Once Upon a Witchlight | Ep. 68 | Performance of a Lifetime

Welcome to Legend of Avantris. I am Grico Grimgrin and you are listening to Once Upon a Witch Life. Once upon a time, a carnival of friends found themselves lost in the Feywild. They arrived there through fate or fortune overburdened by promises made and deals brokered. It is here in the Feywild that they find themselves, deep within the lands of yawn on the highest peaks of the highest mountain, as they prepare to perform for the hag known as Bitter End. Their souls ledden with the weight of countless unbreakable packs, to reunite a woman and a warhorse, to find a missing brother, to return a snake-son to a snake family, the promise to sabotage the theater on opening night, to free a goblin merchant from a curse destined to take his life, to reunite a lonely unicorn with her only love. And yet, with so much left to accomplish, they have already done so much. In yawn alone, they have mended a years-long feud between two warring factions, freed a troop of parotin performers from eternal toil, and returned an elven prince to the home where he belongs. With so much still before them, on this night, their minds are consumed with stage fright. Having just encountered the last member of the hourglass cuban, Carnival LaCru has been tasked to perform for the dame of unhappy endings herself, and though their time is running out, for tonight they must push their responsibilities aside and perform as if their lives depended on it, and with endolin in audience, they very well might. For in this moment, the only thing that matters is the sound of the applause. Applauses, applause, applause. You find yourselves here, backstage, in the theater of Motherhorn. Recently, having your audience with endolin, you, before you, realize that there is still so much left to do. And time is running out. You are unlimited time based on the requirements that the King of Hearts gave you. And there is still so much left to wrap up, so much here, specifically in Motherhorn, but you've only seen a small fraction of it in this moment. But you don't have time to think on that. You can hear the sounds of the hush fall over the crowd as everyone prepares for the performance to happen. You are all as unprepared as you could possibly be, having recently been handed the scripts by stage fright the goblet. Oh my god. The Duke. Thank you. Narcoleptic bugbear. Yeah, let's go. Harold Grickler. I'm really sorry, I kind of ruined your script, crummy, because I was like, oh, it will be so much more helpful if I cross out all the stuff you're not supposed to worry about, and it just makes it a visual mess. Does that mean that I have a lot of stuff to do? No, actually, you're kind of, you have the least. I know you're Y-Gorl over again. Yeah, I always write. It's me. But don't read forward. Don't read forward. Don't read forward. Don't touch it. Don't retouch it. You are performing this completely lies. I read those. You are completely lies. Yeah, scans it like. You're just like Connor. You are holy unprepared for this. You have been practically stitched into your costumes as the stage hands move this way and that, readying the stage before you. It's mere 30 minutes before the play is set to happen, stage fright hands you your scripts, and you are quickly forced to memorize your lines. And it is now in this moment that the hush falls over the crowd, and the play begins. Oh, God. Now in call it strings, a beautifully handwritten card that reads a mother horn production that dangles from the ceiling in front of the curtains. A second handwritten card falls and dangles in front of the first. It reads the Ruby Island players present. A third handwritten card falls down in front of the second that reads downfall the equivalent to 1899. The stage shifts and the backdrop becomes a sepia tone vista of turn of the century downfall. The croaking tower vaults skyward and the distance a solitary hill is crowned with a half constructed cathedral. The backdrop shifts again. The hill and the cathedral turn into a ramshackle little village at the base of the hill that now comes into view. The words, Montmorgaux fall into place in front of the three handwritten cards. The stage shifts again to the village rooftops, an un-prepresessing garret, and then slowly moves in to the garret window. Get solemn use, garret window. It's dusk. The lights change as soft yellow as the curtains move forward and you see, get solemn use. The silhouette of a disheveled bearded man slumped over ink and quill. In front of him books, papers, sketches, old portraits. Throughout the room strange and exotic furniture, a junkyard of experiences. In the corner a heavy iron contraption is covered in grimy bedclothes, an incongruous splash of life as a brightly colored bird hops inside its gilded cage. The bearded man, his head in his hands, weary eyes stare at the blank parchment staring back at him. The words, Lecruelon Rouge are written across the soft white parchment. Get solemn use. He hesitates. His attention is suddenly caught by the bird as it flaps its wings against the cage, expelling a deep breath. Get solemn use begins to write. Somehow you're able to see a close-up of the words written on the page. This story is about love. The man I loved is his, his. Get solemn use breaks off, a moment of anguish. Barely able to form the words he forces himself to write. The man I loved is dead. Get solemn use begins to weep dramatically before thrashing about in anguish, knocking a large paperweight to the floor with a loud crash. Wait, it wasn't a paperweight that caused the loud crash. No, it was the sound of the narcoleptic bugbear crashing through the ceiling above and landing on the floor at Get solemn use feels. Holy shit. Hey, Mr. Get solemn use, are you okay? You sound really sad. Someone die or something. Get solemn use lets out a gasp and clutches his pearls, a gasp at the audacity of the narcoleptic bugbear. A single tear streams down his face as he slowly turns to gaze longingly out the window. He's clearly lost in the memories of love. The narcoleptic bugbear, unaware of the toll his careless words have taken on Get solemn use continues to prattle on. All the while, Get solemn use continues to gaze longingly off into the distance. Maybe someone could die. You see, Mr. Get solemn use, the narcoleptic bugbear is trying to write a play for the mool on Rouge. Rogue. Oh, Rogue. It's hard for me to read this. But the narcoleptic bugbear thinks the narcoleptic bugbear has playwriters blog. Have you ever had playwriters blog before, Mr. Get solemn use? No. Yeah, the narcoleptic bugbear didn't think so. If only the narcoleptic bugbear knew a handsome man who had incredible talent for songwriting and suffered from a terribly depressing backstory that could fuel his art and lead to the creation of one of the best musicals of all time. Do you know anyone like that, Mr. Get solemn use? No. Yeah, the narcoleptic bugbear didn't think. The narcoleptic bugbear falls asleep at the end of his sentence, crashing into the table where Get solemn use had been moments ago. Writing the tale of his tragic backstory, the sounds of the tabular destruction pulls Get solemn use out of his depressing musings and rushes to the narcoleptic bugbear in an attempt to aid him. I may not have looked like I was listening to you while I was adrift in a mournful reverie, but I heard you, narcoleptic bugbear, I heard you. Get solemn use saunters across the room in thought, visions of success pushing aside his grief. He takes a glass of water and douses the narcoleptic bugbear with the liquid, waking him abruptly. The narcoleptic bugbear sputters and coughs as he is about to speak. Get solemn use moves towards the circular window, overlooking the Moulin Rogue in the city of Montmorgo and begins to speak. I do in fact know a handsome man with an incredible talent for songwriting that is fueled by the ever-growing pit of darkness inside of him that was left behind by the death of a man he loved. In other words, so that you can understand, he suffered from a terribly depressing backstory. I am that man, narcoleptic bugbear, and I will help you with this play for the Moulin Rogue, if only for Crameen. Get solemn use throws a sheet of parchment, a bottle of ink, and a feather quill at the narcoleptic bugbear, just as he is dozing off again, rousing him from sleep. The narcoleptic bugbear was no time and tapping the inked up quill to his tongue before jotting down every word that Get solemn use says. The La Cruelle Rouge was everything he ever loved. A den of debauchery, a lounge of lies, a saloon of sin, in fact. Frankly, it was a swindler's paradise. It's really a shame what they had done to the place, turned it into the Moulin Rogue, where once had been a palace of pleasure, now stands a theater on the slighless possier than milk. It makes me sick. In fact, I know that Crameen would encourage me to take their money in honor of both him and his memory. I'll need to take that money, of course, in the form of half up front and half due at the time of completion. We should make sure they throw in a writer's feed due at time of signing. Oh, and heck, Crameen would alligator roll in his grave if I didn't take him for at least 75% royalties. And you know what, for a good measure, I think we should add in a rush fee on the Academy, rushing through my grief to get this done. The narcoleptic bug-bear nods along while also nodding off in agreement. The two spend the rest of the evening scheming and dreaming. By morning, with a script in hand, the narcoleptic bug-bear arrives at the front doors of the Moulin Rogue. The narcoleptic bug-bear knocks in the door and begins to wait patiently. Ten minutes pass before he knocks again. Another ten minutes pass. Eventually, the narcoleptic bug-bear falls asleep against the door. Five hours pass for the narcoleptic bug-bear as he is caught in a dreamless sleep before the door finally opens. And Harold Grickler steps out of the doors and into the lights of the Moulin Rogue. So, baby, what a beautiful night for a lackluster performance. Anyone who is anyone in Monmorgoth will flock to the Moulin Rogue tonight for the new installment of Bryd Gertin. Very legally distinct, I got it cleared by my lawyers. This installment of the popular period drama was written by a new playwright, one that has never seen or read the source material. So you know it's extra legally distinct, and it is destined to be a hit. But at what cost? Stepping over the narcoleptic bug-bear's body, Harold Grickler stands before the Moulin Rogue and looks regretfully at the venue before him. I'm sorry, I'm sorry. Excuse the narcoleptic bug-bear, Mr. Grickler, but the narcoleptic bug-bear brought you the script you requested. You don't have to touch the narcoleptic bug-bear to take it, but you can't even... Give me that! The narcoleptic bug-bear holds out the script, catching Harold Grickler's attention. Harold