-♪ The New York Times theme music plays -♪ Welcome, ladies and gentlemen, to one and all for the late show. I'm your host, Stephen Colbert. Ladies and gentlemen, you know, it's no secret I have been critical of the Trump administration. But tonight, I have to give credit where credit is due. America is finally great again because Reb Lobb sir is bringing back endless shrimp. That's right. Our long, national shrimp mare is finally over. Many believe this day would never come, but as Dr. King himself said, the arc of the moral universe is long, but it bends toward the cocktail sauce. -♪ The New York Times theme music plays -♪ It's beautiful. Of course, the shrimp history buffs out there will remind us that endless shrimp was removed from Red Lobster's menu in 2024 after the chain filed for bankruptcy, and the endless shrimp promotion itself resulted in $11 million of the company's net loss. So they're bringing it back. Even though it's a proven money loser, sounds like Red Lobster still got plenty of shrimp, but they're all out of ****. Yep. What has mattered? Hey, shrimp. The new CEO of the company initially opposed bringing back the unrelenting crustacea, saying he was against it, quote, because I know how to do math, to which Americans responded, that sounds like a you problem. Now, stuff me with shrimp lobster, boy. Red Lobster dropped the big news in a new commercial. Endless shrimp is back because you've been asking a lot, and we made it happen. Walt's favorite shrimp. Endless. Garlic shrimp scampi. Endless. Shrimp linguine Alfredo. Endless. Thank you. Let's go down. I'm so glad someone's finally addressing the concerns of those of us who eat one plate of shrimp linguine Alfredo and then think, no, I want another. I don't want to just wreck my toilet tonight. I want, I want to have to move tomorrow. Fill me with shrimp and heavy cream until the federal government deploys FEMA. I want, I want Sean Penn out there with a Cajun Navy. If cream sea bug isn't your jam, there are other shrimp dishes you can eat without ceasing. Try the Parrot Isle Coconut Shrimp and Marry Me Shrimp. Of course, if you're not ready for Marry Me Shrimp, there's also platonic shrimp. If we haven't found anyone by the time we're 40 shrimp and common law crab legs. See? Yeah. That's the sound of hope. That's the sound of a people finally who have hope again with Endless Shrimp. All of our problems are over except, maybe not. Because here's how the commercial ends. Endless Shrimp is back by popular demand, but hurry, Endless can't last forever, only for a limited time. Endless... Endless is limited? What in the French existential absurdist interpretation of time is that? The only thing that should ever limit our time is the shrimp. This is malicious false advertising, and I will not stand for it. So Red Lobster, we fixed your commercial. Endless Shrimp is back. Shrimp. Walt's favorite shrimp. Temporary. Garlic shrimp stamp. Finite. Shrimp and greenie alfredo. Psych. And new Marry Me Shrimp. 50% of shrimp marriages end in divorce. It's only at Red Lobster. Death comes for us all. You're welcome. Done. You're welcome, Red Lobster. Now please send my two writers, Carly Mosley and Kate Sidley, Red Lobster, crewnecks, with a side of Cheddar Bay Biscuits. They are cold and they are hungry. What else is going on? Any other little stories? Ah, yeah, here's a little one. We are in week eight of the Iran War, and as of tonight, it is unclear if U.S. Iran peace talks will happen one day before Trump's latest ultimatum expires. Unclear. That's not super comforting. One expert weighed in on just how long this war might be. And worse. Thank you. Thank you. There you go. Call back. Hello. Give me any jokes? Thank you, Secretary Lobster. The talks were supposed to begin today in Pakistan's capital, Islamabad, but based on what we know now, it doesn't look Islamagood, because this afternoon, U.S. negotiators delayed their trip and President Trump announced he was indefinitely extending the ceasefire. Indefinitely. Wonder how many... I wonder how many shrimp that is. Trump's... Everybody got there? They're all down below. They were there waiting for me. Come on, we know where the joke is. Trump claims... Trump claims he's not sweating the deal, posting, I read the fake news saying that I am under pressure to make a deal. This is not true. I am under no pressure whatsoever, although it will all happen relatively quickly. Time is not my adversary. Oh, yeah? Have you taken a gander at your ankles lately? Because it's never a good sign when your shoes have a muffin