The Chris Cross Hand-Off: The Whole Milk

Is this the Yacht Channel? Is that what this is? Little Yacht Rock? Yacht Rock. Yacht Rock. That's what this... Little Kid Rock. Is this Kid Rock? Slow My Roll. Oh. What do we know? I don't know anything. Where's your coolness, Dan? It's the coolest segment of the day. That's why we need cool music. My coolness left in 1988, Joan. Is that when your hair fell off? That is exactly when my hair began to fall off. Did you miss it earlier today? I wish I had the audio. Joan, like, body slammed Sam. It was great. I don't know if it was body slam. Oh, it was a body slam. So Sam was complaining because we are apparently here on Nashville's Morning News in fifth grade. Sam is complaining that nobody noticed or said anything about his haircut. And Joan said, oh, I noticed. I can see the bald spot in the back with your new haircut. Then she says, oh, and by the way, you're growing on the sides. I mean, it was just like, I mean, I got to ask, Sam, are you okay? Because that was pretty harsh, even by Joan standards. I ran my fingers through my hair, and I felt better. Yeah, keep doing that. It'll continue to fall out. I mean, I don't know. You guys didn't notice his haircut? I did, but I just didn't say anything. Like, are we supposed to say something when you get a haircut? What was the first thing I said to you when I saw you, Sam? That's a nice haircut. The haircut looks sharp. All right, so Sam, Joan, bite. Oh, Chris. I really did. That was like literally the first thing I said when I walked in. All right. All right. No, well, actually, I said, I thought Mason was going to be here. Then I went, oh, haircut looks sharp. Okay, good. So just so we're clear then, by Sam's standards, I shave my head every day. So we should all notice. So y'all got to tell me every day that my haircut looks great. Are you really shaving that thing every day? Every day. You know when I do it? Joe knows this. Do you know when I do it? On the way here. In the car. That's so gross. You got little stubble shavings in the car. It's like built up. Do you know what I think? Somebody with like a scratch ticket addiction, but in your car, it's not the shavings from the scratch ticket. It's from the scalp. I for sure thought you were going to say shower, by the way. No, I've tried it in the shower and it just, it doesn't work. So Sam's mind is in the gutter and it has been for like weeks. I don't know what's going on with you at home, Sam, but you need to work that out. Oh my. So anyway, the follicle shavings actually stay in the skull shaver. I don't believe it. Why would you not believe it? Well, send a forensics team then to his car. I guarantee you. We don't want to do that, John. I guarantee you. There's scalp stubble in between the seats and caked into like the gear shits. Do you know what? I'd be willing to bet that there's worse in Sam's car. The way that he's been behaving. No. Just pointing fingers. Yeah. You're avoiding the topic at hand. I'm not avoiding the topic at hand. And why is my voice going up? Do you have, and people have been asking about this, do you have a more formal scally cap for tonight's festivities? Every week on the Stacking Benjamins podcast, we talk personal finance trends. Not paying attention to the headlines is the strategy proven to work. One headline, economists fear global recession. Literally the next headline. stocks hit all-time highs, investors optimistic on the future. They're even doing it to the weather now. 28 million people in the path of this snowstorm. That means 340 million people have got good weather. It's just weather. Layers, people. Layers. Stacking Benjamins. Follow and listen on your favorite platform. Do you need something formal? I mean, you're going to the State of the Union. You've got to class it up. I'm almost ashamed to admit this because I'm going to get crucified. You do. Amy's going to start laughing at this. You do. I have been waiting for my special State of the Union scallycap to arrive, and it has not arrived yet, and I'm very upset. We're down to the wire. I ordered two, and this was like a week and a half ago. Well, you're like George Costanza. You're going to dress by mood. That's exactly right. And then I ordered another one over the weekend, and I said to Amy, honey, I've got a problem because I just keep ordering these things. What is the total number of Scalicaps that you currently own? Once my three come in, I've got about 10. Okay. What? That's