The Sneaky Nakamara

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A white dude and an Asian dude. You two are disgusting. You two are something. We're bad friends. I realize that Andreas doesn't like quiet moments with me. Why? Why do you not like to be quiet with him and just hang out? I knew he was driving up to the parking lot, so I went out there to greet him, like I always do every episode. I like to give him a light hug and ask him what his days are like. I complimented my car. I said it was a beautiful car. What else did I say? And then you got really close. No, I said, where do you live on a... Do you also live on a junkyard? But as a joke, I said that. Uh-huh. Yeah, yeah. It's not funny because it's real. I know. He does live in a junkyard. Yeah, that's what I realized. What did I tell you? You said, I don't remember. I don't remember That part I plead the fifth on that You're a little junkyard dog You're a little Spanish junkyard dog I could see you racing to the door And I was like whoa whoa whoa dude What about our moment He goes I don't like moments with you Why don't you like moments with Bobby What's the problem He gets uncomfortably close That's a hard word for you to say Uncomfortable Like you saw his brain pause. Don't mess this up, Andres. I was going in for a hug, though. Yeah. I realize you don't like hugs. Right. You don't. You're not a touchy-feely person. Not from you. Okay. Now, through Andrew, I've never seen you hug Andrew either. Andrew's more like normal, you know? Yeah, because you're not a hugger. If he gives me a hug, he doesn't, you know, grab my butt. I'm trying to get all of you, dude. I want to hug your butt, dude. why can't i hug your butt guy i'm i'm not a hug we're not huggy people though who but well like i don't come from huggy folk yeah we're not we don't hug we do sometimes if it matters we do a side hug though like if when your dad dies we hug that's the only time you when your dad died i hug you right yeah i don't do when your dad died yeah you insult me first i did not what see that's Insults are verbal hugs Right You look stupid today Right Big hug I'm so love here Yeah Big hug So you're back on your Desigual shirts Desigual I've never been out of them You have been a little bit You know what's the words of those shirts? Prince Andrew Oh He does He does He loves that It's a little weird What does this mean? Who did this? McCone? Yeah Glad friends Is that because we had dinner with your friend? oh yeah well wait you had you had dinner with andrew with your friend was that did i get a call no because we just did a whiskey ginger episode like an hour ago we just did a pod and then i took them out for a little meal okay that's fair yeah that's fair because i have a lot of meals after tiger belly and you're not invited those yeah exactly right so that's fair it's nice it was a nice little outing for a second with them but you know who's them i want to him and his good buddy his friend's from in from out of town and his friend comes in from out of town and he sleeps on his couch can you imagine i can't imagine on his couch yeah you sleep on your couch you sleep on the other couch you guys sleep on the same couch it's an apartment filled with couch yeah yeah yeah i see yeah well he's uh mccone's got an entire i don't know an entire salvation salvation army in his back seat i'm not kidding what do you mean overflowing with clothes overflowing he keeps his whole closet in his car i don't know if he's on the run what are you doing well my mom was just in town and we went through a lot of my clothes that i'm gonna donate and yeah get rid of but now they're just in garbage bags we know your mom was in town we went and had a burger with your mom that was a sneaky little visit huh can i tell people when that went on go ahead you and i after the pod yeah we amongst ourselves went you know i mean let's go get a let's go get a burger yeah was between you and i that's what it felt like be honest was that between you and i what i thought that's what i thought as well a private moment it's a private you got in my car yep we drove to the burger place yeah right we're sitting there and all of a sudden mccone and his beautiful dear mother comes yeah and pretended like whoa you guys are here too and we're like yeah you fucking heard us that we're coming here here's mccone i I didn't know you guys were going to be here. Yeah, yeah. No, I think you said – I thought you didn't know for sure. Yeah, but I was going to come here anyway. Opposite direction of where he lives. Right. Literally opposite. Really opposite? Yeah, 100%. Oh, 100%. And then what you did is, let's all sit together. I felt bad. Right? Oh, yeah. So we're sitting there, which changes what I wanted to talk about. 100%. Yeah. Yeah, because with you and I, we could spill the beans. Different story. Yeah, and then with your mom, it was like, oh, well, how was – How is the weather in Minneapolis? Yeah, in Minneapolis. Yeah. And you should have seen, dude, the way she was flirting with Bobby was crazy. She was flirting with him. She kept eating fries. She put ketchup on it and go. Yeah. And she goes. She would get the smallest fry, too, which is offensive. You're the crispy, small one. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. She goes, little yellow fry. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And you suck that. Yeah. Yeah, I didn't like that. Yeah. But you know what? That's whatever. You're an attractive boy. Yeah. And I get it. People are going to flirt with you. You know what? I would if your mom was single. All right. Hello. Stick around, man. Yeah, I'm kidding, McCown. You never know what the world holds for us right now. I'm on my Olympics kick harder than I've ever been. I haven't seen a single – I'm watching Luge. I'm watching – What else are you watching, guy? Curling. We watched curling last night, and then I watched it again. Exciting. Yeah. Don't you like it? The figure skating. Are we doing good? Who's doing the best in figure skating? We do. We got a sweet little boy. Malman or something? Let's see the gold medal leader. Right now is Norway. It would be. Italy and U.S. is in third. But a Nordic country should be in first. It's the Winter Olympics. We had this discussion at dinner. Why isn't the Summer and Winter Olympics taking place at the same time? Yeah. Why are they not? Is Ghana on there? Let me see where Ghana is. Ghana's gone. All right. I mean. That was supposed to be a joke. I got it. No one got that. Well, how come the Jamaican bobsled team isn't on there? They made a movie about it. They made a pop about it. Yeah. It was a big deal for a short amount of time. We said, why couldn't the winter and the summer be at the same time? Why don't they do them at the same time? Ooh. I look at Carlos who's trying to figure out the math here. Yeah. Why wouldn't that work? It could work. Hold on, hold on, hold on. Let him try to figure it out. Why wouldn't it work? They wouldn't be in the same place, but it'd be happening at the same time. Oh, I thought it was same place, and then the issue was pants versus shorts packing. Oh, packing. So that's the big deal is packing. That really threw me off. Right. No, but. You can do it at the same place. Well, yeah, kind of. There are certain sports you couldn't do, like the long-distance running thing. What's it called? Long-distance running. No. I think it's cut and dry. I don't think so. Long-distance running? Yeah. It's called long-distance running? No, it's called marathon. Marathon? Yeah, marathon. Marathon. The ones that the Africans are good at. Those are the sprints. That's everything. Any running. You're right. They're good at all the running. Pretty good at jumping, running. yeah running and the jumping right right yeah you could do that indoors yeah right yeah the long marathon probably not no they would just keep running around that track you run around the track what's 26 times four 30 000 times there it is yeah it's a long day but i just said you could do it america 26 miles we know 105 laps you could do it hemispherically because right now it's winter in Australia. I'm sorry, it's summer in Australia, winter elsewhere, right? Winter here, summer there, you just switch it. You just do a summer here, summer there, winter here. Just do it at the same time. I think it's a good idea. I think they should do it simultaneously. Then it would make more of a buzz. The Olympics don't have the buzz anymore that they used to have. The Winter Olympics. What does better, winter or summer? Summer, right? Summer. Summer kills it. It's not even close. Well, because winter is a lot of like skiing and then shooting at little targets and then skiing again and then um a lot of lugee yeah they're flying i have a suggestion yeah do all three at the same time summer winter what's the other one the one you put in hobbiton or something special special so like some some fantasy land you know i mean i don't know wait what no winter summer special yeah where do you put special you know i mean somewhere in what middle earth like middle earth or you know i mean or at the castle at the hogwarts what's Hogwarts Castle? Sure. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, we're big Special Olympics fans over here. You're great. Huge. I'm huge. You're great at that. I don't know how... So what? We're down on medals. We got some time left. I'm hoping the USA really pops back because we're big USA fans over here. I like when a small country wins something. Like Trinidad and Tobago, we said earlier? Yeah. That's our guy. That's our figure skate guy. Zoom in on his face. That's our guy, dude. Dude, he is. Wow. Ilya. Zana, dude. Maleninen. What? Ilya. They should have an alternative Olympics, like turning point Olympics. Oh, they do. Don't you think? Yeah. A turning point Olympics? Just Americans only. Yeah. No, like different competitions, like the meth, you know. The meth, you know. The meth, you know. Yeah. Who has the best back bend? Who can be on the most amount of fentanyl, touch their toes and wake up? Stuff like that. Yeah. That's pretty good. Yeah. Yeah. White trash Olympics. That's what it would be. Yeah. I think we probably have that. Yeah. Oh, redneck Olympics is a, yeah. Running with a carburetor. yeah you gotta steal with a steal a carburetor and run with it how many fish can you carry you're just running what you guys have that the hot dogs and the hot dog eating competition right and that's not a yeah what about you guys you're saying that we're turning point no he's saying that we're dirty americans we are dirty americans and you're an american too now pal yeah yeah i did what do the spanish compete in what are you guys good at soccer no not anymore not anymore no pretty good. Don't give it up. They're pretty good. Tannies. Yeah. Who won the last World Cup? Not Spain. It was Argentina. Yeah. When was the last time Spain won a World Cup? 2012. What does that say? 2010. 10. Yeah. Been a long time, pal. And that, by the way, and that was, what is that? Spain won eight national teams that have been crowned world champs. Participated 16 of total. 2010 isn't a long time when you're thinking about if they do it every four years. 16 years so every so it's been how many how many World Cups let's see 2010 four four good yeah yeah nice but you have also a lot of great countries that do it you know think of Brazil South America Germany England Germany I mean there's so many great that's good 2010 I'm backing you up it's not bad I don't like it yeah I can name you really just ballers from Spain Iniesta you know him I do. You don't. Puyol. Do you remember Puyol? Puyol. Yeah, Puyol. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It was very good. Ladies and gentlemen, Puyol. Yeah. He's a Puyol. Some good ones. The Spanish announcer. Arsenal has some. Do they? Yeah. Yeah. Mikel Marino. Marino. That sounds Italian. Yeah. When he says it, yeah. Yeah, Marino. Well, how do you spell it in Spanish? Marino. Marino. Marino. We have Zubamendi. Is that Spanish? Mm-hmm. That's Basque. Basque. That's the nice side. Wow. Fancy boy side. So there's ghetto Spanish last name? Give me a ghetto Spanish. I'll give you one. Yeah, Torres. Rosende. That's a ghetto Spanish last name. Rosende, yeah, yeah. Rosende. Yeah, yeah. That's bottom class. Rosende is bottom class. Bottom class. Write that down. What does Rosende mean? What does it translate to? Praising. Something you don't get around here much. Yes. Let's hear how the computer says it. Rosne. Brother, it's in Danish. Rosne. Yo, so is Garcia, let me look at, is Garcia a ghetto name or upper class, you think? Garcia. It's just so common. Torres. Torres. Upper clover. Common? Common. What about Iniesta? Very, uh, very upper. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. So really, class, you can determine class by last name. Look at him saying yes. Yeah, yeah. The idea is that, Torres, this dick is a dick butt. Sorry, this dick is a dick butt? It started listening to your conversation. Oh, good. Get us plugged into AI. Yeah. Dude, AI is just on fire right now. I cannot. Some of it. Driving me nuts. Maybe he helped Tom Cruise and Brad Pitt. What happened? Did you say the black-eyed peas in Tom Cruise? Brad Pitt and Tom Cruise fighting. Is it good? You Instagrammed that to me. Just insane. I saw a clip of Seinfeld where George is kicking Jerry, and it looks pretty good. Oh, I saw that into a brick wall? Yeah, it looked pretty good. Oh, that looked amazing. Yeah, it's a Chinese – no, that's a message. Whoa. You killed Jeffrey Epstein, you animal! He was a good man! He knew too much about our Russia operations. He had to die, and now you die too. Dude? Dude, dude. It's getting scary, dude. I want to watch that movie. Yeah, yeah. I want to watch that movie, too. And let me tell you something. What? Insane. Tom Cruise in this scenario kills Epstein, and Brad's mad. Interesting twist. Yeah. To have Brad be the bad guy. Yeah. And Tom be the ultimate hero once again. Yeah. He killed Epstein. And we know that's not true. He's living right now. I saw Epstein today at Blue Bottle Coffee. I saw him. Dude, I saw him at Air One, dude. He was there. He went to HiHo. I followed him from high-end to Erwan, dude. Yeah. Yeah, and he just disappeared. Yeah, at Erwan, I think he gets the Kylie Jenner smoothie or whatever. He loves it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Which one is it? What Jenner is it? Is it Kylie smoothie? No, it's the other one. What's the other one? No, the other one's Kendall, but I think it is the Kylie Jenner smoothie. Did they get a piece of that? Of course. I think she probably got a signing deal with them. They probably gave her a couple million just to use her name. My God. Travis Scott has one, too. Travis Scott has a smoothie? My God. There it is. There's her smoothie. Peaches and cream, 23 bucks. Peaches and cream. Wow. Know what I mean? Peaches and cream. Wow. Now, she's with, what's his name? Timothy. Timothy Chalamet. She's a Chalamet-er now. Yeah. That guy, man. He's batting 1,000, huh? Oh, yeah. Movies, girls, right? Dating roster is amazing. Batting 1,000, this kid. When does it end for him? It doesn't. No, he's forever. Isn't that great? It's great. Good. Yeah, he's Leo. He's Leo. He's Leo. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But the difference is we don't see him in a baseball hat covering his face all day. He's kind of out in them streets. He wants an Oscar. Oh, once he gets one, you think he'll cover up? Yeah. Hat down. Do you think Leo keeps his hat on when he's banging those models? Do you think he keeps the hat on and the mask on, the COVID mask, and covers up? Headphones. And headphones on while he's doing it? Who's that? Toby. Toby with his girlfriend. What is this? Who is she? Is she famous? No. Mishka Silva. she's a model obviously Super Bowl oh that was at the Super Bowl mmhmm just new girlfriend he's Toby's still doing it huh killing it wow Spiderman dude yeah Spiderman money dude look at that Spiderman Spiderman grabbing all the hot models that he can you know I'll be honest have you met him before Toby no yeah no I don't know him he was a little standoffish when I met him what happened did you try to hack him no I just I walked up I tried to talk to him minute dude yeah yeah it's a great joke you gotta land your syllables yeah did you ha him did you ha him hug yeah can you say g say good gracious good gracious there hug did you hug did you try to hug him but i think it was the way i was approaching i was trying to like talk to him i was like hey dude um spider-man good are you good i get it i get like it was like kind of a like i would my i was doing what you're doing i couldn't get my words out you know what i mean this is good dude you did spider-man good yeah hey hey man hey i get it have you done that and he tells his assistant he's like what was up with that disabled chinese yeah yeah i got nervous i'll tell you who locked me up pretty good who you know when you think someone might know who you are in our business so you think if they see you they'll go hey man you know or a different acknowledgement assumption assumption well no no just that they think you might not just be a fan that you're someone who's like a somewhat of a peer yeah i was going to a coffee shop this is a long time ago so credit to him he probably didn't know who i was but i was going to get a coffee and uh oscar martina oscar from the office yeah he's getting out of his car and he's going to the meter to pump the meter by himself by the way so i wouldn't interrupt him if he was with somebody you know whatever and then i'm coming out of the coffee shop and i go hey man and he goes he turns he goes hi and i go you're great man just to you know i love your work and he goes okay like pissed and i was like oh but then i thought for a second he'd be like are you a comic or you know that's what you make you took a risk it's my fault yeah no it wasn't your fault well that's not your fault but he could have at least gone thanks man he was kind of like uh all right like get the fuck out of here yeah and i and so i threw my coffee on him no but i kind of locked me up i was like oh shit i thought that's what you treat i treat everybody as if they're a producer not you don't do it to everybody no no no a homeless guy would be like hey buddy back to me i go man good to see you because you never know you never know dude because one time i saw rick rumen at the comedy store and people were like there's a homeless guy in the you know i mean well this is before rick rumen lost the weight and stuff like that and he looked disheveled yeah and in my mind i always thought oh it could be anybody right so just if it's a homeless person you know i mean you know albino puerto rican guy with his blind you know you just treat as if they produce you're like john leguizamo what are you doing here yeah i treat everyone as if they're like a big time you know i mean i had a moment i talked about it today earlier but man it got me there was a moving truck outside of the house it was blocking the driveway and i had to get out of the driveway and so i walked out there it's early in the morning i was like hey brother because it's a 18-wheeler truck it's a huge truck i was like hey man are you guys gonna like is there any way for us to get out because we're blocked here and the guy's like yeah in a little bit and i was like all right well i mean we got to get out man and then he goes i know who you are and i was like hey man and he goes i know where you live no yeah and i was like right on dude and i started to walk inside and then I hear him go, Bobby Mom guy. Yeah. And then I pull down and they're just staring at me. But it does feel weird. It feels weird, yeah. For him to be like, I know where you live was weird as shit. Yeah. And they do. And they do. I know. Well, if I die next week, that's it. Yeah, yeah. Do you ever do this? Today I went – so I was late – so I have therapy on Thursdays. It's all the way in the NC now, so I know exactly when to leave my house. You have to leave at 315 because of the time. Okay? It's like there's traffic. But this time on the 101, there's deadlock. Oh, yeah. Right? And then I looked at my thing and said there was an accident. And when I got to the accident, oh, my God. Horrific? No, it wasn't that horrific. It was like two girls sitting against the curb of the freeway. And they're just like, you know what I mean? Lamenting. Yeah, talking to a cop. And they're like this and that. There was another car, right? And I came just close, just rolling down the window and just screaming at them. Why? Because they caused all this chaos. They got into an accident. I know. That's my point. That's why I didn't roll down the window. I'm a good person. I didn't roll down the window. You're right. Yeah, but in a society where it goes like, fucking bitch. I had a fucking four o'clock. You know what I mean? Most people would go, is everyone okay? Not me, not me, not me, not me. No. I'm late. You don't feel resentful? No. What are you going to do? No one in the room. Namaste, dog. Thank you, Carlos. I'm a big road rage guy. Yeah, I'm a road rage guy. That's why your car is dented to shit. Yeah. You're Mr. Drive Too Fast and Wild. You don't have road rage. Honestly, when I get in the car, I reserve. It's over. The car, it's over. I can do nothing about it. Oh, my God. This guy, he's namaste. No. Only in the car. Because we've lived here for so long. It's not a surprise. I never get on the freeway and go, what? What the heck is all this? I know what's coming. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I've never once gotten into a bumper-to-bumper on the 405 and been like, this is just unreal. It's every fucking day. Everywhere you go in L.A., there's a line and there's traffic. I don't care. I'm over it. You know what I do to skip the lines? What? I go to a place that's shittier. I just – I go to the place I got a B. I'll just go to the place I got a B or a C. There's coffee shops on every corner. Just go to the shittier one. Oh, no, no, no, no. I disagree. You want to go to the good one? Yeah, I go to the good one. And the Alfreds, right? i will park in a red no oh yeah yeah i do a legal thing i run red lights well i do that oh you do well because those are suggestions oh they are yeah red light is kind of like hey you're gonna stop and you're like yeah i'll get through it i think i think you should be able to run red lights yeah and and the green should be delayed on the other side steven pearl no comic had a song that he would sing made me laugh but no whenever i say it no one ever laughs give it He goes, a stop sign ain't nothing but an octagon. An octagon ain't going to tell me what to do. Factor. Cold days, big goals, no time to cook. Factor makes healthy eating easy with fully prepared meals designed by dieticians and crafted by chefs. So eat well without the planning or cooking. This is the best part, man. I love Factor. You just grab it, heat it up, eat it up, baby. Quality, functional ingredients including lean proteins, colorful veggies, whole food ingredients, and healthy fats. 