#402: Imagining a Dune Buggy w/ Janet Varney

This is a headgum podcast. That's like the best warm up in improv. That's the best warm up in improv. Yeah, let's do it. But instead of doing numbers, let's just do random words association based on what the person right before you said and see if we could come up and make a theme. Okay, so Adley, you're still counting us in with numbers. Okay. But then as soon as you're done counting us in, it's all words. Okay. So, six, seven, eight, one, two. No, no, no. I thought you were doing words. You guys are supposed to do words. Oh, she did T-O-O. Yeah. It's the word. It's the word. That's exactly what I did. And I said one. What's the connection we'd want? Mine was T-O. I was picturing. What's the connection? Two, one, foo. Thanks. Four. Zip. Everything. Two, one, foo. Thanks. Four. Zip. Two, one, foo. Two, one, four, three for everything. Ow, that went great. Oh, well, I feel pretty adequately warmed up. Should we use that as the cold open for the episode? God, no. Thank you very much. I have a sneeze stuck in my face. It's so stuck. Now that I said it, now maybe it's gone. Do I have pliers? Do I have pliers? Yeah. I have pliers and a vacuum and I'll be back in 40 minutes. Just start tinkering. Aaron, oh, and welcome to Hey, We're the Vittle, the podcast. This is, I'm JPC. I'm Aaron. That's Janet, our fourth host, and that's Adel, our first host. Hi. Waving. Not saying anything, but waving. I think we got to cut the numbering thing out of it completely. Well. That's Janet, a host. That's Adel, a host. Well, I feel more comfortable. Did you guys ever watch Dance Moms? Her does? Never watched. Is that where Honey Boo Boo is from? No, but Adel, your associations are right on the money. She's from Toddlers and Tiaras. It's basically the same thing. Is there a rapper from Dance Moms? Is there a rapper? No. No. Oh, JoJo Siwa is from Dance Moms. I feel like I'm talking to my parents. You guys are just, have some associations from this world. Now, Erin, I will say, I have no context for who JoJo Siwa is, but anytime a video of her dancing in front of paparazzi comes up in my feed, I will make time to watch it. Yeah. Because it is unbelievable. Anytime that crosses your desk, you're like, well, this is about to be insane. A thing happened on Dance Moms. Well, the concept of Dance Moms is it's this dance studio in Philadelphia or whatever. There's this woman named Abby Lee Miller, who is a lunatic who ran this dance studio. Then it was all the Dance Moms and their kids who went to this dance studio because they wanted their kids to be like stars. That dance mom is like a stage, stage, stage. Yeah, like a crazy stage mom. It felt like Real Housewives, but meets like a show where kids are dancing and the kids are the chess piece ponds that they're playing. It's awful. The kids that are dancing, are they in competition? Yes. And that's big competition to do. Is it like solo dance? Solo dance, group dance, duo dances. Sometimes the girls won't get a solo because the dance teachers met their mom. So they'll cut the solo because the mom got met. But is it all self-contained? Like, are they competing outside with the real world or is everything just happening in the horrible world? And they have to use songs that the show can afford. And they're doing way more competitions than they ordinarily would. So these girls are getting like six hours to learn these dances being thrown in the most defensive costumes you've ever seen doing these dance competitions. These are like pageants, right? Like, they're like, I don't know if you've ever been. They're skill based though. Yeah. Yeah. Like these little girls are incredible dancers. And I think some of them are still professional dancers. Like they are very, very talented. Oh, the girl from like the Sia music videos. Do you remember? Chandler. Yeah. She, she's one of the moms from, or she's one of the moms. She's one of the girls from DanceMoms. That's what the mom was. You just gave that mom the wish of her dreams. That Sia video, Adel, to blow your mind, 40 years ago. So she's out. She's in grandma now. So a big part of the show, DanceMoms, that I think stayed in the zeitgeist is they would do a pyramid every week where Abby Lee Miller would rank how she felt about the girls. And it was a tiered system. No. And then she, and then she, it wasn't a literal pyramid because there's a scenario in which dance kids are also, yes. No, this pyramid is, it's a mirror. It's the dance studio mirror. And she's put all of their head shots up. I hate this so much. With a piece of paper over all of them. And then she'd be like, at the bottom of the pyramid, Chloe. Chloe, your mom was acting like a real bitch this week. And you're, you slipped during your cartwheel. I know you can do better. And that's why you're at the bottom. Next up, Nia. Nia, you got cut from the group dance. And so all these, like these seven year old girls have to metabolize being ranked with cameras in front of their moms. And obviously they can't regulate their emotions in this. And it's a fucking nightmare mess. Do the moms ever fire back of like? They, they have, you know, those like, watch. You know, those watch room battle and like where people can watch surgeries. Yeah. Oh yeah. They have one of those, but for the dance moms. So the moms stay for the whole rehearsals. And if they get so fired up, they storm down the stairs and they go in and Abby's like, get the hell out of my studio. It's like in the nick. Yes. And then she's like, you can't talk to Paige like that. You can't talk to my daughter like that. Well, we'll leave. And she's like, great, leave. But what am I talking about? I get really passionate about that. Is this show on the air anymore? Erin, is it gone? No, it would never fly today. Okay. It's in the Hague. Yes. There's, and then also there's this woman who's even crazier than Abby Lee. She's from Candy Apple Dance Studios. And her daughter hates to dance. And it's this Shakespeare thing where this woman is a lunatic and she makes her poor daughter dance. Her daughter hates to dance. I would not watch the show, but watch you describe each episode to me in person. Would love. I will start a YouTube channel. That is me. You can see me openly smoking weed. And drinking a milkshake going like, here's the deal. But one of my favorite reality TV clips of all time is from dance moms that I will send to you guys right now. And it is, uh, Abby Lee, the crazy dance teacher is on her cell phone during one of the girls solos. And a mom comes up and whispers in her ear, like, you're such a hypocrite being on your phone. You always tell us not to. And it startles Abby so much that she like gasps and she's in a wheelchair at the time and she reverses out of the wheelchair out of the building and then starts like, like speeding away. She starts speeding away from the cameras on her wheelchair. They're chasing her down the street. Are you sure you didn't get high and start watching Benny Hill? I think I might be watching Benny Hill. I think I got high and watch Benny Hill. And they're chasing her and she goes to the police station. And she says, she, uh, this is a clip. Yeah. It's a clip of her going like, and Casey, you can put that here. No, I don't think we can. I don't think we can legally. Well, Casey, we'll put it just, you'll watch the clip, Casey, and then you can describe it. So here's Casey describing. No, I just did. I, this is Ted's poor. Yeah. Hey folks, it's your editor, Casey here. I watched the clip and it's pretty much exactly as Aaron described it. So there you go. It is so funny that she immediately, like anytime, anytime I get lately startled, I want to zoom to the police station. And she's someone. She's, okay, she's in a wheelchair at the time. Now, now painting a picture. Great qualifier. Aaron, you