grabs the script in motions to toss it into the wind before something catches his eye. He looks closely at the script and begins to read. His eyes well with tears as his mind reels back to a time when the middle class still existed. What cost? What cost? The year was the approximation of 1898, and a montage of scenes happens so that I don't have to write 50 pages for this play. Thank you, the Narare-Rare-Rare. I didn't catch that! Thank you! Oh my god! The narcoleptic bug-bear meets Gidtholomu for the first time in a scene that looks eerily similar to the way this play began. They work together to write a play that will stun the crowds of the LeCruel en Rouge. Their goal is to enter the Cruel en Rouge this very night and perform their play for the amethyst of the night, Crimin. And secure their rightful place as the playwrights for the theater. Arriving to the LeCruel en Rouge, they are immediately thrust into the violently vibrating crowd of people pleased to be peering upon such practice performers. Gidtholomu is earnest and young. He has no idea that in mere moments he will meet the love of his life. The gilded, the glamorous, the glitzy, Crimin. The amethyst of the night and the star of the LeCruel en Rouge. A hush falls over the crowd as Harold Grickler takes center stage. The spotlight's find their mark and he's illuminated as the crowd begins to whisper in excitement. He's small and green. From afar he may even appear to many as a small green child. But to those in the audience, he is known as the master of ceremonies, the rake of the Rouge, or even Daddy Grickler if you're nasty. Oh, and I am. He may be small, some may even call him short by goblin standards. Did I mention he's a goblin? Yes, he is a goblin and a small one at that. Much, much shorter than average. I want babies. Whoa, fuck. But what he lacks in height, he makes up foreign power and prestige. And as he raises his diminutive arms, the music begins to swell. As if summoned by Grickler himself, Krimine begins to descend from the ceiling. His suit and top hat completely bedazzled and shining and shimmering amethyst. I'm in this play. From among the crowd, Gid Tholomu watches in awe as Krimine dangles above the audience. Harold Grickler steps behind the curtains as Krimine takes center stage and performs a seductive rendition of amethyst Serge Gator's best friend. As the crowd, but especially Gid Tholomu, watches on in complete awe. A scream bursts out as Krimine begins to puke blood everywhere. I told him to get it! Oh my god, told him to get it! Is that gay? Oh my god, that's gay! Never see that being on TV! I'm sure you've never seen that! I am talking buckets of blood. His maw opens up and he practically fire hoses the entire theater with bloody vomit. Everyone in the audience screams and runs, fleeing from the sanguiness chdeluge. Somehow I just know that's the love of my life. Everyone, except for four people. Harold Grickler looks on in horror but continues to hide behind the curtain lest he gets stains on his vest. If he does not address the issue, then no one will know that Krimine is deathly ill, right? Right. The narcoleptic bugbear also remains in place, having fallen asleep due to the gentle lulling of the beautiful song being sung near moments before. Covered in blood and jolted violently awake by a pelting of platelets, the narcoleptic bugbear scans the crowd for Githolomu. No! What the? Get the holomu! Hey, hey, get the holomu! The narcoleptic bugbear is scared and covered in blood! Do you think Krimine is okay? The narcoleptic bugbear thinks he might be sick! Harold Grickler rushes from behind the curtains and dodges the blood like Neo from The Matrix. I've never seen The Matrix, so I'm not sure if that's how you spell Neo or not, but for the sake of my sanity, can we move past it please? Anyway, where were we? Oh yes, Harold rushes through the viscous delusion, slides into place in front of the narcoleptic bugbear. Look at me, you ugly smelly fuck! Sick! Krimine's sick? How dare you say such a fucking thing! Open your eyes, you fool! She's clearly suffering from poop poisoning and nothing more, which is very different from sick. Trust me, I know! Obviously she ate some questions from Hotel Spooky, then her twin sister wished she'd have one. I should also employ, by the way, but she doesn't exist. We'll caution her not to consume! You dare to suggest you smell a pathetic piece of shit who's not as tall as you think you are, and are very undesirable. You think you suggest I would employ a critically ill performer? You believe me to be the type to sap their energy, steal the few sort of months that they have left to live, so that I make puppet them about this place for my own monetary gain at the pleasure of a duke? You dare to suggest that I skim off the top of their wages, bet it all on snail races, and lose it and fall into a drunken stupor off of gin and whiskey sours? I'm gonna take it easy, thank you, those gramps! You fucking wudists! Hello, duke! Oh, I do love your crimson suit. How dare you look this evening? So dare for it! As you can see, poor Kramine is a small case of food poisoning. We're still coming out! And fortunately, for everyone involved, the only thing to kill him is sexual intercourse. I know how to do it. It's true. The fruit poison needs to get fucked out of the soup. Whatever am I gonna do to help poor Kramine? The duke stops in front of Gricler and uses a lace hanky to wipe the space clean of a layer of blood. This man is clearly a weasley guy. I mean, creepy as creep can be. And honestly, I bet the tabaxi playing the duke is creepy too. What's the narrow reader's name? Fuck, I'm so tired of this. He probably seduces toilets in his spare time and has an unusual obsession with cereal. If an earth human were to play the tabaxi that is playing the duke in this play, I bet that earth human would be Jason fucking Schwartzman. Anyway, high digress. Talking the hanky into his coat pocket, it's easy to see that the suit had been up until recently a pale blue. He ignores most of what Gricler says and looks to be about to give him the old one-two, if you know what I mean, when he hears the part about sexual intercourse. Being a duke, he is clearly a sex pest, so this fizzles his anger out right away. He only came here in hopes of some sexy time with Kramine, so what's the little blood between lovers, right? And Gricler swears it's just food poisoning, so nothing a good role in the hay won't fix. Hmmmm... Kramine. You are looking so moist and beautiful today. I feel the urge to lick my lips while speaking to you. Oh fuck. No, that's the actual way of course. But because my lips are dry, the more I lick them the more dry they get. I can promise you, however, that that will not be the case the more that I lick you. Mwah ha ha ha ha ha. Mwah ha ha ha ha. Mwah ha ha ha ha. What? I'm actually not even seeing it. No, you're on the stage. You've been deposited on the stage and you're just violently bobbing everywhere? Mwah ha ha ha ha. Why don't we fuck around this? It's your turn, Gricler. Oh, oh, oh, oh. What the fuck? Oh, Duke! Oh, you? Oh, you are so funny and rich and good-looking. You are so funny and rich and could perhaps save my establishment and you are not creepy at all. Yes, that's correct. Uh, Krimine! Krimine, stand up. Make yourself presentable. You're fucking disgusting. Krimine! Daddy, I don't think I'm gonna be okay. Oh, yeah. Mwah ha ha ha ha ha. Mwah ha ha ha ha. Surely it is not tuberculosis, which is quite common at this equivalent of a type. I don't know what I need to show you. I almost died because I look up and I see, I think we should kill Derek. I almost died. But don't mind. Don't mind. Krimine, do you, Duke? Do you, Duke? Yes. Oh, Duke. Thank you. Oh. Krimine, wearing not vomiting so violently, would laugh alongside your coquettish. Your coquettish? Coquettish? Coquit-o-e-tis? Flirting. Oh, no. Did you hear that? The roof is clearly struggling until the weight of the, uh, a roof, under the roof, probably. Oh. This is terrible. How can Krimine possibly have disgusting and vile sexual intercourse that would violate all of the laws of God and man with you if the cruel enrages falling apart? Oh. Oh, if only we were to receive a huge sum of money from a generous, who wrote generous, bean factor, generous benefactor, or who could it be which could be used to repair this place and make it safe enough for, for what? For, for, for, for, for really nasty sex. Like the nasty shit that you see and you feel bad about her afterwards. When you feel nothing but shame and you think God's actually calling my life the words. What a shame if we did not get such huge sums of money. I know what you're thinking. I get it. Why would the writer make this choice? It's vulgar. It's disgusting. It's offensive. Why isn't Krimine playing Harold Grickler? They are the same person. That's what I'm saying. And yeah, you're not wrong. But Harold Kremler didn't have the same ring to it and quite frankly I just wanted to write the Kriminex Gideon fanfic of my dreams. Again. Naturally. Again, I don't have all day to write this so can we please move past this? It's like Mio all over again. Fuck! It is at this moment that Gideon Tholomew jumps onto the stage and begins kissing Krimine. There is no way to make this not gross. I mean. Oh my god. It's like a spoon underneath a faucet. Oh my god. I mean. I mean. I mean. I mean. I mean. I mean. I mean. I mean. I mean. I mean. I mean. I mean. I mean. I mean. I mean. A lot of sex. A lot of sex. A lot of sex. A lot of sex. A lot of sex. A lot of sex. A lot of sex. A lot of sex. A lot of sex. A lot of sex. A lot of sex. A lot of sex. A lot of sex. A lot of sex. A lot of sex. A lot of sex. A lot of sex. A lot of sex. A lot of sex. A lot of sex. A lot of sex. A lot of sex. A lot of sex. A lot of sex. A lot of sex. A lot of sex. A lot of sex. A lot of sex. A lot of sex. A lot of sex. Tholomu kisses Krimine, he leans him back into a low dip, the kind that you read about in romances written in the 80s and 90s. Krimine holds his top hat in place while they smooch. They're smooching. Oh that's fine, I'll deal with it, just keep going. Grickler is pissed. He's going from green to red with anger. I'm gonna say it later. Baby, baby, baby, baby, baby. What is this super handsome, incredibly buff, clearly dirt poor man during kissing Krimine, and in front of the Duke, right when he was clearly reaching into his pocketbook for a blink check. Oh that's making me mad. His anger is swelling as it tries to think of a way to save this situation. He looks to the Duke and honestly, the Duke kinda looks into it. I mean this guy is clearly freaky. He's rummaging around vigorously in his pocket for his pocketbook while licking his lips lustfully. Allow me to put a comfortable chin. At least I hope he is rummaging around in his pocket for his pocketbook. It's so incredibly uncomfortable that the narcoleptic bug there has a nervous