I Deliberately Forgot My Dad's Birthday To Teach Him A Lesson! | r/AITA Reddit

Humans, it is I, HypnoCat. Never bin batteries or electricals. They cause fires when crushed in bin lures. Always recycle them separately from your regular rubbish and recycling. Search, recycle your electricals to find shops and recycling banks where you can drop them off. Paypal Plus, no less. It's a new rewards program where you can earn points, redeem points, and it's free. That's right. You can turn pounds into points on pretty much everything you buy with PayPal. Then you can redeem those points at millions of places online with PayPal. No fees, no caps, or limits. Sign up for PayPal Plus for free in the app. Pay Smarter PayPal. Rewards are earned as points through PayPal Plus. You must be enrolled to earn rewards. Eligible purchases is only. Teas and seas apply. Hey, it's Angela and Vicki from the podcast Get A Grip and we are currently brought to you by Cancer Research UK. One constant battle that we all face is the piles of clutter around the place that we don't actually need. Well, this is why donating your things to Cancer Research UK is the way to go. Nearly one in two people will get cancer in their lifetime and all of us can support the research that will beat it. Our purchases and donations help to raise vital funds for life-saving cancer research. Donate your good quality pre-loved or brand new items to your local Cancer Research UK shop. For more information, visit cruk.org forward slash pre-loved. This is a story from, yep, it was me mate who says I'm IVR soul for deliberately pretending to forget my dad's birthday and leaving him to spend it alone. My 44 female dad, 73 male, has never remembered my birthday. It was slightly covered up when I was a child because my mum always remembered. A couple of times when she wasn't around, it fell to him and he totally failed. So, for example, I got nothing on my 18th birthday because my mum was away for three months. My sister, 46 female, had a party with friends, a new dress and lovely gifts when she turned 18. Every year, it's the same. My two siblings, I have a much younger brother, 33 male, aren't great at this kind of thing, but I always remind them it's dad's birthday so they can send him a card and call. Since my mum died a decade ago, I usually take him out to dinner and give him a gift so he's not alone. A couple of times I've thrown him a surprise party and for his 70th, I threw a big event where his extended family flew in. I always point out to him when he is forgotten mine. I've told him I find it very hurtful. He just shakes it off and says it isn't important, even though I just told him it was important to me. And he forgets it again, every year. This year at Christmas, he was talking about something relevant. So, I took the opportunity to tell him that he needs to make the effort. And I asked him when I was born. He couldn't even come up with a year. He mocked me for being sensitive and inside I just let it all go. He has a phenomenal memory. It's ludicrous that he won't do this for me. I don't even want a gift, though I won't lie, it would be nice. Just a happy birthday call or a card. Well, his 73rd birthday just rolled around. I didn't remind my siblings about it so they both forgot. He rang me the day before. I knew why, but I chatted about random things and then said I had to run and quickly ended the call. On his birthday, I turned off my phone and went out. He rang me the next day and said that no one remembered his birthday, not even a card or a phone call. And he just spent it alone. I guarantee that's a first. I told him he had made it abundantly clear that birthdays were not important and that he was reaping what he sowed. He grumply agreed with me, but he's still mad. I'm sorry his feelings got hurt because I do love him. But I think this is just the way it's going to be from now on. Unless he steps up and gets me flowers, a kitten and some Turkish delight for my 45th. In which case, we're all good. Just for your information, I don't neglect him. I order his groceries every week and bring him around dinner every Monday. And this is a blind spot for him. He's honestly a nice man and he can be very generous when it occurs to him. And this is an absolute not the arsehole for me. I was questioning why you haven't done this sooner to be quite honest, but he's never bothered to do the bare minimum for you, even though you've expressed it time and time again. So you're basically reciprocating here. You didn't do it out of spite. You simply stopped doing the emotional labor of managing everyone else's relationship with him when he couldn't be bothered for you. I mean, the fact that you still handle his groceries for him and you bring him dinner every now and then, you know, it's simply about boundaries in this. He can make the choice to step up now if he wants to. But I don't blame you at all when you've been dismissed multiple times here. Opie has one comment and says, I mean, I won't lie, it did feel a little bit good. And that made me feel guilty. Hence this post. Someone was down voted and they