Pivoting with Funeral Director, Arielle Caraveo

Music Hi, I'm Dr. Olses-Hallibut with another episode of the Way to College podcast. And, you know, the podcast has been a really great opportunity for me to connect with folks within my network, but also folks outside of my network, and then folks that are kind of tangentially connected to my network. So today's guest, today's guest, I didn't know today's guest, but today's guest was one of my wife's students. And so she recommended her. She said, look, check out what she's doing. You should contact her. You should reach out to her. So I did. And so she's been gracious enough to join me on the podcast because I think she has a fascinating story is doing a lot of different things. And I just, I'm eager to get into her story. So Ariel, would you mind introducing yourself to our listeners and viewers out there? My pleasure. So my name is Ariel Tina Caraveo. I am from the class of 2010 in Edcouch, Elsa. I graduated and moved straight to college after that first summer, went to UT Austin, graduated 2014. I had originally planned on going to law school. After getting on academic probation my first semester at UT, I realized I need to, how I, I don't know, refer, I use this word a lot, pivot, change my strategy and to keep on moving forward, you know, there are a lot of things that happen. Sometimes you'll set a goal and then, you know, once you start it, then, you know, you got to, you got to make adjustments. And so that's what happened when I went to UT. I didn't realize how challenging it was going to be or I didn't know what I really got myself into until I was there. And so I graduated and everything. But I was, and I was able to study abroad. I'm a minor in Spanish. My major was communication. And I got a global business foundation certificate. So I knew, I always knew that I was going to be a business person and a business owner. I always knew that. But I didn't realize it's funny. You could, like I said, you could plan, you know, there's your plan, iron god's plan. And so you got to leave some flexibility in there. And so when I left to Dallas from Austin, I had even, it was even further. We are going from 300 miles from home to 500 miles from home. So there was even less people that I knew over there. But I had my one goal of graduating and becoming a licensed funeral director and embalmer. So I just kept that pretty much had like a checklist and just went through the process. And I didn't, I didn't, what's it called, deviate. I did the best I could to survive. But there's always going to be something else to do. But you just have to remember why you're there in the first place. So yeah, as many restaurants and clubs and everything that there was in Dallas, you know, other jobs I could have taken and things like that. But I just, I stuck to my plan of graduating. So I'm gonna stop you. I'm gonna stop you because because here you've taken us through, I think some of your journey, right? And kind of you've talked about a lot of different pieces or moments. And it sounds like each of them, kind of there were a lot of lessons learned along the way, right? Yeah. But you mentioned a couple of things that stood out to me as, you know, in high school, you were going to be an attorney. And so you go to UT and you graduate with a degree in communications and a minor in Spanish, and you study abroad and this, you know, global business certificate. And then you go to Dallas and in bombing school. And so from attorney to all of these other things, before we even get there, my question was, it sounds like college was always part of the plan for you. Like it sounds like you were always motivated and education was always going to be a part of your journey. Is that correct? Correct. Yes. It was, I'd say my mom is the one that, you know, it was, she didn't get to graduate from college. So that was one thing that she really, really wanted for me. And I knew how important it was to her. So I just decided I'm like, it's too, too, in my mind, too simple for me not to do. I'm like, other people can do it. You know, I could definitely do it. Four years goes by fast. And it really does. It went by a lot faster than I thought it would. And then being that I already had 30 college hours, that pushed me even faster to if I hadn't, if I didn't have those 30 hours, I probably would not have gotten a minor or study abroad. But since I went at that pace, nonstop, I only took one summer to off. I just kept that momentum, kept that momentum because I was afraid, like I had heard and met a lot of people that have left the Valley or, or not even left the Valley, start college anywhere. And then they decided to take a break and then they get stuck. And they, so I had to just keep on with the momentum that I had. You know, I wasn't good. I had to really look at the big picture. You know, I was in good health. I didn't have any kids. I wasn't in a relationship, nothing like that. So I like, I have no excuse to not get this done. So I just powered through it. So you, you know, you mentioned though, you've got these 30 hours that you accumulate while you're in high school, right? But you did, you also said you go to UT and you end up on academic probation. What happened there? Right. Okay. So it boiled down to time management. I think in any angle you set, you know, we all have 24 hours and it's about what you do in those 24 hours. And, you know, you got to take care of yourself. You, you know, we got to eat and all that. You got to just be