438: Minnesota Breaks the ICE

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Donate now to support Planned Parenthood at plannedparenthood.org slash defend. That's plannedparenthood.org slash defend. I understand that you want to listen to your podcast, so I'll keep it short. Because if you think it's important to make a lot of choices, can ASR maybe help? Well, I think, how then? Well, for example, when you're doing a lot of things that are you love for Schade. Will you know more about the insurance where a lot of schade can be? Go to asr.nl slash duurzamekeuzes. This does ASR for you and a more sustainable life. ASR does it. So, then you can now listen to your podcast. What's up, Los Angeles? Welcome to Love It or Leave It, live at Dynasty Typewriter. We've got a great show for you tonight. Andy Richter is here. Vic Michaelis is here. We're going to step into the interview Thunderdome, read people to filth in the cleanest way possible, and then we'll take our third shot at second thoughts. But first, let's get into it. What a week. There's an old line about Napoleon's doomed Russia campaign and his ultimate retreat from Moscow. The Grand Army, it said, arrived like conquerors, but fled like fugitives. Not sure what made me think of that, but I was in Minneapolis this week because I wanted to see on the ground what it was like there for myself. I spent a lot of time talking to protesters outside the Whipple Building, the current base for ICE operations in the Twin Cities. And this is neither here nor there, but the Whipple Building is too delightful a name to headquarter a lawless deportation program. The Whipple Building is where you store your city's butterscotch reserves. Whenever a vehicle would drive by, the protesters would all stop and scan the people inside. Are you one of us? Are you part of our community? or are you part of the occupying force that has been wreaking havoc for weeks? Some of the protesters were there to organize against ICE to be part of a community-wide effort to protect their neighbors. Others set up supplies to keep people warm. And still others I met were there because they were just fucking furious. I don't want to say fuck ICE because you couldn't pay me enough to fuck anybody from ICE. I probably shouldn't say stuff like that. What happened to Minnesota Nice? This is Minnesota Nice. If they can't handle bad words, maybe they shouldn't come here. and you'd see car after car of masked federal agents some would speed by their heads kind of forward others would slow down to actually antagonize the demonstrators like the wwe but instead of john cena it's an angry fragile unfuckable zero who is excited to stay in a hotel because his ex-girlfriend took the bed frame when she left and even though that was two years ago his mattress is still on the floor pressed into the corner of his blank walled bachelor bedroom that reeks of icy hot takis and dried release. It was a stark contrast between the protesters standing in the freezing cold day after day and these masked agents in their rented SUVs clearly getting off on playing the heel. And it's no wonder. Here is what Stephen Miller said earlier this month following the shooting death of Renee Goode, but before the shooting death of Alex Preddy. To all ICE officers, You have federal immunity in the conduct of your duties. And anybody who lays a hand on you or tries to stop you or tries to obstruct you is committing a felony. Solid legal advice from the law offices of Incel, Incel and Dershowitz. In fairness to Steven, you'd also be mad all the time if your fontanelle never closed. Just gonna lay him down really gently. J.D. Vance told them they'd have absolute immunity before walking it back last week. The precedent here is very simple. You have a federal law enforcement official engaging in federal law enforcement action. That's a federal issue. That guy is protected by absolute immunity. He was doing his job. I didn't say, and I don't think any other official within the Trump administration said that officers who engaged in wrongdoing would enjoy immunity. That's absurd. Of course, that's assuming these clips are of the same guy. If there are two of them now, we're going to need a bigger couch. I don't know. It's like, you know what's sad? It's like a couch joke, but I knew it would work, so it's fine. It's the fact of it. And so ICE and Border Patrol haven't been acting like law enforcement. They've been acting like a gang. Here's just one example of an ICE agent in Minneapolis proving the point. You erase your voice? I erase your voice. If I erase my voice, you'll erase my... Exactly, yeah. But Amanda Gorman's Wario isn't just saying what they're... It's just saying what they're all thinking. This entire campaign has been about intimidation from the start. Minneapolis isn't a big city. It barely cracks the top 50 in the United States. It's a diverse city, but it doesn't have a particularly large foreign-born population. This current ICE operation was in part instigated by a conservative YouTuber who claimed to unearth massive fraud conducted by Somali-run federally funded daycares. But there were already 62 investigations underway into that alleged fraud, and dozens were already charged under the Biden administration several years ago. And even if there was ongoing fraud, that has absolutely nothing to do with immigration enforcement. Can you imagine the schmucks from ICE doing forensic accounting? Half of these guys are in ICE because they didn't understand how interest worked before they became underwater on a fucking cyber truck. And we know all this is just a pretext because six federal prosecutors quit rather than investigate Renee Good's widow. And one of those prosecutors was in charge of the fraud investigations that Trump claims to care so much about. Meanwhile, all the chaos on our screens has led Americans to believe that ICE is making cities less safe. And in the Twin Cities, you come to see how that is literally true. And not only in the immediate chaos ICE has unleashed. I met somebody who was part of a mutual aid organization. He had seen up close people not only afraid to leave the house, but afraid to call 911, to report domestic abuse, to go to the hospitals, to seek shelter. I talked to a police officer about all the ways this is putting pressure on the resources of law enforcement. Everywhere you go, the cops are having to do their best to keep the peace in a city on edge in what amounts to a 24-hour a day, seven-day-a-week protest. I did take that to mean you could just park basically anywhere, loading zones, sidewalks, and we never paid a meter once and never got a single ticket. But there are downsides. And then there was the response by the citizens of Minnesota. People on corners everywhere invest with whistles all across the Twin Cities in front of high schools and elementary schools and preschools, on corners in immigrant neighborhoods in what would have been busy commercial districts, but now feel like ghost towns. It was a grassroots army of volunteer sentinels standing in the extreme cold for hours at a time. Los Angeles, imagine an AMC movie theater, but you've forgotten your hoodie. Now imagine colder. Or maybe this will help. The weather in Minnesota is what cryotherapy is based on. We met