Cinephobe Ep 308: The Honeymooners

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Nectar prices require Nectar account. Sainsbury's.co.uk slash AldiPriceMatch and Nectar.com slash Price's Terms. Did you ever hear about the selfie that solved a murder, or the jury that used a Ouija board to speak to a victim? If that made you pause, you need to listen to Morning Cup of Murder. I'm Karina B. Mr. Furfer, and every single day on Morning Cup of Murder, I tell one chilling true crime story tied to that exact day in history. With over 2,500 episodes to binge, you'll never run out of dark stories to start your morning with. Go listen to Morning Cup of Murder wherever you get your podcasts. And remember, stay safe. You don't understand. I'm pooping my pants. Risk. True stories. No holding back. During my time in prison, I discovered a podcast called Risk. That podcast saved my life so many times. People say risk makes them feel less alone and more alive. Live your authentic truth. Because you never know who may come to your funeral and turn that bitch out. Risk wherever you get your podcasts. This podcast contains mature content, explicit language, suggestive situations, and partial to full frontal nudity. Listener discretion is advised. Don't let your kids listen to this. Here is their new update press release. Fresh look, but works just the same. Launching a new design and logo. This is a celebration of all the improvements that have come to the platform in the last year, 55 in total. There have been a lot. You'll notice a more vibrant palette, simpler font, softer design, and a fresh look for puddles are Streamyard Duck. No. Puddles is the Oregon Duck's name. Really? There. That's the mascot is Puddles. Wait, no. You're telling me that Luca Ferrari. Unless he fucking acquired Oregon University. Watch your fucking back, Phil Knight. Your ass is grass. Who do you think has more money? Phil Knight or Luca Ferrari? Explain what you think buddy is. It's the line for this movie. It's like, yo, he started with $5,000 and now he's 2 million, 3 million and that. Gold dubster. Why have my ass off of that? Might have been the only time I laughed in this movie. Now you've seen how bad things can get and how quick they can get that quick. Well, they can get a whole lot worse. So we're not going to fight anymore. You think this dude's going to take Ed down? MBV is going to blow Ed out of the water. He's the most valuable primate. I'm sorry, misogynist. Men are hoes too. You've said hoes 58 times in this episode and I'm the misogynist. What? You won't believe a woman. You guys have notes about 9-11 for this movie? How do you not? Yappapuck this, yappapuck that, yas yas yas, all night long, fucking yas yas yas. It was in my dream. That's not how I feel. It is how you feel. It was in your dream. Someone must like to be prepared. How are you not taking accountability for your mind? Because I know I'm lying. Like, I know for a fact I'm lying. You sick little bitch. It was awful. It was incredibly boring. It was long. It was stupid. It was horribly written. Acting was terrible. It was a huge piece of shit. You're a fraud. It's a folk. For everybody to just be very respectful. But he's dead now, right? So we can't make fun of him? Is he dead? No, if he's dead we can make fun of him. He's still sick. We can't. Hold on. If he's dead we can make fun of him. Yeah. I don't think we can. Whenever I hear numbers, my head converts him and the chest moves or seats at the gauze. I don't know what happened to you, man. You used to be cool and then you got blarded. You tried to peg AIDS on me in the T-Rex episode? That's my fault for not remembering what century I was in, bitch. It's been a good run. Thanks for playing. See you at the eulogy. You want the punani? I don't require Ed to have a condom because I trust him. Anthony, you're going to be busy today, huh? Yeah, it's nothing new, chef. Hosts! I am an alcohol segregationist. That thing's going to move up like R. Kelly. Look at all the old ladies around the world. I love you. You got horses. What you need are thorns. Sometimes my emotions are just roaring like a T-Rex. That's a lot of pussy. I'm not in here with you. You're in here with me. Welcome to Cinefo. The podcast we break down the movies you're afraid to make you love. I'm Zach Harper. That's Amino Hassan. That's Anthony Mays. Fuck Ice. How about that? I don't care where you listen to these episodes. Listen to wherever you want. Spotify is where you can vote in the polls. I'm not going to vote in the polls. I'm not going to vote in the polls. I'm not going to vote in the polls. I'm not going to vote in the polls. I'm not going to vote in the polls. I'm not going to vote in the polls. Where you can vote in the poll, like the poll for Tommy Boy, and the people came out, or most votes in quite a while, say 20.2% fobe, 79.8% file. Speaking of fuck ice, shout out to Anthony Mays, the only person in about a week of me wearing this hoodie that figured out I was wearing a fuck ice hoodie. Oh. Salute you. I don't even know what hoodie. Nobody. Were you wearing it in New Orleans? Yeah, he saw it. The first thing he said, he picked up on it immediately. I don't even know what's on it. Well, that's because you're not very perceptive, Zach. You don't care. Well, no, because I was watching you pretend that we didn't know you were drunk immediately. I wasn't drunk immediately. Who said that? You showed up drunk. Wow. And you were like, no one knew I was drunk. Wow. We all knew. Because we saw that dumb ass look on your face that you get. Spotify's where you can leave a comment, like C-Mike807, who said, I just want to remind everyone that a mean likes Larry, the Cable Guy movies. Hey, I just want to remind everyone that I can quote Zach Harper as well. Now who doesn't like the listeners? I'm just saying. It's Mr. Louise commented. Amin is the bitch podcaster. Whoa. Whoa. He hasn't heard the Hall of Fame episode yet. I don't go for that. D35HVIN commented, I was in the market for a wet Sudanese blanket, and I found what I'm looking for. Thanks, Amin. Kind of felt racist. That's, yeah. First of all, yeah, it doesn't add anything to it. Right? Just saying wet blanket. Yeah. Yeah. You got to say wet blanket. It's the same joke. Adding Sudanese. Yeah. That makes it a little problematic. And your boy reflex commented, Aminie, no likey this movie. I hate that. I blame his college friends for his hatred of this movie. That I agree with. That's a good comment. That's original. Not any of this regurgitated Zach Harper fucking talking points. I don't talk like that. I know. That's why that one was funny. Dylan, Dylan, Dylan commented, I love you, Amin, but you have a gigantic poll, not a stick up your ass on this one. Is it Dylan or is it Dylon? Or is it Pierre? Poll up your ass. He's not Polish. I said poll. Neither are you. Leave a review. Leave a comment. Make sure you're checking out CT five episodes on the main feed. Leave your CT five suggestions and lists on social media or in the discord by subscribing to patreon.com slash count the dings which you get access to add free episodes, extended cold opens, rewatching live events past, present, future, watching 10 events of here's the science bar rescue episodes before we do the here's the science podcast episodes, episodes come out early, even Hall of Fame episodes where you don't know. Oh, is this the real episode this week? If it drops on Thursday, real episode, it's a good rule of thumb and all of our extra content across the entire count the dings network. If it was submission, submit it reminder needs to be 40% or lower on the rotten tomatoes, audience or critic score boys wrote some stuff. Nice. Oh, you wrote stuff. You had some time updated the whole thing, the whole stick about this. Okay. We started this new century with crossover for episode 300 Pluto TV saw our friend literally couldn't add 125 plus 35 plus whatever headband costs and said, Hey man, you should check out these smart kids and senseless. Then Pluto TV saw us inject drugs into our ass to enhance our senses. And hence we could have a third act of recycling the same jokes we always do and said, Hey man, you must like David's Bay movies. So here's Dickie Roberts, former child star. Then Pluto TV saw us try to learn how to have a childhood. We're going to pass up on the opportunity and listen to a lot. Oh, so we could try to bang out our adopted stepmom and said, Hey man, you must really like David's made movies. You should watch Tommy boy. Then Pluto TV saw us try to impress our dad and save the family business by learning how to sell guarantees up a bull's ass as a mean openly tried to ruin the episode and said, Hey man, you probably stick in David's Bay movies. So you should watch Ashton Kutcher and my boss's daughter. Then Pluto TV saw us house sitting because Terry Reed thought we were gay. And let some guy named Spike threatening to whip it out until Michael Batson pissed all over hospitality and said, Hey man, let's see Ted dance and whip out that ponytail and getting even with dad. Then Pluto TV saw us steal some coins with our ponytail and be blackmailed by our kid to actually be a father. When all we should be thinking about is how to get an A Dean back because look at that picture and said, Hey man, let's watch Walter Mouth house hang dog face and the odd couple too. Hang dog dog. Okay. Then Pluto TV saw us try to pick up some road twitch in our 1996 boxers and get arrested time and time again for shit we didn't do just so we could move in with our friend. We don't really like and said, Hey man, fuck your algorithm right now. You should watch Mac and Devon go to high school. Then Pluto TV saw I don't know what the fuck it was a music video about weed as a 30 year old tried to groom a high school kid with hidden tattoos and said, Hey man, speaking of taking the bus, how about you watch the honeymooners? That brings us to the 2005 slapstick comedy family romance, the honeymooners. Well done. Well done. That was really good. Or should I say, Hey man, well done. Comedy, just comedy. Huh? That's it. All right. The honeymooners stars Cedric, the entertainer, Mike Epps and Gabrielle Union. Yep. Cedric is a repeat offender for street kings. I wish I knew how to quit you. He had Johnson family vacation in 2004, be cool Madagascar in this movie in 2005 and street kings in 2008. Cedric, the entertainer starts as said, aka the bitch friend. I think in this movie is just Cedric. Not a whole lot of entertainment. Never called them anything more than just said. I wanted to ask for the bitch friend based on the original Kings of comedy in 2000 with him, Steve Harvey, DL Hugley and Bernie Mac. Who do you think got the biggest career boost off of that film? Boost? Oh, this is an interesting question. I'm going to say Bernie Mac because at the time those other guys were mainstream comedians, but Bernie Mac was always like, that's the underground one. He's the funny one. That's why he's closer, but he's the one that Hollywood will never accept. And then he got the show based off of that standup. He got the show Greenlit on Fox and that got him Mr. 3000 and that got Zach Harper, a copy of Mr. 3000 from a woman that knows what he likes very much. All right. Who do you think had the best longevity career? Like obviously Bernie Mac passed away. Not him. Steve Harvey. Yeah. Steve Harvey. Yeah. I was thinking, I think it's Harvey. Yeah. He's still relevant at this point. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. Then let me ask this. Who is more relevant today? Is it Cedric, the entertainer or DL Hugley? Seth still has network TV shows, man. Like the neighborhood. Oh, he has the neighborhood one. Yeah. Yeah. You're right. That dude is still working. Yeah. DL took the, I'm going to be more of a political guy, not even political comedy, just straight up Keith Oberman style, straight politics and news and shit. DL was always my favorite among the living ones. Born Steve Harvey? Always. Always. Not a family feud, man. I know. I think your family feud is fine. What about the Steve Harvey show? Steve Harvey show was good. I love the Steve Harvey show, but I thought DL was funnier than those guys. Bernie obviously was the funniest of them. Yeah. Bernie by far the funniest. But I don't know, man. I guess the guy just had different aspirations as far as what he wanted his career to be about. I think Cedric, the entertainer is the biggest loser of the four. Boy, I watched this movie and thought, is Cedric, the entertainer just not funny? Well, here's the thing. He was the least funny of the four in the moment. Sure. So maybe to answer Mages question, the others were always going to be destined for some sort of success. Yeah. One way or another. Whereas Ced, so his boost might have been out of mediocrity or whatever. Yeah. Is it tougher to go from a fringe player to a good role player or from a role player to an all star? Good question. Mike Epps is a repeat defender for Mac and Devin, Madame Wuerb and How High. I wish I knew how to quit you. He had Resident Evil Apocalypse in 2004. Yeah. Guess who? Roll Bounce and this movie in 2005 and something new in 2006. So Mike Epps stars as Epps, AKA comedy, but also Mike Epps stars as I will never say no to a role. This dude works, man. That dude works. He's in a second Resident Evil movie as well. I've only seen the first one, but there's a bunch of them. They qualify. Yeah, they sure do. Gabby is a repeat defender for Bad Boys 2. I wish I knew how to quit you. Gabby stars as Gabby. As Mrs. Wayne. There may be another name that shows up, but Gabby for most of the movie. She's got a bunch of movies that try to tell a story. Two can play that gamey piece of shit, deliver us from Eva, cradle to the grave and breaking all the rules. She didn't grow up in a very black community. She grew up in Nebraska, right? And got her big break and she's all that, which is not a black mo- Bring it on was both around the same time, but not the Chitlin circuit, right? Then to have a pretty strong, what? Chitlin circuit. Well, I mean, that's what they call it. Who? Really strong block of just Chitlin circuit movies. Are you uncomfortable with the word? I mean, she's had a very long career. Yes. She's always in stuff, but not overexposed, I guess. If you saw the beginning of her career, you would be like, oh, this is going to be the black actor actress who's in a bunch of mainstream comedies. Donald Faison. Donald Faison. Actually, that's a great example. I thought she could be like that. And instead she did all of these Chitlin circuit movies. Regina Hall. I don't like that. Is a repeat offender for a scary movie three and law abiding citizen. I wish I knew how to quit you. That's right. She was Jamie Foxx's wife. And he's like, well, it's on the tape. That awful father and husband. You know what? I like the name Trixie so much