The Brutal Truth from a Super Bowl Champion - Setema Gali

Welcome to the Proven Podcast, where it doesn't matter what you think, or what you can prove. This one's been proven by a Super Bowl champion. I'm warning you right now, most of you won't like this. This is going to wrestle most of your feathers, and we're going to talk about what it takes to motivate to succeed on the highest levels. And most of you are going to be pissed off. Anyway, the show starts now. Let's see if you can have this one. Are you ready? Welcome back to the Proven Podcast. I am excited to have our guest on. Thank you for joining us, man. Hey, man, I'm so happy to be here. Thank you for having me. Actually, for the for the four or five people on the planet, that don't know who you are. Tell us a little bit about yourself, what you've done the whole night. You got a, my name is to Temengali. I am a coach, a mentor, a speaker and author. I work with people and I help them solve the most expensive, costly problems, whether it's financially costly or emotionally or on their relationships. I do a lot of keynote speaking around the globe. I've clients, I coach youth football. I've got three boys and I love my life. I love my clients and I love right. There's a phrase we say that's like, if you want dragons blood on you, you got to slay dragons and we slay dragons. Like that's we confront things head on and we go like full speed at it. That's what I do. One of the things I love about what you just said, there was you know, you slay dragons. And we were talking about this on the first call we were connected, which was a no BS version of what it takes to actually slay a dragon versus the cute. Let's rub some crystals on a tree and steam come by. That's let's not reality. If you're going to do something to do something for those of you who are not watching this, who are listening to this, there were two people on his couch. He is large enough. He looked like he ate the other one. This is a large mission. And I run the game. I think your boy you mentioned is even bigger than you are. So I like I got I got a son who's like he just passed me in height. So he's probably six five three fifty. My older my other son is about six two to forty. And then my youngest son is like five seven five eight about a book thirty five. So he's coming. He's 13 but our food bill is astronomical and I love it. I do. Imagine. I love it. So one of the things that I think you and I both love on a high level. It just be really honest and in people's face. So let's get into what are some of the things that are complete not a BS that people believe. Like hey, a lot of be successful. I want to make it to the NFL. I want to succeed. I want to have this financial this. What are some of the just complete BS things that's in their way of obtaining those goals? Yeah. I think one of them for sure is when people say like that they they're overly optimistic. But I believe in being positive and I believe in being optimistic. But when people are just like just keep believing and just like you just believe in it and I'm like, okay, look, even the Bible's like faith without works is dead. So you could believe all day long and I know people that even hide behind God. And when I say they I got a picture of Jesus right behind me like that there's people who literally they they live in this fairy tale of just like just do these few things. And it's all going to work out and I'm like no. It's not all it's not work out. Like if you want apples, you got to go get apples seeds. You got a zero the ground. You got to plant the seeds. You got to make sure the soil is good. Then you got to protect the seed. Then you got inertia and even then as good as again, I believe in the law of the harvest. What you sow is what you reap and even then there's still so much that it's going to take. So one of this like, hey, just just be positive and again, I'm a positive guy. This and then another one is whenever people say, well, it happens for a reason. I'm like, it's not God because you made some dumb choices. Like you made some really dumb choices. And so I'm not just having some. This is like mom and talent. This is like MJ. This is Tom Bradyist. This is like, this is what it takes and it's going to be hard. And let's just let's just call it what it is. You aren't good enough right now. Or you're not. I talked about this all the time. People are like, oh, I want to lose weight. I want to make a million dollars. I want to do this. I'm like, that's adorable. What are you willing to do? Are you willing to get up in the morning at four o'clock in the morning and run? Are you willing to cut sugar and shit out of your diet? Are you because I'm a triathlete? I can't have as much muscle mass as you are because I would die on the run. I already have 17-ish calves. I can't do it as it is. So, but people are like, oh, I want to be a triathlete. I'm like, this is not complicated. Get up. But the amount of things is to say, everybody wants. They want to. Everybody wants the bigger home. They want the car. They want to jack to shred it. Everybody wants to, but you do not get what you want. You get in our language. You get what you are 100% committed to in our language. Commitment means you do what is required. You do what you say you're going to do. And you're at an decisively. Regardless of thoughts, feelings, emotions and moods. And I'm like, you don't get what you commit to every once in a while. It's every single day and committing to do something. You got to cut a lot of stuff out. Like you talked about, you know, like, you can't eat donuts all day. And pizza's all day and fries all day. There's a sacrifice that is required. And most people don't want to sacrifice. They don't. They don't want to give up the sugar. They don't want to give it the movies. They don't want to get up the ease and the comfort. So this is why I love the conversation we're having, which is like, let's just, let's just be real. You don't want it bad enough to cut things out. You don't want it bad enough to become a different human. And eat a salad and chicken for one meal is not going to get it done. Right. And I love it. You're talking about being real. You're people like, oh, I want to, I want to do this. I'm like, you can't even conquer the cookie jar. What are you talking about? I was like, you haven't even gotten past that. So, and there's nothing wrong with that. This is where you are right now. Muzzle tough. If you're like, hey, I'm not willing to cut out the sugar. I'm not willing to watch the videos to read the books. You know, one of the people I'm working with right now, she's like, I've never read four books in a week in my life. And I was like, and you're getting different results now, aren't you? She's like, yep. Am I okay? Cool. Because it's just a matter of you have access to the data. Now, when people come to you and your clients, you know, you're high performers and do people wanted to change it. What are the normal struggles that struggles up there facing? And then how do you have them? I run with the picture behind you, which is a live picture of Jesus. What is their come to Jesus moment that they have? What are the things like? What are the problems and how do you get them to have that come to Jesus moment? Well, one of the biggest things is even if you're performing at a very high level, and you're making money, what's they are? These guys are CEOs or CFOs or business owners on the North. They're on the small to mid size businesses. You know, they're functioning, but it's almost like a functioning alcoholic. And again, I don't drink alcohol. It's fine if you do, but I've had functioning alcoholics come to my program. And it's like they can literally full most of the world. So they're lying. They're pretending. And everyone kind of knows like, hey, this is our leader. They've got money. And so if I was taken into physical, spiritual, relational financial, like just four different domains of life. So my clients, they might be doing great with their business at the cost and at the expense of disconnected from spouse and children, disconnected from purpose and meaning and fulfillment, and possibly they're grossly overweight, no bees. Like there's some type of wreck really miss balance here. And so what I do is I look them straight in the face. And there's like nice warm loving September. The guy you see like the football game. Hey, right. And then there's, I don't care what you think about me. Who are asking me to help you. And the only way to help you is to punch you in the throat. 