Uproot-a-rama | Ep. 5 | Hell of a Job

It is early morning. You have is the early morning. It's time for you to show up to work. Sir cool express starts bright and early. The dindin Woods. You know that there's why goers evil layer and sir cool express. I would like to ask each one of you. How does what is your morning routine look like? How do you get to work? And what sort of annoyance do you have to experience on your way through the gym? Dimwoods to get to why goers evil layer as you all wake up. It's look at the alarm clock. It's five in the morning. It's miserable. It's tired. You're somehow too hot and too cold at the same time. But you know that you have to get to work. I think that Booker would be he's obviously a jazz musician, right? But he has a full time gig working for Sir cool express. And so after work, having the after hours, especially on the weekends, Fridays, Saturday nights, Saturday nights, he's trying to get these gigs where he's playing in jazz clubs and trying to try to also have a career as a musician. It's clearly not working out no matter how talented and magically equipped he might be. So that's why he needs this job full time job at Sir cool express. So he has some late nights. And so the next morning is a little rough. But, you know, he's a dedicated employee of Sir cool express. So so Booker would drag himself out of bed. You know, he's probably got eight of the same suit, eight of the same shirt, eight of the same like wrinkled tight as an iron is stuff, right? You know, he's rolling up the sleeves. He's bleary I'm doing the best that I can. And I probably have this crappy little car vehicle that like barely works. It's on its last legs. You know, I can't get it started. Have to kind of kick it to get it going. That would be the major annoyance. I think that Booker would be fighting with his vehicle to get to work every single day. It'd be another thing a wheel falls off the bumper will stay on the doors rusty and won't shut all the way. And he can't keep up with these these the maintenance. It's been paid off for forever. But the maintenance is just a nightmare. And I would try to be one of the first ones in the office. Because believe it or not, he's a diligent employee. And I would I would spend the morning cleaning the coffee carats, getting the coffee ready for everybody. This morning ritual that Booker has to enjoy his coffee and also provide a hot cup of Joe for his friends when they get to the office. And it's even worse. It's the equivalent of a Monday. Oh, no. The office is also nobody cleans the coffee pots, right? So like when I get there Monday morning, it's all the same leftover old coffee from Friday afternoon. Yeah. Yeah. And I curse it over and over again. But nobody you know, have many times I mentioned it, nobody cares. They don't clean the coffee pots. And that would be kind of the equivalent the routine that Booker would go through day in and day out fighting with his vehicle, getting there early enough to enjoy the ritual of making coffee and providing it for the office. Love it. Thank you. I think that I think that Jean Claude would wake up in the mornings. I don't think he would stay up too late. I think he would be I think even after work, he would be dedicated to trying to balance the books. And he would come across things all the time, like, suspicious recurring charges to offros and these things that start lining up and massive amounts of spend to revamp the office time and time again for new HR layouts that sometimes seem use see use. I think he would he would get up in the morning. And I think he would ritualistically iron his shirt for the start of the day, his short sleeve pocket button down shirt, iron it out and stand tall and put it on and start to button it up. And then take his glasses out. And I'd put them on. And then I'd kind of hunch down a little bit and make myself just a little bit smaller. And I think I'd go into the kitchen, I cook up just a very quaint, small little quick meal, maybe just two eggs, not chicken. Some other some other egg laying creature. I just a quick small breakfast. And I think I'd go outside and I'd find a like the equivalent of a bicycle, like a like a pedal speeder, if you will. And I think I would I would cycle to the cycle to the office. And all this traffic is flying by me. And even though it's it's off the ground as hover vehicles somehow, they always seem to hit the same puddle every day as I'm coming by. And the grab disrupts the puddle. And it splashes me all across my outfit. As I'm cycling into the office until I get there and join. Okay. I keep picturing the four year old. I was thinking of suits. I was thinking I'm going to go and buy from suits. All his road is all has satchel and wrote his bicycle to the to the like truly not a law firm. This he doesn't so much sleep. Strong open strong as she consults the lemons of the cosmos. She would have a spare room. And I don't mean a spare room isn't an extra room. I mean a room that is Spartan with very few items in it. No mattress, no anything. But this is the place where she centers herself, meditates, and thinks about the machinations of Arcadia and the planes beyond doing what she can to think two, three, four, a dozen steps ahead of those who would prevent the resurgence of the middle class. She would wake up and quickly utilitarianly take care of herself, dress herself in her long robes, make sure that her hat is well fixed onto her head. And then she would plot. She would go to a window and probably the first 2040 minutes, no coffee, no nothing, just stare out the window and brood. And then she would get onto the the fat lines. She would she would jump onto the communications. She would jump onto holograms and she would consult with the many connections that she's made across the universe. Yes, she does work at Cirquele Express, but when she isn't doing that, instead of trying to get gigs or what a normal Arcadian might do, she is in touch with the powers that be trying to get in front of the long term plot and strategy that she cares about more than anything. Then she'd quickly feed the poor man who lives underneath her hutch and then she would be able to jump into her spaceship, a huge massive ship that would launch into outer space. This is a picture of those massive crafts in Dune where the like one of the ships arriving and fucking arrival would lower down and a massive staircase would be as loud as hell in my mouth. She would float down, but unfortunately the parking for that is still a two mile walk away from the office. Her biggest annoyance is the fact that she has to make that final trek to the office where she arrives and oh someone made the coffee, how nice this is always done, who takes care of this? And that is how she spends most evenings. Peggy would wake up in the morning and she would roll over and she would say to the camera, all right, well, that's it for the sleepy time stream. I'll see you tomorrow, my little peglings, and then she'll turn the camera. No, no. Oh my lord. And then she will brush her teeth and she'll maybe take a quick morning shower and she'll go to the closet and you'll see it's just that same suit over and over again similar to Booker and she'll pull one out and it kind of floats there on its own as she climbs up into the helmet and gets solely into the helmet. The entire suit is she laying down like this? Yeah, yeah, yeah. As she just kind of zooms around and inside she's typing away. She is, you're sending out some Noori Prince emails. She is sending a couple of DMs. You know, hey, this is, this is, this is Zeta Max. I can't find my debit card. Could you send me $500? I'm stuck at the airport and we can hang out and get dinner tonight if you do that. Doing a handful of those things as she's just kind of autopiloting to work, but the problem is every single morning this, this damn, this damn guy that follows her stuff is constantly reporting her for nudity. And so she's spending at least the first hour of her commute. It's very long. She doesn't want to pay much for rent. And so the first hour of her commute, she spends responding back to all of these, all of these reports trying to get her channels turned back on. But her commute, funny enough, her commute is actually just a way for her to get some, some time outside of the house because she lives in the Iron Maiden. So as she makes her way back, she locks up the Iron Maiden and then she goes to the coffee. Oh, somebody made coffee. Who's doing this? Hey, Bithby, morning. How you doing? And that's, that's what Peggy does in the morning. I think Grumly would stay up pretty late. He has a subscription to Turner Classic movies. And Lone Star TV. His favorite part is when some random guy introduces the film for 10 minutes. 100%. He loves that. He just loves when, you know, when the Gary Coopers of the world, the strong silent types were in the big pictures. And so he would stay up pretty late. He's not very well rested. He had all night, he's a phobia of the Sunday scaries. He'd wake up, he'd take off his CPAP machine. He's like concave face. And he would sit on the edge of the bed and the Sunday scaries have evolved to a pure Monday trip. And he looks at the corner of the room with the pedestal that has his cyborg helmet on. And he stands up and he's wearing very high waisted pants. And this torso is ridiculously wide because he's built like a brick shit house. He looks at it and I say, I know what I have to do, but I don't know if I have the strength to do it. As he picks up the helmet. First, I'll finish what I started last night. And I will hit play and finish probably the last 30 minutes of whatever classic black and white film he was watching, some detective show. I love Grimly the Wren. And then he wouldn't bite to work, he would wheel to work, but not for fitness. Just because he has no other choice. And he would get in and he would say, oh, coffee, thank you, Booker. I really appreciate your effort to get in early and make sure that we always have a part hot coffee every morning. My pleasure, buddy. I just like doing it. Somebody's got to do it. And it's just one of the ways that I like to contribute to the office and my friends. Someone should fire the guy that makes this coffee. Hey, that's not nice. I make the coffee. Why don't you don't? Yes, I get here extra early and I make sure that I make the coffee so all of you guys have coffee. Why