that I just called her Trixie. Yeah, I feel like that's a great name. We don't have that name. Eric Stoltz. Repeat offender for Anaconda. Marty McFly. McFly is what I call him. John Polito. Repeat offender for blank man. I immediately just called him Sylvia. Love me. Cohen Brothers All Star, man. Miller's Crossing, Barton Fink, Big Lebowski, man. It wasn't there. John Leguizamo. Now a member of the Five Timers Club with the pest, collateral damage, the fan and out for justice. I just called him the pest. I wish I knew how to quit you. The pest, the pest, the Stario Vargas. Oh, both of you guys. He's Aithen Dodge. I did when they introduced his name. Aithen. He just started acting like the pest and I was like, I'm sorry. All right then, Dodge. All right then. AJ Naidu from Office Space. No, he's not a Joe. No, he's not a Joe. It's not that hard. And a repeat offender for scary movie three. I called him Office Space, AKA Vivek Rana Diva because it wouldn't say no. No. No. One of my nods. That's it. Nope. Sure. Don't his names. Vivek Chewie Bravo. Repeat offender for tip toes. Yeah. I didn't see him, but I had him in the cast. Alice Drummond from Ghostbusters and Ace Ventura Pet Detective. Finkles mom. Right? Yeah. Ray Finkles mom. I turned into Pluto TV at that point. Like, I man. I ran for Ghostbusters. Lenny Veneto. Repeat offender from Gili. Dana Lee. Repeat offender from Rambo First Blood Part Two. I wish I knew how to quit you. That's a man that buys the tray. Paka Hashi and Kirby enthusiasm. Oh, there you go. The Asian guy in this movie. Well, which one? Nope. Nope. Nope. Kim Chan owner of the diner, but I called him Q John Wang's father from Shanghai nights. Also have Kevin Corrigan, aka Henry Hills little brother from Goodfellas. Oh, yeah. Repeat offender for the departed and kiss of death. I wish I knew how to quit you. He's the bus driver. And then also Carol Woods as mama Gibson. I called her bitch mill, aka the bitch mother in law. She is from Joe's apartment and she was a singer for across the universe. I think she's mostly a singer. And then Arnell Powell was DJ Suckerslam. And I just wanted to write DJ Suckerslam in the cast. I did suck of something. Well, the honeymooners was directed by John Schultz is suck my dick.com. Oh, that made the board. I can't get enough. Oh, but that made the board. Fuck your. Oh, is suck my dick.com Hall of Famer. He sounds a lot calmer as a clip. I'm so happy. I'll go fuck how this episode goes. I'm good. We've been doing it wrong. Wrong. Play one more time is suck my dick.com. Suck my dick.com. John Schultz directed drive me crazy and like Mike also to a Christmas Prince movies. That's what he's been up to lately. We have four writing credits on this one. Oh man. Already the black. I got some trivia on that for you. I guess we'll hold that Danny Jacobson 13 episodes of Roseanne. He created two guys, a girl in a pizza place. So he's not black. And he also created mad about you. Definitely not black. David Sheffield wrote police Academy two, three, four and five coming to America. Okay. Boomerang, the nutty professor and 56 episodes of Saturday Night Live. Any relation to Gary Sheffield? Great question. I don't know. No, that's the only black Sheffield I know. He's very white. He and Barry Bloustine met at SNL and then it seems like they wrote sketches for Eddie Murphy. Yeah. And so those are all Eddie Murphy movies that they wrote with him. And then here we are now. Yeah. Brother of buddy Sheffield. Is he in relation to Gary Sheffield? Who was a writing supervisor on in living color. There it is. Well, they're both white though. Oh, yeah. Well, Gary Sheffield is half. Now if it's on and then Don Rimer, who wrote carpool, big mama's house, the Santa Claus to big mama's house to deck the halls and Ferdinand, the movie that Zach walked out of which one was a big mama's house one or two house to the only movie you've walked. I mean, you were gone for my mama told me, right? I missed it. Yeah. I did this game. I think the scenario was like the entire Epstein files get released and justice comes to all of those offenders in the files and everything is settled. Yeah. But the rest of your life, you can only have sex with one of three people. It's a character wearing a fat suit, but the three options were big mama's house, Martin Lawrence, Tyler Perry, Medea. And then the third one was Sherman clump. Now am I having sex with the actor in the fat suit? In the fat suit. So not the fat version of what they're supposed to portray. No, but also you don't get to decide which one you have sex with. It's a random in the pictures that they picked at one point. It was either Jamel or as David, they were like, all these guys look like they just found out they have to have sex with you. Martin Lawrence was like, be wilderness in the big mama's house. It was great. Get out, recommend that podcast enough synopsis for the honeymooners working class, New York bus driver, Ralph Cramden is always coming up with get rich, quick schemes for him and his best friend, Ed Norton, who's always around to help him get in and out of trouble. You think Ed Norton hated his fucking life, the real Ed Norton? I'm sure my focus is just hitting them with honeymooners. Shit all the time. Constantly. Yeah. And he was an actor. God damn tagline. Dream big scheme bigger. They did neither. They dreamed very small. Yes. And scheme even smaller. No, the dreams were big. The schemes are small. It weren't so the dreams is I want to be a millionaire. Yeah. That's not a big dream. And also that's not a dream. It's a big dream. A dream would be like, I'm going to become a pitcher for the Mets. What if I told you that it was dreaming of being a millionaire in the 50s? Does that sound a little bigger to you? Well, 1999. What is it? Wait for the trivia. $25 million estimated budget. 25 girls, 12.8 million us, 13.1 million worldwide, flop city. How much of it was to drive the bus onto the grass? Oh, I thought you were going to say catering. Before we jump into this movie, listen to the rest of this podcast, honeymooners is available on Pluto TV. I don't think of said in that way. He was doing some shit fatally in this movie. Okay. Oh, yeah. I'm open to it. But first of all, I don't think of said as a fact. It wasn't Kevin James level. Of course not. Was it just too early? Because of what, five years later, they were to try to make this movie with white people and Kevin James. Yeah. You know what? If Kevin James was happy, Madison, it's absolutely happy Madison production is Adam Sandler at Norton, probably Schneider. Oh, no, it would have been bad. At best we get David Spade as Norton. Oh, that would have been a good one. They couldn't get him for a full movie. No, no, no. He's happy to hang out. He's not, he's not supporting actor. Yeah. I'm not working out here, man. The honeymooners receives 13% on 109 critic reviews on rotten tomatoes, 30% from the audience on over 5,000 ratings. That's a Dairy Queen folks. It's a DQ. I mean, check the positive or the negative reviews. I'm a grayhound half hopped up on steroids kind of guy. Give me the positives. Hey, John, that's weird. That glass looks half full to me. Wow. Now that you mentioned it, it is half full. Linda Cook of KWQC TV in Iowa. Let her cook. The honeymooners is a good natured movie. That's not so much a remake as a nod to the old television series. It actually tries to stay pretty true to the source material a little bit. Yeah. There's a lot of shit in here. I'm like, yeah, that's from the honeymooners. Kamal, the Diva, Larsuel of three black chicks review. Kamal, you like this shit, man? Lady. I found the movie to be sweet and heartwarming. Come on. Give it some really, really harsh reviews in the past. But this one's sweet and heartwarming. All right. I bet I know why. Ken Hankey of Mountain Express. More of a 2005 appreciation of the series than anything else and one that is wisely tailored to its cast members who managed to make their characters charming and likeable. Hey, man, this is a black movie. That's what Ken Hankey just said. Ken Hankey, does he ever have negative reviews? I don't know that I remember him doing negative ones. He likes everything. He's like you. He's like my dad. Yeah. He's like your dad. Jeffrey Lyles of Gazette. Lyles. Feels like watching an hour and a half block of a sitcom, one half hour is really funny. Another good for a few laughs and the other one you could catch and reruns. That's kind of accurate. I think all of these plots would have worked better as a single television episode. Betty Jo Tucker of Real Talk Movie Reviews. BJ Tucker. I found the crazy schemes hatched by this new Cramden Norton duo. Very funny indeed. Very funny indeed. No, I indeed isn't there. Betty Jo Tucker. I'm looking up what she looks like. White. You already know? Yeah. Oh my God. Betty Jo's old. What the hell? I mean, this review's from 20 years ago. She's not alive. Roger Ebert of Chicago Suntimes. No, come on, the legend. A surprise and a delight. A movie that escapes the fate of weary TV retreads and creates characters that remember the originals. Yes, but also stand on their own. Wow. Wow, Raj. And then Lawrence Topman of Charlotte Observer. Top man. Topman. Hot spurs. No, not Tottenham. Top man. Oh, he's the top. The real question is whether we like these people. To my surprise, the answer is yes. Oh, whoa. Feel more. To my surprise. These people. To my surprise. Yeah. To his surprise. I could never. Well, how about that? Look, he was open minded. Negative reviews. Stop being a pessimist. This thing is not half full. It's half empty. Cole Smythe of colesmythe.com. It's not a real name. The script credited to four screenwriters uses a plethora of already dated urban inside humor that reeks of pandering. Cole Smythe. The opposite side of the coin from Tottenham Hotspur over there. David Nussaire of real film reviews. Is that real? R e a l? R e e l. Not real film reviews. There you go. Even if one were willing to overlook the fact that the Honeymooners is virtually nothing like the show that supposedly inspired it, the film would still come off as an unnaturally prolonged second rate UPN sitcom. Oh, god damn white. It's gonna be one of those days, huh? Jeff Otto of IGN movies. Why? I auto thank god. Jackie Gleason and Art Carney died before they could see this. Not wrong. Jackie Gleason made the toy. I'm sorry. He's not going to be on anyone's like, Oh, he's standard of comedy. So Scott Gwynne of Cinema Blend. Mr. The entertainer ends up channeling the Carl Winslow character from TV's family matters. Mr. The entertainer. Please. Mr. The entertainer was my father's name. Call me Sidrick. Mr. Manager. What would it tapper? I call myself. Oh, I'm John experience. I want to introduce myself to you. My name is John experience. And then lastly, Luke White Thompson of Los Angeles City Beat. Looky. If we can recast Jackie Gleason's signature role of Ralph Cramden with Cedric the Ahem. Entertainer. Why not Jim Carrey as Cliff Huckstable in the Cosby Show movie? Whoa. You know what, looky? I'm interested. You have my money before you had my curiosity. Now you've got my money. We'll get a means first note, maze first note, my first note after these messages, unless you're a patreon member, patreon.com slash counter dings, get an ad free episode right to meow. This is your latest project. It's heavy with information, data and exactly 36 pages of waffle. But with Acrobat Studio, you can create a PDF space, an AI powered workspace that turns documents into summaries and insights and even generates reports or presentations out of it. So you can cut through the waffle, work smarter and save time. Do that with Acrobat, learn more and try it out on adobe.com. I mean, what is your first note funky intro music to let all the whites know this ain't your granddaddy's honeymooners case you just said honeymooners. I'm in. Yeah, don't even know anything about it. We got to let them know. Hey man, it ain't gonna be that kind of movie. You're not getting Jackie Moon from this music maze. What is your first note as the title rises up to meet the moon? Thought to myself Idris Elba would fuck this movie up, man, or excuse me, sir Idris Elba. There you go. You just wanted to work that in. No, it's a terrible note. I had nothing. I'm gonna allow it. My first note. I remember watching the show as a kid during the summer would come on after I love Lucy in the morning. Funny comedy about threatening domestic abuse. Talk. He was constantly threatening to punch his wife. I'm gonna do the show. Do the show. Okay. Man, when you were telling the story last night, you had so much detail. The detail was so rich. It was rich detail going through incredibly descriptive details of the story. So we all know. Oh, yes. Now stop with the scenes. Here's what happened. It's autumn of 1999 in New York City. Thank you. Radio DJ's position from DJ suck a slam. Oh, no, no, suck a slam. Oh, is suck my dick.com. There it is. Is that why you put it on the board? No. Okay. What's funny is that of me and Fane's outrage, but we talked about I said I was gonna do this. I was gonna put it on the board in New Orleans. Oh, oh, don't remember. Yeah, I was too busy, you know, talking about ice with people my sweatshirt and trying to smoke a cigarette. Oh my God. Not trying. I did. I was successful. You got about two thirds of the way there at about 15 minutes. You almost did it. Holding it with your thumb and forefinger out in front of you. Yeah, you have to. You have to. That's how you smoke a cigarette. What do you go? You go index and middle finger? Yeah, let's see. No way, man. Went to a French school. That's why Frenchie McTall over there. Pardon me. What? Excuse me. Rudy Gover. It's DJ Suckerslam. Spending old school tonight inviting all of New York to forget your Y2K worries, turn up your radio and help good old Chuck Brown bus loose. Not feel like bus and loose. That whole setup is just for said to be the dancing bus driver. Oh yeah. You know what else he's doing guys? And this is a strong horseman breaking the fourth wall. Oh my God. This fucker breaks fourth wall left and right. Look at this photograph. This is the first time that I realized that this was sampled in hot in here. Oh, Anelie and actually that Chuck Brown got a writing credit on hot in here. Yeah, I didn't know he got a writing credit, but obviously I knew it was sampled. I wrote the main lyric, man. I never look at the liner. Let me look at the liner notes on the no really you never did that. No man. Listen to music. I love I hear music. You read your little oh I wonder who produced this. I did man. It was a shit. I did all that shit. I don't care that Diddy's name is all over it. I discovered that Beth and Matt's name is Clifford. I was like, who the fuck is this Clifford guy? He's all over this shit. Clifford guys everywhere. He's doing the