Minisode: Picking Fights with Chelsea + Catherine

This is an iHeart Podcast. Guaranteed human. I'm Nancy Glass, host of the Burden of Guilt Season 2 podcast. This is a story about a horrendous lie that destroyed two families. Late one night, Bobby Gumpright became the victim of a random crime. The perpetrator was sentenced to 99 years until a confession changed everything. I was a monster. Listen to Burden of Guilt Season 2 on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Listen to By Order of the Faithfuls on America's number one podcast network, iHeart. Follow By Order of the Faithfuls and start listening on the free iHeartRadio app today. This is Ryder Strong, and I have a new podcast called The Red Weather. In 1995, my neighbor, Anna Traynor, disappeared from a commune. It was nature and trees and praying and drugs. No, I am not your guru. Back then, I lied to everybody. They have had this case for 30 years. I'm going back to my hometown to uncover the truth. Listen to The Red Weather on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Hey everyone, it's Emily Simpson and Shane Simpson from the Legally Brunette podcast. Each week we're bringing you true crime through a legal lens. Whether you want all the facts on the disappearance of Nancy Guthrie, or you still need to wrap your head around the ditty verdict, We're breaking it all down step by step. And we're not just lawyers. We're also husband and wife. It makes for some pretty entertaining episodes. Listen to Legally Brunette on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Okay, guys, I am officially on my high and mighty tour. March 13th, Cleveland, Ohio. March 14th, Columbus, Ohio. March 15th, Cincinnati, Ohio. And then March 20th is Denver, Colorado. March 27th, Portland, Maine. March 28th, Providence, Rhode Island. March 29th, Springfield, Massachusetts. April 10th is Chicago. I'll be at the Chicago Theater. April 11th, Indianapolis, Indiana. April 12th, Louisville, Kentucky. April 16th is Albuquerque, New Mexico. April 17th is Mesa, Arizona. April 23rd is Kansas City, Missouri. April 24th is St. Louis, Missouri. April 25th is Minneapolis, Minnesota. April 30th, Nashville, Tennessee. May 1st is Charlotte, North Carolina. May 2nd is Durham, North Carolina. May 6th, I'm doing Netflix as a Joke Festival. I will be in Los Angeles. That is a new announcement along with Atlantic City. May 15th, Saratoga, California. May 16th, Monterey, California. May 17th, Modesto, California. And then June 4th, Port Chester, New York. June 5th is Boston, Mass. And June 12th is Portland, Oregon. and then Seattle is June 13th. So suck on that, everybody. Go to ChelseaHandler.com for tickets. Hi, Catherine. Hi, Chelsea. I have to tell you, I was channeling you this morning when I almost got in a fight with a man. Oh, wonderful. I went to the gym before. How wonderful for you. I know, truly, truly. My blood pressure was up. So I went to the gym this morning and like got princess parking. I was feeling great about it, But I had to sort of like wedge my car into a space next to this guy and like just a shitty truck with the big wheels and the, you know, it's all jacked up and whatever. The small penis truck. And I heard the car start and the truck next to me start. And I was like, OK, well, like I'll just wait till he leaves so I can readjust my car, make sure I'm not parked like an asshole. Right. So I'm waiting and waiting. And I turned off my car. I see him walk up and through my rear view mirror, I can see he's like bending down next to my car. I'm like, what is this guy doing? It looked like he was like taking a picture next to my car. So he gets in his car. I try to like turn my car on to roll down the window and be like, hey, what the fuck, dude? And he doesn't hear me because he's in his car. So I get out and wrap on his window. And I'm like, hey, why are you like taking pictures of my car? Like, what's the deal? He's like, oh, I wasn't taking pictures of your car. I was taking pictures of that. And I look down and like my gym is right next to a laundromat. And there's like, you know, those inserts in a bikini that's just like the foam padding. He was like taking a picture of that that fallen out of somebody's laundry. And I was like, OK, whatever. Like men are so stupid. I'm like that hasn't even touched a boob, which I'm sure is also true of him because he has that kind of a truck. Anyway, so I go into the gym. I work out all my like, you know, anger issues. I come back out. I try to get in my car. I like open the door to a black SUV. it's not my car I'm like man this person's a mess they left their car unlocked so then I go find my car realized not only had I left my car unlocked but my window was down from when I tried to yell at this man and it was also on so just like fully left my car on in the park side open so anyway I'm in the car yeah no well the key wasn't in the car I had the key with me it just stayed on. But it just stayed