top. This morning, well, he went on... He went on SquawkBox, and he squawked patience. Five months, okay? Five months. I would have won Vietnam very quickly if I were president. I've stood in Vietnam very closely. If I had been president, bubble would still be alive. And Lieutenant Dan would have legs. It's like... No, folks, it's like my mama always said, life is like a box of chocolates, and I do not love you, Donald. The negotiations... The negotiations may be in trouble. Are they in trouble? They may be in trouble. The negotiations may be in trouble, but Trump assures us that the new deal with Iran will be better than the old one. Just a reminder, the original deal with Iran capped Iran's uranium enrichment and allowed for international inspectors in an exchange for unfreezing millions in assets. And it took years to negotiate and ran more than 160 pages long. But Trump knows he only needs one page that says, I am Dr. Jesus. So... What would make a new deal better than the one Obama got 10 years ago? I will ask my guest tonight, a negotiator of the Iran nuclear deal, former Secretary John Kerry. He'll be right over there in that chair. Just a reminder. And whatever happens, you know, it's what you do. Guys, just go to the source. Ask the guy. And whatever happens, folks, the clock is ticking because due to Iran closing the Strait of Hormuz, airlines are about to run out of jet fuel, which is scary because if a plane runs out when they're in the air, you could be stuck up there forever. They got to get a big ladder out. The prices look so bad that spirit airlines may be forced to liquidate due to surging fuel costs. And that is a tragedy because spirit is my favorite airline to make fun of. We've done it a lot. You know their slogan, spirit airlines, comfort is our priority, but it's like number eight. Love you, spirit. Fly spirit airlines. That's my endorsement. Oh, there's breaking news about someone you've never heard of, President Trump's Secretary of Labor and woman at the end of a Sky Rizzy commercial. Lori Chavez-Doremer. Over the last few months, Chavez-Doremer has been under serious investigation for all kinds of bad stuff. She's allegedly done at work. And yesterday we learned that the Labor Secretary will resign amid allegations that Mrs. Chavez-Doremer's father, Richard Chavez, wrote to a young female staff member, quote, During you are in town wishing you would let me know, I could have made some excuses to get out and show you around. Please keep this private. I know it sounds creepy, but maybe he's just a proud papa. And is this true? I'm told we have a video of her father's reaction when he learned his daughter had been confirmed as Secretary of Labor. We're all going to get laid. Yeah. Good man. Good man. The natural reaction. It gets a little worse because it wasn't just her dad. Later Chavez-Doremer's husband reportedly texted that same staffer, I was feeling forgotten. I figured you were still in church repenting after your exposure to the demon state of Oregon. Okay, he's gross, both for allegedly sexually harassing a staffer and for making jokes about Oregon. Nothing. I mean, nothing funny about the beaver state. Okay, I hear it now. I hear it. I hear it. I hear it now. Okay, that's on me. I apologize. Chavez-Doremer also got in on the ick because she apparently instructed young women on her staff to pay attention to her father and her husband. I got to say, girl bossing has really taken a dark turn. It explains Sheryl Sandberg's new book, Lean In So My Dad and Husband Can Get a Better Look at Those Knockers. Yeah. I'm surprised she named it that too. Very surprised. Just to recap, you got weird daddy-husband sexting, plus allegations that Chavez-Doremer was engaged in an extramarital affair with a member of her security team. Not great, but on the plus side, falling in love with your security guy and leading to this summer's biggest sequel, The Bodyguard II, this time her dad's there. We got a great show for you tonight. Neil DeGrasse Tyson is here. Let me come back. Secretary John Kerry. In just a few moments, one of my favorite guests, possibly my favorite guest of all time, Neil DeGrasse Tyson will be out here in just a minute. But first, ladies and gentlemen, my first guest tonight served this country for five terms as a senator and as Secretary of State, led the country to a new state. He's a great leader. He's a great leader. My first guest tonight served this country for five terms as a senator and as Secretary of State, led the successful negotiation of the Iran-Nuclear deal and the Paris-climate