seem to be absolutely, um, smitten with reality dance shows. Did you, were you a, were you a dance youth? I was a dance. I danced at a studio called Hazel Boone in Massachusetts. Yeah. What were the songs that you. Was the person's name Hazel Boone? Uh, the original, the woman who made the studio's name was Hazel Boone. And then it was passed from daughter to daughter. And, um, they, she was like a rock cat. So it was like a really tapped dance forward dance studio, which is why. I love Hazel Boone. Don't. Yes. Exactly. Backflip off the peel. Yeah. Tap dancing, slips of the tattoos. Unfortunately, they couldn't use that song in the show. So then use row, row, row your boat instead. Row. I will again be tap dancing to happy birthday. But I love to say you think you can dance growing up. I still will go on YouTube and watch some of my favorite dances from that from time to time. That Janet or dance tap notch. Maybe I'll make a little list of them for the newsletter. Anyway, Janet, thank you so much for being here today. I'm sorry I spent all of our time with you describing dance moms. Oh, you startled me so much by putting the attention on me that I'm backing away my wheelchair. No, Ted, please. The camera's going to keep up with you. Why are you out of breath? I'm in a wheelchair. Janet, um, we have a decision to make. We've come to a point in the show where we have a decision to make. Okay. Now that decision is not whether or not we start doing riddles. That's out of our hands. We're going to do that. That's going to happen. Are we going to put the riddles in a pyramid at the end and reveal which riddle disappointed us most, I hope? I want to bring up a topic. Janet, I got good news. We're not going to start doing riddles right now. We might do it a little bit later. Adel, let's do it. Adel's topic segment. Let's see. Do I have any? And now here's Adel with the thing he wants to do. Thanks, Paul of Tompkins. That's awesome. Wild that he popped in just to give that one line. Now he's just hanging out on the zoom here. Paul, you can. Okay. Yeah, just hanging on. I want to bring up is wheelchair the laziest named item in the world? This is a fantastic question, Adel. Yeah. I mean, it's pretty literal, right? It is exactly what it is. Yeah. Yeah. It feels like, do you know how in foreign languages, the only reason I know this is, I remember in Spanish class in high school, we were like, computer, what's computer in Spanish? And they're like, computer. Everybody got computer at the same time, so we all just agreed on the word computer. Yeah. It feels like one of those translations where it's just like, yeah, wheelchair. It's that. It's just that. Yeah. I was just trying to think because I'm doing my Duolingo in French, and I was just, I remember that wheelchair came up fairly recently, and I think it's like Fattai Roulon, which is really just, yeah, like a rolling chair. Yeah. There are, I can, I keep thinking of examples where I think they just did a really bad job naming the thing. Like butterfly is not lazily named. It's just wrong on all accounts. Yeah. What's going on with that? Why is it called a butterfly? I want to come. Probably, it's always Charles Butter. You like look it up and you're like, okay, Charles Butter. Does it spreads its wings? It's all the first one. Interesting. Raincoat's pretty lazy. Sun glasses are pretty lazy. Well, what would you like sunglasses to be called if not sunglasses? Log flume. Log flume. Oh, yes. It makes sense. Butterfly. That's what I'm going to say. That's what I would have named butterfly. Okay. Oh, please. No, is your segment done? My segment's done. Okay. And that was Adel with something that he said. Small of pumpkins. The other one that I always forget that I have is I always, I have the... Wish I was in this. So I could, I can't really use it with Janet's here, but I forget that I could use that in other contexts. So maybe one day it'll, it'll make an appearance. Okay. Janet, back to your very important choice. Would you like for us to do on the show today some listener submitted riddles or that are just, I mean, seamless. They're just listener submitted riddles. Or would you rather do the continuation of some animal pun raid riddles that are based on crafting animal puns? Or... I'm suspecting you might be. Bonus third choice. Oh, we spend the rest of this episode with me describing various episodes of Dance Moms. Yeah. I mean, that's, that's always our third choice. That's always available. That's like the... It's always available. It's just sitting out there. Sitting out there. It's like the sweater, but it's just me trying to remember all the names of the moms on Dance Moms. We do an impromptu review crew where Aaron is the only one who has watched Dance Moms and it was probably 12 years ago. I mean, it sounds like we get every sleepover. Clearly very into it. I'm starting to suspect you might be old man puzzles. Okay. Hard to put my finger on what's giving me that impression. The deduction wheels are already 30 for Jannis. So she's got a head start of the rental answering department here. Yeah. Oh, what do you think she's going to pick? Should we make a bet? Is it, is it, does it have to be one or the other? We can't like do the first half is and then the second half is the other one. Aaron, if I know... Or is that burning through two episodes? Let me think. She loves a good pun. I don't know, bitch. I did not say that. Aaron! Come on, I heard you. I for sure know you didn't say that. Okay, let's see. At this time. Aaron! Keith! No, you know what? We can absolutely piggyback and forth. I think that that's a great call. Why don't we start with some animal pun riddles? Piggyback and forth sounds like a pun. Piggyback and forth. Also, how piggyback do we see... Is that a pig sex thing? I'm just realizing right now, since we're talking about why things are named what they are, when you say I'm going to piggy, like you're giving someone a piggyback ride, when have we ever seen a pig riding on another pig, unless it's sensual? I think a piggyback is a shot of Jamison and a shot of Bacon. I believe. That's where the original term came from. That's where Piggyback came from, and then we dropped the... What's another... What's a Nickelback song that I could do a pickle joke with? And it doesn't matter. And it doesn't matter. Look at this photograph. That's a Nickelback, right? Yeah, I always get them in confused. So you guys might remember these animal pun riddles, they were submitted by Ted with 2Ds. And the way that they go, and this is an example that we have used before, but it's... I would say like, this mammal thinks that getting its fur trimmed will stop people from thinking it's a rabbit, and that is a hair cut. Hair cut. So it's going to get you to a word, and that word is going to have the animal's name in it, and the action that the sentence is describing. Okay? JPC, I'm so sorry to interrupt you right before you're about to launch off into a riddle space. Say launch off. I don't know. I heard the countdown and that you're about to launch into a riddle. Piggyback originated in the 16th century from the phrase, pick pack or pick a pack, which means meant carrying something on your back and shoulders. By the 19th century, it's one of those things that people shortened so much that it became colloquially known as a piggyback. Like an open sesame situation. Yes. Interesting. Yeah, so it really is just a totally different, just completely different words. It's because of all the mumblers. All the mumblers before me, I'm from a great line of mumblers, so we have ruined the English language. Is there a fairy tale where someone, or like a myth or something like that, where someone like carries a pig on their back to market or something like that? Isn't that some... I have a very clear mental image of