What We're Learning in Marriage: An Honest Q&A | Sadie Robertson Huff & Christian Huff

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They also have, like I said, so many meal ideas, which is so great to have all of that in just one app in one place and then send it right to your door. So I know you're going to love hunger root as much as we do for a limited time. Get 40% off your first box plus get a free item in every box for life. Go to hunger root.com slash woe and use the code woe. Again, that's hunger root.com slash woe with the code woe to get 40% off your first box and a free item of your choice for life. What is up everybody? I hope you're having a great week. It's about to get so much better because we are going to have a great conversation. This has been a long time coming. You asked, she finally listened. I feel like Christian is in a really silly mood today and so am I. So look, bear with us. It's going to be a great conversation. Actually, we opened this one up to the DMs and we're like, Hey guys, what questions do you have for me and Christian? And honestly, it was like, you're making it sounds like casting. I'm not serious. No, you all flooded the comments. I know I'm being serious. And so our team helped us kind of put together these categories of like fun questions, dating questions, marriage questions, faith questions, kid questions. So we're going to cover a little bit of it all, but we're going to start with some fun questions. I'm going to start with one that I want to hear. What is your favorite thing about each other? Well, you go first. Well, you said we're going to start super funny and then you said fun. But you also said funny. Tell me how much you love me. You also said funny. Well, it could be funny that I'm hilarious. You have had some some things lately. You say. Why would you say that? No, no one could hear that. Favorite thing about you is. You're a real star. No, no, no, my favorite thing about you is your fun to hang out with. Oh, you are always my go to. If I like who would I hang out with? And so you're always the first one. Wait, that is actually really sweet. You were funny. We've been watching the World Series together. We've been we've been vibing. We have we have it vibing. That's true. My favorite thing about you is. So it's humor looks. I mean, I don't know how low. Hello. Let me scan my list real fast and decide which one I'm going to say. Oh, my gosh. OK, the mind's a little bit more serious, but you are so open to people speaking into your life, and that is like one of my favorite things about you. That is very kind. It's true. And I've been reading through proverbs. I actually finished it on the way here. I've been listening to proverbs, I should say. So I've been listening to proverbs. And one thing that's been a consistent thing is talking about like being willing to take instruction and how like the fool won't listen to instruction, but the wise, you know, continue to learn and you do that very well. I listen to people that I trust. Yeah. So if you're in the comments right now, roast me for something I just said, I'm probably not going to listen to you. So let's just clarify who I'm going to listen to. Yeah. Well, we know my haters. Well, also. But those that love me. On that note, we just listened to it. I guess our actual church service on Sunday was about the voices we listen to and like having the right coaches in your life. Having a good coach. So it does matter. You know, you don't listen to everybody, but you do take instructions from the ones you trust. And I am, I learned a lot from that from you. That is really sweet. Yes. OK. Next question. Favorite. No, sorry. Funny story from this past week. Yeah, it's got to be honey's bedtime. Well, you started a sweet little night time routine that you saw on social media. I did. So my mom, I actually shared this on social media. Like she reshared it and I read the whole article. And it was so cool. I was talking about how whenever kids, like instead of just doing a bedtime story at night, like reading a book, if you tell them about your day, it's actually shown to improve their language like dramatically. It actually said they I think they interviewed like 700 or they did a study with like 700 families. And the one who told their kids what they did during that day and in detail. It's like, you know, I went to work today and there was a moment where I got stressed, but I overcame it and then I ended up having a great day. Like you actually go through how you felt in the day, how you overcame emotions during the day. They said that their language was a whole year in advance. And the other kids who had not, you know, heard about their parents day. I thought that was really interesting. And I had just had somebody tell me that honey's vocabulary is like really amazing. And they said they're like, I can tell that y'all talk a lot because she talks a lot like you. And I was like, well, yeah, she never. We do talk a lot. Honey never stops talking. And they said, but specifically I can tell you don't talk to her like a baby because she talks like an adult. And I was like, that's really cool. So anyways, I was like, I'm going to start incorporating that more and see if I see, you know, changes in their vocabulary. So this is fresh. We've literally started this two nights ago, but it was so cool how automatically we saw something shift. So I was telling them about my day and I told them I went to work and, um, you know, I just started going back to work. So sometimes that can be kind of hard, but I did my podcast. It was really fun. So I'm telling them about it. And then this is so cool. Haven, who's two years old, she goes to pray and, you know, sometimes two year olds prayers are just like repetitive. They sound the same every night. They're a little bit funny. Um, but she actually said, thank you God that mommy got to go to work today. And she started praying for my day and for my work. And then, um, honey did too. And she prayed for my work. And I just started noticing that they were like incorporating my day in their prayer life, which is like so cool at two and four. Like what? That's amazing. And so, um, we've definitely seen something shift in that, but the funny thing was that last night or that same night, we were talking about where mom and dad are because they're on a trip. And so we talked about that earlier in the day. And so when it came time to pray, honey's praying for K mama and dubs. And she stopped and she said, what city is K mama in? And I said, oh, she's in Scotland. And so she said, okay, God, thank you for Scotland and Vicki that came to mama's in Scotland. So then last night she's praying again for K mama. And I can't remember what the word was. And she was like, and God, thank you for came out being in. It was Salatoria Salatoria. I should have looked up if Salatoria was actually a place. We went from Scotland to Salatoria, but hey, it was. No, but it was like, there was no hesitation. And I thank you for came out being in Salatoria. It was just