erection. Don't worry over here guys, just keep looking at the Duke and look at what's gone on there, ignore the narcoleptic bug there please. Erection aside, the uncomfortability does not stop him from having an epiphany. This is how they conceal the deal on their play. The narcoleptic bug bear begins to clap. Yay, oh boy, the narcoleptic bug bear will love to stand up but instead, yay, good show, get the lume and cremine. Look how shocked they are. Your performance was so good that even the narcoleptic bug. The narcoleptic bug bear falls asleep mid-sentence. Everyone stands in stunned silence but get the lume realizes what needs to be done and jumps in hoddish. Whatever the narcoleptic bug bear said, cremine I didn't just meet this very moment and fall head over heels in love with each other at the first sight or nothing, we've been practicing a play for the La Cruelant Rouge that is gonna put this place on the maps. See the narcoleptic bug bear has the script in his sweaty hairy hands that were previously otherwise occupied. Take it and read it for yourselves. Cremine is sent to be the star and I'm the hot romantic poet that sweeps him off his feet and steals him away from the perverted lick lippin' duke that seems very comfortable in that chair he's found himself in. He's not in the chair yet. Maybe he doesn't have to leave. This kiss is how we end the show and nothing more. The duke jumps in. I would like to jump in. Excuse me but this seems ridiculous. If this place is falling apart, how do you expect to put it on the play? No, no, no, no, no. Let me pay for the repairs. And then I will sexy time Cremine to help as the gods invented it. I don't have time for a play, only time to play, if you know what I mean. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. He laughs and winks in a way that only a pervert can laugh and wink as he licks his lips up at Cremine and reaches out his hands to him. I'm spent. I don't have stage blood. Oh, but duke, as much as I desire to coy this no interruptus with you is what I mean. I simply cannot for iron or teased, but amuse. I'm a doll of drama. The amethyst of the night, as you surely know, I would never want to leave you dissatisfied, which is why I must tell you that for you to have me, to have me. Oh, that's me. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. Oh, baby, oh, oh, oh. I must come. Welcome to you after the performance of my life, which of course must be performed in a perfectly renovated theater. And only then will you truly be able to experience Kremien. And then that way only one of you will be horribly disappointed. The Duke does not look convinced, but as Kremien turns around, he notices a small peekage of crack cleavage from just above Kremien's pants. And she is entranced. Oh. That's under the tape. I hate it so much. I'm so uncomfortable. Oh, Kremien, you little minx. You do know how to tempt a man. I do, I do. I will do it. All the money the LaCruelan Rouge could ask for in exchange for Kremien. Be mine, and all I have is yours. I do good, daddy. Oh, baby! Oh, you did good little flippery bird or something. Little work on that. Imagine Jason Schwarzman doing and saying that shit. Fucking gross, man. Fuck you, Jason Schwarzman. Anyway. Wonderful. I'm on page seven of this script, so let's cool ladies montage this. Harold Grickler is over the moon. Whoa, I'm doing that Scooby-Doo entering a Scooby-Snack thing. And quietly, softly floating down. Oh, I need to see it. They did it. They have the money to save the LaCruelan Rouge, and he is even getting a better than average play out of it. Kremien, clearly in love with Gid Tholomu, only pukes blood every few days now, so that's probably not something to worry about in the long term. The narcoleptic bugbear keeps getting confused between narcolepsy and kleptomania, and can't seem to decide between sleeping and stealing. All the while, the Duke is blissfully unaware that Kremien only has eyes for Gid Tholomu. They spend weeks preparing the play, and all of them are proud of what they've accomplished. Gid Tholomu and Kremien have successfully hidden their love affair from only the Duke. Literally everyone else can easily see what's happening, and it's kind of sad, even when you consider how icky the Duke is. Regardless, opening night has arrived. The crowd is packed, and everyone is filled to the brim with excitement. The cast is filled to the brim with nerves, and the lanterns are filled to the brim with sperm, a seddy. It's whale oil, you filthy animals. Get your heads out of the gutter. I bring up the lanterns because they begin to dim, signaling to the audience to take their seats. The show is about to begin. But not without a little bit of drama first. The Duke, who should be sitting creepily in box three, has decided to make a last minute detour backstage to ask Kremien to marry him. With roses in hand, he licks his lips dryly and rounds the corner to the back of the stage to dun dun dun. Find Kremien and get Tholomu kissing and heavy petting. Oh my god. I'm talking. Take your maize for that grab in my head. I'm talking hands under the waistcoat kind of petting. They break apart and mumble that they were just practicing for the show, but the Duke knows. The Duke is no longer tricked by their lies. He can smell the alchemy in the air. The burning spermaceti thickens the air with the smell of Pennsylvania, and he is incensed. You harlot, you tart, you trollop. You've played with the last part of my body. You will ever get your hands on. Who, me? My heart. You have played with my heart for the last time, and you, you rugged, handsome, beautifully poetic slice of a man cake. Kremien belongs to me, and you shall not have her if it's the last thing I do. Griggler, get in here immediately, and I, all right, shut this place down. Oh yes, my dookie, wookie, what is Vex you so? Oh, tell Iku, Gwikku, what has made Daddy Dookie so upset and wedding. The dookie, wookie, I'll be my widow. What the hell, my widow, Gwikku, is so upset. Yes, I know my widow, Giddy. Is he normal in life? Oh, baby. Griggler, Daddy Dookie is angry. Oh, the kitten has made Daddy Dookie very angry. I'm gonna be sick. Kremien thinks he can take my money, my theater, and put me in the chewy chair. I will not have that, Griggler. What do you intend to do about this situation? Dookie is getting where we, where we angry, and you know what happens when Dookie gets angry. All right, all right, all right, don't worry. Look, the narcolepsy bugbear will sit in the chewies. Everybody calm down, why is this not enough? Small. Have you been back there the whole time? I want Gid's solemn you removed from the play. I will be the love interest in the play, and when it is over, Kremien will be mine. Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha. Fellows, fellows, please, there's enough of me to go around. Oh, no, I mean, no, no, but I love him. Daddy, please. Oh, little, oh, boo boo tits. You know, Daddy. Daddy Gritler hates to see this frown on your face. I'm sorry, Grim-E-Hean, but oh, you know this is the way it has to be. No. For the La-Cru-Lan Rouge, we must all play our part. Oh. You belong to the Duke. Not this penniless sex icon. No matter how fat his horn may be. Or how well he crates him. You must choose money over love. It is the way it must be done. I have so much gambling debt, and I owe the IRS so much in back taxes. I need this, please Grim-E, please, for me. Actually, that makes a lot of sense, Harold. Sorry again, but money calls. You must understand. What? Of course I don't understand. I did all this for you. I love you, Grim-E. I love you and only you. And I'll throw all this away and just spend one more night with you. I would sing an off-key version of my song in front of a live studio audience just to prove to you that I love you. Ew, that would be so cringey. Please don't. But if you somehow could come in and do a lot of money, so I could have both money and a trophy husband, that would work for me. Enough of this. I have won. Mwaha. Mwaha. Mwaha. Mwaha. Mwaha. Mwaha. Mwaha. Mwaha. Mwaha. Mwaha. Mwaha. Mwaha. Mwaha. Mwaha. Mwaha. Mwaha. Mwaha. Mwaha. Mwaha. Mwaha. Mwaha. Mwaha. Mwaha. Mwaha. Mwaha. Though he did not admit it, Krimine was suffering from a broken heart. Do you need a second? I'm too dicky-dicky. I'm so sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. And so they went to the stage. Though he did not admit it, Krimine was suffering from a broken heart, and he used it to fuel his performance. Money was more important than Gidtholomu, and it always would be. But that didn't lessen the sting of his loss. The Duke would never be to Krimine what Gid was. The Duke smelled of Mountain Dew and frosted flakes. His lips were always dry and his hands strangely moist. But Krimine knew he must perform like tonight were his last, because it was his last. As the final scene began, Gid rushed the stage and confessed his love. For the sake of brevity, I won't make you guys roleplay this, but he thwarted the Duke in the last moments of the play and performed an off-key rendition of our song, live in front of a studio audience. Krimine and Gid kissed super-passionately. Krimine and Gid kissed super-passionately, and for a little too long, the audience started to feel uncomfortable, and the narcoleptic bugbear got another nervous erection while sitting in the chewy chair. This is crazy. Don't look over here. Stop looking at me. No one noticed the erection, though, because Krimine literally dies right now. Gid's eyes is coming to an end, and blood starts pouring out of his mouth. None the firehose- well, none the firehose way from before, but in a dainty, I'm too beautiful to ugly cry, let alone ugly die kind of way. Gid's thomelomu clutches him to his chest and holds him tightly, begging the universe not to take him away from him, mere moments after they have finally agreed to spend the rest of their lives together, whether rich or poor. We were so close. I'm afraid. It is in this moment, upon saying these words, that Krimine speaks. It is but a whisper and a room of chaos, and the words are meant for Gid's thomelomu's ears alone. He says, What's your sweet nothing? My time prep. I didn't tell you something. Say it, Krimine, I'll change these words for the rest of my life. I never agreed to any of that. What? Money's before honey. And then he dies. Help, Krimine! Time speeds up during a montage of Gid's thomelomu crying over Krimine and the love they lost before he finds ourselves outside the Moulin Rogue once again. Harold Grickler reads the final line of the play that Gid's thomelomu and the narcoleptic bugbear had written for the theater. The story of Krimine, the story of love. The story of a time when the middle class still existed. A lone tear falls upon the page and smears the final word. Finn. F. I. N. As Harold Grickler tosses the script into the wind and looks down at the narcoleptic bugbear asleep on the ground at his feet. That play