on. Right, right. That's tricky. But I didn't lock it. I'm like, girl, I'm a mess. I'm a mess. Yeah. Anyway, I tried to channel you and get in a fight. So did you believe that he was taking a picture of that? Or is that what he... Yeah, he was like down next to my car and he was like, it looked like he was taking a picture of my like tires or something. I'm like, he's parked like an asshole and over the line. So I assumed he would be an asshole, but... That reminds me of the time I took a picture of a guy sitting down next to me on the plane and he was so massive and his pants were underneath like halfway down his butt crack and he leaned over and I took a picture of his butt crack and he caught me and he was like did you just take a picture of me and I'm like yeah I didn't know what I was like I can't lie my phone is right here and he goes why and I'm like because your butt crack is out and I wanted to send it to my friend and the rest of the fucking flight we just had to sit next to each other after I had This is the beginning of the flight? This is the beginning of the flight. No. I got caught. I got caught red-handed. I had to admit it and then fly with him for two hours. I love that you just told the truth. You were like, because. It was two. It was like, I just went through all the scenarios in my head. I'm like, he's going to ask me to show him my phone. And obviously, I don't have to do that. But then I'm a liar. So I'm like, just tell the truth. Oh, my God. I know. It was, I was, but that, yeah, that was, I was the asshole. But he was also, his asshole was almost out. So he was really the OG asshole. I'm Nancy Glass, host of the Burden of Guilt Season 2 podcast. This is a story about a horrendous lie that destroyed two families. Late one night, Bobby Gumpright became the victim of a random crime. He pulls the gun, tells me to lie down on the ground. He identified Jermaine Hudson as the perpetrator. Jermaine was sentenced to 99 years. I'm like, Lord, this can't be real. I thought it was a mistaken identity. The best lie is partial truth. For 22 years, only two people knew the truth until a confession changed everything. I was a monster Listen to Burden of Guilt Season 2 on the iHeartRadio app Apple Podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts This season of The Traders may be the best we've ever seen. Listen to by Order of the Faithfuls on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Almost 30 years together, four kids, and some of reality TV's most unforgettable moments, we know a thing or two about living life out loud. We're taking you behind the scenes in our new podcast, Between Us, with me, Heather Dubrow. And me, Terry Dubrow. Between Us isn't about perfect lighting or curated Instagram grids. It's the unfiltered, behind-closed-doors conversations you wish you could eavesdrop on. Equal parts smart, funny, and a little bit scandalous. Every week, Heather will bring you an unapologetic take on the headlines, the trends, and the cultural moments everyone's texting about. And Terry will deliver insider beauty, health, and wellness insights you won't find on TikTok. Together, we'll tell the stories, spill the secrets, and share the hacks that keep life, marriage, and everything in between feeling fresh and fun. We may live in a gated community, but there's zero gatekeeping here. And plenty of, did they just say that moments? Listen to Between Us on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. I'm Anna Navarro, and on my new podcast, Bleep with Anna Navarro, I'm talking to the people closest to the biggest issues happening in your community and around the world. Because I know deep down inside right now, we are all cursing and asking what the bleep is going on. I'm talking to people like Julie K. Brown, who broke the explosive story on Jeffrey Epstein in 2018. These victims have been let down time and time again for decades and decades and decades by local law enforcement, by federal law enforcement, by administration after administration. The Justice Department, through I think we counted four presidential administrations, failed these victims. Listen to Bleep with Anna Navarro as part of the My Cultura podcast network. Available on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Well, I have a quick update from Jessica, who called in on our Laura Lynn Jackson episode. She was parenting through the loss of her own mom. And so she sent me a picture. When we talked to Laurel and Jackson, Laura had told her, look out for a blue butterfly and a chicken. She was like, it's going to come soon. Keep an eye out for your blue butterfly and the chicken. So Jessica texted me that very night with a picture of like a planter in a corner hanging with a blue butterfly sticking out. She goes, I have chills. She goes, I didn't expect it so soon. I noticed it in my dad's house today when taking a chance to talk about my call with Laurel and Jackson with my stepmother. I