very strict. It's all about strategy. I, in my experience, that's what it would boils down to how are you have 24 hours in your day and what exactly are you doing those 24 hours? How, where are you fitting time for those goals that you want to accomplish? And so when I was in high school, I was very, very active in school. I was class president. I was a student council, FFA, theater, cheerleading, NHS. I mean, I was, I was very, very involved as a student in Ed couch. And I was used to that. And even before I even as a child, my mom or my parents had always had me karate, ballet, tumbling, cheer. I mean, I always had, was used to having a long day, like going to school all day. And then I had that routine of staying active and then, you know, going to sleep and doing all over again the next day. And I was never in the type to quit. So I just, I think that having that mindset of, you know, when you join it, a volleyball team, for example, you're going to play that whole semester. So you prepare yourself to attend all those practices and, you know, get your clothes ready and, and all that sort of thing. And so I think that helped growing up in those sorts of teams, because you learn how to, how to share and how to communicate with others and, and all that. And so we are used to all this structure and support. And you know, it's a small town pretty much, everybody knows everybody, you know, and then you go to work. So in a sense, I was, you could say a big fish in a small pond. Then I go to UT, where everybody there is pretty much a top student of their school. And I didn't even realize how large this place was, like my dorm, all girls dorm, maybe three, four blocks to my first class of the day. And then my next class, maybe three blocks from that location. And we're in Texas, so it was hot, you know, and it was really hot in the summer. And it was really cold in the winter. And my man, what did I get myself into? But that's where I learned, you know, like stress management techniques. So I got there as a bit shocking, you know, coming from the valley, I was a typical girl with a jewelry and I'd like to match and all that. Did not take long by a week later. My whole wardrobe changed to athletic clothes. You know, I started hitting the gym to, to combat the stress. And, but anyway, yeah, going back to what, what, so I never failed in classes. But the reason my grades were so low was that for the first time in my life, I, I had so much free time and too much free time to where I'd be like, I'll just do it later. I'll procrastinate, procrastinate. Well, you know what, that time never came versus so to pull myself out of academic probation. I took this goal setting class there at UT and they really break down that acronym smart, specific, measurable, attainable, timely, smart, something like that. And so that, once I learned that acronym, I just applied that to all areas of my life. But so I did my best at UT when I was working three part time jobs and going to school full time. And that sounds, that sounds crazy. Yeah, it does sound crazy. But that's just how you have to get to know yourself. You know, that's, that's the life that I was used to all those years of getting, going, getting out of practice for one thing and then going to practice for another thing. And, and so that's basically what I did. I kind of replicated that type of schedule. And, you know, I think that the, I go back to the root of it all and like the whole reason why I am an enjoyed being involved in so many activities is because I've always liked connecting with people. And I think also because I don't, I was the first born and one of a kind between my two parents. So I always wanted, you know, kind of not in the search for family, but just, you know, connection, connection, you know, and I, that's what, so that's what I did in college. And you know what, actually ended up being the best decision ever, because it really set my trajectory for going to mortuary school. So when I was in college, probably the most important job I had there, besides being a student was working at Catering. And I worked for Papa's Catering, which is where Papacitos and Papadot. And believe it or not, the catering business is very similar to the funeral business. You have to get, you have a group of people and you have a contract and you make sure, you know, you meet their, their requests, make sure they're happy, make sure they're like, you know, you collect the money. And that's about it. It's the same thing, you know, hospitality, you know, as something that comes natural to me, I think being from, you know, the valley and the Hispanic culture, I think we have a lot of those qualities, you know, enmeshed in us or maybe genetically passed on, you know, so I, I really enjoyed catering and when I moved, it made my move from Austin to Dallas easier because I, I already had a job when I transferred. So I was able to transfer my job from Austin to Dallas. And that to this day, the people I met over there, some of those people are still some of my best friends today. And I would have never thought that, you know, I would never, never would have planned that I was going to be in catering and meet people like that. You know, it's just awesome. Yeah. So, Ariel, let me ask you, because you said, you know, in high school, you wanted to be an attorney. You thought I'm going to be an attorney. But then you're talking about mortuary school, you're talking about, you know, catering and working all of these jobs. When did you