Re-Air: Danny Trejo: I Was As Sick As My Secrets

Hi, I'm Miami Alec. And I'm Jonathan Cohen. And welcome to our breakdown. You know, today we wanted to do something special. It's Alcohol Awareness Month. So we'd like to revisit a very special episode from 2023 with the one and only Danny Trejo. Now, you may know Danny from obviously the machete films, from Breaking Bad, Boba Fett, and if you're in LA Local, Trejo's Tacos, Trejo's Cantina, Trejo's Donuts, as well as his cookbooks. Danny opened up with us in a way that really we hadn't heard him talk about before, about the culture that he was raised in, how he began his alcohol use at a very early age, what early sobriety taught him and his transformation from convict, you know, someone who was in solitary confinement, to a beloved actor, author, and restaurateur. He also opens up about his relationship with a higher power how he developed that and his role as an inmate social catalyst while he was in prison, as well as the negative effects of toxic masculinity. We really thought this would be an appropriate conversation to re-air during Alcohol Awareness Month, where we're obviously focusing on the complexity around alcohol misuse and preventing alcohol-related problems, as well as reducing the stigma around help. If you or someone you know is struggling, please seek out peer support. There are recovery communities like Alcoholics Anonymous, as well as Al-Anon. There's professional treatment organizations. Check out the National Institute on Alcohol Abuse and Alcoholism, or many other rehab programs you do not have to suffer alone. Also, friendly reminder, check us out on Substack. Mine be Alex Breaktone on Substack. And now we hope you enjoy taking a listen to our episode with Danny Trejo. Break it down. Danny Trejo. What an incredible honor it is to have you here. First of all, I read your book. I'm just gonna say. I read, it is called Trejo, My Life of Crime Redemption and Hollywood. And I read it, and I have to say, and this is a completely superficial thing to say, you look freaking amazing. For the life that you lived, I expected you to crawl in here. You look like a young man. You were born during World War II. Yeah. In fact, the reason I was born in Maywood is because in 1944, the general hospital downtown was full of soldiers. When they took my mom to have me, it was full, so they had to take me to Maywood. I don't even know. I'm from Los Angeles. Where's Maywood? Well, they used to call it Billy Goat Acres. Now it's out by Compton out that way. Wow. So there's so many places that we could start. I want to say, first of all, I know you as an actor, because I've seen most every movie, I think that you've been in pretty much. And you were also in a lot of films at a time in my life when as a person who grew up in LA, you were part of many films that really described a lot of the complexity of the Chicano. We called it Chicano then, but the Latino-American experience and the Mexican-American experience here, which is a huge part of Los Angeles. Los Angeles. And then I knew that you had a restaurant. And I kind of was like, how did that all come together? But then I read the book. And I think that there were things I knew about you kind of here and there. But the first half of the book is very difficult. It is very painful. You wrote it with... I don't know how to pronounce his name. Donald Loge. Donald Loge. Donald. Is that Irish? Yeah. Okay. So you wrote it with someone as it were. But you have... Who is a great writer. A great writer. But a great writer is only as good as the stories that Danny's bringing in. And I got to say that that's... Like when I gave this... The two chapters to Maeve, my kid's mom. That's who I was with the longest. And she read it. She's the one that said, it's like talking to you. So that's what... Because people have been telling me to write a book for years. And I don't use what I'm prolific. I don't know what that means. But they would always change stuff. And Donald just caught the essence of it. And it's beautifully written. And the first half... I mean, my heart kept catching in my throat. Because you describe a legacy in your family that had a lot of beauty and a lot of richness and a lot of incredible personalities. And also, as you said, a lot of pain. And you... I don't want to say you were victimized as a child because I know you don't like that word. But things happened to you before you were 11 years old that set you on a course, you know, that many don't come back from. And that many in your family did not come back from. And, you know, I'm not going to ask you to sort of like recount... Like this is a book that people should read. And also the pain... You know, what you reap in tragedy you so joy from. And there is a redemptive aspect to both your life and your story. But for people who don't know what, let's say, the first 25 years of your life were like... Can you just kind of walk us through? The first 25 years of my life were full of secrets, full of shame, full of violence, full of crime, full of drugs. I mean, that was just... I had an uncle that turned me on to grass on the 8th, gave me a fix of heroin when I was 12. And it's funny because when I talked to like psychiatrists, well, that was abuse. Oh, I thought it was sharing. I mean, you know, he was sharing this... Because, you know, especially if an older sibling in your family is smoking weed, you know, he's not turning the younger siblings on to be mean or vicious. He is doing what he does. And he didn't do it viciously. It was like, I was there. Hey, let's get him loaded. And that's what happens, you know, and people don't... You know, I could never... It was funny. I remember when my uncle tried to make amends to me, right? Right before he died trying to make amends. I said, shut up, man. If you wouldn't have turned me on to grass, I'd have probably been a Republican somewhere. Like, you know, reading the paper telling my kids to shut up. I don't know, you know, but I don't know what would have happened. But everything that happened to me happened the way it was supposed to, to get me to where I... And I realized that, like, when I go to a high school and I step onto a stage, it gets quiet, no matter what high school, because they want to hear what I have to say because they know I've been where they've been. It's, you know, you can be a therapist, a psychiatrist, or anything. And you have to get kids' attention, and it's impossible because they don't have any. You know, and then you have to keep it, and it's impossible because of number one. They don't have any. Now, your time, you know, in your teens, I mean, not even your teens, your tweens, your tweens and your teens, you know, when you talk about violence, like, and I really, you know, what Jonathan and I do here is we're not looking to bring out, you know, the most sound-bitey, crazy part of someone's story. But what I will say is you learned, you were conditioned as a child to use rage and to use violence to survive. And that was true before you even set foot in your first prison or your first jail. Absolutely. I had an uncle, my uncle Gilbert, who was a boxer, who was a, what you call a puncher. He's a guy that could hit you and knock you out. He was just heavy-handed. And so he taught me immediately. And he said, if somebody starts talking, suck them, you know, because you might as well, because you're going to fight anyway, you know, or if people are talking back and forth, let's stop it. I'll talk about your mother because that's the end result. Right. You know, that's okay. Now we're here. I talked about your mother now what? And that's what he taught me how to do so. And then we would stop all that and just punch first. And, and Gilbert in particular, I mean, that name is throughout this book. Like that and like my heart just like, oh, but Gilbert in particular, you know, you had a lot of his lessons. Like I'm going to ask you this question. What, when you first are put in jail in your life, what are you like, what is going on in Danny's head? Like, how, I don't mean to say like, how did it feel? But like what, I know that you had to like go into survival mode, but like you talk about how a lot of your shame turned to rage. So what, what is that like? And how old were you the first time you went in? Oh God, I don't put 12, 12, 13. Yeah. Sorry. I'm remembering your book. Yes. But it's, it's kind of like, I had a mentor. I had a teacher who had already been here. I feel sorry for kids that all of a sudden just end up in juvenile hall and don't understand. That guy giving you a dirty look, you got to give