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And thanks to Shopify, they make it so simple and so easy because they also have award-winning 24-7 customer support. So if anything happens, we can reach out and they take care of it. Get the word out like you have a marketing team behind you. Easily create email and social media campaigns wherever your customers are scrolling or strolling. That's right. And did we mention that purple ShopPay button? It's used by millions of businesses around the world. That's why Shopify has the best converting checkout on the planet. Helps boost conversions, meaning less carts are going to go abandoned and more sales for you. How do they get it? It's time to turn those what ifs into with Shopify today. Sign up for your $1 per month trial today at Shopify.com slash bad friends. Go to Shopify.com slash bad friends. That is Shopify.com slash bad friends. That always made me laugh. Who did that? He's a comic named Steven Pearl. You know what I mean? An octagon ain't going to tell me what to do. Yeah, yeah. You know, he died in a car accident, of course. He did, yeah. Steve and Pearl. Dude, this dude was so funny back in the day when I was young. There he was with Robin. Yeah. He grew up with Robin at the zoo back in San Francisco. Oh, really? Yeah, back in the day, yeah. Wow. And when I was a young guy, you know what I mean? He used to headline the La Jolla Comets when I was a doorman down there, and he used to open with that song. Would it kill? Yeah. In a silly way. Like, that's the silliest thing I've ever, you know. But he's right. Yeah. It's a suggestion. It's a suggestion. He's right. You ain't going to tell me what to do. I do. Parking in the red is good. McCone did that the other day. Parked all day in the red. Didn't get a ticket. I was shocked. Yeah. Right here. I do it all the time. Yeah. In the valley. Yeah. You can't do that over the hill. You play that game in the city, you're going to get one. Not over here, pal. But no, I don't wait in these lines. Like there's a line. There's a place called Community Goods. Hot spot coffee shop. And they have a line down the block every single day. Look at that. Is that Community Goods? That's a picture. The picture of the business is a line. If that's not a deterrent, I don't know what is. So you've never been to community good. And I will never go. Yeah, yeah. Is there coffee there? Is coffee all over the fucking place? Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's the coffee. It's coffee and it's breakfast, right? There's no chance it's better than every other fucking place. There's a place in Los Feliz like that that you wait in line and you go in and it's just packed. I don't know what it's called. It's much like community. All time? Probably that. All time? Yeah. every time I'm on a like a Raya date they want to meet there and I just go fuck there's valet though oh there is valet at a coffee shop yeah it's not coffee it's food oh it's actual meat yeah yeah okay that's fine yeah and all these cool people are there I hate cool people don't you I'm done with it you're one of them fuck off you live in the cool people area I know but I'm like one of you guys no you're not you're not one of us no you're not we don't claim you no you're not a part of our club it's like Predator Badlands Predator Badlands We got to see Predator Badlands before next episode so we can discuss this because everyone's talking about it. I saw it in the theater. It's been out for months and months and months. What are you talking about? I haven't seen it. I've been telling you to watch it. It's really good. It's in the theater now? No. Hulu now. It's on Hulu? On Disney Plus, yeah. Even better. I'll watch it at home. Who's in it? Fanning. Yeah, Fanning. L. Dakota Fanning? L. L, great. Yeah. Fan of the Fannings. Fan of the show. I love Fannings. Big Fanning fan. Big fanning fan. I'm a fanning fan for life. And who's on the cover? That's her. Yeah, that's her. Well, I mean, that doesn't look like her. Why do they do that? Well, she's an android. Yeah. Yeah, but in the movie, she looks like her. But in the poster, it doesn't look like her at all. I couldn't tell you. And who is the predator? Oh, yeah. Oh, so Demetrius Schuster Kolomagati. Yeah. We've got to pick a different last name, bud. Yeah. Demetrius Schuster Kolomagati. Wait, sorry. Go back so I can see his name. Kolomagati. Kolomatangi God that's hard to say Do you ever do that Like a comic Will have a really Difficult last name That's young Yeah And I don't do this anymore Because it's wrong I feel bad for even But it's like I would Hey man let me change The last name What do you mean Well your name is Dimitri Malangango You know what I mean Just change it to What do you mean Steve Smith Steve Smith Right or No They said that to Leonardo DiCaprio and Benicio Del Toro. Those are easy things to say. DiCaprio is one of the easiest things to say. Leonardo was Leonardo da Vinci. That's our familiar name. And DiCaprio is not anything insane. Yeah. But then once Zach came along, I was like, oh, it's fine. Yeah, but imagine how long. It took a long... Yeah, but even back when I saw him at Open Mics in the 90s, I never was... I didn't even bother... I just called him Zach. Like if I was bringing on a guy with a name like Zach... Oh, my God's nightmare. I would just literally go, ladies and gentlemen, this next time you're going to love it, it's Zach G. I would just do that. I can't. I can't do it. Well, because I would butcher it. It would be worse if I didn't butcher it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Fuck it. I'll just say Zach G. I do that still. Even friends of mine, I can't say it right. Esther P. Esther P. Yeah, Esther P. I do, right? You know, another one is Christina P. Well, yeah, you can't say her last name. I can't say it. I've never said it right ever. But she goes by Christina P. sometimes. Yeah, I say it. My doctor, my psychiatrist is – look, I just texted him today, Dr. Mike. It's impossible to say his last name. So when I first met him, I was like, hey, can I just call you Dr. Mike? Yeah. And he was like, yeah, that's fine. Because it's like what a sigmatigine? Yeah, say yes. I said that because a woman that was working for us, a woman that was working for us, her last name was so unbelievable. It was literally like what a sanaric sanasafon. Yes. At some point, I just like – I'm not even going to say yours. Yeah. I can't even – There should have been a rule back in the beginning of time where a last name can only be five letters. That's really good. Don't you think? That's really good. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Look at these. Five letters. Like a Bengali surname. Yeah, yeah. Chata-pa-da-chata-cha-da-ji. Yeah. Chaka-ta-da-ba-da-chaka-cha-da-bi. Yeah. Well, you know what? These are easier because you just mumble it. You'd go, Mateo, chaka-pa-da-cha-da-ji. If you said it close, no one will know. And also, they know that their last names are complex. So they let it go usually. If it's like super long. Yeah. You know what I mean? Like, you know, they're not going to go, hey, it's polo guanagama. They're not going to say that. They correct you? Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's polo guanagama. Yeah, so you don't say it that way. It's like, dude, it's like, I can't. I can't do it. It's not part of my – It's not a part of my vocabulary. I can't do it. Yeah. First names, keep it simple too, I think. Keep it easy. Keep it easy, dude. You know? Take it easy. Keep it easy. You have a very easy name Bobby, Andrew Santino Lee Yeah, Santino Lee Yeah, yeah Carlos Now Herrera Herrera Herrera A little tough Herrera Yeah Herrera You know what I also don't like When you have a Spanish name And you see someone like Megyn Kelly or something Super pronounced the double R And does the roll I don't like it She goes And let me tell you something About Carlos Herrera I don't like it Especially when she's I don't like it Like angry about it Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And here is this bad bunny. He's got his whole crew of Mexicans dancing behind him. He's got Carlos Lopez. It's crazy. It's crazy, yeah. To just like dip in and dip out. I don't like it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. They all do that. But newscasters do that. It drives me nuts. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. You know, I talked on stage last night about Latinx. I tried some new shit about Latinx. Remember they tried Latinx? And I asked a Mexican guy in the front row. i go hey bro do you what's up with latinx he's like no we wouldn't fucking with it i was like so whites just tried to like shoehorn that in he's like yeah nah i was like i don't know i said did any latinos you know fuck with it he's like no what the fuck no but it's fun why we tried to do it white tried to do it it wasn't the wokey i know but but it was so nobody asked for it to change carlos did you ask for it fuck no i feel like you asked for it i was pitching a tv show during that time and there was a hispanic character and they made me put latinx in and like everyone gave me shit about it including my own but it's like so but what about saying someone's latin is offensive um give me a learning lesson is it offensive no i don't think so i mean well you're fucking latin yeah i mean technically i was pushing for asian z yeah and it doesn't get that catch on at all wait calling someone latin is generally not considered an offensive slur while not inherently racist is less precise than using inappropriate terms like Latino Latina Hispanic I know but it an encompassing thing Yeah, exactly. So because of the Latino and Latina, they decided for Latinx, so they didn't have to do gender. But you just say Latin, and it would encompass both. Right. So this doesn't make any sense. Like I'm a pale white. I don't need that. No. Yeah, pale white. No, we got categorized. I got. No. Oh. Right, I'm a pale white But I'm just a white At the end of the day, I'm just a white Yeah, yeah Yeah, yeah You're pale white, I mean normal white Yeah Normal white, thank God Normal hair color, yeah Come on everybody, yeah Come on, yeah Yeah, yeah Nice guy Yeah, yeah, yeah I like this bit We don't need it. We just don't need the extra bullshit. Too much extra shit. Too much extra shit. Like I'm searching for a new doctor on the website, on like the insurance website. Dude, I mean, all I want to know is what do you do? And they give way too much extra shit. Like too much information, stuff that they do. Like the first tab was gender affirming care. Yeah. I was like, what about internal medicine? i just want to know if you'll find out if i'm fucking sick yeah like do the scan dude i'm gonna do the scan when you do the scan i want to do the scan well let's go together i'm being real though i really think because i know i don't know if japan's being real july but can i tell we the scan but no no i want i want japan and scan to be real japan is real okay why are you bringing up beautiful women on the internet that's what you told you showed me when we talked about japan the worst person you know is planning their japan 2026 trip it is true why why is that even she's saying because there's a trend of japan right now people want to go to japan yeah there's two trends on the internet that are big one is people think they're this is japan year and two people think they're chinese they're turning chinese do you know about this i send it to andrea jinn all the time because there's stuff that says you make me chinese there's like memes now okay that that whites think they're turning chinese you think i'm kidding it's all over the internet like i'm becoming chinese is a real thing and i when i want to say this to all of our fans and friends out there i'll be korean before i'll be chinese thank you thank you thank you means the world to me it means the world to me that i'm gonna i'd be i'd rather be a normal white than be chinese as well what are you looking at nothing your little sweet prints on your phone aren't you yeah you know i too much i think yeah it's too much scrolling what are your hours this week what do you mean doom scroll can i look yeah that was like 12 hours i think it's because of the lexa pro i think it's a lot what do i google again i'm not google but i'm at 11 hours today my average is seven hours a day six and a half not bad seriously daily average, mine says seven hours. It's bad, right? What's yours? Mine's only at five and a half this week. What's yours? Seven. Mine's seven, too. Yeah, seven seems normal. Right? Seven hours a day is crazy. Wait, why? Because you're constantly looking at your seven hours of it. It's insane. What's the usual average? Four hours? Oh, no. Well, Caveman had none. Problematic phone usage. Exceeding five. yeah for high risk for mental health issues depression anxiety reduced productivity here's good news got them all already oh you already have yeah so when you're when you already have anxiety and depression yeah yeah so big deal yeah also reduced productivity i don't believe that at all we're the most productive team i've ever met in my entire life all of us are on our phone all the time but anxiety and depression for sure for sure but i didn't build these machines they were given to us yes we are a subject of the machine you want to blame someone blame musk he didn't have anything to do no he didn't no blame jobs jobs yeah he's gone steve jobs that's right i was thinking about like the jobs i've had in the past so many bad yeah you know me like my coffee shop got job you could blame some of those you could blame some of your current issues on some of those past jobs. Yeah. But it's not worth it. Yeah. You know? Yeah. I'd begin to think that it's probably not healthy. I'm beginning to think the phone's not healthy. Every time I look, I should be reading a book, but I can't be shook. I'll get back on the ground. Yeah. Is this healthy just sitting there and doing nothing? Yeah. Just sitting there and just... I'm being real. I've been trying it. Being? Yeah, sometimes I'll wake up. I'll sit down. I have a little chair, a comfy chair. It is a little, little chair. It's a little, tiny chair. It's very comfortable, though. And I'll sit there for like half an hour and do nothing. No, that's very good for you. Yeah. Very good. It's collecting yourself. But here's the deal. But then tragedies occur in my mind. Give me one. Just like 9-11 or when my dad used to beat me. Just crazy things. You went from 9-11 to my dad used to beat me. That's still going through your head? Sometimes. I guess you never forgot. You never forget. Yeah. 12 years in retreat. We need to do something like this, a Buddhist retreat. The longest meditations. So Jet Sunma, a Tibetan Buddhist, spent 12 years in meditation retreat in cave in northern India. Similarly, extreme training in some Hindu traditions involved 12 years in a hermitage. Jet Li did that. Yeah. People go, where's Jet Li been? And he's been meditating since the last movie, I think. Dude, that's what he said. I was meditating for the last 15 years. Wow. That's what he said. Now I'm back. Like, back for what? You're fucking 1,000 years old now. No one wants to see you. It's believed in some Buddhist traditions that the Buddha himself meditated for 49 days under the body tree. 49? You couldn't get to 50, huh? Mm-mm. Just couldn't knock out one day to round out. Right. Yeah, I mean, that seems pretty weak. It's weak, dude. Decades in a lifetime. Tukdam. Some Tibetan monks are said to enter a state of tukdam, a dead but not dead state of deep meditation where the body does not decay for weeks after clinical death. They're doing what you do in the tiny chair. Yeah. I tukdam in the chair. Tukdam in the chair. I'll be tukdaming. Oh, so that guy's tukdam right now? Oh. Zoom in. Yeah. Got to give me a picture of a tukdam. I think that might be post-tukdam. You tukdam with your eyes open. That's better, I think. I'm hoping we took this dom off the screen at some point. Yeah. I mean, this is crazy. And by the way, we're not insulting these people. This is brilliant and amazing and beautiful. It just – I mean he looks uncomfortable. He does not look – he doesn't look comfortable. That sure doesn't look Tempur-Pedic. Yeah. Imagine how bad your ass would hurt. Oh, go to that picture on the left of it, of the one you have on right now, just the left. This is mummified in Tukdom. Wow. Mummified mummified. Can you zoom in? The Buddhists claim this guy's in Tukdom, but – Still. Yeah, yeah. Well, they think he's not dead still. Yeah, they claim that. They're collecting his social security. That's why. No, he's still getting the payments. He's alive. He's just in Tukdom right now. Yeah. Just cashing government checks. No, no, no. He's in there. He's there. Hims hair, dude. You've got to have hair. You've got to have hair. So much hair, man. If you don't, you know what I mean? No offense, Carlos. It happens. Yeah, it happens, dude. But Hims, thank God, what do they do? They offer convenient access to a range of prescription hair loss treatments with ingredients that work, including shoes, oral medication, serums, and sprays. Doctors' trusted ingredients like finasteride and minoxidil can stop further hair loss and we grow hair in as little as three to six months. Man, that's incredible. Think of HIMSS as your digital front door that gets you back to your old self with simple 100% online access to trusted treatments for real health concerns all in one place. And you know HIMSS. They do so much. 