100% and I mean like when I say like I have CBOs that are like, or clients that are like, no one ever talks to me like this. And like makes me feel this way. I'm like, because I don't care. Right. So we confront things head on. Like we have some real words. And it's like you shake them so hard. All of the facades and all of the masks. They begin to fall off. And that's like what I do with clients is just let's get real. Let's tell them. I'm going to ask you some real questions. And don't lie to me. So we talk about this hammer versus hug. And sometimes I get to be hammering. Sometimes I get to be the most people meet that hammer at first to move them out of where they are. You mentioned you asking real questions. What are some of the questions that you've asked people that have created that. Or lack of better term that hammer that movement that pivot that they will drop the mask off. Yeah. So I'll just create this agreement with them up front. And I like to frame every conversation. So when I get on with someone and I've done this, I do this all the time. I say, listen, we're about to have a very powerful conversation. Let's not waste time and play pretend. And let's not stay on the surface. You do that everywhere else in your life. So can you agree to be radically honest, brutally transparent, and completely real with me. And I'm like, yes, or no. And most people go ahead and say, well, most of them will say yes, but it's not a real yes. I'm like, I sure, sure. I'm so like, how do you get past that the bullshit? Yes. Well, then it's funny because I'm like, if I can tell, you can always tell. You can tell when someone's not on. Yes, doesn't really mean yes. They're just saying yes. And I'll say, look, I'm just going to say it again. And I just pause and then just look at them. Like, we don't got time because the person who referred you to me, as you were going through some tough times, like something difficult. So I'm going to ask you some real questions. All I'm asking you is do not lie to me, tell the truth, and I will help you. Do you understand? And they're like, yes. And sometimes I will come right out the gate and depending on that they feel something out, I've got some information. So sometimes I'll just ask them a point of what's going on in your marriage, real talk. And then again, I know the first question I ask, most people, they stay a little bit surface. And then I start to pierce and I start to dig and I start to dig. I'll point blank ass people. Like, what, like, are you cheating? What's in your bank account right now? Are you lying? What was the last lie you told? And if I can get them to be so real and so honest right up front, man, like, we just move so fast because for the first time in their life, they're having this come to Jesus' moment. I love the picture there. They're having this like the prodigal son of them that like, I'm walking up. Like the prodigal son of a story. He's like, takes all the inheritance he goes and he spends it all. And now he's like, I'm even with the pigs right now. This is horrible. I'm going to go home. So if you can be so real and pierce, like piercing, people want to actually tell the truth. They just don't know how and they're using that any environment they can do that. I also think people don't have people that hold them accountable on a high enough level. And they know that if this person does hold me accountable, there will be some sort of cost benefit for it. So, you know, I, with my clients, I'm like, how long have you been cheating? I'm like, we're going to get past it if you're cheating. We're way beyond that. How long have you been cheating? Is that your goal? If that's what you want. I love that. It's not my marriage. I'm not sleeping with you. I don't care. And I think having that disconnective, I don't care. I'm here to serve whatever your truth is is important. Now, a lot of this, people, and I'm curious what your thoughts are, there's so many people who want to change and have a certain level of willing but don't actually make the change. What has been the factor that you've seen when people come to you and that nobody asks of what people actually start taking the action and implementing and creating the changes of the life that they want? What are the things that normally is the trigger for that for that you'd say? Yeah, I would say there's two real big important things here. Number one is there's this theme that I call default future. It's default. Like, basically, if you continue to do what you're doing, well, you end up, and most people, they painted a false future. So, for example, if they're eating garbage and they're not spending time with their children and they're working 60 to 70 to 80 hours a week at the expense of all these, I'm like, where will you be? And in their mind, they're like, you know, I won't be as close to them as I was like, excuse me. You are so delusional. You're delusional. Let me paint and picture. You'll be sitting on a couch with no kids, no grandkids, eating a can of pringles in a tiny or maybe your shoes home. You will be miserable. That is your kids would refuse to come see you unless they want your money. And even then, some of them will, and when I can paint this, like, face the reality of the default future, it's like, and that, I mean, I just hit him straight with it. Or if you continue to do what you're doing, you will be financially broke. You will be destitute. You will be discouraged. You won't be depressed. And you might even continue like taking your life. You might consider that. And you might even do it like, this is the path you're on. Are you okay with that? And when people are like, like, it's like this wake up moment. Like, I don't want that. It's regret. But that's one of them. The other thing really is, he's just getting them to have a wake up moment. I'm like, you got to give something up. And then like, what do you need? Like, you can't keep doing this over here, and doing this over here, and hoping to get, like, something has to be given up so I can give them an example. Like, again, the physical one's like, you're fat. Like, I'm telling you, like, you're obese. You think you look good. Let me show you a, go take your shirt off and take a picture. And then I can show them an older version of them, and then the current version. And they're like, I'm like, you look horrible. And then again, that's not just in the physical domain. So when people get the truth, Jesus really had it straight when he said, the truth will set you free. And the truth hurts. The truth is painful. And people actually really don't want to know the truth because it sucks. They want to listen to the motivational tapes, and they want to listen to the books, and they want to write little cute quotes. But they don't want to do the fucking work. They don't want to dig it. Gosh, the quotes are killing me, man. Yeah, they're trying to punch me out of my mind because people will sit there and like, one of my, one of my clients goes, because whatever I'm not, whatever I'm cheating, whatever I'm not choosing, not changing or something along the line. I wrote it down because the piss mouth says, whatever you are not changing, you are choosing. I was like, that's a great quote. That's really cute. That's a really good one. What did you do? What did you change now? Huh? I'm like, wait, did you just said, whatever you're not changing, you're choosing. So what changes have you made? They're like, I wrote the quote on my blog. I posted it on Instagram. I'm like, you're in my way now because that's like, I don't care what you say. I only care what you do. I only care what you execute with. And I found that when pain, and this is what you're doing, what do I call future focus, but the future of life, when you show someone that their