for crystal, but not for herself. I have a fashion question for them. It's... I have an Hermes twilly. Can I put it on a different brand bag because I don't have an Hermes bag? No. So do I just tie it on my hair? Sorry, is that right? You could put it on a Chanel bag or something, then. She doesn't have a Chanel bag. Can you clarify what an Hermes twilly is? Yeah, what's a twilly? That's what she wants to wear. Put it in your hair. Put it in your hair. Put it in your hair. Okay. Like a bow. That's what I usually do. But it's cute on your bag. I don't know. I can't guess. I don't know why you couldn't if you didn't have one. See, look, we disagree, so... Do you do twillies on your bag? I don't. But it's okay for crystal. Michael Koss actually told me he would shoot me if I put one on my bag. It's funny. Who's gonna shoot you? Who's gonna shoot you? He doesn't shoot you? Well, we've been friends over 50 years. He told me I couldn't have one. Can I tell you why I do it? I do it to keep my handle clean. But you're right, because I wear a lot of... I have white. And it gets... And it gets dirty. So that's why I bought one, and he told me I couldn't put it on my bag. So you wouldn't be caught dead with crystals bag or twilly? I didn't say that. I like crystals bag very much. And I actually went to buy a twilly, and Michael wouldn't let me put it on my bag, but I have a white bag. Michael who we visit in Hermes. Michael bag. I see. Yes. But I want to get a white one. Yeah. I don't have a white bag. Well, I don't have a white... When do you leave for Paris? Soon. She doesn't say dates, because her house got broken into. I don't say dates. So is that what you... But don't you have people at your home anyway? Yeah, I think... What? I do. I have a lot now. Of course, I have a lot. And it's me, and I'm tough. Yeah, that's... You are. But I still don't. And I'm going alone. It's not like... I mean, there's only a whole house is full, but still I just don't. Soon. Okay. Very soon. So I would love... Not right after this now. What's happening with the cookware? I saw Doug cook... It's doing very well. I saw Doug cooking with it. Thank you. Yeah, it's awesome. I actually was cooking yesterday. I did like a Korean dinner for the family. And I literally... I was putting... I had all my vegetables and I have a new cookware online. And I was like putting on the plate. I said to Rob, like, look how great this cookware is. Like, you don't have to even clean it. Like, you don't even need to use oil. It's crazy. It's the best stuff. I want some. It's 14 pieces? 14 pieces. Oh, how am I getting that home? I don't know. Well, you ship it to Dubai, right? Oh, yeah. It's only $2.99. Well, I won't. How do you pronounce it again? Buck and Swiss is the... Yeah, is my name. So when Doug promotes it, does it help or hurt your business? Um, it has... Yeah, to know yet. Yeah, I'm guessing. No, of course it helps. Because Doug is a real chef. I think he's got a great business. What? I didn't see that. Like, after the last time, he told me that I was going to be inundated. I think the lesbian retreat in a caravan actually hurt my business. I would... Honestly, I thought you would attract more lesbians. Just knowing you. Rich lesbians. Yeah. I guess there's not as many rich lesbians as I thought. Yeah. I thought they were on every corner. You watch. It's... There's a line out the door. Yeah. Of rich lesbians. Yes, she just doesn't... It's hiding. Are they buying your cookware? Yes, they are. But it's a lot easier. Hers is one weekend. Mine is available all the time on... And it's also... It sounds like a weekend from hell. With rain and the hail and the lack of hot water. Incredibly fun to me. Thank you. You may come on my Rich Lesbian Retreat. I love you. I love you. I want to go just for Mexican night. I love quesadillas. Me too. Is that not Mexico? No, it's just the way you said it was very... Yeah. Yeah, you went all out for that one. I'm in the kitchen with Charlie Bigum. So what have we got here, Charlie? My brand new pan-fry pad thai noodles. Noodles? But you're Mr Fish Pie Guy. Guilty. And what? Ovens, roulette roasting. The pan is king of noodling. Whether it's pad thai, yakisoba or laxer, finding that perfect texture is a bottomless noodle rabbit hole. But all I have to do is stir it in the pan for six minutes, right? Bingo. Try the new Charlie Bigums Asian Pan-Fry Noodle Range, handmade in my kitchen. Pan-fried in yours. At two-e, we