Bonus #160 - Kushmas Brothers Vol. 1 [PATREON PREVIEW]

Right now, a guide dog puppy is taking her very first steps. One day, she'll help someone with sight loss live a full and independent life. Find the crossing best. Good girl. When you sponsor a puppy with guide dogs, you're there for it all. Her wobbly walks, her first harness, the life-changing partnership. It's more than a donation. It's the start of a life-changing story. Search, sponsor a guide dog puppy, and be part of a story you'll be proud to share. Guide dogs. Advantage chewable. No, I remembered one of my favorite Christmas traditions, Jewish. We obviously did the Chinese food movie. What? Bringing the stand in. Bringing the stand in. No, I know. I'm so envious of the traditional Jewish Christmas. So I did some. My family did Jewish outreach for much of my life, because the big focal point was Christmas Eve. But Christmas Day, we started going to a movie in a Hibachi restaurant every Christmas day. Wow. And it turned out to be awesome. But finish your tradition. I'd love to get back in. There's neighborhoods around us that went hardcore. So we would get in our car, and we would drive around and look at all the Christmas lights. Yeah, but we were in Lincolnwood, I feel, is where all the lights were. And these giant houses and the whole little cul-de-sac was committed. Some home alone vibes. More like animal tronc, multiple floor things in a window. It's pretend going through the roof, really creative. That's awesome. We would drive around and look at the lights. That's cool. I just remembered that, and I really enjoyed it. How old were you when you came to America? I was really young, three. Oh, three. OK, so you don't have Christmas memories as a baby. All your memories kind of happen. Three, I feel like, is the cut off for where your memories are. My first memory, though, is before I was three. I will be honest. It's the only memory I have young, but I fell into a fountain with a bunch of fish when I was two or something. And I remember being in the fountain. I do. That's awesome. I remember being in there. You remember a baby. I think it was traumatic enough. Like, I think it was just like, I don't know. Or people said it enough that it's in my brain, but I really feel like I remember it. That's fucking cool. A fountain with fish. A baby memory is fucking sick. Yeah. I have, I think I was four, my favorite, three and a half. I remember looking at my little brothers on a chair. I remember a specific chair and the light is hitting their heads in a specific way. I have that memory in my head still. But we do New Year's gifts in my family. Oh, that's a New Year's tree. That's like the Russian Soviet vibe of us. I mean, yeah, that is that is Papa Frost. Greek people do that too. Yeah. But we just got so Americanized that we were just like, well, it's awesome because we get all the ornaments and all the fun on sale and we get all our gifts on sale. And then we kind of have a great time on New Year's. And then my sister would go out with her friends all night afterwards. On New Year's? Yeah, like we would do, we celebrate the old year. We do like an 11 o'clock dinner of the old year. And then at midnight, you know, we party a little bit. And then I was a kid. So I'm always like, gifts. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. We would open gifts. My parents tried that, but we just, when you're a little kid and everyone, it's like, I don't know. Everyone was talking about their Christmas gifts. There was a year where my parents tried New Year's. But we also have Hanukkah. Right. You, it's as like for Jewish. Love Christmas. For a Jewish family, it makes sense because it's like, you don't care. It's not really your gift giving holiday anyway, but like it's not your identity anyway. And for us, it was like Christmas is the biggest deal. And then why don't you do it? We did do it. Our parents tried to do it on New Year's because Greek people do it on New Year's. But we were like, all our friends at school were talking about their Christmas gifts. And we're like, what the fuck? I'm all my gifts and literally last like one year. And we were like, we're not doing this bullshit. Give us our shit on fucking Christmas. But we didn't really have any honestly. We didn't really have traditions. Like my favorite Christmases were like the years we got a gaming system. And I was like playing PlayStation. 1998 and 64. Yeah. And 64 was a big and things were huge. Massive. And then there was a Christmas. Maybe the biggest Christmas ever. Well, remember the Christmas, the console wars on Christmas? There was one Christmas that GameCube and Xbox came out the same Christmas. Right. But it wasn't Dreamcast also in the mix. I got a dream. One was the obvious winner. Was. Yes. But I was a GameCube guy. Like my family was Nintendo. And so we held out. I only got an NES. I had a Nintendo entertainment system. Respect. You're just playing duck on. Thank you for saying the NES. No one has ever like said the whole title. I had this. I had the Super Nintendo entertainment system. I have the extreme box. I have the extreme box.