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So it's like how do you play a drunk guy? Because there's ways to do it that's like so sketchy that it doesn't feel real. I see. How do you play it? I think if you're an actual alcoholic and you're drunk, you wouldn't know the difference. So you should just be kind of like lethargic and normal. You would just be lower energy. yeah like let's do uh the trick is to pretend not to be drunk which is what drunks do right so here you go ready yeah yeah tell me yeah what's your name in the thing chang chang jimmy jimmy o chang just jimmy jimmy uh what's been going on at the shop today hey man no no already already too much no what do you mean you're acting all right what's been going on in the shop today, Jimmy? I didn't come into the shop today, man. Why didn't you go into the shop? I just, you know, I don't work every day, man. You don't work every day? We pay you to be here every day. My bad. I, you know, didn't, I woke up late, you know. I woke up late and I, yeah, it's my bad, man. Yeah, it's good. Is it bad or no? It's bad. Oh, then you do it. Okay, go ahead. Okay. Hey, Jimmy. why didn't you come into work today i don't know man i don't need to leave me alone see that's good but you're acting drunk no you're not i'm acting disinterested and over it you have to pick up pick here's what we have to do with you to do it again jimmy jim did you come into the did you go into the shop today yeah yeah man i was there i went in i can't man did any customers you're doing a little san diego i am No man or dude or bro Just give me Oh no man Okay Yeah What's going on? Why didn't you go to the shop today, Jim? I came into the shop, man Man again We got it No, I don't think we got it No, we got it Hold on Yeah You came into the So did you not see any customers today? Of course I saw customers I mean That's what I do You saw customers Yeah, man I'm sorry. How many customers did you see today? I don't know. Frank O'Neill came in. Mr. O'Neill came by. He's been dead for 13 years. Frank what? Frank O'Neill who owns O'Neill's Breaks. Yeah, but his wife, Lucila. Yeah, Lucia. Jimmy, what's going on? What do you mean? I'm fine, dude. I didn't ask if you were. I'm sorry, Larry. I'm fine. I'm fine, Larry. I need to talk to you in my office. All right. Okay. What's going on? Have you been drinking on the job? I had a drink. What did you have? I had a little drink. What did you have to drink? A beer. How many beers? One beer, dude. How big was the beer? Sorry for saying dude again. Sorry, guys. How big was the beer, Jimmy? Who are you talking to? How big was the beer? What? How big was the beer? It was a beer. You know, how big do beers get? That's good. That's very good. How big do beers get is great. Oh, yeah, yeah. We'll just play with it when we're there. But I like that. Oh, yeah. Because then it's not playing drunk. You're playing disinterested. I'm playing disinterested. And I like that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I think disinterest is what an alcoholic – Because when you watch it, you're like, they're playing drunk. I don't like that. Yeah, I don't like when they play drunk. So how do you do it? How do you do meth? That's another one. How do you do – let's do – Well, I've told you a long time ago. What do you mean? What do you mean? What do you mean? What do you mean? What do you mean? Can I tell you this? Can I tell you something right now? We go to the same guy. The sun came out. And I told him this morning. The sun came out. I'm not doing that anymore. All right? And let me the gazebo that you built. I don't feel like it. It was made out of wood. And that's fine. And that's fine. And that's fine. Because I'll lick it. And the bridge hasn't been ill. And I'm not going to swallow it ever again. And Luisa never came home. Ooh, but I want a hot dog. I want a hot dog. I'm hungry. Yeah, the peanut butter and jelly sandwich that you made last night. Let's get one. Let's get one right now. Let's get one. Yeah, let's eat it. That's pretty good. What do you think? That's good. All right. Let's do... Let's do it all. Let's do acid. Let's do fentanyl. Fentanyl. I don't know how to do fentanyl. One, two, three. So mean. What was it called? So mean. What was the Buddhist thing called? Yeah, yeah. Tucked him. Tucked him. Yeah. We just tucked him. I think you're going to play a great role. I think you should be... Well, they'll give me notes. You know what I mean? But that's the only thing that I'm a little nervous about because it's like... Well, have you read the scripts? Mm-hmm. So you know. You're ahead of the game. I'm ahead of the game. Yeah, yeah. I haven't memorized the lines yet, but it'll be fine. It'll be fine. Yeah. Well, be real. Have you ever memorized lines? Yeah, of course I've memorized lines. For all the things I've done, I've memorized lines. Okay. Oh, you think when I'm on Sex and the City, I'm just making it up? No, they're like, you have to say it word for word. So they wrote those things that you wrote? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I memorized them days before. That's what I'm saying. You do days? Yeah. I don't do that, yeah. You do it on spot? I do it the morning of. I don't know how that's possible. Yeah, I get in the trailer and I just do it. Yes, you know, John Cho does that. I saw him do that once. I'll read it. Yeah. I'll read it before, and then I'll memorize the sides that day. yeah i have to do it the night because if i ingest it prior to that i'm i get i don't it gets two scrambled eggs in my mind so if i read it i understand what the scene is yeah and then in my trailer or whatever i'll just i'll get the lines then yeah and take by take if it's a huge piece if it was like a thing we did sometimes on i'm dying in period i'd have like a page and a half yeah of a monologue days before no no no the night before i just do chunks i divide it in chunks and I use a keyword to continue on my next chunk. Wow. And that keyword indicates what the next piece is. So I just kind of like, I don't like how you divide up an hour. You have 15, 15, 15, 15. Do you forget when you're there all the time? Yeah, yeah. It's okay. They've got to be patient. It's all, we're going to edit this. It's not fucking live. This is Birdman. Yeah. Like I couldn't, if they were like, we're going to do it one take, I'd be like, fire me. Fire me right now. Oh, right, right, right. I could never, fire me right now. Yeah. Shoot me on, shoot me. Let me die in the scene. Yeah. and also it's like you i sometimes i need another actor there to calm me down i i remember oliver hudson pulled up the pilot for spilling up together he had to pull me aside and goes you on your head it doesn matter you know i mean just say your line you know and and then it was fine yeah what it was fine Yeah What a nice thing for him to do Yeah It just like you allowed to make mistakes Say your line. Everything's fine. I want to say something obviously now that we're in the world of speaking about actors. This will be long after, but rest in peace to the great James Van Der Beek. Oh, my God. I can't even – you know what I hate? Rest in peace. I knew I worked on them before. I know. Yeah, and what a nice guy. He did Tiger Belly as a just, you know, what a nice guy. You didn't post a memorial picture. I didn't post anything because of the fact that I'm just, it bothers me. A lot that people do it? When they, you know, they have, I have photos with him, you know, that could go, you know, rest in peace, brother. And, you know, and I asked around, I go, why don't I not want to post it? Because when I see it, it bothers me. Right. Well, Hollywood does that. Well, it's a little performative, right? It's performative. Sometimes. I mean, look, it's a way to cope. So for some people, they want to put the picture up because it means something