give you more. More outfit choices, with 20 kilograms of luggage allowance as standard. More hotels built around what you love, like that swim-up suite. More race you to the bottom, water parks on site. More, ooh, that looks good. Food options from poolside snacks to ala cart dining. Book on app, in-store or online. You book it, too, we sort it. At all and after protected keys and C's apply, selected hotels are on Lisi website for details. I also want to promote your next retreat, which is in June. In the Maldives. So if you'd like to join us, it is not exclusive to lesbians. You may be straight. Oh, so you've opened it up now. I've opened it up now. Nice. And then you don't want... She's a diverse queen. You want to sign up now, and then you put a deposit down? Yes. Okay. We take all major credit cards? We do. Great. And you don't want to miss Mexican Night and Barbecue Night? Well, this will be in a hotel in a not-so-remote location. They were lucky they got fed, frankly. We were in the middle of nowhere. Right, because you brought all the quesadillas in. We brought all the quesadillas in. And where did you get those? Costco? And you just needed them up. We had chefs come in. We had proper catering come in. Oh, is that what you told them? We look after it. Well, you can see it. There was a guy making the tortillas and cheese. You can see it. You'll see. The people that come also for the different retreats, you'll see we're doing one in Bali at the end of the year. It's all led on where people are prepared to fly from. One woman came all the way from Australia for this one. Wow. I mean, if there's a hotel involved and it's nice, I'd be up for it. Yes, again. I just don't, I mean, I like an airstream, but I just don't want to, you know, be in the midst of hail and rain. Well, you know, and that's why my daughter's fur. That's why they're small and that's why they're meant to be. We don't really take anyone, you know, people, we're not really over 23, 24, really. And did you say you're on some sort of shopping channel this week? Shop LC on Thursday, 8pm in Texas. Yes. So Shop LC for Bust the Label, tune in and see Sergio and I on Shop LC. What are you selling? We're selling our gummy range. What? What? Wellness brand. A wellness brand. Yes. Not the gummies you're all used to here. Yes, I know. I took one last night, so I'm so well. No, no, we can't do that. And also we live in the Middle East, so we just don't promote anything. How many different products do you offer on the shopping channel? We offer three. Nice. And is it four easy payments? Four easy payments. Yes, the chumps would be very happy with that. You don't need to take any loans. Oh, okay. Yeah. So if I personal loan. Yeah, no personal loans. And LS696891. Oh, I see. Okay, so we have full bus bundle, essentials trio, stress list kit. Oh, okay. Now we've introduced, well, this, we've actually got a whole new line as well that's being introduced this week on Shop LC, which will be GLP ones, Bus My Stress, Bus My Hunger, all of these kind of things. Brain fog, you should take that one. Are you talking to me? Yeah. I'm seeing Asandra on Friday. Are you? Yep. I actually did a podcast with him yesterday and he's seeing actually the people that we were with all week this today. So really nice. NAD. How else am I doing? Yep. Oh, a BPC157. I'm doing that. I have to call Taja Abitbol because she said that she was going to go through everything with me to ask Dr. Asandra, but maybe you could also just make recommendations and I'll write it down and talk to him. I also saw Casabian, Dr. Casabian. Did you? Yes. He wants to give me a whole new face. Oh, done it yet. Yeah. He was a little tough on me. Oh gosh. So the neck lift isn't enough. It wasn't enough for Dr. Casabian. What does he want you to do? Lower, lower, neck lift, lower face lift. Upper eyes, lower eyes. And so? We're going to like ease into this slowly. I'm going to get a, I mean, look, I have to say if you're going all in, go all in. I did all in. I'm not going all in. I'm not going all in. I got to do this baby steps, baby steps. Baby steps doesn't work. It's like it's going to be a weird Picasso fit. Just do it. You don't have much time left. You need to hurry. Yeah. He did give me Ozympic. Thank God. He did. He was adamant. He was adamant about his opinion. Have you taken the shot already? Yeah, but it wore off on Friday. So I had lost five pounds. Then it wore off on Friday and then I ate