that from like a children's fairy tale book. Fairy tale book. I think about this little piggy went to market. Are you thinking about your toes? Are you thinking about your toes? I think I looked at the Kamasutra and I saw someone with their toes behind their back and I thought, oh yeah, it's piggy's to market. Now, we are going to get to these riddles. But is there something in dancing with the dogs? Erin, it's like people paired with dogs and they have to learn to dance with the dog. I will watch it every week. You would watch. I will watch it every week. I mean, I dance with my dog a lot. I already dance with my own dog. We could be competing. Here's the thing. I know the ethics of some of this stuff is kind of out the window. But is it ethical to dance with your dog for a TV show? Because you have to do a lot of... You know what those like dog show like... I guess so, right? Where they do the obstacles. And those are fine. We've all agreed that those are fine, right? The enchanted pig is a Romanian fairy tale. And a prince takes a form of a pig. I doubt that's what you're thinking of, but maybe. Prince takes a form of a pig? Why does he do that? That's the most backhanded compliment I've ever heard someone that calls. What an enchanted pig. Thank you. He takes the form of a pig. Well, while Erin is... I'm on it. I want to be going. Well, Erin is looking that up here. We'll start with these animal pun raids from Ted. These mammals took full advantage of their position as the only primates on Madagascar. Lea-merred, Lee Birders. Took full advantage of their position. Leverage, Mer... Lea-mercourt advantage. No, Lee Merridge. Adel, you have it. You have it. Leverage, Lee Merridge. Leverage. Leverage. Leverage. That can't be right. That can't be right. That can't be right. Does it form a real word? So the word is leverage, which was Adel got, and lemur, and it forms the word lemurage. So it doesn't form a real word. It's a pun on... I don't know. It's not... Yeah. I would like to see a scene. Janet and Adel, you are two lemurs that have been brought to a zoo here in America, and you really were in Madagascar, and you were sort of the king of the castle, and it's your first day of school, and you're kind of meeting the other animals, and you realize that you might not have the lemurage that you had before. And, J.B., so you can play whatever animal you want. Got it. Oh. I don't know. This looks pretty weird. This doesn't seem like a fun little parade. I gotta tell you something. This is... Everybody's eyes here are a lot less wide and scared looking than ours. Yeah, great. And I'm afraid we're gonna be made fun of. I really hope that's not the case. Yeah, let's blend in. Let's blend in. Oh, here comes someone. Blend in, blend in. Hey, cheeseburger. Hey, my regular friend, I see. Corvettes. Chocolate. Are you talking... Radishes. Are you talking to me? That's a cola, buddy. You're a big guy. Hey, big guy. I was gonna eat the leaves out of this tree. You're in my tree. Oh, this tree? This tree here? I didn't realize this was a tree. I thought this was a bank. Huh? Like you guys go to. Are you two new? Huh? Yeah, this guy. You're a guy. Don't tell anybody this is our first day here in America. Oh, okay. Hey, okay. Well, hey, I was actually... I was born in captivity. Um, so I'm... I can kind of give you the lay of the land if you want. So you guys are... Monkeys? Lemurs, lemurs. Okay, cool. Party monkeys. Kind of a lie. Party monkeys. Yeah. Well, you're in a giraffe enclosure. So first of all, you're in the wrong place. Typically, what I suggest for new people is... Oh, these giraffes look sick. What is wrong with those giraffes? Yeah. Need Pepsi Cola. America. Don't... Hey. Hey, hey. Oh, they're mumbled. Hey, man. Don't get them throwing Pepsi Cola in here, okay? I just got down to my ideal giraffe weight. If you fuck this up... Seed. Oh my God. I saw a video the other day of a giraffe being born. Because they're so tall, right? Like that's the whole thing with giraffes. And it's like any animal... Wait, why did you see this? I was at the zoo and they had like a... A video of a giraffe being born in the giraffe enclosure. Here's what I missed. Previously on Zoo. But they were... The giraffe, when it gets born, it just falls. It just falls out of the other giraffe. Yeah, it plomps out. And within 30 seconds. And then it's like an adult giraffe that can run around and play cards and stuff. It's running like five minutes later, but it is so funny because it doesn't... It don't land well. They're fine. They were designed... And their gestational period is like a year and a half. It's pretty long, but it is so funny. Just watch something get born. It just falls out and splat, like hit the ground. And be like, well, it's my kid. All the angles. Why are humans so helpless when we're born? I guess because we can be. It's because of our big brains. Our big brains take like most of the development time. And most animals don't need brains as big as humans. They can develop like muscles and stuff like that where we spend all of our time developing brains. Huh, not me though. I don't know what I was doing. If human hips were wider, we could gestate longer. Like elephants gestate for like two years in drafts for a long time as well. But why aren't our hips wider? Hey, Erin, you're preaching to the goddamn choir here. Okay, all right. I'll take my answer off line. You know what I'm saying? No, I have no idea. Blame God. I don't know if I'm... I always do. Here's the next one. This reptile can hide its body by changing colors but not its love for sleepy herbal tea. Oh wait, a reptile? Camemilion. At all. At all. I am unfortunately getting way too deep into the science of this because I had to stop short and go, isn't it an amphibian? Could it maybe a chameleon? I guess chameleon's a reptile. I'm an idiot. You know what? You needed to cook your brain longer. I needed to cook my brain longer. If you give me most animals and say 50-50 between reptile and amphibian, I'm getting 50% of that test right every time, baby. Yeah. I'm in the same boat. I can't have any of this all in the ender. It's all in the ender for sure, amphibious. I think the best way to remember is, can it be in water? Welcome back to amphibian. Wait, Ted. Ted did it. Ted did it. I'm going to add a quick spontaneous one. This, and this is going to be really hard for you guys to guess, this member of politics is taking advantage of its ability to keep something from being discussed or passed while in a session. Salad, jerrymander? Yeah. Yeah. I mean, my understanding is you could just say salamandering, and that's just the squashing of two things together. Salamandering. And I've done, did I do it, Ted? Well, I would like to see a scene. GPC, we will have you be salamandering. We, we the people? Yeah, we the people. We're going to have, we're going to see you do that. And you're very passionate. And Adil, you are sort of the speaker, and you're trying to get him to knock it off, so we can continue with other animal business. And so. When you cut us, do we not bleed? When it gets cold, do we not fall out of trees? I'd like to reclaim my time. When our tail gets cut off, do we grow another tail? Can I get another minute back on the clock? I would like to reclaim my time. It sounds like he's asking what he is. Are our tongues not pretty quick? Do we not eat a bug? If we see a bug. Can someone stop that trumpeting? It's a trumpeter swan, they're allowed to do this. I would like to reclaim my time. See it. No, you're never getting that time back. Erin, I would like to see a scene. Oh, wow. Oh, fuck. Five to 10 seconds of you being Mr. Chameleon Bean. So it's Mr. Bean as a chameleon. It's going to be completely silent. Yeah. Ready? It's just for the three of you. Or Casey as well. See. It was just a scene. I feel