said, you're the arsehole, but you regret this when he's gone. Opie replied saying, a few people have said this, I thought it through and it's not like I'm missing the chance to see him one last time before he blows away like fricking thistle down. I see him twice a week and do his shopping and cook for him at least once each week. I took him on holiday 10 days last year and 14 the year before. And we have a break in Devon planned in April. I'm a good daughter. I phone him most days. I'm just sick of being treated as the lowest ranked child. I'm after mutual respect here and I'm worth it. I won't snub anyone, let alone a daughter like this. And yet he thinks it's okay. I've read what about 200 people have said and I accept that they are telling me this is deliberate. Why? I don't know, but it is. He has a brain like a computer. He remembers everything, everything. So he's choosing to do this and it sucks. And I'm giving it back to him now. Someone did ask why Opie waited until now. Opie says, I don't know. I genuinely don't know why this one broke me. Also, it wasn't just my 18th. I just brought that up because it's a big one. And the contrast with my sister was so profound. There were other birthdays when I was a child that were forgotten because my mom wasn't always around. I'm from the UK and she was from Eastern Europe and occasionally went to visit her wider family for a while when we were kids. It was Christmas day after lunch when we had the chat I mentioned and I'd spent the whole of Christmas Eve cooking and I'd worked so hard to make it a beautiful day. I'd chosen, bought and wrapped all his presents to quite a few people. He just gives me a budget for everyone and a check and he gives my sister a check to do the same for some of the rest of the family. And I was chatting with my sister and found out that the budget for my baby brother's Christmas gift is twice the budget for mine. And then dad and I had that crap chat about my birthday. I was really hurt. But maybe I was looking to grow a spine for a while. I don't know. Opie says, I saw a therapist recently and though I didn't bring this up as one of the things I wanted to get on top of, maybe I'll listen to what some of the life advice he gave me. Opie also says, I've literally been with him on my birthday and he's given my sister a gift for hers, which falls a couple of weeks before mine because he didn't see her in between. In fairness, she was horrified. I'm definitely his. We have loads of identical physical things and I look like a frickin twin to his two sisters in pics where we're the same age. I'm queer and didn't give him any grandchildren. But he didn't know that until I was in my late 30s. So that's no excuse. I know I wasn't planned, but I was always assured I was very welcome. I've really listened to what people are telling me. Unlike you, I now realize that this isn't accidental. It's deliberate. This had genuinely never occurred to me. I will wait for a time when we're relaxed in a neutral situation and ask him why. I'm interested in what he says and this whole Reddit experience has helped me move away from being emotionally invested to being curious, which is a huge positive shift. Grateful to all the strangers who took time to give me this objectivity. Oh, I still love my dad. Opie goes on to say, I think he was genuinely shocked that my brother forgot because he's the golden child, etc. But I've been reminding my brother for years that I was pretty sure, without me giving him a heads up, that he would forget and I wasn't wrong. In fairness, my dad's attitude has rubbed off on him a bit. I would say that my sister is incredibly overwhelmed right now with life, so I feel a bit bad that I didn't remind her. My sister is an angel and my best friend and I'm lucky to have her. Opie says we're actually good friends most of the time. He's a bit of a dinosaur when it comes to women and, air quotes, the gays. So I guess I'm never going to be the special one, but he and I usually get on well together and he wasn't a terrible dad. When I was young, he did not have a son, so I was very much his stand-in son and we were very close. Someone says about the dad sounds neurotypical and says, hmm, he's been assessed. He has mild OCD, makes him amazing at scheduling things and remembering dates and details. That's why I won't cut him any slack anymore. He really, really doesn't have ADHD. He is superb at task management, scheduling, planning. I mean, really good. He has a great memory and never forgets details or dates. And he had therapy and analysis for his OCD, which my mum also had. So they'd be looking for this kind of thing. I do his groceries because he is too lazy to do it himself. On the iPad, I bought him. He always has a perfect list for me waiting Sunday mornings. He knows the contents of his cupboard down to the last slice of bread. He's excellent at planning. If he goes on to say it was hard because I love him and I was brought up to be a generous person who celebrates my friends and family. Not doing that was very hard for me. And I mean, realistically, I know he prefers my