pain now exceeds their comfort level, instantaneous change every single time. But if you're in a situation where you're still comfortable with the level, pain that you're at because it slowly is crept up, you're not going to make that change. What are some of the things, I'm curious in which you've run across, the things that have made the most change in people's lives. Like you've seen these radical results to be able to sustain it. Because change in a couple of minutes is adorable. It's cute. It's nice. And you think you want some award, and then you go back to your old patterns. How do people sustain? How do you get people to do that? So one of the things that's how people the most is when you put them through physical pain. So, you know, like these business owners, they sit in their nice, booted and suited clothes and they're important and then got authority and power. And then we would run them through immersion. And then I'm picking them up at five is very militant. Not never been military, but I've seen militant. I have so much respect. And so I've been in high level sports, high school collegiate professional. So there's something about physical pain and having people connect. Like, wait, I just, I just carried an 80 pound bag for four and a half hours. I just ran miles upon miles, even when I'm like about, and I think I'm going to die, when people go through pain and I can connect, what they're going through physically to now what they want to experience financially or relationally. And I can make that tie. And then I can remind them of some of the tools and the models like, this is what we did. So you're going to go home. I like first things first and then we get practical. Like it's hard to go run a marathon if you don't have water stations throughout and you don't have gels. Most people try to go change their life, eat and cheese and crackers. You got to fuel your body. You got a few, you got to sleep. You got to have shoes. You got it like this is preparation. So a lot of times with our people, what gets the mistake is I'm like, let's put you in the environment. Go home. Someone wants to lose weight. Go home. Face time. Show me your pantry. There, I'm going to, that's about $1,500 of stuff that needs to go. Oh, but my, but as I look, you told me you wanted to change. Oh, but I got this relationship. Like you need to cut block block on everything. You need to get rid of that. You need to probably get rid of the TV's and like, people are not used to get drastic. No, then the comforts of life just pulling back in and where I've seen the most change in people is, you know, again, Jesus said something about if I right hand defend the cut it off, people need to cut people out of their life. People need to get rid of not sleep with their phone next to them because they're glued to their phone on my, then they won't be why they're so tired, then they caffeinate and numb and do all my, you guys, these changes are simple. So what I found that works is we give people a system operating system and an environment where if you follow these things, you decrease the chance of relapse now. It's like the alcoholic. You got to dump all the alcohol out. You got like if that's what again, I got a number of clients, they got to dump the alcohol. They got to avoid the bar. They got to get rid of those people. They got to go to the support groups and then you got to fill it back up with exercise, with fruits, with vegetables, with just different things. People don't understand like we're talking about radical change and they don't want to do that. So that's why they keep lapsing and they stay in debt and they stay in mediocrity. Now the people who like, again, I don't know why I keep feeling this is, but what are you doing? People in scriptures like get up and move, leave, get out of work, like leave where you're at. And people don't want to do that because they're too comfortable with what's tells me, you really don't want what you say. It sounds cute. It gives you a dopamine dump, but you don't want it. Oh, on that cute quote you keep posting and all the quotes you post on your social media is like, get out of here, show by your results, show me the fruit, right? Show the results. Yeah, I love the idea that pain breeds confidence. There's so many times when you're doing things that I'm like, I didn't know I could do this. I've got to push through it. And the other thing is that you're talking about a purge and it's one of my favorite things to do on a plane ride. Is I will sit there because I can't, there's no internet access on the plane most of the time. And I'll be like, block, block, block, block, block, delete, block, block. I'm like, all these people, you don't have to be in my life anymore. And if you're not ready to hate this expression, it's a wrong expression, but if you're not ready to burn your shifts, you're not going to get it. That's just the reality. And there are people. And I love that you go through people's pantries and say get a crash back. You want a different life. And I know one of the things I do is I say, you know, here you are. What are the clothes that this ideal version of you? Because we created this horrible version of you. Here it is. You're going to be sitting on your own eating bringles. What is that person wear? Awesome. What is this person wear? Cool. I'm like, I'm throwing them out every thing you own. And I don't think people understand that's what real change takes. And for you, and this is what we all long so well from the very beginning, I was like, okay, he's not foolish. He's actually done it. He's done it. So what are the things that have created like to sustainable stuff, right? Like, okay, we go in, we Persian and the media, for example, in my home, I have a little, clock that controls lamps that turns lamps on and off. You know those. It's connected to my internet devices. So at 10 o'clock at night, all the internet, my house shuts down. There is, there isn't any, hey, my, I want to get on my iPad, I want to get on my phone. There's no more internet in the house because at 10 o'clock, I'm getting off my devices. It doesn't turn back on to the morning. It was a $6 solution. It forces me to get out of my own way. What are some of the things that you've implemented with your clients that have helped them because again, will powers a finite resource. We all know that. We don't always feel like working out. And sometimes we just, we fall off track and we got to cash back out no matter who you are, unless you're Kobe. How are the things, what are the things that you've implemented with clients that have helped them stay on track to get to those goals? So number one, I'm a big one with all of our clients. And I've never heard that one before. I'm like, that was brilliant. Dude, that's, I'm going to go implement that now. So like my kids, I'm going to go and get on my phone. I'm going to go implement that now. So like my kids, right? But it goes for us. It's like all phones, no phones going rooms. All things get shut off like eight, nine o'clock. You have to remove because that right there, that domino. If someone's up on their phone all night, they, they don't sleep well. Then they binge, then they, then they don't work the, the next day. So that's one, all right. Well, I might just, that simple thing of remove, even if you work, take yourself home, put it in another room. Leave it in your car. And they're like, but I got, but I got, but you got what? If you're, you, no one has easy access to you. That means you, you never get into deep work. And if you never get into deep work in the modes of being able to really execute me productive, you're working about probably 90 minutes a day while you're, like you're, you're checking you're wasting time. Another one is the non-negotiable of like, you can't even start work until you work out, and they're like, what am I? Go get the workout in and tell me how you feel. And so we, you tell guys to find workout partners in this, I mean, for me, it's so ingrained. Probably like it is for you. Like we're going to work on them out of what, but people who are not used to that. I'm like, you need a group and you need to