like he throws in a lot of like. Yeah. I want to do one of his. That's Yoda. That's true. That's Yoda. That's Yoda. He does make Yoda sounds though. It is true. There is no Bean. Okay, Adal, I want that on my desk by Monday morning. I hope you didn't have plans this weekend. You can have it on your desk now. You can keep it. You can keep this original. I don't know how to use it. No, how do you take it? This is despite having a long, awkward horn, this small whale can still perform some sick surfing tricks. Gnarly whale. Gnarly whale. It's gnarly whale. It is. Forgot it's a gnarly whale. Who got there first? Was that you? Janet? I said it, but I said gnarly whale, so I'm disqualified. I would like to see a scene. That is a disqualification. Yes, I understand. Erin, you are gnarly wally. So you're like wally the robot, but you're like a surf. You've only watched like Point Break. You know how wally just watched like classic movies? You know. Well, this gnarly wally watched Point Break. I'm fucking dying, Adel. My brain's moving so slow today that I literally, from my computer, saw the scene concept coming at me, and it was like bloop. And Janet, you are, you're interacting with this robot you just found in the dump, which is Erin's robot. Wow, this thing has been pretty. What happens if I... Mr. Riend? What are you? Surf's up. What? Surf's up. Why do you sound so frail? Maybe if I just dust you off a little bit and lay a cough out some of those banana peels, some of those dump banana peels. Bring me to the water. I want to shred one more time. Oh, we are in Iowa, my friend. I don't know how you got all the way to this dump. Not Iowa, I'm saying we're in a dump. I'm not saying... Patrick's Waisy. Patrick's Waisy. Patrick's... Oh, we could watch Journey Dancing. I could take you back to my place and we could watch Journey Dancing. No! Okay, you seem real needy. I'm going to go ahead and just accidentally kick you over and put some more trash on you. Patrick's Waisy. One of them's a cop? What's quick break about? They're surfing cops. Yeah, yeah. I think Keanu Reeves is an undercover cop. What do you mean shrug? JBC show me. Accident. Oh, wait, I forgot. I'm here with JBC. JBC, you're like a Jeff Garland type, like in Wally. Nixon mask. And then someone, they shoot up a bank. Starting to feel like, oh, yes. I hear either Claire Voyant or this is Sherry Rives. And then they skydive. And then what happens? They shoot someone from the, oh, they shoot at the plane. We cut to three weeks later. Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome to AIMS Iowa Community Theater. Please. Place is a dump. Get out. Get out, sir. Please give a round of applause for. No, we're doing it in a dump, right? Yes, it is in the dump. Please give a round of applause for these robots who are putting on a production of Point Break. Stick them up. This is the bank robbery at the beginning of the movie, Point Break. I am not acrylic. What is this movie about? Johnny Utah, I don't know how to quit you. Johnny Five is a live on stage. See. Let's see. Aaron, have you seen Point Break? Yeah, like a million years ago. Let's see. Former Ohio State quarterback and rookie FBI agent, Johnny Utah. Yeah, the best name. That's the name you saw for the first time recently. I have never seen it. Ex-president, OICIC. Janet, what caused you to want to, or I shouldn't say want. What caused you to watch Point Break? What could help me? I feel like it was for something. Sure. Which is so true of so much in the comedy podcast space. I think I needed to watch it to have seen it to discuss it on something. JPC, I did remember this, right? It's like undercover cops infiltrating the surfboard community. Specifically Johnny Utah. Yeah, but that's what I guessed. And there's also skydiving, I want to say. Yes, they are skydiving because they're thrill junkies. Yeah, they're thrill junkies. One of those guys. The way who? Either very buisier knicknalties. Can we watch it for review crew? And Janet, you come back with pleasure. Thank you, Janet. Let's watch because they remade it as well and it's not as good. But let's watch Point Break and we won't tell each other which one we're watching and then we'll just try to compare notes. Love. Is it, there was someone in Point Break, is Joey Panson Point Break? That sounds right. Who's Joey Pants? Joey Pantaliano. Come on, Joe. I'm sorry, Joey Pantaliano. Pantaliano. I also, I know his name is Joey Pantaliano. Does he call himself Joey Pants? Because I've only ever heard of him as Joey Pants. I think he might. Yeah. I think he leaned into that. He might have started it. I could be misremembering this, but I thought that Joey Pants gave himself a bigger role in that movie than he should have had. You're right. He was supposed to, there was some movie he was in where he famously, this is a story I've heard many times and I can't remember all of it, but he was in a movie where he was supposed to die and in the scene he gets shot and he starts screaming and screaming and screaming instead of dying and they yell cut and he's still screaming and then the director's like, what are you doing? And he goes, just in case you want to bring me back. Yeah. Oh, that's great. Maybe I said a fugitive or something. Oh, you know what? I think it's the fugitive. I think it's, I don't think he said Point Break. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. So Melissa has two daughters. It's Maddie and Kenzie and they're both parents. And then Christy is blonde and her daughter is Chloe and then Holly, who's a elementary school principal. In case you just fade this one ever because this is how we go to break. This is how we go to break so just fade it. We had to have her do whatever you want. Kelly also has two girls, Broken Page and then I think it's Kathy who's from Candy Apples who's nuts. This podcast is sponsored by Squarespace. Ho-hum. Boo-hoo. What was me? What's going on? See what's wrong with that. Mr. Need Attention, I love it. Well, I do need attention and I'm not getting enough of it. So I thought I would kind of build myself a website so that people could give me the attention that I deserve, but I don't know how to build a website. Oh, Mama, tell me you're using Squarespace. The all-in-one website platform designed to help you stand out and succeed online? Oh yeah, that's Squarespace. Doesn't Squarespace give you everything you need to offer services and get paid all in one place from consultations to events and experiences showcasing your offerings with customizable website design to attract clients and grow your business? Can't you get paid on time with professional on-brain invoices and online payments? Plus streamline your workflow with built-in appointment scheduling and email marketing tools on Squarespace? Yes. JPC, big time. Also, Squarespace makes it easy to showcase your expertise and engage clients with video content on your website. Great way to get attention. Upload and organize your videos, create stunning video libraries, and even monetize your content by adding a paywall. Perfect for online courses, exclusive tutorials, and premium workshops. Okay, guys. I just made a new website. It's lookatjpc247.com where you can look at me every day, all day, online. Wow, that seems to be like a zoo camera for kangaroos. Thanks for kangaroos at JPC. Man, I'm beautiful long time. Look at my pouch. Look at my Joey. You have a pouch. You have a Joey. Well, if you want a pouch and a Joey, head to... Keep this. Leave it in. Leave it in case... Leave it in. Head to squarespace.com slash riddle for a free trial. And when you're ready to launch, use offer code RIDDLE to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. Squarespace does not endorse you having a pouch or a Joey. Wait, guys, are we kangaroos? I almost said ribbit and I wasn't even kidding. That's