is fucking trash, you dumbass! You didn't give anyone a shit about real human emotion anymore? Come back when you have some couch slop to show me. I couldn't even understand what the fuck was going on when I was scrolling on my phone! Something can perform at 300% speed on Patrons multi-tags! It's called distracted watching! The inventors are never gonna green-write this shit, you fucking idiot! Who's not at all is just dick you up! An original story. Oh, psh, now bring me a sequel to a beloved franchise on a lazy remake. And now we're talking, baby! But I just got the rights to a beloved children's board game. Rupin Louis, the movie! Oh, baby! We're gonna be rich! We're gonna be rich! The end. The curtains close, and the cast is able to make their way towards the front of the stage to a rip-roaring applause. Everyone is standing on their feet, and at the very back of the auditorium, you can see leaning forward over the banister of her lone balcony. Bitter end looks down at you. A slight smile on her face. The closest to a smile that you've seen from this woman since you've met her. Genuine joy at the tragedy of the LeCruelon Rue. The applause dies down. You have been showered in flowers. You see that some people have popped bubbly, and they're celebrating over this play. This has struck a chord with so many of the people here. A lot of the darkling, so it's sat towards the front of the stage. You notice them throughout the play perpetually looking back at Bitter End's mannerisms and at her enjoyment to see whether they were allowed to enjoy this. After about midway through, she was so pleased with this performance that they stopped looking for her permission to enjoy the play. By now, they are all cutting loose a little bit and showering you in accolades. You see towards the back a bunch of mask goblins running around and resetting the stage and slowly ushering people out. You realize that this moment of adoration is only going to last so long as eventually a couple of the goblins start ushering you behind the curtains as it closes in front of you. You see the goblins gobbling and muffles the sounds of the people in the amphitheater. You are able to take a couple of moments to catch your breath. Having just performed this hour-long play for a room full of strangers, you are overwhelmed. Some of the goblins make their way towards you and hand over cups of water. One of them eventually stops and, great job! That was... wow! Wow! You must be famous back where you're from! Just wow! Thanks! Oh yeah, thank you. Was that all food safe? Like food coloring? What? All that blood I puked up? That was yours! Stage Hand cast spells to make everything feel more realistic. Oh, god. That was a lot of blood crummy. My gum's great! Are you okay? Oh my god! How'd it feel so good? You look okay. Wait a minute, how did you give Thor back a bone? Oh, we didn't do that! That was all you! Oh, man! Wait, Daws, which one of us wrote that? Oh yeah! Who like, die genetically and canonically would actually... Oh, that was no mean! That was no mean! That was really sick! Stage Hand wrote that! Oh, gosh! Back and forth, you provided a few notes and mostly it was just the steves, yes. Yeah, we wrote all those steves. With the help of Brody Snake as Snake, of course. Oh, Brody Snake as Snake wrote this? Brody! Who's that? We know that guy, hey! You know Brody? Yeah! Snake as Snake? We know what you showed us. We know his parents. Well, after you showed up before you came back. We haven't met Brody, but we know his parents. We sent out invitations to the Snake family in the hopes that Brody's parents would make their way out for opening night. It's going to be Brody's first play all by himself! Oh my god! He's been working really hard on that screenplay. After all these handful of things. After all these hand-filled of things. The use of the phrase, dookie-diggie. Please don't say that again! Let's just pretend that never happened, that none of us wrote that. Um, guys, I know that I was supposed to meet up with this Snake guy and help him out, but I think he's like a lost cause. He sounds like a real fucking pervert. Wait, who? Brody Snake as Snake? What's helping him as one of our sidequests? Why does he sound like a pervert, man? I'm not writing all that shit! No, I'm just saying. He helped to pair this one down. Stagehand really, their stage fright really got out of hand on this one. No, stage fright has that freaky goblin, right? No, I feel like the Snake guy's involved. He's complicit in all this. Oh, he's for sure complicit. Look, I remember being in my early twenties. I feel like that's something that I could write when I was that young. Put yourself back, Lead Rico. I know it's been a long time, but if you can, try to remember. I don't know what I mean. I got it back. I was a bit of a lousy about it, you know? I was a little bit of a troublemaker, but I don't write that kind of shit. Well, if you do want to meet Brody, you'll have an opportunity and sometime within the next half hour or so. I'm not taking you downstairs. What you did tonight was just spectacular, so we're going to take you to the performers room. Brody's most likely in there. Wait, it's kind of like a performance lounge sort of deal? It's the quarters where all the best performers get to lounge and eat green M&M's. Oh, you have food? We've mixed them around in M&M before. Are they peanut M&M's? They're these tiny little Caucasian rappers. What? No, it's the hot jones. This is the hot jones. I don't want to kill any more people. I don't want to catch too much hot jones unwillingly. We put them in a bowl and we dye them all green. Oh, is that food safe? They're brothers. The Slim Jim Shadys, we turn into these long meat tubes that you can eat. I'm not getting the says of anything here's food safe. I think it's very food unsafe. Yeah, just like the fortress of a really gross evil Haggoss fires. Yeah. I mean, I'm happy to go back and talk to, you know, Snake S. Snake Jr. I guess Brody is his real name, but his chosen name. I got to know this that bitter and loved it. I've never seen her react to something like that before. That's good. Wow. You're never going to be able to leave Motherhorn now. That's so exciting. What? What was that mean? What? You think the bitter end is going to let you leave Motherhorn after performance like that? She would never get rid of performers like you. You're going to be stuck here with us forever. That's so great, isn't it? Maybe you'll even get your... We love to perform. Maybe you'll even get your own mask. What does that mean? Like me. Oh, that sounds like a lot of swell, eh, fellas? Sure. I never need to see my daughter again. Never need to see her. That's how I felt when I left my family behind. Do you have any kids? Oh, no. Just the love of my life and my aging mother. Oh, well, I'm sure they died peacefully without me. But we should really get you moving. They've got to clean up the backstage and change out the props. We've got a new performance in four hours. Did the love of your life have any reliable source of income? No. Oh, oh, you were the sole betterment? But I'm sure they're going to figure it out. How long has it been? If you don't mind, tour back and ask, eh? I mean, time's different here. Oh. But I've been here about 50, 60 years now. Oh, wow! Wow. I'm at the Tom Flaws real quick. Yeah. I'm fantastic with iambic pentameter, though, so Bitter End's never going to let me go. Mr. Grumby, don't let this happen. Mr. Grumby, please, whatever you do, do whatever you want. Oh, really? It means that we're basically best friends now. Yeah, no, no, that'll be just fine. You and the rest of us in the performers' quarters, I can't wait to get you there. I can't wait to go. We'll lock the door and then we'll stay there for as long as she requires. Slurp down green m&m's. Yep. Oh, that's right. I've moved on to Slim Jim Shadys. I really like the way they give me acid reflux. Oh, wow. I might be allergic. Oh, boy, oh, boy. We love Gluckius. The Ruby Island players does it again, boys. It's true, but... Just another hit success. We should get out of the way of the crew, and I'm gonna... Well, we'll go ahead and we'll take a turn over this way, over stage left. We'll pass through over the winch that brings up the larger props, but don't worry, you're not going downstairs. It'll be really quickly. We're gonna pass the prop storage room unless you have any reason that you think you need to go in there. And then I'll get you straight to the dressing room so we can get you changed out of these outfits and into something more comfortable. Maybe even a mask. Oh. If you want one. Oh, no, we're fine for now. Right, lads? Yeah, yeah, yeah. There's plenty of time. They'll all have a turn of the day to get to the set. Right, a sleeve apnea. He already wears a mask. All right, well, if you'll follow me, I'm gonna take you to your future here at Motherhorn. Oh, good. We've already made a deal, so we're great with it. Let's go. Great job. Lead the way. Lead the way. We'll follow you. All right, and the goblin begins to make their way downstage left, and you walk over the large platform that clearly descends beneath the stage down to the room that you, the prop workshop that you remember ascending from when you made your way up to the auditorium to perform. And you're able to step over it. You can hear the sounds from down below coming up. The amount of people that seem to be so excited about what's happened here, whether it's because they're excited for you to be joining the cast and crew here, or whether they're excited that Bitter End has someone or an entire group of people to focus her eye on and that they finally get a moment's respite from her gaze. Oh. As you make your way down the hall, you pass what is very clearly the prop storage room. You see a couple of masked goblins make their way out, very clearly moving some of the props in that had been used on the stage, as well as throwing away some that had the chewy chairs completely sticky and broken. And you can see that they're preparing to throw that away, and you hear them mention something about having to create a new one. Wait, are we? Oh, sorry, shit. I thought I was listening to the midnight accident. That's real scary. Oh, Sony just copies Truckers, fellas. Oh, no! Oh, boy. And you round yet another corner. Before you see a doorway in front of you, the goblin opens the door. What is this music? Ooh. It's working for me. I mean, I do like it. You know, we're gonna leave it. That's fine. It's part of my playlist. Amazing. It's very ominous. It feels like an ominous moment. It's very cool. I like it. The goblin opens the door and ushers you in, and the door shuts behind you, and you are able to relax into the quiet of this space. First, it feels like you are the only people here. To look around, resting against the walls of the circular chamber are three dressing tables, each one with a mirror atop it. The mirrors are