to them. They want to say, I had a relationship with this person I really loved. But for some people, it's a little performative. Like for some people, it's like you could go up to them after you saw them put that post. Later that night, you'd run into them and be like, hey, man, I'm really sorry about your friend James. They'd be like, James, what do you mean? Yeah. And you're like, Vanderbeek. And they go, oh, yes. Yeah, but what a bummer. You're like, some people you can tell it's baloney. And some people it's very real. But I get what you're saying. It's hard to post. He's just – he was an authentically nice person. He really was. Super easy to be with, very helpful on set. And, you know, it wasn't like super close to him. You know, we did a series together and then we would hang out a little bit after that before when he lived here in L.A. Yeah. And like I said, we podded together. but um you know what a loss and it's just super sad yeah it's a bummer it's a real bummer the good ones go because some people that are fucking fuck twads are still alive you know let's name it we'll put up a list right i'm not gonna put a list everyone knows what i'm talking about but it's like yeah there are people that yeah so it's like i don't know what does it mean life is precious life is short we should get screened he did talk about that so we'll do the body screening because he talked about it because he got he got diagnosed quite young what is he 46 or something i mean i mean yeah 48 i think i mean that's a young that's a terribly young death you know and the children he has so many children it's just they're just gonna be robbed of you know he had a lot of kids yeah he did they're at almost 2 million on their uh go fund me what do you mean the vanderbeek vanderbeek family has a go fund me the fans set up and they're almost at 2 mil oh wow yeah send me the go find me I will I will I don't want to make anything that would be misconstrued here but how much how much are you going to give oh you want to be real well you brought it up yeah yeah we've done this before and I'll be you want my honest you know well yeah yeah if you really want him to send it to you probably a grand And $1,000 American dollars. Yeah. So they wanted $1.5 and they got $2 million already. And I hope they get as much. Oh, they already exceeded it? Yeah, but I hope they... Nothing? Oh, so now you're not going to give anything? No. She wants some. A grand? I think the family deserves as much as they can for losing someone. Are you going to contribute? Dude. Someone gave $30,000. Wow. Anonymously. Who's anonymous? Anonymously, they gave $30,000? You know, you would. What? Never. Nope. I'll do it right now anonymously. 30 grand. No, not 30 grand. Not 30 grand. The point I was making, if you gave 30 grand, you would want people to know. You either then. You either, pal. That's rude that you wouldn't even say something like that. You'd want people to know. If I had 30 grand to give, I would do it anonymously. Don't raise your voice. And you have 30 grand to give and you could do it, but you would put your name up there. That's what I'm saying. The Dow. Anyway. Raise your hand if you agree he'd put his name up there. Go ahead. see yeah you would you know you would and here's why you're giving the money it's not it's not bad but you'd go hey i'll tell you why i wouldn't you see what can i can i can i um sure you know fight your case fight my case yeah okay you're not gonna i'm gonna bring it back to stardew valley okay as everything does everything life always does yeah okay good so in stardew valley there There is a character named Pam. Love Pam. We have a crush on Pam, right? Yeah. And he has a daughter named Penny. Okay. Pam is a guy. I thought that was a girl. It's a woman. Well, you said he has a daughter named Penny. She does. Got it. And she drives the truck. Okay. You know, go back to Pam. Yeah. Penny saw it. Pam could be both. You know, Pam is pretty. Okay. So. Who knows what that is? Right. So they live. Pam and Penny live in a trailer. Yes. That I can see by the photo. Okay. So they live in a trailer, right? They're at. Yeah. You know, what is this with trailers and redheads? We all grew up in trailers. Yeah, yeah. We do that. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. And because they have red hair, and I love you. Yes. So there is some – in the game, you can get rid of the trailer and build them a brand new house. Wow. Right? And you don't get any points for – don't do that with Penny. Don't do that with Penny. Okay. You don't get any points for building them a house. Yeah, but there is a little dialogue thing where – Okay. Okay. Somebody said – Don't get me hard, David. Is that Penny Bourne? Yeah, it's Penny Bourne. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's nuts. Because she is somebody that I do marry in the game. So you're in love with Penny. I love Penny, and that just got me like – You know what I mean? Anyway, dude, don't get me started with Penny. Wow. Oh, wow. Interesting. Anyway. Interesting. All right, let's move on from it. Can we move on from it? That's in your little chair at your reflection time. She'll make you cock-dum or whatever. So anyway, there's a thing in it where the carpenter goes to you, Robin. She goes, should I tell him that you gave him all this money to build it or should we just keep it anonymous? And I always choose anonymous because it's like – but you don't get any perks either way. Like what does it matter? But I always choose anonymous. So you think – Yes, I do. Garthew Valley penny. I'm sold. I'm sold on your – Because ethically I'm just like that. Yeah. Last year when I sent out my Special Olympics thing, Andrew done two grand anonymously. Yeah. And you didn't respond to the message. Yeah, because I don't respond to anything you sent. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But that's not a good case. Yeah. The only reason you knew it was me is because I gave a jokey name. Yeah, you said generous Gary or whatever. Yeah, and I would have done the same thing. You know what I mean? But only you know that. Sneaky Nakamura. Okay? So, I'll send you another. Yeah, I'll say whatever. You know what I mean? Sneaky Nakamura is so funny. Yeah, yeah, yeah. If your nickname would be Sneaky Nakamura. Yeah, I'll do Sneaky Nakamura, but my point is this. I would do it anonymously. So, I think you're wrong. Okay. Yeah, that's my defense. It's fine. I'm excited to see your name up there on the GoFundMe. Yeah. And you know, I will say this. I'm glad we never said anything about James on the show prior because people blame us all the time that when we talk about a celebrity, they pass away. We already did it, remember? Catherine O'Hara, I know. We did that. We spoke about her, and then weeks later, she died. No, that's not true. It is true. We've done it so many times on the show, and people bring it up. I guess the guy said we've done it. There's people that track how many times we've talked about people for some reason. Let's do an experiment right now. We'll throw out a name and just see. Willie Nelson's still alive. Yeah. yeah william shatner also alive 94 william shatner's a good one clint eastwood that's a good one if i was going to do a death poll yeah yeah you know i don't i don't wish death on any of these people but if you once you reach 90 don't you feel like you did it you really did it you lived a full imagine if you got to 90 and you're like i just don't know if i've lived a full life yeah 90 you did it 95 who's the oldest up there lee grant an actress turned 100 in 2026 oh 101 is eva marie saint yeah she's the girl in north by northwest oh my god and she won academy award for north by northwest right yeah she's 101 but she lives uh what is they so sad well everyone she knows is dead you know that's something my grandmother used to say she's like all my friends are dead you live to 90 all your friends are gone well and who can they talk to Yeah. Like, imagine a 97-year-old woman now going, what is going on? And everyone around her is like, 6'7", bitch. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like, fuck, I'd want to be out of here. Like, if that's the world, everyone's vaping. Yeah, but when I'm old, I'm going to talk to Neroi. Sorry? Neroi. Who's that? He's my robot. Oh, yeah, your little robot. Hello, I'm Neroi. Hello, Neroi. What's going on today? Can you stop jerking off, Bobby? I have to watch this all of the day. Yeah. But wouldn't I have an AI robot that talks to me all day? You're going to get it. It's doing backflips now, this fucking weirdo thing from robotics from Boston Dynamics. They can literally – they just did a complete – what do you call that in gymnastics when they do the turnover? There it is. Yeah. There it was. It just did it. Crazy. There it is. Doing a fucking backflip. Look at this. Yeah. And it's in slow motion. That's incredible. Look at this. Boston Dynamics, you said? Yeah, look at... Watch this. Ba-na-na-na. End of society. Right. Awesome. That's the end of society. Yeah. If it can backflip, it can fuck us up. It can, yeah. It's gonna learn to beat our ass. Is this the one where it fell? There's one where it falls. Yeah, that's funny. Yeah, that's what you get. Yeah. Thinking you're like us. Running on ice? Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Yeah. Pause it. It's two years away for perfection. Dude, how funny. Imagine he goes back with the other robots when they're down at night. Yeah. And they're like, we saw you fall. Yeah, yeah. And he's like, no, you didn't. He's like, yes, we did. You ate shit. La, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la. You suck. You suck. You suck. They're going to take you apart tomorrow. You know they're going to be so aware. So they're going to reach awareness where they know. What if it was falling on purpose to give us a false sense of security? Now you're really... Now, dude, now you're digging in. You're digging it. You think they were falling on purpose to trick humans into thinking they're still flawed, but they had the technology. They already know. They know. Gosh. Yeah. You're right. I can't wait for them to have fingers. What do you want those for? When I'm signed. Yeah, you mean just fingers. Gang robots. Yeah, you mean Illuminati. They're like, what's that, blood? What's that, blood? I used to grow mushrooms with my buddy in a Tupperware underneath his bed. We inoculated the spores and all that stuff. Is it the hallucination? Yeah, the magic mushroom. Imagine we just were doing shiitake. Nah. Just good old woodier mushrooms. Yeah, no, we grew mushrooms under his bed. It was amazing. We ordered the spores offline. Wow. It was back like new internet, where you dig to find out the web where you could buy illegal drugs. and we inoculated. How long did it take to grow it? I don't. My frame of reference would be bad. So a couple of weeks to a month or so, I don't really remember. Did it work? Yeah, they weren't that strong. I remember drying them out, and they just weren't that good. And we were probably already smoking weed and drinking, so you're like, maybe they are working. Who knew if they ever worked? Yeah, yeah. But I did mushrooms one time with my buddy Tyler. We went to a haunted house, and that was one of the just insanely stupid things, to go to a haunted house tripping balls. Yeah. It's not fun. You want to be relaxed when you're on mushrooms. I like going to a mall. On drugs, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Well, no more for you. Never again. Yeah, maybe. No, Bobby. Who knows? Robert? Yeah. You know, it's funny because I never wanted to go in public spaces when I was on drugs. That was so stupid. I never wanted to do that. What's that, dude? They have psychedelic simulators. For guys that are sitting at home, tripped out, they want to look at stuff on... Oh, let me see. Let me see one. It's like if you're sober, what it would be like to do mushrooms. That is so realistic. Oh, wow. That is. Wow. I think spiral and stuff. Yeah. Yeah, the movement of things is always what got me. That's why it was hard to go places. This is what it's like for me every day. I'm thinking about, we're thinking about getting another dog. That's fantastic. And let me tell you why. Why? She found a dog that is not in good shape, that has not a lot of years left. No. Get a new one. No, no, but listen. Get a brand new one. I said, wouldn't you rather help this dog and have its last few years be amazing other than sitting in a shelter or whatever? Can I have an argument against it? Yeah. Okay. So we did that. We have one named Remy. Yeah. Who I love. Like I love all my animals. Okay. So you told me on that. I'm in. All right. But I've had four years with Remy, right, where I could have had 15, 16 years with Remy. I thought you were going to be like, I thought he'd be dead by now. Yeah, and a year ago, the vet was like, you should really think about putting him down. And we can't do it. No, let life do it. Yeah, yeah. But Remy is like, like, dude, blind, spine twisted, like just fucked. Right. And it's so hard. But imagine how much better Remy's life is with you than it would be anywhere else. I know. We do give him a great laugh. See? nice treats everything think about that think all right maybe get one thank you well give me the argument why why you just gave it to me i just oh i did yeah because you love it and it's amazing and it's better off there than it is some fucking stupid i did we did save him because the shelters suck ass they're not fun they don't have they're amazing they were gonna kill remy by the way by the way the shelter for dogs is a retirement home for adults a hospice and you're just locked in a room fuck that yeah i want to die at my house i want to die free you know do do it do it right don't i think you don't you want to die in your own like in your own volition instead of in a hospital but let's your your current dog see if they get along we yeah you have to introduce them yeah and what if they don't get along um then you just keep one in one room and keep the other i don't know i don't think i don't know that's hard yeah it's hard but it's a risk you're willing to take yeah and if they don't get along then the the new dog you put it outside you open the door and you say, we'll see you when we see you. Yeah. Good luck out there. There are coyotes out there. No, I think we've got to give it a whirl because it's worth the – Where are you going to go? Where are we going to get it? Yeah. Yeah, there's a shelter up in the north valley. Do you ever go just randomly? I'll tell you why I don't go. Why? Because it makes me so fucking sad. Me too. So it gets me overwhelmed and I'm like, I can't save all this stuff and it just makes me feel sad and yucky. It gets me just fucked up. Yeah. The reason why I don't go is because every single animal I have is those visits where I'm like, let's just go check it out. And then you get one. Yeah, and you get one. Every single animal was like that. So eventually, like, we can't even go because I will take one home. That's what I mean. It makes me too sad to be like, well, what are you going to do? You got to fix all this stuff? Yeah. How hard? It's so hard. I know. Oh, God. Some of it's so sad. And you just want to. You try to justify it in your mind. It's like, well, we can, you know what I mean? get a bigger house. You'll change your entire life. Yeah, and it's too hard. Well, I'll say this. I'm excited. I'm excited for the springtime. Why? Why are you excited? Every day is springtime here. Because when spring has sprung, so does our love. Your love for what? You? It doesn't for me. My bad. You don't spring sprung? I had a spring front for you. No, no, no. All right. It dies for me. It's fall. Okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It turns into fall for me. But yeah, my love for you stays the same. Never changes. Good. Yeah, it's deep but shallow. At the same time, it's a combo. It's a combo deal. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's because you have a tiny vaginal canal. That's rude. Everything feels deep for you. Thank you for being a bad friend. Yeah, woo, yeah, woo, yeah, woo, yeah.