Nick Had To Sign an NDA For A Pinball Factory | The Yak 2-12-26

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I'm all right. Jackie's still here? Mm-hmm. How's that going? What did you say? You should be feeling good. I'm feeling great. You're right. You're right. You're right. Have you guys had an argument yet? No. When do you think you'll have your first? Probably like Valentine's Day. I had him on the ropes Monday. They were close. Really? Yeah. This guy was goading, man. Goading. The whole time you were like, I don't know. It was a setup, essentially, but no spoilers. I did a Let Me Show You Chicago video with him and Jackie. Yeah. Valentine's Day date. Yep. Took him to the top floor of the Sears Tower. Sure. Yeah. Got a heart-shaped deep dish pizza. Oh, that's beautiful. It was a nice day. Wow. What a great date you gave. It is a good date. Did you guys kiss? That's going. With all three of us. Giving you an incredible trip to Top of Sears Town? Oh, yeah. Were you with Lance as well? Yep. Four of us. Lance was there. That's romantic. It was. Are you going to try to get away with that being your actual Valentine's date? We went out the night after, but yeah, ideally that'd be great. Yeah. But then I would have to give credit to Eddie, which I'd rather not do. Y'all all doing Valentine's dates? Yeah. I got a resume. You got it. It's worse than ever, boys. What happened? It's just worse. It's getting worse. Ebs and flows, huh? Yesterday, I thought we were through it. Yeah. I didn't think it was bad at all yesterday. Yeah, it was good yesterday. Today is... When's your appointment? I got a schedule one. Yeah, you did. Kyle. I'm convincing myself that it's just a separate issue that is so coincidentally happened right after my. That would be the greatest coincidence in the history of coincidence. Now you got to watch Magnolia. I got a fucking 2.30 p.m. reservation. What? Did you wait too long? At Restoration Hardware. Wait, you had your birthday at Ralph Lauren and then. I'm like doing retail swapping. I thought our day was romantic. I waited too long. I'm doing a river cruise. You sounded like an old black blues man when you said, I waited too long. I waited too long. This new voice might give you some different intonations and give you some different skills. Yeah, I would like some positive feedback because it is annoying people, I've heard. I think it's fine. That's my positive feedback. I think it's fine. Thank you. Kate, does Pat have anything lined up for Valentine's Day? God, no. It's probably not on his radar. He probably has no idea. It's probably going to be a surprise. Yeah. See, I feel like the boys are kind of off the hook for the old San Francisco last week. So generally when... Oh, yeah. Are you crazy? I would have thought I was telling Darryl. That was a week ago. No, when I take my wife to the Super Bowl, we always have one really, really big dinner at the super bowl and that covers valentine's day well you've been together for a while i forgot to tell her that this year also this is yeah this is a big year this is 20th 20th year anniversary i think every mother's day valentine's day everything is amped up this year because it's also the 20th year so i got a lot of pressure on me oh yeah what's the 20th year uh thing like wood paper that's i don't know um gold is 50 right and then i i don't know what 20 is i bet something. Head. Could be head. That'd be cool. 20 is... In my experience, anything after 12 did not involve head, so... I haven't done anything for 20 years. Alright. Really? 20 years, platinum. Oh, platinum. Traditional gift is China, and modern gift is platinum. Platinum sounds nice. What all have I missed? 10 years, I didn't have any money. I definitely didn't get any tin or aluminum or diamond jewelry. Wow, that really amps up quick, doesn't it? Yeah. Go from wool, copper, bronze, and all of a sudden you're- Tin, aluminum? What kind of wool, copper? I guess you get a sweater. Sweater. I didn't know this was a thing. Coral. Really, Eddie? No. Oh, no. You're a classy guy. Yeah, but fruit, flowers, goes after leather? What's the bitch going to do with platinum at 70th anniversary? Leather's when you start getting weird with it. Yeah. 9th anniversary. Things are getting stale. Yeah. That could just be a- Nice harness. A wallet. One of those neckties that has the big metal ring right here. That's where you guys go with leather? Leather can be anything. A flock. One of those paddles. You can just wear leather. Strap down, like a basement strap. Nice collar. Swing? They even make those out of leather? What kind of swing do you got? What kind of prude are you? Yeah, it's easier to clean up. Did y'all ever, did y'all, this is a, it's only a yak question, and it's not weird in the sense that we're on the yak, but did y'all ever go to that sex hotel? No, I haven't gone yet. We got y'all. We got to go. You got me the t-shirt. I did get you a t-shirt. You got me a t-shirt. Oh, with the slide? With the slide. I know, we still haven't gone yet. I have a gift card for it, right? Yeah. Make sure that thing doesn't expire. You're going to a sexist? It might be long gone. You don't know about this, Ed? No. The Sybaris? It's a local chain. Oh, Ed's been. Ed's cannibal. All right. Have you been? No, but someone I know was conceived there. Who? Who's the Sybaris baby? You've told this before. I can't say it. Are they a good swimmer? That means we know them. Apparently. They're a pretty good swimmer. Yeah, I would say. I would say accurate. Yeah, because it's pretty much just a pool. They work here? 20 years ago. No, they don't work here. They don't work here. Oh, then yeah, say their name. There should be like a Siviris baby reunion every year in Chicago. There's got to be plenty. There's got to be a ton of them. I bet you can tell if they are. Who's a Siviris baby? They have a certain walk? They're all pruned. You could definitely. Kate went to the freaking, what's it called? in florida the blowjob party yeah yeah rude what'd you see her there detailed it that was like her and pat's first date yeah first year's blowjob parties yep i don't think like last week could count for valentine's unless you prefaced it before the dinner like hey this is going to be our valentine's i have before i didn't i did not preface does that even work i really wish eddie would have told me that when you're married how far in advance can be like this is valentine's day by the way what i think a week stretching it a week would be or further than a week would be crazy but that's a big for a mother of four children to be able to go to new orleans or vegas or la or san francisco for a week and then you say yeah this is going to be our valentine's that that checks out absolutely yeah that that can but i didn't preface it this year so i did go ahead and make a reservation tomorrow night um what's the most romantic thing you've I can't picture you as like a putting rose Petal pathway on the floor kind of guy Six piece You know I've done stuff like that Is that romantic Or is that just cringe It's cringe If you know he's only Doing it because everybody else Is doing it It's hard to explain You think you just thought of it independently I don't know I don't know I think like flowers when it's not Valentine's in the middle of whatever month just randomly being like I appreciate you. I actually think that's romantic. I think that's nice. But they're like an impulse purchase at Whole Foods. Like the flowers are right there at the door. Is that still romantic? If he's like I saw these and you know what? I thought of you. The house is like I thought you would like these. Our house fucking reeks. I remember this. I was like cat turds. Do you buy flowers every time you go to Whole Foods? Is that you? It's grocery store every week. Yeah. every time you go to the grocery store you buy your wife flowers I have flowers at my house at all times aren't you watering it down Che isn't that like now they're not special anymore well usually it's like one of my responsibilities is like the grocery shop so I'll take the kids and then I'll let the kids pick like they alternate who gets to pick for mom and yeah that's cute I like that it's also like way cheaper than you think it's like $10 yeah flowers are bought for Jackie are like 30 bucks And that's how Che gets to eat that pussy anytime he wants. Then if you miss a week of flowers, it's like, well, are we fighting? Yeah, true. Che, do you like being the grocery store goer? Because I fucking love being a grocery store goer. Great chore. Yeah, it's a phenomenal chore. What's your favorite aisle? I don't know that I have a favorite aisle. Everybody's favorite should be cereal. I just, I just, you just veg out and you're just like, it's not a vacation, but it's like, this isn't normal life right now. I'm just at the grocery store. I can't explain what I feel, but it's just a great two hours to check out of the rest of the world. Especially if your grocery store has a coffee shop too. So you get a coffee when you go in. Mine's been kicking it up with the freebies lately. Oh yeah? Every other aisle, some kind of snack. That's nice. Yeah. Do you guys listen to, or like have headphones in when you're grocery shopping? No, I don't. Uh-uh. I can't. I have done it. I don't regularly. May I say something? On a plane, yes. If I'm at home working out or doing something, yes. If I'm doing a task that involves walking around other people, I can't do headphones. Me neither. I can't. I feel too unaware. I feel too unaware and too checked out of everything. I can't be in a mall. I can't be anywhere. I can't do headphones. It takes me so out of the moment. I envy people who can. People driving wearing them scares me. You always see that. It should be illegal. I think it is illegal. I keep working all the time. Kyle, you worked in the grocery industry for a long while. Do you like grocery stores? Love them. I think they're up there with a nice bar for environment. What department are you in? A shitty grocery store? No. It's depressing. But a big, nice one? Kyle, I find the back warehouse back room back offices of a grocery store to be the most depressing places on earth though oh yeah the the offices you have to go into oh the employees are they're miserable yeah as soon as you oh yeah your mom how many years oh i forgot about that she's 53 this year 54 golly whatever it was just going yeah i used to work there too what is what department are you in I bagged the groceries. Got it. And then I actually loaded the cars and got tips, so that was nice. How long did you do that? Two years. I did that. Yeah. I was in the fruit department. It's actually kind of solid. Yeah, you were. Okay, so that was, you would, I assume they would bring it on the truck, they'd put it in a refrigerator spot in the back, and then you would just transport it up to the front. And you'd just drag a cart and you'd just keep. So that's a good job in a grocery store because you're laser focused. You don't have to worry about anything else. You probably weren't wearing stuff that made it look like you worked there, right? No, I still wear like the polo and stuff. But they say it's one of the better departments and it closes earlier. So that's a plus. Oh, I bet those. What's the best job in a grocery store and the worst? Because the bakery people. Vegetables. You get that mist every once in a while. It cools you down. Vegetables is good. But bakery people are pissed. butchers are happy i i see i would have flipped that i would flip that i just said that i think i've talked to them i think the meat cutters are not happy and the bakers are happy maybe they're always giving my kids cookies and like having fun with yeah i don't know i think flower shop is happy generally they'd have to be yeah but like the stock boys have the most freedom they don't have to be dialed in like the same way yeah like They're always rascals. Yeah, but that's just such a monotonous kind of soul-sucking thing to do. Oh, stocking is bad. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I feel like dairy is probably the worst. It always smells a little in there. Yeah. Like when you open the thing in the back room of the dairy. I've had multiple jobs around grocery stores. In 2004, I worked for a company that stocked the magazine shelves. and I would have to drive a truck around to every grocery store in the Golden Triangle area and stock their magazine shelves. Did you get to read them? That got old fast. Were they the National Enquirer? All of them. I used to love that, reading that while I was pooping. Every magazine in a grocery store is stocked by the same company. I had no idea. Why didn't you just start a business? Why didn't you just create a product and start a business? I guess I should have. I didn't think about that at the time. Yeah. What was the big scandal out of Mississippi? They had their own version of Enron, didn't they? Didn't Mississippi have a huge... Is that Brett Favre? No. You thinking back in the day? Yeah. We had a big tobacco settlement, I think. One of the big... You guys had like a fake company scam. Oh, that I don't know. That one's not coming to my mind. Okay. But one of the big lawsuits that broke the tobacco industry was in Mississippi. That's the only thing. And now we have Brett Favre and Ted DiBiase's son scamming the welfare. Yeah. Which I think Brett Favre's probably free and clear of that now. I think he's good. But DiBiase's kid isn't. Brett Favre has Parkinson's, right? He does. He does have Parkinson's. Damn. DiBiase Jr. was involved in that? Yeah. Oh, shit. I think he's going down for it. Really? Yeah. How'd Brett Favre get out of it? I don't know. I think. Was this the same thing for the volleyball? Yeah, I think Favre, and I'm talking out of school here, I think his defense was basically, yeah, I didn't know where that money was coming from. I just accepted a gift that I thought was, I believe that was, and I think he's okay. But DiBiase Jr. was deeply involved, which is kind of on the nose. The million-dollar man's son. Deeply involved. Yeah. He's guilty. What will Brett Favre be best known for, like, a moment? Obviously, he was a quarterback, but, like. Of winning the Super Bowl? Yeah, it would have to be Super Bowl. It would be that. Maybe. Dick pick, Mississippi scandal. I think it's still winning the Super Bowl. I don't think the welfare scandal hit him as hard as. Like, the dick pick hit him harder than that. Yeah. I think the welfare scandal kind of bounced off of him a little bit. I think he'll. there's something about Mary. Oh, yeah. That was big. Tiger Woods had some crazy stuff, but I'll always think of him with golf. His is closer, I think. Right? Hey, what the fuck? Come here. Hey. Come sit down. Francis. Oh, we needed this bad. You're right. Francis, good to see you. Talking about financial scandals. I just fist bumped you. Hello? Francis? Francis, what's your favorite part of a grocery store? Jump right back in. Che must have had one. What are you doing here? You have a show? Shooting with Dana. Oh, nice. We had, um... You taking over the Yugg Station? The what? The Yugg Station? You know about the Yugg Station? What's that? Oh, wow. Oh, wow. Well, you'll probably end up doing it today. That's Dana's beer drinking station that we, uh, that he does his podcast from. Also on audio. Oh, cool. I like that. You didn't think that was cool at all? I didn't really see it, to be honest with you. It went away so quickly. So what's this? To the left is the main thing. So what happened was Dana said, Big Cat, can you get me a Yug Station? Dan spent $15,000. You just can't say Yug Station. Francis will know exactly what that is. It's a gas pump that puts out beer. Oh, that's fun. That's useful. What is this group moving for? Yeah, what's this for? I'm probably doing St. Patrick's Day merch. What's the trashiest thing that you love, party-wise? Beer bong. Yeah, I mean, I like a beer bong. Yeah? Back in the day, certainly. What other options are there? Cheese whiz? You ever spray cheese scan spray? Oh, what did you say? Painting. I can't talk. I know, I feel horrible. I'll pick my spots. You okay? You're painful? The floor is yours. No, I don't. I need you. You have no idea, Francis. I'm fucked. How are you guys? It's nice to see you all. Francis has never been like, well, I'm going to go get muddy in the rain. When's the last time you were muddy? Well, it's been pretty muddy in New York. No, that's not. That's not the muddy he's talking about. Dive in the mud on a rainy day in college. God damn it, that's fun. We were in a city again. Same kind of, we didn't really do that too much. I love running and diving in the rain. Really, still? Yeah, my yard in Mississippi had a puddle that would always. Just like permanent puddle? It would stand water, yeah, right after a good rain. Just run and you slide, you go for 30 yards. That attract mosquitoes? Oh, yeah, it's a big mosquito place. Dangerous. You're right. But right after a rain, mosquitoes aren't, they're not, you just run and slide. We should run and slide together, Francis. I'd like that. That'd be fun. That'd be nice. I'll do anything with you, Brandon. I don't care. We've never done anything at all. I should go to the last hut. We've done more than you're letting on. Francis. We've done more than you're letting on. You and I have never, outside of the confines of barstool work, have you and I ever done anything. We've hung out in a green room at a comedy club. I came to your show. There you go. That's a thing. That's me coming to you. I came to your show. I'll come anywhere you want me to come. And it was delightful. It was a wonderful show. I will do, I will come, I will cross the desert for you. I try to be part of your life. No, you don't. Yeah, I certainly do. You're fronting right now. You don't try to be part of my life. I text you and you say, who is this, every single time. I don't put numbers in my phone. Oh, okay. Why do you do that? I don't know. It only hurts you and it only makes you seem like a bigger asshole. I'm not a big asshole. I don't know. When's the last time you texted me? I don't know. I bet it was more than six months ago. That's probably true. You want to go fishing? Yes. That's your activity with SAS, though. No, no. He doesn't let me come with it. All right. All right. Do you like to fly fish at all? I'm more of a bass fisherman. that's cool yeah big bass ideally yeah yeah those are the best yeah you guys are really hitting it off we've never we've never you got to find common ground we never quite got there it's like big bad i've always wanted to i want to as well but we haven't gotten there but i always then i always say that i'm a huge fan and you think i'm like lying or something i do and i think you're lying i'm not why what do you mean no i got nothing i came to your comedy show in philly uh when i was there for Wrestlemania and I was like I was blown away how fucking funny you are. That's so nice. Yeah. I'm in Batavia all weekend but it's totally sold out. Oh. Oh. That's terrible. Totally. Well actually that's good. 16 in a row. Dangerous. Whatever. 16 in a row? Yeah. Congrats Francis. Oh yeah. Things are going great. Yeah? If you discount that book that's in the middle of a bond fund. The almost published man. You didn't find out on the Yak did you? Can I ask you a question about that? You spent months writing it, right? Hundreds of hours. Hundreds of hours. That's crazy. Was there not a process where you're submitting stuff and then he's reading? Everyone's wondering that. So here's what happened. At the beginning of the book, I asked Dave, do you want me writing this in the language in which you blog? And he said, no, people would get tired of reading that over 300 pages. So then I tried to find this sort of like hybrid. People think it was like this stuffy, sophisticated, ridiculous, like lyrical thing. Well, did you hear the example he said? The one thing that turned him off was you said like something about a watermelon. Yeah. So the sentence there was like it was it was I said this, too, but it was like a meant to it was just imagery. They were eating at Budokan. It's a Chinese themed like loungy, clubby restaurant where they're out of place. Yes. To highlight that, I thought it'd be funny if this group of guys and, you know, courting Erica to take the job was like they and by the time that nobody was speaking to each other by the time the second round of lychee martinis came. That's funny. The joke. Yes, I think a lot of people would love to read your version. If you could, would he entertain you putting it on a paywall or something? I don't think so. I don't think so. But his is I'm not kidding you. I've been impressed. Yeah. What he's doing is good, is great, and there are stories, as I've said, that I've never heard before, which might not have come to light had it just been what I wrote. But you're still assisting with this one? I'm just kind of walking behind him. Do you know in WALL-E, when WALL-E gets onto the mothership? I haven't seen WALL-E. And he's dirty, and then there's that one robot that falls behind him? Yeah, yeah. That's what I'm doing. Okay. it's a big job to finish your question brandon though uh i think what happened is that um initially the the editor uh i was sending the editor all the chapters in real time and then she was sort of like doing a quick once over and then she would provide feedback to both dave and me in an email saying like this looks great this is good maybe a little bit more of this but like overall great we're in a great place and i think he probably was therefore made to feel like everything was going really well okay and that he didn't necessarily need to take a bigger look and i think that the editor assumed that he was probably more involved than he was so there was this lost communication through which i was like this assumed solution when i mean that's i think that's how we got all the way to the end without without either side really realizing that um is there wasn't much oversight is there anything you could take out of this experience that you're like i'm glad i is there anything positive from this experience well i mean i'd never known if i could write a whole book yeah i did that was cool oh you were done like yeah second draft can i say something i'm sorry the people behind the book liked it so much that they told me if my stand-up career ever ends there's a job waiting for me wow oh yeah so that's something well it's a far cry from i hated it i couldn't make it through a single page um oh yeah because that's what you okay yeah your average that out is pretty good yeah the average is pretty good i bet you it's spectacular and people will read it kyle maybe you should start writing bud i tried to push kyle back into blogging not maybe like a year ago maybe a little before that did and you said that you were thinking about it you thought it would be a good idea but i get it man thankless endeavor yeah i mean i do write so much i just yeah you say what you write I say what I write. It's easier and harder to write for the spoken word. I think we'd all like to write more, right? It takes a lot of time. You always say you're going to get back into it. You just want to make lists. Yeah, yeah. I miss writing. I was a speech writer before I came here. Get out. Or Coca-Cola. Or a Fortune 500 company in Atlanta. Cool. Which makes me sympathize with you because writing, even attempting to write in somebody else's voice is demanding. I just didn't think that that was really necessary. I didn't really know. I don't know. I thought that wasn't exactly. There's a big difference between language, voice, and tone. And I think that all that got mixed up. How about the money? oh i didn't i didn't there's no money okay okay that kind of stinks yeah well i mean i didn't i didn't want i didn't want it to do it in good faith you know guess you're gonna have to win the golf tournament again yeah yeah for the process of writing it were you did you spend a ton of time with dave leading up to it or something or how i met with him on zoom like every week and a half every two weeks okay you put in so you feel closer to dave you guys besides well i don't know i don't know how he feels about me but uh i i did i did i thought it was a really cool like privileged position yeah in his world yeah uh and you know to get to hear i got to interview renee and some you know people that i'd never met or spoken to and so you hear from you know total what was cool was like for me the coolest stuff was from like 2003 to 2010 you know that whole world from when he was like our age yeah and just grinding his ass off like do you know that um i didn't know this but like you know everyone knows that he the the homeless people handed out the newspapers and just were terrible and then he hired the models and it was through them that he met renee and then he couldn't afford the models anymore and so then for like years he was the only person handing out the newspaper in the subways oh i didn't know that it was literally no so a company of one i didn't know that just fucking yeah that era i would love to know more about running around like yeah well no i