windshield wiper dance. He does the Birdman hand rub. He hits a dab. This is a get to 90 s movie. He's talking into the mic. He's honking at the horn cue. He sees a tootsie on the street and he slams on the brakes. That's up the bus to pick her up should have gotten re-rended. We see Gabby Union. I said an all time Sean Astin. If this happens, oh man, if he pulls Gabby Union for sure, well, she's so fine and he's so fat. If he were to pull her, you'd have to do something pretty incredible. Right? Well, dance around her in circles like a bingo. She looks in pain. Can I give you a ride? She says, the way you drive us at same note to broad, he proceeds to dance around her. No chance she entertains this. Then he introduces himself. Hi, I'm Sean Astin. I mean, Ralph Cramden. No chance that she's Cedric the entertains us. That was good. He agrees to take her to Brooklyn. If it was good, you would have laughed. I didn't laugh immediately. I was trying to validate the joke. I don't need your validation, but I looked up their age gap because I was curious and it's kind of amazing to me that he's only eight years older than her. Really? I guess she's been around for a while. She's playing high schoolers when she's in her mid to late twenties. Yes, but he also looks old. Yeah. He's only in his early forties here. He's always looked old. That's the key. He's always looked old and she's always looked young. What? We just said that she played a high schooler as a damn 30 year old unlike Snoop. I'm not saying she looks like a high schooler. I'm saying she played a high schooler. I like who played a 30 year old at 60. Now he's waving his hands in her face and she's laughing. This is going on for a while. Says he's got confidence. He introduced himself. Don Aston operator of this machine gestures at the bus and this machine is the eyebrow lick thing himself. She's Alice Gibson. She wants to go to Brooklyn. He says he'll take her anywhere from Times Square. How do we know that he knows where he's going? What if he lists off every single borough in New York and neighborhood? I'll take you to the moon, Alice. Come on. It's better than threatening to beat her out of this world, which is what the Honey Motors TV show did. Maze from Nutty Professor two. Was that supposed to happen? Cut to them parked under the Brooklyn Bridge, sitting on the bus chilling. He the baby bash. We should get a shot of the world trade center any minute now. Look at this photograph. I believe they did it, but they muted the lights. She hopes he won't lose his job for this. Bus driving this temporary. He's an entrepreneur in his Y2K survival kit will make him a millionaire. Lots of fun taglines on this kit. You ain't been watching CNN. Every computer is going to shut down. He'll get you through it with a checker money order. 29.99 plus shipping and handling 20CB. She's kind of skeptical. And I said, you know what? I'm not feeling Gabby skepticism about Y2K. It's autumn 99. That shit was real, man. I cannot stress this enough to our younger listeners. I was a dumb 17 year old and I didn't believe it was real. For real? I was not worried about it at all. I was worried, man. It'll be total chaos if Ralph is lucky. Yeah. She says, I guess my dream is more practical. Oh yeah. Like what? Like exposition. My own home. Cobra formula. Nothing fancy. A little place all my own. No landlord or haggling with the super to fix the pipes or rent increases. Just her name on a deed. Guys, renting sucks. Yeah. Permanent renter. You know why person who commented permanent renter? Because they live in a real city. That's some podunk town in fucking middle America like you. I sat there and I thought to myself, how many times, how many dates have I been on where this is the kind of boring exposition I got to listen to? But you have to feign interest. Oh yeah. Oh no. I'm like, oh my God, get on with it. Just get on with what? With whatever she's saying, whatever she's talking about, like, oh, the pipes and all what the fuck about any of this? To the respect. Guys. Women. To people respecting women. Okay. I like the idea that problems end with home ownership though. That's when you're good. No problems ever again. You never have a problem after that. You don't have to pay for anything. You don't have to call a landlord. That's for sure. Because guess what? You are the fucking landlord. You have to fix this shit. Yeah. She wants to watch her kids play ball in the street. You got kids? Ass off for the look she gives them. I'm playing. I'm joking. I'm joking. They're on the verge of the new millennium. Stick with him because he's about to blow up this job. These empty pockets, this waistline gone one day. I'm going to own this town. Yells this standing on top of the bus, shouting at the Brooklyn bridge and the moon. Cut to six years later. Thank you. They're together and arguing. Is that what you think? I own this town. Instant call back. Get it? Cool. But it's six years later. Asked to talk to the super about the pipes. Oh my God. It's a call back. Double comedy. Today, the Mets are in the seventh game of the world series. Hello exposition. Sean Aston. I wonder if this is around the same time the penguins are in the seventh game of the Stanley Cup finals. Oh, that's a good question. My favorite part about the world series is that he follows it up by saying, and you know this, Alice. She does. But I'm telling you again because the camera wasn't here yet. You want me to think about plumbing? She turns on the sink. It's rattling. Okay. So it makes a little noise. But so do you. And I've learned to live with that. Got her ass banter comedy. He's in a call. Norton works in sewers, knows pipes. And by called Norton, he means lean out the window and haul her upstairs of my gaps. Why would he have to tell her that he works in the sewers? Exposition. Oh, God. Yo, Norton, what's up with the Mets? Because a guy's in New York, right? Norton drops French toast off his plate and it lands in a baby carriage. Baby crying. Baby crying. Mike puts his head back inside. Then he tries to tell Cedric or Riddle, but he gets cut off. He tries to tell him a riddle. So he comes down the fire escape into the kitchen. Is this Sankrassank as trivia? I don't think riddles are Sankrassank. Kind of gave me some crossover vibes. Me too. That's why I asked if it's Sankrassank. It's a similar dynamic, but riddles and trivia are not, yeah, not equal. A man was born 1955. Today's his 18th birthday. How's that possible, huh? 1955 is not the year he was born. It's the number of the hospital room he was born in. Damn you, smart. We get the creaking, sputtering pipes again. Regina comes in with the French toast. Drixie makes French toast. That's what the ed's not on trim spa. Trim spa. Reference. Holy shit. Yeah. That took me down a nice little rabbit hole. And in the Coal Smith was trim spa? Yep. And it turns out to be a Fedra and caffeine. Tough combo on the heart. It's not exactly helping you. No, not good. Well, it'll kill you. He wants to be used to making meth. Oh, I just finished watching Breaking Bad. Now I'm onto the Sopranos. No one talks about this. It's a great show. You suck my dick.com. Thank you. Oh, you got jokes. You just a regular sitcom, huh, Alice? You PN to come. Yeah. Ed needs to knock through the wall to give the pipes. Ralph says, just fix it. Then says he's happy for peace and quiet around here. And that's when a big hole is in the wall because that's where the pipes are. Comedy. They freak out. He's got a point. Gab reiterates talking to the landlord. Mike agrees with their much better idea. Mike does his best work down below. Drixie agrees. We get some sex banter. Gabrielle is also interested in the sex banter because she's heard. She knows the deal. Gabby says you ought to have your head examined to said and said responds. I'll get it examined anywhere. You know what they're going to find nothing. But I want to point out my nominee for the Lewis Pinnock action award is Cedric the entertainer. Cause sometimes he uses this voice right here. I'll get it examined anywhere and you know what they're going to find nothing. I wondered, does he think he's doing a Ralph Cramden Jackie Gleason in the Steve Harvey show? He plays the gym teacher. Yeah, you would use that voice when he wanted to sound official to the students. Now boys and girls. Yeah, when he's hanging out with Steve, come on, dog. He talks in his regular set voice, but according to protocol, he does that kind of voice. Not to be rude. I just didn't think, oh, well he's got a lot of range. So he'd have a lot of different ways of pulling this off. He's got two voices and this is Ralph Cramden impersonation, but he does the same thing that he does the Steve Harvey show, which is go back and forth again. Not a lot of range. He's got two speeds. He also says take the wife, leave the French toast reference, get some exposition, bet Regina and Garry. I'll work at the diner together. They keep arguing over each other nose to nose. They can't take it anymore. And then his watch alarm beeps time to go off to work. Are nose to nose arguments 20 CB? No, because it's still happening in baseball. He has a mislaunch bag. Oh, they love each other. This is every day. This is not a healthy relationship. What do you mean? I mean, Zach, hold on now. They're the honeymooners. Anyone else. Now he's driving the bus. He gets cut off by Queen Latif are trying to prove she could write the man in the Brooklyn. No, I'm being that fucking bell. Menage. No. Oh, come on, Zach. These is you two diddling each other. I'm not in there. Whoa. For once. Indian guy from office space gets on the bus. His name is Vivek Rana. He points at Cedric. The Mets are going all the way. An old white lady wonders if he has a wager on the game tonight. The oldest woman in New York city. Absolutely. He is ancient. The pigeon lady's grandmother. Yes. He does, but it's taken advantage of certain economic opportunities. Or as my investment guru, Mark Roberts says, kick open the door and opportunity don't have to knock Bart Roberts from his book. Let's all get rich, which is a 20 CB as title ass off on the cover of that book. Bart Roberts. Absolutely. I love Bart Roberts. Would you take life advice from someone named Bart? No, never once. There's no way you could be a get rich, quick guy and have the absolute cul-de-sac hair line that he had. Well, hold on. Only the 20 CB man. There you go. I'm about to say 20 CB is all right. Kick open the door and opportunity doesn't have to knock. Yeah. But isn't opportunity knocking at your door? Why would you kick open your door? Why would your dad know, Zach? You see, opportunity is outside your door. You got to kick the door down and flattened opportunity waiting there. Frucking opportunity about to knock kicking my door open. It's hitting opportunity in the face. Opportunity will never see you coming, but they're coming to me, but you don't know when they're going to get here. You got to take the offensive, Zach. You're waiting. You got to pound. Why? You got to take control of the situation. Abuse. Exactly right. Opportunity is trying to help me. I'm not kidnapping opportunity. Not with one P or not. Quick little Q's diner montage. Pink outfits. Q calls them over. They give them an eye roll. This guy is amazing. Yeah. He's ass off, but he's also super duper creepy. The way he unveils the new uniform, it's like taffer in the relaunch. Same note to approachable sexuality. Is that vinyl or latex? I think it's latex or plastic shiny pink glossy outfits. The tag says fetish. Oh, there's a delightful detail. Boy, I didn't see that. He says, you don't like it. Gaby says no. And Trixie says, but I like the neckline and then Gaby hits her. Yeah. Golden dumpster health inspectors coming soon. Got to keep everything clean. Dumps a coffee on it and slides right off just like my short set. Really waterproof. Was it 98% polyester? It better be waterproof. My short set still has not arrived. Still real. I got robbed. Marty McFly is in there. He orders an egg white omelet and a clean glass of water. Gaby tells him they don't separate eggs. And that's as clean of water as he's going to get. This is a battle of 21st century man at 20th century bitch folks. I sure is. Mr. Business says, buy all means bring me whatever is convenient for you. Regina's ready to fight. I'm going to take her heel off and then old lady miss Ben Vanuudy comes in. It's a scared librarian from the beginning of Ghostbusters. You guys are unscarable. Casual exposition that Mr. Business is buying her house. Mr. Business. Mr. Experience. She can't take the winners anymore. Mr. Business and his company are buying it. Still dismisses her to go cook something. But now Regina wants that duplex. They want to raise kids. Everything's expensive. Money is. Mr. Business. Yeah, it is. Kind of wish he hadn't dropped out of high school right about now. Marty McFly is an asshole. Oh, Mr. Business. He tells him still ignoring you hand to the face. Horseman. 20 CB is winning. 21st century man is getting roasted. Ralph sneaks home, brings in a box. Gills go Mets to Ed. Now they're watching together. Girls get home as they're talking. What are they watching Zach? Game seven of the World Series with the Mets in it. The seventh game of the World Series. Bottom of the ninth two outs down four to three. I wonder if Mike Cameron is going to knock it out of the park. Ladies come home excited with news, but the guys are locked in on the game. We don't bother you and you're watching your stories. 