had never seen it before. And when I asked my stepmother, she said, oh, I just moved it there. It feels like my mom forgave her too and wants me to make things work with her. Jessica. So it was like that night after she talked to Laura, she saw this sign from her mom. Did you tell Laurel and Jackson this? I did. I did. Oh, good. Okay, good. Yeah. Oh, that's sweet. Yeah. So we'll see if she gets back about the chicken. I asked if she's seen the chicken yet, so maybe not, but we'll wait and see. Maybe because she could just order a chicken at dinner and then there it is. Maybe it's that kind of chicken. Okay, cool. Well, our caller today is Melissa. Her subject line is microdosing shrooms and lesbian marriage rock bottom. Dear Chelsea, was my subject line catchy enough? What a combo, right? Shroom question is for myself. I'm the birth mom of our three young kids currently on. You know, actually, she sent me an update. She was on Zoloft and now she's on Lexapro and it's going pretty well. The lesbian marriage advice is for myself and my wife, who've been married for seven years and together for 12. My wife is going on 40 and she's not thrilled, to say the least. Definitely a midlife crisis type of situation. I'm currently typing this as I feed our toddler twins on their bedroom floor while breast pumping some fresh milk and eating animal crackers. Anyway, I'm on Lexapro now, but I want to try microdosing to help with my anxiety, obsessive thinking, and ADHD. Undiagnosed officially, but I can guarantee I have it. Is this a good idea? Now, I'll try to summarize the deep hole my wife and I are in. We've been cycling through the same issues throughout most of our relationship. Problem one, we deal with conflict very differently. She's a yeller and quick to anger, and I am the shutdown type that likes to let everything fester inside and get passive-aggressive when it's too much. I always feel like I have to defend myself. Problem two, we live in chaos most of the time as we raise our three small kids. We have no time to ourself. Problem three, she wants physical intimacy and I feel like my energy is so depleted that the thought of sex most of the time makes me feel like it's another chore I have to fit in. How do we get through this phase and make it to the other side intact? Thanks for reading my middle of the night email. Love, Melissa. Hi, Melissa. Hi. Hi. Hi. How old are your kids? I have a four-year-old son, and then my twins are actually 20 months old today. Okay, well, nobody's having a good time during that, okay? Sexually or with their partners. Nobody's peaking in their relationships during that time. So this is a moment in time. It will not be permanent. Are you and your wife in counseling at all? Do you have a therapist, a couple therapists? We tried like four sessions, and our therapist was a disaster. So we didn't do. We have no time. We have no time. We were doing sessions at like 8.30, 9 o'clock at night, rushing the kids to bed. And then we were sitting down for therapy, which didn't end up working out. Try reaching out to like a couple of therapists, but like, when do we have time? Well, I mean, if you could squeeze it in at 9 o'clock at night, like this is the time in your life where therapy is really important. Yeah. You have like, especially when you have totally different temperaments, it's really important to understand how the other person is operating and the pressure and stress that the other person is under. Like you're dealing with a lot on your plate. You know, she has a different temperament. Like the communication is so important that I would really like beseech you to try and find another therapist and give it a whirl. I understand you have no time, but a good therapist will bring you closer together and like help you communicate better and more effectively quickly. Like you will see changes quickly. So it sucks that you found a bad one, but you're gonna find a good one. I know that. and like you you need to make the time because it's your relationship I know and you know like you're both wanting different things she's wanting more sex you're not feeling it you're obviously you're breastfeeding you have two little kids I mean I'm done with that now you're done with the breastfeeding great great you're just dealing with different things and you're not you know you're not aligned but that doesn't mean you're not going to become aligned like it is this is an impermanent thing you know so you have to look at it like from a bigger picture and kind of look at it from like the 30,000 view perspective, like, oh, that's when we went through a really tough time. But also you have to open the communication with your partner about like how you guys can make improvements even without a therapist. Like, how can we better understand each other? I want us to be on the same page, but I'm just not in that moment right now. I'm feeling tired. I'm feeling depleted. And I know you're not feeling