mean well imagine running an ultra marathon on on your own not in a competitive event you would still feel very accomplished afterwards is this right the book you're talking about i'm trying to do a metaphor yeah yeah i had look i had look here the thing uh there were there was a scene where his car got impounded his his Astrovan and he had to go down to the impound lot That was everything he told me Then I wrote a scene where it's him talking to the guy at the impound lot. Yeah. But he's like, well, that never happened. It didn't happen that way. I'm like, well, I understand. But he gave you two sentences? There's dialogue. I have dialogue. I've imagined an exchange that isn't like, what's your astronomical sign or whatever the fuck? You have to add filler for effect. Yeah, just to be a little colorful, like to lend itself to a movie probably. Could you do what if on Son of a Boy Dad or in your own separate series, like did kind of like an audio read? I have no idea. An explanation. I worry that that would step on the book. Maybe after it comes out. Or maybe. You know, I'm not trying to, like, compete with what he's got. That's fair. If you could write a book about anything you wanted to, what would you do? Yeah, that's a good question. I would do, I think I want to do, I would do a book about like the trials and tribulations of young men in the world today. And almost like a survival guide for just like dealing with divorce or depression or, you know, a lot of the stuff that people ask me for, DM me about. and they're like, hey, man, I appreciate that you've been open about some of these things. Like, I'm going through a tough time. What do I do? And I always send pretty detailed things of like, you got to get in the gym. You got to get outside. You got to pat a dog. You got to pick up a hobby. Just start taking back control of your life and defining yourself away from the incident or whatever or the person who left you or all these horrible things. and it'll take time but soon you'll feel like you have control again and i think expanding upon that um as like a light-hearted but also serious guide for young men who are struggling would be something that i would be i would do i would invest yeah yeah i'd invest the duo i'd like to see on that one people like i want to see dave's version i want to see francis i'd like to see your version of that and versus dana's version of that yeah you got to go to the yug station you gotta drink a zillion beers yeah you gotta try lobster for the first time try try lobster that's crazy that's great i hope you i hope you pursue it somebody asked me somebody in the new york office and i'm embarrassed that i can't remember who it was but said i should do the sort of counterpart to what dana's doing because there are a lot of his like really shitty things in his life that i've never tried we had a sommelier on the show and he did he we brought up swedish fish and he thought we met fish from the swedish well that's the arctic that's just a strange like a blind spot because that's not that is there's not something he isn't that what you're talking about yeah i think that i would have assumed that most of the things that dana's trying for the first time are like upscale things like lobster right um which also It's so weird because he grew up on the south shore of Massachusetts. There were lobsters walking down the street. Yeah, exactly. Dana. Mark has questioned the legitimacy. That's funny. Dana will get mad. He gets really mad. He does? I've never had a fucking plum. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So that's weird. I don't know. Well, Mark's theory is that Dana is doing the thing like you get in front of a group of people and say oh i've never made out with a girl and then a girl wants to make out with you or something like that dana's just saying i've never done these awesome things and now people are giving him these awesome things i've never had a tomahawk steak it's so random then if that's what he's doing it's not i think i believe him i don't think it's in his bag to lie about this i mean either i trust him i do too i also think he's forgetful though yeah there are probably things that he has tried in passing that he's just forgotten about i've been hammered yeah he's For as much as he gets drunk and never having a Big Mac. I'll just say it. We do have somebody in the New York office who's like standing up and saying, Dana's tried all this stuff. Oh. Who? Somebody that lived with him. Yes. He's the one who told me. I'm not going to say his name. Fran? No. I'm not going to say. I'll say his initials. They're Marty Mush. Yeah. Damn. That's a tough. He didn't say all though. He didn't say all though. We told Dana we don't give a shit. Yeah. We need to own that. We don't. Act like you've tried it. We're really nice. We're like, dude, we're not watching him anyway. We don't give a fuck. That'd be sad if that were the revelation. There's no way he's lying. But again, I don't even care. He's too pure. But like, okay, I've legitimately never had Taco Bell. I've never had a bite of Taco Bell. I got it, Francis. Let's go down south and have you try some down south fucking shit. Oh, cool. That's fun. You ever had chitlins? No. Good. Are those pig feet? No, intestines, buddy. Oh. Oh, you don't want to? Well, no, I'll do anything with you. I said I would do anything with you. I never have either. Big fan. You did say you'd do anything with me. I'd do anything. I toured a pinball facility yesterday, and I was hoping to have some anecdotes and stories, but I signed an NDA. NDA? Yeah. What are they hiding? I wish I could tell you. They invited you, and then were like, don't talk about it. E-Spider and Liam went up there, and I can't say shit. I went up there because I'm trying to have more experiences Can you tell us what was in there? I can't say shit What are they trying to hide? I can't tell you but I know How exclusive is this? The pinball forums have been going crazy about this I have a pinball question I'm sorry I shouldn't have cut you off I wasn't saying anything What if you had refused the NDA? What if you said no I'm not signing that The NDA was at the door Wasn't the NDA only about the new machine? Yeah that's what I was talking about The other stuff. No, because we went back and they, like, the wiring. They had the wire. Oh, just too much. Too much. Because me and Danny went there, what, three years ago? They have a new facility. Okay, so maybe the new one. Is it a factory or a museum? It's a factory. Stone Cold factory. Is this where pinball started? It is the Ferrari of pinball. Wow. Yeah, you got to be careful or you're going to have the National Basketball Association after you. I think so. What? The NDA. Oh, you're right. you're right is that what that is that's what that stands for a lot of people think it's not that non-disclosure agreement wrong it's basketball basketball yeah i always forget that the only thing we could photograph and put out us in front of the big pinball in the front and that's it you like that one brandon starting to side with dave you wish you wish so you guys did it just for not for kind of but like just we didn't bring cameras up i wanted to go see it because i'm trying to i do this every day and so it's like i'm i've run out of things to talk about about a year ago you can pinpoint when it happened can pinball it you can pinball it buddy he's on fire shut the fuck up i have no will to live they let us film there that's why i'm like yeah we did a whole vlog so there's there's a new a new drop coming out next month wow but you can't talk about that they dropped the teaser but yeah i have a question about pinball by all means is it not the case that just arbitrarily you will lose even the best players i think they've changed the older machines are harder because it was more about getting quarters but now it's about uh progress there's story modes so there's a qr code and so if you play on this machine you scan the qr code and you see that machine elsewhere you could pick up where you left off oh what well hold on the guy was standing behind us telling us everyone has like a like a mainline story some are non-linear so to that end it it you're saying it is the case that like the ball will just hit at an angle and go between the bumpers in a way that nobody even the best players could stop so that's that's when you tilt the machine oh yeah what yeah if you're not tilting you're not trying is what they tell me come on dude that's bullshit no man tilting the machine every heavy machine everybody's all the pros tilt but there's a level on the inside, like the tube with the bubble, and if it goes too far, the machine got it. That's why it says tilt on it? Yeah. Oh, my God. I never knew that. I didn't know that either. Nobody knew that. It was a cool experience, yes. So you're allowed to tilt it a little bit legally, but not too much. Yeah. And what is this? This is what they dropped, and then they invited us up. That's where we went. A Pokemon? David Stern. I told you, David Stern is behind it. It is Stern pinball, which makes your turn. You didn't go for pinball. You went because they're doing something with Pokemon. But I did the whole tour, and I was all in on pinball, the way these guys talk about it. When you're around somebody who's super passionate about something, it's sexy. They employ 500 people. It's the biggest facility. Oh, shoot. You sure are talking about this place a lot. Yeah, but I'm talking about things. How many pinball machines? Like more than 10. In there? Oh, yeah. Oh, my God, yeah. A ton. Thousands. Thousands. Like the craftsmanship on these things are incredible. They have the licensing to some of the most insane properties as well. They have... I know, Stranger Things. Supreme. They released a Supreme machine for 50K. Wow. I believe that. We have in our lobby what we have Star Wars. That's from them. We're renting it from them. Everybody wants to license through pinball, though, right? Isn't that such a fun sort of Americana thing? I think so. I think it's up there. It should be in the Olympics. You think they'll make us a Yak pinball machine? I don't know. Man, I don't know if it's... I don't know if we can afford it. not our money dan's money oh yeah maybe this is shit but the got the owner challenged dave uh one-on-one but the owner was going to play with one hand for a custom machine or something like that but he was like there's no chance i lose i believe yeah we've had that man in our office right yes almost positive they were on the show yeah they were they popped in for a little bit right yes or so do you like a miss peaches uh themed one bumpers could be painted as the hands of her former owner which would be what you good i'm sorry i don't know i don't know who neither of us no no i know you're not good okay what happened you're good yeah just really a barstool pinball machine would be cool yeah all right let's talk about lucy lucy's the obvious choice for the true nicotine pouch connoisseurs that's why they're the official nicotine pouch partner of barstool sports lucy pouches go up to 12 milligrams in strength and have a unique shape that feels great lucy breakers are the only pouches with a hydration capsule inside tasty They're a totally new kind of pouch only available from Lucy. 