哎哎哎哎哎哎哎哎哎哎哎哎哎哎哎哎哎哎哎哎 That is what the hype the energy of just like the pure capitalism in your veins when a new video game system was coming out And it was Christmas time Nintendo 64. I mean I was over there. Yeah, I was over there Oh, fuck that the Nintendo 64 Christmas was awesome a game keep Christmas great, too I was I think I was a freshman in high school or some shit and Literally, I don't think I've ever felt closer to my brothers Like we just fucking were playing Madden. We were playing the FIFA together. We were doing co-op star Fox games Yeah, that was fun come play backyard baseball with me George We literally were growing out. That's like one of my most that's one of my most beautiful Christmas memories me and my me and my little brothers room They had the slight they had a bigger room because there was two of them sharing it and that's where the TV like we had a TV there We just went when our parents for Christmas would be like, alright You can take the thing into your room instead of playing on the main TV and we stayed up Like till fucking 3 a.m. We wake we woke up at like 8 had like pie and like roast You know leftovers for breakfast and chocolates and shit immediately got to playing truly I think that might have been the happiest I've ever been in my life. Maybe I'm happy hearing This sounds beautiful it was fucking awesome and yeah, but we didn't really have a specific I Think that's why I took over the cooking because we didn't this is that what happens when you're like addicted to Food you're like, this isn't up to my liking I'm not able to rela I'm not it's like imagine if you went home and you had to like do your parents cocaine You're like, you don't know good drugs. That's kind of I felt about the cooking which is like You know, let me handle this shit So I've been making that rib roast in the sides for a while now, you know, what's cute So my close friends they have two daughters and they got the Nintendo switch with and we got to play Mario Carl together So now like we get to play with these kids and that's awesome So they're experiencing the new games. I can't wait to game with my nephew that rocks We did that with my girlfriends nephews and one of them's like six and I just kicked the shit out of this kid Mario Cart it was awesome What a beautiful experience. That's a sacred relationship is the guy dating your aunt Yeah, you're not really close. You're kind of just like the coolest young guy He has access to like that was the thing. It's like when we were growing up. It was like my mom's We didn't have any blood relatives here, but you know my Immigrant thing where it's like your mom's best friends are your aunts. Yeah, so it was like her dog the We would go over the one place for Christmas sometimes and her daughter the guy she started dating when she was in high school was like We didn't have access to like bros and so he was like that 16 and when you're like eight a 16 year old in a leather jacket, you're like Fucking coolest guy of all time. Can we fucking play? Yeah, can we play video games? Can we play catch? Oh my god, he went to Wilson's house of leather Dude he wears gel and is there I can't wait to be like I think he has a zip a lighter But you're you might be doing that for that kid. I would be honored I think you might seek to fill that. Oh, yeah, we went to the lake. I was like trying to get the kid on the water ski thing Yeah, toss them in the ocean. I was throwing them in the pool. Yeah Yeah, that's key. That's That's big. I just the thing with an attendant to 64 the thumb swirl never got I can't I just I just can't do it. It is a it is a badly designed control. Oh wait. Did you ever play doom? Yes Dude was fucking awesome Fuck what was it? What was some of his what were some of dooms or no fuck? Yeah, what was the guy? What were the guys sayings nothing of Duke Nukem? That's what I'm I'm here to kick ass and chew bubblegum. Yeah. Yeah, Duke Nukem was awesome. I've got balls of steel That's right balls balls balls of steel and then when you got the Duke Nukem soundboard That was good stuff But yes doom and Duke Nukem were very very related. Oh, you know what is it weird that I keep bringing it to Christmas? You're doing a you're doing a better job hosting than I am I'm like fuck dude I think we could put sliced cheese in mac and cheese. I would still be talking about that You guys had moved us forward. I'd be like come on guys. Don't you think as part of it? It could be good Anyway, I just love a theme But my mom became close with this Guatemalan family through work And so we got to go to their house for Christmas and I got a Christmas fucking Barbie doll and I was like No, it wasn't life-size, but she had this gorgeous red and gold dress. It was Christmas theme It was like the Christmas Barbie of the year. I mean it was just like that's because even though we did My