union leaders organizing rides to work and supplies for their members, native organizations doing patrols and providing mutual aid, people who have been activists their whole lives, people who began protesting after the killing of Philando Castile and George Floyd. I met somebody who had never been to a protest before in his entire life, and he was, like, hot. Every kind of person was out there. I, for many years, was involved in what led up to Project 2025. And I was a straight ticket Republican voter for 25 years of my life. And of course, I'll never vote that way again. I just want one note about that guy is I went up to him. So we were at the Alex Preddy Memorial where he was killed. and it was obviously a somber place and there were people laying down candles and signs, some of them funny, some of them very serious, some of them sad. One thing that was just very sad to see is how many people had laid down stethoscopes at the memorial and I saw him and he did not want to talk. And actually when I stopped him, he said, oh, I'm not eloquent. I don't have anything to say. I don't have anything to say, which is a common thing. You just, people feel like, that's not for me. Like there's such a humble thing about the Twin Cities. And I just seen this guy. And by the way, it's a small thing, but like it is so cold. And he's not like he's comfortable in the cold. Like you just tell he's just a guy that's like used to the cold. Like I am fucking freezing. He's like barely covered. He's fine. But I just watched this big burly guy carry flowers to the memorial, lay them down, stand in silence for 20 or 30 seconds and then just turn around to walk away. And I just wanted to talk to him. He's just one of the many people that they're not being interviewed. They're not loud, but they are part of the response you see everywhere. When you would go to the pretty memorial, there were people there at all hours. And it may not be a big crowd, but there are always people just coming, taking a moment and walking away. The same as the Renee Good memorial. There was just a man outside the Rene Good Memorial who had been there all night in front of a fire just to keep watch over it, to prevent anybody from messing with it, to prevent anybody from clearing anything away at all hours everywhere. And you just saw that everywhere. You just saw people everywhere just taking small moments to be part of the community and feeling like they just wanted to do some small thing. So anyway, I met that guy, and he'll never vote Republic again, and congrats to Jill Stein on getting another voter. Trump relieved his commander at large, Greg Bovino. He was issued his walking papers on Monday and immediately turned back into a nutcracker. After Stephen Miller called Alex Preddy a would-be assassin, and Kristi Noem called this ICU nurse for veterans and domestic terrorists seeking to do maximum damage to law enforcement rather than apologize like human beings. They've both been trying to blame each other. And I say, let them duke it out. I have no dog in this fight, and obviously neither does Christy Noem. Not anymore. But in some way, Stephen Miller and Christy Noem and Greg Bovino being despicable was useful because it made the leadership as ugly as the campaign itself. If anything, all the filler just made it worse. No change in tone or leadership will change the math. ICE cannot reach Stephen Miller's deportation goals without grabbing people who are going to their immigration appointments, legally applying for asylum, or just trying to work and just trying to live. And that means whatever happens at the top, either a policy of mass deportations will end or ICE will come to your city too. On Tuesday, court filings revealed that ICE intends to build a new detention center in Newport, Oregon. In Portland, Oregon, an entire family was detained by ICE while taking their seven-year-old daughter to urgent care because her nose wouldn't stop bleeding. They made it as far as the parking lot. Now that family is being held at the same Texas facility where five-year-old Liam Ramos is. That's the kid in the blue bunny hat. He's being held there with his father. ICE was already in Portland, Maine in an operation called Playfully Catch of the Day, though apparently Kristi Noem told Susan Collins that that operation would end. There's been all kinds of speculation about where ICE would go next. philadelphia city government is debating ways to restrict ice as rumors swirl that that city uh filled with brotherly love and great sandwiches might be the administration's next target which would be pretty insane even for trump you just lost in a city filled with our country's nicest whites you're going to the city with our meanest ones mark my words they're going to arrest a dozen dudes in philly for pelting ice agents with d batteries and then every last one of them is going to go, what is ice? We were talking to protesters at Whipple when we got word that we could run over to the Capitol and sit down with Governor Tim Walz. So I asked a few people there what they'd want to know from the governor. And they'd arrange of the most Minnesota reactions imaginable. Like, oh, I don't know. I'm just here to be supportive. I wouldn't know what to ask the governor or anything like that. And one person said, we're out here and we just need to know that he's on our side and not their side. And then as we were walking to leave, we ran into another couple of protesters. And I said, like, is there anything you'd want us, the governor, to know about what you're feeling and what's happening out here? And she just said, I guess I want them to know they're all just so sad. And then she just broke down, just broke down. And then she said she was a fan of the show, which like oddly didn't help. it's a hard time for everyone the bruce springsteen song wasn't very good uh and i'm sure it's hard to be the guy who says i don't know i think this one could use another pass bruce springsteen it's kind of literal but we all have to do hard things right now what happened to subtlety and universal truth in art where can we be honest about amanda gorman's rhyming ap stories clearly not yet so emotions were very close to the surface everywhere you went everybody was pretty raw and angry and heartbroken about what was happening in their home but one thing that I thought captured the experience is as you know there's masked guys going in and out and they're being yelled at and they're taunting back and it's pretty ugly. But then there would be, say, a fire truck go by. And those guys are from the community and the people in the protest would be like, you know, give us a horn or like honk or wave, right? And like, they're not sure what they're supposed to do, right? Because they're both sort of representatives of the government and they're supposed to be official, but they also feel a connection to the community. And just to see people feel that tension, you feel that genuinely everywhere. It was inspiring to see all those people on the street, corner after corner in their vests and their whistles. It is also deeply strange and uncomfortable to see people standing on street corners forming a kind of grassroots organization to defend themselves against the federal government and federal law enforcement