him the finger before he looks too long, you know, to let him know, hey, I'm nobody to mess with. And, and if you get in a fight, try to bite somebody immediately so that they know, wait a minute, this guy don't want to fight. He wants to eat me. You know, it's like, so the, the, because people, people aren't afraid of tough guys. Tough guys just slap them just like, you know, crazy people you really don't want to mess with. And so somebody's trying to bite you. You know, it's like you remember that you have bad dreams about it. Really. And so that's what he said. If somebody's too big to scrap him, bite him or, or, or suck him. And, and you, you learn how to go. Like most people argue and then you go to the court and you go to court and you go to court and you go to court and you go to court and you go to court. you and then they get angry and then they fight. Correct. Okay, well, if you just go from right now to rage, people aren't expecting that way. What happened to the argument and the anger, you know what I mean? And that shock value is intimidation, correct? Exactly. But the whole concept of fighting is intimidation. You know, if I can ask you, please, man, please look, I don't want to hurt you. It's like, wait a minute, what is this guy saying? You know, if you have one hand in your pocket and you're saying, please, come on, I don't want to hurt you. Whether you have something in your pocket or not, doesn't matter. The thought is like, uh, what's he got in his pocket? And I had so many secrets and so much rage. I watched my mom have an affair for years and I had to, my dad threatened to kill me if I ever did. You know what I mean? So it's like, wait a minute, I'm caught here. You know, so I had to lie and say, no, I didn't ever seen it, you know, to my dad. And that, and you talk about that later in the book, you kind of were the holder of, there were many, many secrets and we're as sick as our secrets, but you were the holder of this whole thing right there. We are sick as our secrets. Yeah. And I was like, what, when I wrote that book, unbelievable, I didn't know. And Maeve was the one that said, oh, this is great. Yeah, this is great. So I was like, oh, I got in trouble. What about your mom? What about your dad? What do you mean? What about my mom? That's her story. Why do you think you've been divorced four times? Wow. You know, why do you think you couldn't trust me to go to the store? When you're in kind of that, that environment, you know, where you have the ability to use intimidation, to use anger, to use violence. You know, the, like I said, the first half of the book, you know, really details all those ups and downs. And one of the things, you know, they tried to get you sober many times, you know, whoever they were. And also, you know, one of the things that I really appreciated about your book is, you know, we hear a lot about prison reform. We hear a lot about how, and I don't mean to get political, but I'm going to, you know, a system that is more abusive on the inside than it is on the outside is not actually going to rehabilitate anyone. It's actually going to create more problems. I mean, I think that's safe to say. But you know, the method of kind of survival, you know, that you went into, I think, you know, it just layered on top of all the shame that you talk about, all the fear, you know, and all the feelings, which you talk about really not having access to. But one of the things you said is that when, when people would, you know, when you'd go to meetings, when you'd be sent to go to these 12 step meetings and you'd say that guys would start with like, well, I drank for 50 years and you said you would stop listening and all you would hear was, well, I got more time to go then. Right. Exactly. What was that like? It was, you know, it's so funny, but when people would say that, you know, I mean, I was 20 years old. You don't know how can I identify with this? Wow. You're 20 years old. But the problem is it's not just the logistics. It's the way you drink. It's the wait a minute. I'm drunk three days out of the week and I'm 15 years old. You know, something is wrong. I started. Got it. And Latino families, there's always a lot of beer around in any kind of. So kids are like drinking the and it's cute. You know what I mean? It's sometimes it's cute and but unbeknownst to us that they might be afflicted with that chemical imbalance. And that just sets off the lumbries. We call it the worm, you know, and I've seen, I've seen it happen. I've seen moms. I remember in a baseball game, me and my son were in a baseball game. Right. And my son sober, too. Right. And we're at a baseball game and my daughter was a cheerleader. That's right. I don't like watching and the baby started crying and immediately mom put a candy in its mouth. My son, oh, there's a future. You're just automatic, you know, because there's, you know, because the sugar cure every illness. It's a sugar. You know what I mean? And and that's why, you know, when you first start detoxing off of alcohol. You take sugar, right? And then you got to be careful, you know. And you, I mean, you you literally have have stories in here of just like taking a handful of pills and washing them down with beer and then seeing what happens. And then like waking up two days later, I think that was one of your I can. I think you said like, oh, I'll be a controlled drinker. And then like literally two days later, you're like, there's a bunch of cocaine and guns in the back of the car. And I don't know how I got here. But I'm going to grab the guns and start running. That would be a Dennis. Yeah, that's my best friend. Right. So so eventually, you know, through, I mean, there's so many miracles. Yeah, go ahead. The guy I bought those guns from, right? The guy named Jerry, but no way. Richard Berry, Richard Berry. I was he's dead, but I bought those guns from. We got those guns from. So we took him a lot of drugs and got guns. We were in San Quentin together. When I was in San Quentin, we used to protect him because he had the bag. Well, and something that occurs, you know, and really God is like the first page of your book and God is the last page of your book. So, you know, there's a lot of there's a lot of divine force in your life. But you are a person who kind of has lived from kind of one miracle to the next, meaning there there's so many. And I think this is the pain that you also feel and the love that you share with your incarcerated brothers and sisters that you talk about. There are so many stories that don't turn out like yours, meaning there are many where there's luck and there's a miracle. But you literally it's like you jumped on Lily pad to Lily pad of miracles. Did you, you know, obviously you got sober and you got sober, young, youngish. Did you instantly identify with like, there's a God, like did the higher power concept really speak to you right away? You know, I got to say it's OK. For a long time I was at war with God. I couldn't understand him. You know, I mean, my grandma, every time I'd fall down, skin my knee, she would say, they castigodios. That means like God punished. Come on, I'm seven. Give me a break. What do you mean? But anytime you got hurt, it was God punishing you for what you did. And they've done nothing yet, you know. But so there was like a cross message there. And when I got the first time I ever heard about a loving God was in youth authority and a meeting that I because I I accidentally stepped into a a meeting when I was 15 years old. And then when I got to youth authority, I went to the meetings to see girls and there was women. So we wouldn't sign up. And and it was like, you know, this guy was talking about I have a loving God. He doesn't punish me. I thought, wow, well, that's cool. You know, because mine had always been and he didn't say he was Christian. He was Jewish. He was a loving God. OK, that's what I want. And it's so funny. After that, every penitentiary I would go to. I would hear you. Alcoholics Anonymous is now meeting in the Protestant Chapel. And then also Protestant because the Catholics didn't like the higher power. Yeah, it had to be Jesus or nothing. That's kind of their bumper sticker in there. Jesus or nothing. So, you know, yes, I love Jesus. But it was like kind of like the whole deal. You know, and and and so and it always talked about that loving God. You're not punishing. You know, you didn't God didn't make you an alcoholic. You just have that gene. And the minute if you would have never drank, well, you'd have been a workaholic. Or if you never drank, you would have been a