agreement. Please, welcome back to the Late Show, John Kerry. Okay, sir, let's get straight to the heat of the meat here. Over ten years ago, you helped broker what was called the Joint Comprehensive Plan of Action-J-C-P-O-A- or Iran nuclear deal kind of colloquially, our current president withdrew from that in 2018. And yesterday he posted that the deal his administration will make will be much better than anything you negotiated back then. Take us back to 2015. What was in that deal and what do you think is something that would make it better? Can't make it better, no, I'm sorry. Having it still exist would make it better than it is right now, I admit. That would be better. Well, we negotiated an end to the possibility that Iran was gonna build a nuclear weapon without our knowing it. Nobody could guarantee that they wouldn't try to cheat. In fact, we anticipated it. So we got 130 additional inspectors on the ground in Iran. We measured every ounce of uranium that they mined and then milled and then built into the nuclear production system and then into waste. Literally, we followed the entire track. We destroyed tens of thousands of their centrifuges. They agreed to destroy them. We sat there and watched them do it. We took uranium out of the country with the help of China, Russia, France, Germany, Britain, the EU, all of them agreed that this was the best deal that you could get because as a member of the NPT, the Nuclear Proliferation Treaty, they had a right to enrich and they weren't willing to give it up just as I think they're fighting for that right now. So that's the basic tension here. Okay, I get the basic idea of what the checks were that you guys had negotiated there. Donald Trump originally said this deal had to be done by midnight tonight. And then he said, okay, till six o'clock or the evening tomorrow. And now he sort of let it open and we'll get into that in a moment, this indefinite expansion, the extension of the ceasefire. I'm just curious, how long did it take y'all to negotiate that deal? I began the negotiations when I was chairman of the Foreign Relations Committee with President Obama and Secretary Clinton as secretary of state. That's about four years of effort, two years as chairman of the Foreign Relations Committee and then two years plus as secretary of state. And I think, Stephen, that- So what I'm getting is that by six o'clock tomorrow might be rushing it. To put it lightly, to put it lightly. I mean, look, the fact is that diplomacy is not that really complicated. It's personal relationships more or less, and most importantly, and you have to put yourself into the shoes of the people you're negotiating with, you've got to understand their history, where they're coming from. And so, I've never been asked, but my advice to the administration is, take time to set up your agenda. Take time to be reasonable in ways that will not encourage them to say, oh, you just took a ship over. And we, on the other hand, said, we're gonna open the streets of her moose. Which, by the way, have never been shut in any conflict that we've had or difference we've had with Iran. So today, Donald Trump, by ripping up the agreement and pulling out, has actually put us in a worse place than it were previously, because the one thing we feared by pulling it out is, no agreement, war is probably almost inevitable. And literally, they have made it inevitable by giving Iran no freedom to move in a different direction. And also by bombing them, that would be one of the worst. Make one of the war, war is inevitable. Now, President Trump said today that he would extend the ceasefire until Iran submits a unified proposal and discussions are concluded. He also said he'd continue the blockade in the Strait of Hormuz, which is an act of war. Are those the best ways to negotiate? In other words, if you start, as I said before, if you start with an act of war, is that the best way to start a peace talk? Obviously not. Though technically, if you're on a war, there's no need for a peace talk. So he's got a point there. I know, well... Would you like to apologize, John? Certainly. Well... No, I think what he's doing now is challenging the validity of his FIFA World Peace Prize. Don't even joke about that. That is sacred, sir. That is sacred. But I mean, Bobby, look, it's a great thing if we are able to... It's a good thing for America. If neither Iran nor Kashmertel are getting bombed. And I think... I think... I'll check my phone. So... Yes. So I really think you have to get on a different track. This war did not have to