brother and sister to me. I'm just not sure why because damn it, I'm a very good daughter to him. And my sister bought him a paper calendar this year and filled in my birthday and my brothers and all four grandkids. So let's see. It was roughly about nine months after this that OP came into update. And they said, okay, so I deleted the original Reddit account for reasons. I made some foolish comments. People called me out and I panicked. But it was my birthday last week and some people asked me to do an update. So I made a new one and here it goes. It was the afternoon of my birthday and the phone rang. It was my dad. We chatted about stuff and did an online grocery order for him together. And then the conversation went kind of like this. He said, oh, and darling, and he said, what? He said, happy birthday. If he said, where is my father and what have you done with his body? And he said, none of that. So that was nice. And later when I saw him the next day, he gave me a glass flower bowl that had been my mom's that he got my sister to wrap for me, which was also very nice. So all the people who said I should have played hardball before, maybe you were right. And all the people who said I only get one dad and I should just love him. I really do. I haven't neglected him the last X months, I promise. So whatever the reason for the weird stuff in the past, maybe a bad thing happened to him on my birthday, maybe you always resented the fact that my name wasn't the one he and mum originally agreed on or whatever. I seem to have broken the curse. Dad remembered my birthday this year and gave me a nice gift. Thanks Reddit. Opiead's one more comment saying, I've been thinking about it since my first post when Reddit made me realize there was a deliberate element going on here. I have decided it was a case of extreme doubling down. He felt guilty about missing my important birthdays when I was young and it made him feel better to take the but it didn't matter because it was an important path and just to apologize and improve, I forced a change in quite a harsh manner and he has buckled. People are complicated creatures. And as you can imagine on the back of that one, people didn't take this one too well saying he hasn't learned nothing. I mean, he got the sister to wrap up the present in the end and that the bar was just extremely low, especially after what Opiead does for him. But what do you guys make of this situation? Let us know your thoughts down in the comments below. And let's move on to another story. Our next story comes from perfect swim8981 from the true of my chest subreddit and it just said he cheated. He really cheated. It starts, I'm on mobile and typing through my tears. Yesterday, I, 26 female, got a hey girly DM from an old college friend, G, 27 female, about my husband, our 28 male. As far as I knew, she was living in a different city, but apparently she moved to our city like eight months ago. She sent me screenshots of their messages and their sex. That selfies of them after they fucked. Why? I've been busy at work and admittedly not spending as much time at home, but he's the love of my life and I never thought he could do something like this. I confronted Aaron, admitted it right away. He said it was supposed to be a one time thing. He and G met up for dinner when she moved, but things progressed. So they started dating. Yes, dating. She had no idea about me. He doesn't post me on his socials because his online presence is dedicated to his personal fitness business. So she just assumed he was a fit, handsome, single guy. He never mentioned me once. It was only when G started mentioning marriage in kids that are got nervous and dodgy and mentioned trouble with his ex-wife if they were to get married. The ex-wife being me is wife for four years. She mentioned this because, drum roll, she's three months pregnant. Thinking they were exclusive, she hasn't slept with anyone else, which means the baby is his. His. She googled my name and found out that not only were we together, we were fucking married. Four years of marriage, three more years of dating down the drain. I told Ard to get the fuck out and he tried to argue, but he knew he had no chance. He's staying at a friend's house and after looking on Reddit for so long, I texted him my entire reason for kicking him out. They sent an apology reply admitting to everything. So have it all in writing. I'm still messaging G. She feels totally awful about the whole situation and I really feel for her. We've actually become close in the last day or two, as weird as that sounds. But we're both in the middle of some trauma and leaning on each other has helped. I'm leaving him if that wasn't clear. She has also said she wants nothing to do with our accept child support. I texted him to come over tomorrow to talk and he said he would and I contacted a lawyer this morning and sent her everything I have. She replied after about two hours and said this case wouldn't be a problem. Basically, it was a slam dunk. She also offered to mention the case to a colleague in Family Court, but G hasn't made her mind up