decide, like, I want to go and I want to go to mortuary school, I want to learn about that. When did that become an interest for you? The first time I became interested in it was in high school and I was 14. And I wanted to be, well, any time you know, whatever I was going to do, a doctor, lawyer, whatever, I wanted it to be mine. My, my both sides of my family, my grandparents, they had that, that background of being a boss, being their own business owner on my dad's side, that in the poultry shop on my mom's side, that business still going today, a barber shop at a bar, walk, or other, it's been over 50 years already. So, that had been drilled in my mind to also my great grandma said, make sure to finish school before you get married. Now, these are things that were just drilled in my head, like, don't get pregnant, finish school, like, you know, it was just crazy. So, I got it all done. But still, I felt like, okay, what's next? What's next? And so, I think that's an important part to always remember is what is it that's going to make you feel good and what's going to make you feel happy. And so, like I mentioned briefly earlier, I think since I was a technically an only child between my two parents, and I didn't get that experience of having a traditional family, how do you say in Spanish, me quedé con las ganas, like I wanted to, to create a family or I wanted to, to have that. And so, I was, you know, already at that age in my early 20s thinking that I wanted to have a good work-life balance and that sort of thing. And so, both of my parents didn't really have a good work-life balance. I had two extremes, one workaholic and one pair jumping from job to job. So, I had to just, you know, I put my faith in God and just got to know myself and kept moving forward. But yeah, so as far as changing from wanting to go to law school to wanting to go to more tri-school, I think in that time that I was 14, there was a lot of pressure being that my mom was in politics and that sort of thing. And it was just like expected for me to be a lawyer or a politician or something like that. And so, it was still at that time, I was more in a people pleasing, like to please my mom or to please, I thought maybe, you know, if I, if I worked and I was achieved so many things that maybe she would spend more time with me, because I thought, you know, my parents didn't care about me enough to spend time with me and all that. So, it took me a long, many years to unravel all of that. But yeah, the bottom line in those jobs, either way, if you're a lawyer or you're a funeral director, you're helping people either way. They're both service-oriented careers that seek to improve the lives of others. And just like any career, there are good players and there's bad players. And at that time, I had heard that there was a lot of bad lawyers and I didn't, I didn't want, I wanted to break that stigma. There still wasn't a lot of female, you know, now 10, 20 years later, you're seeing more females come out and advertise and sort of thing. But, you know, for the most part, the workforce in the valley or in the entire state of Texas has been very male dominated. So, that's a big reason why my family had always pushed for me to be my own boss. So, they would make it a way that is safer in a sense, because, you know, one of the things that you experience, unfortunately, as a young female breaking in in any type of business, there's always a risk of like safety, you know, there's all kinds of things you got to look, watch your back all the time, depending on the hours of the job, the location of the job, all kinds of stuff. And so, you know, I did play it safe and as far as starting my business, but now that I've actually done it, you know, you always got to take from your previous experience and your current experience and then figure out your strategy for what's next. So, I think the- Well, let me, let me, let me stop you really quick, because you, right, we were talking about, you know, transitioning from law school and, and mortuary school or going to UT, right, but then even after UT, going to mortuary school. So, you, and then you just said, you know, you, you wanted to be your own boss, so you're your own business owner, you are a business owner. After, so that period between finishing mortuary school to where you're at today was that did you go directly into, I'm going to open up like my own funeral home? Did you, what did you do immediately after mortuary school? Yeah, so I transferred same day. I'm like, I'm not going to pay another day of rent over here. My, uh, I knew Dallas was a temporary thing. I was just there for what, for school and that was it. So same day, kind of like Austin, same day I graduated, I already had my, my car packed up and I transferred my apprenticeship to the Valley. So I moved back to my mom's house in Westlaco and, and I, I finished my apprenticeship. I take my, as I graduated in May, I got my directing and bombing licenses in October. So that those few months I was, um, working in my apprenticeship and taking my board exams. So still a bit studious, but not as much structure, but I still had that, that time management issue. Even again, after I moved back to the Valley, I think with any dramatic transition in life, I mean, you're going to have a rough patch, you know, just, it takes a while to get used to a new routine. And so, uh, you got to give yourself some grace. I want to say back at that time, I was very hard on myself. Um, I guess so you could call