because they know that that machine is not respecting court orders, not respecting the law. And so it is a beautiful thing to see, but it's also a terrifying thing to see. And I know it's easier to be mad than to be sad. And so in our personal lives, the work often happens. We have to learn to stop being mad and face that we're sad and really kind of sit in being sad. But I actually think we should fight the urge to be sad and try to stay really fucking mad. And I think this can help. This tragedy occurred as a result of a deliberate and hostile resistance by Democrat leaders in Minnesota. I know I'm supposed to feel sorry for Alex Preddy, but I don't. I don't. Do you know why I wasn't shot by Border Patrol this weekend? Because I kept my ass inside and out of their operations. Boy Scout outdoorsman, right? You know who that is? A lot of people. Dennis Rader, the BTK killer, was all those things. Trump and Noam and Miller and all these freaks, they've convinced themselves that empathy is weakness. And everything about Trump and his project is about training people to be less caring and more selfish, to be less forgiving and more cruel. But that also means they're caught off guard when kind people are tougher and braver than they are. When a nurse who cared for dying veterans puts his life on the line to help a woman push to the ground and his death galvanizes the country and when a city rises up to meet a hostile force on every corner at every turn against tear gas and pepper spray and a campaign of intimidation out of love for their neighbors alone And I saw that everywhere in the Twin Cities too And I also saw the governor insane Diet Mountain Dew fridge It's too few. But also too many. There are nine Diet Mountain Dews in there. And of course, that's a lot of Diet Mountain Dews. but not if you have a fridge for them. And so now we have Tom Homan saying this. That said, I'm not here because the federal government has carried its mission out perfectly. I do not want to hear that everything that's been done here has been perfect. Shouldn't be a problem. I'd like to pause and acknowledge a technique Homan is using here. it's a turn of phrase it's called a light toadies do you know what a light toadies is that's where instead of describing something directly you describe how something is not it's contrary so trump's immigration enforcement in minneapolis has not been handled perfectly the titanic's maiden voyage did not go as planned ticket sales for the melania documentary have not surpassed our expectations and that shift from homin is more than just a change in tone this is common sense cooperation that allows to draw down on the number of people we have here yes i said it draw down the number of people here we've conditioned ourselves not to celebrate even small victories because we don't want to seem naive and we don't want to let our guards down and i get that but it is worth saying that the people of minnesota rose up against the trump administration and the trump administration backed down and whatever comes next whatever yeah and whatever comes next whatever horrors we get to see that ought to teach them a lesson and serve as a lesson for all of us too we're not trapped in here with trump trump is trapped in here with us and there's no way this gets back to bruce springsteen right like there's no like what are the odds that seems impossible right that's bruce is not gonna hear about this we've got a great show for you tonight coming up next it's andy richter and vick michaelis Hey, don't go anywhere. 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My guests tonight are one of the stars of Peacock's Ponies and a man who moves as beautifully as one on the dance floor. Please put your hooves together for Vic Michaelis and Andy Richter. Hi. Hi. Hi. Thanks for being here. Thank you for having us. Hi to you both. Thanks for being here. I love this. Andy and Vic, you were both on a podcast together. this week. You were on Andy's podcast. Yeah, Andy said he'd never talk to me again. Yeah, yeah. And then here we are. It was too pleasant. Now, this is three questions to Andy Richter. I've been a guest of that podcast. Vic, your dad listened to the episode and realized that the woman who redid his kitchen years ago was Andy's mother. My mother. So your mother redid your dad's kitchen? My dad texts me at four o'clock in the morning and he just says, Andy Richter exclamation point. And I said, okay, I'll bite. Dads do that all the time. He is in Florida. So it was a little bit more of a reasonable time. And then he's like, I think his mom did our kitchen unless there's another Andy Richter on TV. And there isn't. There sure isn't. I made sure of that. But is your mother an interior decorator or designer? She was a kitchen designer yeah she's she's retired now um but yeah she was a kitchen designer she designed kitchens and and was very good at it and also kind of like did enough that she also was kind of a subcontractor and started to do bigger projects but usually renovations and cabinetry but like big big like you know 20 years ago jobs that were like 200 000 in cabinets you know that's a lot of Cabins. Yeah. Boy. Because it's a lot of fancy places in Chicago. Huh. For the big thing in the kitchen was my dad. I remember, the only thing I remember from that time, because it was 2003. How old were you then? One. Oh, wow. I was a baby. Wow. I was so tiny. So tiny. But my skin looked exactly the same. Same skin. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Exactly like it is right now. Perfect, beautiful skin, but smaller. Perfect skin. Just smaller. No, you, but same skin. Stretched. Maybe better now, because stretch. Probably better now. Only four inches smaller, though. Huh? I just have the eye like you just always being sort of this height. I love that. I'm such a fan, Andy. Thank you for letting me sit next to you. You're welcome. But there was these like. That's the cruelest thing anyone's ever said to me. That's the cruelest thing anyone's ever said to you. The acid in that. Such a fan. I'm such a fan. Thank you so much for letting me be next to you. When I was on the podcast, I was in another room. You were in a different room during the fall? No, that is not true. That is not true. You become one of those. Yes. There was a window he put up the blind. He said, I don't want to see you while we're doing this. That's right. I'm a germ freak. Yeah. I love them. Now, Andy, speaking of you. Wait, they didn't finish that. No, it's fine. Nobody wants to hear about it. Fridge pullouts. My mother talked him into fridge pullouts. Did you get the fridge pullout? Pullout fridges. What? My dad was so mad about it. He went, we spent so much more money than I was planning on spending on these pull-out fridges. And then when he went to sell the house, it was the selling point. It was all people were interested in. So you made the money back. What? I'm sorry. Fridge. Yeah, yeah. Sure. You pull it out. The whole shelf comes out so that there's no digging in the back. You pull out the whole shelf. Wow. A shelf of fridge. Pull out cold. Cold fridge shelf. Sure. Pull it out. Okay. Okay. Yep. Andy. Yes. Speaking of. Speaking of. The internet dubbed you the people's princess. They did. During your recent turn on Dancing