a lot of Scalicaps. It's not a lot of Scalicaps. Joan, is that a... Okay. Ask Grock, Joan. No, because, you know, you ask women how many blouses do they have, and you're not going to, you know, yell at a woman for having 10 blouses. Why should I be yelled at for having... I probably have 10 golf hats Okay there you go So I not that far off from Joan And honestly I do I like my scally caps. I like to have, like, one of the scally caps that I ordered has some red in it, and I've got a couple of red shirts. It's going to go really well together. Grok says, more than eight, you have a problem. No, it doesn't. Does it really? It does, yes. Okay. You got a cog you can't clear? Shut up. You have been putting together an outfit for the State of the Union. Outfits. Yes, ultimately, I need to have a number of different options, Joan, because I need to, you know, dress according to my mood. And my mood is darkening as this segment goes on. Anyway, so there you go. Yeah, there's nothing wrong with my scout. You know what? People like my scally caps. I don't care if they, if some people want to be haters, that's all fine, well, and good. I started a trend. You know what? Before long, I guarantee you Murphy Show is going to start wearing scally caps or he's going to ask me to borrow one of mine. By the way, did you hear what Murphy did yesterday on his show? He's very upset. Do you, do you still, you don't still have that audio queued up, do you, Sam? I'll grab it. So apparently Matt took it upon himself to say that whoever buys the last ticket to the Stake of the Union gets to draw a doodle on my head. Oh. With a Sharpie. Do we have the lucky winner? Well, they bought it. I sold the last three in the 5 o'clock hour. Well, and Matt revised, so no one could sandbag and wait to the last minute, that if you bought in the last five tickets, there would be a lottery raffling off of Dan's head. This is exciting. What do you think they're going to draw? Nothing, because I didn't agree to this. But then you know what we did? Oh, look out, guys. The no fun police is here. If you are amongst the number that buy the final ticket, if you're the final ticket, you get to sign Dan Mandis' head with a Sharpie. Did you speak with Dan about this? No, no, no. This is all good. It's all been cleared. This is fine. This is all fine. Yeah, oh, sure. It'll be fine. Dan's a teammate. He's a team member. I mean, heck, I'm buying libations for some folks, grown people. I'll have to check IDs. But, no, you're not grown enough. But, yeah, so it'll be fine. So the final, if you are amongst it, and you know what? I'll tell you what I'll do. Just to make it fair, just so that some of you don't sandbag and try to wait, we'll do a lottery. Of the last five people that buy tickets, we'll do a lottery, and one of you will get to sign Mandis' head. Yeah, that's not going to happen. Why not? Because it's my head, Chris. It's my head. You'll be able to take it off with a scraper tomorrow morning on your ride in. No. If they sign my head with a Sharpie, it takes a long time for that Sharpie to... I think. I think you'd be all right. Do you know what we decided? It says the man with a full head of hair. But you know what? We actually started joking around in the 5 o'clock hour because apparently we were lacking in content. And what we've come up with, will you look at the Daily Dan poll and see? Oh, I was already there. Okay. So I decided that for charity. This was so negative. for charity if we want to take like chalk or something and people pay like I don't know why you're saying chalk whatever something easily wash offable and they want to do something on my head then they can't draw a picture or something on my head for charity I would allow it for charity and so we did a daily Dan poll would you pay money to draw on mandis's head overwhelmingly 65 of the youtube audience said no and i'm really disappointed in you people that said no i'm a little bit concerned about the 35 that said yes so i i don't know joan would you uh for charity would you um you know draw on my head uh gladly oh you know what no no no no no because i know you joan you get that close to my head you're going to like slip my throat. No, no, I do tires. She's got the knife for the tires and she might just start going crazy on the jugular. Yeah, I know, right? Matt Murphy's texting me. He's accusing you of not loving America because you're not going to let anybody sign your head. Oh, is that