readaholic. Sure. I mean, so and I drank, you know, I use drugs. You didn't just kind of like drink and do drugs. Like you were a heroin user. So sobriety, that kind of sobriety is very, very painful, meaning that that process of letting your body experience the world without that kind of support. I mean, because that I mean, it's a crutch. I have to. What was that? What was early sobriety like for you? Well, I have to tell you, OK, so I was hooked when I was in prison. We're pretty well hooked on booze and on on. People may not know you. People do drugs in prison. Like it exists. Right. We had six kids dying. Juvenile Hall. You're fentanyl right now. Right. The rest of the country. And it should. It shouldn't be like that in so many ways. Rest of the world. But that is not a safe place. Right. What is it? Every society that has fallen has fallen behind drugs. China goes all the way back. And now all the countries, Russia, China, they're all sending drugs to Mexico and Mexico, setting up here, the killer drugs. Maybe we should just build a bigger wall. Just kidding. OK, so go ahead. Early sobriety. No. And so. So it was like I got sober and clean in prison in 1968. And. I was blessed to be in the hole. I got clean there. I got out. I went to the whole May. I got out in August and. And I was clean and I had promised. Let me die with dignity. I'll say your name every day. I'll do whatever I can for my fellow inmate. And I remember distinctly saying inmate because I thought I'd never get out of prison. And I got out. I started like trying to help. Yeah. I mean, this this is my favorite part of your story. Trying to help. I didn't know how do you guys would come up? Hey, well, you know, get a. I remember one time I told a guy get to. He was tattooing and he owed a lot of money. So he had to tattoo. I said, well, just get some points. You'll get enough points and get one way at the door. So when you can tell when the cops coming in, I don't got that much bread. I'll pay for that one. You know, so in other words, to any way, he paid his debt. And they made me inmate social catalyst. That was a new job that they did. The the counselor and the captain. And what I would do is inmates would actually come to me and say, this is the problem I have with this inmate. Blah, blah, blah. Why were you good at this? I you know what? Because I was the lightweight and the welterweight champion of that institution. So you were kind of like a celebrity anyway. You know, but there's more. And I mean, like plenty of people try and help other people or think that they should. There was really some there's there is something about you. And I do believe it's what also has made people so love you as a performer. There's a real like there's a there's a humanness to you. There's very approachable. Yeah, but you don't say you don't want to be that loved in jail. No, I know. 100 percent. But what I'm saying is like like plenty of people talk plenty of people talk to you when you were in prison. I think what I hear you saying, Danny, is you were respected and maybe even feared based on your boxing. Yeah. And then from there, so you would have the respect to be listened to. And then what I hear my I'm saying is that there's an authenticity about you so that when you're giving advice, people think that you have their best interest at heart and you're not trying to like steer them in the wrong direction. You know, I would never give anybody advice that I couldn't take. Right. You know what I mean? And it's like so it's kind of just knowing, hey, look, I know your situation. And this is the best thing we could do. And I was like the best thing I could do. And I guess that was one of the reasons for whatever. Also, you're a good talker. OK. Were you always were you always like that? I was getting in trouble. Tell me more. You had a big mouth. Well, I always stated opinion. You know, I mean, that's not good. I had a lot of teachers that didn't like me. In fact, Mrs. Finley, what does she say? She said, Danny, there's a special place in heaven for anybody that's going to work with you. That's my first grade. Well, I think, again, that that really is such a touching part of your story. When I went when I went to the parole board in July of 1969, they said, Trejo, we're sick of you. You know what? We don't know what game you're playing now, but you haven't had a beef in 11 months and you didn't go 11 days without a beef. So but we're tired of you. Bring us back a life sentence because I didn't have a life sentence. I only had a 15 tops. So in other words, I only had to do 15 years. Just bring us back a life sentence so we don't have to deal with you. When you have a when you have a like a 15 top or a 10 top, that means you have to come back to board every year. If you have a life top. Yeah, come back every five, 10 years. So they said, bring us back a life sentence. I'll never forget that as long as it's like they're saying there's no hope for you. That's right. You know, that's. And I remember coming out and the first day I was out, Frank Russo picked me up. We went to a meeting next day was a Sunday. I'm standing outside from my mom's trying to think, OK, now, how am I going to be a nice guy? I have robbed every house in this neighborhood. I've stolen every lawnmower. Don't just broke into every car. And I remember this lady pulling out her trash, because this is 1969. They would have big tubs and you would just fill them, pull everything in it. I remember going to help her and I remember what she said. She said, can't even know me robots, please. She just screamed at me. I said, shut up. I got mad. I'm going to help you. I pulled her trash out and I went and got her other trash can. But I could feel her eyes on me. She knew I was going to break for that horizon. Steal something I did not. But the trash. And I just remember feeling good about it. And that's that was it. I took the trash out for a long time. You have so many beautiful stories also of those days of your recovery. You know, you had men who believed in you and you had men who didn't give up on you. Johnny, and that's right. And, you know, you you had so many, you know, kind of I mean, started kind of as odd jobs, you know, and you were told, like, keep your hands busy. Right. Yeah. Like do labor. Did that was that like a huge I mean, do you feel like that was a game changer for you? You know what? We started me and a kid named Danny Levittoff started a gardening business. I love this kid. Frank Russo, right? D&D you call it yourselves. Frank Russo took me to this youth program because all these kids were they were kind of like, you know, well to do kids that that judge Hughes from Van I's helped Frank start. And so they all looked up. They all love my day. It's so funny because I thought, well, Frank says they like your tattoo. Shut up. But they would listen and and Danny Levittoff taken so much acid. He was just out to lunch, right? But but he got arrested for armed robbery. Robbie Jack in the box. That's right. And the way he got arrested, he was walking down Van I's Boulevard. He had just robbed one and he stashed the gun and stashed the money, but he forgot to take the ski mask off. Walking down. What happens when rich Jewish kids try to rob a jacket in the box? OK, it's not what we're made for. So so. But you know, I just fell in love with we like so I would send him. We started a gardening business. I'd send him to the to the door and he'd knock. Hi, you know, you know, man, yeah, do you have a lawnmower? Yeah. Do you have bags? We'd borrow all their equipment and then go more other lawns and then come more theirs and we were doing pretty good. And then everything good that has happened to me has happened as a direct result of helping someone else. So the next amazing thing that kind of happened in this chapter of your life, which already I mean, at twenty four, twenty five, you kind of had a new a new start, you know, and in many ways, you know, you're a baby when you come into program like that. You're a baby, you're learning to walk and you're learning to talk. And you literally heard about a dude who did background extra work on sets. This was this was later. Right. First, a guy named Jimmy Beena called me up and he ran a program called the Narcotics Prevention Project down in, you know, I've been wanting to get into this, right? And so he called me in for an interview and I went in there and they talked and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, and they hired me. And I thought it was like my counseling skills. But then he said, Danny, you know what? We got a lot of dope things outside