with the Stars. They did. Thank you. Yeah, that was a surprise. That's me. That's me in my Target lemon blouse that I wore once and my wife said, never wear that again. Now, did your time as people's princess end better than it did for the last one? It did It really did I'm talking about Princess Diana Dying in a horrible car wreck I was going to say I never let Frenchmen Drive me anywhere Then they maybe would have They're making a really expensive beanie baby of you Though aren't they I hope so There we go No we can cut that Elton John's writing a song Well he's retooling Crocodile Rock for me Is that about Princess Diana? Crocodile Rock is about Princess Diana. It's about me now, though. Yeah. Well, it was originally, yeah, now it's about Andy. Yeah, it sort of can be, it sort of adjusts. Yeah. You know? So I wanted to ask you about this because one thing you've said is that you had to get over what you have described as fat kid programming to be on the show. Yes. What is that? well fat kid stuff is just being a fat kid and getting like a sort of like a canker of shame that just becomes like a cyst in the center of your person and you carry it around forever and you can become like a very well adjusted person and everything but it's always there and because like I Like to me, I felt like going on Dancing with the Stars would be similar to like doing the president's physical fitness test, which we used to have to do. And it was like I could not do a pull-up. I could not. And then there was some sort of – I don't know how much of a run. It was like a long – to me, it seemed like forever. There were pull-ups on the test for you? Yes, there were pull-ups. They cut them when we were doing it. No, they cut everything. The test went woke, yeah. But there was some kind of longer run, and there was, you know, I wasn't even like the fat kid in our school. And in that run, the fat kid would beat me in the thing, which is, you know, I mean, I have the poisonousness in me too, you know, in saying the fat kid. But I just thought I'm going to be on this dancing show and all these people are going to see me and like this, you know, this horrible thing that I am because of my my weakness and my lack of willpower. And, you know, and like I say, this is all this is one little chunk of me. And there's a whole bunch of like there's a fucking egomaniac wandering around in the outside of that self-loathing. But I was really a candy shell. in a sense. Yes, precisely. Yeah, the thing that really draws people in. Yeah. Egomania. No, for sure. Yeah. But I just really felt like, oh, this is, you know, I felt like it was the president's physical fitness test and I was going to be like not be able to do it. And everyone would just see me and be like, oh, that's slob. And of course, no one really was going to do that. And then I started doing it and I could do it. And it really sort of like adjusted my view of myself. And I had also, too, started to just – I wasn't exercising enough. I had gotten too heavy. And in doing it – before doing it, I started to think about myself more in terms of my physical limitations. And it turned out, too, that, like, I needed a hip replacement, which I just got three weeks ago. And so I was messed up. Like, I had had all these issues with my left leg. you know just different things and when i started doing the dancing i was like oh i can rehearse dancing four hours a day for seven days a week i'm not limited like i can do whatever i want if i you know if i choose to go on a strenuous hike i could do that i could you know i'm certainly not running uh but but i could if i wanted to you have a who would want oh my god why run if not being chased. Did they let you keep the hip? Did you get the hip in a jar? No. And it's just the knob of the femur. But that's cool. Wouldn't you want that? Well, just to maybe make a stock. To put in some red beans, you know. Surprise the kids. Yeah, because collagen's so important. Everything's about collagen these days. Yeah, it gives a body to the broth. Yeah, it's sort of a savory quality too, right? Yeah, you can't put your finger on it, but that's a bone broth. No, they just, they lop off the knob of the femur, the ball of the ball. They lop off the ball of the femur? Yeah. Well, I imagine they saw it. You know, it's like that. And you're out. Yeah. You're out. And then the implant looks so much like a Hitachi magic wand that it's kind of sexy in a way. But it is a spike. It's a titanium spike. Huh. And I, my wife said, this is terrible of me, but I showed our soon to be six year old daughter. She was asking me about it. And I said, well, let's see if, you know, we can see video of what the surgery dad's going to get. And it's like that, that's that thing. It's like I said, it's a big titanium spike and there's no screws. They just go and just hammer it into your femur and it just gets lodged in there. And then eventually the bone grows around it. And my wife was like, what are you showing? I was like, she didn't mind. And my daughter was like, I don't mind. I like that. I like that you're talking about it. Yeah. I think that's a beautiful thing. Don't you, Vic? Bone grows around it? Around it, yeah, yeah. Like ivy? Yeah. Right, I love it. Yeah. I like it. Yeah. Bone grows around anything. Bone grows around anything. Are fingernails bones? No. I don't know. I don't think so. No, but fingernails are modified hair follicles. Hair follicles. That's what I meant. And are hair bones? Hair is bones. Teeth are not bones. Teeth are not bones. Teeth are bones. Teeth are not bones. Teeth is fish bones. Hair is fish. Fish bones. Super thin. Vic, you're on Ponies on Peacock and you speak Russian on the show. Are you as good at speaking Russian as that hot guy from that other show? No. Connor Story, absolutely not. I legitimately was, Fabian, who was our wonderful dialect coach, I kind of sort of bullied into at the end of shooting telling me that I was the worst Russian speaker he'd ever worked with. Wow. I just I don't know. I think if I wasn't going to be the best, I really needed to be the best at something. And I was the best at being the worst at it. Do you find that I find that I've often if that if I am going to like I feel like there are like carrot people and stick people. Sure. And like if I'm getting negative feedback, I'm getting worse and worse till I'm the worst. But if I'm getting good feedback, I'm like, I'm a puppy. Like, if you tell me I'm doing a great job, I want that approval. But do you have that like internal metronome of being like, I know this isn't going well. We know that this is like, this is tough. You know what I mean? Like, I feel like I, like when I'm playing games and stuff like that, even if I'm like, kind of like, I could still be in like winning Monopoly or something like that. If it looks like it's taking a turn, I'm like, we're just, I need to be the worst then. I need to lose big. Yeah, yeah, no, I get that. So Vic. Yes. You also are a veteran interviewer. Sure. As the host of The Dropouts, very important people in which you interview comedians, but they are hidden from you. Yeah. And I just want to show people a clip of what this looks like. Oh, gorgeous. Delicious. First wish. Candy bar. Biggest candy bar. Biggest candy bar. Yeah, a