about that yet. She's just as overwhelmed about this as I am. I'm just grateful I didn't have kids with this son of a bitch. I'm still young and hot while ours are gross, cheating cheater. Anyway, not really looking for advice here. I'm aware of my way forward. Just want to get this off my chest. Edit and I thank you all for the advice regarding G. I'll be cutting contact after she gets her test results back. And edit too, you were all right. G is up to something. Tomorrow, once I've had some sleep, I'll update further. I thank you all for your advice. You know what you're getting with a bank holiday weekend? Traffic, drizzle, service station snacks, the sea, look the sea, Pebbly Beach, aggressive seagulls, drinks at the local cafe slash nightclub, a late night takeaway, chili, garlic. Sometimes in life, you just know what you're getting like a luxury bed and a great night's sleep. You know what you're getting the premiere in humans. It is I hypno cat, never been batteries or electricals. They cause fires when crushed in bin buries. Always recycle them separately from your regular rubbish and recycling. Search, recycle your electricals to find shops and recycling banks where you can drop them off. Tasty says, I doubt G isn't going to accept his apologies. As a child involved, don't get too close to her or tell her anything of substance. Angry girl says, best advice right here. She's your ally now, but just wait until the smoke clears. As similar situation happened, minus the pregnancy, and she was my bestie, we were helping each other deal with the pain of both being lied to by this monster. She didn't want to have anything to do with him and I was going to divorce after being together for 15 years. Bitch played me like a piano. After the initial shock and hurt, her goal was to get me to sign divorce papers so she could marry him. She was welcome to him, but once I realized I dragged out the divorce for two more years. Then an OP came in with their first update and said, well, what an update I have for you all. Last night, I got into a huge argument with R over the phone talking about how my bitch for breaking up with him and plenty of other nasty things. Through the night, I was anxious and insomniatic. So I asked her so much of your advice, I started distancing myself from G. She sensed this and things blew up. She went into a rage and told me she had known about me. She knew I got married through mutual friends on Instagram. My profile is private, but friends and family posted about the wedding, so G saw our wedding photos. G texted me this morning after waking up to so many texts. She called me a fake bitch who makes up circumstances and lies about details. I blocked her after that. In my posts and my texts, I was as accurate as possible without divulging too many details. I was also feeling petty from the lack of sleep, so I did tag R in an Instagram story telling everyone he was a cheater. A few people responded saying they unfollowed and blocked him. I deleted it after three hours, but I know that the screenshots were taken and the damage has been done. He called early this morning, asked him to talk, but I said everything was better said over text. So I had receipts and he obliged. He basically said he'd accept divorce and give me almost everything I asked for, namely RTV and my car, since he'd contributed to some payments. We didn't have many flashy things other than our gaming consoles and neither of us are interested in the others. This obviously wasn't legally binding, but I'd imagine it's good ammo in the divorce. I came back before work to get a bunch of his things and were able to talk face to face. He apologized and asked, almost begged for my forgiveness. Remembering comments about my dignity, I politely but firmly declined. He actually took this pretty well and asked me if I had any questions. I asked him, uh, what the fuck happened? According to R, she contacted him before she even moved. As many suspected, she knew about me from the beginning, but simply didn't care. She didn't say outright that she was trying to get pregnant, but she gloated to her friends about having unprotected sex with R many times. So it's definitely suspicious as hell. He said he just couldn't resist her. To be quite frank, Reddit, I'm hotter than her. There's no question. As the one thing about this whole situation that brings me a bit of light, I went as predicted by so many of you, G and R are apparently still in a relationship. They're planning on keeping the baby and get this two or three hours after I wrote this out, he posted the gender reveal on his public Instagram, like I never fucking existed. He's trying to get rent money from me, but there's not a chance in hell I'll be given a cent to him. In fact, I'll be taking nearly everything. He knows he doesn't stand a chance at getting any of the furniture that I paid for or the vinyls I bought. Fuck him. So many comments gave great advice and I'm so grateful. I've officially cut off G and I'm in the process of cutting off R outside the divorce. I'm living comfortably by myself in our apartment. I have a decent