not what I mean. That is not what I mean. I'm going back to bed. Hey, Adel-Aaron, I am freaking out. Okay, so I just got an email from... Do you guys know Casey, the editor of the show or whatever? Oh, yeah. Sleepo? Yeah, Sleepo. Oh, my God. Thanks for you know. I got an email from him that says he hasn't been paid in seven years. And yeah, I'm kind of wondering. And I know that I'm in charge of all that, but between expenses and income and what's going on with the business, it's just too much for me. Let's make it easy. Let's just use found. Found eliminates the clutter by giving you one platform that handles it all, paying Sleepo, dealing with found Dracula, who's sort of a Dracula that uses found. Banking, bookkeeping, et cetera. No more paying for multiple subscriptions and dealing with clunky outdated apps. Found identified the tasks that create the most hassle for small businesses, things like categorizing expenses, preparing for taxes, managing invoices, budgeting, waking up Sleepo. And they built an app that does it all directly from your business checking account. Found is reimagining what business banking should be by putting your bookkeeping, invoicing, and tax tools directly into your business checking account. Plus, they have this vampire named found Dracula, and that guy, he knows what he's doing. No, guys, we don't have to keep talking about it. Found makes it easy to regain control of your business finances so you can get back to doing what you love. I personally, now that I'm using found, my life is so much easier. I don't have to juggle multiple apps. I don't have to go chasing receipts. I don't dread taxis anymore. I have a Dracula that will suck the blood, I want to say, out of an editor who is asking to be paid. You want to say? I want to say. So take back control of your business today. Open a found account for free at found.com. That's F O U N D.com. Found is a financial technology company, not a bank. Banking services are provided by Lead Bank Member FDIC. Join the hundreds of thousands who've already streamlined their finances with found. You're getting Sleepo. Okay, guys, I'm getting an email from the brand. They say they never authorized found Dracula. Oh, sorry. Yeah, I'm not official. I'm just a Dracula who uses found. I could swear that they wanted us to use you. Could have sworn that they were desperate for us to do this. I'm from Bank Transfer. I'm from Bank Transfervania. I'm from Milwaukee. Sorry, I'm just looking at myself in the mirror. You guys, I don't think I really like my clothes right now. I think I need a spring refresh. Oh, what kind of stuff are you looking for? Like stylish timeless pieces, maybe like a raincoat and like a cashmere, sweater that's like transitional from winter to spring. Oh, Erin, I would not wear a cashmere sweater over a raincoat. It's going to get absolutely ruined if there's rain. I'm putting it together. That's not what she meant. Okay, Erin, have you heard about quints? Quints makes high quality everyday essentials using premium materials like 100% European linen and their insanely soft, flonid active wear fabric. They have linen pants and shirts that are lightweight, breathable and comfortable. Basically the perfect layer for spring. The pants strike the right balance between laid back and refined. So you look put together without trying too hard. Erin, is that what you're going for? Yeah. Okay. Well, Erin, also you silly goose. The best part about quints is that their prices are 50 to 60% less than similar brands. How you're screaming at me? Erin, please stop screaming. How? Quints works directly with ethical factories and cuts out the middlemen. So you're paying for quality, not brand markup. Everything is designed to last and it makes getting dressed easy. I have a purse from Quints that I have people stop me when I'm walking around LA to ask me where I get it because it looks very expensive, but it's not. It's going to last me years and years. I also have a ring from there that I love. They've got home stuff that's timeless and awesome, incredible rugs, curtains. They've got baby stuff. They've got baby stuff. Awesome baby stuff that I purchased. That's very cute. So why don't you do yourself a favor and refresh your wardrobe with Quints. Go to quints.com slash riddle for free shipping and 365 day returns. Now available in Canada too. Go to qince.com slash riddle for free shipping and 365 day returns, quints.com slash riddle. Aaron, you're wearing your purse. You should actually, you're pulling it off. And I look incredible. Candy apples is just the most perfect name for a dance studio of a nuts person. Yeah. If I walked into a place called Candy Apples Dance Studio and it wasn't just like a man sitting on a folding chair being like, this is a front. Leave. This is, we're money laundering. I'd be like, oh, no, you're right. Yep, got it. That's so fucking funny. They front should do that. It's just a guy reading a newspaper going, oh, no, sorry, this is money laundering. All right, here we are. We're going to do more of these animal pun raids. We created a research facility to figure out why this is the most popular dog breed in America. Golden receiver. Lab, lab, labradoodle, lab, lab, labradoodle. You've got the dog, Janet. Lab, dog, dog lab. Yeah. We created a research facility. A laboratory, laboratory door. Labrador. Labrador. That's, yeah. Labrador. Labrador. I was working on a dog. No one's gotten the combo word yet, but it's everyone's circling it. It's labrador in laboratory. What do we, how do we think we can find the word? Labrador. This says, Alan, Alan, the generous is. Labrador, laboratory, laboratory, laboratory, laboratory, I'm going to go ahead and say, I would live in a laboratory. I'm going to go ahead and say boo. Boo. Can I use some of your shampoo? Here's your next one. It sounds like Stephen Wright is a ghost. This small rodent. I'm going to go ahead and say boo. This small rodent exhibited great honor and nobility when it pulled a thorn from a lion's paw. A mouse or size. It's a mouse or size. It's a mouse, but it, great honor and nobility when it pulled a thorn from a lion's paw. It did something out of the goodness of its own heart. You could say that it was. Mousetastic. Mouse. It's not mousetastic. Mouse is actually the end of this word. So if you get the, if you get the first part of the word, it's going to throw mouse at the end. Courage mouse. Don't laugh at that one. That one felt really good. After lemurage, I think, which I think was the lemur hemorrhage or something. I think anything is, to use the example of haircut and then to have these be these. I will say this one's actually pretty close. The end of the word that you're looking for does kind of sound like mouse. Femouse. Femouse. It's not Femouse, but you're on the right track with like that kind of end of the last, end of the word at all. Doing something out of the goodness of it. It's a big word. It's a flowery word. Dilatory mouse. It's kind of like, what's lava called when it's under the ground? Magma. Okay, so. Magnificent mouse. It's magnanimous. Oh, God. Magnanimous. That one hurts. That one, but again, that one, it kind of sounds like magnanimous. Like magnanimous is just magnanimous without the E. Magnanimous. That's maybe the best one so far. Okay. Well, hey, we still have like five more. Ted didn't knew what he was doing. Were they? Ted did knew that this was about creating scene opportunities and the riddle is a byproduct at best. Yeah, that's true. And I'm on board for that. Okay, here's your next one from Ted. This large wild cattle will happily give you the scoop on what's going on around town. I scream bison. I got into scoop. I'm so sorry. All the oxen prepress. That's awesome, Adel. That's awesome. That's awesome. That's awesome. That's awesome. Repress. Gossip. It's