Hi, this is Kylie. I hope you're loving Lent with the Saints. Do you have any questions about anything you've heard so far? Well, we'd love to hear your questions and answer them in a special episode of Lent with the Saints. To tell us your question, ask your mom or dad to help you record it on lentwiththesaints.com slash questions. It's easy and a lot of fun. We'll choose a few of your questions and answer them in a special Sunday episode of Lent with the Saints. I can't wait to hear from you. Send us your questions now at lentwiththesaints.com slash questions. Milan, 384 AD. Eight years after leaving Tagaste, Augustine is a respected orator in far-off Europe where he holds a position in the Imperial Roman Court. But despite his achievements, his growing disbelief in truth pushes him into despair. From these dark depths, he discovers the words of another gifted orator who changes his life. The Saints. Adventures of Faith and Courage. Saint Augustine. Episode 4, The Cost of Sight. Listen to all the episodes and discover new shows at thesaintspodcast.com I couldn't see the truth, Lord. I had rejected the Manichees and all their hypocrisy. Yet I could not stop my mind's eye being plunged into the pit. But you were caressing my weary head, O God. You were closing my eyes to vanity, though I knew it not. And in this resting, I ceased from myself a little. And in my waking, I saw you, infinite. The Arians argued that Christ is unequal to the Father. But Christ himself said, The Father and I are one. Is he a deceiver, brethren, that he should claim to be what he never was? No. We alone are enslaved to such vanity. Away then with arguments where faith is required. O cup of heaven, fill us with simple faith, that we may sing the words of David. My lips shall rejoice in all my song to thee, and so too shall my soul whom thou hast redeemed. Amen. Now let us stand and pray. My goodness, as captivating as Virgil himself. Bishop Ambrose, your servant sir, may I have a word? You may have as many words as can be spoken in the next three minutes. Well then, my name is Augustine. I'm the chair of rhetoric in the imperial court. Yes, I've heard of you. They say you've a real way with words. So it seems to you. That was quite a homily in there. I'm surprised you've not gone the route of politics. In fact, by God's grace, I've escaped the route of politics. Governor, one year, bishop the next. That, my friend, is what we call baptism by fire. I'm sure the congregation is grateful for it. Your words are beautiful. The truth is inherently beautiful. Yes. I do disagree with what you said about the abandonment of reason, but I'm afraid you misunderstood. You said away then with arguments where faith is required yes Reason should not replace faith but neither should faith ignore reason This is the first time I heard such a thing Must be shocking for a man of intellect Intellectual, yes. When my heart isn't getting in the way. I see. Would you... would you teach me more about faith and reason, Bishop? I'm afraid I have no time for such things at present. I'll meet you anywhere at any time. Forgive me. It simply isn't a... Please, Bishop. I need... I'm desperate for answers. Be here at dawn. Tomorrow. Then your doctrine of redemption must be false, Bishop. Why do you say that? If the soul and the body are as interwoven as you say, the soul must be as wicked and unredeemable as the body. The body wicked? Forgive me, son, but your head is full of the river. Good things can be used in a wicked fashion. But that's not the same as being unredeemable, let alone inherently evil. But if something can be used in a wicked way, if it's corruptible, how can it be good? It's good because it's corruptible. Oh, now you're just using word tricks like the rest of us. If a thing is supremely good, it would be incorruptible. It's true. But the same would go if it were in no way good. Why? Because there would be nothing in it to corrupt. How could a fig rot unless it was first healthy and satisfying? Then... But all things decay. Then all things must be corruptible. But if that's a sign of goodness, it would mean that all things that exist are inherently good. But if evil exists... It doesn't. At least, not in the manner you're thinking. Evil isn't a substance. If it were, it would be good. Then what is it? It simply is not. It is the absence of what is, or what is meant to be, just as darkness is merely the absence of light. You're not inherently wicked, young man. You're just... corruptible. And every time we meet Aurora, a new reality. A new understanding of something that satisfies the intellect and stirs the heart. It's astounding and invigorating and frightening even to have so many things click into place at once. Every single... What? What's that smile for? I've not seen you this full of life in a long time, love. Come here a moment. I had nearly despaired of ever finding such truths. You've been patient and gentle amidst all my desperate searching. Thank you. Just promise me you'll keep going now that you've gotten this far. And that'll be payment enough. I promise. Oh, sorry. I didn't mean to intrude. Adiodatos. I was just about to go looking for you. Can you wash yourself up in the next five minutes? Well, sure, but... Then be quick about it. You're coming with me to the Basilica. Really? Bishop Ambrose is giving a series of lectures this evening. I want you to hear them. Excellent! But I've told