that in the same sense as I am. So like let figure out ways that we can more effectively communicate and carve out time where it just the two of you Yeah Yeah It just the same We had this for years the same cycle the same conversation the same. And break it down. What is that conversation? Will I'll be avoidant. She wants to feel wanted. So then in turn, she wants to feel wanted. It turns into anger where I like withdraw a little more. And it's just our, the way we behave with each other and communicate is just, it just clashes. So like right now, I said we were rock bottom 13 months ago for that email. We're kind of like on the top of the rock now, like a little plateau. We're in a better spot. Not great. We're kind of just, and people are like, oh, you have little kids. It'll get better. It'll get better. But we want to be better now. We don't want to be better three years from now. I'm like, oh, let's just be okay where we are. And I know my wife's not okay with that. I'm okay with that. So we just need a change and we just don't know how to get there. Right. Well, that's why it's important to find a therapist because you're not just going to change immediately without any help. You have to change your patterns and you need to both read the book attached because that talks about all what you're talking about. It talks about being an avoidant. It talks about what your wife is. Once you see it modeled for you, you're going to realize, oh, this is a pattern. Everything you're saying is a pattern, but that's going to be a great tool for you to both of you read that book. And it talks about different emotional patterns and different emotional attachments. But also you do want to get a therapist because you don't just heal things. It takes time. So you have to invest- Habitual stuff. Yeah. We're both kind of just weeding to- Right. That's not realistic. I know. It's not. Like do the work to get different results. You have to do something different to get a different results. Yeah. I know in my marriage, when I first did couples counseling, there are tools that a good therapist can give you to actually teach you how to have disagreements in a healthy way. So it's not this pattern that you've been having and you can actually disrupt those patterns. It takes a little while. It's not going to happen in two sessions. But yeah, I think Chelsea's right. I think this is the time where like you absolutely have to, even if it's nine o'clock at night, be seeing a therapist. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I did also want to touch on the sexuality thing. I think being lesbians, you're in the perfect position where if you're not feeling you want to be touched and your body is obviously being used for other things, which is kids climbing all over you, make her come. You don't have to have her touch you. You can quickly make her come. She needs it for the stress relief. You guys need it for the connection. And then if you're feeling it, great, keep going. But just make her come and you're good. I know. I know. I don't know why. Then we spend 20 minutes, 25 minutes talking about how I'm not in the mood when I could have just been doing that. Yeah. Yeah. Just make her come. She's like, I'm not in the mood for you to touch me tonight, but like, let me make you come. I mean, usually at that point I'm like, well, might as well. Yeah, but patterns, patterns need to be broken. Like you are the one capable of breaking a pattern. So for instance, that's a pattern. You arguing with 20 minutes or defending yourself for 20 minutes about why you're not interested could be resolved with you just doing something differently. I know, you're right, you're right. I know, I know. I'm so stubborn. So look at little things like that in your life and look at the things and the same reactions you have to things where maybe you don't feel seen or maybe, and even if you're not getting what you want, change your reaction to it and see if that changes the dynamic because it will. It's just the little things that I have to change. It's so hard once you're in the habit for so many years. It's hard to break that habit. But habits can be broken. And that's the good news. Yeah. Chelsea, do you want to address the microdosing shrooms and if that might be helpful? Well, yeah. I mean, I think microdosing is great. If you're are you currently are you getting off of your remeds? Did you say are you staying on them? I just started Lexapro a couple months ago. It is helping, but I want to be more on the natural side. But I just need something that I knew was going to work at this point. What I would advise, what I think you guys should do is microdose MDMA together, because that's going to bring you closer together and get rid of your egos. and couples do MDMA therapy are like, they have a whole different perspective once they do that because it's just love and a heart opener. Like you are loving and every good thing about them and