Butterfinger. I was only able to eat like two bites of it. Yeah. And then it started to melt. It was crazy You got a second wish Yeah Second wish I wish for my brother to come back from the army I'm a professional. Okay, so what's that about? Sort of the show in general. It really is the most fun thing in the world. I started doing improv. Have you done any improv? Just whatever's happening now. Yeah, great. I love that. It, and like you, you, you, you spend so long in improv doing it for like five people at a theater at like 11 PM at night, just begging people to come and watch. And so I, uh, I ended up getting sort of swooped up into like a group of us that started doing stuff over at college humor, uh, that then, uh, ceased to exist, uh, and then turned into the streaming service called dropout. And so it's like to be able to get paid to do improv is, uh, incredible. It's a dream. I never would have even thought that that was possible like five years ago. Have you seen much of Very Important People? Yeah, I've seen some of it. Oh, it's hilarious. It's really funny, folks. Oh, that's nice. It's really, really funny. I love it. Now, considering the volume of interview talent we have on stage right now, it didn't seem fair that I'd be the only person asking questions. So it's time for a segment we're calling Interview Roulette. So here's how Interview Roulette works. We are going to spin the Interview Roulette wheel, which will choose both the question and the person who will ask it to up the ante, you might get to ask the other two a fun, fluffy softball question or be tasked with throwing us a hardball. I genuinely do not know the questions. I am in it with the two of you. That is real. Are you both ready? Yes. Yes. All right. Let's spin the interview roulette wheel and see if this segment turns into something. Oh, I wish it was a real wheel. All right. Andy, you have to choose from the softball pile here. We'll hand that to Andy. Yeah, hand me a softball. Just to both of us or one of us? You choose. What's the weirdest thing you've ever seen a famous person do? This could be really hardball, though. That is true. Because the first one that came to mind, I absolutely cannot share. Why don't you just share it but anonymize the celebrity? Okay. I had a celebrity. And this is kind of weird but mostly kind of mean. I had a celebrity. For a survival job, I worked doing brand ambassadoring ambassadering and a lot of sort of like catering, which was mostly just sort of like walking around in tiny dresses, handing out hors d'oeuvres to people. And there was a party where a celebrity asked if, it was like a waffle cone with mac and cheese in it. And they were like, is there gluten in this? I was like, yeah, probably, but I can like double check. And she was like, you don't know already? And I was like, no. And she goes, let me talk to your boss. And I know. And then she called my boss over and my boss was like, you have to go home. We're still going to pay you for the night, but this person has complained enough about you not understanding the menu, so you have to go home. So that's kind of weird. Oh, I want to know who it is. I'll tell you off mic. I'm so sorry. And it's a good one too. It's honestly kind of exactly who you'd think. I have... Wow. Wait, is it exactly who we think? Probably. Cool. I wonder who we think it is. So I'll do, this is mine is, so I'm also going to not say who it is, but I will only say that it is someone who has been on this show. Wow. Did it happen backstage? Did it happen? It did not happen here. And I'm going to anonymize it. You will not know who I'm talking about. Did this thing happen and then you invited them on the show? I will explain what happened. Okay, I don't want to be so quiet. I was at an event and there was a celebrity there who was going to be on this show in a couple of weeks. And I had already known that and we had talked about that. And this person was excited to come on the show. I was and still excited to have them on, would have them on again. I consider this a story I'm telling with love. And so I went up and I said, hi, celebrity, I'm John Lovett. It's so nice to meet you. I'm so excited you're going to be on the show next week. We talked and like they introduced themselves back. We talked for a few minutes. It was actually an event where I had to like go speak. And so I went and I like go did a thing on stage, came back off, got a drink. Then I saw them again and I walked up to them and they said, hi, I'm so-and-so. I'm going to be on your show in a few weeks. I was like, what's happening? And I was like, oh, hi. Yeah, it's right. They did it again from the top. The whole interaction, like the first one hadn't happened. Like they reintroduced themselves. Like we hadn't had the conversation already. It was genuinely one of the strangest thing. It wasn't good or bad. It was just truly one of the weirdest things that's ever happened to me. Did a part of you chalk it up to your forgettability? Let's spin the wheel. I changed it. I kind of saw you as a hardball at the end of my softball. Oh, eek. All right, Vic, you have a hardball question. Thank God. Hardball. I said I only want a hard one. Okay. Oh, I'm so glad that I'm asking this and not answering. What is, we'll start with Andy, because you didn't get to answer one last time. Okay. What is a weakness in your talent that limits your success? And, oh no, I'm dyslexic. And, okay, hold on. Right. And which, stop, pause, and rewind, and which you avoid thinking about because it doesn't feel flexible. So to repeat that, what is a weakness? And so we'll take it clean. This is film. A weakness in my talent. So what is a weakness in your talent? You can't look at this just because I changed the word. That limits your success and which you avoid thinking about because it doesn't feel flexible. So like not something fixable. Wow. Oh, wow, wow, wow. Well, I mean, I have sang in public, but I am not a good singer. And I have been. Give us a note. There's no I can only sing I can only imitate people That's how I have to sing too That's why I can't sing But I can do Hugh Jackman And then I can do Russell Crowe I can kind of do it So singing would be one Can I ask a follow up question then? Of course you may Will you sing the Star Spangled Banner Like you're about to throw out a pitch at a baseball game? Right now? At least part of it Well, but I mean, you don't get to do both. You don't get to do both. You don't get to sing answer out of pitch? It's either or. This is a triple A game, so they're asking you to. Oh, okay, okay. You're a huge guest. They're psyched. Okay, here we go. Oh, say can you see by the dawn's early light. I think we've got to leave it there because I really want people to get to the next ad. What so proudly we hailed. I saw your monologue you're an anti-American that's right do I answer that question? do you want it one more time? what's a non-mind talent that I don't like to think about because it's not fixable I can't address it so why dwell on it? oh my god that's such a hard thing to think about should we bring one of your employees out here and ask them? I don't know if you can hear this cackling backstage. This is a good question for Hallie. Hallie, Hallie Kiefer, everybody. After you. Hallie, the hardball