be fought. And it is dangerous. There are greater dangers now than there were previously. And the greatest duty of a president of the United States is to be able to look into the eyes of parents and young people you're going to send off to fight in your war and make sure that you have made it clear to them there's a purpose, there's a clarity. You know exactly what the goals are and you know what you're asking people to sacrifice for. That did not happen here. So that is a failed test of the president's. I think it was... I think it was about two weeks ago, the New York Times reported that Netanyahu personally went into the Situation Room and presented the case why this was the right thing to do. It was reported that he had attempted this with previous administrations. During the Obama administration, where your Secretary of State, did he make the same case? Yes. And what was the response at the time? No. No. And why was that the response? I assume he's a persuasive individual. You know I read the article that you're referring to and the article made it clear that Prime Minister Netanyahu made his case and they went around the room, people talked a little but their military was quoted as saying there weren't a lot of questions asked. And at the end of the presentation by Prime Minister Netanyahu which predicted we're going to have a rebellion, people will, you know, regime change, people take over the country, that was all the prediction. And of course none of it happened. But at the end of that conversation, according to the New York Times, there's a quote that Donald Trump said, okay by me. And that was not what President Obama said. No, Obama said no, Bush said no, Biden said no. I mean I was part of those conversations. I remember them well. And we just felt that we have not exhausted all the remedies of peaceful process. And speaking as a veteran of the Vietnam War where decisions like that were so critical, we were lied to about what that war was about and the lesson of that war, end of Iraq, is don't lie to the American people and then ask them to send their sons and daughters to fight. Thank you, Matt. You know, we... I believe it was this morning on Squawk Box on CNBC, Donald Trump said that he would have won Vietnam very quickly if he had been President of the United States. And don't you find that ironic that the one guy who could have won the war couldn't go because he had bone spurs? I mean, what are the odds, sir? You showed a very telling photograph there, or a photograph, a meme, I guess, of Donald Trump as Jesus. Yes, yeah. Now I presume if he's Jesus, he could cure his bone spurs and go fight the war and win all by himself. That's true. Right? I haven't thought about it. Mr. Secretary, thank you so much for being here. John Kerry, everybody. I'm Anna Garcia, host of True Crime News, the podcast. Every week, we bring you in-depth coverage on cases making headlines, as well as those that go under the radar. Tune in for murders that defy explanation, mystery-seeking exploration, and shocking secrets that will leave you breathless. Each week, we honor the victims by going beyond the salacious in our search for justice. Crime never stops, and neither do we. Listen to True Crime News available now on the Odyssey app or wherever you get your podcasts. Hey, everybody. You know my next guest for his cosmic perspective on space, movies, and now aliens. His latest book is Take Me to Your Leader, Perspectives on Your First Alien Encounter, and I've been doing these shows for 21 years, and people always ask me who my favorite guest is, and I always give the same answer. I'm not sure if you've heard of him, but I've heard of him. I guess the guest is, and I always give the same answer. Neil deGrasse Tyson! MUSIC Whoa. Neil, at Goodestia, as I said in the intro there, just pound for pound, taken on average across 21 years. Who is the person who is not only easy to talk to, who is subject I am fascinated with, and who gives me a real rest because he knows how to talk and not stop. And that is Dr. Neil deGrasse Tyson. Well, thank you. Thank you very much. Last time you were here, you brought along another hero of mine, William Shatner. William Shatner. How is Shat? Ah, good one. Last time he was here, he didn't give me any chance to speak. No, and that is not easy. So I came in, I left him out in the street. Okay, good. So I'm just meeting you right now. You guys have the audiobook now, Cosmos Confidential, you, Neil, and Shatner's partner. Our relationship, our bromance became so intense that we turned it, it's called