not gossip. I don't think we've had the animal yet. New, the new, new, news, just GNU. It's not new. New, news, news, news. News actually fucks. That works so well. That should rule so hard. You actually get a gold star for achievement and you can take the rest of the riddle off. Oh my God. Can you repeat the rule? Yeah, it's this large wild cattle. I'll stop there and help you get in place. Bison. It's not bison. I got to tell you from the sidelines, I am floating on a pool noodle drinking of Bartles and James right now. I love taking the rest of the riddle off. Buffalo down. It's Buffalo down, Adel. And the Buffalo down. It's Buffalo down. Adel, thank God you're here. The Buffalo down. Thank God. Jesus, please. Thank God you're here, Adel, to get Buffalo down for us. I want to do, I do want to see a scene. Adel, you are going to be, we're like animals at like a watering hole, but you're the animal that has like all the hot gossip and every other animal is like trying to like get you to like, you know, spill what's what the tea is. Oh, what do we have here? Water, water, water. I'm thirsty. Okay. Dip my tongue in, lap it into my throat. I heard, hey, Terry, Terry, Terry, I heard that the Impala's, no, I shouldn't. Water, water, water, laps them into my mouth. Gulp, gulp, gulp. All right. Bye everyone. Jeff, Jeff, Jeff, Jeff, Jeff, Jeff, Jeff. What? The Impala's? What? Oh, you heard something? What did you hear? Oh my God. Jeff, Jeff, are you trying to sort of? I heard that the Impala's have been farting into each other's mouths. You didn't hear this from me. Jeff, Jeff, Jeff, Jeff, Jeff, Jeff, Jeff, Jeff, Jeff, Jeff, Jeff, Jeff, Jeff, Jeff, Jeff, Jeff, Jeff. Bye everyone. No, Jeff, hold on. Hello, are you trying to get us to talk about anything but last night? Are wars of war, huh? I just feel like you're kind of wanting the gossip to be sort of off of you. Like you walked over here kind of. I was at home last night, full time. Sorry, I just been over here laughing. Hyena, what's up? Trish, hey Trish. Hey, what's up, Jeff? Jeff, we weren't all talking about you when you came up. Like last night was last night. Everyone gets drunk on their birthday and makes mistakes. Gossip about me? Okay, this is news. Oh, yeah, some of the news are we're talking about it as well. They said guilty is charged. They've been gossiping about you, Jeff. Oh, Jeff. What did I do? I kind of browned out and that I. Oh, well then we don't have to remind you. I think that that's fine, right? Have a good day. No, we should remind. We should, I mean, we should let him know. We should let him know because he needs to probably. Emotionally process the embarrassment. He called your ex your mom's name and you called your mom your ex's name. And then you called both. Oh no. Oh no. And that was just the tip of the iceberg. What's an iceberg? I don't know. We just say that phrase. Does anyone know why we say that phrase? It's like from the 16th century. All right, here's your next one. When he and his brother and fell from heaven, they did so in flying the formation. Satan goose. You're not there with Satan. Beelze goose. Beelze goose. You're so close. I just watched a squirrel in my tree. Just fell out of the sky right after you said that. And it dropped like 15 feet straight onto another tree. I think it's fine. We summon Beelze goose and then the animals have been dying. Oh no. That was so bad. Do you want to go check on it? I'm so sorry. No, I mean, I can see that the tree down below because it's a hillside is like wiggling and moving. Like it's fine. But I've never seen a squirrel just fall through the air like a dead weight. Oh, he's probably so embarrassed. Yeah. So sorry. Janet, you don't like that story? One, it's going to give me the best dream I've ever had tonight. And also made me realize the answer is probably goose-a-fer. It's goose-a-fer. It's goose-a-fer. It's goose-a-fer. So funny. It's goose-a-fer. I want to see the whole Bible depicted in animal form. I would like to see it seen. Janet, you don't because that is something that exists probably. It's goose-a-fer, but it's also geesis. Geesis Christ. I would bet dollars to the donuts that Untitled Goose Project was originally called goose-a-fer. Probably. I'd like to see a scene. Goose the Baptist. Are you sure? My remix is goose. I do. I am sure. Okay. Adel, you are goose-a-fer. Or no, I'll have J.B.C. You'll be goose-a-fer. Adel, you are going to hell as a human and you're surprised that the devil is a goose. What the fuck? Here and just give me a carrot tube. No, no, no. You're not you. Not you, Adel, but a version of you. Oh. Oh. What the? What? The last thing I remember I was climbing my tree and I fell and I- My... What? I've hurt my... Hello? Hello? Oh. Oh, you're... Hello. You're also dead? What? No, I'm very much alive. Oh, is this...? Well, as much as one could be alive. Welcome to my domain. Heaven? And... Guess again. I'll give you two shots. Hey, hey, hey, hey. Little, little, little hell joke. Purgatory? No, it's hell. It's hell. I guess when you said hell joke I should have assumed. Yeah, yeah. No worries though. Hold on. You are a human? Yeah, I'm an Adel. Okay, yeah, no, I can see that. Which is human-esque. Well, you died. You said you fell out of a... You were saying you fell out of a tree? Yeah, I was gonna say I fell down, but I... Did you... Did you see if there was anything below you when you fell? No, I wasn't... Here's what happened. Here's what happened. Okay. You probably fell on a goose. And the souls got intertwined and switched a little bit. Because this is goose-hell. Oh. I'm goose-ever. Well, those are swamp... Those are trumpet swans. They know what they did. Please help me. I've seen. They know what they did. They know what they did. Everything should have its own hell, right? I would like them to show up and be healthy. It's true because hell is not... It's different from other... It's all siloed. Hell is all siloed. Is heaven still just the free-for-all? Or do all dogs go to dog heaven? It's just dogs and Mormons, I believe. I'm the only one... It depends on... There's three tiers in Mormonism. So one is for dogs. Dogs and Mormons, I guess. It's Mormonism, the one with the dogs. Is Mormonism the one where you get your own planet when you die? Yeah. I mean, one of... I'm sure many... I'm sure many religions give you your own planet. When they saw Mormonism was doing it, like all the other religions were like, this weekend only. Sign up to be a Lutheran and you get your own planet. This weekend only. First, 100 ladies through the door in your own planet. Shout out to all you illegitimate saints out there. Again, I am a lapsed Mormon. So at my lapsed, that's probably putting it strongly. You could be back. You could be back one day, right, Janet? I'm sure they would take me back. I have missionaries show up in my house all the time, having no idea how they got my address. Bless them. Bless them. Right? Are you on some sort of former Mormon list where they... Or are they just showing up in your neighborhood? Former Mormon. Former Mormon. I would have to get myself officially excommunicated. Mama-maman list. I did not. Is that one of Ted's... Ted, did it is... The next one is gonna be former Mormon. Pick a bag. I remember in college, you could get the Mormons called on you if you went to the Latter-day Saints website or whatever and then put in one of your friends address and said, I'm interested in... This is the most tame version of swatting. Yeah, you're like Mormon-swatting people. I call the Mormon Swat Team on my friend. You know what it was? It wasn't even that. What it was was you could get them to send you a copy of the... Book of Mormon. I'm gonna say Mormon Bible. Close enough. They have a better name for it. Book of Mormon. Book of Mormon. Like the play musical. They would