do you burn the coffee? I don't burn the coffee, take it up with Waigor. The machine sucks. The coffee that he provides is terrible. I say, Booker, I actually think it's quite good. Thank you. Is this decaf or full-caf? It's one of a crap Waigor's gotten the colors like a pie. You don't make the coffee then because the person who makes the coffee wouldn't know what kind of coffee they put in. It's in an unlabeled tin. I'm doing what I can. It's just unlabeled. It's just crappy, garbage coffee. He buys it by the square footage. What do you think this cream is made out of? It's like a real grape powder. He's just pouring into my little Styrofoam coffee cup. Don't think about it, buddy. Don't think about it. Okay, that's enough. And it's like mounded up off the top. Yeah, I don't even know what this is. And I chew my coffee, my morning coffee. You hear a little as Waigor putters in. Oh gosh, Monday mornings, huh? Something like that. How was your weekend, Waigor? I don't care for Mondays. I don't know if you knew this about me. He poured himself coffee. Gosh, this tastes like shit. It's a little burnt, right? I should remember to have accidentally neglectfully killed Chauncey again for making such terrible coffee. What do I pay Chauncey for? Waigor, I make the coffee. Nobody else is making coffee. The coffee pots don't have a clean. The coffee that you provide, it feels like it's six months old and stale. This gray, powdered creamer is bizarre and gross. You're the best I can here, man. Ah, well, I mean, I suppose that's what I get for hiring a jazz musician to make coffee. Ah, disgusting. Why don't you kind of work anymore? Why don't you bottle? As the helicopter's out. Well, I'm going to have the breakfast at champions. Any of you want one and Peggy pulls open a rickety bottle of pills that say subtract you none and she pops one. I'm all right. I'm never eating the morning. I'll just do that creamer though. I'll do it. Oh, thank you. There you go. Oh, I also have velocity if you prefer something a little harder. I'm good. I'm just going to stick to my cup of black coffee. I'm eating already. Just the coffee for me. This is just the ashes of people I've defeated. This isn't creamer at all. I was wondering where I left this. Is that where the bone chips are from? Yeah, there's probably some bone chips in there. I'll say, why do you keep that right next to the coffee? I left it right. I didn't mean to leave it here. I was going to take it home. Well, how come you you climbed you skidded up the pantry and then opened right where the coffee is and then put it in there left. Somebody print out a label that says coffee creamer and snapped it right on the side. Oh, that was me. Well, now I'm used to it. It's not changing now. You better keep your sinec running. Yeah, if you try a little bit. Booker, you feel like you're not being appreciated. I'm not. You feel like this is like it's not only your friends, your boss. No one's appreciating you. I need to make a Christmas saving throw for you. Oh, no. I should be putting it back. You feel like you think back to growing up with Beauregard tea raccoon. Oh, I crushed it. I got a 23. You feel as if 23 that there's almost like this kind of deep for a moment. You feel like almost like there's this deep pit, this emptiness within you that you feel like you need to fill and something kind of there's a flash and you kind of like rub your teeth a little bit and you actually almost kind of like what you're thinking about it. You almost kind of bite your, bite your lip and a little bit of blood is drawn. And you but you know what you feel like, hey, you can just fill that with coffee for now. I'm a pretty easy going guy. I'm a late back jazz musician. No big deal. To take advantage of a little bit here. My good pal, Grumley appreciates me. That's all that matters. That's right, Booker. I appreciate you. And the reason we come to work is the same reason we come to work every single day, because we're going to make a delivery that's going to make somebody happy. Yeah. No, I appreciate you, even if I don't appreciate your coffee. I still don't believe you the one making the coffee, but I like you. It's a person. I also appreciate it both. But you didn't have to name me and your and your thankful speech right. You could have just said, but only that's fine. Yeah. I heard. I appreciate all of you as well. Hey, y'all. Does anybody know where Hazel is? She's late. And yes, she's memory late. Oh, you know, she probably, there was a there was a farmers market on the way, but she's eating them out of house and all those poor farmers. I was going to say, I don't think this is the first time that, you know, she's called out more than once for indigestion. You know, it happens. She's definitely been sick. She's been suffering with Gerd a lot with what? Gerd. Gerd? Yeah, that's what they call it. G E I D. What does it what does it mean? I don't know. Does it stand for something? Probably. You get a notification on your phone, Peggy. Got a notification. It's not that fucker getting me banned again. Lo and behold, you get a report from only frogs that you've been banned. Not only that, you get a whole string of messages about how that new video game stream that you played, how you should have played it better and how you should have built your base better and you would not have gotten rated. And also your band and also me and wooden. She's playing oxidization. It's a joystick like that when playing a flight simulator. Jesus. Your community really is not supposed to go inside. You and so basically you feel like there is that it just a string. Your fans, your community has just has are a bunch of ungrateful. It's incredibly toxic. This hacks your kids a piece of shit. I didn't make a very time. Oh, it's not good. Oh, God, I fucking hate this guy. Let me see. Yeah. How's my charisma? It's not sits pretty bad. A five. A five. These are horrid scum fucks. And you realize that you're that you're a virus group or you can absolutely hack and docs. I'm sure you're a tire fan. And really swat them. And really commit you can ruin their lives. Oh, I am. I am. Um, you know, because Peggy Peggy's got her like her little visor going on. And you see that it begins. You see a bunch of code in red begin to go across. And then the words AFK begin to scream to stream in front of it and completely blank face. You could doctor all you want. But she is inside of her helmet laying in there just doxing everybody. And Peggy, you kind of start to like scratch it yourself and you feel like, wait a minute, is that like another scab? Is that a word or something? You know, you take a care of what you realize is almost kind of you're scratching yourself absentmindedly. And you realize that it's almost kind of like a not quite scaly, but almost like a Beagle shell type thing on your arm as well. Then the wrath and the rage that you feel towards these fuckers on your in your in your community. Oh, mama's going to know what you're spending your fucking allowance, you piece of shit. She's getting really. Oh yeah. You're going to go to all of his family on Facebook. Yeah, absolutely on Facebook. And that's what you do. Yeah. The plague. That's the name of Peggy's virus is the plague. I love that. Thank you. Brilliant idea. Just a spot of plague. AFK, AFK, AFK. I think she's going through something right now. We'll just let her be. She's a really man. Yeah. You can hear everything she's screaming. I say, she's plugged in right now. It's not responding to anything. You limp dick motherfucker. It's like sitting next to a 10 year old on Xbox Live. I feel like someone could get seriously hurt based on what she's doing. Oh, for sure. I mean, there's definitely a lot of violence, several planar and cosmic laws. There's no way there's a... I'll say, and moral, I think. Yeah, well, certainly. That always seems to be an afterthought with this group. Grumly. You, you... It's the own chips. This is surprisingly good. I like drinking my enemies. I'll try it. I'll try it. Hey, you should eat it. I've been having it for weeks. Munch, even. It's like drinking mushroom tea. It's got a chalky texture. Bones are one thing, but mushrooms. You can probably sell this online. I'll talk to you. I think you're working fucking target. You, Grumly, you think back to earlier this morning when you went to go finish your movie and you realize that your favorite Turner classic movies and all of your favorite channels... No, who tells you classic movies? Who's classic movies? Who's classic movies? That's... There was... You went to go finish it, but you realize that there was a massive merger. A massive mega-court merger, and that all those movies actually weren't valuable. So, in order to get a great tax break from the intergalactic representatives of stealing, they decided to just delete all of your favorite classic movies and have it be a tax write-off. And all of their programming has been switched away, and all of your favorite movies became lost media. And you keep thinking back to that discovery this morning. What's wrong? All of my favorite movies. On whose classic movies? Oh, no. That's one of your favorites. Why didn't you tell us? Even the Morsieb Falcon? Especially the Morsieb Falcon. Oh. That is... You guys are too smart. I don't know what that is. The reference of the Maltese Falcon. Oh, wow. Listen, ground down. I'm so sorry you knew that, buddy. What are you gonna do? Every single cockstacy film they've got rid of... That one was a little bit of a stretch probably, but I still like what you were doing with it. I'm gonna eat the cockstacy. Cockstacy. Yeah, that's so boy. He's a Rooster Detective, and it's always his last day on the force. Yeah, I also wouldn't like that one. Oh, yeah. All gone? They're all gone. The toad they've been removed from streaming, and I only got a 15-minute notice. How am I gonna watch every single old film again now? Can we buy you physical media? Oh, no, that's an insane thing. They've done it with physical media years ago. No, I think that they're trying to get rid of that because the subscription model is... They don't want us to own anything. No, everything I do. This is point seven in my 27-point plan. Bring back physical media. Oh, well, thank you. Do I even own my subunit enhancements? No. That's a good question. Can the company just take it back at any moment? Yes. It's just not fair, Booker. It's not, and