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My cousin's a candle maker. But it doesn't seem like he is. Shady Lake Candles. Well, he's not the most driven man in the world, and I think my money's going to get him off his ass. How many candles has he made in his life? I'm going to say 2,000 maybe 10,000 his entire his house is nothing but candle making stuff and it smells like candles it's nothing but candles we haven't gone all in yet we got to get the candle making thing off the ground he wants to buy a place that he can house so he can get it out of his house I don't know somehow it's somehow his house is like the most romantic place on earth and also the scariest a lot of flames and wax Timmy White's in the hospital Timmy White's in the hospital oh the guy we called yeah the guy I called is he alright he's been got some gastric shit he might have a GoFundMe soon I don't know I gotta figure him out Share it. I got to figure it out. A sharing is worse more than a donation. Yeah, yeah. Oh, my. I just like them. Yeah, I'll fave. I'll fave your GoFundMe. I shared a GoFundMe from a girl that had cancer in my hometown about two months ago, right at Christmas. And then I went on about my business and did a college football tweet or something. And a guy DMed me and said, if I knew you were going to say that about my team, I never would have donated to that girl with cancer. Damn. All right. What'd you say about his team? They were going to lose or something? Something like that? You shouldn't have said that about his team, though. Have you had a colonoscopy? No, I have not. Not professionally. I'm supposed to, but Chase had like... Is everyone thinking about it? I've been thinking about colonoscopy. After Vanderbilt. Even before him, though. I just ordered... I think people our age aren't having enough fiber. I just ordered a bunch of fiber capsules. If you're under 40, you've got to get a doctor's note to do it. Yeah, but now they're saying people are getting this in their 30s. Right. They've got to move it back. It's got me nervous. Up again. Kind of fun, if I'm being honest. God damn it. I've had two. You've had two? No, it's not fun. The action or the... No, you've had two, man? You've got to drink the solution that they before, and you just... Shit. Non-stop. It's fun? Unlike a lot of experiences. We should get one. We should get somebody in the office to do them. My parents did like... It just happened to be Valentine's week. but they went together for colonoscopies and had my neighbor John drive them. That's beautiful. It's romantic. Keep your buttholes safe as a squad. Probably the implication afterwards. What's the implication afterwards? Loosen her up. She's all cleaned out. Do they clean you out? Yeah. You shit like a this is as clean as it's ever going to be. or it just like feels like machinery oh maybe i'll get one what why would you say that after we're just talking about that just to feel clean and good like you know just a fresh system start it's like after you have the flu and you can't wait to have that first meal again when you're finally feeling better it's like just to feel that feeling you know not for hassle reasons i heard an uh an interesting story from kate this morning on kate and friends that i would like to get the bottom to yeah so we'll spare the details but it was uh kate's time of the month while che was getting his hair done at the salon and then kate was like asking the the salon owners like does anyone here have like a tampon and che was the first to speak up and he had three on him that's a hero thought you had right two two but like you weren't even carrying a backpack you just had these in your pockets i thought i did he thought he did oh he didn't have them i didn't have them so i went to a very fancy restaurant a michelin star restaurant i went in the bathroom and there were some things i didn't know what they were but i was like yeah let me just put a couple in the pocket see what they are i went in the wrong bathroom no it was unisex bathroom it was like a single unisex bathroom and I asked my wife when we got outside the restaurant I was like what are these things and it was not like a it looked like half of a crayon this looks fancy it might have been a mint I don't know it's wrapped up very nicely what a fucking idiot crayon can't tell the difference between a crayon and a tampon We talked about this on Anus, but there was a lot of championing of women going on that week because we were all at dinner. Yeah. And we were like all fucking around because there was like a lot of like A.J. Brown was at the restaurant. Gruden and like his crew. There was a lot of known people and notable people at the restaurant. And Kyle's fiance to fuck with Kyle's like, oh, my God, I think that's Obama. And Kyle just goes, Michelle. every time someone's like oh i think obama was at east bank i'm like i didn't see her but then she was like no barack oh no she said no and you said well who else could it be beautiful thank you what was that does that mean something right it's gotta like it's the italian phrase yeah it wasn't appropriate probably maybe i don't know Yeah. Take that one out of the notes. Sweetness of doing nothing. Yeah. Nailed it. That's what you guys need more of. Doing nothing? Or just that feeling? Francis. Sorry? I don't like doing nothing. That drives me crazy. I love it. I have to do something. I get really antsy. You're doing something all the time? Well, I try to do nothing. I tell myself I need a break. and then doesn't take long for that to become. But you're doing nothing that is like relaxing in New Zealand. That's the biggest something. Golfing on the weekend or something, that's like doing nothing. Okay, that's nothing? No, right. That's nothing. I like doing that. But I love doing it. What I'm saying is I don't like doing everything, but I make a tea time for Sunday at 1 o'clock and I just go, that's a very productive nothing. That's very much something. we're in a crisis of people laying in their bed all day on their phone that's nothing yeah that's what I'm saying I can't do that fishing is nothing but something I wouldn't call it nothing you gotta plan it, you gotta coordinate it there's a boat, there's a time what's your perfect length of vacation Francis? that's a good question probably like 4 days 5 days now I went to New Zealand for 2 weeks I could not handle it. It's too much? Yeah. Were you afraid of like missing out on stuff? I just wanted to get back to work. You know how to do the hawk on that? Work is fun. Our work is. Yeah. It honestly sucked. It was like I had a lot of, I was posting shit all the time coming into the end of the year and then I went out there and came back and felt very disconnected. But did you feel, you convinced yourself you lost momentum? Yeah, I think I did. I don't, no. dude i was just throwing shit on on instagram and tiktok and it was fucking ripping eating anything or like those are like i think that would rip even if you took a little break her her kids on christmas blew up really yeah yeah you you have been on streak like not anymore now now january that's how it works for everyone january went quiet can i the next step would you you'd have to do something morally evil to get to the next step that you want to be at maybe i think the The concept of momentum in our line of work is actually just in our heads. No. I think I've been on streaks where I feel like, oh, I haven't done anything that popped in a while, or I am on a hot streak, and then it's generally we're just the same all the way. I don't think momentum from people looking at us is the same as the momentum we feel inside ourselves. Maybe, but, I mean, you do have a numerical way of tracking, which is just social media following. But sometimes those algorithms are bullshit anyway. yeah maybe sometimes i i mean when they're pouring in and then and you see over the last 90 days i had this many people at it or whatever came to see me and then over the last 90 days now it's one-tenth of that number you're like okay well that was a period of bounty and this is a period i was doing something better than than i am now but you also just said you have sold out 16 straight comedy well my i'm not that that's a different metric i mean the the stand-up stuff because the people in X city I'm only going there once a year. That's their only opportunity to see me maybe. Danny, a hot streak's multiple good things in a row. I was just going to ask. I don't think there's a correlation between numbers and quality necessarily. Maybe not. Now you can just post a picture with text over it and it might get a million likes. It's not even funny. are you disheartened when you put out something you don't think is good and it goes crazy I'm disheartened when I see the success of Jack Mack it just baffles me I can't understand I like Jack Mack but if it's in a lane of something that you have no interest in doing yeah no I'm not I don't envy it there are people I envy but what do you mean like if if there's somebody doing content that i have like like i i would never want to do then i don't really care yeah i can't compete with hannah montoya i don't know what's going on there that's not really what i'm saying you're saying you don't make the jack max style you don't want to do political stuff or oh internet recaps yeah but i mean i wouldn't mind having a million tiktok followers i feel like i'd be in theaters but would you would you want to do stuff you didn't like to get that number exactly i do a lot of stuff i don't like i didn't like eating three quarters of a fucking wedding cake but we had to purge but those things do huge numbers both but like those are you watch that like that's funny what i do no i don't understand the eating thing i don't know how that thing i don't i don't know you're very good at it and it's the commentary and i don't understand i never understood the Game of Thrones thing either the song I never understood either those are two where I was like I can't even I couldn't even watch this myself and uh and I don't understand the appeal that's for it like it someone in Papua New Guinea you give them what they want you know if it works you keep going but like are you bummed when something pops off that you don't like you're like I gotta keep doing that no no all your numbers are huge yeah that's insane all numbers are great but uh I'm not complaining about the success i'm just baffled by you want more the formula i can't more i can't figure it out have you gotten you're the guy who eats the weird things for lunch oh yeah oh yeah you have to i get that from uh yeah women women love it yeah yeah but they don't even they don't know that i work at barstool they don't know about son of a boy dad they don't know that i on the internet invitational tires the other eat a pussy at work oh have pussy oh eat a pussy Steven? Jesus Brandon. At work? It's crazy. Okay, don't. I was just giving you an idea. Eat a pussy at work. You ate a lobster. Who do you think I am? Nicky Smokes? Hey-oh. I mean, your whisper intro, and if you just slide spread legs... That could work. That would be hilarious. Normally I'd be way too self-conscious to eat this. You're welcome. Man. Speaking of Nikki Smokes, really quick. So yesterday I was just telling him this. I got off the subway and I was coming back into my neighborhood and walking up the steps. And this guy said, hey, you work at Barstool, right? And I was like, yeah. He's like, oh, I'm friends with Nikki Smokes. And I was like, oh, cool. and then we just walked in the same direction together like three feet apart going the same way and he's talking to me about how he knows nikki smokes and they went to college together and all this and uh we're getting closer to my where i live and like i'm i don't know this guy and you I'm really approaching it, and I'm thinking, do I walk past my own home to maintain some level of privacy for this? But I turned in, and I was like, well, this is me. As if we were going to kiss goodnight. Yeah, yeah. Well, yeah. That was fun. Yeah, jingling my keys from Hitch. But yeah, he went on. He was a nice guy. He was a nice guy. What was a Nicky Smoke's friend? Was he douchebag presenting? Was he womanizing presenting? He seemed douchebag reformed. Oh. He's like, I have a wife. You could smell it on him, though. Former douchebag. Yeah. You could just see the hint of a neck tattoo under his cashmere scarf. He still had the earring holes. Yeah. Did you ever have pierced ears? Did you have a hoop? High school. Okay. Yeah. Did you have the M&M bleached hair, too? It was, yeah. Okay, I can see it. Eddie. Have photos of that surfaced? The ears, yes. The hair, I don't know if they exist. Probably just on physical copies. Like yearbooks? No, because I wouldn't, there was always a summer thing because I wasn't ever allowed to have that in school. It was a no-no. We were just Jonah Hill, 21 Jump Street. Pretty much, yeah. Our high school didn't even allow earrings either. No. You had to put the clear plastic things on. You just did it for the weekends. I had a similar interaction, but it was Nicky Smokes' brother once. Yeah. I didn't know he had a brother. That was a stunner. Yeah. I was in a casino in Fort Lauderdale for Dana's bachelor party. This guy's like, yo, I'm Nicky Smokes' brother. It's like, oh, shit. Actually didn seem douchebag or form Seemed normal Wow Yeah Cool He just a CPA Yeah I guess Brandon gone Yeah. Yeah, that's it. He's on edge. Why is he on edge? I don't know. You can just tell. He was hollering earlier. I heard him screaming. Yeah. And then I asked, why were you screaming? He said, I wasn't. He was. What was he screaming about? He certainly was. He had to put on a different shirt. Oh. That does suck sometimes Sometimes That fucking sucks Oh Kyle Do you do burpees? Is that like a No no we're not gonna challenge I don't do um I lift for just