I THREATENED To Take My Sister To Court After Her Toddler Destroyed My Stuff | Reading Reddit

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Allgemeene voorwaarden zijn van toepassing. parts of the story please feel free to do so time stamps are always down in the description along with timeline below thank you it was from the am i overreacting subreddit from the user ok jelly six two nine eight and it said am i overreacting but threatening to take my sister to court after her toddler destroyed my two thousand dollar gaming setup because she said i should have baby proofed my apartment i read it i'm female 25 and i'm honestly at my breaking point with this one i need outside perspective because my entire family is acting like i'm hitler for standing my ground so i 25 female i'm a student software developer and a pretty serious pc gamer in my free time i live alone in a one-bedroom apartment that i've spent years making cozy and functional. I saved up for a long time to build my dream PC setup. Triple monitors, custom mechanical keyboard, ergonomic chair, the works. Altogether my rig is worth a bit over $2,000 and I take care of it like it's a damn child. Last weekend my older sister 30 female asked if she could crash at my place for one night because her apartment was being fumigated and her husband was out of town. She has a three-year-old son, Max, who, let's say, spirited. I love him, but he's a little chaos goblin. I hesitated, but she swore she'd keep an eye on him and that it'd just be for one night. They show up Saturday afternoon, and immediately is clear she wasn't kidding about Max being a handful. Within 10 minutes of arriving, he'd pulled four books off of my shelf, thrown my houseplants on the floor and spilled juice on my area rug. I tried to stay chill. He's three, I get it. But I asked my sister politely to please keep him out of my office where my PC setup is. She rolls her eyes and goes, he's just exploring. He's curious. It's normal. But she closes the office door anyway. Cut to Sunday morning. I wake up to screaming. Max had apparently woken up before his mom, managed to open the office door and decided my setup was his new jungle gym. He pulled down one of my monitors, cracking the screen. He stuck crackers into the PC's tower ventilation slots. I'm not kidding. Yanked out my keyboard's keycaps and had colored on my chair with permanent marker. The cherry on top, he poured apple juice into the tower. Into it. when i tell you i went silent i mean dead silent my sister comes in sees the damage and just says oh no in this incredibly flat tone like someone knocked over a cup of coffee i started freaking out she had the audacity to say you should have probably baby proofed the room if it was that important to you i lost it i told her that one she knew he wasn't supposed to be in there two this is my space not a damn daycare and three baby proofing a two thousand dollar gaming setup is not a standard requirement for adults living alone she told me to calm down and said that he's just a kid and stuff is replaceable i told her she could replace it then she said she didn't have the money right now but maybe in a few months she could give me a few hundred i told her that wasn't acceptable and that she needed to take full responsibility she left in a huff and now my whole family is blowing up my phone. My mom says I'm being materialistic and should understand that my nephew didn't mean it. My dad said I should have locked the door if it was that important. My brother actually said, why do you even need three monitors anyway? That's kind of overkill. I filed a claim with my insurance but there's no guarantee it'll be covered since it was technically guest damage. I also told her that if she does not pay up, I'll take her to court for what happened. Now I'm getting texts from my sister demanding an apology for blaming her kid for being curious. I told her I'd drop it if she covered the cost of repairs and replacements or at least met me halfway and she blocked me. So am I overreacting if I take my sister to court over this? So it was roughly around four hours later that OP came back into the post to give a little update and says wow just wow four hours later i wake up from my nap to this thank you guys it'll take a bit for me to read all of this my sister still has not unblocked me but her husband reached out to find out what happened i'm sorry i didn't have more to tell yet but i'll update again when i do seriously thanks for the insights everyone my head is a lot clearer now then eight hours later opie says hey all my sister's husband reached out as i mentioned earlier and we're working out a solution if possible he's been really understanding as have all of you also to clarify the office situation my one bedroom apartment is on the smaller side so the landlord converted an old ex-closed cabinet into a makeshift office it's weird but the building is from the 40s and i guess they had to get creative with a space with an old tenant or something so it's living room sister and her kids slept there plus kitchen i slept there plus the office thanks for the support and the award i really don't have the words for how nice people have been in both dms and the comments now i can't remember what i said the first time around on this but i imagine it's going to be similar and absolutely not overreacting in the slightest i mean i'm trying to put myself in the sister's shoes i bring the kid around which you graciously opened your house to her and then my kid destroyed something of yours that's a prized possession i'd be absolutely horrified and be doing everything i can to replace it to the best of my ability immediately the fact that she turned around and said that you should have baby proofed it is just taking the piss it's just about basic accountability and everyone else in this just seems to be missing the point the family piling on you your brother asking why you need three monitors it's completely irrelevant your dad turning around saying you should have locked the door it's fucking again it's irrelevant she's the parent she should be looking after a kid but there were some comments asking