confidence, which was, which was the funny part. It was so funny, but it is really cool to see that even in two nights, like I definitely have seen their thoughtfulness, you know, like they're like thinking about what they did in their day and what I did in mine, you did in yours. So that's pretty sweet. Another funny story because I saw that someone asked what's Christian's favorite college football team. So first I'll let you have your moment. Who's your favorite college football team? Auburn. That's where I went. But, um, where you go? Yeah, where you go? Yeah. Being an Auburn football fan is like. They pretty much equates to like the spiritual warfare that I go through. It's whatever. I'm being, it's like. It is not being an Auburn football fan is literally one of the hardest things to do and to still be faithful to it. Well, the problem that you go through and I see this week after week is like, you get your hopes up so high. And, and it's like, no, this, like these players in this stat and bull bull and like, we're going to have the best season ever. And every, every year I've known you for the past six years, I guess, as we've been married, I won't count the first year. I've had no enough about football. So don't really. But I would be like, okay, why don't we just not get our hopes like all the way up and then it can be like such a great surprise when they dominate. When you've reached the mount on top, like we have before 2010, 2013 was another one. It's tough to face the valleys and we've been in the, we've been in the, the, our valley has been a long, just plateau. Hey, you are so faithful though. And I support that. But it is, but being an Auburn fan is, it's, it can be, it can be miserable, but it can also be exciting. One thing we also realized this week, as we've been watching the World Series and Christian loves football. So we talked about that a lot because it's fall is I started thinking how many athletes, like professional athletes can I name? And this is really funny because Christian recognizes everybody like we'll be somewhere, he'll be like, oh, that's so and so. I'm like, how do you know that? How do you recognize these people? And he like always. We're watching the Dodgers game and they were like panning it on this person that had this like crazy blonde hair. And they were like, I don't know if they were making fun of the guy, but they were like trying to show this guy's hair. And the person next to him was Dave Franco. And I was like, that, what are the odds that they're trying to showcase this? So he's like, look, Dave Franco, I think it was James Franco. And then we were like, I was like, oh, I would have never recognized that. And then next thing you notice, you're like, oh, there's Magic Johnson. And I was like, I would have never noticed that. And then I just wouldn't have noticed. So then I'm like, you know, to be honest, I don't know how many professional athletes I can even name. So we go through every sport and I could only name off the top of my mind a total of 10 athletes. And that was including football. Wait, that was NFL NBA MLB tennis. WNBA. WNBA. Oh, no, I didn't count with WMID. I'm at 12 if we count that. Okay, sorry. Caitlin Clark. You're not counting WNBA. And then no, no, no, I just didn't count that in the list of things I was doing. I only knew like the super famous was like Steph Curry LeBron. I think that was the only NBA players I knew. And then you know more retired NFL player game was strong, though, because I watched quarterbacks and receiver. That's the only reason. Yeah. So in Travis, Kelsey and Patrick Mahomes does not count. They do count. Do count. Does not count. They don't count. I'm back to 10. Okay, whatever. We'll stick with 10. Well, it's been a fun week, babe. We've had some good laps. We have. I remember whenever we started low and I had all the what ifs. What if I fail? What if it isn't where I need to be? And looking back, I can see so clearly that God had his hand in the whole thing. Starting something new is exciting, but it's also very scary. And that's why I'm thankful for Shopify. Shopify is the commerce platform behind millions of businesses around the world. And 10% of all e-commerce in the U.S. From massive brands to tiny startups, team low starts on Shopify every single day for managing inventory and staying on top of orders. It just works. You can build a beautiful online store with templates to actually match your vibe and their AI tools are game changers. They help write product descriptions, page headlines, even enhance product photos, plus everything's in one place. So inventory, payments, analytics, and they have a 24 seven customer support. It really feels like you have a built in business partner. I think it's so amazing for anyone starting out a business. This is the place to do it. Like I said, we do it for low. Duck commander does it. It's just honestly very simple and does everything for you. It's time to turn those what ifs into. With Shopify today, sign up for your $1 per month trial today at Shopify.com. Slash, whoa, go to Shopify.com slash, whoa. Again, that Shopify.com slash, whoa. All right, let's get to some a little bit deeper questions. Let's go to the faith based section, which also I love that you guys trust us enough to ask us such deep questions and such fun questions too. I think that's just like the balance of life. You know, you're laughing one minute, you're crying the next, like that's just how we go through life together. And so we love that y'all want to dive in deep and we're going to do our best to answer some of these questions. So what life lesson are you learning right now? Real talk, real time hit us, babe. Real talk, real time. Um, yeah, parenting, honey is, uh, the greatest joy and also one of the greatest challenges, um, and haven and kit, but specifically with honey, just cause she's articulate, well, haven is too, but honey's like, it's actually funny, stands disciplined and those kinds of things. I didn't mean to interrupt, but it's funny because you do have a harder time with honey's age and I have a harder time with Havens age. Like honey is a little bit easier for me. Haven's harder for me, but. Well, if honey treated you the way she treats me, it would be hard to treat you. So don't, don't be, don't, don't be I something like it ain't that difficult. Um, but for honey, she's like, so, so what I'm trying to say is the discipline honey is hard because she's very strong and very stubborn and she gets that from, um, one of us or maybe two of us. Just kidding. She's definitely gets up from you. I don't know why we're leaving that up for question. She gets the stubbornness from you. She gets the strong will from me, but you are, you're both of those two. But, uh, but I'm saying that to say, I actually, I actually thought you were talking about yourself. We're not that way. Yeah. I just thought you were talking about yourself. So that's really funny. Okay. Well, what I was saying was I'm trying to get back on track here. Um, okay. No, don't pause. Why are we