bordered by tiny balls of bright golden light. An ornate high-backed chair on clawed feet sits before each table. Slumped in one of the chairs is a bugbear, dressed as a green dragon from the neck down. On the floor nearby are the fake dragon head and tail that complete the costume. This bugbear looks all the more unusual because he casts no shadow in this room. Though the lights in front of him as he's staring into this mirror would direct the shadow behind him. You should see it in this dragon costume, climbing the wall behind him. You see your shadows elongated across the floor of this room. But he has none, very similar to Gleam. He does not seem to notice you as he walks in. You see that he has a makeup kit in front of him as he's playing with some of the pieces and lining his eyes, adding a little bit of rouge to his cheeks, looking into the mirror. You see that he smiles and expresses different emotions. He gets frustrated and gets up and moves to one of the other stations, looks into this mirror and attempts all of the same things, yet again getting frustrated before moving to the third. Paying you absolutely no mind as he moves back and forth between these three mirrors, seemingly not getting the reaction from the mirror that he's expecting. Oh my gosh, this is another bugbear! Well, shit me fucking! Is that Hurley? Who was it, Burley? You see as he stops for a minute, and he looks in the mirror, he moves to the side so that the mirror is angled back to where you just entered. Slowly turns his head. Who are you? Well, I would speak, Rico! We used to work together, remember? No. How do you know my name? Your twin brother's looking everywhere. We've been looking for you. Yeah. Wait a minute. Hey, it's me, it's Rico! Remember? We used to shout out, I'm called a servant of! Oh, don't you remember when we were a bunch of grease-grooves, callies and everything? I do remember you, you hated me. Oh! What? No! Wait a minute! That didn't happen! So did you, you hated me too. Stormic? Yeah, you drunk. Have you two met? I can't remember exactly when we met you in the order of operation. Stormic has started to think that you all potentially tried to replace Stormic! No, no, no, no, no, man! These guys were connies at the Wishlack carnival. You were a connie at Carnival La Cru, two totally different carnivals. Yeah, and it was his brother who dragged you away into the Feywild. Both of them had strikes. That proves it, guys. So, Torbac is taking away and tor- torture for some undetermined period of time. And next to you, there's another Torbac and they've done a bugbear in the crew? No, he was never in the crew. I mean, in fact, he's the one who dragged you away. So if you've got to be mad at anybody, you may be mad at him. His brother dragged Torbac away into his face. I thought that he took him at the same time, but no, no, no. He was already missing. He would probably drunk off your ass, you know, at the end of the guy's night, and physically Andy wasn't here for that part. But anyway, his twin brother took you away with Mr. Witch and Mr. Wild. That's what you probably don't remember on account of all the brain-shocking they did. Oh, yeah, that's probably what he is. I'm sorry to make you relive that on account of seeing his face. No, no, don't worry. Just three, four hours ago, he relived that pain for decades. That's right. Oh, that's right, Mr. Oh, that's so wild. That was a trip. Well, um, oh, hurly. Yep. Oh, good job. I couldn't remember. It was hurly, right? Yep. No, burly. I thought we met hurly. Burly is my brother. Oh, oh, hurly. This is hurly. It's very possible the DM has mixed these names up on multiple occasions within this campaign. Why don't we just call you early and then we won't have to worry whether there's a B or an H? I would hate that. I would just look up D and E beyond. I'm looking at the name right now and it's with a H. I'm looking at it right now. Hurly the bugbear, the bugbear named Hurly. We met burly. See, I know these. I'm working with them. Gee, I know. Hey, you know what they say? Just because you're both twin brothers, we won't be lagged. Just because your brother and I got on a little better, you know, doesn't mean I hated you. I don't have any room in meart for hate. That's true. Gregor doesn't hate. No. He only loves. You called me surly and short tempered. I hate. No, no, no. I love everyone except for that ding dong grumblingness around. You called me surly and short tempered. You said, well, if you could only be more like burly, then maybe everyone wouldn't hate you so much. You're misunderstanding. You're misunderstanding. Well, Gregor tends to mispronounce words. When he said you were surly, he just was mispronouncing your name. What about short tempered? I mean, we all have issues we need to work on. What about people wouldn't hate you? Did I really say that? It was a long time ago. If you were more like your brother, then people wouldn't hate you hurly. He was a young man back then. I was a younger like that. That must have been 20 years ago. It was a long time ago. Roll a persuasion check with advantage. 20 years ago, aye? With advantage. No, he also hates that grimble, grabble, grizzle, grabble. Oh, and he hates the long legs. Oh, and the long legs. That's who I truly hate. If you're not one of those little chisels around, I don't hate you, okay? Allow me to check because I did just get the first roll of the natural 20. Oh! A persuasion. That would be a 22. That was so close. Come on, hurly. Let boggles be boggles if I did say all that stuff. Well, you do look older. And was I? The passage of time has made you a little bit shorter. Oh, well, that's true. Can't kidnalk you for that. Or just reminisce of it. There's a couple of lads. Oh, sour pussin' shorty over here. Well, I'm not the same as I was either. See, boggles. I... Did you say I was missin'? Yeah, yeah, oh, oh. What happened? Burley was worried sick about you. We shared stories over a couple of goblin serfantive. Granted, they were meat-free alternatives. Oh, not them impossible. Oh, yeah. Things have really changed in the past like 20 years, 15 years ago. I hate those things, man. At the Wichlock carnival. But we shared stories about the old days and he was worried sick about you. He's not the same old Burley since he was been missin'. I left him a note. Well, I don't recall if he mentioned that in the... No, he definitely didn't mention that. Did he get you if he received a note? I probably didn't find it. I put it on his pillow, but you know how Burley is. Oh, Burley's always missin' things. He would lose his own head if it wasn't attached to his shoulders. I hate old Burley. I should have left a message with someone else. Is Torbett convinced that it was his brother that carted him off in perfect shape? I don't know. I don't think so. I think... Okay, Torbett's pictures though? They're identical twins and so I think Torbett could be very much... Anyone knows if Wiley's sitting behind everybody? Just watch this guy. Well, I should have asked someone to tell him. I didn't go missin' I left willingly. You came here willingly over your own? You wanted to be here? Wasn't looking too much. I had a drunken night with a sal pig. We were talkin' into the wee hours of the mornin'. The wee hours. Oh, I also had sal pigs at the things I hate. I guess I do have a lot of hate in me. But not for you. Well, you see, those words you said to me, Grica, they hit home. I couldn't stop thinkin' about it. I didn't want to be surly and short tempered. I didn't want to be the angry version of my brother. I didn't want to always be... I didn't want to always hear, Hurley, why do you look so mad? Hurley, why do you hate your friends? Hurley just wants everyone to start movin' along with the D&D plot. Look at him. So I decided that I was gonna leave the witch-like carnival. Oh, too real. Wow, wow. Wait, it was everything that I did when I was a younger man? I said, well... I'm all full of pissin' vinegar. They can't see that I just have resting bitch face. Then I guess I have to go somewhere else and get a new face. Well, I couldn't find a new face, Grico. So I did the next best thing I could do, and I made my way to Motherhorn, and I learned how to act. I thought, if I can figure out how to make my face look happy, then people will stop thinkin' that I'm an asshole. Did you succeed? No, I'm starein' at this mirror, and every time I look into it, the face looks pissy right back at me. I don't know how to fix it. I smile and I look mad. I laugh and I look angry. Have you tried smilein' with your eyes? Well, I don't know how to do that. Oh, well, that's probably why. The last time I tried to take them out, my whole face got swollen. Does any of this have anything to do with the fact that you don't have a shadow? Well, yeah, so... I showed up here at Motherhorn and I said, bitter end, not very good at acting. I don't have a great personality. I ain't got no friends, and everyone thinks my brother's better than me, so... I really got nothing to offer you, but I do want something from you. Well, shit. I would like to learn how to not be the same as what people is, was thinkin' I am's. You just want to turn over a new leaf. Exactly right. And she said, well, you got nothing on for me, but I can always use a good actor in the troupe, so in exchange for your shadow, I'll let you stay here and learn how to act. Oh, that's actually possible. So she takes them big scissors of hers. She snips that shadow from my body, pockets it. Now here I am in this room, still stuck on stage one. Get the mirrors to smile back at me. I mean, we've heard that the shadow snipping operation is a little traumatic. Was it painful? What's your shadow doing now? I ain't done seen it since she took it. Well, we know somebody who had their shadow removed. They seem just fine. And they're quite talented, so maybe, you know, they still hope. People in this place hate the shadow list, so fine. If I don't pass this test and learn how to make these mirrors happy, I ain't never getting my shadow back, and I sure as heck ain't getting a standing ovation, but I gotta tell you, there's one time this Brody Snake-esque snake kid came in here. We know Brody. You know Brody all that guy. Well, we know how to wear a... We were friends with him. He's really nice. Old family friends. Most theater kids suck, but this one's pretty cool. Talk about the whole thing. Damn, that was good, sir. You just thought that judge a few... You know, he's actually talked about how much he misses mom's spaghetti. Every time he says it, the M&M's in that room get really upset. Yeah. I understand there may be M&M's here. No, no, no, they're in the performers' quarters. Oh, so... Oh, this isn't that. Oh, no, we're in the dressing room. I'm assuming you're here to disrobe and get into something more cozy. Oh, am I still covered in blood? Yeah. Let me get changed. You're sopping. You're sopping. Well, yeah, so, you know, he's coming