parents are quite like we were kind of poor like we I loved all my gifts, but they weren't high-ticket items Right, I was like it was survival. What the fuck is this barb? I remember my parents got I got a tweety shaped pillow Yeah, that like that really rings Into my it pissed me off when I found out tweety was a boy Honestly, I think she's like gender Like I think she does whatever she wants. She's like RuPaul like RuPaul's like you can call me you can call me You can call me Richard so Kathy Lee Doesn't fucking matter it pissed me off as a little boy and I think I was just thinking about this I think it's because I Wanted to fuck tweety and I was like They made me gay Come on, we just cute put to one a fuck when you're a little kid Tweety's got eyelashes you have a crush I don't mean I want to fuck the bird like physically. I mean when you're like five You're like I have a crush on every girl cartoon and then when they're like actually tweety's a boy. I'm like what? I don't know but I think that's why it made me Cats that were made to look like skunks the puppy. Lapey was harassing. We're pretty sexy. She was hot the cat I actually have been doing a bit lately because I have a joke about it So then I've been asking audiences because it's fun What cartoon character they'd like to fuck Because I played the Nice penis JP Really don't have a connection with him Whatever answers that you get when you ask Well, but what started this was the mic drop club and whatever state I was in I can't fucking remember But it's Robin Hood themed and that Fox is like very I heard that a lot from a lot of girls showing a lot of legs They wanted to fuck Robin Hood. Oh the Fox in Robin Hood. He is really hot I like all the kids, but it's beautiful animation and so I love Robin Hood That's what started it all but people like Jessica rabbits a constant And I mean Sure, but dude as a little kid That legit might be the I might be the first time I was overtly horny Like I was over like I want to like she's very hot Jasmine but I was just oh true fell deeply in love. I love I love Jasmine. You're right. Yeah, absolutely Jasmine's gorgeous, but my best friend Julia like I started going home to her family and they fucking do Christmas American Christmas and I just like love the pajamas. I love the snacking I love the movies and I love gifts giving get it a guy like love it. I love all the little I just enjoy the lounging And the gifts and the stuff it's cute. I like love it. I love the lounge. Yeah Bar none the best holiday Yeah, I think so not for me. What would you put over Christmas? Well, I'm just humiliated. I don't want to be this person But I won't I also love the fourth of July not for Barbecue versus Christmas, but you get to be a pool. No, I love Beaches things that nature I get it Because it's all basically the ultimate Summer hang and the most people hopefully have off True or it's like something because I like performing on Christmas But now that I do Christmas with Julian we have like a friend group that's been doing it for the past five six years I think that's in New York. So I just perform Christmas Eve But performing on holidays all night at the cellar. I really do love and everyone's getting kind of drunk It's a lot of Jews or weirdos Like people it's like I'd like to do that one day. Yeah, so I enjoy going Doing spots on the holidays. That is fun. I mean I found and when I waitress like since I was Jewish I would like take the shifts. Yeah, so or so any any type of job I would take everyone's Christmas I do like doing a weird thing on a holiday. I like like traveling on the actual holiday is fun One time I literally on a way I wasn't gonna go home the pilot wearing a Santa hat. You love it sick That's awesome. Yeah, they're gonna treat you better the stewardess or like pump They're like, you know, they'll have little actually there's probably like a cake or something like a Christmas dessert or like an extra Christmas little thing. Well, her she kiss. Yeah, they'll do something nice green rappers I drove on actual Thanksgiving. That was actually the most insane thing I ever did I went to LaGuardia and rented the last car. It was a minivan with a check engine light on I said it had both the check engine and the like change oil And it was literally the only car they had land No, I just lived in Queens. I drove to Baltimore day of Thanksgiving. It was in it was kind of crazy. Did you have to wait in line? I did. Yeah, I literally I was like good luck And like people were getting like she like box trucks when they wanted like I think you know this But I have the best cooked egg I've ever had in my life in Baltimore a few weeks ago. Where the blue moon The like egg I It's great, but I would never think of it as the place that I took a photo of the whole day. I'd never eat their sober Yeah, that was the place you go like because they were up They were like a meme restaurant a little bit. They had like the Captain Crunch French toast. Yeah Oh, there's