pausing? It's totally not. You're talking about yourself and that made me laugh. Cause I quickly realized I was like, oh, you actually aren't talking to me. I was talking about both of us. Don't pause this. Just keep it rolling. Um, but what I was saying with honey is that she's very strong in the sense of like, she's, she's very opinionated. So if I, if I give in to what she's wanting the request, then it, then there's really no conflict. There's no, there's no. Issue or whatever. But the problem is she's very strong in what she wants, whether it's laying about at night and the other night she had a, I gave her a water with ice cause that's what she wanted. And I put the top on it and she did not want the top on it. And it was a whole meltdown and then ended up getting me frustrated. Her frustrated. It was embarrassing cause I got way too mad, which we had to talk about that. So I'm saying that to say in the instant, I could have just taken the top off and there'd have been no conflict resolution solved, but to discipline her of like, Hey, you can't get everything you want. And if I give in to giving everything you want, then there's no, then there's going to be a bigger problem when you're older. And I think that's the thing for me that I'm, that I'm having to realize is the, is the, the temptation to just give in to what she wants in the moment because she's upset or frustrated at something. And in turn, I have to be more patient and have more self-control, which is very hard for me. Those are two for to the spirit that, um, that I kind of can lack at times. I cannot be very patient when, when she is, um, having a fit, so to speak. Um, and yeah, so I've had, I've had to fight that temptation of just giving her what she wants in the moment, but not doing that because I know, you know, in the future, uh, she'll be stronger because of it. So that's the thing that I've been learning. Hey, that's really good. And one thing we've been talking about is like, how do you stay patient yet also firm and not let your emotions switch to anger or like frustration? Because I think that's the thing we've realized both of us. It's like you feel bad whenever you discipline out of anger or like emotion, because it really isn't as like to me, that's not like effective discipline as you really want it to be. Because then they're more upset. Your mark says like an emotional thing where instead it's like, you know, I'm going to be level headed. She can't control her emotions. I can control mine. So I'm going to be level headed and I'm going to be stern and I'm going to be firm on my decision, but I'm not firm out of anger. I'm not firm out of like over emotional. I'm just making that decision. Yeah. And that's the thing I've been trying to learn. That's the thing that you're learning is like being stern and not being angry and how like there is a difference in the two. Like you can be like firm in a decision, but you can do that with like a level head. And we were actually using the example of like whenever there's an emergency situation, like everybody actually listens to the person who's most calm in the room who like stands up on the stage and is like, Hey, everybody, you're going to go out this side door. Everyone single file line. Like the person who like takes control of the situation. Not the person that's like, everybody. What's the problem with that? I feel like I'm that guy for the first like five times that I'm trying to, but then eventually if no one eventually if no one listens to that dude, he's just going to lose it. And that's where you see what I'm saying. I see what you say. Everyone calm down. Then everyone, if everyone's not, that's the thing. Eventually the guy's like, Hey, listen here. That's what we're learning. That's what we're learning. But what I'm saying is like with the top situation, this is real time parenting that we're discussing. And one thing I will say before that was the music for advice that we're learning right now is like, and this is actually advice our parents gave us. My mom was telling us this and I thought this was really good. She's like, y'all are going to have to wrestle it out like behind the scenes. You know, like parent do thing. And then they're like, Hey, I'm going to do this. Like parent do thing. And then after like come back and talk about it, like how could you have done that better? And I think that's been really helpful for us because we have these moments where it's like, okay, the top situation, the lid situation. And okay, we got a little too mad. We, she got very upset. We had good conversation. We went to sleep. The whole thing was fine. But we come back and we're like, okay, that didn't go great. Like how could that have been better? And one thing we were talking about is just saying, Hey, I need the tops going to go on the cup because that's the way it's going to be. Because we're not going to spill the drink in the bed. If you don't want it that way, then I'll go put it back in the kitchen and you're not going to have water tonight. So that's like the period. I made a decision. I'm firming it. I'm not angry about it. If she continues to cry, then you say, I'm so sorry that you're upset. I wish, I wish that you, you know, weren't, but I love you. I'm going to lay with you where to go to sleep. So it's just like not. That sounds great. No, but that, but that. I'm saying, I'm saying that sounds great in the sense of like, yeah, I wish I could do that. And we're learning that. That's what I'm saying. Like it's good to rehearse what we could have maybe done differently now and also factor in a four year old screaming at you. So that's why it's hard. And that's what I'm saying. Like, I know you want to burst out in anger. I know eventually it makes you want to snap, but I think because toddlers can't control their emotions, we have to learn to control ours and you can be totally firm and be the disciplinary and not be over like that, not be overridden by anger or like. Yeah. That's the thing. How to be stern, but not angry and too aggressive. Yeah. So that's good. That's good. Are you learning anything? I'm learning a lot right now. You're learning how to deal with me when I get like. No, I'm learning so much right now and you know that. You're learning proverbs. I think I'm learning proverbs and hey, if you got to listen to proverbs for me, I like have been listening. I actually finished it in like four days just listening. Just because I needed to listen to proverbs. I was like, I really need some wisdom in my life right now because I felt like I was struggling in some areas. I'm learning how to wrestle my problems out with the Lord and not with just people. I feel like I wrestled them out with you, but I feel like I would have a tendency to like go to people and talk about a situation, talk about a situation like, whereas now I'm like, okay, Lord, can you just help me to forgive this person? Can you help me to learn how to control my tongue? Can you help me to learn how to sit in this feeling of being misunderstood because those are