I wish that I had some more encouraging words for you. This is just awful. You signed the Terms of Service. You hear in your ear. Oh, I guess I did sign the Terms of Service. In any lawsuit, class action or otherwise, but be completely ineffectual because I signed up for that free trial once. I signed up for this free trial. I enjoyed a few of the movies. My favorite was North by North. Thank you, Chad. Grumly, how do you feel in this? What are you going to do about this? This is a huge change to your way of life. You think back to that strange, just a scary, spooky, scary man in the pool room from several weeks ago. Oh, God. Are you haunted? Are you haunted by this, like, the shade? Yeah, how would I feel about this? I don't know if it would make me angry or just sad. You know what I mean? I think I would need to find something to replace, to replace this. This, this, this, like, what am I going to do with my evenings now? Masterpiece Theater. Yeah. Oh, no. I, I go to my phone and I'm like, oh, I need to entertain myself somehow now. And I go to a gambling app on my phone. Oh, no. Oh, no. Yeah. Your favorite ethical Twitch streamer who has a giant audience of mostly children has been marketing this great sports gambling service. Yeah, it's been done. It's been a great, yeah, exactly. He's been marketing. That's always like those loot boxes. Yeah, exactly. Download a gambling app on my phone. Make a good result. Chris will save you there. Burtle. Absolutely brutal. This is too real. Charisma. Yeah. Saving throw. Yeah. That's primmy. Hold on. Hold on. Oh, 13, 13. You start to get a little itchy under your helmet. You start to get a little itchy under your helmet as you kind of start to scratch as you think about, you start to download this gambling app and you're like, you know what? That's going to replace the strong silent type of Gary Cooper. Because, because what other way, what other stoic way can you, can you really deal with, with what you're feeling than risking it all on something that your favorite streamer had promoted to their audience of mostly children? Look, the further the plane flies, the more of a multiplier I get on my notes that I just contributed. I'm going for 8x booker. Wow. I have a feeling about this one. That's really amazing. Look, it's flying. It's flying. Do you have any control over this? Wait, you missed the click. You didn't click it. What happened? It exploded. So you should have pushed the button faster. I should have pushed the button .3 nanosecond sooner哎哎哎哎哎哎哎哎哎哎哎哎哎哎哎哎哎哎哎哎哎哎哎哎哎哎哎哎哎哎哎哎哎哎哎哎哎哎哎哎哎哎哎哎哎哎哎哎哎哎哎哎哎哎哎哎哎哎哎 Hold on, I think I still have some of my money Grammy gave me for my birthday. So let me just hold on. I don't think you can quit now. I didn't get it. I top off my balance with my Grammy. And you feel like you reach and you kind of put your paw under your helmet and you feel like almost like this scratching curly hair. And you look down and you see this bright color out of the corner of your eye as you kind of push it back up into your helmet. Guess I'll do shampoo today. Maybe that's anyway. I adjust my helmet. That's John Claude. Anyway, you're thinking back to your bicycle ride. And you were on your your your little bike and you it was a rainy day and you think it can't get worse. And then you hear a. As this massive gas guzzling big bulky speeder drives by as as a huge chicken hawk bit length. Blares, blares past you, blows your horn, startles you. You get a massive spray of filthy puddle water on you. And and you hear a voice say nice, nice bike. Nerd. Into my mouth. I know there's a haunted house level. There shouldn't be any skeletons around here. I put my hand in my pen. Oh, I'm wet. It's cold. Oh, I said it was already raining. But I'm the gross. I'm coming in. Oh, oh, what's in my mouth? How does it make you feel? How do you react to this? Uh, I think I'd start to get a little I start to get a little angry. Oh, I think so. I'd be getting I'd be getting a little fired up like this. This stupid chicken hawk that just covered me in mud doesn't know who he's really messing with. Yeah. Can I ask a question? Have you, has Jean Claude ever used the powers of House Saint-Duclaire for not good purposes? Have you, has he ever misused the the that would be shocked up on the. No, seriously, Booker doesn't even know about this. I would say he absolutely spends his nights invoking the power of the house of Jean-Duclaire and attempting to rid the streets of all form of the devil. That's all for good. All form of nefarious life and whatever form that whatever shape that takes will be the chicken hawk who, you know, thinks I'll look rather skeletal. I say I say. I say. He doesn't know what's coming for him. If I catch him on the next time. And you've realized that he stopped at a red light. I say. He doesn't know how fast this can go. Kick it in the second. What do you say? Oh, you just get to say something. Oh, yeah. Well, I say, I say, hey, you. That wasn't there a night. Sorry, I couldn't hear you over my sick tunes. And he turns on Motley crew. It's not different. It's just Motley crew. And he turns it up. Sweet. Shit, those are pretty sick tunes. As you feel your right anger and hatred and you kind of visualize what you would do if you were in a different situation, I need to make a Christmas saving throw for me. Oh, man. Fifteen on the dot. Fifteen. You feel as you kind of start to mutter your you notice your beat kind of start to kind of clock a little bit and the noises that you're muttering to yourself turn to sound almost clicky. But then it kind of then it passes as you've made your you've made your this this guy blows past the red light and you finally do make it to the office. And you're reminded of this moment in this moment. I say, I say, man. How was everybody else's commuting this morning? Not good. I mean, you know, all thanks for asking Booker. Mine was terrible. Oh, OK. I was riding my bike in. I say, and then this chicken hawk ran up. He was driving an environmentally unsafe vehicle. It wasn't nice for the environment at all. And he splashed me and all this mud and water. You might have been looking at me this whole time. So dirty. Covered in mud. Covered in mud. Yeah, I'm sorry that happened. It's actually probably why I enjoyed the coffee. Well, there's plenty more to warm you up. Well, I know I just meant to taste better than the mud, the buck that's in my mouth. Gotcha. Yeah, yeah. No, it doesn't. It's a hurtful pain. It's very hard to knock it till you try it. Oh, it's not that bad. He just made me so mad. Oh, I was going to key his car or something. I almost took my hand on the car. Do you want me to leak his nudes to his family? Oh, well, I don't know how did it look? Did you get his license number? Oh, well, I don't know. Do you have his license plate number? Yeah, it was Slam Hawk. Oh my God. What a piece of shit. I know. That's what I thought. Oh, no, he's got a really big car. Fuck. I said, I just knew it. I couldn't have leaked his nudes. It's just helping him out. I do not like this conversation. Pitsy. I say, can you transfer all of his bank holdings to Grumley so he can continue gambling? Oh, no, this guy doesn't have shit in his savings account. Wait, hold on. I think I still have some in my retirement savings. I can keep going, Booker. Well, to be fair, you've got to stop winning or you're going to keep losing. So you've got to keep going. I mean, at any point you could hit the 100x multiplier. Wait, Booker, do I hit on a 13 versus a 16? Oh, oh, absolutely. Yeah, for sure. For sure. Are you sure? According to the book, is that true? Yeah. Are you just vibing right now? No, there's no way. There's no way you can bust. 13's not even close to 21. I mean, you know, to be getting a 10 are really high right now. No, well, that doesn't equal 21, so you're fine. Guy, hit the button. Hit it. Oh, shit. Oh, he did. Oh, I love the dealer, but I have 26. I said, wait, what was the question? No, mathematically, that was a terrible thing to make. Mathematically, you shouldn't have hit that button. Chances were, it did so well. No, I felt like there was no way he could lose. No, well, that was the vibes, Tom. Well, now I'm going to try and find out. No, I think I'm pretty good at math. Anyway. Bitsy, you think back to this morning. Into the lone man. To the person on your watch. Yes, he once wronged me. A little, just a little. You think back to your morning routine. What plate of food are you bringing? Am I bringing? Yeah. To feed the man. To feed the man. What does it look like? Yeah, how much like love and care did you provide for this meal? Or is it like, what is it? Is it grape protein? No, no, no, no. It's like a giant tank of nutrients. There's a big tank that's attached to the wall. I walk over to it. It's like one of those gerbil's feeding water things. I grab the lever and out squeezes a gray purple sludge. It doesn't say in color, it just says soilent on the side. Yeah. You enter the dark room. You hear like the very slow rattling of chains. You hear, please, please, my family. I have your soilenton. This is all you'll enjoy all day. Yeah, Cladders. I throw it in the cladders of the ground. You wrong, Bitsy, low Bitsy. The centuries I've tried to rise the middle class in Arcadia. But you were annoying. You were a jerk that one time. I didn't care for what you said. So you're down here for that. You hear him skitter over to the, over to the slop as you're... And how is that going bringing back the middle class? I'm between classes right now. It's going to rain. It's going to fall. We're going to make a great progress. A great progress. There are many, many Illuminati's that I'm working with. Many of them. Illuminati. That sounds like cope to me. You make a Christmas saving sound. This guy's not broken yet. My fingers crackle with electric energy as I consider these phrases. I get a natural one. Oh, no. I get a natural one. He's in your head. Your energies crackle. What do you do? Please, please, no, no, no. I would lash out. In this moment, I am extremely frustrated and this man who slidered me so imperceptibly years ago is my punching bag, an outlet of my rage and inner horror. And I would cast Minion by Nick on him as I lock him into place. I don't want to hear another word. I lock him into silence. I allow him to enjoy his caloric intake, but I raise up from the ground and I stare at him, almost crackling as though I'm going