return the report to us. And you don't get to work, you don't get to do anything in your job where you make money until you do this and they're like, holy crap. I'm like, yeah. And so when you can implement these simple things, these simple protocols, and then it becomes habit and then all of a sudden these guys are like, dude, I have to work out. Like, I know that's what it is. That's a good life. This is like where you eat and you feel your body and there's no junk food in the pantry. And when you're tempted, again, another one is I just tell people, like have some, have some simple either cream of rice or some protein powders. When you are tempted to eat whatever your junk food is, that's your go to. I promise you, you, again, this is science. You eat the right foods of the day. After a while, you just don't crave the garbage. But breaking that gravity, right, that rocket ship expands all the fuel to break gravity. The class thing that so then those are some simple things from the foam to the food to exercise. We just need a few simple triggers in place. And if they can execute those consistently, the cravings disappear. Like again, I'm in your body building. I used to eat ice cream every night, like every minute, like not too bad and I could still be okay. I'm like, no, like what happened within those first probably two weeks? I craved it. And oh my god, yeah, like I noticed as I ate super clean, it's so true. All the food that people eat, it is laced with the additives that make you more hungry. But when you eat chicken and rice and Mingran, turkey and rice and steak and potato, you really just don't give a dang about those foods because that they're so blind. Now your body transforms and then when you go back to eat sugar, like you feel so sick. The same thing happens with people in the workout and or executing work and high value targets in their business. It's amazing how small and simple things like you just talked about right there with the internet. You dig it just like and once you've done it, I don't want to go back. I don't want to go back to the way that I used to live. No, 100% I think, you know, people don't understand that you don't need to have the willpower throughout the entire day. You only need willpower and little finite sections because I have the same problem. I don't drink. I don't smoke. I don't drink drugs, but sugar for a long time for me. Oh my god, because I don't know if people know this and this is the part where there's a public service announcement. Ice cream lies and says serving sides for na na serving sides one. I don't care what sides it is. I will pound the whole thing. It was bad. So I don't spend all day going, I want ice cream, I want ice cream. I just make sure it's not in my house. And if I cross it when I'm walking outside and there's a store or I just need willpower for about five, 10 seconds, I can get willpower from five to 10 seconds. I can do it. I'm like, I get it. I get by. The other thing that I found, because people want to have to go here, sour crap. You, because you're got by on, there's different type of biomes in your system. So you're the bacteria in your stomach. There are some that feed off sugar and there's some that feed off other healthier things. When I went through a purge, I had to bring fermented food. So sour crap, which I do not like to taste of sour crap, but I don't care. I'm eating for me. I'm eating for my system by bringing sour crap in the morning with sun every single one of the the sugar cravings I had because I replaced the bacteria that was in my gut. So my gut biome actually changed. The other thing is understanding and I'm curious what you think of this. Everyone thinks that time is your most valuable asset. It is not. It is never going to be your most valuable asset. You're completely wrong. I spent eight years in a hospice watching people die. There are people who had polio who were paralyzed from the neck down who lived for 90 years. They had lots of fucking time. They never any health. Health is the only thing that matters. And right now, Florida is about rid of vaccines. We're not going to get political on that. Polio is no joke. So if you get injected with that stuff, it gets ugly. So your health changes the ball games. And then I think what I love what you said about the phone, if people have access to your phone, you're telling someone how much value and how much you value your own time by giving them limited access to you. Access. I am not a doctor. My family, you're going out of town. I'm going down a trip on Sunday. I'll be out of the country. I can't put what happened to your emergency. And I was like, well, I didn't go to medical school. So you probably don't want to call me. I want to call someone else. So we get the motivation. We get the patterns. We get the, you know, we're going to do things differently. Once someone gets to that tactical and they're like, okay, I've got it. I'm working out every day. Thank you so much. Now what do you do to step in and level up their businesses? And what do you do to level up their finances? How do you handle that? You got it. So I love just doing what we call current reality. So people start to get their life right when you start to exercise body, you're weight dropping, you're happy, you're feeling better, like you're starting up to spend more time. You're not addicted to work. You're not working 80 hours a week. You're not stressed and you're not taking it out on your family. You know, because a lot of guys think I'm doing this for my family. Your family doesn't want to be around you because you're a horrible person to be around right now. Like you take it out on them because you know deep down your mind, they're always going to be there. But you don't do that at work because HR is going to hit you with something. You can get fired. So once people get to a place that's like, okay, I can breathe again. Then I just say, okay, let's look at your current reality now. Let's look at where you're at now. Let's just look at the truth. What's the bank account? What's the money in coming in? What's your retirement look like? What is your income and cash? Okay. What is your current reality of your body? Hey, you've lost 30 pounds. Are you working out? We start to look at the current reality and the trajectory now. And some people think the trajectory looks way better. And then we just, all we talk about really simple is like they're small and simple things you got to do on a daily basis to keep you bulletproof. That's it. Like maintain the workout, maintain the healthy eating, make sure you're marketing your sales. And again, from producer to owner, right? Are you building a legitimate business where you don't have to work 24, seven? And again, this stuff takes time. Most people just stay working, working, grinding, grinding, grinding. They make a lot of money, but they're not really doing anything. And I found myself in that situation multiple times when I'm like, okay, I got a step back. Let me look at current reality. Let me create this projection of where I want to be. And then we just go back and sit again, what we call necessary required actions and let's execute. And it's the same. It's crazy. It's the same process again and again and again, right? You're the slowest new levels, new devil. Okay, now that you're on a new level, now you've got some new problems. And now we got to solve those problems. And then it's going to elevate you again. And then you're going to face new problems. And then we got to solve those problems until you just constantly and continuously optimize your life. I love what you said that word. I don't believe people, but I do believe there are patterns. And so someone's got patterns of how they do things. We can look at those patterns. We can look at their current reality. We can project something and now we can solve. And it takes so much. It takes real, real conversation, real truth, like confronting things head on. And things that people don't want to hear doing things that they absolutely have been avoiding. And it showed them the cost. That's another game changer. Like do you show someone what it's really costing them to