for aesthetics Yeah burpees They're too hard I don't do like cardio lifts I respect them You'd be good at them I'm sorry You'd be really Why what about them? Bounce off the ground well there's this test there's a fitness test that has come up that i've learned about that is like a pretty universal test and it's really hard you do a 15 burpee emom for for as many rounds as you can so i'm like instantly out on that yeah it sucks it's a nightmare you if you're good at it like surprise your fit they say they the the guy said if you do five you're that's good seven means you're in really good shape and like 10 or more means you're like okay that would okay okay how many did you do it i got five but it took me like oh so it's like hard hard because you're in shape took me three weeks of training them oh shoot get five okay and it was a it's a nightmare yeah i believe it that's 15 burpees in one minute and then you get to rest until the next minute starts so the first round i did in 44 seconds and then progressively your rest time gets shorter it's like a power hour suddenly the beers come quicker yeah it's the one thing we can relate to yeah oh i know what you mean i've done a power hour yeah do you subscribe to the notion that you must do things that are excruciatingly hard no you've talked to me about this you've told me about why you shower cold in the morning i'm over that oh you don't you are yeah subjecting yourself to discomfort because it what i think there's a lot of hackiness to that lifestyle oh you've now disavowed oh yeah big time oh i'm happy to hear that welcome back to comfort right yeah you gave up on comfort for what i did dude it didn't do anything yeah yeah it just makes you miserable kind of had like a placebo effect yeah you're i was delusional in the sense that i thought i was like ascending which felt good but whoa what what do you mean by that i thought i was like ascending like my oh i think i'm on the path of like enlightened happiness and oh just like okay a better quality of life oh was there a euphoria that came from the actual discomfort or from completing the discomfort like once you were done you're like wow now i know it's a preliminary euphoria thinking that i was going to be like forever progressing boy there's some plateau quickly you're like oh this sucks there's some god complex talk going on here i gotta be i gotta warn you yeah well that's like there's no wonder that your voice who push this stuff they are like you have to want to be a god you have to strive to be a beast and it's like no you don't lifting weight is a men's beauty routine it's a mundane health routine it should be treated as such don't exclude the ladies i love i love a girl with some fucking thick ass traps i've been going twice a week oh yeah since the new year that's what it should be going two to three times a week yeah not like making it everything I like women that don't have breasts They have pecs That's what you're into now Just a nipple on a really hard Fucking shelf What else do you look for? I'd be fine with that I want vascularity in their cleavage What else do I look for? Kindness That's a big one But definitely Definitely the pecs Definitely vascularity ahead of kindness I'll take a mean old bitch if she's easy to give an ivy to wiggly veins i saw that any anyone can sign up for those competitions you know where you get on the stage real tan and you're like oh yeah literally anybody part of me is like just to zest my life up just for fun just do it i'm not fit do that yeah just it'd be funny i don't know just as a joke kind of like yeah i once worked with a gal who did that on the weekends but she looked like she had a normal body like normal everything but then she would show us pictures from the competition she had on saturday where she was just fucking crazy and ripped but then they hydrate yourself they're able to present themselves totally do those people not live long or when they stop working out they become pretty fat no i think the uber like the the ones that go way way way they're perceptible to early death is ronnie coleman is he a mailman or ups man i don't know much about that world but like those guys look like they're in tremendous i think he is and uncomfortable all the time but to your food she had to plan out every second of her food of the day and whatever and like it's just not she couldn't maintain it my friend for like more than a year his documentary is really sad is it yeah he's still around right steve mahallet shot himself yeah he did i watched that ronnie coleman doc right it's really sad you can't stop working out and you can barely you can't even walk yeah he still goes and like puts himself under the machines and stuff throwing on three plates like yeah it's insane no problem hey do you remember that true life i'm a bodybuilder yeah i i vaguely remember that one true life was a great show he had his dad shaving his ass for him right i remember that part his dad would shave his body all his crevices for him before the show. I remember the other one too, the True Life. The guy was a weightlifter but couldn't get the definition he wanted, so he got muscle implants. So he looked super ripped. Calf implants, right? Yeah, calf implants. Johnny Drama. My dad never shaved my ass one time. No? Not one time, Kate. I'm starting to think he wasn't a good pops. My dad shaved my ass every time. Every day. He would tweeze it. is anybody in here getting night terrors yes you do yeah really i have stress dreams all the time um a figure why are you laughing sleep paralysis a lot is i've had it twice in my life and i can pinpoint the two i know to a day the moment and time that it happened and i can remember what i saw and it is the most horrified i've ever been you see a figure yeah what does the figure look like it's like a silhouette shape yeah it's dark yeah i had that and then i i feel like i'm awake but can't move oh that's the sleep paralysis it's horrible and i wake up gasping for air and i can't go back to sleep sounds fucking awesome i turned on a doc about it yesterday i watched 10 minutes i turned it off it was so scary i did it i dude i woke up and i'm telling you when i say screaming I mean like 30 seconds of like the guy who finds the head of the horse and the guy that's what it was dude valid it was dude are you guys sleepwalkers no I'm hot when it's like hot okay you know I wake up disoriented every time I travel like your first night somewhere else I'm wake up super disoriented and kind of wander oh yeah that's terror is like a perfectly rated emotion. Yeah, it sucks. Nobody likes terror. There's not really an upside. No upside to terror. So why do people chase it with movies and stuff? That's adrenaline. Or that's scary. That's a couple steps below terror. Yeah. I like being scared once in a while. That's why I see scary movies. But people thrill-seek with jumping out of airplanes and doing people push the limits all the time trying to get themselves to that level of adrenaline through terror. And also, So I would say that a great horror movie could terrify. Yeah. Terror is different, though. Terror is when disaster is impending for you. You think death is like... Terror is when the boat is sinking, not when you have a parachute to fall back on. That's a good point. I've only had it once when I thought I was dying. So terror is the imminent fear of death. When did you think you were dying? when i had the uh the sin the barstool sponsored synthetic cannabinoid oh is that when you're with d-low yeah i thought i was gonna die in cheese quake gotta pull over jeff are you sure he was texting me through that yeah okay try to jump out of his car holy moly dude i got stuck under a kayak that had flipped over on the middle fork of the salmon river when i was nine and i thought that was that was over i thought i was gonna die what's the difference between night terrors and sleep paralysis sleep paralysis you can't move yeah like you're you are you know what's going on and you can't you have no control over it i believe yeah you're screaming but nobody it's one of the reasons i left iup and like joined the military was i was doing a lot of drugs and drinking at the time but i started getting i had a few bouts of sleep paralysis and i was convinced it was like death was coming it was so i was decided to I was laying in my bed at school. I was like, I'm going to get killed on my own terms. I was like laying in my bed, screaming. I was screaming in my head. It felt so real for somebody to help me, but I couldn't. And my room was like, no, we didn't hear you. You weren't screaming. I was like, I was. I was awake and I was screaming and I couldn't move out of my bed. That's as bad as it gets. And it lasted for like, felt like forever. Do you still get it? No, I haven't had it since then. White Sox Dave gets it pretty bad, I think. You would have to feel so relieved to know that other people are seeing like a demonic figure in their room too. Yeah, I think there's a big group, but it happens to a lot of people. I don't know how you just go about your day after that. We're having a scorpion show, boys. A little bit. We're getting a little scorpion. That was Rico's thing during Surviving, right? He would scream. He said he got night terrors. Yeah. So I think that's just a dream where you're really into it and you're active and you're screaming. Just a nightmare. Yes. I think it's like stress dreams, but what does White Sox Dave have to be stressed about? That's a good question, Nick. See him getting massaged this morning? Lunch me. We've avoided it as long as we can. This is what we'd rather talk about than... I don't... The first woman president. No! Michelle! No! Michelle! Michelle! Do we have a Mincy-Whitney feud? Who cares? Good. Seemed pretty one-sided. Good point. who gives a fuck you're right you're right my bad my bad that's on me that's all right my favorite mincy feud of all time was francis he mincy texted me out last night and he just said this trip's wild yeah what happened with me and mincy you don't remember that when you were on the trivia team and you didn't perform that well and you end up on a blog back and forth forgot about that yeah it was forgettable i guess yeah how big is your kill list what do you mean you know like how many people have you ended via the i don't think it's i don't know as long as how many people have you attempted to i'll ask well there's always i mean i've written blogs about people but uh some of them are like light-hearted like i wrote a blog about taylor leJuan how he has a stylist and he tells people that he dresses himself but that was in that was in good fun it's a roast classic yeah it was also yeah i mean just acknowledging how fucking handsome he is that's very different than writing a blog up about ben mince or something like that he is living a dream life yeah dude he's in cappadocia which is like i think it's one of the coolest looking places in the world is that where they have the pot air balloons yeah there's a video of someone like riding a bicycle through Cappadocia with the hot air balloons, and it's the most mesmerizing thing I've ever seen. He was on a camel this morning. I saw that. That look on his face killed me. Well, that was him acting. Yeah, that was him acting. Whenever he acts. Whenever he does the face thing, it's acting. Yeah. Come on, dude. That's a funny face. No, no, no, no. That's his acting. Yeah, the little head. Yeah. That's his. Yo, film this. Yeah. Yo, get this. I don't mind it. I think it's funny. I fell for it. I giggled this morning when I saw it. Keep your pants up He looks horrified Brandon have you ever ridden on a camel before? No I have not Gotta work Yeah I've never ridden on a camel I actually got some Oh I got some camel burgers Whoa you ate camel? No I'm going to I have them in my freezer Yeah I think I'll do that Problem is it doesn't look crazy And you gotta hold the packaging up to prove that it actually is camel. Yeah. So it's not that. The visually weird things are more fun. What else is out there visually weird? Well, I wanted to do, everyone's been telling me I need to do my own hibachi chef. The problem is that the fire code in our building in New York is incredibly tight. We can't have any open flame. And then you reach out to a bunch of hibachi places and they're like, no flame. No flame. What a slap in the face. what are we supposed to do that's the hibachi chef voice well those are the mob those are the new york pimps that run the i didn't know that i didn't know it was a ring immigrant they're all all those chefs by the way are married to