op questions one was about going no contact with the whole family for taking sister's side and opie's replied saying i'm not ready to go full no contact right now but i really appreciate your perspective it's definitely something i'll keep in mind if things keep escalating and no one starts showing even a little respect for my boundaries i just want accountability not drama but if they keep pushing I won't hesitate to step back. I don't think I want to know my family if they can't appreciate the work I put into my hobbies. As a bit of an update, my sister's husband actually reached out to me privately earlier and said he wants to figure something out He didn know the full extent of what happened He suspected my sister lied to him and yeah and he seemed genuinely sorry That gives me a little hope Part of what's made this so frustrating is that I work as a janitor, part-time too, and don't make a lot. I saved for years to build that setup and it's not even a year old yet. Seeing it treated like it's no big deal by my family members who know how much I struggle has been honestly disheartening. your advice about collecting evidence and presenting it calmly is something i'll definitely do just knowing i have a game plan and options helps a lot thank you one the office is a converted clothes closet the apartment is from the 40s and has a weird layout there's no lock on the door the door is just a heavy old one to be honest i've been wondering if my sister might have opened it for him i just don't get why two the crackers and juice weren't mine sister brought them i had no idea he had access to them during the night until after the fact. Three, I didn't get much notice. I saw a message around 10am Saturday and they arrived around 2pm. My place was a mess so I spent most of that time cleaning before they came by. In hindsight, yeah, I should have been more cautious with my setup but it didn't even cross my mind that anything like this would happen as I thought the office area was inaccessible to him. What he did pull off the shelves was moved higher up and out of reach and in an area where he could be kept an eye on someone says to op that she should have put her setup away before they came over as part of cleaning op replies saying are you my sister you're really sounding like my sister unblock me if you are but just in case i'm not talking about tidying up as in a few cans of this and that my apartment was a mess i don't live in a clinically ready space that can just be handed to a relative and toddler on short notice that four hours included making breakfast cleaning doom scrolling and bringing out the trash i don't understand this comment is it because i'm a janitor and should be quicker or something so it was roughly five days after that op came in with their first update and says hey again just wanted to post a quick update since it's been a little under a week and a few people asked what happened next things are better pretty fucking weird and still ongoing but here's where we're at last saturday my brother-in-law came over to check out the damage himself he actually brought max toddler with him which i was almost livid about at first but he had a reason he asked max to try opening the office closet door the kid couldn't do it the door was too heavy for him you probably can guess where this is going brother-in-law offered to take my pc to the store that originally built it for me just to see what was fixable i agreed but asked for something in writing just so I had some peace of mind. We put together a little agreement that he'd be responsible for it while it was with him. Yeah, yeah, it was just a formality and would not hold much merit anywhere, but it helped me feel a bit more in control. On Monday, he dropped it off at the shop and gave them my number so they could keep me updated. He also told me he confronted my sister about how things played out. I sent him my original Reddit post too. He read the comments and apparently showed them to her. she still hasn't unblocked me and from what i've heard was not happy about the fact that my brother in law is actually listening to me i also shared the post in some comments with my parents and brother since no one really believed me before my parents still don't fully get it but they've at least stopped pushing back my brother is more understanding now though for some reason he mostly wanted to talk about how many people saw the post i don't think either of those three still care really and i'm fine and if they see this do better anyway i went to see the pc today wednesday here the shop says it's mostly salvageable it needs a very very careful internal clean and a few fans replaced and some wiring fix but overall the main part survived somehow brother-in-law told me here cover the cost of the repair no hesitation when i brought up what my said about not being able to pay even 200 he said she's lying he also said he's not sure max actually did all the damage he thinks the door was left open on purpose and that my sister might have even done some of it herself based on the height of the tower and where the crackers ended up it didn't quite add up to a toddler acting alone apparently she's been telling him i have a gambling addiction i did get a bit hooked on genshin like four years ago i guess and that maybe this whole thing will wake me up which is new she used to be supportive or at least indifferent. No idea where that switch came from. So yeah, that's where we're at. My PC is being cleaned up and fixed and brother-in-law is covering the cost. Sister still has me blocked and won't talk to me. Still tempted to start something with her to be honest, especially if she actually did all of this on purpose. Still not ruling out small claims court depending on how things go. Thanks again to everyone who responded to the original post. Seeing how many people understood what happened really helped me hold the line with my family when I felt like I was losing my mind. One thing I've been turning over in my head lately is what if my sister did do something to my setup on purpose? I don't want to believe that. It feels like a stretch. But the more I think about it, the