to perhaps inflict him pain or perhaps do something truly, truly evil. But I hold back and I look inward and I turn and I close the door behind me, unable to fully, fully, fully let go and struggling with what he's forcing me to face in that moment. And you realize as you go to raise your hands, your joints feel a little stiff as they actually start to creak almost like a metal door hinge as you begin to actually, the rest of your morning routine is slowed down because your joints are incredibly rusty and almost metallic and your footsteps are heavy. I can't brood at all like this. As you think back to this and suddenly you snap back to reality. Hey, hey, y'all right, Betsy? We lost you that first time we've been talking to you. You just kind of like zoned out for a minute there. Y'all right? Huh? Huh? I said, are you all right? You zoned out and we were talking to you. Yeah, sorry, I need more actions from my enemies. Ooh, I could take some more too. Oh yeah, here you go. Booker, sorry that I've also been zoning out lately. It's all right. Everybody's been a little distracted. It's been a tough, you know, couple weeks and now, you know, it's the equivalent of a Monday and nobody wants to be here. I'll say Mondays. They sure are tough. I've just been over here trying to figure out what word rhymes with orange. Door hinge. Betsy, you figured it out. What? Door hinge. Rhyme with orange. It's close. I mean, it's not really one word. You really do know the universe's greatest mysteries. I'd give it to you. I'd give it to you. They're totally rhymes. Oh, that's right there. What do you mean you'd give it to her? It's a stretch, but you know, I'd give it to her in a competition. I'd award a point. I mean, Booker, for all of us, you're a jazz musician. I feel like you'd be fine with just sort of like, That's what I'm saying. It's a little free for me. You know, I'd give it to her. I'm just saying, I'd give it to her. We're agreeing. I guess you're right. It's two words and not one, unless it's a compound word. Booker's the last person you want to be asking about this. I'm almost in my trifecta. I have boys over the intercom. Ah, employees of Sea of Cool Express. Terrible, terrible news. I need you. I need you to. I haven't seen Hazel. I asked her to fix my Diggle Facts machine on Friday, and I haven't heard from her since. We think that you went to the farmer's market and killed all of the farmers. She's probably just sick, my gosh. She's probably just caught up. She's got good. I think it might be pronounced Jured. Yeah, it might be. I have good news and bad news. All right, well, hit us with the good news first. Well, the bad news is that I'm suffering a terrible lawsuit. What? Yes, I'm wrongful death lawsuit by some consultants that I had. They were alleged that they are, it is being alleged in the lawsuit that they died on the job, but they just never showed up for work. They were a bunch of bums who just never showed up. A bunch of, yeah, it's solutions. Can you describe what they look like? Oh, I mean, what they look like. How can anyone describe it more of a form in a cloak than anything else? Yeah, there's a rose consultant. Oh, yeah, they probably, you know, consultants. There's a terrible energy. They probably just didn't show up. I shuffle my robes for a moment. Okay, so, which means that I have no choice. There's been a request for a job that I've been putting off for several weeks now. But the good news is, it's where you're going isn't so bad where the delivery is. Okay, good. Great. Where are we going? I don't know. I think I got to take a personal day. I can't, you personal days need to be improved. Feel free to submit it. I'm submitting it now. Oh, I'm denying. Denying. Oh, yes, we just need you. It's a blackout period here. We'll see you at Cool Express. Why am I having this lawsuit going on? You understand. Surely you understand. I've been lost this good morning for years. Terrible news. Terrible news indeed. Where are we going, Mr. Weigel? Oh, well, I mean, the good news is the Weigel conflict can get there. I mean, it's, you know, the delivery is in cacophony. That's right. I need all of you to go to hell. You arrive at Weigel's office as he looks at you. He's looking really stressed. He's looking rough. He's looked rough before. But you see now that the many of the brains on his shelf have been either the jars are empty or the brains are shriveled or it's, it's a, it's a, the collection is being depleted. And he's rubbing his forehead and he says, I just was trying to get my tax and my fax machine working. And then I said he's on Friday afternoon to fix it. And I haven't heard from her and I can't find the dangle of faxes that I need to send over to my lawyer. Oh, this is, this is just grave, grave, grave stuff here, folks. Well, Peggy, can you take a look at the fax machine? You think you can fix that? You're like, you know, the tech wizard. No. No. Come on. You're like 40% fax. Not even Peggy can figure out a fax machine. Right. Well, if Hazel's out and then her backup won't do it, who's next up on the backup list? Who knows anything about a fax machine? I don't mean to interrupt, but we're all sort of kind of glazing over the fact that Mr. Weigord, did you say that we're going to hell? Oh, yes. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. How could I have gone, how could I have gone? Did I hear that right? It did sound like you said that. Maybe my helmet's getting in the way. Do you think you can elaborate? Oh, yes. I, uh, all my deadbeat nieces and nephews, uh, they've been trying to order my services for, for some, quite some time. And now I have no choice because I need their, I need their, their services. The, the supervillain overlord business isn't what it used to be folks. The doomsday device industry is really off the decline for, for you see. We're listening. I thought you would ask. No, we're, we're actually listening. Can you maybe get you some fried rice? You've slowed down a little bit. I can, I can get one of the 10 containers out of your mini fridge. Uh, that sounds pretty good. I mean, do we, do we have it? Beep, beep, beep. Oh my God. This is from September of 2023. It's kind of skitter a little bit forward. Ah, yes. Hold on. Oh, it tastes like how I feel. Oh, that. I had to be a wise Friday. I said, you said also that there was good news. Ah, yes. Yes. The good news is you're going to hell. Oh, oh, that was bad. Okay. So it's quick in and out to confirm we are going to hell. Yes. Yes. Well, yeah, you're going to Cacophony, but it's a great thing. Quick in and out, right to the delivery. No, no travel across Arcadia or traveled to across the galaxy like we had to do. So, you know, to the worlds, it's a straight in straight out. Should be pretty quick. You go to the dead beats and you know, the reflections of, of my dangle, Michael is his sins and all of his mortal hatred that he shed. I think he's better than me. Shedding all of his tones of discord and cacophony and his sin and, and mortal hatred. Why does he think he's better than me? Look, I mean, who can say why? Could be on account of how handsome he is. At the end of the day, I got to be honest with you. We're pretty eager to take up these jobs. I mean, this is our, this is our, this is our career, but sending us to hell. Like, I don't think we're prepared for this. I want to be honest with you. Wait, so you're sending us to hell for a quickie with your homunculus? That's what I'm hearing? No, gosh, good. My homunculus would have been called dead in hell. I mean, he's a respectable citizen. Oh. No, you see, you see, he, he shed, he shed all of his mortal sin and, and, and, and hatred and types and traits. So all of his dirty parts are in hell? Oh yes. Yes. Terrible, terrible. And they could became these living beings of real demons, honestly. They're sort of like my pseudo nieces and nephews. It's, it's. Oh, I guess from a certain point of view, you're right. Yeah. I don't like it when you put it that way. Mr. Weigel, this is for my offspring. Yeah. How are we supposed to get to hell? I just take the Weigel copter. Yeah, we'll just take the Weigel copter. It goes anywhere. But, well, I know that, but I don't think any of us can fly the Weigel copter. Oh, that's a good point. Oh dear. Does it have some sort of a autopilot? Just, you know, poop, poop, poop, off we go. I, I think you, you built the Weigel copter. I'm sure that you can fly it. Me? Well, surely. Fly the Weigel copter. I, I hope you can do it. Why do you think that I would be able to fly something called the Weigel copter? I thought it was obvious. Your name was in the title. I just assumed you had the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the ability to, to fly it into hell. I'm sure that Hazel is going to report to work. It's not like her to be late. I suppose I haven't checked on her since Friday afternoon in the Fax Room. And I wasn't able to open the door when I jiggled the door handle. Have we tried the Fax Room? Is she might still be in there? Oh my God. You're going to tell me that Hazel's been locked in the Fax Room all weekend? I wouldn't. She wouldn't. Call her to try it. Do you have any idea what Hazel would be like if she hasn't eaten all weekend long? Oh well, I, I'm sure that she would maybe be a little peckish, but it would be fine. I run to the Fax Room. I run to the Fax Room. Be careful. Now I'm worried our friend is dead or, or, or the bubble is eating her. You, um, she's consumed her like an Ouroboros. Yeah. You make your way through the various tunnels of Weigel's evil layer. You pass the pit of unfathomable despair. Whoa! And you go to a very simple wooden door that says Fax, uh, on it, and you, like, jiggle and it kind of turns, but it's like a little tight, almost like it's stuck. What the heck? Uh, hey. Hazel. Hazel, you know you're okay? Hazel, where's the action check? Fourteen. Fourteen. Fourteen. Uh, you, you, uh, listen and you, Hazel doesn't respond, but you hear a, like, the strange, like, and, and the door kind of moves a little bit and rattles and the door handle kind of almost gives back against you. Oh, God, there's something in there. They're making with me. I think you should. I would be just catching up. I would, I would wheel after you. Oh, God, it sounds like something's alive in there. Grumley, we gotta try to break the door down. Are you with me? Wait, what? Something's alive in