question is, what is a flaw in my talent that we don't, that we don't like to, that I don't like to dwell on because it's not fixable, so why think about it too much? I think, I believe the question was, you think it's not fixable, first of all. I would say, I think it's stand-up. I think that there is, you know what I mean we do this show I think there's a lot there's something in you that that needs to be on stage I think that you think it's like a skill you can't gain but really it's just reps but you have decided I can't be I can't I don't know whether it's like doing a one-man show there's something else on stage for you but you have decided that it can't happen and that's as far as my insight has gotten does that make sense how to keep everybody absolutely all right There's a line forming backstage Of people that want to turn Who else has a flaw in my mind I have some friends here Alright let's spin it again Pick me pick me Hardball for me Double hardball Alright Vic what's a lie you recently told Pass What's a lie I recently told I feel like often It is funnier to be honest about something And also it's just like I don't know, I think I'm a pretty honest person, except if I think it's going to hurt somebody's feelings and it's something that they can't change about themselves, you know what I mean? Then there's no point in telling the truth. Right. So probably something about somebody, somebody asked about something about their appearance or something like that and asked just sort of a question. And I think I just sort of was like, well, how do you feel about it? And they were like, great. And then I go, then me too. Oh, nice. Kind of a non-answer answer that I feel pretty good about. The then though feels like it admits something. If you feel great about it, then I do too. But that's not how your feelings actually work. Andy, when is the time that you lied recently? What's a lie you've recently told? The last one would be I was asked if I could do a voiceover session for commercial on Friday. And because of the general strike, I said I was unavailable, but I did not say why. I think I said, like, I have something to do with my kid because I just I didn't want to get into for some reason. you know, like I'm, I'm, I'm a dirty commie. Right. To these captains of industry. Yeah. Yeah. All right. When we come back, we're going to do some, uh, uh, constructive criticism. Hey, don't go anywhere. There's more of love it or leave it coming up. Love it or leave it is brought to you by stamps.com. It's staggering that to this very day, many small business owners are still making post office runs or are stuck with expensive postage meter leases. It's 2026, not 1926 mail and ship when you want, how you want with stamps.com with stamps.com. You can send from your computer or phone 24 seven, no long lines, no low supplies, open anytime, print postage on demand and get up to 90% off carrier rates like FedEx, UPS, and USPS schedule carrier pickups right from your door and get carrier compliant labels every time. No errors, no rejected mail, no wasted trips. It's perfect for your business and certified mail, Get document tracking to confirm deliveries and analytics to make sure you know exactly what you've sent and spent. 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Make sure to use our URL so they know we sent you. And we're back and we're back. I want to just, uh, we're not telling saying who it is, but I have a story about the person that you had a story about. Is that true? It's a very small interaction, but I was introduced to that person at a party years and years ago. And I wasn't, it wasn't like I said, oh, please introduce me to this celebrity. I didn't care. I was not seeking out the conversation. I did. It wasn't like I walked up to a group of people talking. You don't give a shit about that stuff. You're John Lovett. That's right, Andy Richter. And, and I was a couple of people I knew and I was introduced in this conversation and the person that was rude to you, I have never seen a person so aggressively look behind me like for someone else to talk to. And I, by the way, my eyes dart. I have, I have like kind of a meerkat energy and constitution, but this person was such, I've never gotten a worse vibe from somebody so quickly. I wonder if it was the same party and it's because they were sort of looking at the waffle cone and they're worried about the gluten and went, well, I'm firing someone tonight. And it was me. Andy, you grew up in Illinois. I did. Vic, you're from New Jersey. Sure. But you're so nice, no one would ever notice. A few days in the Midwest has really softened my edges. That or I have a debilitating frostbite. Either way, I thought we could use that Minnesota Nice to give some constructive criticism to people, places, and things that desperately need it this week in a segment we're calling Constructive Criticism. So here's how it works. We're just going to provide some Minnesota Nice criticism of something that bugged us this week. I'm going to kick it off. I'm going to talk about the Melania film briefly. And here's what I want to say to the corporations, the powerful corporations. You know, at least when Tom Homan, who is currently running the show in Minnesota, allegedly took a bribe, he did it surreptitiously in a kava bag and he hit it. He took the – we don't know what happened with it and whether or not it's an alleged thing that happened. Seems really – sounds like it happened, but we don't know. but he took a bribe but he clearly wanted nobody to know about it that shows us at least a little bit of respect currently all across America there are movie theaters that are empty they are empty because of a bribe every movie theater that has an empty room where Melania is playing for no one with empty Melania popcorn buckets is part of a bribe like they're not keeping it a secret at all they're doing popcorn buckets they are doing popcorn buckets oh my goodness Oh my God. And you know, even the people designing them were kind of mad because they're not even fun ones. It's just a picture of a popcorn bucket. We could have had so much. They're not mad. They're like, oh, okay, sure. There you go. Because if somebody was having fun, this would have been the top of the popcorn bucket and the chair. And she just sort of would have like folded over onto her legs. You know what I'm talking about? And then the popcorn would have been under here. Right. Like sort of, yeah, right. Like sort of a cool and interesting shape for the bucket. It would have been really fun. They cheaped out on the bucket. No, they said, no, thank you. They spend tens of millions of dollars buying this thing. They're spending tens of millions of dollars marketing this thing. It is for no one because it is a bribe. And the bribe is just in our faces. If you go look for movie times, there's the bribe. You can see it everywhere. And also just one note on the black and white design thing. It's like, God, they have the worst fucking taste in the world. It's like, oh, wow. I don't know. It's like, I guess she's been to the ugliest place in Vegas and got an idea. Um, that's neither here nor there, but to the corporations that are doing this capitulating, could you do it a little bit less brazenly in our faces? Could