the things I'm wrestling with right now. Like I feel like you've watched me kind of wrestle with this feeling of being misunderstood in a certain situation and it's a, that's a hard thing to wrestle out. And the thing you want to do is go to the person and talk it out, blah, blah, blah, but sometimes that's not beneficial. And so for me, I'm like, I'm learning how to wrestle out with the Lord. And that has been so sweet. You know, whenever I put Kit down at night, there's that big giant mirror in her room that is like our Jesus mirror. It's actually one that we did at a conference where somebody actually painted the like interpretation of Jesus on the mirror. And some nights I'm in there and I'm on my phone, but recently I have just been like looking at that mirror and looking at Jesus eyes and it's like, okay, anything I need to go with my chest today, anything I need to repent of, anything I just need to ask you Lord. And I've just been asking God for advice and it's been so helpful and through asking God for advice, that's what led me to reading Proverbs. And that has been very beneficial to me. I think the theme that I learned throughout the first time of listening through, I want to continue to listen through and see what sticks out to me next time. But this time it was the idea of taking instruction and listening to other people's advice and having humility. A loved outlet said humility comes before honor. I think so many times in our life, like we want to be honored. So we try to act like we have it all together, but it's like, no, actually have humility and learn in the mess and the hard things. And then eventually one day, maybe you will be at that place of honor where you can speak in, but you know, don't just try to have it all together. Like actually just learn, let people speak in. And the second thing I'm learning through the first time listening through is just the power of holding your tongue. There is so much wisdom in being able to hold your tongue and not speak when it's not time to speak or not babble or not just go on. And there are so many warnings and Proverbs about like where words are many, sin is not absent. And I think that's really true. And especially as women, I feel like it's just so easy to talk. And I just feel like that's not always beneficial, you know? And so those two things stuck out to me. Another thing that stuck out to me was strength, like just what a blessing it is to be like a strong person. I was talking about like, blesses, a man who doesn't faint in adversity in the days of adversity, but has strength today. Proverbs 31, talking about like a woman who is strong, you know? And so I don't know, I felt like even in four days just listening to Proverbs, I've learned so much. And that's because again, I needed to learn a lot. I was struggling. That's great. Good job. So, let's read Scripture to your kids. Where do you start when you want to teach your kids to memorize Scripture? This is funny because we have not done a lot of this, but we did actually do this this week and it was really sweet kind of what happened from it. We were all sitting at breakfast and my Bible was on the table and I was like, hey, let's read Scripture. And I pulled out Psalms 23 and I thought that would be an easy one to go to because it's the Lord is my shepherd and their cousin's name is John Shepherd. So I knew they'd get excited about that. So I was like, okay, do y'all know what shepherd means? And they're like, shepi. And I'm like, it was shepherd actually is, you know, someone who tends to sheep. And then Haven's like, bah, like it was so cute. Like that was a good one to start with. You're going to start somewhere. That was a really good one. And then so I start reading it at the Lord is my shepherd, I shall not want. So I stop and I'm like, okay, let's talk about what that means. And Christian, you want to share kind of what happened because it's pretty cool. Yeah. Yes, you said the Lord is my shepherd, I shall not want. And then you kind of went into explaining it. The idea of God's all we need. We should, you know, we don't need to want anything because we lack nothing. And for some reason, and obviously the, you know, the Psalm goes on to talk about lying down in green pastures and besides, he leads me besides still waters. But for some reason, I never made that correlation to like the Lord's my shepherd, I shall not want. And then these things follow. I've always, because there's a comma between the Lord is my shepherd comma, I shall not want. And I think most of the time when I've read it, I've thought about it from the context of the Lord is my shepherd, I shall not want. And David has so many honest Psalms about things he struggles with and, you know, cursing his enemies and asking God to wipe them out, but then also his wrestle with Israel and with God. So I always read that Psalm as the Lord is my shepherd, I shall not want this, this, this inkling of like us as humans, sometimes we don't like to be guided. Sometimes we don't like to be led. We want to go do things our own way. But it was a, it was like a humble prayer of the Lord is my shepherd, I shall not want. And then these things follow when I do surrender to, to allow him to lead me. So I, I don't know. And that's not the right context of which it's, it's, it's written in. Um, yeah, I learned that. It was cool because Christian was like, Oh, never thought about it from that perspective. And I was like, I've never thought about it from your perspective. And then we were like, well, let's look into it. So then we opened up the commentary and I was able to read the commentary. Meanwhile, like, you know, Haven's just kind of sitting there running around doing little things and honey's listening. And we're talking about the context of scripture. And then we're like, okay, so it does mean like I need to be content with what I have, which led to a great conversation for us with hon, because we've been talking about contentment and, you know, toys she has and overabundance and how, you know, we need to be generous with our things and you don't need all of this stuff to be content. So we've been trying to work with her on bringing toys, you know, to different places to give to kids who might not have toys. And so, um, it was just cool how like what we were reading actually really did speak right into the lessons we've been trying to work with her in. And not only that, but it actually helped us. We grew in that moment. We learned something new about God and the word. And so all that to say, um, we'll definitely be doing more of that. And I don't think that your kids are necessarily ever too young to start speaking scripture over their life. I mean, we're already a prayer over kit, you know, all the time worship over her, say scripture over her. Um, of course, she doesn't understand, but it's amazing as soon as I start worshiping over her, that girl lights up. She gets so happy. And so, you know, I always think about, I'm like, when they were in the womb, if it says God knit me together, my