it perfectionism or, you know, very self-conscious. Um, but as I grew older, I, I started, you know, mastering that skill and being able to shape it more. Um, as far as I, when did I actually make the decision to ditch the, the idea as a lawyer and go full time into the lot to mortuary school? Was that first semester at, uh, UT Austin, where I got on academic probation, I just, I just had it feeling out. There's no way I'm going to make it. I got to figure out something else. So since that idea I thought about in high school at age 14, here I was almost five years later at the age 18, 19, uh, I decided to look up the mortuary school. And so there's all different kinds. There's, um, but in a nutshell, it's not possible to be an embalmer and not a funeral director in the state of Texas. So I knew I wasn't going to get, I was going to become an embalmer. And so that automatically meant I was going to be a funeral director as well. And, uh, when I, when I knew it was meant, meant to be, it was when I checked the dates because I graduated Friday, Saturday, move Sunday, and then start mortuary program Monday. And I had seen those dates two or three years in advance. We know these schools create their calendars real in advance. And so when I saw that, it was a totally different, I didn't feel that resistance or any doubt or anything. I'm just like, Oh, that's made, that's meant to be, you know, and so I think also it helped us that in, as I was growing older to, um, getting to know, uh, growing my faith stronger and stronger and getting in contact with my instinct and, you know, you, you just, when you're out on your own, uh, no strings attached, no family, no structure, you're just totally out on your own. You really get to know yourself. And, um, I think that is what ultimately helped a narrow down exactly what I need to do. Uh, it, it all goes back. And even when I was started, when I was deciding my major to go to UT, I took so many personality tests. I took so many things. I was trying to just make the best decision possible. And, uh, and so I've done my best, but ultimately even now, you're still going to feel like there's something more. So like to answer your question, I moved back, I got my license and I thought that I was going to start my funeral home right away. I thought I was just going to go to the bank, get financing and I have a good credit score, you know, whatever. Uh, no, there's more factors besides the credit score. There's a business credit score is completely different than a personal credit score. Your age does matter. Um, you know, so it was just, uh, a lot of unforeseen things. Like I said, you, you have a plan, but then you got to, you know, pivot as I say, and, uh, so that's what I did. Like in Austin, you know, I got bad grades, so I pivoted and, you know, switched my, my strategy and then I just, to become the same goal in mind, being my own business owner, my own boss and own business, but I, I switched, uh, themes or you could say, um, ironically, it is still very related. Beano directors and lawyers do work close together quite a bit. Um, but yeah, I mean, just because you have, you know, let's say you want to be a nurse or a doctor, you know, there's a lot you could consider being, there's a lot of jobs that have overlap, you know, counselors within the hospital or even like counselors within the school or, you know, there's, you just got to, you know, trial and error too. You might think, like I, I didn't realize how boring the courtroom is for me. I think the courtroom is so boring. For me to even think like, oh, I wanted to be this like multi-billion-dollar corporate lawyer and then it comes to reading. Like then it turns out that I hate doing paperwork and laws, lawyers is all about legal jargon and paperwork. So that was not, not going to be a good fit for me. And then, you know, I'm very outdoorsy. I like to know if it's raining or not. You know, if you're in the courtroom and no windows most of the time, you're trapped in there at the mercy of the judge and, and, uh, nah, I just, I just realized it just wasn't for me. Ariel, you, um, thank you for all of that, but you, you mentioned something really interesting. You said you came back and you thought, okay, I'm going to get my license and I'm going to open my own funeral home and I'm going to go to the bank and I'm going to get financing. And, uh, it, right, doesn't work that way. I, um, I still teach. I still teach part-time at the university. So I work with students helping them figure out what they want to do. And so this morning I had class and I had a number of students that said, I want to start my own business. I want to start my own business. I want to be my own boss. I want to be my own boss. So I think most of them have no idea what that entails. So, so what, just very briefly, what advice would you give somebody who's, who says they want to start their own business? Okay. So depending on what type of business it is, the location does matter. Um, and I'll tell you why, because when you start a business, you know, it all boils down to the paperwork, the consistency, the address. I mean, if you anticipate changing addresses every six months, uh, that's probably not ideal. You know, like you need to have a permanent address, uh, where all your paperwork is going to go. Um, so you could stay organized. And ironically, I know, you know, we're, we're in the, a modern age now where we try not to print, you know, maybe green and friendly or whatever. But in the business