you be a little bit more bashful about it? You're just installing your, uh, acolytes at CBS. You're actively, uh, putting fake movies in theaters as part of this scheme to gain favor with Trump. Tim Cook is going to the premiere of an Amazon. He's from Apple, a competing streaming service going to the premiere at the White House for an Amazon movie. It's all just so in our faces. Is that true? Yes. It's just, I'll be a little bit embarrassed about it. And then clearly he felt embarrassed about it. So he put out a statement and the statement's like, yeah, I told him. It's like, did you, Tim? Did you tell him? And look, I don't, I got a new iPhone recently because my old one kept You don need a reason You got a new iPhone You deserve it honey You right I just bought it because I wanted it And we almost cracked. But so on the new iPhone, there's a button on the side that if you hold it, I think sometimes becomes the camera. Only sometimes. There's another button on the side. I don't know what that one does, but it does different things. If you hold it and if you tap it, you can change the settings, but it's deeply baffling how. and you never know what setting you've turned on. I have multiple devices that are all midnight blue, but they're all different midnight blues. And all I'm saying is if Steve Jobs hadn't decided to treat cancer with bone broth, maybe we'd have a different kind of leadership at Apple. So bone broth is the enemy. That's right. Yeah. You would have had a little bit of your hip in it. I think you would have been okay. All right, Andy, there was something that um uh uh wait did you have yeah christy no oh you want to talk about christy no yeah yeah just specifically um because i heard her say i heard i just saw something today where she said something about how everything i've done was at the bidding of the president and steven miller which is the beginning of the end hun like you should know and and i do feel like because she's from one of the Dakotas. I can't remember which. That's very close to Minnesota. So she's got to be used to being talked to like this. Making your face look like every other woman at Mar-a-Lago is not going to prevent him from blaming everything on you. The only exercise this man gets is throwing people under buses. And you are next in line. So you better just start now with the mea culpas and the blaming those guys. Yeah, I think that's right. Well, also, I just would say that this is a picture where she's pointing a gun at someone by mistake. Yes. And if you watch the video of this, the guy is so uncomfortable because it's like, this is not how you're supposed to hold it. Yeah, yeah. And, like, why does she have a gun? She thought he was a dog is the problem. Yeah. She's the Secretary of Homeland Security. Her job is meetings. And all of these things, It's like, look at all the stuff on that gun. Like, it's like, it's like, there's, there's like a hot dog warmer on it or something. Like all these different tubes and all of them have these, like, like what is in all these pockets? What do you guys need? Yeah. The NRA said no gun control, but you could have a hot dog warmer. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Right. Yeah. Yeah. I did like that statement. Like everything I did, I did because the president, Stephen Miller told me. And it's like, hmm, is that a statement you're making now or at a tribunal in five years? Yeah, yeah, exactly. Like, oh, you were just following orders? Where have I heard that before? I'm workshopping it for The Hague. Yeah. Vic, you wanted to talk about a coyote. Yeah. Okay. So finally, do we have a, here we go. Hey, little guy. So this guy swam to Alcatraz and was eating birds. and then was so, and just was so full on birds. And so this really isn't a note for him. I think he did an A plus job sort of like, you know, if you're searching for food, that's kind of, you know, perseverance and made it work and made it happen. Let's get those birds and iPad. We can't be so trusting. You know what I mean? They got to have a little bit of education. I think, I think I want them on YouTube. I want them watching video essays sort of about how the world works because we're sitting ducks and I think we can be educated ducks. You know what I I mean, because I do think if you're a bird on Alcatraz, you have it pretty good. You have it so good. Just buses and buses of kids coming through, dropping food on the ground. Dropping crackers and hot dog buns. You get lazy. You get lazy. Your guard goes down. And next thing you know, there's a coyote from the mainland. And you're going up to it and they're like, hey. Here's the thing, too. Like the dodos, like the dodos that would run up to the people off the boats and be like, what's up? and be like, mistake, I'm terrible. Yeah. I'm terrible. I'm going to kill all of you and everyone that ever knew you. Yeah. And here's the thing I was thinking when I saw that a coyote had swam, swam, swam to Alcatraz. I thought it was too hard to do that and that everybody who tried that died. Died going the other way. Yeah, because I thought Clint Eastwood died when he swam from Alcatraz. But it seems like if a coyote could do it, why can't Clint Eastwood do it? I feel like that has to be a tale that just, because have you been to the Bay Area? It doesn't look that far. And so here's my thought is that anytime a prisoner would escape, they were just like died. He died. He had to die. He died. I don't know. And just try and stop other people from doing it. But it was just, you know, it mostly was just pretty easy. And I think I think I seem to I mean, I remember reading about it years ago. And I think there were some people that made it, but they like got nabbed immediately. Like, I don't think anybody made the swim and then really sort of disappeared into the vapor. Here's the plan, though. you can't swim straight back to shore. You got to swim long ways. I think that's about riptides. Huh? What? Okay. And that's constructive criticism. Yeah. Yay. And everybody should catch Andy on Dancing with the Stars. There's a tour? There's a tour. You're going on tour? I'm going on tour. I'm going from the middle of February to the beginning of March and then the middle of April to the second week in May. You're seeing the Star Spangled Banner before they get started. I am. That's the first 15 minutes of the show because I scat a lot. No, but I'm going to be emceeing with my former dance partner, Emma, maybe doing a little bit of dancing too. I'm not exactly sure yet. I'm excited. I'm excited for you to get out there, get you greased up and out there. Yeah, yeah. Hey, let's grease up Andy Richter, get him dancing out there. It is a grueling tour. It is like they're doing like 97 dates. Wow. Yeah, like straight dates. Are you going to do all of them? No, no, no. I'm only doing like a total of about five weeks. That's cool. In two different chunks. But yeah, but it's on a bus. It is not, you know, it's a nice bus, but it's a bus. And you watch Vic on Ponies, which is streaming now on Peacock. Peacock. Peacock has ponies. That's true. And Vic has very important people on Dropout TV. Andy, you can listen to three questions with Andy Richter wherever you get your podcasts. When we come back, we have a few second thoughts. Okay. Hey, don't go anywhere. There's more of Love It or Leave It coming up. 