yourself comes to the surface and all the fighting kind of falls away and you can be honest. So I think like, but that doesn't work when you're on antidepressants. MDMA, like the receptors that you use for antidepressants or that are used for antidepressants are the same receptors you would use for MDMA. And I'm not positive if that applies to mushrooms I think mushrooms are pretty much a free for all. So that can help you with your ADHD and that can help you with other things. But for the purpose of you guys coming together, I honestly think MDMA is the answer, but it's not going to work when you're on an antidepressant. Right. Well, I had this funny conversation with my therapist, my psychiatrist a few months ago, because I was going through this shit with my house and I was so irritated and so just spent. And he was like, why don't we just throw you on an antidepressant for like until this is done you know you're also going your hormones your hormones your hormones are all out of whack why don't we put you on an antidepressant i was like well doesn't that conflict with mdma my receptors for mdma and he's like how often are you doing mdma i'm like well it's a pretty big part of my lifestyle like i'd rather have the mdma than the fucking antidepressant for me like i need the shot of mdma every once in a while so i could remember oh yeah life is awesome you know things are great when you focus on them. So yeah, microdosing mushrooms seems to be like a really great tool for a lot of people. Definitely be open to things and be open to changing patterns of behavior. And that includes trying to microdose and trying to, you know, tinker with your medication and tinker with your patterns of behavior. So I think psychedelics are a really big tool in doing that and cutting off bad patterns of behavior. So if your wife is open to it and you know, you get to a place, then you should try and find some, a therapist that helps with that, that will work with you and do the MDMA. It's not like you're partying. It's like you're going and actually working through your problems with a counselor. Yeah. Yeah. I think we will both benefit like individually too. Yeah. But get that book first as a first step. Get the book attached. That will break down both of your habits. And then you, once you identify who you are and the kind of, you know, if you're an avoidant or if you're, what are the other two in that book? I'm having a hard time remembering if you're, uh, if you're like one is like secure. Oh yeah. If you're a secure, anxious, anxious avoidant are the three. Yeah. So yeah, the, yeah, your, your wife sounds like anxious and, and, and secure because if she gets mad at you for not being wanted, then that's anxious. And then that's also right. She, she probably, yeah. So I don't know, but read that book and, and use that as a tool and then just really focus on finding a therapist. Yes. All And don't worry about the time. You need the time. I know. You can put in the time for your relationship to be successful. Yeah, you're right. Yep. Right. All right. Thanks, Melissa. Will you follow up with us? Yes. Yes. Okay. All right. Thanks so much. Thanks. Thank you. Bye. Bye. Bye. I'm Nancy Glass, host of the Burden of Guilt Season 2 podcast. This is a story about a horrendous lie that destroyed two families. Late one night, Bobby Gumpright became the victim of a random crime. He pulls the gun, tells me to lie down on the ground. He identified Jermaine Hudson as the perpetrator. Jermaine was sentenced to 99 years. I'm like, Lord, this can't be real. I thought it was a mistaken identity. The best lie is partial truth. for 22 years only two people knew the truth until a confession changed everything i was a monster We have insight unlike many others. This season of The Traders may be the best we've ever seen. Listen to by Order of the Faithfuls on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Almost 30 years together, four kids, and some of reality TV's most unforgettable moments, we know a thing or two about living life out loud. We're taking you behind the scenes in our new podcast, Between Us, with me, Heather Dubrow. And me, Terry DeBrow. Between Us isn't about perfect lighting or curated Instagram grids. It's the unfiltered, behind-closed-doors conversations you wish you could eavesdrop on. Equal parts smart, funny, and a little bit scandalous. Every week, Heather will bring you an unapologetic take on the headlines, the trends, and the cultural moments everyone's texting about. And Terry will deliver insider beauty, health, and wellness insights you won't find on TikTok. Together, we'll tell the stories, spill the secrets, and share the hacks that keep life, marriage, and everything in between feeling fresh and fun. We may live in a gated community, but there's zero gatekeeping here. And plenty of, did they just say that moments? Listen to Between Us on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. I'm Anna