world, there is still a lot of paper trails and, and some things that have not been updated. So you got to be flexible. Um, but yeah, I want to, so believe it or not, as, as long as much as I wanted to be my own boss, I knew it was going to do, I was going to do that. I never had a logo. It wasn't until I got a logo and a color scheme. Um, I, I got that going after I had filed the LLC and all of that. Um, but that's when I got started getting more confidence, like to start posting, uh, online and, and putting it out there that I was open for business because before I had a logo, I didn't. I just felt like I wasn't, I wasn't ready. But once you get that logo, you have that confidence where you're like, okay, now you can see that logo being put on a shirt, put on cat, on merchandise here and there and people take you more serious. You know, they're, they're, you know, take you more, uh, they, I said more serious, like, oh, wow, this is actually happening. There's a lot of people that, uh, you can tell them, yeah, I'm going to open a funeral home, but they're not going to believe you until they're, they're not going to understand until they see it. And so, so what's, so tell us about, so what, tell us about your, your funeral home. So what happened there? Yeah. So I, I am, I try to get funds. This is in 2018. I moved back in 2015. I decide I'm not going to, I'm not ready to be on call 24 hours. And if people die, not just eight to five people died 24 hours a day. And I wasn't ready to, for all that responsibility yet at the age of 23. So I led a couple of years past. I started, got a couple of different jobs. Like I said, conference service manager at the island, then, and I got an opportunity at the morgue over here in Edinburgh, the forensic center. So that I decided to take that pulled me back onto my closer to my, you know, goal within death care. Like, well, let me learn about the investigative side. And I knew it was going to be temporary too, until I started working for Hidalgo County. So it's interesting because the funeral home and the court draw both have to do with the death certificate. That's what the whole point is of having a funeral home. You need that death certificate to close accounts, to take care of a lot of stuff. And so accuracy is very important in, in both the funeral service and the court job. There's, like I said, there's a lot of careers that, you know, they overlap a lot. So it's about getting to know yourself, figuring out what you're good at, what you do like, what you don't like. And then, you know, the things that you are good at, focus on those and things that you're bad at, find somebody that can help you. So that's just how I've done it. But yeah, I mean, I also figured too, you know, I could always change my mind now and go to law school, you know, in the future, you know, just because you give up on a goal or you postpone it, you know, doesn't mean that it's, it's never going to happen. It's just that, you know, your life is, you know, think of it like a pie chart, you know, there's, you know, you have, or like the 24 hours in your day, you know, you got to seek balance because you're just working, working, working, working, working, you know, you're not going to have time. But if you, then if you're not working, then you're not going to have money. So it's hard, it's tough. But when you figure out, you get to know yourself and, and you'll figure out, you know, what, what is it that you prefer and what you might think, oh, I want to be my own boss, but then you struggle with routine. So that's tough. It's, it's just, everybody's different, you know, everybody's different. So 23 year old Ariel wasn't ready to start her own funeral home, more serious. When, when do you think you were ready? Because by the way, you also, you also, you look really young. So I'm not trying to like age you or anything like that. But they weren't ready at 23. When do you, when were you ready? So after you became a mom? Yes. So I had a couple of jobs and then my grandma and my mom were pressuring me to have a child become a mom because they were getting older. And so I was like, okay, and got it done without getting married. And that changed my perspective on a lot of things because I had a near-death experience during delivery. And I'd say after that, so I had a uterine ruptured, basically they take the baby out. I went from having a wanting it planning for a drug-free water birth to having a C-section in the hospital back to you could plan your plan versus God's plan. And you know, you learn how to be flexible like that. And so anyway, I had my daughter and I had an out-of-body experience. Like I saw, I swear, like my body, I was floating in the corner of my room and looking down at my body. I went with all the nurses and the doctor working on my, and then it was just like one second in the next. I was back in my body and next thing I know, I am in a different room and they're giving me transfusions. Oh, luckily, you know, everything, you know, luckily we survived. But I mean, after something like that happens to you, you do, you're different. You're just, you're just very different. And I, like I said, I never planned on or imagined leaving the hospital without my daughter. I was there five days, she was there eight days. You know, it was just totally, I mean, once you're a plan, plans like that get, get disheveled, then you really learn to just take everything one day at a time, one day at a time. And so that's what I had to do. And you