there. I hear, I hear like a, oh, do you think maybe it's like, like, like a, like an insect problem? I don't know, but we gotta find out. We gotta find out if Hazel's still in there, that could be bad. Everyone stand back. I'm just kind of bummed out. Yeah, me too, especially my friend is in, is in mortal danger. Well, I mean, Hazel never played Playfighter 63 and a third with us. And because she said she had to fly the Weigelcopter, but if she never had to fly the Weigelcopter, maybe she just never liked playing Playfighter 63. No, she had to fly. No, no, no, no, no, no, let's go fly it. Weigel probably can't fly it. I'd fly it, but the last time I tried to dig flying, less since the instructor was very rude. Pinsy. We're messing around. You knocked the door out, or I'm gonna do it. Come on, let's go. I don't wanna do it. If we just get in that chest and eatin' in three days, she's gonna- Why'd you tell us all to back up? I try to keep the door in the lettuce. Yeah, but he gets consumed by the angry blob within. Lettix, oh no. Come on. I kicked this door as hard as I can. And my ankle rolls. And I like fiber extend my knee a little bit. Yeah, yeah. And I hit the ground. Ah! Look at her. Oh, I think- Oh. Son of a gun, that hurt. Oh. Ah! I'm looking in your danger ankle. Oh, I don't think I can walk on that for a while. Are you okay? Oh, no, no, no. The knee went the wrong way a little bit. I twisted everything. Oh. Ah! Oh, hold on, let me help you. Wait, wait, wait. Hold on, hold on. I have another round of blue boxes. Let me- Oh, it's a bunch of sprays. What? Who wants these? Look, can you pull your- Can you pull your pants leg up a little bit? Let me just get a picture of that. No, the two tight, my pants are too tight. They're very skinny, skinny pants. Oh, it's turning purple. I was saying it's turning purple. Oh, and the legs swelling up, my pants are turning like the sausage casing. I'm just gonna film this. Keep saying, say that sausage casing thing one more time. This is my hurt, this is my hurt. And I also don't know what I'm doing. Are you ready? What do you mean you don't know what you're doing? I don't know what I'm doing. I don't know why you asked me if I'm ready. I've only seen it on a huge class of glas. Look, look towards the camera when you do the pop-in motion. Do it! They always say, dish is gonna hurt. What do you mean pop motion? And then they say on the count of three, and then they say, one, two- Ah! Ah! I'm gonna do it no more. Pass out. Oh, no, he's- Oh, that's gonna make me so much money. He's- he's stopped screaming. He's not in pain anymore. No, no, he's- His leg is the other way. You're pushing beyond pain. You put- Whoa. You caused so much pain that he passed out. I'll say, is that a good thing? No, no, when he wakes up, he's gonna be- He's gonna be angry. Well- He's gonna wanna punch something. No, Book is never angry. He's a pacifist. I don't know. I guess should we still be trying this door? He was so excited about it. Can you try the door? I could give it a shot. He ran at it so, so far and strong though. I mean, I'm good. Well, you probably loosened it up for him. Oh, oh, certainly you probably loosened it up. I mean, I'll give it a try for sure. Just understand that there's a chance that when you open this door, that tendrils will grab you, pull you inside and dissolve your body in moments. I'll say, I'll say, you wouldn't let that happen though. Well, should we move Booker? Cause he's right in front of the door. His leg is L shaped. I'm foaming at the mouth. Oh, no, I think it's like hydrogen peroxide. If it's foaming, that means it's working. I don't think so. I don't do it everyone. Wait, hold on. Mr. ShantaClay, before you try that, let me just check my junior detectors pack. I think mechanically, I literally have something called a pry bar. And I pull from this little satchel, just like a metal proof. Yeah, and I pass it. Use this. Thank you, thank you, girl. Unless you want to try, unless this is something you saw on Groff McScriff. Oh, well, no, you just said you were going to do it. Well, I just said when you had the pry bar and everything, I'll just give it a try. Oh, OK. Make it up. Let it show you got advantage because you have a pry bar. Oh, right. A middle affected DC. 24. You rip the door. The door splinters. Splinters are like, you're shocking the strong fair flame in the way that you look. Whoa, I'm sure I'm losing it up with this foot. None of us saw that. When he kicked it real hard, he should loosen the splinters. The button pops off the upper coat. Look at what's able to open the door. The sleeves rip a little bit on the end. Crowbar. Oh. That was really cool, Mr. Chanticle. Oh, I said, well, I think it was probably a combination that crowbar you handed me from Groff McScriff's Junior Crown Dog Detective Force starter pack and then also and then also a book of kick. So, you know, I just like. Get back. Get back. Oh. Get back from the door. I say a rooster your age to be as strong as you are. Almost as strong as the ancestral hero of clan. No, I want to know. I'm not nearly as strong as that. That is a rooster. No, I could. No, no, I'm just weak. And somebody called me a skeleton earlier. That's going to sit with me for some time. That's going to sit with me for some time, Grumlin. I have to say, that's going to fuel many, many of that. Just follow him that moment. You just say skeleton. Yeah, well, that was this chicken hawk. It was this rooster hawk. He was driving a very environmentally unconsonable vehicle and then as he was driving past, he said, hey, you look like a skeleton. Isn't that one of the ancient ancestral sworn enemies of clan, shanta clan? I'll say it by pure coincidence. I mean, it wasn't my, I didn't say skeleton. He said skeleton. But yes, you are correct in the fact that that is an ancestral enemy of the hero of the house, shanta claire, that used the vampire slayer. Or so I'm told. It's all coming together now. Oh, I miss my over under. I think it's because I don't know what over under means. Everybody stand back. You know, it's very unclear. It is unclear, but everybody stand back. You see, as you almost kind of, you hear the, from the door to the pit of unimaginable torment is right next to the facts. Oh, as you see, you hear as you open this door and you expect to see carpet, you know, wood paneling fluorescent lights. And you see none of that. You see a fleshy, berry like strange growth all across this room as the entire room is almost pulsing with deep veins. As you see in the center of this room, what looks almost like a massive cocoon. Uh, exactly right. That is pulsing. And you realize now that the tendrils of this cocoon are, have, uh, are pulsing and you follow the lines of where it's coming to the right side of the room. And you realize that there's many cracks split into the brick and the stone of this wall, perhaps breaking through this wall and connecting to the pit of unimaginable torment. Oh no. As you see these, across these veins from the cracks being sent into the center of this strange cocoon, as you see this horrible flesh horror abomination, that's also the facts round. Oh my gosh. And you actually see that the facts machine is completely untouched. It's still in the word. She's, she's been trapped in this room. She's been transformed. Can you imagine being trapped in a single space for so long? It's unimaginable. What have we done? We just left her here all weekend. I said, are we still in this? This is hazel. I mean, this is within. It seems connected to the room and there's the pulsing and the heartbeat and this is pretty bad. And to be fair, we didn't know she was in here. That's all on Weigour. Probably helped me up. My legs completely mangled. Oh, did I fix you? No, I think you made it infinitely worse. But we can talk about that later. I'm going to get a clutch or something. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. OK. Maybe you can also get a matching set of robot legs. Well, I still have the one good leg. Don't get any ideas. Maybe you could have one robot leg and one leg match. I might need one. I mean, good Lord. What I don't know what you did to me. This is never going to heal right. Ah, what are we going to do about this guys? Leave us. You hear a voice all around you as this, this fleshy growth all across the chamber speaks. I'll step forward and I will put my hands together. My sleeves will shift down to make elbows just a little bit as I look up and around at the fleshy growth. Voice. I think I know you and I think that you know me. I think that you know Hazel and I think that you are in despair. Follow my voice. Follow the words that I speak. Speak with me so that we may commune and understand one another. We gorge and we slumber. Leave us. I think we should do what it says, Betsy. Quiet. I'm trying to talk to the gorge and the slumber and the voice. I think he wants you to leave. I know he just asked that, but this is just part of the negotiation. We're going to find a middle ground. The souls are endless. The torment, the suspenders. Hear me, gorge and voice. Those souls are endless and you will not be satisfied. Where is Hazel? Show us to her. We are Hazel. We are Bumble. We are the hunger beyond time. I don't like to sound at that. I don't like it either way. I think we'll leave. I don't think we'll leave. I think he's fine. You know, Hazel and Bumble got a thing going on. We just let them do it. Hazel, are you in there somewhere? Maybe you could also say something other than just Bumble, maybe. Yeah, I'm a little concerned, but Peggy's right. For all we know, she does this every weekend. We speak with our voice. See, they're like a thing. They're like a couple. Let's just let them do their thing. I thought you and Hazel got Nando's at one time without me on the weekend. Oh, that was like a Thursday night. It was delicious. Yeah, it was like the equivalent of Sunday. I was in for a little Thursday, like evening. The croutons were made at Carl's. You know, school, medieval school. I remember being like a lazy Sunday, but maybe do we have like a snow day that day or something? Dude, was it from work? Did we leave from work? I believe canonically we left right from work. Oh, OK. Oh, sweetheart. Yeah, no, no. Because that weekend, you, Bitsy, Jean-Claude, Hazel and I went to medieval times. Oh, I mean. That was a different weekend. Oh, that was a different weekend. I'm