my way through the weekend, gained the five back. Now I'm back. So then I got my new shot yesterday. Now I'm back down too. So basically went to all these doctors. You cured yourself for a minute. You need a full face lift and you got going to get skinny, but none of it worked. I told him, and with all that work done, I might as well just get it. I mean, you might as well just do a face transplant at this point. Yeah. How much is it? Who's face do you want? I said a lot. Do you not talk about prices because no one told me how much anything was going to cost? No. I mean, it depends what you're choosing. If you have to ask, you can't afford it. That's what I thought. Is this one that I can't, I don't ask. It's like over a hundred, right? It depends. I don't know what he's choosing before he was just going for the eyes. That's what I thought I needed. That's what he went for. He tried to upsell me. Yeah. My girlfriend did her full face last year. I need the trio bundle or whatever it is. The doctor here was 120 and now he charges like 180 in a year. Like that. Everyone's getting facelift. So it's like, I can't afford that and the retreat. I'd rather you is a priority. I think the retreat is a priority and I think you need it. So if you could, yeah. Can I be really honest? I'm not, it's not an impression. I think Zerf works so well. I absolutely agree with you. My face is, it's so much better. What? And I have virgin face. K beauty. It's a laser. Laser. Okay, virgin. Yeah. What are you talking about? Oh, virgin face. It's my third laser in my life and I've never injected. I've never done anything and I'm telling you. Oh, virgin face. Okay. Virgin face. It does work. No. So I feel like I can attest to it because I've never, like it's not mixing with other things. Like I haven't done anything. So like, I've literally done three. How old are you though? I'm only 43. So like, yeah. You're a baby. I am. But what I'm saying is I did a laser and I. He's like 65. At least. And I saw, I really have seen the difference. Like I was in the mirror and I was like, Zerv works. It really does. At 43 we all looked like you. All right. But I've already think I'm saying like. It does work. It does work. So if you're out there like on the fence, keep going. I'm going, when am I due back? Like you told me six weeks. Yeah. So like a few more. Let's go right now. All right. I mean, I would hang up your earphones and run. I can't get there fast. We'll finish the show. It's okay. But you know what? I mean, also it's. It works. Oh, here we go. Lays. I know, but then there's a certain age. I do lasers as well. And you look great. Yeah, she does. She's got amazing. Stop laughing. No one's laughing with you. We're looking at a video of another Asian woman. Yes, that's right. I did it. I did it. I did it. You don't, you don't have. It works. His neck. No, I don't have the neck. You don't have the neck. You don't have the neck. I don't have the neck. I don't have the neck. No, I don't have the neck. You don't have the neck. You should have seen my neck before the surf. Thank God. I'm glad that you got here after the surf. Yeah, thank God. I would not have been able to concentrate. Now it's true that you are, you're opening a new spa. Is this in Dubai? No, I am the face of new spas across the Middle East and New York and London. It's for bulldozer group. You know them? Is it sacred? Is that what it's called? Sacra. Yes. So he is, he owns all the, he's the founder of bulldozer group. So they have 220 restaurants. You know them. Everything from Gaia, Chappriani to, he's the founder of the whole thing. But do you realize what you've signed up for? These are high end bathhouses. Oh, I'm, yeah. Premium bathhouses. I'm going to be whipped by what are they called? Banya. With huge steam rooms, saunas. The most luxurious one. And large baths. What have you been doing all week? Literally looking into my life. But you know what? I'm actually. Lot of places to jerk off. And I mean, yes, probably, I don't know what boys do in bathhouses, but I'm in the other side. I'll be in the female side. But you know what? This will be the most luxurious one you've ever seen. These guys are, you know, there's no 220 restaurants that you know of. Right. But we're talking about the bath house. Yes. I imagine you're going to, you'll probably draw in a lot of gays and a lot of swingers. Not in the Middle East, I doubt. But yeah. Never know. Maybe in New York. No, I