an audiobook, but it's really an audio original. We spent five hours in his backyard, and we was talking, and we learned about stories in his life that he never told. It's called Cosmos Confidential. We're both public figures, but the stories we told each other that we've never told anyone else. Then we went back on the stage in Beverly Hills on May. Because you're touring. Well, yeah, in May 19th and 20th, anybody's out in Beverly Hills. In the same theater. There you go. Now, before we get to your book, Take Me To Your Leader, I want to talk about Artemis II, which just returned from its 10-day trip around the moon. Sure. That was... Yeah. You know, you know what got me excited is how excited people got about that. Yeah, so... I know we'd already been and everything, and it would change. You felt the mood of America get a little hopeful and excited about the new frontier. We were all together. Yes. Watching it. That was something we haven't done in a long while. Right. So, in a way, NASA transcends partisan politics. And that's something that... It's a gift, not only to science and to exploration, but to the stability of civilization itself. And so when I thought of it, I said, if I were the moon, because I think of being astronomical objects often, if I were the moon, I'd say, where you been for 50 years? Welcome back. That's how I felt. Anything that you get excited about the science of it? Well, there's always science in any of these missions. You're going around the backside of the moon. It was just fun to get. And plus, we're reminded that Earth would look like the moon if we didn't have an atmosphere. Right. Because it's a shooting gallery in the solar system. And not only do we... If we didn't have an atmosphere, we also have other ways of covering the evidence, like erosion and volcanoes and things. But be glad we live on Earth, though our atmosphere be as thin as it is. Our atmosphere is to Earth as the skin of an apple is to an apple. So people who abuse our atmosphere just chill. Just look at the moon and be reminded of what we could be if we did not behave. You have a new book, as I said before. It is Take Me to Your Leader, Perspectives on Your First Alien Encounter. Why do you think people are so fascinated by aliens? I think it's terrifying to imagine that we could be alone in the universe. Nobody wants to be alone. I agree with that. So we look up, and if it wasn't gods that were up there, and if you're... By the way, religious people believe less in aliens than non-religious people. That's an interesting little fact. Okay. So there's a belief thing going on within us as we look up into the sky. I don't want to be alone. Surely there's life up there, and I think we all genetically participate in that desire. Okay. On a level where it's up there, but now, lately, people are saying they see in them... In the water. ...anywhere on Earth. That's an extra layer of thinking we're alone or not than just imagining they're in space. Well, you must have some sense that it's possible, or you obviously wouldn't have written as a book on what to do in case you're running to an alien. That is... It is an instruction manual, in a way, on your first alien encounter. What's the first thing I need to keep in mind? Because I would love to meet an alien. Okay, here's what you do. If anyone's watching, if they're wondering if somebody out there would like to meet them, hit me up, because... What's the basic etiquette if I meet an alien? Okay, etiquette. If they have some appendage sticking out, don't just grab it and shake it, because you don't know what part of the anatomy that is. That's true. That's true. That's true. You just don't know. No, that's true. If you befriended the alien, and at some point in the day, you'd say, excuse me, I have to lay down horizontally and be semi-comatose for one third of Earth's rotation. Please do not eat me while I do. That's just weird. And I'll have crazy mind illusions at the time. The alien might think that's completely crazy. Sure. Leave your judgment and expectations aside. Now, you recommended that the two of us, as we talk about aliens... Oh, actually! Okay. Okay. So... Now, why do you think this is a good idea? Okay, so... So, here it is. So, there's an entire chapter in there... Yes. ...on alien powers and what powers they might have. Yes. And everyone imagines that they can, like, get in their thoughts and get in your head. Yeah, yeah. There's a physics behind the tinfoil hat, if I may explain. I wish you would. Okay, yeah. So, discovered 170 years ago... Yes. Yeah, 170 years