very keenly hobbled behind you. You went to Kavalon Times for that. No, no. Probably we would never. We would never go to Kavalon Times. The roasted baby dragon was fucking un- You shut your mouth, OK? You shut your mouth. I want to go to Kavalon Times so bad. That's not true. Is it, Booker? No, no, of course he only speaks nice, right? He rooted for Garth the Green. I always wanted to root for Garth the Green. Fuck. You were really into your movies. You were talking about the movies and how you were going to watch them. Yeah, there were no Gary Coopers anymore. The Strong Silent type. Yeah, you were really into it and we just didn't want to pull you away from it. We were just concerned. Well, you know how I can only binge watch, right? I hate watching week to week. Right. So you were using that day to catch up and you really just didn't want to throw a rest in your bag. And you said you were an introvert and you need your alone time to refill your battery. Right. The roast baby dragon just sounds so delicious. Look, it's nothing personal, Gromly. We just, you know, we were looking out for you. We thought it was best for everybody. And I think they also have a molten chocolate lava cake there. We will coo back to Caval on time. I have a coupon. Now listen. Bumble. We need to pilot the YGORCOPTER. Are you capable of such a task if you're not able to reduce Hazel? Present thyself. My hobble backwards. This is not going to go over there. I will pull my hat off. And I will shuffle my robes free, leaving only a very, very thin body armor that I wear underneath to protect myself in case of sudden attack. And I will step forward into the fleshy chamber. And I will put my arms out onto both sides of my body and look up. I am bitsy, little bitsy. What do you say, Bumble? You seek to be the perfect being, to open the door of truth and consume the gods. Sometimes. I mean, it's like more of a hobby, but yes. Only such a power can stop me. I do not wish to stop you, Bumble. And I appreciate your desire to feed. You've been feeding on souls all weekend, unable to go to the humble farmer's market for its wonderful, wonderful fruits, vegetables. Don't forget the cherry tomatoes. Oh, the cherry tomatoes. Oh, the cherry tomatoes are so good. You will describe to that experience, which is why you are the way that you are. The farm fresh sourdough. Don't forget the farm fresh sourdough. Oh, the sourdough is crazy. I care not for farmer's markets. What? It's all just a bunch of AI slop art these days. You've forgotten. The farmer's market will persist. It will survive. Just like the middle class, it will move on past this and rise again. Such foolishness. This is why you persist. This is why you fail. Make it a intelligence saving throw as you feel tender and go into your brain. I'm rolling with the natural one. I'm rolling with the natural one. It's fray day. Oh, no. You feel yourself wracked with agony. As you all see these fleshy, berry like tendrils go into bitsies ears as they slither as you are going to take two levels of exhaustion. Oh, oh, oh, oh. Mine's for all roles. And you're going to take. Ouch. Yikes. That's not a little exhaustive. That's a middle exhaustion. 14 points of psychic damage. Oh, yep. Oh, yep. But you're not dead. You gain proficiency and expertise in transports. Oh, damn. As you think back to your flying instructor, Greg, he was a human, not a start as human, just a human. And he was driving school. And you think that you're driving instructor Greg. And how he made that tone as you tried to parallel park that you didn't care for. And it turns, you have the flashback memory and suddenly it becomes hazel, but she's different. There's something different in the eye as Greg Hazel, you're not sure who it is anymore. Is it bumble? And you see the form then as this form shifts and you see Greg again shriveled and emaciated it as he is. Oh, no. And then you see the perfect idealized form of the rat-like visage with the chisel jaw, long blond hair and the pristine white toga as he says, open the door of truth as you are ripped back to reality as the door slams. And you hear the wailing soles of the pit of unfathomable torment get a little bit quieter. I will land and... I'll stay busy. Oh my goodness. Are you okay? What happened? I got my very best to pull Hazel out from wherever she is, but I was unable to free her. However, I have diminished, but I have gained the knowledge I think that I need to captain the Waggorcopter. Well, I'm glad it worked out for you, but hasn't anyone told you you don't interrupt someone post-mastication? No, I've lived for centuries and no one has ever said that. You've never been to rub someone when they're masticating. It's a private time. No, I know. But I'm glad that you're okay. Dude, Bitsy, that thing went in your brain, like right in your earholes. It wouldn't be the first time. I'm pulling my robes on. I'm fixing my cat up on my head. So is Hazel dead? I do not think that Hazel is dead. Merely that she is temporarily one with Bumble, and that Bumble is the dominant mind. Until Hazel can find her way out, she and it will feed. Feed on the pitiful fathomless hornet. I mean, Hazel's probably enjoying that. Well, if the spirits within taste like sourdough and strawberries and cherry tomatoes, yeah, that sounds pretty good. Well, I mean, to be fair, we don't know if what's happening to her right now is a bad thing. Maybe this is what her and Bumble are. This is what they do. Right, maybe she's just like hibernating, like she had a big pasta salad. If she hadn't been locked within, we would have known her. Locked without. When she comes back, do you think she's going to be able to wield the power of thousands of tormented souls? That would be awesome. That would be so cool. I mean, that would help with our deliveries. That would be nice. It would be a shame we can't unleash her on hell that we're going to now, right here in the moment. That timing is unfortunate, for sure. But you know, if we're all weakened after getting out of hell, then she can handle the heavy lifting. Okay, I mean, I guess there's nothing left to do now if you feel like you can fly the Ligocopter. Maybe we... I have pulled those memories within me. Maybe we, you know, just as an offering to Bumble, we throw in some of those ashes of your enemies. So, you know, thank you for not consuming us, and keep Hazel safe. We'll be back from hell shortly. Oh, press current. Do you think that once Hazel gets a chance to consume all the souls of the pit of unfathomable torment, she can maybe cover all of our shifts for a day, and we can take the day off and go to the mines? That's what Kavalon times. It feels like we've done a whole lot here. So, look, here's the thing. I think that's a possibility, but after consuming all of the souls of the pit of unfathomable demise, or whatever it's called, if you think she's not going to want to come with us to Kavalon, she's going to let us go off to dinner without her. You're wrong. Well, we have to do this job without her, so I figured it's just like a solid thing like a co-worker could do. We should talk about it. I think we should discuss it. And the lunch rates at Kavalon times are way cheaper than dinner rates, so we could save some notes as well. I'm fine paying the dinner rates. I bet she's got their coupons. Yeah, we all make so much money. It's not like any of us is strapped for cash. Oh, no. I could text my Grammy, I guess. But we can figure that out later once she finishes consuming all of them. You know what? You missed out on Kavalon times last time. It's on me. For you, I got you next time. You don't have to. At least I can. I feel bad. I'm sure my Grammy savings can cover it. That's not necessary. Besides, you've got to save that for your storm bedding. Oh, I should check on that. As we make our way back to the Lycorcopter. Real quick. Yeah. Oh, yeah, that's right. You came back to the ashes. I run back with the creamer. And I, if I can open the door and yell in, I will scream in and I will say, Bumble, you took much of my energy and I will trade you the ashes of my enemies for that which you took. Do you accept? Make a persuasion check. Oh, maybe. An advantage. Because of what you've lost. I'll use my advantage dice. That's going to be in 18. Does that minus the four? In 18. 14. 14. You hear a voice. Cast it into the room. I will consider. We will consider. I think you will enjoy the taste. And I will hurl it into the room. Oh, I'm really going to have to get Kelscar out of it. She's watching, I'm sure. You see the fleshy, berry-like alien biology consume it as the door closes. As you hear over the intercom. Oh shucks. The Dague Facts machine went out again. Let's take a break. Let's take a break. Hold a break there. Oh. The Dague Facts machine. The Dague Facts machine. The Dague Facts machine. The Dague Facts machine. The Dague Facts machine. The Dague Facts machine. The Dague Facts machine. The Dague Facts machine. The Dague Facts machine. The Dague Facts machine. The Dague Facts machine. The Dague Facts machine. The Dague Facts machine. The Dague Facts machine. The Dague Facts machine. The Dague Facts machine. The Dague Facts machine. The Dague Facts machine. The Dague Facts machine. Hello. Hello. Hello. Hello. Hello. Hello. Hello. Hello. Hello. Hello. Hello. Hello. Hello. Hello. Hello. Hello. Hello. Hello. Hello. Hello. Hello. Hello. Hello. Hello. Hello. Hello. Hello. Hello. Hello. has lots of like leftover artifacts from like dead previous employees. Oh yeah. And I was looking for like a single crutch to help with my busted up leg. Oh yeah, you absolutely find that. I find some old like nasty crutch. Yeah. And I use that on my way to the Wygworkopter. There's still a skeletal arm attached. Yeah, you just kind of shake it off. Yeah, yeah. Get down. Perfect. And I will crutch my way to the Wygworkopter. I'm feeling reduced by my experience confronting Bumble in his purest form. I will also stumble into the Wygworkopter. You make your way to the Wygworkopter and you see... People are saying that on Twitch they didn't actually see what happened after Bitsy threw in the ashes so they don't know whether Bitsy worked or not. Oh, it was unclear to me as well whether or not I lost. It was, it was said, Bumble said that we consider. You'll see it in the Vod. They'll see it in the Vod. They would consider it. You're the Wygworkopter. I'm still, I'm still with two levels of exhaustion. The Kramer was accepted but I did not get any boon from that. And you all make your way into the Wygworkopter and Bitsy. It's you who sits behind the... And you've know how to, you've never, you failed your driving school especially after that fucking jerk Greg said that rude comment about your parallel parking. But now you suddenly know how to fly the Wygworkopter perfectly. I think about the soiling that he's looking from the spoon right now and as I start to flip the switches and everything feels very familiar. All of a sudden a console that has many mysteries as I have been able to unravel in the cosmos. It has never been one of them and yet for whatever reason. Oh, of course. A few flicks here, a tap tap here, a turning of a knob in this direction. I'm going to attempt to bring the Wygworkopter online and start to set a course for capital C to confident. You press the buttons instinctually. You know.