Grandmother I'd help unpack the rest of her things. I'll help with your grandmother, Adiodatos. You go with your father. Go! Hurry along! Olympias is waiting for us there! What on earth? Father, what is this? I don't know. The soldiers. They're in the basilica. Augustine! Adiodaltus! Olympias! Thank heaven I found you. What is this What happened I have no idea Imperial soldiers have just arrived but I not Where Ambrose That the problem It seems he barricaded himself inside the basilica Alone? I don't... Father! There he is! On the terrace! Brothers and sisters of Milan! Loyal followers of Christ! Brothers! Sisters! The whisperings you've heard are true! Empress Justina has demanded that this basilica be turned over to the Arians. I tell you plainly, it is not mine to give, nor theirs to take. And I make this promise to you now. I will not give up anything whatsoever from the temple of God, which I have promised to protect. Hear me, soldiers of Rome. Only by force of weapon, even to the point of death, will you remove me from this holy place. For this is our fate, that the Lord Jesus Christ is mighty, and whatever the outcome, his will shall be fulfilled. I've never witnessed such a display of zealous faith before, Mother. Not apart from those who believe blindly. That is certainly not Ambrose. He would be the first to rebuke such a thing. Yet the zeal is there, to the point of total willingness to give up everything, even his life. I want that. God be praised. What's this? I'd have thought you'd jump for joy. I've never had more cause. And yet... What? Augustine, belief is the first step. If you truly wish to live a Christian life... Oh, I do. I know it's no simple task, but I'm ready for it. Augustine... You can help me, Mother. Me, and Ariodatos, and Aurora. Why do you cry? My precious boy, do you truly desire such things for yourself and your family? I do. Then... Then you have to say goodbye to Aurora. What are you talking about? You wish to follow Christ. that means leaving sin behind, whether it be heresy or unchaste relationships. And since you cannot marry the girl... Mother, how can I possibly... Son, I love you. I love Aurora. And I know you love each other. And that's why you have to do this. Christ awaits you both. But if you wish to reach him, you must walk away from everything, everything that prevents that. No matter how painful it is. Oh God in heaven! We'll be set in sail in a few minutes, folks. She'll be ready. Is Carthage home, miss? Yes. Well, this must be a happy departure then. I'll give a shot when it's time. He should keep his big nose out of other people's affairs. Hush now, Ariodatus. The boy's right, mother. Leave him be. I apologize. Go on, Ariodatus. Bring your things aboard. Can I help? Thank you, Olympias. I've got it. Just a moment, son. Before we board, may I have a private moment with your father? Sure. We wait on shore I remember the morning we met I was walking the city streets still newly free uncertain where I was going when I ran into a trouble-seeking country boy. I think he ran into you. He did. And he scolded me, and then he looked at me, and he apologized. And I held his gaze, and I knew him all at once. I saw the intensity, the confusion, the depth of his passion. And I wanted to understand it, to be a part of it. I wanted to fulfill it. Time to be on our way, miss. Please, give us another minute. Make it a quick one. And as fate would have it, I was able to be a part of that passion. He wanted me to be. He did. He does. But somehow, I never fulfilled it. He loved me, but his heart has always been... restless. Aurora. And I think I understand now that I can't fulfill it. No, no, I won't do this. Augustine. Please, forgive me. This is cruel, selfish. Augustine, after so many years, you've discovered at last what your heart has always been searching for. I won't have it. Not if this is what it costs. You promised me. You promised me you would keep going. I renounce that promise. I would never have made it if I'd known it would lead us here. But here we are. And if you did renounce it, if you did choose me, could you love me with all your heart, knowing that you've stopped walking toward what you believe to be true? No, you couldn't. And I could never forgive myself if I let you do that. I guess I've also found what I've been searching for. I understand your inner turmoil at last. The head knowing that this is best. The heart screaming in protest. The time is now, miss. I won't be a moment. Augustine, promise me one more thing. Anything. Take care of our boy. What? But he wants to go with you. He deserves the best that the world can offer. A freed slave can't give him that. You can. I promise you. Goodbye. My restless love. Aurora? Wait! Wait! Mother! No, Adiodratus! You must stay here! Agustin! Agustin, breathe. My heart is... bleeding. Olypius, it's bleeding. Mother, please! It'll be alright, love. Shh, shh. Agustin, my friend, it'll be alright. I don't play unless the game is all or nothing. What was that? Olympias. Yes. I need you to arrange something. Anything. Find us a place. Somewhere far. Private. I need to go away. I need to pray for the sake of my son. and Aurora. It's time for me to settle this once and for all. Hi, this is Peter Atkinson from The Merry Bakers. Tune in to episode five, A Heart at Rest, to hear the final episode of St. Augustine. Listen to all the episodes and discover new shows at thesaintspodcast.com.