less so, I guess. But then I remember how she acted when I asked her to keep Max out of the office. The eye roll and the he's just curious comments like she didn't take any of it seriously. and now hearing from my brother-in-law that she's been saying i have a crippling gambling slash gaming slash whatever addiction and needed to grow up it's just weird she used to be cool with it never super into games herself but she got that it was important to me if something changed i don't know when or why and if this was some weird way to make a point or teach me a lesson that's messed up you're not our mom how about talking first instead of this i don't want want to jump to conclusions but the more i think about it the less it makes sense that max could have done all of that alone it's sick if she blamed her own son for it so yeah not accusing anyone outright but the thought is there now and if you're my sister reading this which i'm guessing you are because i'd bet you'd love to look at the comments that are on your side a lot i don't know why you blocked me i don't know what shifted in your head about all this but if you actually had anything to do with damaging my setup whether it was on purpose or just through complete carelessness. Fuck you. You know I worked hard for that. You know what that rig meant to me and you know I would never do something like this to your stuff. If Max really did all of this on his own, I hope you're paying closer attention now. Not for my sake, but for his. Read the comments on my first post again from other parents and people with younger siblings who clearly know better than you. That's all. Thanks for reading Those Who Did. so we have some more updates soon but someone said to op that it was suspicious brother-in-law immediately took op's side and probably a knows more than he lets on and b his wife did more on other fronts so he knows what she is capable of if you replied to him to be honest it sucks to admit but i think you're spot on brother-in-law is very calm a happy person but he seemed more resigned than anything when we met last weekend and i don't know i get asking about it might not be my place but I'm worried. Opie also said my chair is okay. The cushion, legs and back are stained with red permanent marker but I've learned to live with it. Coworkers and I are trying to find a chemical to fix the situation on the cushions but an ethanol solution, small amounts, I don't want to ruin the chair further has slowly been working at cleaning the other parts Being a janitor does have its perks Keyboard Eh I could not find all of the keycaps that were pulled off I replaced the missing ones with an old keyboard once both mechanical so it was a bit awkward but it works for now. I might get custom ones for it if I find some that fit. The cracked monitor on the other hand needs to be replaced. I guess calling it cracked was a kindness in itself. Still got the other two left and at least it wasn't the most expensive one, but yeah. and then someone says what sister told the defending family opie says my sister was talking incredible smack about me to them making it seem like i screamed at her child over a minor mistake opie also says i'll admit during covid i did spend 300 on ganyu when she came out but that was the worst of it and it was so worth it i don't play much anymore mostly stock on marvel rivals right now but the overall margin from genshin released to this day i've spent under $600. I get it, even that might look crazy to people who don't play video games, but sheesh, gambling addiction. Bruh. She should be more concerned of what I spend on Pokemon packs in this economy. If she's going to be concerned over something, we are waiting to see if my sister confesses to anything. If so, she'll be paying out of her own pocket and paying back, not my brother-in-law. If she confesses and refuses, then, well, and suggest legal stuff. The computer is essential but the keyboard works and i still have two monitors that's why i'm willing to wait for the other damage to be solved opie comes in with another update and says a few weeks ago i made a post not here about my sister's toddler three male almost destroyed my pc setup long story short she and her son were staying with me for a couple of nights he got into my office and the whole setup got wrecked with juice and cracker bits shoved into the tower the situation was awful when i asked my sister for help covering the damage she made an excuse and blamed me instead it became a whole family drama my sister blocked me and acted like the whole thing was my fault but her husband my brother-in-law reached out on his own he checked the damage himself helped take the pc in for repairs and ended up covering the cost because he was genuinely embarrassed by the way she acted he even started questioning whether their toddler could have done that much damage on his own especially after the kid couldn't even open the door by himself my brother-in-law thought maybe my sister left it open or did something herself within a week of that my brother-in-law confronted her and well she kicked him out of the house like full-on told him to get the hell out packed up his things dumped them and left them by the curb like he was a stray dog he told me she screamed that he was betraying her and taking the side of that fucking reddit bitch meaning me she also apparently accused him of conspiring and cheating on her with me to humiliate her publicly which what she hasn't let him see their kids since no visits no phone calls she's gone full black hole mode and is completely unreachable threatening cops if he goes near she's blocked me my brother even some extended family and it's only talking to our parents who are enabling her but i think it's only so they can keep max at arm's length meanwhile i'm hearing rumors she's been telling people i'm unhinged, psychotic, and that I made the whole thing up. She's told one of our cousins I lured her kid into the office like some kind of trap or setup. I don't know if this is postpartum related or if something snapped, or if she's just always been this vindictive and I didn't want to see it. But I'm scared. Scared