mother's womb, I feel like the womb is such a holy place that like, I feel like we don't know, you know, how God meets them in those spaces and, um, what God is doing in there. Why he's like, you know, crafting their little fingerprints. And so, I mean, they were like made to worship. We all are. Um, they were made in his image. And so you're never, they're never too young to connect them to their creator. They should be from the minute they come out of the womb. Um, so I love that you asked that question. Okay. Let's see. Um, this is a little bit of an off topic one, but I'll let you handle this. But we do get asked this a lot. And I'm just going to say this is a Christmas question about Santa Claus and we love Santa Claus. I'm going to go into this a little bit more, but I'm giving the heads up to all the moms out there. Um, so someone asked, how do you explain Santa and other made up characters while still staying true to your faith? And you know, this is a controversial topic, obviously, because some moms choose to some moms choose not to, and people feel very strongly about it. I'll tell you what's worked for us. I'll tell you also what I thought we were going to do because you always think you're going to do something and then you become a parent and you're like, okay, maybe I'm not going to do it like that. Before we had kids, we were like, oh, we are 100% doing Santa Claus. Like that is just like the fun of childhood. Like, you know, let's not be overdramatic about it. That was just like our personal commentary on the whole situation. Like, yeah, we're doing Santa Claus. And then I actually saw somewhere, somebody said, well, you could tell them, you know, there's a secret about Santa Claus. I'll tell you one day when you want to know. So that's kind of cute. Maybe we'll do that. So I say to say, like, we saw things that we thought were good ideas. We even had our own kind of idea about it. But then when we started to do it, I feel like, I feel like we kind of got some checks. And the way we ended up doing it, I feel has really been sweet and still fun and kept it lighthearted, but nothing too like detrimental as far as like relying to our kids. I don't think you are lying to your kid. I will say personally, I am the person who has very deep thoughts. I was the kid who had very deep thoughts. I always ask my parents very intense questions. And when my mom and dad told me the news about Santa, I was really shocked about it. And it led me to have a lot of questions, even, okay, is God real? Because why did you tell me this is real? And I really believed it. And there's so many movies about it. And there's so many books about it. And it's not even real. And I was like, well, okay, but everybody goes to church on Sunday. Surely we wouldn't do that if God wasn't real. And I actually remember wrestling out those questions. And so from the kid who actually does overthink things, dives really deeply into things, also was holding that tension in how we tell our kids. And so what we've done is we have said Santa is the magic of Christmas. Santa is the magic of Christmas. Obviously, we tell them the true magic Christmas through meaning of Christmas. So here's the meaning of Christmas. It's Jesus, but some magic in Christmas is Santa Claus. And we say Santa's a made-believe character. Just how you asked the question and said, how do you talk about these made-up characters? We tell them, we kind of compare it to princesses that they love. Havens always talks about Ursula and Honey. They would talk about like, Captain Hook, they're scared of them. And they love the princesses. And I'd say, well, Ursula's not real, but it's fun to think about her. Anna and Elsa, they're not really real, but they're so fun to imagine to watch some movies. And so just like Elsa and Anna is like the magic of Frozen, Santa's kind of the magic of Christmas. It's not really real, but it's so fun. And so we kind of like do it like that. So it's very light-hearted, very loose. We do do Santa Claus because it's fun and it's magic and it makes Christmas morning super just like giddy and silly and fun, but not holding it with so much weight that like you believe in something. Yeah. If that makes sense. Well, me and my brother believed Santa like to a fault to the point where like my brother was in middle school and he was still asking my parents to put reindeer food on the roof. And he's one of the most normal dudes that I know and he's awesome and loves God. So I think he made it out. So did so did Maya, his wife. She believed until high school. Yeah. So that's a little, that's a little. There is. I don't. She's incredible. I think, you know, ultimately, and I want to have another podcast about this whole conversation. I think every parent has to go where the Lord leads them. You know, if you have a check in your spirit, then hold up, you know, do something different. That doesn't mean everybody has to have that. That doesn't mean it's wrong for someone else to do something different. I think that is something that is a problem with social media is everyone comes on with their stance and it's like has to be that way. And if you don't, then it's detrimental to your child. I don't really think that. I think you can do Santa Claus and they believe in it wholeheartedly and it's fun. And then you tell them one day and it's like, oh, shoot, it's not real. Well, that's crazy. I thought it was. And most kids are fine with that. And for me, look, I love God with all my heart. It didn't hurt me. I thought it was really fun. I'm glad my parents did Santa for me. That's why I want to have some element to that. But I do know the thoughts I had and I remember thinking those thoughts. And so I just want to make sure with my kids because I see a lot of the same tendencies in my kids, they ask really deep questions. They are very, I don't want to say an overthinker in a bad way, but they do think a lot. I mean, when we read books, you can't get past one sentence without them asking a question on what that sentence meant. Why is her face in that picture a little bit sad? Did that person make her sad? Like they're so thoughtful. And so, you know, I'm carrying their little hearts and minds as I'm trying to make something fun of Christmas and Santa and that kind of thing. There's a lot of things to quarrel about in controversies and I don't think Santa close. Yeah. You knew he's not asking to be controversial. Who? Saint Nick. That's right. He's not like, yo. He'd be like, y'all, for real. I was just trying to have fun and bless people. Just, yeah, it's whatever. We're moving on to dating section. I love these two questions. Thoughts on long distance relationships, tips to make it work. For those who don't know, Christian and I, we're long distance, our entire dating and engagement. So, babe, give the advice. I kind of think these two go together. Okay. The next question is green, godly green flags and dating to look out for. So if you are potentially going to be in a long distance relationship, tips to make it work and what are some