know, I, at that time, I was still working for Hidalgo County. But like I said, I was getting to know myself at the same time. So in the beginning, but I became a mom, I start realizing, you know, I'd start freaking out thinking like, what is going on in my body? You know, I've never gone through this before. And then I just start realizing that there is no hardly any resources for women or, you know, experiencing those kinds of things or guidance, those are things that they don't, they don't teach you in school growing up, you know, and it's just like, I can't believe this. It was just such a shock to me. And I didn't have an older sister, cousin, or anything to, to ask. So I was just, I felt kind of lost in the process. And I think being that I was already working in public service as a court clerk, and then having that experience as a funeral director, I didn't realize how many babies die until I became a funeral director. And so once I started putting all the facts together, and then having lived through it, then I realized, okay, this is what society means. This is, this is how I can really help people. This, you know, and so that's why I ended up starting postpartum purpose. Because I've also to break the stigmas, I remember when I was pregnant, a lot of people would tell me, especially my mom, like, you better do whatever you're gonna do before you have kids, because once you have a kid, your life is over. And it's just simply not true. You know, I, they may seem like, oh, your life is over, like it's a bad thing. And that's not true. Your life is not over. Your life is just like I said earlier, you got to pivot. It changes, you know, you can't let having a child stop you from your goals. You got to figure out a way to make it work. So, Ariel, let me, let me, let me stop you really quick. And I apologize for stopping you because I think if you're everything you're giving us, right, is incredibly rich, and your story is so powerful. Because it sounds like this moment, right, giving birth, but also having this near death experience, watching, you know, this out of body experience, watching yourself. And then you're experienced after, right, and the feelings you were having. And so it sounds like at the same time, and please correct me if I'm wrong, you're now you're ready to begin your journey owning your own funeral home, but also this nonprofit journey, because emotionally, spiritually, physically, right, that there was, there was nothing for you, and maybe for others like you going through this. And so both are happening at the same time. Is that true? Is that correct? Yes, that is true. I mean, part of the reason why I decided to become a funeral director and in Balmer was because I wasn't having a good work life balance. So I was, you know, planning on having a child and being present. I didn't want to have to I've made the decision to not hire any babysitters, or, you know, I mean, for special occasions, yeah, but not on the right, not a live in babysitter the way I had growing up because my mom worked so many hours. And so all of that definitely did impact me. But yeah, that near death experience was really something. And, you know, that's when you realize how precious life really is. You know, I, I could go as far as saying, I had many near death experiences with the type of risks I've taken in my lifetime and traveling and experimenting and just, you know, living in pure bliss, you know, they say innocent or what is it? I don't know what the quote is about bliss, but you know, I was just living up and, and, but then when you become a mom, then you realize like you have a different perspective of the world and you're more aware. I think that's what it is, is that once you become a mom, then you're more aware of the dangers. And, and just, you know, after becoming a mom and realizing everything a mother goes through in just having the baby inside your stomach and that whole sacrifice, all those nine months and even the time after. And, you know, it doesn't, I always tell women, you know, it's really hard especially if you've been an active person, you're used to having a certain physique and a certain look to you and then all of a sudden you're humongous and then your body just doesn't shrink back. I remember being in denial about maternity clothes. I was our, I didn't start wearing maternity pants till I was about five or six months pregnant because I was like, oh, I have big t-shirts, like no, no big deal. Like it's just my stomach. No, like I, I remember when I finally bought them, I was so relieved. Like, oh my gosh, I should have done this a long time ago. And that's so silly, you know, I mean, it was no secret. That wasn't like hiding my pregnancy or anything. I just, you know, there's a lot of things that it's not until you live through them that you really, really understand. And so I think back into the culture aspect of this whole dynamic of my career, the Valley has a reputation or had for the longest time of, you know, people taking advantage of the system, like, oh, they're just going to have a bunch of kids so they can be on food stamps or, you know, stuff like that. And there's all these negative connotations about having a family or large family. But in all reality, it's like, hey, if you're able to have eight kids, you know, eight successful pregnancies, that is amazing. Like that is incredible genetics, incredible skills in, in raising a family and feeding everybody and taking care of yourself. I mean, it's when you're raising, going