for her kid. Scared for her husband. And yeah, I'm also scared for myself. Because if she's willing to ruin her whole marriage and turn the family against me just to protect the lie my parents want to keep it under wraps but i know my brother-in-law wants to get her help i want to get her help too but i don't know where to start or what to do what can i start with to possibly push her towards someone who can help her out has someone here dealt with a situation like this before i feel helpless as i know she is an adult and has free will but i fear for her safety and my nephew's safety as well my brother-in-law voiced wanting to divorce her and told my parents he will get his son whether they approve or not his side of the family is furious with mine i have no idea where i stand because yeah i guess i started this is this salvageable if so how what can i do who can i contact within the states is there anything i can do even does anyone know so the next update came six months later and it said hey everyone It's been a long while since I last posted, and honestly, I wasn't sure if I wanted to give another update at all. A lot has happened over the past six months. Some of it good, some of it really heavy, and some of it that I'm struggling to process. And I know a lot of you followed the whole thing from the beginning, and my direct messages have been full of so many awesome, supportive people. I feel as if I owe you all a final update before letting this matter go. First, the positives. my pc is alive and well and has been for a while the shop did a miracle job restoring it and it's running beautifully again it almost feels symbolic now like after everything blew up in my life at least this one thing that mattered to me is still standing i've gotten closer to my brother in law well ex-brother-in-law now i guess though it feels weird to call him that since he's still family to me he has full custody of my nephew and that little kid is thriving he's calmer happier and honestly just a joy to be around in ways i didn't even realize before and he turned four after all the court stuff ended so we could have his birthday in peace my brother-in-law has his own family helping him and i've been pitching into whenever i can it's exhausting at times but i don't regret a second of it my nephew deserves stability and my brother-in-law deserves support after everything he's had to go through watching him step up as a single dad has been inspiring now for the complicated part my family when things first went down my parents were still on my sister's side i was basically the black sheep but something happened during the legal proceedings that made them realize she wasn't well and that i hadn't been exaggerating about any of it for the first time in what feels like forever they stopped defending her blindly they actually reached out to me apologized and admitted they'd been wrong well kind of but i couldn't be asked to escalate it again it's been slow and they've been trying to rebuild things with me part of me resents that it took them this much to finally see the truth but i'm also relieved not to be completely estranged from my parents anymore i'm still trying to decide what kind of relationship they deserve to have with me after all of this as for my sister i don't even know where to start during the custody battle she completely broke down a lot of stuff came out including the fact that she had broken and damaged other people's things in the past friends her co-workers stuff intentionally she admitted she did it because in her words brother-in-law owed her more as the mother of their child and destroying things was her way of making him notice her she also said something else that stuck with me that when she broke things she felt powerful she said people underestimated her ignored her treated her like she was just a mom when she destroyed something she knew she couldn't be ignored it forced people to react and it sure did i know some of the people witnessing this in real time still pity her which i don't know how to feel about it still it explains so much of her behavior not just with the pc but with her marriage with our family and how she spiraled She wanted to feel like she mattered, that instead of asking for help in a healthy way or seeking support she turned to control and destruction And when that wasn enough she escalated Writing that out makes me feel so sad honestly It like everything I suspected about the PC wasn just a suspicion and to think all of this could have been avoided if she sought help or accepted going to couples therapy properly. Apparently, my brother-in-law had suggested it a few times to her, but she declined. After she lost custody of my nephew, things spiraled fast. She had a complete breakdown, and long story short, she's now in jail awaiting transfer to a psychiatric facility. I don't want to go into every detail, but it's safe to say it'd be a long time before I see her again or want to see her again. And here's the part I can't quite make peace with. I feel bad for her. I know that might sound crazy after everything she put me through, after how she tore through our family and after what she did to her own son, but she's still my sister. There's still this ache i can't quite get rid of because i don't know if the person she is now is who she always was or if something in her just snapped along the way i look back on our childhood and teenage years and wonder if there were signs that i missed if there was some pattern of behavior i brushed off as moodiness or sibling rivalry that was actually something worse what complicates these feelings even more is everything that happened after my post started spreading i never expected them to blow up the way they did i just wanted an outside perspective because my whole family was gaslighting me making me feel insane for protecting my own belongings and suddenly it was everywhere on twitter youtube tiktok even some news articles was made about it someone tagged me to let me know that smosh had even featured my story which was surreal and honestly sort of humiliating in its own way even though being noticed was kind of cool i guess strangers were