waste time over here or to do this over here? The real cost. Oh, people are like, wait, I'm losing millions of dollars or hundreds of thousands of dollars. But more than financial. You're losing your children. You're losing your marriage. It's brutally painful. So that's what we do. It's been simple. It really, it's not easy, but it is simple to look at it and then you got to execute. There's a simple thing that you keep lost in over. So the listeners have heard it probably at this point. But you keep using the term we and the idea is that the only way you're going to do this is you do have so that hold you accountable. And I have people all the time. No, I don't really need this. I don't really need that. I'm like, cool. Have you done it? And they're like, no, I go, then you're lying to yourself. You need someone to hold you accountable. Because if you could do it on your own, like there are people like Kobe who do it on their own. I love it. There are 180 billion people. It's a rest of us. We need someone to hold us accountable and to get us in the face and to do that. So I love that you keep talking about, okay, we've reached this level. Now we need to get to the next level because there's a new devil at every level. And then it's just the nature of the beast. When you talk about necessary actions, because we all have these and every level has different ones. And there's a lot of which people would sit down and have these honest conversations. I would realize how much connection, love and finances are losing. But when they sit there and say, hey, here are the real things that you need to do. These are the necessary actions. What are the most common, let's say, five most common necessary actions that people have to do at different levels? Because if you're on the basic level, and I'm trying to lead you here because the basic level is easy. Just get racist. It's really simple. Don't need anything white. If it's sugar, if it's carbs, just don't drink it. Just don't eat it. It's white don't eat. There's a lot of weight. Sorry. It's bad. Simple. And we all know what to eat. We all know that we need to exercise. So for those of you who are playing at that level who are listening, just walk for 45 minutes every day, make it a non-negotiable. If it's raining, you're going to get wet. If it's snowing, you're going to be cold. Just get over yourself. Just do it. Commit. And it's not about the walk anymore. It's about the 10 I keep a promise to myself. So at the very basic level, stop lying to yourself and get there. This isn't that conversation because that you can Google anywhere. Have a nice day. That's chess. You do. That's easy. That's chess, you do. You interact with individuals at a significantly higher level. These are high performance. These are people who have been made of professional sports. These are Fortune 500 CEOs. These are elite individuals. What are some of the proven necessary things that you go, hey, this is what you need to do. I love that. I want to learn more about this. So necessary, we call them NRAs. Necessary required actions. And so to answer this question, at a certain level, one of the things is there's constantly assessing. There's an assessment when I'm I today. And if people don't do that, it's easy to get stuck into what I call the comfort zone, comfort turns to complacent zone, complacent turns to this no-stive crash. And pretty soon you have a crisis. So we want to avoid the crisis and invert that by saying, okay, number one, let's do a consistent check in. That check and I call this like our general's tent. The battle is always one in the general's tent, which means, hey, at least once a week, you got to sit down and look back at the previous week. What did we do? What we said we did. And I mean at a high level, because if you're not executing at a level that's going to put you on an upper trajectory, we're back to go walk for 45 minutes and tell me how you feel. So the return report out of like this, this planning, this general's tent, so to speak, once a week is important. Number two is a constant looking into the future kit. Like again, I think I heard this from, I'd have been Gary Vee. I don't even probably where he's like, our head needs to come up out of the dirt into the clouds. We've got to survey. You got to look because at the level of an eight figure, a multiple eight figure, close to nine figure business, there's so many moving pieces that you're counting on dozens and dozens of your leaders. So it's fast against speed of the team, speed of the leader. So this assessing, right and adjusting and pivoting like real time, where are we? Here's what we were. Here's what we want. Here's where we are. We got to pivot. Another thing that I think is critical for these, I don't think, another thing that is like mission critical is the confronting of crucial conversations with people. High end leaders, like tapping leaders, they don't leave these critical crucial conversations for anybody. You got to have them. You have to have them. And it's not a text message. It's not an email. You confront and you reason why it's so important. When a leader confronts his main people, he is demonstrating to them. He or she is demonstrating to them. This is how we handle stuff. Head on confront. What I've learned is people who avoid confrontation and they want to go into complexity. They're avoiding the very thing that would put them to the next level. So they stay stuck. Critical crucial. Thearest conversations when something's not working, it's immediate. Because again, like, you know, the phrase, right, you don't, you can't turn the Titanic like you can of VW bug. It takes a lot of movement to turn an organization. So those micro conversations are critical. And the other thing that's important that I'd say for these guys is, it sounds almost counterproductive. But I'm like, you got a sharp in your song, man. Stephen Covey said, he was on to something when he's like sharp in the song. You know, if I talk, if I see two guys cutting down a tree and one guy disappears for a couple hours every day, but he comes back, but he cuts down the tree faster. It's because his song is sharp. And again, I'm not talking about self care and pedicures and manicures. I'm talking about like real deep meditation, real preparation. Give me a guy who's going to stop and prepare his day and then actually, he's going to go farther than the person who just, let's go to work because at the hunt level, the grind is not the grind actually becomes counterproductive. There's not to be strategic planning and execution. It's like, again, this is like you're a solo guy. Just go work harder. You're going to make money. But when you're over people and livelihood and organizations and branches and districts and like, you got to have a strategy that is in alignment with where you're trying to go. And a lot of times, even for myself, I hire mentors, I hire coaches, I have a team where we hold each other to these candid conversations. So those are a handful of things to me. And it's like, if you're doing that and then again, you're taking a step back and looking at the big picture, head in the clouds, where are we at? What's really going on? What's really not happening that we got to have happened? Once we plan, we put our face in the dirt and we go, we execute and we face in the dirt. Like we're grinding, we're working and everyone's well head comes up. Where are we? Is this really what we want? And you've heard the phrase that says, hey, don't build, don't climb the ladder. Get to the top and be like, oh, the ladder gets the wrong wall. I'm like, that's a real thing where people build and work so long. And they get down the road and they're like, this is not what I wanted. That's why having clarity and head up in the clouds is so crucial. You got to make sure is the path that you're on, really the path that's going to lead you to what you really want. And when you get to what you really want, and you make that, that's what you want. That money or you get that thing, are you sure what's behind it is what you really want? And if it is, let's go get it. If it's not, we need to assess that before we spend years