哎哎哎哎哎哎哎哎哎哎哎哎哎哎哎哎哎哎哎哎哎哎哎哎哎哎哎哎哎哎哎哎哎哎哎哎哎哎哎哎哎哎哎哎哎哎哎哎哎哎 enjoy a little bit of Nintendo 64 and and and clay fighter 63 and three quarters. As it how big Sam again, I always like to be Sam. As you get your ass kicked by big Sam, who shouldn't be there? Conor Gunnar battle salt, too. Yeah, I mean, I get this. Yeah, exactly. Every game, big Sam is there. As you press a few buttons and then all of a sudden you your destination is cacophony as you hear Yes, you're on big time. As suddenly you all smell sulfur and brimstone as you all see the entire the wider copter goes completely dark and smothered in shadow with just hints of red all along the entire space. Your screen goes dark on the TV. Your console goes goes dark as is simultaneously so hot and too cold. It smells overly saccharine and a horrifically pungent at the same time as the entire why go copter shakes and goes as you feel like your stomachs leave you as if it's not like flying across Arcadia. It's not like flying even into the to the hypergrid or flying into the galaxy proper as you burst into a realm of chaos and evil as all around you. You feel like you've been warped into this horrible storm as you see crackling bolts of chaotic lightning all around you. But everything is red and smoky and shades of grayscale deep, deep, deep shadows and hellish reds all around you as suddenly you feel like you don't know which way is up. But you know that you have to get forward and you don't have to travel very far as you see ahead of you. What looks like a what looks like a very simple dark door that is ahead of you and there's the symbol of what looks like an eye on this door as you realize now that there's floating on this or it's it's on this hunk of floating rock amidst the storm of cacophony all around you. You've arrived at the hellish realm of cacophony and it's it will take you no more than a minute to land on this floating almost like a piece of meteor or a piece of asteroid in this hellish storm. My hands are flying across the console. I'm flipping switches. I am piloting left and right dodging. I imagine veins of lava that are flying and and and other rocks as we as we continue to fly closer and closer towards this door. And Bissy gives us say something that she wanted to say. Part of the inspiration for becoming a pilot in the first place. She taps on the communications so that the rest of the ship can hear. In the pipe, five by five. And I continue to rock it forward as I pilot the Hawaigorcopter closer and closer, trying to look out for danger if there's any in any direction. I will need you to make a. Make a dexterity check with your transport at advantage or because you have expertise and your provision. The hell, man. I rolled a two and a three. Oh, so that's going to be a six. A six minus four is two. Two six minus four is two. Double your provisions. Fuck. Sorry, I'll add an additional two to that. I'm sorry, I get four. Nice. You remember the horrible things. In the pipe, five by five. As you exactly happen, as you get ripped forward, rock it. As you try to land in, but then you get ripped in as a massive burst of can of storm hits you. As you get whipped up almost in this maelstrom, as you spin around and around and around. As you see, you realize now that in this horrible storm of cacophony, that this this hunk of fiendish asteroid that you're trying to get to is almost shaped like a perfect circle. Once you realize that as you see above and below that amongst midst all the red lightening and red flame, you see almost pitch black below you and pitch black above you. As if there's a pitch black eye, a pair of pitch black eyes watching you. From above and below, as you are whipped around, as you make a violent crash landing onto this thing. And I need everyone to make a dexterity saving throw and a charisma saving throw, dexterity saving throw first. Dex. Yeah. I'm pretty good at that. That's not bad. We got a 16. OK. And a charisma. Oh, my God, I crushed it. A rich, I'm just very charismatic. What can I say? Oh. Oh. Everyone dex first. Sixteen. Fifteen. Twenty one. Sixteen. Fourteen is the last. Yeah. Fourteen. Bitsy, you're going to take. Four. Nineteen points of damage. Nineteen. Yeah. God. Nineteen. OK, well, my charisma throw doesn't matter because I smash into the console thinking of Greg and cursing his name as I my hat flies off of my body and I slump into a unconscious body form against the ground. And I will say that there are paddles on the bottom of the the Y Gore copter to straight left and right. I fall on the left strafe paddle and all of a sudden the entire Y Gore copter starts. Flying left. Oh, my God. I am down as as Bitsy is slumped over. And now you all feel yourself start to spin with Y Gore's face almost grinding into this asteroid that's spinning. And it's not enough to lift it up, but you are slowly moving in this strange gyrating pattern. Bitsy. Oh, bitchy, get up. I'm like in it. I got my crutch in one. I'm in a chair way in the back. Oh, my God. Somebody get us. I got you. This is part of the five by five. I run up to Bitsy and I put my hands on her. I lay my hands on her and you'll see my hands sort of glow because I'm wearing like cool sci-fi gloves as I just start pushing her. Bitsy, fix it, fix it, fix it, fix it, fix it, fix it. Fix it, fix it, fix it, fix it, fix it. Bitsy, were you out of Bitsy coins? Well. When I drop the zero hit points, I can spend the token. No, all of a sudden, a lemon, you see a lemon suddenly burst free. Bitsy's from Bitsy's now. Oh, I touched my paw. And then I put it under the floor. It touches your paw and instead brought to one hit point instead. It splats on the floor. I can't use that again. I'm going to cross it out. And so just so I remember correctly, it was Jean-Claude and Booker that got a 15 or higher on their original Christmas. Oh, Christmas? Yes. No, no, earlier at the very beginning. Oh, that was just the two of you. That was just us three. OK, I need to now know your Christmas saving threat. I got a 25. OK. 20 on the dot. OK. 16. OK, 15. OK, 21. OK. You all feel, you all smell the stink and the sweet. You feel the hot and the cold. As all of these strange sensations that are around you, as you feel mockery, you feel hate, you feel all of your world worst impulses as hell itself leaks in around you. As Grumly has made you conscious. But the wire copter is still spinning. I pull myself up onto the console, releasing the pressure from the left straight button. And I look at the... Fix it, fix it, fix it. I look all around through the windows and I look at what is happening directly in front of me because I imagine there's still a tremendous amount of turbulence that's happening. What do I think that I need to do in order to correct this as I curse under my breath? Damn it, Greg, tell me to check the mirrors one more fucking time. I need you to make another transport check. Do music. W. A little bit of damage. Another dexterity vehicle. Do actually... Why don't you use intelligence if you'd like? It doesn't matter. Roll the natural one. Your advantage. Your advantage? At advantage? Thank God, I'll use my advantage dice. Surely it'll be fine. Not a one, not a one. OK. OK. I can't see that as well. You have to minus four. Six. Not too bad. Not too bad. Two minutes are going to be OK. We're going to be OK. We're going to be OK. I'm dead. Is that a chaos storm? I don't think even as a 10 that was going to pass, Derek. I'm really cool with my fucking- You're gonna have to start in that month. You go, oh! Oh, Bintzy, I'm gonna show you a grant with Elvish Knowledge. I know how! As you settle down, as you start to slump, and it finally stops- You know what I think, Bumble didn't actually grow. Bintzy just lied. Bintzy just lied. As straight out. I actually left my checkpoint in my shitty apartment back in Arcadia, and I go home. You feel sick, and suddenly it stops, and you are like, oh thank god, and then... As you rock it once again, whipped up, as you look up above you, as you see now, they're- everyone make a perception check and disadvantage for us. This is so fucked up. Disadvantaged? Oh, but I got an Adrenal 20. 13. No, perception check. 13. 11. Also 11. 5. I don't know what you're gonna do with this. If I were you, I'd be like, what the fuck do I do? I feel like Luke Skywalker in that looping video. Falling down the trash compact. All you see is the Gukovina storm all around you. No, you haven't even said it. It's kind of almost- it's a pitch black above and below you, and you almost feel like you're in this perfect cylindrical shape as you're being whipped around. And then I need to make one more transportation advantage. Oh no. I'm screaming at the top of my mind. You can do Intelligence as well. Did any of us do well on Perception? No. Oh my god. Okay. All right. I can use Intelligence. 15. Wow. You are able to finally bring it back in as it's a violent crash landing. I need one more dexterity saving throw from all of you. Does it manage your regular? Regular. Oh, baby. I got another 16. 17. 