20 CB. So the girls came home with plot lift off. So Dreek insists he's a businessman, not a gambler. Oh, they can't stop talking. They need 20 K for a down payment on the duplex. They only have two weeks. They have five case saved and now listen, Ralph have 5,300, right? Sean Aston, Ted Aston, the whole Aston family have arrived to dig a pool. Aston Martin 20 grand down payment. Yeah. Same day. Well, I mean, it's 1950. Yeah. Well, yeah, the Mets are about to win the World Series. It's 1950. Oh yeah. Okay. Yeah, then maybe yeah. Mike Cameron foul ball. They freak out full count. Gabrielle wonders about their savings account. So Dreek says, give her take. Maybe he took money out. Maybe someone has a birthday coming up and maybe I'm trying to surprise her. Maybe blue some of the savings. My birthday is at eight months, Ralph. Ed Butters. He doesn't know what she's talking about. They see the box in the kitchen. Mike Cameron hits a deep ball. The left it's out of here. Home run shot Aston Mets win shot Aston. Mike trips over the couch and each shit and in his concuss stupor, he says, Mets. The Mets. Oh, Mets ears. They celebrate their dancing. I'm open the boxes. There's money in them. Money in these boxes, baby. Money, money, money. Money for anything. You want money for the house. Money play anything. You got to be fast on your feet to make it in this world. You know what I'm saying? And when I'm the first one to hit the streets with this stuff, yeah, I'm gonna make a fortune. What's up? Mets stuff. Official merchandise. Rob met a guy on the bus who gave him a Godfather deal. That's right. Godfather deal. What? I don't even know. Maybe this is how they did in the fifties. They waited to see one and then they printed the shirts. It's a lime green t shirt with a teddy bear on it. Tries the next box. It's knit beanies. This is beyond idiocy. Mike up says it must be a throwback. I chuckled. This embodied voice golden dumpster. Let's go through all of his mistakes in the past. That's a man purse. And I was this close to getting Al Roker the well one on the today show. Wasn't he? So was. He was this close. I was with him today. You're not helping Ed. 900 for the pet cactus doesn't seem bad. No, but it's the 1950s act. 100. What year is it as a horseman? I think 20CB covers it. Could be any time of the 20CB. Listen, Alice, we'll get the money for the house somehow. No, we won't. It's always going to be like this, Tricks. With paycheck to paycheck, hand to mouth, never having anything to call our own. But no, you know what? Hey, it's cool, right? Because most people in the world live like this, right? Just didn't think it'd be so hard. Alice, come on. Door slams. Cedric and Mike are walking the streets. Mets fans celebrating. We get some walking talk. Hello, exposition. Cedric says, I know you think I have the perfect relationship, but the truth is we don't always get along. Wow. I never know that. Oh, I call this helpful exposition because I needed to know that their marriage is on the rocks. Oh, you couldn't tell? She's mad, but she'll get over it. She wasn't mad. Mad you get over. Mad I can handle. I know how to deal with mad. Just say it online once. What? But the look she had on her face, it was like she was disappointed in me. Like she didn't believe in me anymore. How do you come back from that? Sure that you're sorry. Buyer asked something. With what? I'm broke. It does a guy selling gold Cadillac spinners. They don't have a car. He knows a dude who sells hearing aids. Let's go shoot some pool. Mike doesn't like to brainstorm around him because he's very critical. They argue about who gets to break for pool. This goes on for a very long time. They'll flip for it. A whole lot of comedy. They argue about who flips the coin. Yes. Then they argue about who gets to call heads. Then Cedric shouts, Mike's going to break the most ridiculous man I ever met. Maybe so, but I'm breaking. Takes his sweet ass time. Line it up the shot. He's getting ready. We need a pitch clock. It's a 90. Right when he's about to go, Cedric shouts, Mike shanks it. It ricochets and hits a guy in the head. Slowly falls. That dude's pissed. It's on cut to outside the bars. They get beat up and thrown out. Mike's phone rings and it is an odd. So as to ring tone. Was it a side kick? I couldn't quite see no way. You got this guy with a side kick, but it was horizontal maze. They didn't have side kicks in the fifties. Well, they did. Mike apps is a side kick. Ed gets a call about a major backup of the sewer system. He's a specialist like being a brain surgeon or Spider-Man. Spider-Man would have got his beat down and thrown out of the pool hall tricks. He shows up to cheer up Alice by wearing all of her Ralph gear. God, I love her a rain, Bella, Kangol, a valour, fanny pack, a baby cactus. And you know, I wear it 24 seven cause reigning got no schedule. She encourages Gabby to accept her man trying. And I said, marry me. Trixie. Well, I gotta do is try cut to the men in the sewer trying to fix a pipe. Cedric is there for some reason. Why is he allowed to be there? Well, I mean, who's going to stop them? They have a visitor sewer outfit. Yeah. It's orange. How long would that take to get? Not that long. The wardrobe in this movie is crazy. Yeah. You think this is bad way to the end of the movie? Oh my God. Tip of the iceberg right now. It's the whole reason he did the movie. So you wear that dumb ass fucking outfit with the hat and then the yellow suit. My dumb ass fucking outfit. You mean his personal collection? I've always wanted to have minus hat. You've always what? Nothing. Nothing. Keep moving. He's straining with the wrench. He shuts it off. Everyone celebrates in high fives. They climb up a ladder. They're going the scenic route. Hello exposition. The New York city sewer system is 6,600 miles city beneath the city. He flips a breaker and reveals the teenage mutant ninja turtles layer. Yes. Master splinters train car. Same no to roll. When said says we're lost, aren't we? He over and unseeds the fuck out of it. It sounds like you're trying to do Sidrick the entertainer. Gerard Butler. It does sound like that. Oh yeah. I think we're lost in this sewer. It sounds like DJ Khaled. Oh, they didn't want us to know they want us. I guess that is kind of like Gerard Butler. The train car has mahogany paneling and velvet curtains. And I said, okay, maybe this is Artemis Gordon's train from Wild Wild West mahogany. Who wouldn't want to own their own train car? I said, I hate that me and Sidrick had the same realization at the same time. What? Mike gestures at the bell and says solid brass. Said he's auctioning it off. Who would want to own one? And then we get this way over the top music sting. You know what? What is it? This is it. What's it? We buy the train to indicate Sidrick's big idea, which is we buy the train. I had the thought which apparently was fortune telling. How are you getting that thing out there? I was like, oh, it must obviously have an exit. You call it fortune telling. Some people call it common sense. He wants to turn it into a tour bus. New engine, wheels, paint, give tours of New York City. And Mike Epps thinks that tours make a lot of money. I hope Alice doesn't have to keep track of all the clocks in New York City. Won't be able to get that duplex, but soon we can buy him a palace. Is it supposed to be funny and charming how fucking dumb this dude is? You've got a golden opportunity to buy real estate and you're going to buy a fucking train car in New York City. They high five. Mike's waiting for the behind the back, but Sidrick has walked away. Cut to the auction. Ed wants to do another riddle. Ralph says not now. He's a fellow investor type. How are they buying this shit again? They have savings. Well, Ed has savings. Yeah, this motherfucker blew his money. Well, I guess we don't know, but he at one point had 5000 and savings and he used all the Mets gear. I don't think he used it all. He said give or take. Well, he was lying. Okay. Well, he does buy the train car, so he's got to have something. I think with Ed's money, if you know you can't compete, you may have to practice the seat that comes from Bart. What's his name's book? Robert's. Takahashi is using a big ass magnifying glass to examine the photos. He's looking at that solid brass bell very closely. He's looking at the train ID number. The drink approaches calls it a very fine train introduces himself. They exchange business cards and Sidrick's is shitty. He's going to show him the train right outside the door and then he pushes them out as the bidding begins and he's holding him. He bids $1000 Takahashi from behind the door says 2000 Ralph somehow gets it for 3500 guys. The auction does not go the way they wanted, but not before some gong worthy cut out by Mike ups. We get the, I'm a purple belt. He does some hand motions, accidentally slaps us over the face. Call me D cut to trick scene. Alice walking down the street. Mr business rolls up on the ladies in a Ben's SUV. He wants to make amends as the M class. And that was a barely new old boy. Yeah. Damn class at the streets. That's some rule developing 15 affordable units on that property. You'll save them a big fat sunny corner unit for each of them. I'm a fun landlord. I'm Mr business. It doesn't make any sense. He's developing the whole block. They won't do it. Cut to Ralph and Ed having a guy inspect the train car. He has all the stuff to turn into a first rate tour bus. The dressed like train engineers from like the 1800s. They're dumb ass train conductor caps with the pinstripes and the overalls and the stupid ass hat wardrobe. They buy this train and they're buying more wardrobe to go along with it. Horsemen horse. It's a horseman. Their friend Lenny from Gilly is checking out the train says it's not bad. What happens in Gilly? Are there any lines from Gilly or suck my dick.com. Lenny wonders how they'll get it out. They only have 20 feet of track. They're 60 feet below street level is going to cost a fortune to move it. And the baseline from for the love of money starts playing and Morgan Freeman starts singing it to himself about how he's making all these has fallen movies. Ralph is glad it's night without the pips. Back to driving the bus old lady riding by herself. A lot of double shifts. What's your poison gambling drink. Oh no no no none of that just work myself into a jam trying to get along a little better. And this is when I knew I was in trouble because this is more or less the same premise as the old lady from Tommy boy talking about when the horse come in and I didn't laugh at all. Well it's a way worse version of it. It's way worse. May as I need you to clip it but substitute me. So you hose. Put that in instead of her hose. I popped when I saw a pepsi edge product placement ad. Oh a lot of Pepsi billboards and product placement in this movie. No Coke. No this is a Pepsi movie. I don't remember Pepsi. Ed was there edgy. It never left the cockpit 50% less sugar. You got to look at the bottle though. No come on. You don't remember Pepsi edge. No I don't cut to the end of the shift. He's tired. We got exposition from Ralph to Eddie worked for double shifts this week. Damn Ralph. We need to pimp some Ops. You know what I mean. I lied. I said said walks fatly from the bus. He's doing the little rocker. Then corrected a dumpster bangs and rustles. Golden dumpster. They hear a dog in a bag. A bunch of debris is coming down the chute. So they pulled out just in time. It fell out of the back of a station wagon that Steven Seagal was following around town and then somebody threw it in a dumpster. They pulled out just in time. Mike's going to clean them up, get them a rhinestone collar and call him Iggy. Iggy. Perfect name for a dog in the hood. Cobra formula. He wants to call Andre with dollar cut the nighttime at home. You can hear the dog in the background. Alice couldn't sleep because of it. Ralph says she's probably imagining things. These double shifts are killing them. Exposition. Every L wants the house reexposition that they need it by next Monday or else Mr. Business is going to buy it. She's going to ask her mom for the money. 10 K. It's all they need. Right. Right. Said keeping the secret about the train with his ass fully on. He whispers loudly to himself. I guess if I hadn't spent the rest of it on the train and I hate to do it this early, but fove man, what you can't do that. You can't have him loudly whisper exposition to himself and then pretend that she misunderstood him. We got to break down the script writing, but maze. What about comedy? What's funny about that? The fact that he would say it out loud. Yeah. Cause he's a fucking idiot. He says, no, I just kind of add it up in my brain. She wants him to go by and see the house. Ed already's been, he says he'll go. The dog keeps barking cut to Ed and Ralph walking the dog. They're talking about getting the train out of the sewer. How much you don't want to know Cobra formula. Also, they don't want to tell us. Cut to the park montage time. People break dancing, camera pans over to said and Mike B boy and get to 90. I thought it was break the fourth wall time because this motherfucker goes a shit breaking fourth wall right here in the scene. Now they're in orange Brooklyn youth club shirts going door to door. Now they're pretending to be blind. They're no carry Washington. Now he's calling old debts. Both of them are riding one bicycle, throwing newspapers, 20 CB metal detectors in the park, 20 CB. And then he steps on a $20 bill, but he doesn't notice cause it's not metal comedy. River dancing on the break dancing cardboard. The dog is wearing sunglasses because now the dog is blind to we're breaking fourth wall some more cause an old date's supposed to go Dutch, but he paid. They're working on scratchers only to reveal at least a hundred of them in a pile at their feet. All the scratchers. So that's anything they made and probably some extra money doing the worm. Now they take a bow with the money in the hat from the dancing. It falls out and the crowd grabs it and everyone robs them. Cut to the four of them going to the park with the dog wardrobe. It's mostly Regina, but Mike also wardrobe. Mike is lying about Iggy the dog. $100. Regina wants to name the dog patches. Oh, Hula hand the Greek exposition about Gab's mom coming. Mike's going to wear his ref jersey cause they fight a lot. Get it? We got a bitch mother line coming up. Plans on asking for money. You didn't tell her about the train money? No. It's been my experience that too much honesty can ruin a good relationship. Put that for me for the rest of time. Same note to bro. Wow, he didn't tell her about the train. That's crazy. Look at him over there. What do you think they're talking about? Us bad weaves, fake Louis Vuitton purses. I mean, what do they always talk about? Let's say the conforming interest rate is 6.5% at one and a half points. Now, does that leave us room for a two one buy down? I don't think you'd want to do that in the first three years, but we could always run the numbers. Huh. Looking them over there. What do you think they're talking about? You know how men are. They'd like us to believe they're over there talking about religion or politics or economic injustice. You know all they really care about is Beyonce is more pete shaped like the way Chaka Khan used to be back in the day. Chaka Khan used to be built like a bleach bottle back in the day. This was funny to me. Golden dumpster. What are women talking about? What are men talking about? I call this what men want position. None of this was funny. Iggy comes back with a rope tied around his neck. That's the leash they're using and Cedric is impressed. The dog can run. He sees the dog run once. Yeah, that's it. Let's get into dog racing. Let's get the music sting to let us know that he's got another dumbass idea. Is that a horseman? Yeah. Music sting is a horseman. Norton. That's it. We race Andre Aguadala. Norton. Hold on. Will you give that to me is to our butler's heck? Norton. Let me do mine. I'm so good at that. Norton. Come on, Norton. Are you all at campaigns lighting up the dashboard? They're not the pipeline. That's bull spend. 