We all need advice, but it's not always clear who to ask, even in 2026. Sometimes even I don't know where to go for advice, which is why I recommend checking out How To, the long-standing advice show, and 2026 Ambi Award-nominated Best Personal Growth podcast. It's hosted by my friend and award-winning journalist Mike Peska. You might be familiar with Mike's work on the just the longest running daily news podcast. Each week on How To, Mike tackles a listener question, including one of mine, ranging from mental health and finance to relationships and beyond. And he gets help from world-class experts who actually know what they're talking about. Think of it as eavesdropping on someone else's therapy session without the copay or the awkward silence or the stairs. No question is too big or too specific. I was happy again to appear in a recent episode of How To, focused on the topic of how to emigrate as a threpple. How To is a great companion to our show and you will learn something new listening to How To. I always learn something new every time I listen to Mike. So follow How To with Mike Peska on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts, and let him know the Lovecasts send you. This episode is brought to you by VB Health, Doctor Formulated Supplements that work. To learn more about load boost, the performance-enhancing supplement, and to get 10% off, visit loadboost.com and use the code SAVAGE. Welcome to After Action Report, where you tell me about something new that you tried recently in the sex space, as the kids say. This week, I spoke with Christine, who went with her husband to a very special party. I don't want to spoil it, so we're just going to jump right in. So joining me for this After Action Report, Christine, Christine, welcome to the show. Hi, thank you for having me. It's so wonderful to have you. So what is it that you just tried? What was the new and exciting experience you wanted to tell us all about? So what we tried was fire play. All right, first, who's we and who are you? Give us a little biographical detail about you. I am a cisgender recently discovered bi-woman living in New Zealand, married to a man for the last 14 years who I love, and we're in the beginnings of an E&M. Exploring ethical non-monogamy together? Yes, together, and it's so exciting. And so what did you do? What did you try? What was the new thing? So we were away for work, and we looked on FetLife, and we looked to see if there was anything party going on, events, and there was a Viking kink event. A way to what? A Viking kink event. So we got all dressed up in Viking attire. A Viking themed kink event? Was there a funeral pyre? Did somebody get pushed off on a boat? No, but lots of draped fabrics and impact spaces. And helmets with horns? Yes, there were some of that. And big muscly bearded guys? Oh, it was terrible. Did you raid the Irish coastline and carry off people to be enslaved in Scandinavia? Like how far did they take the role play at the Viking themed kink party? Look, I was really impressed because everyone got dressed up, which was so cool. Sometimes you go to a party and you kind of get like half the people commit to the costume theme. This was everybody was in. So it was like a kind of a combo costume party kink party? Yes. In that it had a theme and everybody was like trying to be turned out as Vikings for a, but it was for a sex party and a kink party. 100%. Yes. Wow, I've been to some kink parties, but I've never been to a Viking costume themed kink party. Yeah, and you'll find like, you would know this, but every community is different. So like this particular community that we went to, it's a no sex kink party. So it's about the actual kink. You're welcome to go home, go elsewhere, have sex, but it's about the actual kink. With the actual kinks being impact play, bondage, what? In impact play, a shabari, lots of suspension shabari. There was a little bit of needle play, which I was like, no, thank you. And then there was this beautiful woman and I was just smitten and she was wielding fire on people's bodies and I was like, yes, please. Okay, so wait, I was joking about the Viking funeral pyre or the Viking ship. Somebody being put on it and pushed out to sea inside on fire. So you were at a Viking themed kink party with no sex. And I think that I don't think there's enough kink parties where like they just take sex off the menu and it's about the play and the eroticism of the play. I think that's a really good idea. They think something that might keep a lot of people from a kink party is anxiety about f**king, about whether they want to get f**ked or do anything explicitly sexual. So just having a kink themed kink party that's about the kink and not about sex. I think that opens up a kind of like training wheels play party for a lot of people who might otherwise not dip a toe in. So I'm very pro that. But setting people on fire? Tell me about this kink. So we were watching it for ages and then she locked eyes with me and she was like, do you want to go? And I was like, I couldn't get my clothes off fast enough. Another thing I've never done. Locked eyes with a stranger across a crowded room who wanted to set me on fire. 100% live once, right? So I dropped all my gear, stayed my undies, lied down, face down onto a massage table. And then she grabbed the little wand that had Kevlar on the end of it. And she lit it on fire. And then she waved the wand like kind of over my body to let my body kind of adjust to the heat and the feeling of it. And then she checked in with me constantly, which hey is kink rules number one, right? And then she, yeah, and then she put it on my body and she ran it across my back and then took her hand just behind it and wiped out the flame. So did she use an accelerant? Did she like trace alcohol on your body and then like run the burning thing over it and like set you on fire? The little wand is soaked in 80% isopropyl and 20% water. So it leaves a trace of fire on you as it moves across your body? Exactly. Just wipe it up with your hand. So briefly your skin would be on fire and then her hand would