debating my family like it was some kind of reality tv show i had no control over it at first i was grateful for the validation but over time it started to eat away at my conscience even my post public turned out to be a mistake i know hindsight is 2020 but i regret not locking them down sooner by the time brother-in-law's lawyer told us it would be best to hide everything the damage had already been done my sister had already seen the comments and the full force of the internet turned against her and she was hyper fixated on it and it's just not me speculating either one of our cousins told me she would rank constantly about it during the legal proceedings always bring it back to the post and how i publicly humiliated her apparently she would spend hours scrolling trying to dig up my post looking for new comments even after i hid them it was like pouring salt into a wound and she couldn't stop picking at it i keep asking myself if I made things worse by letting it stay up for as long as I did. If I gave her more ammunition for her paranoia or if I pushed her further towards the breakdown that ended with her losing everything. Part of me feels like I've failed her. Like maybe if I'd been more careful she wouldn't have spiraled so badly. But then another part of me reminds myself that it wasn't the internet that broke her. It was something already inside her. The post didn't cause her to smash my PC or to lash out at brother-in-law or to neglect their own child. Those were choices she made long before Reddit ever came into the picture. I realize there's no point in deleting them. Even if I scrub my entire account clean, the internet never forgets. Copies are out there somewhere, archived and dissected on forums I'll never even see. I can't control that, no matter how much I might want to. What I can control is how I move forward, how I take care of myself, my nephew, and the family I still have. The truth is moving forward has been a mixed bag. On one hand my daily life feels lighter without the constant chaos of my sister's presence. I'm not coming home to find something broken. I'm not waking up to accusatory texts and I'm not walking on eggshells waiting for the next outburst. That alone has been a kind of freedom I didn't realize how badly I needed. On the other hand there's this strange emptiness where she used to be. Even if her presence was destructive she was still there part of the fabric of my family and now there's just this jagged hole my nephew asks about her sometimes he doesn't fully understand what happened of course he just knows mommy is sick and can't take care of him right now brother-in-law and i try to keep our answers simple but the truth is i don't know what kind of relationship if any may be able to have with her in the future i think about that a lot because no matter how much i've been hurt by her i can't help but imagine what it feels like for him one day when he's old enough to learn the truth how to explain to a child that their mother did what my sister has done how can it ever make sense to him i don't know what to do when the day comes that either brother-in-law or i have to explain what happened as for me i've been in therapy since all this started recommended by some of the lovely people in the comments and in my direct messages thank you at first it was just a way to vent but it's become essential to be honest my therapist keeps reminding me that none of this is my fault and that my sister's choices were her own i didn't ruin her life by posting about the pc and that it's not my job to fix her i hope to one day believe everything that my therapist is telling me as for my sister i don't know what the future holds for her or if she'll ever get better but if anyone has any problems like this maybe be a bit more careful than i was i spent the last months worrying i'd get charged with something for causing emotional turmoil over a reddit post on a positive note the stress caused me to get reconnected with an old hobby retro electronics did you know the 3ds is now considered retro now i didn't i feel old i'm the same age as pokemon crystal anyways from now on i'll be focusing on graduating and working to help my brother-in-law pay off the debt that accumulated during the legal proceedings and investigation but now that it's over it's nice to know that at least for the coming months things should be peaceful for me and those that matter the most to me thank you to everyone who followed this from the beginning and firstly i hope op is doing much better it sounds like they're moving in the right direction at the moment you know carrying that much guilt when you were just defending yourself it's got to be exhausting right and it's got to be painful at the same time she deserved to be validated in this because none of this breakdown was on her but like op and op said it's weird and you know sometimes i find it the same as well but i do feel that i do feel for the sister too when she said about breaking things made me feel powerful it sounded like someone that was that was going through something themselves whatever it may be and chose destruction over just asking for help obviously mental illness doesn't excuse what they did and i just find it sad at the same time and I think for OP you know you can have empathy for someone's pain and still hold them accountable at the same time and I really do hope that the psychiatric care does help her out for her sake because as I always say the alternative is staying stuck in this destructive loop forever and it that would just be heartbreaking for everyone involved I think you know the relationships may never repair between or any of these people but having someone out there who wants to destroy stuff to get any kind of feeling is just you know it's counterproductive in the end isn't it i don't know maybe i'm talking shite let us know your thoughts down in the comments below but just a huge thank you for being here today getting involved in the stories your love your support your time it always means the absolute world to me so thank you so so much for being involved and hopefully i'll see you in the next one take care and much love you