on occasion. Oh, yes. Working on his stuff, but... Should I put my rope back on, or should I keep on this crimson suit? What do you think, gentlemen? Um... I mean, it's a nice suit and all, but like, do you really pull it off? Yeah, I'm a good girl on this one. It's okay. It's fine. It's okay, Frosty. I don't know. We gotta know that ourselves, eh? That's fine, I don't fucking care. Oh, sorry, Frosty. Yeah. All I mean to say is we gotta know thyself, Hurley. Sometimes you gotta just expect, you know, accept who you are. You know, I had a similar story, you know, back in my old town. Do you mind if while you're telling me this, I try and smile in a smear? Yeah, keep going. Maybe my tale will give you a little bit of inspiration to smile. You know, I was trying to be a musician. I was gonna be a great big rock star. I said, hey, Mum, please, I got a dream. I got a dream. And you know, and then finally, I had a great performance. And someone who was the biggest fan came up to me and they said, you are a wonderful musician. You're a great performer, Griggo. If only you were more attractive. You'd make it big and be famous. So you know what I did after you did it? You know what I did? You and I are like 15-day drinking bender and... How do you know? I'm one of the 15-day drinking bender and gave it to you for my dreams. That's exactly why I left. You know what, I was a man. That's exactly why I left. It was like horrible. I gave it up. But you know what, I accepted it. Would you like a hug? I don't want to give you one, but I'll do it because it's socially acceptable. Until you asked that I wasn't really looking for a hug, but I figured I could give a hug. He rushes over to you and gives you the biggest hug. I'm sorry for being such a nasty lad to you, Billy. No, it's okay if you hadn't made me hate myself and wish that I were dead. I wouldn't have left and come here to get my shadow snipped off and to fail at everything I tried. I'm sorry, you know what I say? The tree remembers, but the axe begins. I don't know what that means. I don't need to hurt your feelings that bad. We was all just having a laugh on it and realized how nasty I was being. I didn't realize that my words actually have impact. He picks you up and he looks at you and he goes, You're my best friend, Grico. Oh, gosh, you know what? I feel like we just became best friends. I bet we did. I know we did. If only we could get some golden servant to celebrate right now. Just like a old uncle. Dormit will kill you! At this guy's like, you're still here? It's not Dormit's life! And I run for this guy and I turn over and just throw it out. What do you do? You're just attacking? I'm just attacking. Roll the attack. No, no, no, do this. Roll the attack. What do you do with him? I'm going to shoulder wrap him. Again, roll the attack. Do it. Attack him. Tour back. Wait, stop. Don't kill Grico. You're going to be a best friend. I got a 13. If it's an unknown attack, it's probably like a 14. Oh, this is your claws, right? No, your claws are your weapons. No, I'm not like, I'm just attacking this guy. You know what I mean? I'm not like, you know. You're not doing your part. No, no, no, no. That was the euphemism. Oh God. I have to see if he even has a stat block. I mean, I'm assuming. He's got one HP. Oh. Tour back. He killed him. Oh my God. And you're ready. You might not have a stat block in here. What's not prepared for this player? I'm so many of you. I have the idea. Yeah. So I need to see what's going on in this situation. You know what? Um, I'm going to, yeah, for, oh. Hold on. Vibrarian. I would do a Q-Rave. Okay. Um, what did you say? You got a 14. Yeah. I'm going to be a 14. Yeah. Yeah. Um, what did you say? You got a 15? 14. Oh, 14. You know what? I'll say for the sake of the fun of it, that, that hits. This is definitely like. Because he's, he's not even, I would say you roll at advantage because he's not paying attention. Think, think of like a, this is sneak attack. This is like a schoolyard tussle. You're an unseen attacker. We're just having like a slap fight. We're, you know, you don't know how to start him. You're doing non-lunful damage. Yeah. I'm just going to beat up on him. Tour backs like not really a fighter, you know what I mean? Right. But I'm, I tackle him to the ground and I don't crit. I tackle him around and I'm screaming about how he's stolen years of my life and put me through torture. And he doesn't even feel guilty about it. Ow, ow, what are you doing? What are you doing? Ow, ow, ow. What's going on? Ow, ow, ow. Gringo, Gringo, help me. Help me, Gringo. Help me. Help me. Ow. No, no. Stop this. I'm going to feel bad. I'm going to save you. I'm practically going to. Get this. Get this. I'm going to be sitting here for a year. Ow. Ow. I'm going to feel like we've got to give him this. The sins of the brother and all that has nothing to do with him. All right. Break them up. All right. Come here, Tourback. No, let's do it again. Go. No, get him. Come here. Come here. Come on. It's not even him, I don't think. I don't. I'll do my kind of try and pull Tourback off of him. Yes, strength contest. I failed. I got a good one. I got a 11. How often we roll dice that we're like hours into the session and they're barely. I'm rolling once. Not one dice. I have not either. Oh, that's easy. I plus zero strength. Ow, you scratched my eyeball. Good, good. Tourback's coming for the other one. Don't let me go. Don't let go of something. I'll say sorry for him. Let me help you. Let me help you. Go on over here, Tourback. Let's just hang out for a minute. Why is everyone paid early so much? I don't mean no harm. Yeah, yeah, it's your fate, sir. Because you killed Tourback. My heart hurts, too. Let's do it, man. I'm just trying to be a good guy. It's okay. It's okay. I'm trying to make people laugh. What's wrong with you? How could you not have grown three times in size right now and killed this hot woman? What's the situation we just caught him off-shelves into? It's Tourback out of the large heart and it's because of all the things that he put Tourback through. What? I didn't do nothing to you. No, it was his twin brother who put you through all that stuff. It was your twin brother who dragged you away at the guards. No, Bernie was already missing long before that happened. I didn't go missing. I left willingly. Well, he was missing from what we understood, okay? Well, that was a lie. Hey, I really think you should find a way to send word to your brother. That you're okay and that you're where you want to be. You know, that's a great point. Grico. Hey, here. That's to say. Is that a lemon? Yeah, it's all I got. Have a lemon. All right. No, I just, do I eat it right, dog? No, you squirt it in your eye. I love to do that. He comes to let me squirt it in his eye. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. That is how I flavor and cure wounds. Jesus Christ. As I would attempt to heal his eye. These are my curing limits. It's swollen. Grito's swollen. This is supposed to hurt like that. Oh, here it goes. Just nine points of healing. Oh, actually, that's not feeling good. That's now. Yeah. Oh, wow. Wow. Feel that. That's a breath. He opened his eye. Can I offer you a lemon and a chocolate sauce? And it is, his eye looks like it's about to pop out of the socket. It's swollen and red and dripping with, with, with citrus acidity. But he is, he looks happy. He's smiling and we look down at the mirror. He sees a smile. Shine back at him. Oh my God, I did it. I did it. I smiled. Grito, Grito, I smiled. Did you see that? Did you see that? Did you see that? I did it. I frosted it over here. Oh, three of us best friends. Did you see that smile? Did he smile in the mirror? He's smiling in the mirror. Oh, did he smile in the back handle? Yeah. Tour bag, you did it, man. You put it on his path of achieving his dreams. Oh, we're the free best friends that anybody can have. Oh, we're the free really good chums and the best lads. I owe about that frosty. I owe. Hey, we're all going to get some gold and some tuff. Hey, what is that? Back in the kitchen? I love my, my two best friends. The three, we're like the third player for Lupin Chooey. I ain't never played, but I'll do it. Oh, you know what they say? Oh, freeze company. And with a free best lads that anybody could ever have. That goes, that's right. Oh, with a free best lads. Ain't that right? Holy. Three lads. Three lads. Three lads. Three lads. Three lads. Each one. Each one. Each one. Each one. And they became roommates in Los Angeles. West Hollywood. Well, what happens now? Do you get your shadow back? Oh, no, I got like 57 more emotions. I got to figure out. Oh, I got the first one down. You got that wheel. Okay. For emotions and they break down. Oh boy. There's a wheel for that? Yeah. Yeah. It enumerates all the emotions based on the inside of the wheel. I ain't done knowing what enumerating is, but I trust you. Is there a post office in Motherhorn or some way that you can send a letter to your brother? Well, maybe if I, well not in Motherhorn directly, but if I could get out, maybe I could, but Grico, could you, could you just tell Burley for me that I'm all right? Burley? Yeah, I'm Hurley. No, I know. But like, I mean, we're both here together. I think I pretty sure we got told that we was in prison forever and ever. Wait, you're in prison forever and ever? Yeah, we got in prison forever. No, but he still got your shadow. And it was implied. Yeah. It's not confirmed. Yeah, they kind of sell us what comes next. They ain't snipped off yet. Is there a way you could like send a letter or something? No, probably not, but. Well, I'm sure we'll see Burley again. I feel like every time I think it's the last time I've seen Burley, he always shows up in me life again. Yeah, well. That's the four best friends that anybody could have. Hey, Frosty. Hey. We got Burley, we got Hurley, we got you and me. The best lads, you know what they say? Fools company, eh? I believe that's the phrase. That's the phrase. Fools company. Yeah. And y'all could speak goblin too, okay? To each other. Yeah, exactly. And then we'll translate for you, Frosty. No, I can cast tongues. No, we can just, oh, that's right. We can all speak goblin to each other. Why is that one foaming at the mouth? And you know, and when there's the four lads, we can just, one of us will just take turns sitting out of loop and chew, we'll eat his honest and gentle play. This is gonna be a grand thought, right? That's what the chair is for. That's what the chair is for. I'll be a grand old hand. That's finally come full circle. In my mind. In my mind. I've never been mentioned that game, ever again. I reach out, Torbekah, you hear, just wait, just be patient. We'll get Hurley soon enough. You're grinning. For me, it's rolling over the mouth because of the four-mongered face. Oh, lads. My heart is so warmed after all that. Well, you know, I'm glad we could help you smile, but we have a