green flags and dating? So for me, the first thing I think about is the person has to have good friends around them and be surrounded by a good community and I think be involved in the local church. And what I mean is I think it is key that, because if you're not always going to be with this person, right? If you're long distance dating, if this person's a couple hours away, I think it's reassurance to you and even just assurance that they're not doing things that they shouldn't be doing. If this person that you're interested in and you want to start dating, if they don't have many friends, don't have a great community and they don't have a church that they're plugged into and I just would say if they're isolated, then I don't think that's a healthy key in a relationship. But for us, I had an incredible community of guys around me at Auburn that one, you trust to me, but you also trusted them that I'm not going to go do something stupid or go make some wrong decision that would be judgmental relationship because you know who I've surrounded myself with. I had an awesome relationship with my pastor, which same thing, if I was ever out of line and doing something that I shouldn't be doing, it would have never gotten to you to where like, hey, this is a red flag because it would have been addressed. It would have been addressed from some other situation. So and I think for me, if I was isolated with no community, then our relationship wouldn't have worked. One, because there were things that I was struggling with when we started dating of, you know, how am I, you know, a junior in college and no one knows who I am to dating somebody who's very, very popular and well known and to a lot of people that can be intimidating. Someone actually asked that question, was Christian intimidated by you at first because you were a TV personality? Wow, good question. I think I was intimidated by you actually because I thought you were really cool and I have been notoriously known for being kind of goofy and not super like cool. I remember high school, someone was like, you were the least intimidating person. And I was like, okay, that seems a little bad candid because I think what you're saying is I'm not cool. No, you were. You were intimidating. But that's funny because I do think to some degree, maybe that that was intimidating, but and I want you to speak to that. But I actually do remember being intimidated by you too. So it goes both ways. It is good. No, I think it's intimidated just from the aspect of like what I would be stepping into is a bigger deal. Right. Comparatively to something else. Right. Just, you know, recognition or just eyeballs and those kind of things. But I think the biggest green flag is whoever boy or girl has to be surrounded by a good community. And when you lived in Franklin, you had amazing roommates, incredible girls around you to where I was able to trust you, but also not only trust you, I trusted your friends to know, Hey, they believe in our relationship. They're not going to let you go out and do something dumb. Totally. I agree with Christian 100%. I think community, not being in isolation, being involved with the local church. Obviously if they love the Lord, but not just like someone who goes to church, but someone who actually has a relationship with God, those are obviously two different things. And what you don't think about when you're dating as much as I think you should is that when you're marrying someone, when you're going to marry someone, it's not just like, Oh, I'm getting married. Like, yay, I'm going to be a wife. It's like, no, that person's going to be your husband and he's going to be the father to your children. And y'all are going to walk through some really hard stuff together. To say that a foundation, like y'all's foundation, being on God is important is an understatement. Like it is necessary. I cannot imagine the past six years of our life not being rooted in Jesus Christ, not having a foundation of faith that we both were able to come back to when we were both struggling, when we both were going through something that was crazier, wild or whatnot. And even the good times and the fun times, I mean, that is so essential. And so that's just something not to take lightly. It's something not to look over. It's not just a green flag. It's like everything. So I just say that very strongly. I think to another thing to look for, and we kind of are saying this with just saying community, it's just nothing should be done in secret. There shouldn't be anything in y'all's relationship that if your friend found out, you would feel ashamed of. Like, yeah, you're going to mess up, but you should be willing to even tell your friends that, hey, we slipped up. Like we messed up and we want to do better. And can you hold me accountable? If y'all don't have those kind of relationships where your relationship has gotten so in secret and you have all these secrets, I think that is a dangerous place to be because it might bond you to someone that's actually not supposed to be your forever person. And you might feel like he has to be because he knows all this stuff or because we are in this together. Any secrecy should not be the reason that you're staying in a relationship. And so I definitely think you want to be open. You don't want to have secrets. That's just really important. Yeah. So like I said, to wrap that up, I just think a great green flag in dating, whether you're in the same town or if it's a long distance, I think community is just a big deal. And knowing that you can trust this person, friends, that they have your best interest to and that he is confessing things to his friends. He's involved in the church. So I think those are the biggest green flag for me. It's great, babe. I love it. What is something people never talk about in marriage that you wish was talked about more? We were kind of talking about this this morning because we read through some of these questions. And I was saying, I think we in our community do this very well and naturally, I just don't think it's very normal for the outside world. It's just to confess sin, to be honest, to admit struggles. I think it's so helpful whenever you're around other married couples and you're just honest. And even like you're going to have an argument and it's not the end of the world. People can trust and know that you love each other and it's okay that one little thing might have made you mad and you move on. And for just people around you to be for your relationship, for people around you to know what you're walking through and believe with you and pray with you and speak life into you, community is so important in marriage in my opinion. And I think when you get married and you start having kids, it's very hard to keep community because it's so crazy. When our friend group gets together right now, there's so many kids that it's just like, you can hardly talk, but I think it's still worth it. I mean, I don't think I know it's still worth it. It's still worth the intentionality. It's