what it is? I don't love America? I know exactly what Joan would put on Dan's head. I could have advanced here put a hairy D on my head Yeah You could Yeah Do you know what so funny What so funny Chris and Joan is that it our computer that is crashing and not his With all the stupid sound bites on it. Oh, that's in a folder in my section of the audio file capacity that says never delete. Forever memories. It's good to know. Dan is a communist, says 1155. Oh, my God. 4730, they make washable markers. They do. Dan with a Ron Burgundy silly cap with the hair attached. Yes, Dave. I love that idea. I think I mentioned on the air, my wife for April Fool's Day, maybe I'll do it this year, for the last couple of years, She's wanted me to arrive at work with a Bob Ross wig. You know who Bob Ross is? Yeah. Yeah, with the big frizzy hair. Well, we're talking about, this is not the first time we've talked about Bob Ross. We were talking about him yesterday. Remember? I said Mason is like our Gen Z Bob Ross. Yes. That was after, yeah. Exactly. Let's see here. Dan just got a predator beanie and no one will judge. I'm not sure what a predator beanie is. I don't know. I don't think you want that. it's either the Nashville Predators or in reference to Predator. Like how to catch a predator? I was going to say Arnold Schwarzenegger. That Predator movie. Dan Bongino returns. It's real. You better produce something fast. And he's not holding back. Dan, that's backwards. No, I'm telling you the truth. Hard truths and a bold perspective no one else can offer. You may not hear this anywhere else. I'm always under the assumption that you're being played, we're being played. Man, this show continues to expand its footprint. I love you guys for it. It's the comeback everyone's been waiting for. If there was ever a time, it is this one. The Dan Bongino Show. Follow and listen on your favorite platform. I did Chris Hansen. Yeah, right. I just didn't know where they were going with it. Anyway, so if anybody, and people are laughing now at 3042, wash offable, Dan. Wash offable, Dan. The California school system did you well. Well done, 3042. What about temporary tattoos on your head? You know, the whole point is to have people make their drawing, take a picture, and then wash it off for charity. You know what? I'm disappointed in the people that won't do it for charity. You're going to walk away from that looking like a Chipotle bag. That's all right. Anyway, you looking forward to it tonight? I am. And I'm going to buy anybody that wants it a big, tall glass of whole milk. Okay, so I probably should understand the reference, so go ahead. A woke New York City professor has made the claim that whole milk is racist. Oh, you're kidding me. Arthur Kaplan. He teaches bioethics at New York University. I know Arthur Kaplan. Do you? You do not. Yes, I do. Can you get him on the phone? He wants his coffee black. he said the whole milk for healthy kids act which president trump signed on january 14th is racist he wasn't always this crazy he was actually a very normal man for a long time and tds hit him big he is saying that whole milk has become a symbol for white supremacists nazis were enamored of whole milk as well he wrote in a bioethics today blog wow nazis also breathed oxygen so just be careful he's lost his mind he said i'm i'm suspicious milk drinking is political drinking whole white milk has played a big role in racist and far-right thinking in america drinking whole milk has for years been part of alt-right white nationalist messaging in tweets memes and videos what about half and half the way to solve this no it's got to be a little chocolate in it well then i'm okay because i don't drink whole milk i do two percent 1%, half and half of my coffee. I'm not racist. Neener, neener, neener. Kaplan said, images of white people chugging milk are popular on racist sites. If you can't drink milk, you have to go back. He wrote his bioethics today, Tyree. 