salary so I can afford it. But I let our landlord know that I'll be ending the lease in two months. He has a studio available, but I'm not sure I'll take it. For now, I'm in contact with my lawyer who says this whole process can be done in six months if everything goes well. I have a ton of hope for my future and I truly appreciate all of you who commented on my first post. I might post a further update or I might not. Regardless, I will get a happy ending and I'll be happy to start fresh without him. Good riddance. The top commenter on this post said, I'd literally tell every single person connected to her what she did. Parents, family, friends, boss, coworkers make her post detailing everything that happened. Her actions, his actions and how she wanted to be with you through it all. She's still his second choice. That's hilarious to me and pitiful for her. I'd end the post with congrats husband and ex-friend. I hope you both live the life you deserve. I literally send her a congratulation gift with off-brand items with a snarky message. She's a loser and so is he. He has to scramble for a place to live and play nice with a woman that baby trapped him. She was obviously jealous of you and has been for years and wanted him. She didn't steal your man. She stole your problem. She was I rate that he wanted you in your marriage after she worked so hard to destroy it. That baby was made out of desperation on her part and idiocracy on his. That's sad. That child was created out of betrayal and lust, not love. Add this to your post too. She systematically went after your husband. That's diabolical. Good riddance to the both of them. Eight days later, OP comes in with a small update and says, hey, I wanted to give you a quick update before I leave this account for a while. We'll perhaps check in periodically after a few drinks. Divorces in the works. G is still pregnant. R's things are out of my house. The same I landlord understood would be an understatement and I'm able to stay in my current place. Spoiler, I'm going to end up on top. Sorry, this isn't the juicy update some of you were anticipating, but the fact remains that I'm better for this whole shit show and moving on means becoming stronger. Thanks for all your support, everyone. I kept this login info so I hope to update you. Reminder, you're loved and you matter. Love always. Nine months later, OP updates once again and says, hey, you all just found this account again after months. So I figured I'd give an update. Original post is still on my profile. Quick recap, my ex cheated with a friend of mine from college and she got pregnant and it was his. She reached out to me to let me know because apparently she hadn't known about me before and it came out that she planned this. Honestly, it was a pretty painless divorce. He didn't fight for much since I bought most of our stuff. I left our place after my lease was up and moved about four hours away. My work is remote now so it wasn't a hard transition and I got to move closer to a lot of loved ones. R&G are still together and they had their baby not too long ago. I don't keep up with their lives anymore for my own peace. I've been dating around a bit but not much. I've been going to therapy and working through a lot of trust issues that came from this. But it's a slow process so I'm not in any kind of place to be in a serious relationship. I'm happy though. I don't worry about things as much. I'm able to get more work done and I'm able to have more meaningful fun with the people I love. It's a rather boring but an overwhelmingly positive update. Thanks for reading my story. We have another update in a moment but CGM says oh he's 100% gonna cheat on her too if he isn't already. I still remember that part where he told you I couldn't resist like he tripped and fell into someone else's bed. He's a gym trainer surrounded by sweaty temptation and tight yoga shorts slash pants all day long. She didn't steal your man. She stole your problematic trash that she mustook for treasure. Immaculate says don't be surprised if he is cheated on her. He has resentment built since he got caught. Baby Mama fucked his nice life. Knowing he's a gym trainer he's aware he downgraded per OP's words. Even if Baby Mama found out he cheated she isn't the type to leave with their kid hence more incentive for him to cheat on his baby mama. Baby Mama thinks she won but in the long run she will be miserable. So it was three months after this that OP came in with another update. And said my 27 female ex-husband RR4 years cheated on me last year with a college friend of mine G and she ended up pregnant, read my post history for context. I left him and he moved in with G and they had a baby. I haven't kept up with him since. As I'm sure everyone's surprised RR cheated on G. I found out through a friend who still follows G on socials because she made a post blasting him and all his actions. An old man. What a blast. Y'all this was the kind of post that's once in a lifetime. G aired all of their dirty laundry and it was just a hell of a post. G found out RR had given her some STI. She didn't