through a pregnancy and, and raising a child, being in charge of another living being, you know, it's a whole, it's a whole other perspective versus just taking care of you. I mean, me in my one bedroom apartment in college, where I just have to clean after myself versus now, you know, I had my toddler running around and now it's just not picking up after me. It was me, her dad, and her, and his other kid from another baby mama. And that's a whole other story. But yeah, I mean, I couldn't have never imagined going through any of those things, planning it. There's, there's just, you know, I'd say life is like a 50-50. You could only plan so much and then it does take you in certain directions. So you've got to be flexible and, and no, it's not always going to go your way. You know, it's not always going to be the way you want it to be. But that doesn't mean give up. It just means pivot. Yeah. Well, and it's like you said, right? There's your plan and then there's God's plan. Yeah. Yeah. And it sounds like, you know, here you are, you are somebody that has been incredibly driven on goal-oriented. And, and, you know, you've set out to do something, you're going to go and do it. But you've also, like you said, you know, life is stone challenges your way. You, you've clearly had to pivot a number of times today, to be aerial. Where, what is, where are you at with your business and where are you at with your nonprofit? Yes. So I have two LLCs and one nonprofit. The most, the first LLC I have is Funeral Ari or Fudal Adi. Adi for Adiel, my name in Spanish. And this month is actually going to be one year anniversary that I passed inspection and got my funeral establishment license. So I got Feral Directing and Involving is one certification, a different license than the establishment license. So I have all three under my name. And ultimately, like I said, when I, when I couldn't seek or I couldn't re, I wasn't eligible or qualified to get funding, I pivoted and I ended up converting my house into a funeral home, just to collect those, that data. Because when you're seeking financing, they want to know at least one to three years or one to five years of history. But if you're a startup, there's no way you're going to have that data. And they're going to ask you to project it and estimate it. But I have such a high level of ethics and morals that I feel comfortable just fluffing up and making something up. I'm like, no, I'm going to do what they call bootstrapping and top it out at least the six months and do my projections based off of that data. That's what I was thinking at the time. But now that I've already gone through the six months, now I'm really realizing, you know, the importance of the location. So licensing and inspection is one thing, but starting a business is one thing. But keeping a business going and making it profitable and successful as a whole other thing, you know, each goal needs a different strategy. You can have to keep on pivoting to make it continue moving forward. Because, you know, sometimes you might think a certain idea is going to work and then it doesn't work. You've got to make, you know, make a little adjustment and then keep on going on. And so that's right now. So I have one case in my first year, which I thought I was going to have more than that. But after that first case I had, I made the decision to put everything on pause with that business until I'm able to create a team and upgrade my equipment. Because I was prepared, but I again, in the funeral business, you never know what kind of client you're going to have. So I thought I was maybe going to have a baby or a frail old person and I ended up having one of the most complicated cases in my entire life. It was a homicide with multiple gunshot wounds, a full autopsy. You're talking like the difference between a one hour job versus a four hour job and having a call for extra help and realizing the risk, you know, when you're a solo pernure, there's not just risk financially, but physically, you know, lifting bodies and and all of that. So I mean, those are details they don't tell you over the phone. They're, it's usually, are you available? Yes or no? Okay, send me the address and you're there. They don't tell you, hey, this person's 500 pounds, you might want to bring a different stretcher, you might want to bring extra help. And so that's one thing that I am moving forward as I create my team. So when I got my master's in 2022, I also got a certificate in training and development. And I am creating a program for individuals in funeral service to, to learn about, you know, those skills, the bedside manner, a lot of things that, you know, you're not going to learn, you're not going to even imagine until you start the job. And so yeah, I think it's been a tough, a tough thing for me to realize I only one person at one funeral home, you know, versus if I'm able to train people and train others to adopt my type of philosophy, that will be the way I'll be able to really make an impact in the lives of others, not just me, but me training other people. And so then they could, you know, also train other people. But there's only some that's the hardest thing, as a business owner, is knowing what to do, but not having it, all the skills are like all the things you need, you know, for example, there's families that called me that they want a chapel with a capacity of 75 to 100 people, and mine is only for 10. And so that's an automatic, you know, I had to already turn five to