selling dope. We got to get them out of here. Oh, OK, so they hired me from muscle. I started like telling guys, hey, you know, you got to go and they all knew me from Ben's interest. They don't OK, I'll go. So they would go down the street and go go ahead and sell dope down there. It didn't matter. So I'm damn, I thought you. Got me for counseling. And then I was the only one that had insurance on my car. So I transported people back and forth to the to the hospital. But I did that till I got out and that was started 73. I did that till, man, 1985. And then 1985, one of the kids I was working with called me up and said, hey, there's a lot of blow down here on my job. I thought it was a work in a warehouse. So I went down to support him and it was the movie set of a movie called Runaway Train, John Voight and Eric Roberts. That's right. I ran into a guy named Eddie Bunker, who I happened to be in prison with, who was the captain's clerk, which is the most powerful job in prison at that time. If you had a guard that was messing with you, you could give Eddie a hundred bucks and he would transfer that guard. Wow. Because all he had to do was just pull up, sign this and the captain would sign it. And all of a sudden that guard would be like midnight tower to six, you know. That's who I'd be in prison, John. Oh, God, I'd love him. Oh, yeah, absolutely. Eddie was we called him the brain. You know what I mean? And in fact, he made a fortune writing rits because a writ has to be grounded, grammatically correct and in the language of and he knew how to do it. So he would come and say, you know, he tried like a 50 bucks to read it, to read your transcript, a hundred bucks to tell you what writ you had. And then, you know, a hundred to write them. That this guy comes up and says, do you want to be in this movie? That's what I got to do. He said, do you want to be an extra? I said, extra what? He says, can you act like a convict? I'm thinking solid dad, San Quentin, Folsom, Chino, Sierra. I'll give it a shot. You know, they give me a brief shirt. I took off my shirt and I got that huge tattoo. Yeah, there she is. This tattoo says prison. You could put your shirt down. OK. You understand? This just take it off. Just take it off. That tattoo says prison. Yeah, you've been in prison, you know, so I'll never get it goes like this. He goes, wait. I'm trying to figure out what gang sign is that? Yeah, I thought he was giving me a gang sign. So I gave him a Goyma. You know what I mean? And he said, leave your shirt off. So I'm standing there looking at this old guy. I hate saying that. This guy was about 65, right? Spring chicken right now. And so and he's looking at me and then he comes over and he goes, hey, you're Danny Trail. And he's Danny. I saw you in the lightweight and the wealthway tied up in Quentin. I said, you're Eddie Blanker. I knew this guy. Wow. And we were in prison. That's what are you doing here? Eddie says, I adapted the screenplay. I didn't know what that meant. See, because they had neither do neither do screenplay writers. OK, they had they had John Boyd, right? Our cow, I a cow had written runaway train. They had him as a wife killer, like killed his wife because she had an affair. Well, you can't be a hero in prison. Kill your wife. You understand? Now you kill her boyfriend. That was like, all right. That's a bad dude. I like the hierarchy of morality here. Makes sense. But so Eddie, it's like, you know, it just doesn't. You kill your wife. Come on, mother, your kids. And so so you you they Eddie changed it and made John Boyd an armed robber. Some robbers are seen as, you know, hierarchy in prison. And and he changed it. So he told me and he said, what are you doing? I said, you know, they're going to give me 50 bucks, right? They like a convict. We both laugh because we've been doing that for free forever. You know, I mean, and he said, you know, well, I did. We need somebody to we need somebody to train one of the actors out of box. And I said, what's it pay? And he says, three 20 a day. And when he said that, I said, I bet you on Skype beat up homes. No, that's a hit. Come on, I wasn't making three 20 a week as a drug counselor. I bet you on Skype beat up. He goes, no, Danny, wait, hold on. This guy's really high strung. He's already socked two people. I said, Eddie, for three hundred twenty, give him a stick. I don't make that for I made that in a week, you know. And so I started training an actor named Eric Roberts, how to box. Wow. For a movie, runaway train. And the Eric goes, a movie star. Yeah. OK. Movie stars are dicks. All right, I'm sorry. Very entitled and and Andre was a Russian aristocrat. His grandfather wrote like some Russian national anthems. And this was his first American movie. And he was having like, you know, because movie stars can say, oh, hell with you. I'm going to my trailer. I don't like this shit. And I go and sit in his trailer and everybody's like, OK, now what do we do? You know, with movie stars, you have to have an alternate plan. So in case he turns into a bitch, you got to like you got to like, well, we can shoot this. No, you do. That's what a good director does. I started training Eric and Andre saw that Eric wanted to learn feudalistic skills, right? And. And he started doing what I told him to do. And so when they wanted him to like come to the set, the Danny you go get here. I was supposed to only be there two days, right? Because the boxing match was supposed to be another. And it wasn't the canceled it, put it off. Other like two weeks and he'd go get it. I'd go get Eric. Donate. You became his handler. You without even knowing it. Right. And so I became the social code. Now what he got? The sober coats. Anyway, but before I started Anna. And so we got through this and. Andre came and says, you be in movie. You fight Eric in movie. And then he holds me like this. And you be my friend. Now, if you're in prison, you don't like people to say be my friend. Or touching your face and holding it like that. It's kind of like, does that mean we got a shower together? You know, I mean, it's kind of very. So I turned to Eddie and Eddie looked at me and then he walked away. And I said, Eddie, I'm going to train the kid because he kissed me on both cheeks and walked away. I'm going to train the kid. But if I'm going to be kissing that old man, I want more money. He's European. So I didn't know they kissed. And then and then. If I would have known what that old man did for me, I'd have come and washed his back. OK, I got a sad card. You know, that changed my entire life. Well, and so, so, you know, again, like these are all just like these little miracles, these little like things and places. But, you know, there's there's something you're a very you're a very charismatic person. And so it's kind of like it's true. Like I all these instances, these don't just happen to anyone. It happened because also you were you were in this environment where you were offering something the way that you offer it. So what what what happened? And, you know, I'm trying to make a long story short because like I want to get to your present life too. But what happened kind of from that one experience is that you sort of catapulted into, you know, what you described as you'd been acting your whole life. You know, you'd been acting to survive. You'd been acting not scared, not scared. But you you became this this presence, you know, in in films and in television. And these these very iconic roles and like you you're the face of so many people's image of that guy who played the convict, the inmate, the gangster. People now don't even know that I was in prison. It's so weird. Like God, you're a great actor. You really you really act like a kind of what. But I don't I don't tell him. And it's so funny. Like I said, everything good that has happened to me has happened as a direct result of helping someone else in 1991. I did a movie called Bloody and Blood Out. All right. And we did it in the Northern Reception Center, which is Nortoniel's, which North and South don't get along. OK, two guys were there from the South, both were in blue, which I thought was insane. Because right they're red, right? And so I went up to one of them and said, what's wrong with you? It's like, we got to represent. You know, they're cool. You know, we don't, you know, as long as you don't get too out of line, you'll go fight. They won't stab. You know, it's OK. So. Mario, I mean, the guy named Mario Castillo, show you how God works. And I tell him and talk about staying clean, staying sober. Hey, this is the way to go. Blah, blah, blah. So he does about eight more years in and out of prison. And then I run into him. In an archaic prevention, I mean, an archaic, synonymous convention, start talking to him. Now I'm clean. I took your advice. Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Eight and a half years ago, he saved my son's life. You know, that's how it worked. Do you understand? That's how I know. I know there's a God. I know it works. Stay on the right path. The right path is helping everybody you can. That's it. We got. That's what we do. Easter, anything. It doesn't matter. Just. And it would just. So I love it when people come to like, like feeding, feeding people on on Christmas and we do it all year long. You know, we work with the Polly Project, go down and take foods. Anything. And just like, you have to stay above the. Sure. Above the norm. Yeah. I don't know. You just got to just, you know, it's like help. Oh, close. You give them to somebody that ain't got clothes. You know what I mean? Just whatever. And it's where did you where did you learn that? The first day I was out of prison on when I helped that lady with her trash can. I just felt good about it. That's all. That's all. I just felt good. And I said, I want to keep feeling like this, even though she was yelling at me, don't come back into my yard. I know you're going to steal something. Didn't matter. It was like. So, you know, you you. You've been part of so many people's, you know, lives in. You know, in in mainstream films, also, there's a there's a whole section of the book about, you know, an interaction you had with Edward James, almost. And, you know, I also think that there's something really special about like the integrity that you've brought to a lot of the roles that you play. You know, a lot of people have seen you in really like fun parts. And, you know, you've done some great cameos and, you know, you let you. You have a good sense of humor about yourself. But there's also, you know, these places throughout the book and throughout your life where you you literally do not forget your experience or where you came from. And yeah. And I wonder if you could talk a little bit about that. You can't. Especially in this day and age, it's like so easy to like do something wrong. It's so easy to like get mad and road rage and bump somebody's car. All of a sudden, you're back in the mix and I watch people. You know, I'm driving. I see somebody around. Be I was there was a lady. Oh, God, I pray for her every day that she was. The road rage road. She gives some guy the finger. But what the guy do? Bow bow and kills her kid. You know, and it's like she's got to live with that. And so every time I think about his. It's so funny. My little cousin Gilbert, he just finished. He did 38 years, right? We me and Mario got him out of prison. Dr. Governor Newsom and Anna. And he was pulled into a driveway and this guy's what? And Gilbert said, Gilbert's killed about three people in prison. Beat up about I don't know how many. And this guy wants to challenge. For a parking spot. I mean, it was like so funny. And yeah, he went around, you know, people don't know. You don't know what kind of crazies are out there. There's people out there crazy. You're in me. That's what scares me. I want to ask you about there's a couple a couple of quotes. I'd love to ask you about if you don't mind from from the book. So there's something I might cry here, just we can all cry together. So you talk about. You talk about solitary confinement. I believe it was it was 1966 and. Sorry. And you're talking about. You're in a six by 10 cell, you know, and it's got this iron door and you're not allowed to have contact with anyone, right? So you get food twice a day. You said the food was good. This is in Folsom. And so you did a lot of things, you know, physically to basically to keep yourself from going crazy. And, you know, for those of us who care both about the prison system and mental health and the intersection, you know, solitary confinement is one of the most brutal inhumane, absolutely. Disgusting policies that that have been put in place. And that's like the biggest understatement of the universe. But. You did something with your mind. And this really, this was so fascinating to me. You said that you you had, I'm going to let you tell it. I'm going to let you tell it. I'm going to let you tell it. What the. When I was there after all the push-ups and all the sit-ups, all the, you know, you're done, all that. It's like you have to, you have to go crazy. To keep them from making you crazy, to keep the silence and to keep the bugs to keep and and against to a point where if you see a cockroach, you're not sure. Is that real? So if you grab it, no, it's real. You know, so. But I started doing like, I remember the movie, The Wizard of Oz, you know, and. I started doing that, you know, and the lovely pup kids, all that and and. And I remember the guard would come by and sometimes I'd be in the middle of my did you kill my sister? Yeah, and the eyes going nuts. You know, I mean, and then the other one that I loved was the hunchback of Notre Dame, but the the one with the. The original, the original one, right? The one was Selma Hayek was like, wow. No, but these were these were two classic films, very like classic iconic films. Also, she gave me water. Right. Well, and the hunchback of Notre Dame also this this character who is. Marginalized, rejected, mocked, you know, mistreated, right? And so so and that and then The Wizard of Oz, which, you know, is is the ultimate. It's a dream fantasy. And also it's, you know, it's a very trippy movie. Like, you know, it's a very trippy movie. So these two movies, you they became you said they became like just a cycle in your head. They were they were my therapy. The more I could remember the better I felt. You know, I mean, and I remembered I remember the shoes rolling up and going. I did little stuff that I just totally remember. And then and then in the hunchback of Notre Dame, thank you. And you have to understand this the whole cell block and I by myself, you know, I mean, and there's what there's 25 cells on this side, 25 cells going down and there's only one time in it. You know, enough to think you married. God will shut up, Trio. I think about that you were a kid, you know, I think about that kid. And then I think about the experiences that you've had on screen. And how you you. You're that you're the same. Like we're all the same person, right? I mean, like take your darkest moment in your life. That's who you are at your highest moment in your life, too. Right. Like that's that was you. But what I mean, the fact that you've also maintained, you know, your sobriety, you've built a business, you've built a food, a food community and business that is, as you said, a testament to your culture, you know, of welcoming people, of having them sit at your table. What what do you think? Like what do you credit with getting you from that cell, you know, to tell them where you are in your life? I just I just have to say that everything good that has happened to me has happened as a direct result of helping someone else. I got into the restaurant business helping a director named Craig Moss, great director, who had this movie that he wanted to do. And it was called Badass. And I didn't really want to do I was waiting for another high budget movie over here. I only had to wait another month. And and if I got into this, I wouldn't be able to do that. And but my agent Gloria kept saying, you know what, this might turn into something really, really big. It's a good. So we went in and did that movie and it turned into a trilogy. So it was great. But I met a director. I'm in a producer on that movie named Ash Shaw, who saw that I like good food. I won't eat processed food. I won't go to Mickey D's. I won't jack. I mean, I just I eat good. I eat with 78. You better eat. And so on the film, he saw that if the low budget movie, they'll go, go get 50 jacks or go get, you know, it's a, you know, it's not like the best catering in the world. So I would get like my salad or I'd get I'd get some good food somewhere and he saw that. He's Danny, why don't you open a restaurant? Wow. Jokingly, I said, trade those tacos because that's what I used to piss my dad off with all the time. Because in the fifties, women didn't work and my mom was great cook no matter what what, what, me and my mom, she always cook and and I would say, mom, we should start a restaurant. My dad was a jerk because women didn't work. So this is a great place to lead into really towards the end of the book. You talk