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We stayed on this for too long. Yeah. What's funny about kitchens? Well, yeah, and then we couldn't sort of figure out where the out was. We just kept talking about kitchens, kind of like right now, where we sort of were like, do we move on? Do we keep on it? Yeah, like that. Now, producers are wondering if we should have second thoughts about the detailed play-by-play on the hip surgery. Don't agree. I loved every second of it. I thought that was good content. You pansies Let's see Oh I did set myself up for a burn by Andy In the part about celebrity Because maybe I just wasn't remembered Yeah yeah yeah That was tough biggest laugh of the night Did it feel that bad? No I could take it You know I love you I could take it I'm here He's here I thought it was a loving kind thing It was fun We're just joshing My love language is leaving the house for you Oh that's beautiful Like I do not do that for people that I don't love And for me, I'm there even if I'm not invited. I'm at the door. I'm knocking. I'm hoping somebody will open and I'm sitting down for dinner. My love language is acts of service. Okay. Oh, one second thought I have is I struggled to commit to the Minnesota nice style of criticism. I just kind of criticized people. Yeah, you did. I really forgot to be constructive. We did spend a lot of time backstage going, are we doing accents? for this and they were sort of like, yes, John for sure is going to do an accent. He's really excited about it. Yeah, and I didn't. And you were workshopping the accent we heard too. Well, I did workshop it a little bit, but then everybody said it sounded like I was making fun of Minnesota at a bad time. Can we hear one line? Is that crazy? Oh, I don't know. No, cutting it was good. I'm doing it. That was it. That was all. Oh, I don't know if I could say anything to the governor. See, it's not anything. This is why I have a second thought about doing that. Yeah. Do you have any second thoughts about the show, Vic? Just sort of in general? Yeah. Yeah, so I was here a couple of weeks ago and I stole mugs from your show. You have mugs backstage that just sort of live back there. And as a bit, we were all sort of bringing stuff on stage when we were getting introduced. And so I had two of your mugs. And I wish we had mugs here that I could hand out to the audience right now. So sort of as sort of a second thought for a different show that I was on. I'm related to this one. Ah, yes, we do. Can I hand out all of them? Is that crazy? I only had two last time and there's like nine. You should also include that you handed them out and that the house. So I did hand them out and then somebody in the booth, shout out to the booth, said you absolutely cannot take those. John's going to scream at me. Yeah. If you think the person we were talking about is bad, wait to see what I'm like back there. About your mugs. Okay. So can I give these to people? Yeah, give those out. Yeah. Okay. Wow. Wow. Here we go. Okay. I love this. And they're in the packaging. which is nice. They weren't in the packaging last time. Okay. Who wants one? Okay. Give me one compliment. I'm amazing. I'll take it. There we go. We have another one who's got a good compliment. Love my height. No. You love my jeans better. I'll give you another shot. You can't do the same one. You can't say jeans also. Say something about my personality. okay we'll take it there we go we have a few more yeah cool from being from new jersey i live there for let's say it with me eight months i love that we have one more up front here because then i can make my way back to my seat one compliment for me oh i'll take a lie there we go catching a stray whatever you better you better wash those fucking things now that the mugs are gone people are saying I love Andy first of all I just want to say to my friends at Dynasty Typewriter I am so appreciative that you defended the integrity of our mugs and you're like those mugs are part of the love it or leave it thing you leave those mugs alone America's sweetheart Paul F. Tompkins was like you can hand them out and the booth said no hell yeah have my back I see you thank you thank you thank you before we go if you want more Pod Save America, we've got great news. We launched OpenTabs, our new PSA newsletter. And now this Thursday, we're launching Pod Save America Only Friends, our new biweekly show featuring a rotating cast of me, John, Dan, Tommy, plus other crooked hosts. We'll dive deep into the news of the day, test out our takes, chase some tangents. Think of it as another chance to get a news update from us. So please, please, please, if you haven't yet, subscribe to Friends of the Pod. It is genuinely how we are building a sustainable, progressive media company to be part of this big pro-democracy media ecosystem that's taking on the right wing. And if we can keep building it, we can get information and not miss information to more and more people. So please, please help us at crooked.com slash friends. And that's second thoughts. And this has been so much fun. Vic Michaelis, Andy Richter. What a pleasure. Thank you so much. What a blast. So nice to have you. There are 276 days until the midterms. We will see you next week at Dynasty Typewriter. Have a great night and have a great weekend. Yay. If you're already scrolling endlessly, which we know you are, don't forget to follow us at Crooked Media on Instagram, TikTok, and all the other ones for original content, community events, and more. You can also find Love It or Leave It on YouTube for videos of your favorite segments and other YouTube-exclusive content. And if you want to type our praises or rip us a new one, consider dropping us a review. Finally, you can join Crooked's Friends of the Pod subscription community for ad-free Love It or Leave It and Pod Save America episodes, subscriber-exclusive pods, and more. Sign up at crooked.com slash friends. Love It or Leave It is a Crooked Media production. It is written and produced by me, John Lovett and Lee Eisenberg. Kendra James is our executive producer. Bill McGrath is our producer. And Kennedy Hill is our associate producer. Hallie Kiefer is our head writer. Sarah Lazarus, Jocelyn Kaufman, Peter Miller, Alan Pierre, and Suba Agarwal are our writers. Jordan Cantor is our editor. Kyle Seglin and Charlotte Landis provide audio support. Stephen Colon is our audio engineer. Our theme song is written and performed by Shursher. Thanks to our designer, Sammy Kodurna-Rees, for creating and running all of our visuals, which you can't see because this is a podcast. And thanks to our digital producers, David Tulls, Claudia Shang, Mia Kelman, Vilan Villanueva, and Rachel Gajewski for filming and editing video each week. Our head of production is Matt DeGroat, and our production staff is proudly unionized with the Writers Guild of America East. starting a business can be overwhelming you're juggling multiple roles designer marketer logistics manager, all while bringing your vision to life. Shopify helps millions of business sell online. Build fast with templates and AI descriptions and photos, inventory and shipping. 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