still worth getting together. We're all getting together this weekend and it's going to be wild because there's going to be so way more kids and adults. But we need that. We need to see each other. We need to help each other through it. And so I wish it was just talked about more like the power of community and admitting when you're going through something, not being ashamed of it. I actually heard someone tell me recently that my parents' relationship has helped them so much in their marriage because when you look at my parents' relationship, it's easy to think like, oh, wow, what a perfect couple. They've been married for so long. They have this amazing family. But my mom and I will be the first to admit they have struggles. They've had struggles. Of course they have. They've been married for so many years. And it was one of her friends telling me this and she said, their marriage has impacted me so much to see that you can go through hard things and you can have these little struggles and you can still have a great marriage. And so I think because of social media sometimes you think like, oh, for a great marriage to be great, it has to be perfect. Has to look this way. Your husband has to do all these things for you. You have to be this perfect wife. And that's just not realistic. You can actually have a great marriage and also have some bumps in the road. Yeah. I think even like, you know, you talked about community, I think communication is huge. I mean, the amount of times, and this is not to like throw shade or anything, but it's kind of funny just because we, I feel like we just like overly share and like overly communicate because the amount of times I'll be talking to my, to a guy friend or just a guy that I know or something. And I'll know that their spouse knows something and I'll say something. Oh, I didn't know that. And I'm like, do you and your wife, you know, like, do y'all not talk about stuff? You know, like, it'd be things like that. So and then for us, it's like, we just tell each other everything and just always talk about stuff. So I think that's something for me of just, just communication and just talking things out. I love that. And that's actually funny. You keep segueing so nicely to my next question. Someone said, how do you handle when your friend asks you to keep a secret from your husband? And you just kind of talked about no secrecy. Yes. And I will say though, because I have had the situation happen to me several times where a friend will be like, don't tell me about it. Please don't tell Christian or whatever. And that's because they're walking through something and there are certain things. Let me phrase this. There are certain things where it's like, okay, I get that Christian doesn't need to know you're pregnant or you're whatever, you know, but then there are other things where I'll just say to them, Hey, I'm actually going to need to tell Christian that or are you okay if I actually tell Christian that because that's going to be really hard for me to keep from him or whatever. And so I think you have to be honest with your friend too. When you know it's something that you would like to share with your husband. He is your husband after all. Like if you can be honest and they can give you that permission, I think that's great. Just talk it out in that moment. Or you can even say before they say it like, Hey, I love you. If this is something that doesn't need to know and it has to do with, you know, anything that he needs to know, then our relationship is very open. I love talking about it. Or if it's like, okay, if it's just a girl chat, he doesn't need to know it's irrelevant. Absolutely. I will keep that secret for you that goes in the vault. And so I do think there are times where you should just be honest with your friend and just be like, Hey, actually the way our marriage is, is like we're very open and I'd like to talk to him about this or I totally get it vault. He doesn't need to know that. But if it's ever like, Hey, can I tell you a secret like Christians is the worst, but don't tell him I said that. I'm probably going to tell him because we need to work through that. Okay. Moving on. Um, how do you work through an argument and disagreement with each other? We haven't had argument in a while. So I have to think about this one. That's a joke. That's a joke. Um, we keep coming back to communication. We've had lots of arguments lately. We've had a ton of arguments. But it comes back to communication and, and, and a lot of this, not to segue, how has life been adjusting to family of three been? So when did that, some of the arguments have come from just the hecticness of it's hecticness award just from the hectic state. Might not be, but life being hectic, some of our arguments have sprouted up because of that. I mean, yeah, but it comes out of communication. It's very refining time of our, of our life. I keep saying that it's, it's one of those things where. It's like, because it's so hectic and wild, it's just easy for the water to boil over, you know, and, um, for things to just come up. I mean, when you have three kids and the ages our kids are, it requires so much of you individually and together. And I think it's just left a lot of, you know, room for us to have disagreements and argue and have to wrestle it out. But I was going to say the same thing, communication and sticking with the argument until it is either resolved or you've grown from it or you've learned from it. Obviously, not all arguments are going to be able to be resolved in some moments because it's like, okay, this is like a bigger conversation. We might have to come back to this, but like I'm growing in it or I acknowledge it's a problem or I'm working on it. I'm going to talk to a friend about that. I'm going to talk to my mentor. I'm going to talk to our counselor. I'm going to go read some proverbs. I'm going to read a book on that. Like we're willing to grow. We're willing to learn. We're willing to have those conversations. And I think that's why like I am super proud of us in our marriage right now because although there have been a lot of arguments and things that have come up, it has only made us better and I truly mean that. And I think both of us even know that in the moment. It's like we're arguing this out for a reason and for a purpose and because ultimately we want to be better. Like one thing we keep at the forefront of our mind is like, this is the kind of mom I want to be. This is the kind of dad I want to be. This is the kind of marriage we want to have. And to do that, I got to uproot this in my life. To do that, I got to become more patient. I got to work on my like whatever it is. You fill in the blank for whatever it is for your life. And so yeah, I think sticking with an argument, sticking with that communication until you're growing from it, until you have like a plan on how I can be better. One thing to I heard in Proverbs a lot today was like how good it is to like prepare for something even like Proverbs 31. When you think about