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Polito doesn't care. He's never heard of them. Cedric says they have been exclusively racing in Argentina. I've seen them on Telemundo. I didn't know they raised dogs in Argentina. Yeah. Ever since the shot took over the shot of Argentina, they want to race in this weekend, but it's the tracks anniversary Derby sign us up 20 K at stake, $20,000 American dollars. I do this bit, but usually I do it in the negative. When someone tells me something cost something, I say American dollars. I never say in the positive when someone is about to pay me. There's an extensive screening process. Who's his sire? His what? What's a sire? His damn his damn what? My damn who? My damn putts caught in the door. Hey, what do you want from me? I'm trying. I don't know all the good things, you know. Damn what? Who's on first? His lineage. Are you talking about a sailor? You don't wear clothes. I laughed. Polito agrees to give him a time trial tomorrow. Who's his trainer? I need trainers. He's housebroken. He's a trainer. Get Dodge. I think Dodge. Yeah, same note too. He's the guy for you. Cut to the pest. Siphoning gas from a car tank. He's not siphoning gas. He's sucking. He's sucking. He's suckmydick.com. Absolutely. He's sucking. Thanks for these photos. I mean, I really appreciate it. Oh boy. He sees them. He walks over. He asks if they're socially... Zach looks like he's siphoning the hell out with some gas. Not gas. Oh, it's cool, man, because I'm a canine behaviorist. I train, board, and breathe grayhounds and specialize in temperamentally unsound psychologically unstable, genetic throwbacks. I do not pick up excreta and I run out of my facilities right out of this place. Says here you sell time shares in the polka-nose. What? Let me see that. Oh, you got my bad man. My wrong car, man. Importifications, underage mail order, brides. That's an infashioned consulting. You know what? We don't need cars, man. We don't need cars with dog people. We got a bond, a fellowship. Hey, look at the dog. Look at him. Seems really bright, alert. He's fucking Teddy Rexing his ass off. Oh my gosh. All right, then Dodge asks about the rope leash. You carry your dog around on a rope? You siphon gas out of a car. You're cashier. All right, then Dodge says it's his friend's car. Yada yada, blosy blosy. He'll train the dog, 500 cash, let them think about it. Okay, they'll do it. Does this guy look like a dog trainer to you? I don't know. What does a dog trainer look like? Good point. So they decide to trust John Belito, the slimy owner of a dog track. Well, he says this guy's legit. So it must be legit. We are no shit, but that guy told us to do it. So let's do it. They give him 500 bucks. No bad dogs, only bad owners. That's good to know. I agree with it. So Drake gets excited when he sees his fanny pack. Nice man purse. I then Dodge bought it off an unhoused gentleman in a 7-eleven parking lot for a quarter. Some sucker made like a thousand of these. They're a partnership now. Minaj a note, you put in capital. I put an experience and you get the experience. I keep the capital. Is that cool? He likes to work at night. Too many people, too many dogs during the day meet at nine sharp. No bad dogs. Just bad owners cut to dinner at home and mom shows up. Guys, I don't think Gabby's mom likes that very much. I don't think she likes anything. Somewhere around the third flight of stairs. I think I got TB 1950. Oh no, not the DB. He did bring pie and Francia. Okay. Now we're getting back at the 90s. And she's taken back what's left over. She doesn't want to see Sudreek. He lives here. Not for long. If Jesus would quit making movies and answer the prayers of a righteous woman. And I wondered, is this a passion of the Christ joke? I think so. Certainly at the time. Sudreek gets home to the song. Seconds of pleasure soundtrack exposition. He leans down to kiss what he thinks is Gabrielle on the couch behind the magazine. Fill in the words. Mama, they both scream. He can't tell the difference. Couldn't see her. I bought the body. How big was that magazine? Couldn't see it behind the couch. You leaned over. He closed his eyes. He was already eyes closed. Going in. Mama calls Sudreek a pervert. One day you're going to push me too far. Only thing that could push you is a bulldozer. God is ass. He's fat. Bantler. Gabrielle tries to diffuse. Give Sudreek a stare down. Even though Sudreek gave exposition to Mike that they were having this dinner tonight. He already forgot about it. CT five worst liar. He says he and Mike have to go to the lodge. What is this? The Flintstones and then Gaby says the lodge. What are you Fred Flintstones? And whoa, I had the same. No, too. Gabby woman. I got somewhere to be. This guy sucks. Refuses to lose the house over another half ass scheme. This country was built on half ass schemes. Okay. Well, he's right. Got a point there. Real inventive stuff like the guy who came up with the thong. Okay. He's wrong again. He was short on material and he used what he had comedy. He doesn't care. She wants him on his best behavior. He's a dog in the window. He has to think of a good lie to get out of this. So he says, how about I go get the entrees? You going to France for those? And she laughs at her own joke says the mama golden dumpster for mother-in-law Lewis Pinnock as well. No, because the reason she says entrees is because he was pinocked when he said, how about I go get the entrees? He said in that stupid ass voice, loudly expositioning in the kitchen with Mike. Can't have Gabrielle deposit money because that's the only way she will know how much money is in their bank account. Cause it's 1950s. Cause it's 1950. We got to break down the script writing mama is cracking herself up about Sudriak eating all their dinners. He's ass off. She is ass off when you hit plate. Stop. That's funny. Sudriak loads up for chicken with cayenne pepper. Yeah. Then mama switches place with Gabrielle. Mother Gibson. This is free range chicken. What a chicken does on this free time is no never minding me. Sudriak then swaps with Gabrielle. Now you all switcheroo. He reluctantly eats the cayenne chicken first. Just don't eat it. You got damn bingo or scrape it off the chicken. What the f*** are you doing? He had himself with a napkin. Mama asks what Gabrielle wants. They thought they talk after dinner. I thought you'd marry a lawyer. Apparently we both thought wrong. She assumes they need the money. Gabrielle wants to buy a house. Meanwhile, Sudriak is suffering from the mouthful of cayenne pepper he had, but mama thinks he's torn up about the money. Can't believe they need 10 K. Who do you think I am? Weezy Jefferson. God rest her soul. Sudriak chugs a second glass of water. He would not do well on hot ones. Cayenne is not that hot. No, but in the 50s. Oh, yeah. Thank you for a white man in the 50s. In the 50s it was ghost pepper. Gabrielle asked what she thinks should have married little Larry Fillmore, little Tommy Throckmorton's cousin, because he took over the funeral home. They've had two bites of dinner. Time for dessert. It's over. Let's get dessert. Mom will go get the pie she brought. He's yelling. So your mom is going to the kitchen. Mama Gibson says, tell the truth. You on the pipe, ain't you? Nope. She asks where the paper towels are. Ed's in the pantry of the dog. Motion's no to Ralph. He says he doesn't believe in them because the rain forest 21st century, something wrong with him. She leaves the kitchen. Ralph asks, Edward, the dog is, he comes out with a box of Captain crunch crunch barriers on his head. Cool. Instead of Mike going solo, they're going to bail out the fire escape. Another riddle about lighter than a feather. Ralph gets it. It's your breath. Mike's impressed. Calls him a genius. They sneak down the fire escape. Sudriak has vertigo. It's a staircase. There's nothing to be afraid of. No, badly. Big crash. Now they're hanging. Gabrielle and mama look out the window, but don't look down. Don't see them. We're like crazy husband of years ago. I think he said something about a meeting at the lodge tonight. More dessert for us. So do they have lodges in New York? They did in the fifties. And then I thought, wait, where's the dog? Dogs waiting down below. Okay. Mike is scared to death. So he confesses that he saw Gabrielle Union naked and still thinks about it. Of course he does. Ralph attacks them. They fall five feet. They're fine. Cut to the pest, breaking into the tracks as he forgot his keys. They don't buy it. Yeah. Right. My wife left me. Okay. Technically, she's not my wife, but the pain is all the same. He's Teddy Rexing. They duck and hide from security. He says they're not breaking in. It's competitive business. Don't want other tranches to steal his secrets. Are you profiling? Why are you profiling? He's training them for a dog show, not a race. Time for the moment of truth. Bunch of physical comedy and Teddy Rex, Jabber Jabber. A lot of, all right, now time for him to run and then the dog lies down. French aerobics teacher, really flexible, not enough soft places. They put Iggy in the gate and he doesn't move. What's the whole Tony Montana, Mickey, the trainer from Rocky. That's all about the montage. We're doing massages and breathing exercises. He tells Cedric that his parents find it difficult to explain what he does for a living. And I'm wondering, is this all a dog whisperer joke, which started in 2004? Absolutely. Oh, yeah. That's the whole thing. Yeah. When good dogs go bad, there's one man who's their best friend. Cesar Milan. No dog is too much for me to handle. I rehabilitate dogs. I train people. I am the dog whisperer. And Ced, by the way, extremely ass on in the background, reacting to this scene. All right, then Dodge, Lewis Pinnock with the Tony Montana and the Mickey. We get a Nancy Kerrigan reference. What about steroids? Nobody needs to know. They don't even test. Mike talks about getting a pit bull pregnant. Then I then Dodge says, you win that race, you get the power, then you get the bitches. And okay, Iggy's reaction to getting bitches might have won ass off. Well, look at this photograph, but he still won't get out of the gate. I then Dodge says the dogs are straight up dead. Then they try to blame. I then Dodge, I seen this dog move. Was you drinking at the time? Haha. Also, he says I started out with nothing and still got most of it left when he was trying to inspire the dog. That's golden dumpster. Epps starts running to inspire the dog. They try to get him to chase him. Yeah. Go me. The Ed gets back and they say nice lap. It's funny. I smile. Finally think of the blue rubber ball that he was chasing in the park. He put it on the motorized bunny lead and taped the ball in its mouth and the dog is running the next day. Andre Agadala runs fast. He's in. Makes qualifying time. He qualifies assuming we have the dog's paperwork. We got the paperwork. You got the paperwork. What's paperwork? Very 20 CB joke construction right there. 1950s. Owner's party tomorrow night. Authenticity of line. License to race. Proof of insurance. Membership in grayhound. Paperworks position. They ain't got it. They can't get it. But I then Dodge says we'll do it for 600 bucks. Okay. 300 bucks. Should not run a pinkberry. That's a horseman. Yeah. I put business as a horseman. Bad business. Everyone's a horrible negotiator in this movie. But I wanted to include my friend Mr. Business. He's bad too. We'll get to that when we get to it. No. He's good at business. Business. No, he's not. How'd he get that Benz? What are you talking about? Nepo baby. You're out of your mind. Mr. Business. Had it business. Cut the mom coming to the diner to speak to Alice. Owner says she's busy. Do you know who I am? We get a resume battle. The back and forth is funny. Excuse me. Do you know who I am? No. No. You know who I am? I was born in a one bedroom farmhouse with five brothers who I raised. I was born in China eight years ago in a Chinese rice field. That's pretty funny. I served my country in Vietnam where I was a Golden Glove champion three years running. Before when I come my English is not good looking. And now I speak perfect. I raised six kids, buried two husbands and am on the lookout for number three. Can I call you next week? What? Mama presents a crinkled personal check 20CB. Gabrielle celebrates. Can I take this right now? She was skeptical, but Sidreak's genuine worry convinced her. Yeah. Fucking right. Gabby comes down to the house to pay the old lady. McFly is loitering. Mr. Business. The exposition is on how she's going to own the house. McFly started doing background research. And at this point, why don't you just outbid her, man? She's a fucking diner. Raise the fucking. Well, he's done that. No, he hasn't clearly not. He could double, triple quadruple. You could build 15 units in his one. 80 grand is a lot in the 50s, but it's doable. Gabrielle is bragging. They're going to own the place. She laughs at him. What's so funny? Come Monday, you'll be trespassing. That's a interesting variant of Cobra formula where you laugh first. Who did that? Oh, was it Jack Levin? Jack Levin. Yeah. It's Levin formula. That's right. She hit him with the Jack Levin. Levin formula. Mr. Business calls his guy who says that they have nothing in their bank account. So he wants him to find out what Cedric is up to. Back on the bus office spaces. Tell him said about his Puerto Rican crush. That woman I was telling you about her name is Malena. She's Puerto Rican. My God. I've tried to talk to her, but words won't come. I can tell you a thing or two about women. That's if you're ready to hear it. And now Cedric gives mystery line advice. Oh, just like that. The manly art of Wenching Insights month is back. I said, is he going to give how to be a player rules? It all starts with letting a woman know who's boss. It all begins with letting her know who's boss. Very important. Gabrielle said the next stop. Mean mugging the shit out of him. He's pissed, but also very punctual. As I said, she finally checked the ballots because she went to the bank to deposit a check. That's how she found out that they're broke. This is somebody voice. Let her know who's boss Ralph. Golden dumpster. Account is not only empty. It's overdrawn by $223.60. Cedric says that's a mistake. It's wrong because I don't know nothing about no 60 cents. Oh, I'm sorry. I don't know nothing about no 60 cents. My nut says he's back to talking like said again. He'll explain where the money is, but out of context might sound crazy. He starts with the train and the sewer. She immediately wants him out of the apartment. I laugh. Norton and I found the train and the sewers. Get the fuck out. Listen, listen, and then we got this dog out of the dumpster. I don't want to hear it. I don't want to hear. I'm done. Come on, baby. Just 24 more hours, okay? 24 more