have bet in the Middle East that actually makes more sense. When does it open? Cause I would like to be there opening day. May 26th and I'm having you blacklisted. May 26th really? Yeah. It's coming up. Yeah. He's in, he's in, they've already opened in London, I think. But it's going to be the chicest day spa ever made. You've never seen anything like it. It's the chicest. I already know. That is the chicest. I'm faster than you James. Annie, did you return the ski clothes you borrowed from Crystal? We haven't yet. But she texted me and she was like, you guys can keep all the stuff except the north face pants. I've seen that one pair of pants. Which is so nice. How do you clean those? Dry cleaning? Yeah, you dry clean. You go to the season. You should dry clean it for her. We will. No, she didn't, you guys didn't even wear them. No, we didn't wear those north face pants. Wait, I don't understand. They went skiing. Yeah. Crystal lent them all of the ski clothes this weekend. Yeah. It was so nice. But they looked so cute on them, so I just said keep them. How did you know how? What do you mean they look so cute? You came in here with a whole load of ski clothes and they asked to borrow it? No, I posted it online. They already went last week. Yeah, I gave them last week. Oh, you posted saying, does anyone have ski clothes? No, we were at a party, we were talking about we're going skiing. She's like, do you have clothes? You can borrow mine. Then I posted it in the outfits. Oh, I see. Yes. And they looked cute around these little girls. And she ate them up. Oh, is it Jenny? Jenny? Jenny? Illinois, line one. Keeley. What is it? Jenny. Hi, Jenny. Shout out, Jen. Shout out, Jenny. Questions for you. Oh. Caroline, I have a question for you. Michael Rathapour was talking to Andy Cohen and said there was a bit of a situation with Derrinda and other traders. Yes. How did that go? What happened? She called me bossy. I called her bossy. I think, you know, Derrinda wanted me to react a certain way to Donna Kelsey and the Swifties and I wasn't playing ball, that's all. You know, very housewives, but it's not being shown. So it's just one little conflict. Oh, yeah. And with housewives, you know, we fight like sisters all the time and then you're over it. I've known Derrinda many, many, many years. Yeah. But for other people, they find it kind of intense. Yeah. Like the way we fight. Oh, okay. You want to go for lunch? Yeah. You just fight. Yeah. So it's been resolved. There's no bad blood. There's nothing. No. Okay, good. Good. I love Derrinda. Yeah. She's so funny. But, you know, I noticed that, you know, I have a nice relationship with her. We've never fought. We never, but, you know, she can be a little prickly sometimes with people. Yeah. And, you know, like we've only ever fought in that situation. We've never fought in any other situation in our lives, to be honest. So, you know, we kind of park it. No. You guys would go up against each other. Who? You and Derrinda would fight. I don't know. Yeah. In a house, you probably would. You would fight. I don't know. I don't know about that. I've known her for years. We really do get along great. I don't know. You'd make up, but you guys would fight. You guys would go. Okay. Maybe that is the case. We would make up right away because I don't want to. I think it's just over time, right? It's like, oh, there we go. That's my bath house. Look at that. Those look gorgeous. Wow. Exactly. No one's going in there for a while. No, I think they are. That looks like a beautiful place to jerk off. Yeah. But anyway, that's my new home away from home. And don't be jealous. That's where I'll be doing all my meetings. Spectacular. Yes, it's spectacular. Well, look at the steam room. They don't do anything by half. What happened to the VIP room? Oh, you get butlers too. They have their own, you have your own butler to serve you when you're in there. And basically, I've got a very tough job of just having to be at all of them. You know who you should hire? Ryan Bailey would be great. Amazing. He has a lot of spa experience. No, they don't need to hire anyone else. This I am the face. But no, no, no, he would work there. Oh, yeah. Like how people would tell a word of. Cassabian's going to work out of there too. Do you have, is it like, is it a monthly membership? Do you have initiation dues? No, days, bars, days, you pay David. Oh, she's paid by the day. Yeah. Okay, that's great. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's great if you're like trying. It's beautiful. It really is beautiful. I mean, it looks expensive. Wait, are there any in LA? Can I tell you how I met the founder of Bulldozer Group? Just, it's so good. Because like all the restaurants that you've ever heard of, they own pretty much. And we didn't meet in a restaurant. We met on in the Himalayas, on the Himalayas. I climbed the Himalayas for 12 days. And the other person on the mountain was him. Wow. Isn't that crazy? You climbed the Himalayas? Yes, unfortunately. By mistake, I was drunk, said yes, and didn't realize I thought I was going to start for a weekend, but that's another story. But I got to the top 5,700 meeting meters, 12 days. And that's who I climbed with. And he was at my wedding. He was at our, when we got Sergio proposed. I'm now the face of his companies. You're very adventurous. Yeah. That's the last thing I'd want to do. We don't do anything. Himalayas. No, I know. You don't really need this. I only want to climb Runyon. I tell you. You would love it. I've actually been to Himalayas, but I took a helicopter. Way easier. That's what I would do. Way easier. Oh, I've done a lot of adventures. I drove across Europe with Paris Hilton. We did a whole week. Except she came without a driving license. So I had to drive. I was the only person that had to drive the whole way by themselves. You were meant to switch. Why did you do this? Charity, that one. The other one. I don't know. But we, we have, I've done some adventurous things. Wait, was that that red car thing? Yes. Yeah. So question. I mean, I'm sure people that are listening know you from Ladies of London. And now there's going to be, it's Ladies of London, the new rain, which I know is going to premiere on Bravo March 5th. Are you making any sort of appearance, appearances? Oddly, I'm about to go back and film another appearance on Housewives of London. So it's a bit confusing because my friends, even the ones that were on Ladies of London are now on Housewives of London. So I, Wait, what network is that? Hey, you, it's very confusing. So we, we don't get that, but that's Housewives in Europe for Europe. Yes. It's very weird. The new ones are much younger. So I don't really know any of this new rain. So no, I haven't been asked to appear on that one, but from what I understood, they, you know, are trying to distance it from all of us old ones. So the Housewives of London is all our friends. Are those were the ladies that were on before? Yeah. One of them, Juliette and Caroline Fleming, who was in it with me, has now moved to the Middle East. So if, if Housewives of Dubai ever come back, we'll have to have her on, won't we? And she's just moved into my community. So, which is annoying. So it's a new show. Housewives. Because you close the windows, she'll come through any of them. Oh, oh, that sounds like shade. I'm very curious because it's gotten a little cold outside. It got cold and then it got warm. You and Rob fight over the thermostat. Yes, all the time. Do you and Sergio fight over the thermostat? All the time. This is a, it is a universal, relatable thing. It doesn't matter how much money you have, how much. We're relatable. Yeah. This is the relatable part of the show. So do you like it cold or hot? I like it cold. I like the windows open. He likes it boiling and he wants me to literally lie on top of him at all times. And I, I literally. You and Rob can live together. We'll sweat to death. It's so disgusting. I love it. Cold is fresh. Clean. It's so, it, I have been fighting all week. Like I'm, I've had it. Even in the coldest nights, I watched my thermostat go down to 60. And I loved it. Yeah. I love it freezing. But this is the weird thing. So last night, this was the first day it started to get like normal weather, right? So last night it's like our house is like 69 70 just naturally. And then he's hot. So he turns on the air and I'm like the cold air. I was like, open the fucking windows. Yeah. Like now yesterday you have the heater on and now you have the air conditioning on. Open the windows. I've opened the fucking windows. That is the thing. Why does no one want fresh? I know. It's horrible. It's, it's so mad. I grew up in the English countryside. You have fresh air. Yeah. You breathe it in, breathe it through your nose. It's amazing. No, does he just get up and switch the thermostat and you get angry? Or does he know better now? No, he