the happy ending massage parlor masseuses really yeah they're in it they're they're just totally in a bad situation oh yeah francis have you ever seen the videos or the restaurants where they'll bring in an entire tuna and then they'll do tuna, sashimi. They cut up an entire tuna carcass in front of you. Who's this? That's TJ. Oh, hey, TJ. He's behind the glass over here. Do they do that at a restaurant? Yeah. No, I've never. Do this at your desk? Holy shit. That's got to be like $5,000. Thousands and thousands of dollars. Yeah, do that, Francis. It's like going to a movie that once the tuna is chopped in half good lord there's too many british people on tick tock you think so yeah every time i watch a video and it's a british guy i just turn it off what's the uk's population they all talk 60 something they're everywhere they all talk they think we want to hear them talk too they do talk i watch a lot of uh old video game content you know retro video game lists and and all this stuff and nine out of ten of them are british and it just pisses me off oh i live my algorithms all the british girls who are the scouses who do the white lipstick with the big fake on yeah they're like borderline travelers and i'm obsessed with it all those girls go to ibiza every time they can yeah they're always down there yep the girls from manchester yep and they are so they look like shit they wear nothing so they look like shit but there's a market there's dudes that are very british guys those guys look like shit too giant veneers i live for their get ready with me videos because they look okay at the start of it and then by the time they're ready to go out you're like what the fuck they look like shit their food is bad it always rains over there and they sound hilarious can we kyle explain to me the evolutionary process that made americans more attractive than british people because that's not that long. Right. Why are Americans, is that just because we have places like California and good weather that they don't have? Wasn't it varying genetics makes people, because the more of the same you got, the weirder everybody gets, and they're on kind of, not England's not an island, but kind of is. We've got more of a range of people we can make. We'll look at Australia. All the British people that moved to Australia got progressively more attracted. They're good looking. Because they're in more sun. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. Everybody is good looking down there. They're like. Oh, yeah? I've seen some. They're fun looking. Name an ugly Australian. They have a unique look. Oh, there's some beautiful Australians. There is, for sure. Beautiful Australians. I watched this documentary about this like Coober Pedy, like the one bar out there where it's all the, it's a long story, but it was just like creatures. You're out in like the desert and stuff. Yeah, the desert people. If you get away from Sydney and the beaches, I could see where they would get. They got there. they got their fellas. Do you know that in New Zealand there is not a single snake or spider in the entire country? I think I did know that. No spiders? Lovely. Not a single like... How'd they get away with no snakes? There's not a single poisonous or venomous creature of any kind on the island. But Australia has all of them. Oh, everything. What about Japan? I don't know. But like a bushel of bananas never had a spider egg in it that got sent there? I don't know what to say other than that when I came into the country, they check the bottom of your shoes to see if there's mud on it from wherever you might have been. And if there is, they make you throw your shoes out. Did you have to? No, my shoes were clean. But there was a woman in front of me who had to take hers off. Wow. Dang. Did you go to Auckland? Flew into Auckland. Price Church? No, then I went to Auckland for a few days and then I was down in like Queenstown, Wanaka area. how can that be no spiders no spiders they've they have had invasive species come and it has fucked up their rivers and you know stuff like that but so somehow they've managed to keep predators and things like that out wow i wonder if anyone's ever taken that as a personal goal i'm gonna sneak a whole somebody back pack of spiders in there probably Asian carp that was me I did that y'all ever stepped on a spider that had eggs oh it's horrifying they all come running out they all just come running out oh my god nightmare I didn't step on it I was trying to gently take it and move it outside by hand well with the tissue and then I squeezed it too hard I don't even think it's eggs I think they're all just kind of on the mama right oh they're in are they in eggs or are they just they're in the sack Okay. They're in the egg sack. Just thousands and thousands of little spiders. A sack of anything is the worst. Yeah, babies shouldn't come in sacks. Well, Santa's sack is pretty good. That's not SAC. Toys. Oh, I see. SAC is bad. Yeah. Say that to Nicky Smokes or Jack McCarthy. That's SAC. No, Santa's sack is great. NASCAR. the Daytona 500 isn't just the start of NASCAR season it's the moment where everything comes alive again and sets the tone for the entire year it's iconic speed, pure spectacle and adrenaline filled moments wrapped into one larger than life American tradition the great American race is prestigious without feeling stuffy and unpredictable in a way that keeps your heart in your throat for 500 miles for drivers it's the race that defines careers and etches their names into the history books forever full throttle, three wide, door to door racing action for the win clear your schedule, grab a drink tune into the daytona 500 sunday february 15th that is this sunday february 15th at 2 30 p.m eastern on fox good read thank you very much can you name are you going to watch the daytona 500 i usually do yeah i was trying to think of nascar drivers because i was driving up with spider i couldn't i couldn't name like two you can name a few uh bubba wallace kyle bush Ricky Stenhouse Jr. Is he still going? Yeah. The ones that are good right now, that's where I struggle. Danny Hamlin. Danny Hamlin's great, yeah. Ryan Preece. I think there's some Hispanic guys that are crushing. Are there? Hispanic sounding names. Pedro? Yeah, I think he's doing well. I bet for him to finish top 10. I like Ross Chastain, the watermelon farmer. Yes. Sometimes his car looks like a big watermelon. Really? Great merch. Great stuff. You don't know anything about it. I'm going to watch this weekend, though. Kyle Larson, that's who I was thinking of. It's still one of my dreams is always to get invited to the Hampton. Blaney was the yak. He's really good at the gauntlet. Yep, Blaney was good. Joey Logano, Spider hates. Yeah, where did you get Hispanic? Spider was telling me names. I said, who should I bet on? And he said these names. We had SVG in the office, too. Austin Dillon, his pit crew is super hot. I think I was lied to, boys. you'll just believe anything there's Daniel Suarez Ricky Stenhouse Jr. extremely NASCAR name oh I'm working oh wow how are you always offended at every god damn thing you're un-fucking-believable I think he forgets we're live every single time yeah why is he mad at you wait Francis why would he be mad at you do you have a guess we have a bit where I get mad at him when he comes to New York and doesn't tell me. No, you're hearing things. But I don't know. I'm just kidding. Come here. Dante. Dante. Come here. We send him away again. No. Yes. No. Come here. Why are you saying no? I can't hear. Have a seat real quick. Those shoes are too much. What are you doing here? Brandon, you're not allowed to be the guy that's so bad. Those shoes are too good. We weren't able to get what we needed. We had a sponsored one we had to do when I was here for the... You're having a rough month, huh? Basketball. Jesus. You'll be happy about what's... Yeah, I know I am. Did he talk to you? Yeah. Oh, really? Yeah. Well, there you go. That's great. Why does that please you so much? He was mad at me that I hadn't reached out to him about the... That he didn't consult me. About what? Why would he consult you? He's an early day guy. He's fucking been here since day zero. Everybody's got Dave Portnoy's ear. Yeah, he hears one fucking perspective. Do you know anything about writing a book? You read books. I know you read books. Do you know anything about writing them? Yeah. You don't want one single story if you're writing an autobiography on somebody. That's what I thought, dude. And then he told me, I feel like you should not have consulted other sources. Dante, I'm an outsider. He said that to me. I'm an outsider. Because it's his story and his memory. You're a charity case. Me? Yes. Bo, what's going on here? What is going on? He's so hostile. Abrupt. I said hi to Brandon yesterday, and he just looked at me disgusted and walked by me. That's not true. I don't know what I did to you now. You're like good days, bad days with me. I don't understand. What makes him a charity case? I'm mad at Francis. How many times is this now? You're just laughing. You're unbelievable, dude What do you mean? Just tell me you don't want to go out with me Well, dude, the last time we went out to dinner Was one of my favorite meals I've ever had Then what happened? They changed the restaurant Now it's Fire by Alinea We can't go there It's too expensive They close that They close that? Yeah That's too expensive We can't go there The place it was before was great Royster Yeah, that was great Phenomenal Yeah But Fire by Alinea also was very good You got so high. Did I? Yeah, you had that unbelievable weed. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Went outside. Sounds good. It was way too strong for me. But we did that in the middle of it? Yeah. Yeah, that was fun, man. I was like, I like doing dinner with Francis. It was so good. Let's do it again. And you just have, like, ghosted me every time. Honestly, when I come here now, it's like, what we're here doing is, like, intense. Every fucking time. What are you doing for dinner? No plans. You want to do something? want to have dinner i might be busy oh oh no i'm just well in truth i didn't tell you i was coming so if that were true it would be on me all right well i feel bad for dropping and interrupting are you are you free at like 3 30 to film something with us yeah sure all right what what are you guys doing uh friday night pints with kate cannell oh cool that's that's a great show yeah we need you for like 10 minutes okay sure thing all right thanks are you going on the stool biza trip the what stool biza that was kyle talking stool abiza yeah stool biza yeah oh fuck yeah is this another i think like made up thing or we know it's a donny no did you get invited yeah did you actually i just did no you didn't you just invited you're actually not on the list damn hey rizzo says hi i know i saw you guys were hanging out at uh your buddy's Shane Gillis is. Yeah. He says hi. He said he was going to see you. Yeah, so he was in Chicago the next day. Cool. How was it? That was awesome. Yeah. He's a good dude, isn't he? I love him. Every time I hang out with him, it's like we just fall right back into the last time. He had a lot of questions about Roan for some reason. He did? Yeah. Like? Not like weird ones. He was just very intrigued by them. Hmm. and he had no idea who sass was so you did a bad job introducing him i don't think sass was around he was in the picture with you guys that i don't i don't know how that picture happened okay that picture is insane why well because it was like shane aaron judge and anthony rizzo taking a photo together and then how the fuck did we get added to that that doesn't make any sense why would they ever they it's not like they the three of them were like taking photos with people well what happened i don't know i don't know but that's a crazy picture you're freaking me out now why look at this guy staring at me well you came in here that's the look you gave me yesterday on brandon's show and called him a charity case i don't think a dirty look translates to a charity case what in the world makes me a charity case yeah you said that i don't know it's the first thing that came to mind okay why sorry you're you're making me you're making me feel bad now and i don't want to feel bad i'm holding everything back let it let it loose tell me how you really feel because i feel like you said it with your eyes yesterday i was eating lunch dante you were what you weren't walking and eating you were walking by me i was like hey i was walking like looked at