Navarro, and on my new podcast, Bleep with Anna Navarro, I'm talking to the people closest to the biggest issues happening in your community and around the world. Because I know deep down inside right now, we are all cursing and asking, what the bleep is going on? I'm talking to people like Julie K. Brown, who broke the explosive story on Jeffrey Epstein in 2018. These victims have been let down time and time again. for decades and decades and decades by local law enforcement, by federal law enforcement, by administration after administration. The Justice Department, through I think we counted four presidential administrations, failed these victims. Listen to Bleep with Ana Navarro as part of the My Cultura podcast network. Available on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Okay, we'll wrap up with a little quickie here. Dear Chelsea, Sue says, I'm planning a 50th birthday trip with a few girlfriends this summer in Mallorca. I'm sure listening to Chelsea lovingly talk about Mallorca has subconsciously influenced my pick. I just started researching some options and had some questions, so naturally I knew who to ask. My question is, which side of Mallorca do you recommend for a fun girls' trip? Is the Palma side really crowded and crazy in the summer? Do you recommend the other side, like Alcudia. We are also trying to see if we can be there for the solar eclipse on August 12th. Hope to hear your Mallorca recs and hope to see another one of your shows soon. Thanks, Sue. Yeah, I would say Palm is really busy. Alcudia, that would be a good idea for a girls trip if you want to just kind of not be too crazy, but be crazy with each other, which is kind of my tri-hunted trip. Like I like to be the party, not go to a party. So if you're into making the party, I would go to Alcutia. If you're going, if you're looking to be in like a mess of people and have lots of options, then go to Palma. But there's other parts of the island that are quite, I mean, the island's massive. So there's lots of different places. There's Palenza, there's Daya, that's a little bit more quiet and sleepy, but it's also a great place to hang out with your girlfriends. So it's again, it's like, you know, what are you the party or are you going to find the party? great okay well that's our mini-sode for today thank you thank you hello goodbye bye okay guys i am officially on my high and mighty tour uh march 13th cleveland ohio march 14th columbus ohio march 15th cincinnati ohio and then march 20th is denver colorado march 27th portland maine march 28th providence rhode island march 29th springfield massachusetts April 10th is Chicago. I'll be at the Chicago Theater. April 11th, Indianapolis, Indiana. April 12th, Louisville, Kentucky. April 16th is Albuquerque, New Mexico. April 17th is Mesa, Arizona. April 23rd is Kansas City, Missouri. April 24th is St. Louis, Missouri. April 25th is Minneapolis, Minnesota. April 30th, Nashville, Tennessee. May 1st is Charlotte, North Carolina. May 2nd is Durham, North Carolina. May 6th, I'm doing Netflix as a Joke Festival. I will be in Los Angeles. That is a new announcement along with Atlantic City. May 15th, Saratoga, California. May 16th, Monterey, California. May 17th, Modesto, California. And then June 4th, Port Chester, New York. June 5th is Boston, Mass. And June 12th is Portland, Oregon. And then Seattle is June 13th. So suck on that, everybody. Go to ChelseaHandler.com for tickets. If you want advice from Chelsea, write in to Dear Chelsea podcast at gmail.com. Dear Chelsea is a production of iHeartMedia. Follow Chelsea on all socials at Chelsea Handler and find Catherine on TikTok at Flash Kadabra. Dear Chelsea is edited and engineered by Brandon Dickert, executive producer Catherine Law. Find full video episodes and minisodes now on Netflix and get tickets to see Chelsea live at ChelseaHandler.com. I'm Nancy Glass, host of the Burden of Guilt Season 2 podcast. This is a story about a horrendous lie that destroyed two families. Late one night, Bobby Gumpright became the victim of a random crime. The perpetrator was sentenced to 99 years until a confession changed everything. I was a monster. Listen to Burden of Guilt Season 2 on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Listen to by Order the Faithfuls on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. We're also husband and wife. It makes for some pretty entertaining episodes. Listen to Legally Brunette on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. This is Ryder Strong, and I have a new podcast called The Red Weather. In 1995, my neighbor, Anna Traynor, disappeared from a commune. It was nature and trees and praying. And drugs. So no, I am not your guru. Back then, I lied to everybody. They have had this case for 30 years. I'm going back to my hometown to uncover the truth. Listen to The Red Weather on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. This is an iHeart Podcast. Guaranteed human.