send you the Book of Mormon for free. Anyone could get it. Like you could just request it. So if you're interested in seeing like, what the heck's in this thing? But then they would have your address and then they would also send some missionaries out just to like triple check. You don't wanna like swing on and get your own planet. It's fun to swap people with the board. It's marvellous fun. Here's your next one. This Arctic mammal has developed a serious mental disorder as a result of global... Bipolar bear. Bipolar bear. Bipolar bear. Cell polar bear. Cell polar bear. Every single one of us. We are all mentally ill. We are going to get there quick. Bipolar bear. We're gonna get there quick. I do what I see is that Erin, you're a polar bear in therapy. Great. Janet, you are the only therapist available in the North Pole. Ho ho ho ho. Oh my god. Welcome to therapy. Would you like to sit on my lap? No, thank you. Sorry, I was trying to get a last minute appointment. I had a really bad panic attack the other day at work and I just thought that this would help. Would anyone like some cookies? Oh, thank you honey. Sorry, it's gonna be a private session. Oh, a private session. Sounds a little sexy. Ho ho ho. Okay, the clause is famous swingers. Guys, I really am here for therapy. Yeah honey, get out of here. That's super inappropriate and like probably against the law. Oh, okay. I'm sorry. I'm treating the patient. I'll see you guys at the bar later, maybe for something else, but for now. Great, let's keep those things separate. But I'll see you guys at the candy bar. We'll start building a condom. Okay, thank you. I'm sorry, I forgot that an elf was right underneath me. You gotta get out of here two scrapels. Okay. Scraples I'll see you at the candy bar later. So I just feel like sometimes in a snowstorm, like I disappear. Do you know what I mean? Oh, that is so deep. I can't see myself anymore. Like I don't even recognize myself. And if you had to categorize that behavior as either naughty or nice, what do you think you would be? Well, that's the thing is I want, in those moments, I want to be nice, but I feel like I'm kind of no one in those moments. Like I kind of disappear. You know what I think might solve it? I think just go to the bar later and have it a bunch of sex. What's that? You said it, not me. And it was swinging with people. You're right. That's probably the best solution to my emotional problem. Hey, what'll it be? Let me guess, Coca-Cola? Hey, man, fuck you. I want a Bud Light, please. Can I get a Coke? Make that two. Hey, we don't serve your con Coca-Cola's here. Open Bear Strait Coca-Cola here. See? See. That is one of the most memorable Christmas commercials. Is that drinking? Oh yeah, when Santa fucks the polar bear. I feel like that is, as far as my life goes, that is the first time I was, I guess, aware of ASMR. Before ASMR was labeled was the polar bear commercials because they drink, much like Mr. Bean, they drink the Coke and they're like, right? Those are the commercials you were thinking of? I don't remember them making ASMR-y sounds. I don't remember that. I remember the crisp, I feel like they did a lot in the lab with the crisp Coke bottle coming off. Well, that's still ASMR. Yeah, that's still ASMR. Yeah. I thought you were going to say it was your first awareness of CG. Oh, maybe. Hopefully you would have known about CG before that. And yeah. With the Budweiser Frogs puppets, they must have been puppets, right? Those were actors. Those were actors. Those were actors, so. They actually have a wall in Washington, D.C. with their names on it. Those are heroes. Are we talking about the same commercials? The Budweiser, those are three frogs. Oh, okay, we moved to a different commercial. I gotcha. I, yes, I'm sorry. I was trying to think of my first instance of seeing CG in commercial. All those Clydesdales, those are all CG, right? They don't make horses that big, right? Please, God, tell me they don't make horses that big. Oh, are Clydesdales exclusive to Budweiser? Can no one else, if like Dodge Durango wanted to have horses in a commercial, could they have Clydesdales? Or is that, is that. Probably be stupid, but I don't think that they can own an animal. I mean, I think if you can trademark animals, you could trademark humans. And you know, Apple could be like, no other humans can be in commercials, and then read all the. I guess so. Yeah. Yeah, I just don't think I've ever seen anyone else do, like Mr. Clean can do a commercial that's just Clydesdales, if they wanted to, right? Yeah, no, Mr. Clean can't be in like a subway commercial. No, the commercial's gonna have both men in them. It would be cool if he were. You can't license Mr. Clean to also just eat a subway sandwich and at the end it's just subway, you're like, are they going to talk about Mr. Clean? They're all like the brats. Oh shit, you guys, I thought we booked Mr. Bean. He got Mr. Clean. The Charmin Bears are just like in the forest, they're like, do you know that you could bet on presidential elections with Cal-C? And they're like, huh, interesting. And you're like, what the fuck did I just see? What the fuck was that? And the Kepler elves are like, up here, up here. Scrabbles. Now the brawny guy and Mr. Clean are fucking, right? Oh, yeah. Maybe not each other. They're definitely out there fucking. Just kind of running through it. Here's your next one. I do want to see a scene real quick. Oh, god. We're going to see a commercial for, this is a commercial for orange juice. And the three of you, Jana, Aaron and JPC, you're each going to enter at some point as a very famous mascot or a spokesperson for a different brand. Got it. Oh, let me go into the fridge here. See what we have to drink. Milk, no water. Oh, orange juice. Yum. I'm drinking some now. All done with the orange. That's great. Ah, a tiger. I'm not here to kill you. Why did I even say that? I'm not putting anyone at ease when I say that. I love orange juice because I love breakfast. I won't say what else I eat, but it's all great. Anthony, right? Just make sure you put that orange juice back in the refrigerator when you're done. Remember, only you can prevent orange juice from getting too warm. Oh, did someone say Christmas? I fucking knew it. This is going to launch into a Santa thing again. And I'm going to get horny all over again. In my mind, I was going through the mascots I know. First, I hit Mr. Peanut. It was like Mr. Peanut. Me too. And I was like, you see the voice? No fucking idea what he sounds like. Yeah. Fancy. All visual, yeah. Yeah. I was also thinking Mr. Monopoly. And then I was like, that's not a spokesman. It is. Does the tricks rabbit talk? Again, I just don't know. Yeah. I don't know. He sweats. He sweats. Right? And on commercials, he's like, oh. If I hadn't committed myself to be Santa immediately without even knowing what Adam was going to have us do, I would have brought in maybe the Pillsbury Doughboy. Pillsbury Doughboy, yes. He he. The other one, my brain went to, I went to the, I don't know why, the Gordon's Fisherman. But then I hit that and I go, no, what does he sound like? Do you know the Gordon's Fisherman? He's on like the fish stick box. He's just like a guy in a yellow raincoat. I confuse him with like, isn't there like a fisherman's friend, a cough drop, like a losange that is basically the same guy? Which is actually pretty addictive. And then the other one I went to was Jolly Green Giant. And I'm like, none of these people have this thing. Like these, these are, again, these are just like cartoon mascots on packaging. So they wouldn't have like a known voice, but. Yeah. To be fair, the Jolly Green Giant kind of aping Santa Claus. He does go ho ho ho, doesn't he? Wow. He does. Wait, Justin. Ho ho ho, I'm ho, ho horny. For beans? Horny for beans. All right, hold