about, you talk about toxic masculinity, someone, you know, and it's like, and you said like, what is this term? You know, and it was the person who helped you write this book who said that even though you were, you know, free of so many patterns, this is what you said. I was 74. It's time you wrote this. I was 74. I was finally understanding the engine driving so much of my behavior. It was a hard V eight from the hood as much as I hated the way my father and uncles were their machismo, their chicanismo. I was a charro just like them, unfaithful to my wives, violent toward other men, angry, guilty of playing the big shot. I knew I'd made great strides in other areas. You say you're clean and sober. You had helped so many people, but you said somewhere down in my core, I still carried a deep fear about being vulnerable and weak and being fucked over that immediately manifested itself in anger and control. You say I was a bad man on the hardest prison yards, but the most terrifying thing I ever had to face was my own emotions. I'd be afraid if I opened that door, it might never close. You know, you're a father and your your kids have had their own struggles. And as you said, you've had your own experiences with women and not always at your own fault, meaning a lot of it was your own fear or insecurity. Why? OK, so what is it about kind of the emotional part of you that you finally had to learn this late in life that was so hard to get in touch with until now? I have a story when I was when I was put my daughter in rehab and I was laying down the law was laying down the law. And then you're going to do that. And you know, I'm taking that house and this and I'll have your car and blah, blah, blah, blah, that I said something and fine. And she said, no, wait, no. And I would. I peed. OK, I completely peed. OK, and I was trying to figure out what to say. Thank God my son was there because he said, no, wait, Danielle, this we're going to do blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, and took over. And then afterwards when she left, you know, he said, Dad, I finally seen you pee. You pissed yourself, Dad. I've seen you back down monsters and then he'll made you pee. And I realized it like, wow, that's my vulnerable spot right there. You know what I mean? But anyway, it all worked out. What are you like emotionally now? Like, what is it like to be in touch with your feelings? It's terrible. It's who wants to cry away. Nobody, you know, only weak guys cry when Bambi's mom died. It was so funny because honestly, God, when my daughter said, no, no, I OK, I'll buy you a puppy. Get your pony. I didn't know what to say, but I've realized that like, you know what? It's not all about. It's not even about being right or being. It's about staying happy. It's about feeling good, you know, and everything is going to work out the way it's supposed to look where I'm at. You know what I mean? So I know I proof things work out the way they're supposed to. Is your soft spot your kids? Absolutely. So tell us about your kids. Oh, God, they're just so they're unbelievable. And tell us about specifically the movie that that your son and you made. My son, my son did a film called From a Son, and it's about a son that goes out and uses drugs. And when he dies, my mother always used to say that when something happened to me, she would wake up in the middle of the night, no matter where it was, she knew something was wrong, you know, and wasn't my stepmom, but she would wake up, and wake up my dad to call Daniel and then get me in trouble. And so anyway, and and so she always said that. So she set this movie to where when he's overdosing and dying, I'm waking up and I go, wow, you know. And then he dies. I go looking for him. I go in into his hell. I get shot at. I get cussed at. I get guns pointed. You want to know my son into those. In other words, I was one of those parents that had no clue what is. And when I find his girlfriend out in the desert in a shack, I make her take me to where she buried him. You know, he overdosed and died. So this one scene has this crying scene in it, right? And where I break down and cry. Well, I'm thinking, you know, John Wayne, OK, pilgrim, we got to toughen up here. You know, and so all week, my son is showing me these stupid baby pictures. Hey, dad, remember this? Remember when he fell? That's right. And I'm just like, look at it. Yeah, yeah, yeah, you're doing. So then when it comes to this movie, it's at night. We're in the desert. It's cold. Sasha, the girl that he had most vulnerable looking person in the world. This is the perfect image of Bambi run over. OK, and I said. Did you kill my son? No, I loved him. He was my only friend and she thought Bob. I lost. Wow. I. This was not a manly cry. This was a booger cry. OK, no, I'm sorry. And I'm really I apologize if you like because I was. I couldn't stop. I cried for my mom. I cried for my dad. I cried for cry for everybody. I didn't cry for you. Became a method actor. Could not stop. And then when he finally said cut the whole crew was crying. They would like to stop. And it was that real. And I hope you every time I try to wipe my nose. Also, there was there was I would imagine such an emotional component to him and you and what he's been through. And, you know, for him to be an artist in his own right. Like, can you talk a little bit about that? I I should take my kids to the. To the set all the time with the while as a single parent. Mama used to grow out and I had kids. The joyous time in my life. And my daughter would go straight to the of makeup trailer. And they do her hair. And my son would go straight to the top of the camera. And, you know, just started to learn everything. And literally, I wanted him in front of the camera. I was a great looking kid. He learned lighting everything. He shadowed Robert Rodriguez. He's in the DGA now. Wow. I told him, you've just turned into my retirement blanket. So now. What are you most proud of? Them, my kids, all of them. They're like, they're just like all winners. And they're probably the only thing you make me cry in a minute. You know, and of God, it's like hearing them when they call me in the morning. Hey, Dad, what's up? Good morning. Do they have kids? No, not yet. OK. Well, it will. Oh. Can you talk? I don't want to get too personal, but obviously there's some in the book. But can you talk a little bit about your relationship with women? Because one thing I noticed and you're a very handsome fellow. And I see you got a lot of attention from the ladies. And one thing I am curious about is you didn't seem to have time really without women in your life, meaning you you always seem to like to be partnered. Is that true? I mean, I'm not just saying, like, of course, like people like to have sex. I get it. I'm not stupid. But in terms of partners, you had significant relationships, kind of one, you know, I don't want to say one after another. But you you you did. You had you had several significant relationships growing up. The term used to be one on the house. I don't know. One in the home and one on the street. You know, and and I grew up with that. It wasn't wrong. You know, I remember my mom, my stepmom's mom. Had a boyfriend who had a who had a wife, you know, and and he would come over on the weekend and I'm all the way back then. And only one that I didn't was my grandfather. I never watched because he stayed pretty close to home, you know. But all my uncles, you know, they all kind of were like players, you know, Gilbert, my uncle Gilbert had two boys, both the same age, named Gilbert. Different different moms. One passed away. It was that was just it wasn't. I don't think the exclusive was nothing. It was not a word. Right. And. I. I can remember my uncles taking their wives home sometimes and coming back to the party, right? You know, and and it was a very different culture. Yeah. And so it took me a long time to like say, wait a minute, you know, this is not going to work out, you know, and. And for a long time, and I think I think the time. In the fifties and sixties and even maybe the seventies. Women tolerated that. They don't do it. No, they don't tolerate no more now. Wife shoots husband twenty seven times with an automatic rifle. You know, it's not like staffed husband was husband committed suicide stabbed himself four times in the back. Can you also talk a little bit about there's a section about the the mental hospital, the psychiatric institution and your mom? Can you talk a little bit about that? Because that was I wasn't expecting it. Yeah. However much you're comfortable talking