lot of other people to meet, and we gotta get to our room. And if you had like 57 of our emotions, I mean, do they have like counseling here at Matterhorn, like our professional, I feel like you probably need it. Well, no. Oh, well. Well, you know, me and Frosty are always here to listen to your problems whenever you need it. Frosty's a great listener. Well, I really gotta get back to working on those other emotions. I don't mean to rush you or anything, but I'm here willing. I'm happy. No, no, this was great. Honestly, that was easy. That was better than it was to me. It was great reconnecting. And you know what? If we get a special request, if I tell them how to make it like a bartender, or they let me back in the kitchen, I'll bring you a golden surf and turf just like old Tom's. And this time, I won't put anything nasty out on account of it being a prank. Well, I appreciate that a lot. And here, I'll write down a few things here for you. Quixotic, as an example. Oh, yeah. Pensive, another emotion you might try. Terror, mortal terror. You can give these a try. Oh, I don't know how to re... Oh, shit. That's probably why Burley didn't get my note. I don't know how to read or write. Did he just leave a blank parchment on his pillow? I should have known that wasn't going to work. Hmm, yes. Frosty, what's the call of the void? Nothing. What's the mental worry? Stop, stop, stop. Oh, okay, sorry. Sorry, I was just practicing my letters. Okay, finally, Gideon, lead us to room 40s. Room what? 40s? Room 40s, yes, in your mouth! That was it! Burley! Woo! Ah, that was very good, Gregor. Well done, well done. It's been a while. Oh, that was so sweet. Oh, what the... I did not think that was gonna work. That one, I was like, I don't know what it's talking about. I think everyone's got it. I think Mikey got the entire internet. The entire internet. I was like, wow, Mikey never asked me to lead. That's sad. What a generous man from heaven. Oh, it makes me... Yeah, yeah, yeah! Brutal. Oh, man, who is the map? You make your way out of the room, and you begin walking down the hallway, continuing further until you come to a door with a large golden star on it, carved into the door in intricate lettering or the words, performers quarters, and you realize that you've arrived in a broad, merely one room over from where you had been. Gideon, you open the door, and you find yourselves in this new chamber. The walls of this chamber, the walls of this gloomy chamber are aligned with black-veiled compartments that contain makeshift beds. The furniture is sparse, a few wooden tables and chairs, a box of junk in one corner, and flickering lanterns resting here and there. Five performers and one snake occupy the room. One of them paced nervously while the other's weak. The snake, clearly Brody's snake-esque, is sitting at a table and chair up against the wall, writing frantically, writing like he's running out of time. You see in the very center of the room a table. It's covered in dust. One of the legs has clearly been broken and patched together with the equivalent of duct tape. And on it are bowls, filled with all these small Caucasian-mendied greens. The other one is filled. I hate that so much. That's upsetting. It is filled with what are clearly sheaths of ground-up Caucasian-mend meat. Yeah. What in the actual fuck? This is the worst in the script. I just want you to know that we all just like this. I'll pass. Is there like a little like crank where they're like they're alive and they're like... You can make your own flim-gim shavings. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know what I mean? Yeah. You can make your own flim-gim shavings. You just have to pick one of them. What is it with the small population of humans that are in the Feywild? And also on the table is a large, dusty carafe of what is clearly lemon water. Oh. Lemon water? Yeah. Is it water with floating lemons in it or is it a combination of juice? Something in me needs to know. Yes. I have to know, Nikki. I don't need an inclusive yes doesn't do it for me. It is water with lemons floating in it. Thank you. Thank you so much. Oh. We're here. What a move. This is the star. Oh. The new stop of all my life. How are you? Make way. Everything good? I'm fine. This is awkward. I'm never gonna see my family again. Oh, trust me. I get a wide berth in this one. I put a lot about these when I grab it. I'm slipper shady. You crunch down on his torso. The final scream of life escapes him. He's either weak or his arms are heavy. I don't have any of those, but it's an odd place to store your snacks in a pitcher of water. But he's a lot to run around. What do you mean you're never gonna see your family again? Oh, so funny. She just continues to cry. You hear similar sentiments from all around you, but it seems like the majority of these performers, unlike Hurley, did not seem to be interested in talking to you. Oh, excuse me. Oh my God, is that Snake-ass Snake Jr.? Do my eyes deceive me? By the gods. You hear the scratching of pen on paper as it stops. It comes to an exaggerated scratch. You have no idea how this pen is writing. Brody, Snake-ass Snake Jr., does not have arms. Yet somehow. No, no, his tail is occupied otherwise. Oh, God, he's more powerful than Frost. And slowly you see as his snake body turns and looks towards you. What do they do, fella? Who friends your parents? Who are you? Well, I'm the Kremlin crew, and this is kind of all of the crew. You say you're, fuck, I'm turning into Hurley. He asks, how do you know his parents? I've got to figure out how to do this in my head. Well, they started by kidnapping, man, then they cooked us a nice spaghetti dinner. Oh gosh, Mom kidnapped you? Yeah, we were just walking around, oh heaven, on the grounds of the slanted towel. She really has a possession issue. Yeah, I mean, she just pants the second she saw me. Yeah, I mean, I don't blame him. Well, look at him. Yeah, I mean, you do kind of look like, oh shit, this is, why am I doing this? You know? What's the skeleton key in there? It should be, you know, but in my head, it's not tonight. You know, you do kind of look like the, you know, the hunky men she watches on her mirror images, or not mirror images, that would be weird. On her major images. She sure wrapped herself all the way around me real quick, so I mean, I guess. And just tugged him right down. Yeah. Right off his feet. He's at the best adventures without tour bags. Tugs are best of all you guys. You've just seen her make spaghetti. It was remarkable. Single body, just figuring out how to navigate an entire, like, hot pan while also the noodles and the boiling water. The tomato, the car, everything. I really miss her cooking. Her spaghetti was the best. I said, what's the real gourmet shit, Tour Bag? Let me tell you. My favorite nights back home were when she was watching the bachelor and it was the vampire bats trying to find love. The bachelor. Yeah, the bachelor. She would just cook up a storm for that one. Yeah. If we ever go back, Tour Bag would love to try a plate of spaghetti, garnished with the tongue. A tongue of burly. Well, there's still time for that. Yeah, Tour Bag. We'd never go find burly in the other. It's been so long since I've had a pot of gravy. Wait. What? A pot of gravy with your spaghetti? Oh, yeah. With your gravy. What else would you put on spaghetti? What do I look like, a fool? You put sauce on spaghetti. Yeah, sauce on spaghetti. Why would you ever put sauce on spaghetti? What am I going to put ketchup all over my spaghetti? Mustard? That's weird. A good marinara maybe, you know. Any kind of red sauce, maybe a pink sauce. Yeah, so gravy. No, I'm talking about that. Stuff that makes your show great with mayonnaise and tuna juice. Yeah, sauce. Oh, look at what I'm talking about. See, he knows what I'm talking about right there. Yeah, sauce. Sauce makes it great with mayonnaise and tuna juice. Like Thousand Island Dressin' or French Dressin' or something. A little bit of meat, a little bit of meat, Grace. Yeah, you're talking about gravy. Wait, you're talking about gravy. Bravery, right? Like you take meat drippings and you add some kind of broth of stock. Well, you know, sometimes the meatballs inside of, you know, will drip a little meat sauce into the squash tomatoes mixed with oregano and some olive oil. I'm just confused because I feel like you're describing sauce. Yeah, you're talking about sauce. I'm talking about gravy. Why would I ever call it sauce? That's just absolutely ridiculous. I mean, that's what it is. Like you can say it's not, but you're just wrong. I'm not wrong. No, no, no. You believe that a red tomato sauce... What do you know about snake-as-snake traditions, huh? You don't know shit. I don't know fucking shit about snake-as-snake. You don't know my mother. You don't know my mother. You don't know my mother. You don't know my fucking mother. You don't know my fucking mother. You step down right now and you're going to catch this. What a jackass. You don't know shit about my mom. You're calling my dad. You can't call my dad. You can't call my dad. You got started on the wrong foot, all right? I don't have any feet in your piece of shit. Oh, jeez. I hope I did not mean it. I'm so sorry. I'm sorry. I did not mean it that way. Look, look, look. The parents miss you dearly and frankly... Don't be talking about my mom. You keep my mom's name out of your fucking mouth. Sweet lady. Your dad, he... You don't be talking about my dad. You keep my dad's name out of your fucking mouth. Your family. Don't be talking about my family. You keep my family's name out of your fucking mouth. Get away from this fucking blue-ass kid. I'm done with this guy. Fuck him. Okay, allow me to help. We need a mediator. I feel suddenly like... I hate you. Wait, no. No, no, no, no, no, no. You know the difference between gravy and sauce, yeah? I mean, sauce... Actually, no, I do like this guy. I do like this guy. I feel like we're having a semantic argument that has very little actual meaning to the gravity of the situation we fight in this house. Was anybody talking to you? Would you care for an M&M? No, was anybody talking to you? What are you doing walking up here into my house? Hey, don't talk to me, best mate. Frosty like that. Well, do whatever you want. Just because he just spent an empty sea hour... No, I'm mad now. I'm making a closest perfect. This guy's over here trying to sleep with my mother. This guy's over here trying to tell my family how to live their lives and have their traditions. No, that happened to me, man. And this guy's over here. Nobody's talking to him, and he's buttoning his nose. If you keep shouting at my friends, I'm gonna have to get you spanking. And I know you're gonna like it because I assume it runs in the family. Oh, oh! Woo! Got you! No one is helping the situation. That wasn't even there. Big man, big man, give me some. Give me some. Hey, man. All right. Dang! How do you spank