and months building a machine to solve a problem that really is not the problem. So there's a lot of thinking and conversation that goes into these systems. And if people are just willing to submit to that process, it's a whole different level of capacity versus, hey, let's go walk for 45 minutes, stop eating sugar, stop eating to bring it. And you're good. No, this is like, we're trying to turn you into a high level, well oiled machine with muscles and endurance. And you can handle the 120 plus back ride in the marathon. It's a way different game. Same in marathon, same in bodybuilding, same in business, same in family. Now, I agree. And I think there's so many people that don't get it that if you set on a plane, and the guy next to you said, oh my God, I'm so excited. I wonder where we're going. You would freak out. You were like, oh my God. You're like, okay, this is a problem. Well, people do that in their businesses. I'm just going to do it. And I think, I know you've seen this, you can grind your way to seven figures. It is not that hard to make a million dollars. You can just put your head down and grind. It's going to cost you your health. It's going to cost you your family. It's going to cost your relationship to put your, you'll get to your seven figures. And also to have fun in that. I love what you said about kind of disconnecting. The military is called detach. You need to detach from the environment, put your head on a swivel for a second. But don't sit there and go, okay, it's fine, but they're wrong. Latif. I'd be wrong on the wrong wall. So sitting down and really knowing where you're going, where that arrow is going to go beforehand is important. And I love that she's mentioned that you have mentors as well. And I think it's, I would not be as far as I was. Or I am if it wasn't for mentors. And my original mentors when I was broke were books. I would read this Stephen Cavies and I'd be in a business. This is what I've been afforded right now. And then in time you hire someone because it's all about accountability. Having someone that gets in your face and has conversations that are not HR through sorry HR, I never get along with you. I am not HR approved. So that are getting to get in your face and hold you and just so they're in bark at you. It's that you are failing and you're choosing that. And that's okay. And that's your truth. If that's where you want to go, a thumb. It's not going to stop my life. I wish you truly nothing but the best. But that's where you're going. You said something now and this is so true. In the beginning the mentors were absolutely the books in the podcast. And like those things were so important. The YouTube videos. But there comes a point in time where you got to go to a whole another level and this is why most people most and I'll be say this. Why most people will never get there? Because they don't want to make the investment. And so it's like, well, you're, I got to go pay this guy 50 grand or 100 grand or 10. What whatever level you start at. I'm like, well, that's like having a great tax person. They're going to save you six seven figures and you're going to pay them for it. So I'd rather pay 50 grand to save myself half a million dollars worth of loss or a million dollars worth of day. I'll invest that 50 or 150 grand all day long. And most people, they have this. They have it silliness. They think they can just do it by watching a YouTube video and they'll be just fine. I'm like, are you kidding me? And they're like, but I don't have the money to invest in a coach. I was like, huh, then stay where you are. Like, and I love this example. If the child was going to die and you had to come to the million bucks, could you find the nine? It's crazy. Some people are like, I like what you're really hesitating. Yes. I really couldn't go thousand to set. Oh my gosh. Go become an employee. It go to do that. Go work for someone else. Get out of it. People say, oh, I don't have the money to invest in someone who's going to hold me accountable. I'm like, awesome. Now you're not in my way. I love that. Great. Because I don't have to deal with you down the road. I got to deal with the other guy who's willing to burn down villages to make what happened. The idea of it to about faster and either find a way or make a way. That's for me as one of those. I will make this happen. And most people, it's sad. I talk to people like weekly. They're like, oh, yeah, I'm going to I'm reading this book and I'm doing it. I'm like, that's great. It sounds like you're in the beginning stages. Staying your job. Enjoy your side hustle. Yes. But if you're trying to go hit seven figures out the park and scale that to multiple seven and eight, you're trying to like really do something like, I mean, not like a little strong house. You're trying to go build a community figurative speaking. You're trying to go make your body chiseled. Like it's going to you're not doing it by listening to a YouTube video and reading the guy's Clifnose. There's a cost and a price associated. And most people, they think they can go build a 10 million dollar business and invest a few hundred dollars here and there. There's no delusional. This is that delusional we talked about. Yeah. I mean, if you're sitting there like, I want to be the most successful person in my entire line that it's ever existed. I'm going to go watch YouTube. I'm like, you're adorable. So that's adorable. I'm like, I'll give you a teddy bear. You can hug it. That's just not the reality. It's the difference between someone who performs on the NFL level versus someone who performs up and make it even easier. I'm 92 man, our fastball at 17 years old. I was better than probably 95% of the planet. But the difference between someone in the majors and me was the equivalent of you saying that you're a football versus a turtle that had gotten rolled over and was in a coma. I was good. I wasn't remotely close to be what it takes. And most of us think that, hey, if I just worked out and did a couple more pushups, I'm going to have this great body. If I just listened to this video or I go to this event or I go to this seminar, I'm going to radically make 10, you know, I'm going to make 10 million. I'm going to make that nine figures, eight figures, whatever it is. And I'm trying to, and that's what I'm trying to do with this conversation because you entire just being honest, people pay us a lot of money to do what we do because we get the results we get. But most of the people at least for me, that's trying to hire me. I'm like, no, excuse me. And it's the question you just asked, which is if your child needed a million dollars, if you had to get a million dollars in the next 24 hours or in the next year in order to save your child's life, if that person's answer is an I will burn down villages. I will light shit on fire to make it happen. If you're not that person, you're not my client. I give my book for free for years. I'm curious when you run into that as well, when you ask people that question, did you have that same kind of reaction to like, oh, go to go away. You're in my way. Yeah. It's just like, hey, look, you're not, you're not my client. I was like, yeah, let me, here's, let me go watch these videos, go read these books because trying to convince someone like that, it's like we can't hear it. I sometimes even give a simple example. If I gave you the keys, I got four different vehicles. If I gave you the keys to these vehicles, paid for in Claire, could you could, could you come up with 10 grand? I'm like, of course I could. Why? Well, you're offering me all these cars that, okay, okay. It's the same principle with just about everything else. You got to go figure out how to go get 10 or 50 or 100 grand. But they can't make that distinction of, oh, this is the same thing. It's whatever, a 10, 15, 20,000, 50,000 on a program. But yeah, they don't see the future of possibility what it's going to be. So those people, I'm like, hey, my good luck, man, I just smile because I was like, no, they'll never get it. No, no, those are the people that give me a little advice. Yeah, I give them a little advice. Yeah, those are the