come along and put you out. Zero pain. And the best description was like the warmest massage I've ever had. And like, did it function for you on an erotic level or was it just a sensory experience? It was more sensory. It wasn't like you were getting wet or close to orgasm, but like you were in a kind of a a heightened space, a heightened sensory awareness. As I assume everybody would like be slightly, their senses would be heightened and hyper aware if somebody was setting them on fire, but it wasn't necessarily erotic. No, and there's definitely a smudging of vulnerability because you're also expect, you're leaving a stranger, put fire on your body. But you weren't tied up. No. So you were free to run screaming if it didn't work. Absolutely. And what she did with us is obviously a beginner, but she's talked to us a little bit about it and told us you can get into all sorts of like bondage and shabari and combine it with fire play. And so there's advanced levels that obviously some people can get into. Okay. So what did your partner think watching this hot woman at the King party set you on fire? Oh, he loved it and he didn't get to have it go at first, but later on, and he did get to have it to try. And he's not a particularly hairy dude, but she did look at me and she goes, how attached are you to these nipple hairs? And I was like, burn them off. I mean, wasn't he the one that she should ask since he was literally attached to those nipple hairs or they were attached to him? Wasn't his consent important there? Probably. It was there. It was there. Okay. So that's fascinating and that's exciting and it sounds like an amazing experience, but let's zoom out for a second. You say that you and your husband have been married for 14 years. You've recently discovered your by and it feels like you're kind of acting on the advice, whether I inspired you or not, that I give couples and long-term relationships who want to like get that feeling of excitement back that's sort of built in an effortless at the beginning of a relationship when you're the adventure each other is on, which is to go on an adventure together. And that's what you two are out there doing. 100%. We've always been an amazing team and it's been even better getting into this kink world because communication is just out of this world now. I'm so pleased for you. So pleased for you both. Are you experiencing that thing that, you know, people talk about scheduled sex, that perk of scheduled sex, which is if you're, you know, a couple who's going to a swingers event or hotel takeover, you're going to a big kink event like Folsom or Easter in Europe in Berlin, if you're gay, like it's not just the sex you have at the event that you're looking forward to and you are excited about. You start like fucking in advance of that. You're turned on by the thought of what's coming and you like, it reignites before you even get to the event. You find yourself having unscheduled sex in anticipation of the scheduled sex that you're going to have. Is that been true for you guys? 100%. Yeah. And we never struggled in that world, but my goodness, it's even crazier now. I usually ask people if it was a good experience or a bad experience. I think we already know this was a good experience for you guys. It was 100%. A bad experience for your husband's nipple hairs. I don't think they survived the party. They're growing back. They're fun. They are a renewable resource. And I think I know the answer to this question too. Would you do it again? 100%. But having said that, it is also a higher risk activity. And so like, please nobody go out and get a piece of Kevlar and light it on fire. Please do it with someone who's trained and has been doing it for years. Yes. Absolutely. I talk about junior varsity and varsity kinks. This is like Olympic level, not just varsity. You don't want to do this on your own with somebody who's just giving it a go. There's some kinks. You need a mentor who's giving you hands on training and experience. And yeah, like people, complete novices can experiment with fuzzy pink handcuffs. Complete novices can't experiment with setting other people on fire at the Viking themed king party. So is there anything you would do differently about that night? Was it just a perfect night? I don't think so. I think it was just amazing. It was mesmerizing to watch the fire. It was amazing to experience the fire. And we had a great night and we had so much fun and went back to the hotel and had amazing sex. So what more could you ask for? You know, I've never tried it, but like maybe I'd be a bad candidate because I have more than a few nipple hairs. I might set the whole place on fire if somebody did that to me right now. Have you ever been to a party that you wanted to leave but your husband didn't? Or vice versa? No, because we're pretty, we're ride or die together. If one of us is uncomfortable, we're out. That is also great advice for couples curious about going to king parties. And if your partner wants to leave and you really want to stay, leave, leave with your partner. And your partner is much likelier to feel comfortable going back to you, going back to an event with you later if they know that you're not going to be angry or retaliate or ditch them if they want to leave or they need to leave. Like you come together, you leave together. He's my most important relationship because he's the one I married. And he's the one that's going to be there for me through everything and anything. So that's the most important bit. Every fire, he will be there. Whenever somebody sets you on fire, he's right there. I sure will. Christine, thank you so much for coming on After Action Report. What an amazing experience. Thank you for having me. Thank you, Christine. You brave, open-minded kinkster you. If you, yes you, listening tried something new and you want to tell the world about it, write up your story and send it to Q at savage.love. And you might be my next guest on After Action Report. And look for a new After Action Report in your feeds on Friday. 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