hours, and then we can get on to the life we both dreamed of. And what life is at, Ralph? Huh? You've always been so obsessed with your own dreams that you never even bothered with mine. I mean, how can you say that? I want the house just as much as you do. Then why haven't you been by to see it? Because I mean, because you're selfish, Ralph Crandon, and I'm done playing the fool. And this is how I know he's a CT five worst liar, terrible liar, because I would have said I did three times. She's never home. That's all you got to say. She's always at the dinner. So I took the bus by it. Taxis honk at him. He yells back at them. No consequences from walking off his bus full of passengers. No, for 10 minutes to have his argument. He drove it to Brooklyn. Well, there was nobody on the bus. What consequences sounded dangerously close to the thing right there? And me? You drove to Brooklyn. The heavy bus. And me in the bus. Or if the thing were from Brooklyn, like Ralph Crandon, yeah, yeah, whatever. Be my guest. That's kind of the new one. The new fantastic one. Cut him at the house at night. Ah, he saw it. Watch the alarm goes off. And he has to go to the owner's meeting, cut to Ed and the pest talking about the pest dating. Teddy Rax, but I enjoyed this. absent pest talking about dating is me and Zach. Well, luckily for me, man, I'm near sinus. How can they just about anybody know? I understand what you're saying. Like I'm dating this lady right now. It's about 40, 40 plus whatever. I don't want to marry her for her money, but I don't know how else to get it. You know what I'm saying? You know, someday I'm going to find somebody special who's not going to press charges in time. Ralph shows up in his bus, tosses the keys to the valet. Uh, you're fired again. Keep it close. You're fired a horse. He's basically stealing this bus whenever he wants grand heft auto grand heft auto. All right. Then Dodge criticizes his uniform says A-list party, but you got D lists all over you. They try to roast them, but they aren't good at it. I then dodge is wearing new underwear, new to him. Anyway, a good dollar is going to win this race. They'll get that money and the house. I then dodge has his paperwork, but Cedric needs a suit. Where are they going to get one now? Oh boy. Only I then dodge with clear his throat. Look at his own hand. Look at this photograph. That's him walking in wearing a giant ill suit with massive buttons and calls it temptation like massive pants too. Ralph says he's dressed like the last blues brother. I then dodge says he looks like a plucked sunflower. Woman walks up tells Ralph. She loves all his stuff. He's confused. Everybody seems to know about them. They find Kirby. Kirby compliments the suit. I then dodge says they're out of banana yellow, but they got some pumpkin left pumpkin. It's anything about pumpkin and Cedric is pissed because pumpkin is his color. Oh, it's the color in the sewer. It's his color later in the movie. It's shaped like a pumpkin. Ralph has the paperwork. Kirby says Iguodala has been scratched from the race. I bribed the top people. I was on procedure to get this through. Mr. Business paid a lot of cash to keep Iggy out of the race. A lot of money. A lot of money. And he brings over enough champagne to fill the now and enough champagne to fill the now. Oh, hey. Vove Clico in 1952. That's impressive. This is the point where I wondered the first bottle whether I should change McFly's name to taffer because he says it's just business. Nothing personal, which is a very taffer thing. My gap says how's it? It's just business. He's completely confused by the saying the irony being that his name is Mr. Business. So anything business is personal to him. It's not Mr. Personal though. Polito tells him to stay, enjoy the buffet, buy themselves some drinks like that little detail right there. Is that open bar? No. They didn't have that in the fifties. Open bar, dude. Pest is telling Ralph to let it go. I'm sitting up here dressed like a rubber ducky. You talk about letting it go. Pest is talking about Kirby as a self made businessman started off with $5,000 and now he's two to $3 million in debt. Golden dumpster. I said, listen to here's the science of our rescue podcast. You got to admire that. I ain't got no taste, but I got to admire that. Mike picks his nose and drops it under a trophy lid. I don't know what he's doing in this scene comedy. Someone with a headset grabs a drink and Mike says they're late. Come on, Chang. Everyone knows about your yellow suit. Pest has a phone call about calling the cops and he'll give the money on Friday and film noir. It's his mom, Colmity, the ladies, Colmity. It's supposed to start five minutes ago. There's a stage in a piano. It sits down the piano. Ralph has the mic. He has an idea. What kind of an idea? Thank you. Follow his lead. Any time people get on stage, just follow my lead. We'll figure it out. 20 CB. So it's recap positioning about the dog being scratched and Epps plays a shit out of the piano. Ask the dreamers to raise their hands. Had a dream. Iggy would race on this track. Now Mike is playing arpeggios, falls off his stool. How many Eddie left hands Norton ladies and gentlemen, you know, we found Iggy in a dumpster. Damn near dead. Hadn't eaten in days, but like most underdogs, Iggy's a survivor like Seafish, Rocky, Destiny's Child, all survivors. You know, I guess I'm just saying this to say that Mr. Kirby, I don't know why you're not letting our dog race tomorrow, but he's already a winner in my book and I'll put money on my dumpster dog any day of the week. Yeah. Any day, Ralph. You're not buying any of this crap, are you? A homeless dumpster dog. You're kidding. People are going to be falling all over themselves betting on him. Mr. Davis, I'm sorry. That dog wins. I'm screwed. That dog will never win. You see for yourself. Iggy's in. They celebrate. Polito yells bet on Iggy. Iggy. And then, and then two Asian men come over dressed like Ed and Ralph. Yeah. That's my piano. I guess that's comedy. This is the opposite of a Sean Aston because I truly believe the event planner would not know the difference. She just see a yellow suit and that's it. Cut to Alice's apartment. Knock on the door. She assumes it's Ralph. It's Trixie and Ed. She says Ed has quite the story and wants her to hear it. Then they tell us the story, right? Nope. Next scene. Cut to the racetrack. Ed and Ralph are wearing massive suits and stupid fucking hats. Wardrobe. This is the outfit. Why Cedric the entertainer did the with what money? They already owned this suit. Exactly. You just didn't have time to do that. Put it on from a suit scam of 2003. I wrote dressed in their finest Steve Harvey suits. But then I was like, that's a Cedric the entertainer suit and hat. Yeah. The drink is in pumpkin hat and shirt and Mike is in mustard. Mustard. I know why does your dad, but why does Cedric the entertainer think that's a good look? You look dumb as fuck. It was in 2005. It wasn't. It never was. It's slimming. It's not slimming. It's not. He looks fat as fuck there too. Whoa. He's dressed fatly. Oh, it's fine. When it's Kevin James. I don't like this at all. Fat man's burden. What porn is inside that one? You don't want to know. The porky. BVW highway. Don't worry. I said Dodge also has a color coordinated fedora in gray. Oh my God. He's got a total neck. Tells them they look mac in pack in black adosius. Real money is in the second race. They hand over Iggy. Mike keeps looking around for gab. Cedric knows she's not coming. She's not coming. Norton. The girls are lurking waiting to see if he loses. No, it'll kill him. Qualifying heat. Iggy's booking it. Dominates wins easily. Stolt says he's unbeatable. Kirby says the final is a whole different ballgame. Everybody else says only Ralph. Our future depends on a dog race. Baby, don't be with him then. Yeah, you could do so much better. They gave us a lot of exposition in this movie. They didn't give us a single piece of exposition of why they would be together. What do you mean? Certainly not that first date. He danced around her. They made it through Y2K. That's right. I think Dodge is arguing on the phone again. Mike wants Iggy to visualize success. Cedric says, huh, why don't you visualize going back to that dumpster? I said, Oh, I mean formula. You get him to visualize going back to that dumpster. Jesus Christ. He's laughing at what he just said. Dodge and Ed don't like it. Sorry guys. I'm nervous. Dodge tells him this next race is tough and they think they see a massive dog walk by. Do they see a massive dog exact same size as all the dogs in there, including Iggy once they're lined up. He just walks closer to the camera. Yeah, but they ADR a scary dog noise. Greyhounds cannot make that noise. They're little bitch ass dogs. Oh, Mike calls it a horse. Major race of the day anniversary Derby. Everyone's nervous. Gate opens in slow motion. Iggy is hauling ass. Cedric is extremely worried. He's bucks in the announcer tells us that Mike holds up the blue ball. Good luck charm and this bingo. Oh, he's gonna chuck the ball. Yeah. Iggy's gonna go. He's gonna win. Holy shit. It worked. No, Iggy veers off the track. They lose in slow motion. Pavlov's dog took third, but he got his ball. Now Cedric yells at Mike says Gabrielle will never take it back because of you. First, the dogs gonna think you're yelling at him. I'm not yelling at him. He's just a dumb dog. We're not boys. We're not friends. We're not nothing. We're gone and stay off my fire escape. Cedric realizes he did all that yelling in front of Gabrielle as they leave sad music and then doesn't go after her. No, why is she hurt? Because he fucking lost all the money. No, there was a dick to their friend and that's what she's mad about. Yeah, he's acting like a piece of shit as opposed to that's not the man that she thought she loved because he danced around her that one time. Sad music as Cedric sits in the cock chair of the train he bought by himself stoically deep in thought and then burning all of the merch in a barrel. He would later sell to Wayne Brady to light up a walkway for a basketball game. Same note to same note to but I said burning all the recaps position. Even burning Bart Roberts book. I was a sucker for ever believing in you. Should let Mr. Tagohashi buy this train. His card fell out of the book in the fire. Music sting. Maybe you still do now he's got a reach in the burning fire. Maybe he still wants to he's going to have to plead Mr. Tagohashi come see the train and make sure you still want to spy it. I need this to talk a hot she checking out the train. Oh, okay. Now he's got to have with him for a really long time as for 25. Tagohashi says 25 20 20. You should not run a pinkberry horseman. I'm going to need to check right now. Ralph ambles to the bus and bangs on the door. It's Kevin Corrigan. It's the little brother for good fellows. He's a bus driver gridlock though. He can't get to the diner by 90 am too much traffic calls the diner health inspectors there. He hangs up on him. Mike is welcoming new hires to the New York City sewer system. I got to get to the diner by 9am. This is urgent gridlock. How am I going to get there? I got to go under the city. Oh, like, okay, this makes sense. It goes down there. What do you mean this makes sense? They live in New York City. There's just subway system. I assume that there is some sort of cars down there or whatever like what we saw like spider-man's fighting that fucking lizard. I'm willing to suspend disbelief to believe that. His name is Dr. Lizard. He gets down there. Mr. Manager. He's funded by Mr. Business. He got dressed up in a hazmat suit for Joe and then stood there and waited waited for Mike Epps to give this whole speech. Today he'll join an elite group of dedicated, independent professionals survived a rigorous application process interviews and psych profiles guy behind him says actually these are convicted felons of violent crimes in a work release program comedy. Zach, I know what you're wondering. Does said run up like, Nord, Nord, I need your help. Whatever. Yeah, he must. He's in the heart. He's got to get there by 9am. I mean, he's chilling. He's waiting for all of this pop at circumstance for the work release program because Ed has to get through the speech, but Ed sees him and is like, I'll get to you in a second. Right? No. That's the whole speech. So they set up the whole thing with the current cons got a flood convict. Sad runs up to him. Super Daisy chain. Not how that works. He doesn't say, Hey, man, I'm sorry. No, but look, I got the money. Let's go. It's time for some best friend exposition. I mean, he confesses that the riddle book and exposition he bought it and that's how he knew how all the riddles ended, which if he memorized the riddle book, that's still impressive. Weren't you in a hurry? Oh, you know, I have to be the smart one. All that's without that. I don't know what I would be anymore. Come on, baby. Don't start. Stop it, baby. I mean, I'm trying to just say what I got to say. Look, hey, look, man. You know what I'm saying? I got to tear it. Do I have to tear it, man? No, you're okay. This doesn't change everything. We still have issues between each other. Look, okay, I understand that, but I got the money for the house. This is the part where the cons will attack them. They got to chase them to the sewers. Nope. We're just going to sit here and watch. Did he sell to Tagahashi at 430 in the morning? So much time has had to have passed. He needs Mike Epps's sewer expertise to get across town, but Mike Epps has conditions. Sure. Just as many as there are lessons in how to be a player. Seth says, whatever it is, whatever it takes, you're supposed to go, right? No, no. They're going to argue every step of the way. Cut to them on a cart. Condition one, I need to pick stuff, movies, restaurants. How long did that take? How long in between? I got some conditions and I'm going to start giving you the first condition. How long did it take for Seth to start bitching at him at this guy who's saving your marriage? 