people I give the advice. So I'm like, hey, go do this. Don't eat this stupid shit. Go work out. These five or six books, please go read it. I think the best example of this was there's a guy named Mark Devine. Mark Devine is a former soon commander. Mark's a great guest. Yeah, I'm cool. Yeah, yeah. Hi, Mark. How are you? I asked him, I said, you know, when someone comes up to you and they say, you know, I want to be a seal. What does it take to survive boot? How weak? He knows in that moment, they'll never going to become a seal. If you're asking, what do I need to survive this? You're not ready to be a seal at all. It's like, hey, once I get through training, what is the things I need to be prepared for after that? That is a different mind. It's a completely different question. It's kind of like when, because millionaires ask, what do you do? Billionaires ask, how can I help you? How can I be in service to you? It's a different narrative. If you've got the mindset of like, okay, I just need to know how to get past this first level. There's a library card. I wish you nothing but the best. Go read as much as you want. YouTube is free. It's a little bit of a puzzle tough on to you, but I think there's some preconceived notions and there's some stuff out there that I would love to have us kind of just go through and say, no, one of the things that hurt you the most in this space of the people like, hey, I'm going to go do this and I'm going to be successful. What are the things that hurt you? Well, you've covered a lot of them already when people are like, they'll see me transform my body and they're like, oh, so what are you eating? I was like, what? Are you serious? Like, what do I eat? They'll ask, what do I need to eat? Or what's the workout? I was like, you got him and I'm like, I'll just be patient. I'm like, I just be patient. I like, like, go do this, go do this because whenever someone's like, man, I just, I can't seem to lose this weight. I was like, let's be real. You stunt, hoes. You haven't checked your blood work. You don't work out. You're not even in the ballpark. You're not even in the pumpkin. You're not even in the city. You're not. Another one is when guys like, oh, I just, I can't figure out and they'll say, I can't figure out how to close these deal. Like, what? Oh, I'm too, or I want to make a million dollars. Okay, great. Wait, I have to shoot a social media video. I don't even know how to do that. Can you make a post? That's so hard. I'm like, they just stop. Yeah, just yeah. You'll be in a play. Yeah, turn your camera on right here and you can't turn it side. You can't do that. Do you? Who are you kidding? Yeah. And so anything in that domain where people, they're playing what I call the surface confusion game. There's call action and then there's surface confusion. Other action is necessary required actions over and over and it gets boring and it's mundane and it's surface confusion is like, I need to go research the right shoes so I can go to the good. What's the best workout outfit? What? What's the best workout? What? Like, what's my knackers? What should my knackers be? I was like, what? You know, I just, you know, I've built like you. There's a lot of patients, but I don't, you can't tolerate a lot. Sorry, I don't know what that word is. Hey, so with a pee, I have no idea what that word is. I don't have to love for people like this. I'm okay. And then, yeah, because there's, there's a different domain. There's like the domain of work and high level straight lines straight at it. And then there's where you operate and we're sport. And again, it's crazy. There's some of the parents of my football team. They're like, so is my son going to play like he's, he's not happy that he's not playing a lot. I'm like, do you want the truth? And I'm like, we get out. He's just not good enough. If did you, did you see that kid over there, that kid right there is six foot four, 240 pounds is a 13 year old. You see the other word, he's six foot one, 255 pounds. Their son is like five eight, a buck, it's the five. He's like, I can coach him and I can help him. So it's that illusion that a lot of people, I'd rather just have someone tell me, did you suck? Okay. Yeah, I found the person. I knew what that. So yeah, the delusional conversations that people have is painful. Well, it's funny because the conversation that needs to have, it was like, well, that's a really hard conversation. Like, again, I was a picture. They were like, I had to coach come with me like, you've got a great arm, but you can't find the strike zone. So you're never going to make it. That's right. You know, you keep thinking it's next to the guy you kept hitting with the ball. I was like, you're right. And I knew I just can't find the strike zone. That is not a gift that was given to me. So having that harsh conversation was like, okay, I'm going to go to something else now. I'm six foot. I can't dunk a basketball. And then buy them the NBA team. I'm not going to try and be on an NBA team. Let's have a come to Jesus here. There are constants and there are variables in the equation of life. People want to sit there and change constants that are the waste of time. You influence the variables. You will get a different result. But people don't have these because they're not spending the effort to hire someone like you. That sits down and says, okay, how long do you budget your life? Okay, what's to take off your shirt? Let's have this conversation. Okay, show me your pantry. Okay, show me your habits. What are you doing with your phone? Wear a fit bit and tell me what your sleep habits look like. Because let's have a come to Jesus here. Let's really break these things down. I just don't think there's enough people that are honest enough. Even in your space to have these conversations because they want the money. They're not going to come up and have these hard hitting conversations. Well, I remember I had a guy come to my program and he was probably high, 400 pounds. He comes through like, I think we dropped, get him to drop like 150 pounds over the course of a year, get him to confront things in his marriage and his business and then he kind of faded off. So he comes back to renew and I remember he's in the room and my team's like, hey, he wants to come back in. And the renewal was like, maybe 40 brand or something. I was like, no, my team's like, I said, no, we don't wait for my car. We don't need his money. That 40 grand, if we take that, it's going to cost us. It's going to cost us energy and time. And that's not the guy we, like our program can be associated with. Like he has to be, he begged. I said, then you, I go, if I take your money, which I don't need, like he's in a group experience. I said, I need you to like follow through. Do what you're saying you're going to do? Stop doing the yo yo, stop doing the 520 diet, five days clean, two days, not clean zero results. Stop doing the yo yo in your relationships and your business. Unless I don't need you to come back six months later and ask the same questions that you asked six months ago to only feel good about all the answers you're getting. Because I've been a part of masterminds where people come every three to four months and I'm like, they're saying, like, I'm looking at my notes. You ask this four months ago, you haven't done anything about it. Are you kidding me? And to quote this, like come to Jesus, real, real talk, straight talk, fierce is tired. And people aren't willing to do that. Then you're like, did as for us. We can't take them on. You can't. It caught you more than it does to take them on. And people think that we're doing it because we get joy. I've been harsh during the hammer. I'm like, no, I'm trying to eliminate pain. I've been where you are. I know what this is. If you saw someone on fire, you're not going to ask them what it feels like or how they feel or how long they've been doing it. I'm going to try and throw a bucket of water on you as fast as I can because you're on fire. I'm not going to hold your hand and tell you you're pretty. We'll deal with that later. Now you're on fire. So it's not that we're doing this because we're