the steak? I'm really mad right now. I would you like to know. I was awfully turned on by that, and so I don't know how to feel right now. One smack in the door. All right. Hey, hey, hey, hey. Anything. Woo! I'm all righter than I thought. All right. I'm all righter than I thought. All right. No, I think you might be right. I think we might have gotten off on our own foot. You see, I don't have much time. What do you mean? I gotta finish this script before opening night, and if I don't, she's gonna send the Gabbo ghouls to axe my family. What? I'm sorry. What? What the hell? A Gabbo ghoul? Yeah, she's gonna send her band of Gabbo ghouls to axe my family. You feel like Undead Goblins? You know it. I feel like Goblin noise. I'm getting the shoelace of the stick in this shitty place. Yeah, this is a good. I feel like I've been prisoned in fucking so much. Yeah, we need a serious PR campaign. Brody, it's funny to me, she's got a crazy army of a thousand marionettes with knives, and she sends Gabbo ghouls after them. Why not the marionettes? Because it's thematic. It's because they've got their capa-cool, you know, and they've got a papa capa-cool. You can axe them. Damn, they got guns here? No, they've got the capa-cool. Oh, I was in there in my option of firearms rules. Oh, shit. You do. I have got the repeating laser right now. Well, I feel like I've gone off under the wrong scaly underbelly. And I feel like we've just learned, correct me if I'm wrong, that you are now mixed up in the mom and a bunch of undead goblins are going to kill your folks unless you put on a great show. I might have made a couple of mistakes, but I'm figuring it out, you know? Like, I dreamed to start them. I want my name in lights. It's all I've ever wanted. I'm almost there. I just got to write this script and save my family. Brody, Brody, Brody. The Gabo Ghouls. You were able to turn around the... Who the fuck are you? Why are you talking to me? Whoa, what the hell? I'm trying to help you. Frost, can you call this guy down? Can you please explain the dookie-dicky? You were involved in this. I've been thinking about it, but I can't think of anything else. It's fucking crazy. That's a daring speaking. Wait a minute. Are you saying you've read my collaboration script? We performed it. You turned it around in no time at all. It was only a few hours and you were able to turn it around. You liked the dookie-dicky part? No, you were able to do it very quickly. You wrote it very quickly is what I will say. I felt in the moment that he had something written there was poetic and I felt like it broke up the tension. I thought to myself, why would he say you shine more brightly than the luminescent stars that pepper the stars? I wouldn't say anything romantic. My love for you is tremendous and endless and serene. Who the fuck speaks like that? I thought, actually what if he said I'll give you my dookie-dicky instead, you know? I just felt in that moment like it just tied the whole thing together. You completed that script in time? The only part I really left was the beginning part where it was fading in. There was all that technical shit that I didn't really understand. Right after he said the man I love is dead, I just scrapped everything else. I wrote the rest myself. You wrote that part about really hating Jason Schwarzman. Fuck that guy. What a piece of fucking shit. I think kids say I've had the pleasure of doing it. Not every actor needs a tremendous amount of pain. He's not a rookie to be a character actor. And he'll tell it to you too. So you go ahead and ask Jason how he feels about his acting anyway. Fuck that guy that weasley fuck. And you wrote that and somebody said that on stage. And in front of hundreds of people, perhaps thousands. And from what I hear, I don't know who performed it. From what I hear they were spectacular. It was like we mind melded. They just got me. They got my vision. It's not every day that you find actors and actresses and the like that can read a script like that with so many layers. It might look like it's something on the surface level, but it's deep. You know, like dookie-dicky doesn't just mean that it's, you know, a Duke's dick. It's also mean it ain't no sex. How old are you? How old are you? This is inappropriate. We've been giving you the path of the town. You have a real sex life. We were ensuring that was an agenda. Look, I've had enough. I'm gonna forgive that you may be responsible for forcing Gideon to ruin your song by Sir Elton John. All right? And all I'm gonna say is your parents want you to go home because they think acting and theater is cringe. All right? But they want something better for their son. And we made a deal and we promised that we were gonna pass that along. And beyond that, our deed is done, fellas. You're right. Check one off the mark. And you can go ahead and tell my mom that I love her a lot and I would come home if I could, but I kind of made a pact with this hag and now I'm stuck here until I can get my shadow back and I can't do that until I write the script that is an amazing opening night so she can fulfill all of her plans and take over all of Prismia, you know? So I'm kind of stuck doing all of that, but if you could let Ma know that I've been dreaming of a gravy for so long and I would come home if I could and I actually think she's kind of right, you know? I think acting is cringe, but playwriting is pretty not cringe, you know? Because you write about a dookie-dicky and it makes people cry. Brody, one moment. Are you saying that you're writing the script for Endelund's opening night? Oh, yeah. And are you saying that you made a pact with her to make her open a night go real well? Yeah. Oh. Oh. Uh-oh. And you should go home. It is important that you enjoy spaghetti and gravy again. Oh. Brody, seems like you've got some writer's block. Why don't you just, you know, walk it off, slither it off. And, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and just cool your head. And Greco here isn't accomplished playwright. I don't know if you knew that about. Oh, the tale of brave show more, more go? I don't know if you've heard that. Wait, is, is, huh. Doing it again. Doing it again. Oh. Well, you know, well, you know, baby. I actually do think that I, that I heard that it was, that was in, you know, that, that place. And they, they did that. Oh yeah. Yeah. That slutty bitch Julia, uh, Fliils. Who? What? It's in the place where she is, right? Oh yeah. I mean, y'all weren't there for that. Sucking on. Yeah. I know, but they got shows. No, yeah. They got major images. My mom watches that trashy TV. Well, that's not how I get it. It was a great hit. Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, I heard about that. They were, they were so pissed that they didn't major image that. People would love it. Yeah. Why don't you let us help? Greco can maybe finish the play and then you'll be Scott free. She'll love it. And then you can pass it off as your own work. I won't ask for the royalties and nothing. He'll be the best ghostwriter you could possibly imagine. He's quite the word for it. Well, you know, you know, I, I don't feel, I'm going to be honest. We're close now. Right. We practically family. Was that just because you said ghosts? Here, here, please. I mean, honestly, I mean, with the amount of time you clearly slept with my mom, you practically my dad. Well, there's a lot of sleep and going. Brody, Brody, Brody, here, have an M&M. You're not, you're not yourself when you have an M&M. I prefer the slims. They say it takes eight miles to go through the digestive tract. Brody, Brody, you know, do you think that you can do rather than script yourself? Do you believe yourself that much? No, no, that's what I, that's what I was going to say. It says I feel like, I don't know if you were in the audience and you were able to see what happened with the performance today, but that was my best work. How am I ever going to come up with something like that ever again? And I've been, I've been in a playwright's block ever since. You know, Brody, I feel like you need, you know, this is actually quite serendipitous. That I've just met my old best friend, Berly, my new best friend Berly with me, my old best mate, Hurley with me, my old best mate, honestly. Last? I've lived on the couch of our gain wisdom. And I was a young lad like you full of piss and vinegar, you know? No. And you've said some pretty reprehensible things. What am I saying? That's reprehensible. I feel like I'm, you've got to say something. But nice to you guys. I think a little bit of humility will only unlock the wisdom that you need to write. I do think that if this were, if this were a comedy, I think that this script would be great. But Endeline requires it's a tragedy. Yeah. And so let me tell you something that I'll need to hear when I was a young lad. You're a great actor, wonderful and a brilliant playwright. I'm pretty bad at that actually. If you were more attractive, you would make a big and you would be so famous. Let me tell you, if you were just more attractive, gosh. I know it's a really unfortunate thing for a snake man like myself to be born with human teeth and he smiles and you see two rows of human teeth. Yeah, that's really freaky. But as long as we say I'm ugly and I'm proud, can you say it for me? I don't want to say that though. But note ourself. You're on it. See, Tobi can I say it to each other all the time. I'm ugly and I'm proud. You're both ugliest. We're the ugliest mugs around. I'm ugly and I'm proud. Come on, say it with me. Coon Brody, Snake, S-Naked Junior. Full of persuasion, check out his bandage. I'm using one of our mini twists. Yeah. Oh yeah. Oh. Thank you, Jack. Oh my goodness. 21. No, I'll play you a game. My name is Brody, Snake S-Naked Junior. And I'm ugly and I'm proud. These human teeth in this snake body don't make me any less than anyone use. Except for maybe you because your handsome is fucked. Well, that's fair. But the rest of you is ugly just like me. Whoa, don't look me in the eye. I'm in that cram and you can say false to me. There's a kid who isn't about that. And you know, I think I could use a little bit of a break from all this play right now. And I just, I need a creativity break. So I gotta go get the star of opening night. I'm gonna go get Glister out of her jail cell and I'll be back once she's free. And that's where we'll end the session. Oh. Yeah. Jail cells, they sound good. This star of opening night. It sure will be fine. It feels good to be back folks. Thank you so much for listening to the Legends of Avantra's podcast. We hope you enjoyed the session. If you want even more campaigns to listen to, become a member of our Patreon at the Pearl Dolphin Tier or higher to unlock Shroud of Versalt Marsh, a Patreon exclusive campaign set on the high seas. You can find that at patreon.com forward slash legends of Avantra's. 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