about. What? But. My mom. You know, she had a lot of guilt. I mean, that was what was happening. And. And before, like my dad found out what was going on, she had had a breakdown. And I knew what it was, you know. And she was it was a long term relationship. That she was having that you were keeping a secret as a child. And yeah. And I didn't even tell my dad that when even that happened and that afterwards when. When. My dad found out because the therapist told him, you know, which was but it's so strange. That. Danny Levitar had had this therapist's son living with his big kid, right? And. And the kids started using and Danny didn't know how to get him out. So he called me. So I threw him out, you know, so I so I don't know if that was in retaliation. The air one of anyway. So I don't know why he told my dad, but told my dad. So my dad threw my mom out and then he came and confessed to me what happened. And I wanted to punch him. I was so fucking angry. I wanted to just beat just beat him, but he was broken. I mean, this this was the most much cheeseable man I've ever known. Right. And and I handle my wife, you know, that kind of thing. And oh, God, he was so broke. And so I didn't say anything. I didn't remind him. And then when he got back with her. I got I was angry than me and Diane, Danny Boy's mom, stayed over one night. And then my mom stopped me in the hallways and said, you know, I don't want that stuff going on. I wanted to punch her. I wanted to soccer. I. And I said, come on, we just left. And I didn't know what to do. I didn't. I had to like, in fact, Max and Mario were the ones that started because we moved right next, you know, right near my mom. So they started going over there for breakfast or rats, you know, and started being friends with. So it kind of like brought me back full circle. And then I realized that she had to escape my dad the way I had to escape my dad. We just used just different escapes. And I think by the time and the way God works again, Mike, my son went over there on his birthday and then he called me. And then I talked to my mom, hey, I miss you, me home. And it was like the most loving conversation I ever had with her. And we'd already gotten like, you know, made amends and right. And I understood. And and then. I just got to like just really like have a conversation with her for about 20 minutes, because I was in England and then then later they called me and she passed away. Where does that anger go now? It's not it no longer reaches that kind of anger. Got it. There's there's not that it's not here anymore. You know what I mean? I mean, I imagine if somebody hurt my kids, that anger would come up really quick. But, you know, it's funny, because when they were talking about the guy that was using with my daughter and somebody said, we're going to kill him. I don't know. Shall we? We started to. No, wait, wait, wait. Hold it. Wait a minute. Right. Right. So we got to like pull back real quick. What's your favorite? What's your favorite role you've done? Well, I would have to say spy kids because it shows this this crazy, insane guy, but loves his his nieces and nephews. You know what I mean? It was just it was like this guy, this mental. He's a genius with the with the spy gear. And then he but he likes his kids, you know. So I would say that because a lot of people, my favorite movie. Was much at that. Because that's like I had like like a super duper. I became in fact, I remember the first Halloween after much at that. I almost started crying when kids came to the door dressed, you know, five years old with a mustache and you're dressed as much. Yet they, you know, that was like, wow. What was your experience like on Breaking Bad? Because, you know, I actually was late to the party. I watched Breaking Bad many years after everybody had. And, you know, seeing you when you appear was just well, it was just incredible because it was so I mean, you're so perfect. And obviously such a dramatic role, you know, spoiler alert for anyone who hasn't seen it. But what was that experience like? There was such an iconic show. You know, it's so funny is first they did the last part first, you know, first it was I was at the head on the tortoise. Nobody knew where it came from. And so then they called us back and said, Hey, we've got to do the first part. Amazing. You know, and Gloria said, Dan, we just held them up. You know, so another lot more money. And right. And so we went and did the first, the first part was funny. Hey, get me one of these. OK, I want one of these for my parts. God, man, it's like just typical bracero. Yeah. Doug dealer, you know, but it was just a lot of fun. And that crew was so much fun. You know, are there parts of your previous life that you miss? Yeah, fishing with my uncle. I like that. And then like, I remember going to go into the pier with my dad and uncle, you know, and I got I was really young. But I remember I remember one time being on a boat with my dad and my uncles. And the only thing there was to eat was anchovies. So I ate some anchovies. I think that was the first time I ever ate sushi. You certainly come a very long way from anchovies to. That book was a lot of fun to. And you know, we got there's trails, tacos and also. We got some non-alcoholic drinks in there, too. Oh, non-alcoholic. That is good. I love that. Jonathan and I are both non-drinkers these days. And I did used to love a beer with Mexican food, but I have to say that the non-alcoholic drinks also do the trick. Oh, I'd be putting a non-alcoholic beer in. It was like I just. You know, whatever you want. That's it. It's like my mom. If you came over to my mom's and again, it didn't matter how me and her. But if if you came out of my mom's and and you came around five thirty, she was just going to put down another plate. Right. It wasn't like she was going to invite you to dinner. Or if I came in with two friends at three thirty in the morning, she would like, OK, you want to make sure. I mean, that was just the job then. Right. It's true. Well, it has really been such a pleasure to talk to you. And thank you for walking us through all of the aspects of your life. And it's just really been an honor to talk to you. So thank you. Thank you. This was great. And CJ, I hope you liked it. I really could have talked to that man for a long time. This memoir, you know, I didn't want to embarrass him and read him the entire book because obviously he he wrote it so he knows. But seeing the picture, the pictures are often my favorite part of a book. I'm just going to be honest, when I get a memoir and it's in my hands or a biography, I want to go straight to the pictures and I have to say, like, you get such a feel for an entirely different era of existence that Danny was raised in. You know, I didn't know he was. I didn't know he was as old as he is. He's got a very youthful way about him. And I had no idea that he was born in World War Two, which means that he grew up in like like his shows, his parents and zootsuits. And like they were like his mom looked like a movie star, like with the gorgeous curled hair and the red lipstick. And, you know, he grew up in this very specific pocket of of 1950s, you know, Los Angeles in the Mexican American community. And there's photos of his uncle Gilbert, which like it's just such a heartbreak, this story of his uncle. And it's just it shows him with his like his wives. It's it's really unbelievable. Sorry, I could talk all about his adorable babies. There's pictures of all his kids in here. But, you know, he has dug so deep into telling the stories, you know, of his life. And there are so many lessons from just his early life before he even got to prison that children should not have to learn, you know, like he said, that the secrets and just the the the culture, you know, as he described it. But his life in in jail and in prison and those experiences, I mean, you can't believe I cannot believe that that then is the same person. Who was then acting in movies and television with all of that pain and all of that violence, you know, that he witnessed and experienced and was part of. And he's just made this incredible life. And just like when I at first I was like, oh, he's got a cook. Like when I heard he had a restaurant, because like I live in LA, I was like, oh, he probably has nothing to do with it. And it's just like, oh, they put his name on it, like, because he wants to make money. Like I had no idea. It's a little cynical, a little cynical take. It's super cynical, but also like it's LA, like celebrities, they put their names on everything. But when I read about just