like, hey, this is fun and we want to pick on people. No, I know what pain feels like. I don't want that for you. It's a level of being a high in path. However, I like me more than I like you. So I'm not going to waste my time or my energy on my paint. Here's the answer. Go do this. I've had a client similar to you. He was a 400 pounds, but he wasn't being his word. And he wanted to react. And I said, no, he's like, OK, here's the option. Here's your plan for the next three months. Send me a picture every day. Send your result every day. You have to pay me anything. Here's your plan. I will talk to you for the next 90 days. If you do all these things for the next 90 days, I will be open to having a conversation with you for 20 days. He did everything I asked him to do. Didn't do it for 90. That's cool. Thank you for saving us both a lot of time. It's not complicated. So when someone comes to you and wants to have these, how long does it take you to have this come to Jesus? But then, you know, if it's early on in the conversation that come to Jesus happens real fast, and then I tell him what it takes to work with me. They're like, oh, OK, I'm like, you should just go buy my book. And I had that the other day. I was like, hey, just, he's like, I want to do what you do. And whenever people say, I want to do what you do. That's like someone looking at a college football coach. I want to coach college football on Saturdays. Yeah. Yeah. I don't want to think that their wives are single moms because they are recruiting there. They work. They leave at 5.30 in the morning. They get home in the night for half the year. The other half they're recruiting. So it's early on where I can just say, look, here's what it's going to really take. And I need you to go home. I need you to go home and think about it. They're like, why? Because they're like, no, I'm in. I'm in. I'm in a site. You want to do what I do? You better be ready to go through hell, fire, getting nation, sleet, snow, tempest, world. Like you're going to get rejected. You're going to get kicked in the teeth. You're not going to make any money. You're going to question yourself. You're going to question like your life at all times. And if you're not ready to do that, you don't want to do what I do. It looks like you want to do what I do. So again, some people that come to Jesus is early. And for some people, they're really good at pretending. And so as a coach, I've got to check and be willing to cut them off and say, look, we can even like mid way through a relationship. And they pay significant money. I'm like, I can't, I'm going to break the agreement where we're done. Like why? I'm like, because you're wasting your time and my time and your money and money. Like you're, like, this is, we're not doing anything. I'm not a therapist. I'm not a psychologist. I'm not a doctor. If you want, if you need those things, there's great people out there that will listen to you. Yes. For hours. I am a coach who you declare what you want. We get committed. You write me a check and then we go create that thing together. And I be who I need to be for you. And you become who you need to be to go race at 250 million or to go do the Iron Man plus get your children back and or to build this thing over here and become the speaker, the influencers. Like, it's, it's not complicated. Do what's required and you will get the results that are desired. Doing your best is for kids. Doing what you know is for amateurs. I even had something the other day. It said, you know, we gave it all we had. So go easy. And I'm like, that's why you failed. That's why you felt it. And I just, you know, I had to block these guys. I'm like, I'm not, they're trying to call shout me out. I'm like, I coach people for a living. Like if you don't do what's required, you will never get what you desire. Like your answer right there, we gave it all we had us. Like go, go back to the job. That's, and that's okay. Yeah. It's not bad. And that's okay. That's your late staying your late. So if so, once the workers, what do they have to do to require, what's required before they even pick up the phone or reach out and say, what would you like them to do in advance? Because I've got a laundry list for me. Yeah. So for me, I tell people, I'll tell people, look, go listen to like a dozen of my podcasts. Go get a feel for my energy and how I talk. Go buy my book. It's called Game Janger, right? That's satemangali.com for a slash game. So go ahead. I'm running the free place shipping right now. Go pay 12 bucks. Just it will ship you the buck. There's an audio book like read that. And then go, go look at yourself in the mirror and have a real, real conversations. Because if you're going to come to me and we're going to have a conversation, it's going to be really simple. I'll just select this is what it takes to work with me. You write me that check and then it's a significant investment. But it's a real commitment. That commitment means that you're going to change everything in your world. You're going to go upside down inside out. And so I just tell people, like, and most people wanting, they won't go listen to the podcast. They won't bottom read the book. That makes it really, really easy for me. But if someone's like, well, I read your book, I went through the podcast, I bought your three different courses. I'm like, let's have a conversation. So those simple hurdles, just weed most people out because it's like that I really want to do what you do. Can we talk? No. No. No, these things first. Yeah. So if people want to track you down and find those books and find those courses and find the podcast, where are all these things? How do they find you? So like my site, www.setmageal.com, that's my first and last name. If you do a four slash game changer, it's going to take you to the book. My podcast is called Game Changer with Seteemangali. So there's 600 episodes you can choose from. There's all kinds from 10 years ago to five years ago to three years ago. And my podcast are short. They're punchy. So it just gives you a feel. And again, everything is on the hub of my site, my socials. But there's some people like you got one shot at life on myth of planet. So if you're not actively and intentionally building the life you want, then you are unintentionally building a life that you don't want. And that's on you. So my slides to temmaha.com, you'll see my socials, you'll see the book. It's all there. And it's what we've talked about here. It's not easy. But again, living a life of regret is not easy. And I talk to people all the time about they're like, well, organic is so expensive. I'm like, it's cheaper than kimo. Going through your entire life and wasting your time and sitting around and go, oh, maybe I'll do it one day. It's far more expensive than reaching out to someone like you. And I can't appreciate it or thank you enough for coming on. I mean, I really appreciate your spending the time. It's great to be here. Thank you for the great conversation. It was awesome. We don't have these conversations to offer with other podcast hosts or people because we did. It's usually pretty fluffy. So I appreciate you, man, so much. Yeah, these are the private conversations that don't normally have it. So thank you for being having the courage to do it out in public and have that real. Because most people just want to make money versus like, let's have a real come to Jesus. So thank you for having the audience have a come to Jesus man. I appreciate it. Appreciate it. All right. That wraps up our episode. This was one of those that I was actually a little worried about publishing. But we both sat down and he and I were like, you know what? Let's get into them. No one out there's been honest. No one's talking about what's proven for real success. Not holding your hand and trying to give it fluff. That's not what he does. That's not what made him successful. That's not what anybody makes anybody successful. I hope you guys like this one. I hope you give you insights. I hope you've stuck through even though it was uncomfortable. But it's the only way to be successful. All right. I'll see you in the next one.