me it was between mostly in the yeah all right i did something to him i don't know what i I didn't hear you say it. I was just walking. I had tunnel vision. I was walking to where I was going. I didn't see you. I didn't hear you. It was you and I, the only people. But I didn't hear you. Okay. All right. I just thought I was on your bad side. Some days you're in a mood. Charity case. You really did it this time, Don. This is your fault. I didn do anything This is your fault Can you share with us one of the stories that you wanted to share with Francis No I don want him to talk to me I with Brandon Can you tell Kate it then Can you tell to Kate? I'm too afraid of Brandon and Francis not liking me. You just said you were pissed that Francis didn't contact you for stories about the book. What's one of those stories? Oh, I just said I was like, yeah, when you're like talking about the early day stuff. He's wondering. Let me know. He's like, oh, it's done. The book's done. Well, surely you had a story to tell him if you got that mad about it. No, I was just like, how do you not talk to people from the early, early days? He was like, oh, I did. I talked to Gaz. I was like, oh, great. That's going to be. Well, maybe you made the right decision considering you have no stories. Well, there was some quote in there about me that I can only imagine. In my copy? Yeah. Remember you were going to read it to me and then you said you weren't going to. I had to wait. Well, whatever. That's gone now. I can find that, though. Do you think Dave has written about you? Can you not read it on air? Why wouldn't you want me to? I don't think it's bad. You were laughing your ass off in New York. Was I? Yeah. It still doesn't mean it's bad. It should just be funny. I'll look for that and I'll tell you. All right. But I thought, I mean, I had a pretty... I think that it was Zolo who pitched the idea that they get rid of all of the live acts and just hire you for the whole Blackout tour, right? Yeah. Were you also part of that pitch? No. Oh. But you were DJing at the time. How did you know them? Dude, I started Barstool Chicago. I was like out here, boots on the ground. Get a sneak peek at the newest former. Dave hired this guy, Neil. Dave hired this guy, Neil, who was from Providence, flew him out to Chicago and was like, make this guy like our Chicago guy. And don't tell anybody he's not from there. So I was like, okay. It didn't help that he wasn't that funny. But how did you know Dave? I met him at South Station in Boston. When he was handing out the newspaper. He was filling up a newspaper rack, and I was like, I read this every time I come home, and I take the train to Worcester. I was like, I fucking love it. And I was like, you got to bring it to Chicago. He was like, you're in Chicago, and you know what Barstool is? That's unbelievable. So we started, like, emailing back and forth. And then he was like, I want to do, he was like, I found this rapper who's going to be huge. I want to bring him on tour. Can you, do you know anything about throwing concerts? I was like, oh, yeah. I know how to do that. Yeah. We started Stoolpalooza. This is cool. This is a cool story. Then we did another Stoolpalooza with Mike Posner. No, that was back to stool. Yes. Yeah, you're right. Yeah. And Chitty Bang. That was the whole Chitty Bang thing. And White Panda. Yeah, and that was the only thing that was making us money back then were these live shows. We did a lot of watch parties back then, too, like Hurricane O'Reilly's and Greatest Bar. So you're very important to why we're all here Right Yes Are you the reason I live in Chicago? You started this I didn't know you were so instrumental In starting Barstool Chicago I didn't know that Yeah I did all of Big Cat's videos Those horrible horrible videos back then That were like The Shed Aquarium video The Shed Aquarium video Yes like Blair Witch Project I did all of those WNBA Yeah We did also So we did a hundred videos that never saw the light of day because Dan was like cringe after that were fucking hilarious. That if we could dig up today and find would be. What's an example of one? We did one. It wasn't a wet t-shirt contest, but it was some like shorts hit contest. There's a tan. Dan like entered. I saw pictures of it. He had this tight pink shirt that said Big Titty Committee on it. It was so fucking good. He did an eating contest. Tater tots? What? Was it tater tots? What's tater tots? That was one of them. Is that a titty competition, Ed? I don't know. Ed was around for a lot of these, too, because Ed was like an intern. Yeah, it was like a tater tot eating contest. And it was like, I remember the pictures came, but the video I don't think ever came out. Ed knows all the stuff, too, because Ed was around. That was so long ago, dude. Yeah. Well, it's awesome. I mean, I love that stuff. I think that's the stuff. Probably would have been great for a history book. If only that were what I had been writing. You know what? We can do the unauthorized version. I'm sure that'll go over well. I was going to read an audio book version of it and tell the real stories. That was my plan. Sort of like a DVD commentary? Yeah. That's cool. That was my plan. I like that. I forget who gave me that idea. Jack Mack, I think, gave me that idea. Yeah, well, listen, you can't be mad at me anymore. I'm barely part of this thing. I'm mad about the dinner thing. Oh, I don't know what to tell you about that. You come to New York, you don't tell me you're coming. I do. No, you don't. Yes, I do. You just show up in the office and I can't make a reservation. This is a 50-50 failure of friendship. Now's the time and place to hash this out. Yeah. Let's move on. I'll talk to you after. I'll come to your show and we'll talk about dinner tonight. All right. Sorry for crashing. Brandon, I feel bad. I genuinely feel bad for what I said. I'm sorry. I don't know. I shouldn't feel bad because you say a lot worse things. Such as? You're not very good at completing an apology. Right. Name one thing I've ever said about you. Ever. Put the timer up, Teej. Ever. Danny. Danny, give me something. I don't know. You might be on your own for this one. You and I have never neither come together or clashed. Why? I don't know. Am I a charity case? There was something like a year or two ago. I wrote a blog, a rebuttal blog. And you and I shook hands. Yeah. And I'm a charity case. Poor choice of words. I take that back. I'm sorry. You wouldn't be here without him, though, technically. You owe him everything. I never said that. Have you thought it? I kind of, and I'm saying this genuinely, I think you're the farthest thing from a charity case. Well, thank you. I don't need that, but I do need him. You're like a... Fucker. you're like a leading guy you're like a pillar i'm not a pillar yeah you are no no i don't that's not the point right you're a pillar no i'm not a pillar you don't think you're a pillar no i'm not you're self-made you're self-made you're not a cherry case you're self-made all right i will give you that all right thank you don't thank you for being here you're a pillar get a sneak i'm not a pillar get a sneak peek at the uh newest formulas flavors and brands coming to gnc the drop by gnc is the place for what's new and what's next a curated spotlight on the freshest finds and hottest launches and performance and wellness supplements from trending ingredients to breakthrough formulas the drop by gnc keeps you in the know before anywhere else every drop is handpicked by gnc experts people who know which trends actually work new drops launch regularly so there's always something exciting to discover some drops are limited time or early access meaning you can try the newest innovations before they hit shelves anywhere else the drop by gnc is a place to come back to again and again for what's new and exciting in performance and wellness. Explore what's new and what's next. Use code BARSTOOL15. That's BARSTOOL15 at GNC.com for 15% off your entire order. Exclusions apply. Use BARSTOOL15 at GNC.com for 15% off your entire order. Exclusions apply. Boy, the energy in here. Is this what happens? No, not usually. What does this like? Not usually. Not really. This show? Not really, Francis. Big Cat goes away and it's just fucking... It was good energy. That was a hijacking I don't know what that was That was crazy To make you feel better Have you seen the video of Dante getting pranked by security? Oh I think he was He came in mad at you And I was sitting beside you? I won't reach out and grab you Sir, spread your legs up Dude, you're giving me a hard time You're not gonna Don't give me a hard time Hey I like that. I'll have to pull a prank. Great. No, it's all good. Charity case. Charity case. No. That's not an insult. you just throw around. No, that one came in loaded. From deep in the heart. Again, I think he was mad at you and I was just sitting beside you. That happens to you a lot, though. It does. It does. Somebody comes and they feel like they got to shoot a gun here in the yak and they always aim it at me. I'm caught in the crossfire and you don't understand. No, I don't. But there's one thing you know for sure. What's that? Poor man want to be rich. Rich man want to be king. The king ain't satisfied until he rules everything. What's he doing? It's a lyric, I'd imagine. The bar. Bruce Springsteen. Oh, I don't listen to it. It's Missy Elliott. I thought it was Missy as well. Nobody knows that fucking song? I don't. Come on now. I don't know much Bruce Springsteen. I never got into him. Badlands. I know more Missy Elliott than I do, Bruce. I think a lot of your problems come from just people don't realize it. They're just not, you know, when you're eating your Chick-fil-A, you're not going to say hello. Yeah, I do. When I come out of mostly, and before I go into YAC, I kind of do get into a... I don't get having to say hi to the same person. I don't either. Nick and I... Pass them the stairs. Hi. I forget something. Pass them again. Hi again. You're so ubiquitous. You're invisible. All of you. To me. I'm sure that's comforting for them. Kyle, hit the EMOM workout really quick. Hit the what? Show us the burpees. I want to see. You do it first. No, I'm not going to. I could never. Kyle whooped my ass in the pull-ups a couple weeks ago. How many can you do? I mean, I did 18. He did like 22 or something. 18 is fucking crazy. It's crazy. Small man's game. Like short arm thing? Smaller dudes can do way more pull-ups. You don't give yourself enough credit for anything ever. I know. I'm so strong. Did you ever think about, and I don't mean that, Did you ever think about gymnastics? No, because I was never flexible. I feel like you would have been so good at gymnastics. I was so tight and unflexible that it was almost an asset for me. Aren't those guys all upper body, though? They have the best builds in athletics. Because they're tiny waist, and then it all goes up and out, and they can do everything with their arms. Yeah, I respect that game. But no, I'm afraid to flip. Isn't that a weird thing that those guys I don't think they, do they lift in addition to the sport? They got to, right? Or did they just train in the sport? They absolutely lift. Okay, because all of them have those biceps that are just just like orange slices. Yeah. Well, their shoulders also come out a lot. Their shoulders are insane. 