on. We got to do more. One more or we have three more. We're going to get through these. Despite being extinct, this creature is still very worried about its status as king of the dinosaurs. Teerant tyrant, Soros Rex? Very worried. Clue into fairy word. Tyrant Soros Rex. Anxiety Rex. Nice one. Oh, you got it. It's the first one I got. That's nice. Nice one. All right, here's your next one. Projects led by these red-rumped primates often turn into wasteful and impractical messes. Baboons. Yes, baboon. Red-rumped primate is baboon. Baboon. What's the clue? What's the other? Messy messes. Wasteful and impractical messes. Bamboondoggles. This is like gay. Yes, Janet, really? Yes, it's baboon doggles. In my mind, I was like, what's a, is a boondoggle a thing? And then I think I was imagining a dune buggy. That's a dune buggy. Oh my goodness, I'm going to get on my boondoggle. We are going to head out into the dudes. This is going to be so fun. Imagining a dune buggy. You know who has great dunes? Indiana. Not like that shit hole I run. Yeah, I wouldn't tell them. Coming hard against Iowa today, guys. Sorry. Okay, here's your last one. You guys have done a great job. And everyone's done an equally great job is what I'll say. No, I got one. They got a hundred. Let's not even, let's not joke. I'm, I didn't cook long enough. Erin, we said a lot of things. That doesn't mean we got them right. That's right. I don't know. You didn't get a lot. I think you're going to get this one, Erin. This ocean predator makes cynical and ironic remix about being older than trees. Shark. Megalodon. It's shark. We got shark. Shark. What's the other hint? The, the. Um, yeah. Ironic remarks. I said remix. Shark barkman. Shark barkman. Snarky, sharky. Sharky. Snarky. Snarky. Ironic remarks about being older than trees. Snarky. Why is the older than trees part important? No. I mean, uh, no, it's. Sharks are older than trees. That's a fact. Think cynical and ironic remarks. Sarcasm. If someone is making those. Sharkastic. Shark. Cast. It's sharkastic. And you got it. And I said you would and you didn't. I think someone else got it before me. Okay. No, I think you got it. Come on guys. Let's not, let's not do this whole song and dance. Okay, Erin, since you got that one right and you're so good at being sharkastic, I'm, I want to see a scene. You're going to be like a, this is like a underwater standup comedy club. And you are going to be playing a shark who's doing standup, but they only do crowd work. Okay. So you're going to be coming to us for crowd work. Anyone here on a date? Anyone here on a date tonight? Woo. We're on a date. Yeah. The two of us are on a date. How long have you two been in a relationship? It's our first date. Your first date? Yeah. Wow. How'd you meet each other? Coming to the show? Sad. You met each other here at the show and now you're on a date? Well, this is our first date. We met up at the show. Yeah. Where did you meet? Where? We go to the same school. You guys are way too young to be in here. What do you mean you go to the same school? We're fish. Of fish. School of fish. We just, I don't really like people in my audience who do like group think and just sort of follow what other people do. So can you guys get the hell out of here? Everyone should applaud me, right? I'm getting all these fish that like they just need. Oh, this is my impression of being in a school of fish. Oh, you guys are going right. I'll also go right. You have a big fish on your stomach. Yeah. He cleans, he cleans my me off, bitch. I need it medically. You're going to come after me. It's something I need medically that fish cleans my stomach, bitch. I'm also a yes man who does a lot of wooing and cheering. So it seems like the crowd's more into it than they are. Thank you so much. Thank you so much to that trumpeter swan in the back. No, get out, get this guy out of here. See, no, absolutely not. No more Santas. No more Santas of my watch. I don't think so. It was Santa Eel, Erin. You don't want to see Santa Eel? I don't. I don't want any more branding of Santas on this podcast. Santa Ray, like Manta Ray. When an eel bites your heel, that's for real. That's a moray. I do like Moray Eel. That's great. I like a crowd work comedian that goes to the crowd and asks them a question and then kicks them out. A crowd worker who's just gradually working his way through kicking everyone out of his show. I love it. Yeah. Janet, you did a great job. Ted, you did a great job. And everyone here did a great job. And now it is time for the saddest part of the show. The part of the show where we basically stop doing the show and we tell you about stuff that we'd like you to check out. Janet, do you have anything that you would like people to check out? I'm going to resist making an April Fool's Day joke and instead tell you to listen to E Pluribus Motto, the podcast I do with the great John Hodgman, where we explore mottos. I'm blanking on anything else that a state chooses for itself. Mottos, flags, state snacks, state flowers, state flower, state tree, state bees. It's really just an excuse for us to talk about cute stuff and try to come up with new and better non-Mottos for states. It's a lot of fun. Janet, can I ask, have you done Iowa? I don't believe we've done Iowa yet, but I will say as a way of apologizing for accidentally and not meaning to call Iowa a dump, I had a great time in Des Moines. And I talk about it kind of a lot. I love Des Moines. Yeah, I really love it. They have a zombie themed burger place. Oh, cool. Has great food and great shakes. Yeah, for a total shithole, Des Moines knows. I like to plug quality time. It's my monthly show here in Los Angeles. It's a different theme every month. So come check that out if you haven't yet. Add on anything to plug. Please check out Gumshoes and Dragons, the delightful D&D slash Colombo podcast that we do with our friend Anthony Birch. You can check that out, Gumshoes and Dragons. And also, there was something else I wanted to plug, which was, oh, please go back and watch the Coca-Cola commercials with the polar bears and let me know if they do make little Mr. Bean-esque sounds. Because I swear. I swear that's when I was first aware of like a pleasing sound, which was like the polar bears drinking and they're like, like it's so satisfying. Please watch that. JPC, anything to plug or a review to read? Hey, this is also, this Friday is the first of our month of April of the Penguin. The Penguin Baseball is back on the Patreon. So check it out, patreon.com. Hey, we're at Reddl. We'll have Casey, Tony and Janet Varney will be there for the draft. We have five new exciting teams. It's going to be a fun April of the Penguins. That is Patreon for Hey, we're at Reddl all month long. Hey, I also have a review to read. This review comes to us from Sintwine. Sintwine says, fun stuff. It's funny. I like it. Short, sweet, to the point. Great job, Sintwine. Thank you. Aaron, I have another animal pun raid thing here. I guess. Oh. Tedded it. Amazing. Just sent this one to me. So this is a type of bird that can't fly and plays baseball, but is also from outer space. Hot dog. Come on. I didn't even get to participate in it. I don't even get to do it anymore. You gotta be fast. You gotta be fast, Aaron. I'm Patrick Collin. Casey, Tony to the editing. Have our repairs in the music. Bogo created by Emily Cardenas and Emily Nebora. Hey there, balls and eggs. If you like that, you're gonna love this. It's April of the Penguins on Hey, Red or Redal, which means more penguin baseball. You can listen to that plus our entire back catalog at patreon.com. Hey, Red or Redal by joining the Clue Crew for $5 a month or starting a seven day free trial or the review crew for $8 a month. Plus, you get those ad free episodes. See you there. That was a hate gun podcast.