0.3 seconds. Ralph Cramden is a piece of shit. He's a bitch friend. He is a bitch friend. Nothing would ever get decided if he picks stuff. They jam on the brakes. Fine. You can pick stuff. Second up, refer to me as Edward. And then another one stopped making fun of me. Cedric calls him ridiculous and he falls mouth open into shit into sewage water into shit. Submersed spigot mouthful. He's dead in two minutes. Well, you know, they just invented penicillin sex. So he's fine. And your radio Mike laughs at him. The big one is never yell or get mad at him ever again. Mike wants him to put it on his family jewels after some deliberation. The drink agrees. Good cause we're lost. The drink swallows the yell then whispers Edward. How do you suggest we proceed from here? Let's Mike pick which direction they go the wrong way. They double back when he says put on the family jewels. Does that mean he's got to shake his hog? We know that I'm shaking. The jewels aren't the hog. Jewels are the whole thing. You don't business deals shake on a hog. That's what I thought. That's not how Mr. Business does it. No, I've been doing it. No wonder you call yourself a businessman. They go right up a ladder to a manhole right outside Q's diner. But Mr. Business parks right on top of them. So they got to go two blocks down. Now they are waddling up. Waddling as Mr. Business hands the old lady the pen in midair. So we can see it. This is exposition of a different sort. Visual exposition. Don't sign that paper. Health inspector sees the footprints and says that's no good. I left. Ralph gives her the wet check. It's got to smell like absolute shit. It's got shit on it. A soggy check. He fell in. So it's she'll take it as is. This is going to kill this old woman. Mr. Business offers more money. She declined. She'd rather have her house remain a home. Took you this long to offer her more money. You dip shit. Mr. Business. You should not run a pinkberry swampy sewer soaked Sudreek hugs her stankily. She's dead. Then grabs his contract and rips it up. As he says, this is Mr. Business. It's not personal cut to Alice sitting in the park under the Brooklyn bridge and he pulls up the bus staring at the gap in the sky where 9 11 half super charged. So he uses the digital sign on the front of the bus to deliver his message. I didn't know they had that in the 50s. How about a second chance? I'm because sorry. Our relationship and is where not done yet. Alice. I've wasted so much time made so many bad choices. There's only one thing I've ever done right and that's love you. She says let's go home. You mean the one we just bought? She forgives him before she finds out that he got the money. Yeah, because of the killer sorry message with the bus. Wow, bow formula because then he gets to the key. Wow, baby. You're the greatest. Guys, I don't have a long illustrious history of Sean Aston's just in this episode. She took him back. She took him in the first place though. It's stuck with him. It's worse than taking him. It wasn't believable that she took him in the first place. It's not like they also kiss until nighttime. Oh, yeah. This was an incredible use of budget. The time lapse. That's not time lapse. That's a green screen, my friend got to easy dodge relocations moving truck pulling up pest is directing them on unloading their own stuff cut to them having burgers in the backyard and Budweiser's just their own home. Iggy brings over a newspaper. Takahashi's on the cover. Does it give us any exposition that the gold train bell sold for a million bucks? Hello, exposition. And now Gabby turns into the bitch. Why full of a sudden like Gabby don't even sell it. Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. She's right here. Not just because she's hot. It's because of all the schemes where you have had nothing. Nets, merchandise, heck cactus, rain, brella, Kangl. You finally had one that if you were just intelligent in the slightest, they'd be millionaires. Well, one million dollars. But in the 50s counterpoint, bitch, you wanted a house to get you the house. They got in a bigger house. She won his one. This house you wanted because they could get it and they did. She just wanted a house. So, Chase's mic down the street as Cobra style plays. What? FIFA 06 soundtrack? Yeah, that was very confusing. Dude, I was like, I know I was, but I've never heard the lyrics. So it must have been a place where I just heard the beginning notes of the song. FIFA. titreblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblblbl Got the fuck out of there. I wrote... I bet these are hysterical. I just fast-forwarded until I got my suggestions. Seatbelts fastened. Tracehables in an upright position. Here we go! One, three, two, one. Earth below us. Drifting, falling. Floating, wainless. Calling, calling. Poplift off! When Yabby overhears McFly about to buy... Mr. Business. The house from the librarian. I had Sidreak's first big idea of music staying to buy the train. That's good. I didn't even think about it. You weren't struck by the lift off of the plot? Speaking of being struck, was it when Jackie Gleason beat his wife? Oh. Super charged that, but also... Yes, that's my answer. Is there audio... Of him hitting her? No, of David Stern saying... Oh, Jim Rome. I'm not saying that I do, but I think it's my job to ask you that. Have you stopped beating your wife yet? Yeah, I don't know if that's fair. I don't know if that's fair. Oh, why is that? Why don't you try telling us what the fuck happened? Plot summary, Amin goes first. I go first? Why? Because you picked it. I didn't pick it. No, you sure did. Plot summary, one minute and 30 seconds on the clock. Amin picked it, so he goes first. Oh, three baby, one, two. Do me a favor, I don't want to do a countdown before I do the scene. No countdown. No countdown. Can we just do off of action? Just in your own time. Good, so I... I'm not a rocket ship, okay? Okay, alright. Cedric the Entertainer stars as Ced from the Steve Harvey show, and he's the bitch friend. He goes in and out of his voice he would use on the Steve Harvey show, where we talk like this. Anyway, he's a bus driver with big dreams of getting rich by saving the world, Y2K, or selling peck cacti, or some shit I don't know. Somehow, despite being a colossal fuckup, he manages to pull Gabby Union by taking her on a date to stare at the Twin Towers. Cut to six years later, they're still broke, the towers are gone, and Gabby is resentful. I guess divorce didn't exist back then. The upstairs davers are Mike Epps, who is Gormity Incarnate, and fine-ass Regina Hall. Gabby overhears at the librarian from Ghostbusters trying to sell her duplex to the original Marty McFly. And aside, she's going to subvert all American housing finance conventions, not to mention New York City housing market, and capitalism itself. To buy it from her. Problem is, said blew their entire life savings of $4,000 on hair brain schemes. Met chairbishop's t-shirts, buying a train, pretending to be blind, paying pastario Vargas to train a greyhound they found in a golden dumpster. McFly finds out about the dogs, so he pays off Sylvia from Seinfeld, love me, kiss me, mmmm, mmmm, mmmm. Did not let the dog race, but said and Epps are mistaken for a Chinese duet, and they convinced Sylvia to let the dog race. The dog loses because it's a bingo, again they found in a golden dumpster, now said is broke, and Gabby leaves him. But then said remembers the guy who he outbid to buy the train at the beginning of the movie, and sells it back to her for $20,000, so they buy the house because McFly's dumbass didn't think of outbidding until just now. He didn't even say pal to the moon. Alright, I'll go. Three, two, one. A portly New York City bus driver with absolutely no passengers makes an unsafe stop in order to holler at a woman. After wooing her with his relentless dance moves, he promises her to take her to the moon, and the Brooklyn Bridge. He boasts about his doomed get rich quick schemes, while all this poor woman wants is a house to call a home. Six years later, after somehow locking her down, the bus driver and his sewer expert neighbor are tied up in a scheme dependent on the New York Mets to Win the World series. Despite the Mets actually doing it, and proving it is a movie after all, their plan still fails because they didn't gamble on it. They bought bad merch, sight unseen from an unnamed party. While his wife finds an old lady willing to give them an amazing deal on a duplex, the bus driver fritters away their savings on a variety of misguided pursuits, all because it's the 20 CB and she can't check the bank balance until she deposits a check. The bus driver plans to buy an antique train car and turn it into a tour bus. The only problem is it's located deep in a sewer with the Ninja Turtles with no way of getting out. So they pivot to turning a greyhound they literally find in a dumpster into a competitive racing dog overnight, which of course brings John Leguizamo into the mix. A fast talking canine behaviorist con artist. This plot line goes on for a while, but eventually the dog doesn't win. The bus driver has been kicked out of the house, is now living in the train car, which he realizes he can flip to the other guy who wanted to buy it for exactly the money needed to buy the duplex as the two couples on Leguizamo toaster success within the gold bell is worth a million bucks. All right, Zach, three, two, one. The Honeymooners or Honeymooners is simply a movie about digging a pool in Encino by yourself. That's all this is. Fucking Cedric the Entertainer, bus driver stops, dances around Gabrielle Union in fucking 2005 gets her Sean Aston. Then he's going to get rich because the Mets are going to win the World Series and he's going to sell merchandise before anything else hits the streets. They do. Sean Aston. Then he's going to buy a train, turn it into a tour bus, and that's going to make them their riches. Sean Aston. Then through all of his fuck ups, getting rid of their $94 in savings and everything that they've worked their whole life, all she wants is for a house to be her own. She just wants her name on a deed through all this stuff. She decides to stick with him. Sean Aston. They find a dog. They decide to race it. Why? Because it's 2005 slash 1950s. And the dog doesn't win. And really this whole movie is just so one, Cedric the Entertainer can wear stupid fucking outfits and stupid hats. And two, they're trying to erase the fact that this was a show built on domestic abuse in the 50s. They didn't even say the line. They kind of said the line. I'm going to drive you to the moon now. I also want to fuck you, son. Who cares if you lose the game? You got this off your chest. I mean, it's just one night of bar trivia. One night of bar trivia is San Crescent Tusk. Trivia is San Crescent. In February 1993, it was reported that Savoy Pictures had acquired the rights to the honeymooners from CBS Entertainment for development as a feature film adaptation. Leonard B. Stern, who wrote many scripts for the original series, was employed by Savoy. Leonard B. Stern. As a consultant during the film's development, Damon Wayans had wanted to star in the film and unsuccessfully lobbied for the producers to make Ralph Cramden African American. Ultimately, Savoy selected Tom Arnold to play Ralph. But Arnold received a $4 million offer to start a film version of Mikhail's Navy, which led to the film stalling in development. The producers also plan to excise Ralph's catchphrase bang zoom out of concern for changing attitudes towards domestic violence. They're concerned about the attitudes changing. 93. Guys, I know, I know we all think it's funny, but what other people? So, Zach, you know, Tom Arnold, right? That's interesting. What about in April 2002? Who do you think they tried to relaunch it around in April 2002? A white man. Jack Black development of the honeymooners was reignited at Paramount Pictures after the studio's interest was peaked by James Gandolfini publicly stating his desire to play Ralph Cramden. I remember this. Watched the sopranos in August 2003. So what is that 14, 16 months later, it was reported that Cedric, the entertainer had been cast as Ralph and filming would commence in October of that year. They got the quote at that point. That's my quote. That's my quote. That same month, Paramount hired Barry Blaustine and David Sheffield to provide an additional rewrite on the film after Saladin K. Patterson performed uncredited rewrites on the original script by Danny Jacobson. Saladin K. Patterson is black. Now, Maze, you mentioned James Gandolfini is being attached, but if you go back a little further in the nineties, it was conceived as a vehicle for Kenan Thompson and Kel Mitchell playing reimagined versions of Ralph and Ed respectively as a way to cash in on both the honeymooners and Kenan and Kels pop later at the time. However, due to disputes that never came to fruition, Kenan and Kel would instead end up starring in Good Burger. Now that timeline doesn't quite add up. They're not going to give it to Damon Wayans. Why would they give it to Kenan and Kel and then kill her really popular? Yeah, but that seems more like there would be a Nickelodeon, maybe Nickelodeon tried to get the rights right to do the honeymooners with them. Yeah. The opening scene, Zach is Cedric, the entertainer driving the bus and dancing, right? Yeah. In the original honeymooners, Ralph Crandon was never seen on a bus. The only time he's seen on a bus is in promotional photos for the show, but the show itself, everything takes place either in the apartment or at the bus terminal. Two sets they could build. The film was released in theaters with the PG 13 rating from the MPAA for quotes, some innuendo and rude humor. However, for the DVD release, the rating was later changed to PG. And I think we got the PG version. I think we did too. Art Carney's ex-wife, Barbara, visited the set and gave Mike Epps an autographed photo of Art Carney. I bet he has that. Epps was extremely flattered by the present. He said he was extremely flattered, Zach. 65 flyer. This one is insane. To avail of tax breaks, certain sequences were filmed in Dublin, Ireland. What? Yeah, you know what they say, right? Some parts of the city are Dublin for New York. What? They're Dublin. They're Dublin for New York. Trying to do the all-pass joke. Yeah. This penis is Dublin. Zach, the honeymooners not only inspired the Flintstones, hence that Flintstones reference, but did you know that scene they go to Lodge, right? In the original honeymooners, they do go to Lodge. Zach, do you remember what the name of their Lodge was? I don't know. Not at all. All right, then Lodge. The raccoons. I wonder why they didn't include that part. No, no, no, no. You want a full circle moment here, Zach? Inspired the Flintstones. Jackie Gleason actually thought about suing them, but then it was like, I don't want to be the guy who's responsible for pulling the plug on the Flintstones to just let it be. But it inspired another show, Zach, another more modern show. King of Queens. King of Queens. Wow. Wow. That's as Zach read. Roger Ebert was notably one of the few critics to give this movie a positive review, and the opening of the movie was set in 1999. However, Ralph's bus features the American flag decal placed on buses following 9 11. Ever forget what happened on 9 11? Nope. No one. We got it. Tony Medley. Oh, no. In the sixth game of the 1934 World Series between the Detroit Tigers and the St. Louis Cardinals, the Cardinals Hall of Fame pitcher 30 game winning dizzy Dean found himself on first base as a pinch runner on a ground ball hit the second. Dean tried to break up the double play by going into second standing up the throw from the short stop hit Dean square in the head. An old diss went down in a heap carried off the field unconscious. The headlines in Detroit papers the next day screamed X rays of Dean's head show nothing. That was pretty funny. It was funny. 