all the things this woman did and was, it all came from that she was prepared for it. Like the reason that the snowstorm didn't like hurt her family is because they had clothing for the snow. The reason like she was able to have a field or whatever it's because she like sowed the seeds in the ground. And everything that she eventually became, it started with her doing something to get there. And I think about that in our marriage. Like we're sowing seeds right now and plowing ground right now. That is hard and sometimes feels like, you know, the dirty work. But one day like, man, it's got to be so beautiful. And we know we're working towards something beautiful. And we know we're working towards a home that is going to be filled with all the things that we desire for it to be. And so I think, you know, there's so much good in our season right now. There's we've laughed so much and even talked about how fun of a week we've had in the midst of also, um, arguing it out. Yeah. Traveling to New York with a four year old, two year old, then two month old. Well, uh, it'll push some buttons. It'll bring some stuff up. It'll be challenging, but it was a great trip. It was a ton of fun. We had a blast. I kept saying, we're going to look back at this and this is going to be the best memories. But in the moment, it is hectic. It is crazy. I actually kind of put that on my post. I was like, this is a really perfect picture, but going to New York with a four year old, two year old and two month old is not for the faint of heart. And we have all the grandparents. I'm saying our blessing and our curses. It's most people that might do that. If they have arguments, it's just they're arguing. But for us, it's happening with 30 of your family and your family, both of our families. So it's, it's in tight quarters. It's not as fun of a dynamic when you're both visibly frustrated and you have 30 people with you. That is really hard. And that's the most refining. That's where it comes to that humility before honor that I keep bringing up and Proverbs and being willing to listen and learn is because we're at a stage in our life where we cannot hide that we're struggling with things. Like we can't hide it. It's here. Like we're in front of our family and I'm frustrated. I'm in front of our family and you're stressed. Like it just, it just, here we are with all of our chaos and struggles. Your flaws are cracks. And it's like at a time I would have been able to hide it. I would have been able to master it. I would have been able to be like, oh, I'm stressed. Yes, this is hard. But I can just, oh no, we did. We used to. I mean, you can go to the room. You can't. You can't hide your emotions. I can. I can be like. There is not an ounce of me that can be like. Everything is cool when you're part of a team. Everyone did not grace me with the, with that. If I'm mad, you will never be like, I never would have known that. Yeah, you, that is true. And it's a struggle. I'm trying to get better at it. But it's never like, I would have never known that you were stressed or frustrated. Yeah. But I actually unfortunately can hide it. You are good at that. And I can be like totally fine even though I'm really struggling. But now. I notice it though. Yeah. But now I can't do that anymore. It's like the Batman mask. And the dark night rises when Joseph Gordon Levitt realized that Bruce Wayne was Batman. And he said, because that was the face I used to make in the mirror. That's kind of like that moment. Somebody out there wanted to handle it. That was deep. Thank you. That's really powerful. Somebody, do you understand what I was trying to say? I don't quite understand it. I haven't seen that. But the way you described it, I'm like, yeah. You've never seen the dark night rises? Maybe. Okay. We need to watch it because I actually want to see the depth of that moment. And it's probably true. It's a very deep moment. All that to say, I can't hide it anymore because it's in front of everybody. It is what it is. It's stressful. It's crazy. I mean, think about it. I'm doing this press for the show and I'm feeding Kit in the midst of the whole thing. And I'm waking up in the middle of the night. So we didn't get the girls to bed until like 11 something each night because hello, it's so hard to keep anyone on a schedule when you travel. And then I had to set my alarm for two to make sure I have milk to start for the next day to pump. And then I had to wake up call at six to start with hair and makeup to get ready. Then the interviews all throughout the day, but in between each one I'm feeding Kit, then I get back to the crazies. And that's all fun and hectic and wild, but like you're sleep deprived, you know? And everything is a little bit hard and you're in front of everybody. And so like pressure, you know, pressure. Surface pressure. Yeah. It is hard. And then you're like what season you're in as a mom or, you know, it can be any season, but I do feel as a mom, like it does feel overwhelming a lot of times. You don't have to be doing a New York trip for just it to be extremely overwhelming when you are in a lack of sleep, when you're trying to keep everybody together, when you're trying to, you know, discipline this kid and love on that kid and everybody feel equal and really loved and, you know, seen and then you're working and it just is hard, you know? And so all that to say, it's okay to like let that be seen and let that be shown. I think just also have the humility to let people speak into it and know like you're not a failure. You're not a bad mom. You're not like you're, you're just tired. You know, you're just doing the best that you can with what you have. And the people who are speaking into your life are not shaming you or judging you. They're actually just trying to help you. That's what I'm learning is like, I can't be embarrassed by it. I just have to lean into it and say like, thank you for loving me enough to help me, you know, and I'm going to receive that. And so that's what's helping me right now. That's great. Well, this was fun. This was fun. Thank you all. And deep and it was all the things. It was thrilling. Do you have another movie analogy for us? Do I have another movie analogy? The Dark Night One was pretty epic. Thank you. We can just end on that. Yeah, we can just end on that one. Well, thanks for sending in such great questions. As always, like I said, thanks for trusting us with deep questions. Thanks for even asking us the silly ones to and following along our lives. We never take it for granted how incredible you guys are. And we love to meet you all. It's been fun, even just different travels we've had people coming up and listening to the podcast. It's such a blessing. And so I hope this encouraged you. I hope you have a great week moving forward. Be the light of the world. That's all we tell our kids. I'm going to start telling you all too. I do have one more movie reference. Oh, yes. I'm a survivor. The single mom. Shall I do my revo impersonation? Not now. I'll leave that for next time.