does it when I'm asleep. He waits and does it stealth. Yeah. And then I wake up in the middle of the night, literally in a pile of my own sweat with my hair that I've just had done like glued to my head and I know he's done it. I know it. And then so I will literally kick him in the balls and say, get up. No, Rob, will Rob sneak and turn on the heater when you're asleep? Yes. And so will my son. They all do it. And then I wake up and I just shut it all off and then I open all the windows and I get, I mean, I don't understand. It makes no sense. I think you have to send a very big message. Set bedrooms. No. I'd rip that thermostat out of the wall. I don't, I have, there's a lot of them. I'd rip them all out of the wall. It's only controlled. And to say every time you fuck with the heater, I'm going to rip the thermostat out of the wall. Rob. And here's the $900 bill to replace. I'm really there. It's really a problem. I can't stand it. It's disgusting. It's every marriage. It's, it's, you know, it's not even just a marriage. Universal. My employees do it. Oh, that's annoying. That's fucking annoying. Wow. And I told him, and I've, I even said something to Roar. I said, if I ever catch you touching that thermostat again, you will be fired on the spot. She doesn't give a shit and she knows I'm lying. But I'm like, you, and then she's like, looks at me and kind of smirks at me. I go, you'll be suspended without pay then. You know what? Who does it? It's like when I have house sitters, when I'm out of town and I get home and I'm like, the way all the whole house system is running all, it's all on. I'm like, this whole two weeks. Yeah. I've been spending so much money on these. Yeah. Now let me ask you this cause you both have staff. I have, so I've been in the same house for four years. The parking restrictions have not changed. It's very clear. You can't park on the, I think it's the south side of the street on Mondays and you can't park on the, on the north side of the street on Tuesdays. So my housekeeper, for whatever reason, forgets, screws up, gets a ticket. I said, I've already paid three of your tickets. We've been here for four years. Nothing has changed. You should know the rules. I'm not paying it cause I already paid the other ones. So then she told me today, I forgot to pay it and it doubled. And now it's $140. I'm like, oh, don't do it, Jeff. Don't do it. And I just was like, I was quiet. Would you pay it? Yeah. But grudgingly. I would pay it. But grudgingly. She's never going to learn. No, but she does need to learn. She does, but what's going to happen? But it's a lot of money. It's a lot of money and then what's going to happen? Well, she leaves you. Then you're going to be like, was it worth it? Oh, she's not going to leave. Where's she going to go? She has no skill. It's a lot of money. I know. It's tough. Just do it the once and say this is not. It's a four time. Caroline, four time. Just do the four time. And now it doubled because she's so irresponsible. She didn't pay it. You don't have permits. We do. She had a permit, but she was on the street. It was street cleaning. So she was on the wrong side of the street. She thought she was good because she had the permit. No, it's street cleaning. It's so annoying. It's so annoying. It's irritating, but it's life on foot. Yeah. It's just part of the salary. I know. I know it's a bad answer, but. I'm going to have to pay it. The double is really annoying. Cause I pay so fast. Like I hate stuff like that. I hate interest. It's just a waste of money. Waste of money. Literally. It's all waste of money. Well, my daughter went to the airport. She bought all this creams and stuff from Target from, you know, on my credit card yesterday. Went straight to the airport and they took it out of a bag. Went straight in the bin. No. All of it. And then she said, can you go buy me more? And I'm like, oh my God, that's a waste. All right, I'll pay it. Thanks for listening. If you want more of this, listen to Jeff Lewis live every weekday on serious XM as well as the Jeff Lewis channel, exclusively on the serious XM app. Five bold fruit flavors in every pack. Lemon, orange, lime, strawberry and black currant. They're chewy. They're colorful. They're perfect. Just like my wife. So thank you for coming and remember to buy Skittles. A Ford Explorer. Test drive one before the end of May and you could win one. 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