5'4". But the women do women's gymnastics and men's gymnastics are completely different sports because the men's gymnastics is upper body based and women's is not right like rings is upper body based so the women don't do it yeah the parallel bars is upper body based so women don't do it but they do the uneven bars that's upper body that's that's more swinging than it is holding yourself up right maybe true i always did want to try the uh back in one in my athletic days. I want to just get up on those uneven bars and see what would happen. Probably nothing. Maybe magic. Probably death. After the 96 Olympics, I tried it on our clothesline, chipped my front tooth. I was trying to flip from metal bar to metal bar. Of all those things, I think the most impressive is probably the men on the rings. Holding themselves up and doing all the flips. But the pommel horse is also very crazy. That blows my mind. Wasn't there like a superstar the pommel horse last time a dude steven netorozik oh yeah people went crazy for that guy the glasses oh yeah dancing with the stars and now it's the quad god what olympian or celebrity or athlete has the ideal male body oh good question uh it's adrian peterson over dk metcalf yeah i'm gonna go peterson huh who's that the basketball player who just got the leg lotion ad. Kevin Durant? And the legs go on forever. That's a joke, right? Yes. Okay. Because I panicked at first. It made me upset. Would that be your ideal male body? No. But I just wanted to double check. Yeah, that was a cheeky ad. Ronaldo's got a pretty sick body. Only, I mean, Gosling and Crazy Stupid Love, that was... You liked that? It wasn't too pronounced. Over Pitt and Troy? Pitt and Troy was impressive. I'll take Pitt and Fight Club. Yeah, I think that That leaner build is way more impressive and sexy. That's what I'm going for. It's the last time y'all really looked at Victor Wimbledon-Yama. I forgot about him. Just looked at him. I did forget about him. He just hit that thing, that body. It's crazy. It doesn't. What's going on? Basketball. He's 7'6". He's the new superstar. And he just can dunk effortlessly. And he'll just reach for a rebound or something. And it'll be. Is this him? Yeah, that's crazy. He's like way more flexible than a big man has ever been. He has the movement of a small guard, but he's 7'6". See, that freaks me out a little bit. He's 7'6". Doesn't he like in the offseason go train with monks? Oh, I don't know. Does he? I think so. Yes. Master Goo. Look at that. Look at the foot. Jay, he's got your hair. Scored 40 points in like 25 minutes the other night. but that's not the ideal male body no no i didn't i'll be okay i was i was actually going away it's he has probably the antithesis of the ideal male body agreed uh because i mean his body's a gonna betray him and b is just freaky but he's also like incredible sick yeah he's fucking sick i liked adrian peters i think an nfl running back might have the best body have you seen him shirtless dude but but nfl cornerbacks also have great bodies they do look at saquon adrian saquon's body can you pull up adrian peterson shirtless i like a thick upper leg oh those are running backs somewhere if i'm stuck under a car i know he can lift it off who are the quad guys in in in um oh saquon's a quad guy right you're right go down no that's not my favorite one go down yeah like when he was that uh body issue Yeah, he was in the box. Go to all the way right. Yeah, look at this one. You got to be fucking kidding. Oh, my God. Imagine how fast he could swing a stick. Best college running back I've ever seen. That's a fair claim. Yeah, truly. Usually people say that for somebody who didn't make it in the league. Yeah, no, he's the best. Do you think it bums people like that out that they have to wear clothes? Like, I got to walk through the airport with a shirt on with nobody here knowing I got that going on i mean francis do you like opportunities to pop the top no i'm too pale i think that i think that a guy like this can wear clothes that let everyone you still know yeah yeah they can wear like a tank in a cool fashionable way yeah they have access to the best clothes that show off their body access yeah yeah or the confidence how about that yeah tj show me pitt and troy real quick I think it's maybe because he's shiny too Mike Trout's got a shockingly good body Does he? Yeah I think Mike Trout's carrying around a good one. See I like a baseball guy Come on! Who's that? That's Pitt and Troy Dang! Why did I doubt you? When it comes to this kind of shit Why did I doubt you? This is your wheel out My goodness gracious Roback Activewear, best fit, best feel you all know rowback best hoodies and joggers in the game but what you may not know is best pants in the game too the rowback delta pants are incredible a really great fabric and fit for every day they really have a nice stretch waistband for when those lbs keep stacking on find us pairing rowbacks fulton vest with these pants to complete the fit the vest is perfect for winter months has nice zipper pockets and stretch side panels so it's still comfortable and easy to move it use code yak for 20 off your first purchase that's 20 off all pants joggers vests and more use code yak head over to roback.com r-h-o-b-a-c-k.com uh francis i i really meant that i ever since i've been here i've always wanted to take some barstool employees to mississippi and show them the culture and the life and what it's like down there i think you would be actually perfect for that i would love that there was uh i was close to spending two years of my life after college there where i applied for teach for america yeah and the mississippi delta is their highest need area it's the poorest area in the country yeah and uh they I got waitlisted and they said that if I were willing to expand my geographical preferences to include the Delta, they would hire me. But I wasn't. Yeah, that's a I haven't even spent much time over there. That's pretty bad. Yeah. These guys, that's where y'all went. Yeah, I liked that. That was pretty. Yeah. That's where you went to school. No, no, no. For there. We just go to America, Memphis. Right. Down in the Delta. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. yeah i applied to work for the oscar meyer wiener mobile after after high school take a year off didn't didn't get it damn and then i did the peep mobile which they have a mobile and i didn't get that you failed that i failed the fucking exam yeah dude i didn't know there was a peep mobile yeah it was pretty awesome i want a t-shirt on there that's not it it was a big bus 40 different national parks jobs i never got one you went oh for 40 that was like my dream was to be a park ranger i played like all across the u.s now you're stuck i forgot it now i'm stuck here so i'll get some ice cream you think you would have been a good park ranger yes but kate if somebody's doing something illegal on parkland you just would go up to him and apologize to him yeah i don't think so because i think i'd have kind of a hard-on for the park okay i think i would like it's all about the park and i love showing people stuff i like you are a good you are a good shower love showing people stuff were you a gap year guy francis after college no okay you went right to the workforce well i mean who took gap years after college is that when you do it or is it between high school high school okay no no i went straight did any of you i should have i fantasized about it never did yeah no segue there i guess okay all right we're trying really bad you're right yeah Che how has the hair been holding up in Chicago Don't go that way Kyle Bathroom's out of order Women's too Did you see the video One of the most horrific things I've ever seen There's shit on the floor It's coming out of the ground like a bubbling geyser It looks like upside down And there's flies flying all around it In the women's According to white boy Rick The women's is closed as well so I haven't looked in there But I would assume This building has toilet problems and every time you walk in a bathroom it'll reek. We kind of shame people when we first got here and it happened and we were like oh this person did it but this building just has toilet problems. Yeah. This is coming from the drain on the floor. This is coming from like all the pipes. That one up there the women's up there. There were bathroom issues in New York. I just don't I think bars to employee shits are different. Yeah you're right. We're a shitting company. Layman. Or we're having those post San Francisco long poops right now too. Good lord. Listen. This is the shittinest company I've ever worked at. You go into a bathroom any time of day there's multiple guys i've never not seen feet never never there's not that many fucking people here oh in new york there was somebody who kept putting boogers on the urinal yeah i saw somebody i was in the toilet and there was someone sitting next to me and they finished and then they started wiping and when i say that this person used like 30 separate handfuls of toilet paper right handful wipe i could hear the wipe pull pull pull wipe pull pull wipe pull it was manic it was compulsive and it had to have rendered their butthole bloody it's and raw it's kyle every time kyle's the loudest wiper i've ever heard in my life but dude you could You hear him wiping through the closed door. Does he do 30? Yes, his asshole is all scar tissue. It was like as if somebody, like out out dark spot, like Lady Macbeth, constantly washing her hands to wash the blood off her hands. Have you never taken a peanut butter shit? Oh, boy. Oh. What? The ones that never end. I know those as Magic Parker shit. Yeah, the peanut butters. Oh, man. But this was so far beyond that, dude. This was like somebody who leaves the house and has to turn the light off and on and latch the door like 40 times. That's what it was like. There was a true life on that. There was a true life on that. Exactly. You ever seen a Jon Hamm pussy? No. What's that? Like a perfect pussy. A handsome pussy. It's a good looking pussy. Now that's something I'd eat at work. Yeah, there we go. Jon Hamm pussy. Why didn't you start with that? Does the New York office bathroom still have the ever running urinal? They fixed it. Wow. That was like three years. Yeah. They did. They did fix it. Yeah. New York office, I feel like, did you see the clip that Dave was talking about when the lease runs out? No. I guess we must be getting kind of close. I don't know. I would think it's still probably a couple more years. Yeah. When do they move in at 19, right? Mm-hmm. Y'all moved into that right before I moved to New York. So what was that? A 10-year lease? I think it's a, yeah, eight years left. I think it's a 12-year lease. I could be wrong about that What did he say? They were like Some TMZ type person It seemed like What are you going to do when the New York office runs out Is there any chance of that moving at all? Are you going to keep it there? I don't want to say it moves There's a lot of people in there I don't know what we'll do when the lease is up Do you think there will always be a New York hub For bars? No not necessarily The Netflix deal How are you? I think that was kind of a non-answer. Yeah, it was. Did you guys see when somebody asked him, why aren't you with your girlfriend in public more? And he said, all of my employees suck. That was his answer. What was that? I don't bring her around because of all the creatures that work for me. All my employees are terrible people and lucky to be here, and that's why I don't bring her around. And he was right, and I thought that was the most honest answer you could have. I feel honored that I went to dinner with them then. Damn. Damn. You did. I shouldn't have been there then. So I'm a creature. I think we're all creatures, too. Oh, yeah. New York was the most eye-opening, feeling good in the office and then leaving and walking around with New York. You felt like a troll, like a slug. The yo-yos and idiots that he willingly employs. what do you think are we more yo-yos or idiots i think we're yo-yos we're yo-yos uh kate you're you're you're an idiot okay yeah za and arian and a million dollars worth of game guys might be yo-yos i think we're idiots we're idiots yeah we're the slow burn but i all right y'all spin the fucking wheel yeah spin the wheel it's been a long cut the football season you know me and sports it's exhausting you know i feel you i feel like everybody has the football season's over now yeah yeah we're limping to the finish yes we're i feel like we're kind of limping a little bit. It's like a doldrum year. Dan's out having his post-football vacation. Titus, I believe, is recharging the batteries a little bit, too. Nice. Are you taking a trip? No. I got a couple trips coming up in April that I got to go down and take my daughter to college hunting. Well, she's going to Ole Miss, right? Mississippi State. Probably, but that's where we're going to start. She's going to go look at Auburn. She's going to go look at a couple other places. Really? I'm going to let her. You're fine with another SEC school? As long as it's not Ole Miss. If she wants to go to Alabama or Auburn, I would... What if Ole Miss did something funny and was like, full ride? Everything she did. No. You would say no? NIL? You would say no. I'd say no to that. But yeah, I got a couple trips coming up in April where I got to go down there and do stuff. You'd be fine with Tennessee? Tennessee'd be fine. Tennessee's a beautiful place. Knoxville's a great town. I love Knoxville. Yeah. Knoxville's a great fucking town. Alright, TJ. Spin the wheel. all right thank you francis thank you and he's gonna be in batavia all week but you can't buy a ticket that's that's it It's the act. Love you guys. See you tomorrow. Bye.