seven families away or talking about could have been $70,000 or more, I would have already had my equipment by then, but you know, so, you know, things just, you know, that doesn't mean I'm giving up on it just knows, it just means like, you reflect and collect the data and then use that data to get better. And so out. So now my strategy is going to be refocusing more on the postpartum purpose nonprofit organization. I just attended a seminar the other day with Hidalgo County about fundraising. Apparently, there's still money left from COVID 2019, 2020, 2021 funds that need to be spent by, I don't know, when a couple of years 2030 in our region. So since I quit my full time job, and I started researching and learning more about how to access money for funding for LLCs versus and also that's the interesting thing is that LLCs qualify for certain types of funding, then nonprofits qualify for certain types of funding. So you just got to always see what is available and accessible, you know, within your range of oh, like LLCs can't do this, nonprofits can do that and just figuring out so it's it's a dance, I suppose, I'm learning as I go. But I am looking at the root of it all the nonprofit, the LLC, you know, being a mom, it's all boils down to what I studied communication and connecting with others and helping others become better as you help others, you help yourself and we make the world a better place. Ariel, thank you. And, you know, it sounds like like Trudiform, right? I think throughout the our conversation you've talked about again, your plan versus God's plan and I appreciate that message because I think, I think when we're young, we think that every, you know, and the idea behind the podcast was to challenge the idea that life is a straight line and that we're not going to experience challenges or setbacks and really, sometimes that's where we do some of the art where we learn the most where we grow the most is during those moments. But we also learn how as you know, as you said, to pivot and to adapt. And it sounds like you are throughout this journey, you've learned more about yourself. You have found this real sense of purpose, like through your nonprofit, through your own experiences and that you continue to grow as a business owner. And it sounds like you're in a season where you're, you know, pivoting, but also refocusing your attention on this nonprofit that is in incredibly important to you. So one congratulations. I wish you tremendous success in all of them for all of your ventures. And so I look forward to seeing how everything works out. But as we go before we leave, because I always ask my guests, what last piece of advice do you want to leave for our listeners and viewers out there? Okay, people are always going to test your limits, but only you know how much you can handle. And that can be applied to anything, any relationship, any work environment. And that's where we think. So one last thing I will say is, yeah, be flexible, like I've said throughout the whole conversation, but also know your limits, know the difference between what's a healthy work environment, learn the importance of when you feel healthy versus when you don't feel healthy, you know, and always pick, you're gonna always operate the best when you're the healthiest, when you've slept the most, when you've, you know, you've eaten correctly. And don't push yourself so right. There are jobs out there that they'll give you all the hours in the world. But if you're not feeling good, I mean, you're gonna cut your life short, you know, at what expense, you know, you got to really look at, at the full, full picture. But yeah, and don't be afraid to stand up. So in real quick, before I quit my full time job to pursue being an entrepreneur full time, what happened was that my boss died, Judge Morales, and I could not work in that environment anymore. I that put me on a eight year plan, instead of a 10 year plan, I thought I was going to work 10 years, but I couldn't handle it anymore. So what did I do? I pivoted and I got myself out of the toxic environment, and now recreating my own environment the way I've always wanted. So I would never predict that my boss was gonna die. I was, I didn't even realize how close I was until after he died. But you feel that grief in your body and that experiencing that grief versus guiding somebody else through that grief, as I had done as a funeral director, it's two totally different things, experiencing a loss versus guiding somebody else through their losses so different. So losing him was a big eye opener and put me back on my goals. I knew that I was always an open to funeral home, but I just didn't know the exact timing of it. But here we are. Made it happen. Age 33. Well, it sounds like it's been quite a journey. And like I said, I look forward to following you and again, I wish you all the best. Thank you again for taking the time to join us today and for sharing and being so open and honest, I think about your journey. I always appreciate that for my guests because I know it's not always easy for people to do. So I greatly appreciate it and I know others will as well. This concludes another episode of the Way to College podcast. Thank you to my guests and thank you to our listeners and viewers out there. Please remember to share, subscribe, rate, follow all of that stuff you're supposed to do. Please share the podcast with one other person. I'd appreciate it. Thank you and we'll see you again soon. Bye bye. Thank you and take care.