10 years later. It was still funny. 20 years later, but after 71 years, it has lost its cache. The first joke in the honeymooners is based on this line, which surely has become hackneyed and no longer funny that that line turns out to be the best line in the movie shows how vacuous all the screenwriters who got writer's guild credit names like Danny Jacobson and David Sheffield and Barry Bloustine and Don Rimer are. When you see four names getting credit for the script, you know this is a troubled project. Maybe this was a punishment like do this or we'll give you credit on the honeymooners. But what can you expect from Sherry Lansing's legacy of Paramount? She tried to remake Alfie disaster the longest yard, which she remade is a lousy movie, but it's getting fairly good box office. Now with this, she has finally reached the bottom of the barrel in her retirement. This is one of the worst movies ever made. The script is an insult to the audience. Just as an example, Ralph, subject to entertainer, is in a hurry to get to a coffee shop by a certain time to stop a real estate deal. We don't know what time it is, but he gets on a bus and there's gridlock and he has to move. So what does he do? He goes and finds a phony uniform somewhere puts it on somehow gets all odds immediately finds his buddy sewer worker Norton Phil Epps. Breaking in a new crew listens to his speech then reveals himself as a rejuvenating reconciliation with Norton and they go merrily to the coffee shop through the sewer that would take hours in real life. But this is Paramount and Ralph gets there just in time. What kind of intellect does it take to entitle this debacle after a revered sitcom and name the characters after characters apparently beloved by many played by Jackie Gleason and Art Carney with those characters, the actors are going to necessarily be compared with the originals. Talk about disaster. If there was brilliance to the honeymooners of the fifties, it was that the stories were limited to the relationships among Ralph, his wife, Alice and Norton. We rarely saw them interfacing with third parties. Most of Ralph's schemes were in his head and only in our minds eye. He talked about them with Norton and Alice and the react to it. It was all about imagination and writing and acting. The honeymooners is nothing like that. There is nothing left to the imagination. We see Ralph carrying out his schemes. The writing is abysmal and the acting is on the same level. Cedric's Ralph is nothing like Gleason's Epps is so inept as Norton that his performance should go down as one of the worst in movie history. It's not funny. It's not anything but atrocious. This would have been dreadful. Had it had no connection with the honeymooners of the 1950s by tying it to a classic TV sitcom, it made it just that much worse. I've seen lots of horrible movies this year. I can't imagine them getting any worse than this out of 10 has to be zero. It's a zero. Finally, one. Ring that solid gold bell. I popped what he said in the 1934 World Series. That's how he started it. That's how he started it. If we don't get him in before Tony Medley's honeymooners review is up for 2026 Hall of Fame. 100%. I'm penciling it in right now. I'd like you all to do an experiment on a plant, something that may benefit mankind. And if you would devise something that groundbreaking, I got into you a in this course. Hold on, man. You following me? You can't do that line. Look, man, if you don't want me to have a foreman job, I understand, but I need my fucking job. Louis Pinocchio accent award. On trays. You going to France for those funny line. Eithen Dodge barking like a dog. Eithen Dodge, Tony Montana. Eithen Dodge, Mickey from Rocky. Add one more. Mickey from Rocky wasn't Eithen Dodge. It was said. Cedric. But it just ended up sounding exactly like his white voice, but with a cigar in it. That's the only change. I would also nominate a mean Cedric voice, which is my pick. It's Cedric Cedric voice. Cedric Cedric voice. All right. We'll show him who the horsemen are, guys. Yeah, we got soul. Oh, five horsemen business exposition riddles 20 CB wardrobe music sting. Sean Aston breaking the fourth wall. What year is it? 20 CB versus 21st century, man. Get to 90. You should not run a pinkberry. I kind of like you should not run a pinkberry business. What year is it? How many times we shift from the fifties, including the amounts, any dollar amount, but somehow they have cell phones, but she has to go to the bank to find out the balance. She could even call the bank. No, no automated system. Go to the bank. Yeah. No, no, no, no. The down payment for a duplex in Brooklyn, New York was $20,000. Yeah. Guys, what year is this, man? Yeah, it's what year is this? The Mets one, the World Series. What's Sean Aston? No, I mean, they have won a World Series before. What year is this is Sean Aston and 20 CB mixed together? Breathe in through nose, out the mouth. That's on that's off. Teddy Rex, musty Teddy Rex, Teddy Rex, musty Teddy Rex. Ass on. Fuck it. Ass off. Ass on. Fuck it. Ass off. Michael being Memorial Ass on award. Cedric. Now hold on for a second. Are you about to tell me that I'm ass on because I talk like this sometimes. Yep. unanimous running on a post. Yeah. Well, like Cedric, not the entertainer. God is ass. Are you not entertained? I'm not. Check this out. $1,100 is exactly what I charge for acting classes. No, it isn't. Yeah. Well, what are the chips? Universe? You've done it again. Power Weathers Memorial Ass off award. Iggy the dogs reaction where he hears about getting bitches. Regina Hall is Trixie. Carol Woods is Mama Gibson. I thought Gabby was good too. Sure. Yeah, Gabby's good. I think Mike Epps probably is the one for me. Really? As the ass off. I think he's okay. Or Phil Epps. If it's Phil Epps, then yes, I would. He actually wrote Phil Epps. Screwdriver. I'm going to go Mama. Mama Gibson. Carol Woods. Cause she's never really acted before. Yeah, Mama Gibson. All right. That works. Yeah. Her cracking up at her own joke. The Jack Lemon. The reverse Jack Lemon. She waited to do it after she made the joke first. Yeah. You're good at keeping secrets. Absolutely. Cause I've got a, a present for you. Secret present outside by the dumpster. Is it a baseball mitt? To fit you like baseball mitt, like a glove. Yeah. Hope golden dumpster nominees. What men and women are actually talking about? Iggy the dogs reaction when he hears about getting bitches like was almost calling Kirby a self made businessman. He started out with five K and now he's two to $3 million in debt and Mike Epps breaking down crying in front of the violent crime convicts. Tricks he's saying, but I like the neckline, but then Gabby Union hits her. Never seen a Mets fan wear any of those. Maybe it's a throwback to disembodied voice of Mike Epps. Who's the sire? What's a sire? His damn, his damn what? His lineage. Are you talking about a sailor? He don't wear clothes. He wears a 10 inseam. You carry your dog around on a rope. You siphon gas out of a car. How about I go get the entrees entrees? What are you going to France? I started out with nothing and I still got most of it left. Oh, this is mine. Lock it in. I just came from the bank. It's a funny story. Want to hear it? Disembodied voice. Let her know who's boss Ralph. Mine's going to be, I was born in China 80 years ago in a Chinese rice field. Oh, no, as much as I enjoy it, Iggy the dogs reaction, I do think that I need to talk about business and like was on my calling Kirby a self made businessman because now he's two to $3 million in debt. And that's just how business works. That's right. This is John Kirby. Open a dog track. Well, I mean, you picked a motherfucker. Motherfucker. I like that. Over file. The double qualifier. Tony mentally gave you a zero. I laughed a lot more than I thought I'd laugh. I definitely was unexpectedly amused several times in this movie. And you know what? I'm just coast of filing it until the whole I got to get to this place at 9am. Literally the part that Tony badly, it took me back to over the top. What are you doing? Why are we doing this? And I cannot in good conscience, even though I'd love to start the center of the entertainers of black Kevin James. Watch your mouth. I just can't. This is a foe for me. Watch your mouth. Nice. Nice. Are you folks? Oh, that's right. He did both super easy foe. What was the moment? Nice. When he loudly whispers to sex positioning that he bought the train in bed, which should have been a golden dubstern nominee because of how fucking stupid it is. I believe that this could have been rebooted if Ralph Cramden was at all likable if you believe that his wife liked him. If you believe that I'm supposed to like him because I want his schemes to succeed. None of that happened from the jump. He is a piece of shit. Fast forward six years. He's married. He's still a piece of shit. He's a bigger piece of shit who's fucked up more. He doesn't think at all about any of his plans. They're all fucking stupid and he fails upwards. At least the ending. It's like, Oh, he's an idiot. At least that was the final note is he had a million dollar golden bell and he gave it away for 20 grand and a house payment. It's still awful. It's a foe. Good riddance. Zach, I actually think most everybody in this movie does a pretty good job except for the main character. Sure. And as we went through it, I did realize I laughed at more points in the movie than I thought I did. There's some funny lines or whatever. Funny enough, from the cold open, white man's burden was mentioned, correct? Did that make the regular episode? No, but if you go get the extended cold open from the Patreon, how do you do that? I said in the intro of the show, like I do every week. Oh, no, sorry. Someone missed it earlier. I appreciate that for you. There is actually a movie here, but man, it is so bad. Where? I mean, the concept, whatever white man's burden was mentioned in the cold open. And I mean, you know better than anybody. I'm an ally. I cannot in good conscience side with Tony medley on a black movie. It is a tepid file with snacks, a lot of snacks. The 99 cent powdered sugar, 99 cent powdered sugar in cracker jacks. Was that a snack in the 50s? When did cracker jacks invented? 99 cent powdered sugar. What are you made of money? 99 cent powdered sugar and cracker jacks. That's how the song goes, right? I cannot be with Tony medley. It's nickel taffy. What kind of taffy? Nickel. Oh, nigga. Oh, wait, this isn't a sweep. Hold on. I can't stand with Tony medley. Tony medley can't be right sometimes. I can't stand with Tony medley on a black movie with the whispered black. That does your folder file golden duster. S on S off five horseman, Lewis pinoc plot lift off. A good idea for a get rich quick scheme. You have confirmed to me. You don't believe that subject to entertainers, the black Kevin James at talk hoops. Oh, maybe Kevin James is the white center to entertainer. Don't do that. Watch your mouth at dorthamine at corn puzzle at cinephobe pod at counter dings or drop to the discord by being a patreon member at patreon.com dings next time we make love. Introduce me to j my options were dog shit. I had to go down to my sixth movie to get one to qualified because I watched it on my laptop for some reason it only gives you one suggestion. I got senseless. So I got three senseless was one of them 35 and ticking doesn't qualify. That's one of the eight million Kevin Hart movies that are on Pluto TV and then one that does qualify. What's the worst that could happen? Yeah, that's the one that I got six. My proposal to you guys is to honor the passing of Chuck Norris. Same note to bro. We do a Pluto TV movie with Chuck Norris. They're all there. Chuck Norris is a mega piece of shit. Oh yeah. No, that's why we want to do this. Okay, Zach, when I tell you they're all available. I'm not trying to be facetious here. I have the filter on Delta Force sidekicks missing in action invasion USA the cutter fire Walker eye to eye the octagon coat of silence the president's man I typed in I typed in sideline which I think is in that DVD cover missing in action three. They all qualify. Are you socially redacted? All right, we're going to do this. I think we should. I don't like that we only have one option. I mean, I like Danny DeVito and Martin Lawrence. It is your pick those acts. So I guess you could do what's the worst that could happen or Chuck Norris movie. Well, because his brother Aaron Norris appears to have directed this one. RIP Jonathan Brandis. We're going with sidekicks. Sidekicks is the one that we get the most people want sidekicks. Wait, wait, hold on. He seemed to cover for forest warrior. Yeah, I'm telling you, man. I'm looking at all these shits right now. Oh Lord, forest warrior. Is it on there? 46% what not on Pluto TV. McKenna, the spirit of Tanglewood forests can transform into a bear, a wolf or an eagle. That's it. With a gang of evil lumberjacks led by Travis Thorne arrive in Tanglewood. What? To chop the forest down. McKenna cannot let this happen with his new friends, Lords of Tanglewood, a band of children who love to play in the forest. He battles Thorne in his gang. This doesn't qualify. No one's seen it. Not one critic reviewed this. 500 ratings voted down. Five stars from Brett G. Clean family fun. Chuck Norris classic. Fuck you, Brett G. Was my favorite growing up and now it's a yearly watch for my three boys. A yearly watch? Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. All right. Listeners, let up shit on you. Bingoes. You bingoes want to get on my good side. That's shit. This is the easiest one ever. They only have 500 plus reviews. You need like three negative reviews for forest warrior. You bingoes want to get on my good side. You want me to stop being mad at you talking to you, the audience, not these two, Boba Dukes boat down forest warrior on rotten tomatoes. Get it under 40% or get it to 40%. We'll break the Pluto TV. We'll break it. Just the fucking do that. Yes. Blake user. Chuck Norris and one of his greatest acting exclamation point. What? Nice dialogues. Exciting combats. Quote transformations over the top exclamation point. This is Chuck at his best. I just want to make clear that it can only turn into three things a bear, a wolf or an eagle. That's it. Someone reviewed it. One star, a cinematic kidney stone. All right. Get forest warrior in there. It's $20 on Amazon. I'm buying it with the hard copy. Yes. DVD. Add to the collection. All right. Sidekicks next week.