specify which but implied it was treatable and for some reason she stayed with him. Likely the baby there just had but later she found out he'd been cheating since before she even had the baby. Anyway G found out she was pregnant with her second baby. She told RR and he was so excited and they went out to celebrate. R got a little too drunk and made some weird fucking comments that made G think something was very wrong. He'd given G his phone passcode. Old as hell in my opinion and after he passed out she checked his text and he had and I quote two fucking bitches he was texting in his recent messages. I'm glad. I won't say G ruined my life because she didn't but she planned to separate me and RR and she succeeded and she's getting her just desserts. She's going to be a single mother to two children and it's because she was so adamant on being with my ex so he was a cheater. He got a taste of infidelity and he couldn't stop and now she's suffering. I hate it for G's kids. They grew up with a mum who craves chaos and they won't get the life they deserve. I fear for a second baby will inherit whatever STI R gave G and I hope and pray R will take responsibility for his children because we wanted kids at some point and he's great with kids but oh man I dodged so many bullets. I feel bad that I'm happy but karma came for them and I'm not one to doubt the universe's way of balancing itself. I'll just keep going to therapy doing my thing and keeping my peace. As always I'd just be fine. And the two top comments on this one said you know the saying how you get him is how you'll lose him. She learned it the hard way. And Bright says sounds like he got what he deserved. I dated this guy who I thought was super loyal and would never cheat on me and he breaks up with me out of nowhere eight months after we met when everything was seemingly fine between us. A year later he reaches out to me and tells me what happened in the time we were apart. He'd met this other woman at a yoga class two months after we started dating, commits to her three months later because she lied about being on birth control and was pregnant. She loses the first baby and he gets her pregnant again even though he never wanted kids. The second baby also doesn't make it and she goes crazy on him, refuses to get back on bipolar meds, kicks him out of the house they were living in, starts calling his boss and saying he's a dangerous criminal, threatens to kill him and his family, ends up having to file a restraining order against her and told me he deeply regretted ending our relationship prematurely since we had no problems. Karma always gets people that cheat eventually. I absolutely agree with OP on this one, just desserts indeed but can't help but feel for the kids at the end of all this chaos that's going on around them coming into this. It's just heartbreaking in that way but what do you guys make of this situation? Let us know your thoughts down in the comments below. Now just a huge thank you for being here today, getting involved in the stories, your love, your support, your time, it always means the absolute world to me so thank you so so much for being here and hopefully I'll see you in the next one. Take care and much love. Hey it's Angela and Vicky from the podcast Get A Grip and we are currently brought to you by Cancer Research UK. One constant battle that we all face is the piles of clutter around the place that we don't actually need. Well this is why donating your things to Cancer Research UK is the way to go. Nearly one in two people will get cancer in their lifetime and all of us can support the research that will beat it. Our purchases and donations help raise vital funds for life-saving cancer research. Donate your good quality pre-loved or brand new items to your local Cancer Research UK shop. For more information visit cruk.org forward slash pre-loved. Hello it's Ed Gamble here from the Off Menu Podcast. James Acaster also from the Off Menu Podcast here. And our podcast, the Off Menu Podcast is currently being sponsored by PayPal James. PayPal Plus! No less, it's a new rewards program where you can earn points, redeem points and it's free. That's right you can turn pounds into points on pretty much everything you buy with PayPal. Then you can redeem those points at millions of places online with PayPal. No fees, no caps or limits. Sign up for PayPal Plus for free in the app. Pay Smarter PayPal. Rewards are earned as points through PayPal Plus. You must be enrolled to earn rewards. Eligible purchases only. Tease and seize apply. Grace Dent here from the podcast Comfort Eating. Currently being supported by Eminem's Cookie Doe Flavour. A masterpiece of texture. You've got that classic satisfying crunchy Eminem's chocolate shell. The one that gives away with a proper snap. And then inside you hit a gorgeous creamy cookie dough flavored centre. The best part? Well it's all the joy of cookie dough flavour with absolutely no baking required. So if you're looking for a new favourite treat for your next sofa session, give Eminem's Cookie Doe Flavour a try. Available in stores now.