ago. Michael Faraday, the physicist in the UK, discovered that electromagnetic energy cannot penetrate shells of metal. It could be a cage or it could be just pure metal. Yeah. So, there's a field that the metal interacts with the field, preventing the field from entering what's inside the metal. It's called a Faraday cage. And the skiff that they have in the military, where they go in and have secret conversations, that is a Faraday cage. So, when they present it in there... So, if aliens come down, the scary part is if they implant thoughts in us, game over, because then they control us, they make you think it's your own thoughts. So, if that's the kind of alien that comes, and it's all in the book, the instructions in the book, if that's the kind of alien that comes, the only people who will be immune to that are those who wear tinfoil hats. So, they're not crazy. They're cautious. Just saying. So, during that moment, our thoughts were unreadable. Wow. By all known means. Certainly, yeah. I actually stopped listening to what you were saying. I just want to point out, my little handle on top is much larger than yours. Okay. So, most of... And of course, they're made of aluminum today, not tin. Thank you. Yes, just to be... Thank you. That's a sponsored by Reynolds app over here. We'll have to take a quick break. How do you think we would seem to aliens? I mean, are we freaky? Here it is. They would come, and we always think that they're evil, right? But maybe they're not evil. Maybe we thinking they're evil is based on the knowledge that we are evil to one another. And it's just a mirror in all of our stories. We're projecting. Yes. We tell evil alien stories as mirrors to one another. We tell evil alien stories as mirrors to our own behavior when we have a higher advanced culture encounter one that's lower advanced. And it's bad. And so, I think the aliens would come and they would see this behavior. They would see us fighting and killing one another over to your skin color and who you sleep with and who you pray to and what side of a line in the sand you're born on. And I think the aliens would just leave immediately and report back that there's no sign of intelligent life on Earth. A lot of people... A lot of people are talking about Project Hail Mary. Do you see it? Yes, I do. I enjoyed it very much. In fact, I'm friends with the writer Andy Weir. He was on my podcast, the Star Talk podcast. Oh, that's nice. And do you know... Oh, so he broke the Hollywood mold. The Hollywood mold. Well, the Hollywood mold is a humanoid alien. His alien is craboid. It's like a rock crab. A crab... rock crab. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's good. Was it good science? Did he stay on the straight narrow in Neil Tyson's opinion? The highest compliment I ever got was from him when he was... because he's a software engineer turned novelist. He told me that. He said he was writing for The Martian, a very science-intensive storyline. And any time he wanted to sort of, you know, go loosey-goosey on the physics, he imagined I was looking over his shoulder. He didn't want me tweeting about it later. And so that was... that's like... No, nobody does, Neil. So that's the second highest compliment I ever got. Second highest? What's the highest compliment? You really... I really do. Yeah, what's your highest compliment? Okay. You're... you asked. Okay, I was... I was... I was entering a sound studio in Midtown Manhattan to do some voiceover with my planetarium voice. Yeah, I understand. Okay. And I opened the door and Jason Sudeikis is there. I'd never met him before. Lovely fellow. And I say, Jason... You're Jason Sudeikis. He said, you're Neil deGrasse Tyson. So we both knew each other. That was a good feeling. We both respected each other's work. And he said... this is when he was dating Olivia Wilde. Yeah. Did I say he was dating Olivia Wilde? You did, yes. I did say that. Just verify that. So here's what he told me. He said, we love you. And he said, one night it was like date night with the two of them. He's ready to jump in bed and get it on with Olivia Wilde. And I show up on TV and they both stop and look at the TV. And I said... I said... Stephen... Stephen... This... I think the only term for this is a double-c*** block. That's what that is. And I said, there is no higher compliment. No higher compliment. Neil... Neil... I want to point out that that relationship did not last. And I think you might be to blame. Neil, so wonderful to see you again. Thank you for 21 great years. I'll see you again on the next one.