cinnamon roll makes your dick. Okay, so this is the big thing. That's awesome. Sweet baby. Jesus. Look at that egg That's jamming a great egg. That's very very great egg. So that they'll just love that. So hold that to the camera Damn you get those big-ass biscuits I got a short stack of peanut butter and jelly French toast and I took it back to the hotel I Great We would always be jumping into the French toast because we were recovering because like Christmas Eve was the night that it really went off Oh, really? We would go to my great aunt and uncle's house in Queens and it was just like, you know that scene in the in Titanic where it's all the Irish people like dancing. Yeah No My uncle dick who was like a theatrical guy he like just would do like little performances and everyone would do performances It's theatrical. He was closeted. Yeah Oh, you're just like your uncle dick. He's a guy. Is he actually theatrical? You know, he played like the king and the king and I and probably some problematic production Tape his eyes back You want to commit or not I Knew a fun family Different state like a calm and they did a huge party Christmas Eve and tons of people came over like your parents are popular Like that's pretty fun And then they did family Christmas Day and I kind of like the idea of getting lit on the eve Yeah, right that's so it was like a proper fucking they're getting fucked up Yeah, people pound and butt heavies grandma's drinking whiskey and stuff. You know, yeah Where were you in Queens, you know breezy point, it's like on the Rockaways. Oh, yeah beach community out there The Irish Riviera. Did you guys do like a link? The Italians will do the seven fishes or whatever Do you have a Christmas Eve? Yeah, the seven types of whiskey eventually we started ordering Italian food catering because we didn't feel like Time to eat we're here to get Make sure the booze is here There's a lot of Bill Clinton jokes in my party piece this That sounds fucking awesome Limerick based game where like you're really you're really Pretty yeah, that's 100% you're this is making me incredibly happy that you're doing it this like like that's like a leaguer like Limerick's is nuts. Limerick's is crazy. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Anyway, keep going No, it's like one person writes the first line of a limerick you pass it down And then like you read them all was there was there one whimsical who's the first person your family to get sober? Oh God, so my grandpa with my same name my dad's dad he quit drinking and smoking on the same day And no one knows why he just cold turkeyed him both I Wonder what happened the night before yeah, I wanted to He did he stayed cold turkey is a mysterious guy He had a tattoo from World War two of a skull and crossbones on his forearm. No one you never talked about that He was that that style of individual. That's awesome But yeah, he was probably the first everyone else kind of stayed pro their entire career well to their 80s Oh, really? Yeah, are you the first but of your generation? You're not the first of my generation I think I am yeah, wow look at you. Yeah, that was 25. I was pretty young Everybody else is like Well, I guess JP's gay thought he was gay He never brought a girl to Christmas. It broke my heart He I thought if he was gay I could handle it and now he must have quit drinking because they like to have abs That's fucking beautiful Christmas went off crazy Every and then you're driving back late at night you look you're looking for Santa out the window You'll take every every plane that flies by you think it's Santa Oh, yeah, my dad one year because I was a fucking I was like I'm gonna sit I literally I took my comforter and I was like I'm sitting next to the tree I'm gonna catch Santa and my dad waited till I was asleep and had like sleigh bells and shit And he just had like he rang the sleigh bells and he slammed the door terrifying and he was like You fucking just miss Santa dumbass. He was just like what the fuck? I heard the sleigh bells god damn it I was fucking pissed. Are you fucking kidding me? Right now a guide dog puppy is taking her very first steps One day she'll help someone with sight loss live a full and independent life find the crossing best Good girl when you sponsor a puppy with guide dogs, you're there for it all her wobbly walks her first harness The life-changing partnership. It's more than a donation. It's the start of a life-changing story Search sponsor a guide dog puppy and be part of a story. You'll be proud to share Guide dogs crisp vibrant and bursting with citrus Villamarilla's New Zealand's Sylvignon Blanc is the perfect wine made to be enjoyed on every occasion Whether you're soaking up the sun in your garden hosting a backyard barbecue or unwinding after a long day The zesty lime and lush tropical fruits are always delicious Try Villamarilla's Sylvignon Blanc a vibrant New Zealand wine that's perfect for every occasion available at all good wine retailers