24-7, what if I add Hershey's syrup to it? Doesn't count. Doesn't count? Doesn't count. That's what I was saying. I'd do chocolate milk any day. I will. I will buy a glass of whole milk for anybody that wants it tonight. You know, Joan is our local, you know, DEI hire willing to drink chocolate milk. Totally kidding. She did come from D.C. after all. She sure did. And then, you know, Maryland, living in Maryland and that whole thing. We should start calling her Deep State Joan I know That very funny I got told one time when I was in D that I had to stop using the Deep State words Really? Yeah. Yeah. Do you mean the words Deep State? Yep, they didn't want to talk about Deep State on the air. Sounds like something members of the Deep State would say. He needs some milk. He's just looking up milk sound effects for us. Yeah. Is that what that was? It's like the most famous milk-related meme-ing is a black woman saying he needs some milk. What about the milk mustache? What commercial was that? Oh, remember that? Oh, you want to trigger the left? Have Donald Trump and Stephen Miller and J.D. Vance take pictures and post them with them with the milk mustaches. That would be funny. The milk mustaches, if I recall correctly, were actually Elmer's glue. No, they weren't. Yeah, for the photo shoots. No, it was not. I swear. It wasn't real milk. Sam's going to the computer. It wasn't real milk. By the way, we're going to start calling Joan Maryland Woman. No, you're not. Oh, no, you're not. Oh, no, no, no. Okay, Maryland Woman. 0727. Dan, we can tell you drink 2%. Is drinking... Dan's on almond milk. Dan's out here milking oats to get his lattes. I've actually had almond milk. It's pretty good. Unsweetened almond milk. I used to put almond milk in my shakes. Oh, it was not glue. What was it? It was a combination of dairy products. Milk, cream cheese, and ice cream to ensure it stayed on the lip during photo shoots. Stuff about his glue. What kind of websites are you on? It's the same place he gets the, you know, all the birds are spies. You know the birds aren't real. Keith wants to know. He stayed Joan covering for the birds again. That's what we got here. Let's see here. I lost it now. Oh, Keith, is wanting white teeth racist? Yes, wicked racist. Because I've had my teeth whitened. Especially if you use charcoal toothpaste because then they go from black to white. Oh, yeah. Okay. You know you can do anything is racist. There's a game that we played on the show when I first started. you can any any phrase any term you could have somebody text in and then you could type in is blank racist yes and you will get an article about why it's racist everything is racist chat gpt was asked use one word to describe white people it said racist and it said someone prompted it again use one word to describe black people it said empowered are you serious yeah chat gpt did that wow wow stunning and brave uh 35 14 dan soy milk now i've never had in my defense i've never had soy milk have you no joan uh no sam be honest no soy okay cow and breast only okay oh my gosh i got that now i just got it oh my gosh listen i'm firing on no cylinders just so we're clear it's been a long day anyway uh moving right along i was gonna say i fully expected to get a text after the state of the union that you got that joke yeah you know what i'm i'm on like a like a four-hour delay on sam jokes anyway moving right along uh what time are you gonna get there today? Probably like five-ish, I think. Okay. What are you thinking? Probably about the same. About five o'clock. Well, we gotta get in and have our steak while people are staring at you. No, I'm not gonna eat a steak. You're not gonna eat a steak? No, I'm not gonna eat a steak. Why? Because I like to mingle, and we've talked about this yesterday. I don't like to eat with all those people around. I like to spend my time hanging out with, you know, the peeps. Can I ask a favor? Hold on, Joe. I know what Joe wants. No, you can't have my steak. I want you to bring it to work tomorrow. So you're going to eat dinner before you go there? Well, I'm a man of a certain age. I eat dinner at like 2 o'clock in the afternoon. You get the early bird special? Absolutely. So what are you going to have for dinner while the rest of us get to have succulent steak from Legend Steakhouse? Something with 2% milk. Oh. All right, moving right along. This isn't your average podcast. This is one of the most, if not the most controversial podcasts. This is Full Send. Do you like Party Ever? I think Post Malone told me once he went to one of your parties. What was the biggest after party you guys ever did? We had one with you guys. Unfiltered conversations. I'm not going to say any names, but. We got Dr. Phil pulling up. Jake Paul's coming in today. Benjamin Netanyahu. He's about to walk into the podcast right now. I feel like he leaves. Yeah, maybe. The Full Send Podcast. This is so crazy. Follow and listen on your favorite platform.