like, you know, the the culture of taking care of people that way and how good it makes him feel to be of service in this way. And it's just like the the cutest thing, like, I'm sorry, it's the cutest thing is his face on the cover of this book, just joyfully pouring a non-alcoholic beverage. I just can't get enough of this man. The way he got into the movie industry, too, almost like by happenstance and then starts training Eric Roberts. Like, what were those training sessions like? There's something about him. Like you can't just take any dude who who grew up witnessing what he witnessed and and going to prison and being told by a judge, like, we're so tired of you, kill someone in the worst way possible so that we never have to even deal with you and can lock you away forever. For that man to like, that's not just like anybody's story. Like there's something about the way he wanted to connect with other people in prison. He wanted to help them get clean. Like something was sparked in him that became a life of being a completely different oriented, you know, person in service. And for him to also admit that like emotions are still like the hardest thing for him. Like that is still what he had to process. Oh, that was such a powerful part, excerpt of the book that you read. You can tell as how he replied to us, like that it was an ugly cry, that it wasn't a manly cry. And there is a notion now that reclaiming our ability to have intense emotions is actually extremely powerful, but that's not ever glorified, right? We only glorify the rage, the violence. Well, and he actually he talked a lot about that notion of of glorification because, you know, a lot of the films that he was asked to be part of, they wanted him to, you know, recreate moments. And he'd be like, oh, if we create this this way, like someone's going to get shot. Like you can to the kids. For those of us who grew up where like stand and deliver was like the most amazing film that so many of us had seen about like this teacher who like believes in his students. But he had the opportunity to work with literally Academy Award like level Edward James almost. And he was like, that's not how you do this movie. And like just the balls on him to sorry, the ovaries on him, you know, to to just talk to Edward James almost like that and be like, that's not how I went down. And this like this gang is going to be upset with you if you portray it this way. He was the real deal. But when he talked about his son's film, which is called From a Son. He said in the book, after the last take, Gilbert and I hugged and he named his son Gilbert. I thanked him for bringing so much of what I had buried deep inside to the surface. And when he talked about it, he talked about it in the first person, not like it was the character, like it was happening to him. Like he was telling that story. And I was like, oh, he's talking about in the film, you know, like he was so. And here's what he said. I was so proud. The the art of creating together brought us closer than we'd ever been. I was so proud as a father and even as an artist. It was it was almost like my life's journey had taken Gilbert and me to this place where we could examine the different hells we'd gone through. From both our perspectives as a father and son and as former addicts to make a story that could help people going through something similar. Oh, besides his namesake, my son, Gilbert has taught me more than anyone else I have ever known. He received a humanitarian award in Highland Park and he went with his set, like there's so many beautiful things. And and his relationship with the women in his life, you know, which you you really learn, you know, through through his memoir. Oh, just, you know, he was with remarkable women. And, you know, I it's not that I don't believe that remarkable women fall in love with men who were in prison. It's that there's something about this man and his charisma and his personality. He wants so much to connect, you know, in this way with people. And I just I think it's so fascinating how he's turned it into, you know, a life of literally food service, like helping people, you know, have this as part of their life. And it's just I think it's very special. And as an Angelino, it's he's such a special part, you know, of LA culture. He spoke a little bit about this, the transition from convict to actor. Acting wasn't new to me. I acted to survive my childhood. I acted like I wasn't scared when I was terrified. In Fulsome, I acted to keep my sanity. I had to move. I had to speak out loud. I had to hear my own voice. It does feel like there's like a level of authenticity to everything that he's bringing when you were talking about him in prison, giving people advice. It felt like he was, you know, a sage figure that people trust. I mean, he's a counselor. Yeah. Yeah, you were trying to say he there's an element of counseling to him that he understands how to like reach people. Yeah, he's he's I mean, he's exceedingly humble. And I don't think it's false. I don't think it's false humility. I think he really sees like he's doing God's work. And that's what you do. The way you the way you keep it is you give it away. That's like classic big book, you know, that is the job, you know, of someone who's sober is to is to stay sober and help other people stay sober. And he was so driven to do that. And you know how many people go into prisons and try and help people get sober? Like there there's something about I'm not saying he got every person's over that he tried to, but he knew that there's something about hearing it from someone who was in there the way he was and was a violent, violent person, you know, to have such a different perspective. But when I asked him about the things that sort of he knew, you know, when he got to prison and when he was in those situations and when he was in jail, you know, the the saddest set of lessons that he learned, you know, those that was his training. And when you think about as an actor, you know, like he said, he was acting his whole life like he was coached. He was coached to like, you know, fake people out. Let them think you are so crazy, right? So he had to take on this persona based on essentially coaching of, I mean, and in the book, he gives so many fascinating examples of like the ways that you had to show hierarchical power, you know, in that prison system and and in jail like that. And it is very interesting to to think of it, not as not as acting, but like, you know, we're all acting, right? We're all posturing. And and especially when we're tweens and teenagers and we're trying to figure out who we are, which is like the age he was at, you you're trying to say, like, I mean, I remember like I had a hippie phase, right? I had a goth phase, like we're trying on all these different masks. And like we still do it as adults, you know, we actually get some questions from our audience about the nature of masculinity and what does it mean to be masculine now and how has that changed? And from his perspective, going from someone with his experience. What is it? How do you deal with the rage that you spoke about now? And for people who are only listening, what he said is it's not here anymore. And when he said here, he put his hand up to his throat. So he like it wasn't as prevalent. And so if you're only listening to that, it's not that it wasn't there at all for him. It's like it's as he's gotten older, he's been able to metabolize it. And it's not, you know, at the ready as quickly as he had previously talked about it. I want to end with this. Avoiding feelings and pretending not to feel them. That was what my life was about for so long. I just want to say that again. Avoiding feelings and pretending not to feel them. Was what my life was about for so long. Prison was the same. Drugs jacking off anything to get out of my head for five or ten minutes, combined with never letting on how I truly felt I acted mean till I believed it. Hmm. Hmm. Powerful. When I got my first crack at acting on Runaway Train, I'd been in training for 40 years. I was like a fish who'd found water. The goal of films is to teach us that you can prevail over your difficulties in life if you have courage. Yeah, that's an incredibly courageous man. We hope everyone has a little courage to overcome. Yeah. And I learned a lot from talking to Danny Trejo. I'm just really grateful we got that opportunity with a special guy. And yeah, pick up Trejo's cantina or Trejo's tacos or just Trejo. From our breakdown to the one we hope you never have. We'll see you next time. She's gonna break it down.