21. Eight. Everyone who got under 15, you take 11 points of blood. No. She's making a death. She's- I think it's a one-on-one. I'm just crashing into the cabinet. Are you all right? Are you okay? Are you all right? I like hobbler. You hurt my robot leg. Your robot leg hurts. I didn't even know that was possible. You're feeling in your robot leg? You like nerve endings in your robot leg? You know, it's kind of unclear. We don't have time to practice. I'm just- Lay in the cabinet. Lay in the cabinet. Bintz, somebody help Bintz. Bintz, come on, Bintz. I'm just so glad. I can't look. I try to put Grumly over my shoulder with my crutch and my one arm and hobble him over to Bintz. See if he can save her. The booker, they said they were going to make me more bitling than bitling. I don't know if they've succeeded. Come on! Come on, I got you, Bintz, come on! I'm trying to Sam and Frodo carry him over to Bintz with the crutch and one arm and try to get you to Bintz as he packs her up. You got a healer, come on! Oh! You can't do it! I'm like holding it. Come on, come on. I can't play the saxophone, what hand did? I don't know if I can heal at one foot it. One robot foot it. You can't do it. You never once used a robot to heal anybody. Bintz, make a death saving throw. Mom! It's also minus four on that. Yeah. It's all D20 tests. Okay, I get a dirty one. Does that mean to do that? I don't know. I don't know. I think it has to be a natural one. Oh my god! Bintz set up shop in hell. Bintz ain't ever leaving hell. So the thing is in Neon Odyssey we have sci-fi class skins and some Siamian forces instead of Leon hands. The future is called Leon Two Robot Feet. What's going on? I saw that on my character sheet earlier. And how am I going to heal? I guess I could try. Oh! I place one of my robot feet on Bintz. I pull my camera out. I start filming it. And a jolt of electricity will emerge from my foot. And you're going to go, And I'm going to heal Bintz from one point of health. Okay. Oh! I wasn't at my full strength, but did that work Bintz? Are you okay, unconscious? You see a small amount of vapor emerge from Bintz's mouth. Yes! Oh! F***! I said, Bintz landed before you die again! We're still flying! Bintz landed! You're going to die again, Bintz! You don't stand a chance. Oh, we crashed! We stopped! We stopped! By the gods! This is the night we're out to a terrible start! Do you know that most aviation disasters are either on takeoff or landing? That stands the reason. Bintz, how are you feeling? I feel like a tomato squeezed out of a hamburger right now. It's bad, it's bad. I feel like a drop of posh. What are we going to do? Oh, it's nothing sadder than a drop of posh. Do you feel like spilled butter sauce on light beige gaggy pants? Exactly, Gryffly! I feel God, I feel Roof! Oh, there's nothing worse than that feeling. Oh, but you didn't piss yourself, did you? Surprisingly not! Oh, thank the gods, thank the gods. Do you want to go to the hospital? Oh, thank the gods, thank the gods. Do we? Do you just... Because if not, there's a weird smell in here. Is that right? Yes! How would you assess if you got here? We're over here making quality piss and shit! How dare you! How dare I? You smell kind of... This is why we need to replace you. You just don't get it. I'm doing something, I was doing something. I say, Bitty, why are you cleaning up all that shit in your pants? We should go through there and go with the high of the toner. Well, I think the problem is Bitty's wearing a robe, so... You're not wearing any pants. It's just smeared between your teeth. I can't believe I'm going to say this. I saw myself in the trailer, I asked what you think. I voted murder bitchy. I beat her to death in my crutch. That was my big crutch, yeah. He's on there at this point. Oh, no! No one has Mr. Weigl. What would it have been? That's why I was literally about to be like, do you know how to dossier? Do we have anything you have a mission for me? He asked us to check on him on our way to the local government. No, he said it was loaded into the comp. No, he said it was loaded into the comp. We didn't do bagel colub. He left and didn't even bring it with us. He said it was loaded into the comp. What I was trying to ask is do we have any kind of dossier? We know it's on the comp, sir. You do have a dossier. Thank you. Oh, thank you. And you are able to grab it. And you see that the sum is for a tremendous number of notes. Wonderful. And you see that the... Mesa's trying to play footsies with me. Nothing trying about it. He's been doing that with everybody. There is no trying. There is no trying. And you know it says speak with client first. Okay. And I assume we have some information on where the client is. He was talking about the different, you know, sins. You get it through the door. I'm just making sure from a meta perspective we know... He said we'd land right there. We'd land. I take the dossier. I take the dossier. I take the dossier. I take the dossier. I take the dossier. I take the trusty card reader. Next card reader that we always use. And I like, stash them into my pocket. And I have my crutch. And I'm like, all right. Okay. Buckle up. We got to go through that. We got to go through that door. Oh, sweet gods. We're already in fucking shampoos. Peggy is perfectly fine. I'm just hovering in the middle of the space. Two for next to one of those. Two for next to one of those. The crutch. Yeah. No, I took it from the old lost and found. I think the old dead employee left it behind. There's an old man back there. Where's my crutch? I got nothing for you, buddy. I guess I'll just sadly leave. Get cybernetic. Can't you just like, turn your bottom half into a wheel? Oh, yeah. You, you could be a little like, super dumb. You, you could be a little like, super tainted. Come on. We got to go. Oh. Oh. I wheeled down the gangplank. Okay. Yeah, you do. Right behind as fast as I can go. You wheeled down the gangplank. You hear. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh. I'm around you. Just hoard the screams of the dams and the torments. As you arrive, it's front of this massive door that seems to be made out of this ancient looking stone. Split down the middle. A double door. And there's four quadrants in each one that have these strange horrible markings on it. As you arrive and you see that other split that down the middle is glowing with this pulsing red energy. I have a eye waste no time. And I I'm hobbling and crutching my way. There's bass I can't uh, uh, uh, uh. I get rid of the door and I'm Hello! Let us in! Let us in! There's like, I mean, like, are there meters? Are there meters like around this? Right here you can't see. Oh! Oh! Oh! I said, oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Um, as, uh, so you're the one who's at the front. Yeah, I don't even, I just, I hobble as fast. I'm way into it. I'm way in the back. Um, as, As you hear a voice emanate through, as one saw, one quadrant of this door kind of pulses with this dome. It's like, uh, there's still reds, but it's like a coolish red. And you feel cold. As you hear a voice. What is it that you sacrifice? Sacrifice. What do you mean sacrifice? I, I, I, I, Look at us! We're in shambles. We're here to make a delivery. We were talking to speak with a client. His name is Booker T. Raccoon. And I work for Siro Cool Delivery Express, Circle Express delivery company. Please let us in. I can give up a gallon of breast milk. What? What? Will you sacrifice what is needed to enter the door? Uh, Pages of the breast milk thing! The breast milk thing, can we, can we do the breast milk thing? Uh, Do you have that on hand? I mean, it'll take about 10 minutes or so. I gotta turn the pump on. Uh, as Peggy, as something, a, uh, a different panel flashes. And it has these, once again, same reds, but, uh, there's hints of these oranges and ambers, and it feels sickly. And then you hear a grunt. A grunt. A grunt. That's really not, we don't hear that. We turn our ears off. We turn, we take our ears off. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. And you get the sense, Peggy, that it is asking you to pledge to sacrifice what's needed to enter the door. Somehow, from all that, I understood that it's asking me to sacrifice what's needed to enter the door. Oh, you can understand that? Jesus, you know what that means? Do you have any idea? Why, I was hoping the breast milk thing would work. I mean, people paid $1 for that. I mean, it marks to work. Speaking of which, someone's been stealing my breast milk out of the refrigerator at work. Which one of you, Fox, has been taking that? Oh, yeah. This reminds me. This reminds me. No, no, no, no. No, please. Please, please, no. No. No, no, no. Please. I have a feeling that that new guy missed the blizzard, but I'm not under protection. Oh, boy. Uh... You... I need all of you to make a Christmas saving throw. I need to go home. Wait, that was... Oh, no. Oh, thank God. Oh, I finally got cut. Finally got cut. Is it charisma? Oh, so well. 11. 10. Was it... this was an image, right? Nope. It's a Christmas saving. I got an 8. A natural 1. Perfect. I fail. As you have... Suddenly all four panels open. Oh, they flash. And you hear a... As the glowing red energy pulses. As you... As the door is open. And you hear... Pfft. Pfft. Oh, my God. As... As... A strange room of... A dark room is before you. As you hear Booker. You may enter. Bring us our delivery. I don't even... Well, do we know... Shit. Do we have a package or something? Step into the room. I go right in there. I just hop. Scary. I run in as fast as I can hop a little. My crutch. You'll enter? I'll enter. I limp. I limp in. I wheel. I speed in. As the door slams behind you. As... Quiet, somewhat. Yeah. I'm not sure what it turns. Pfft. Pfft. It's gone a while. Hello? Hello? Did anyone actually pay the price? Because I didn't give up anything. It's extremely unclear. If we survive this, can I just put in a humble request that everyone accurately labels the various cringles in the office? I don't think that's too much to ask. No, that's just respect. Very valid request. That's just good thinking. Guys, I'm beginning to think that we're the sacrifice. I think we might be the delivery. I said there's no way we're the delivery. I assume. There's no way. Why go and do that to us? Who else is going to deliver his stuff? That's right. He can't lose a whole delivery crew and just replace them overnight. Yeah, I mean, think about... Wait, wait a minute. What happened to the crew before us? Oh, Mr. Weigour does reminisce about them a lot. He does say torn to shreds a lot. The lost and found is just full of random old employees. That's why I found this crutch. Oh, and then there was the crew before that, too. Yeah, and why do they all seem to quit working at the same time? That's a good thing. This is a mystery. Hey, we're here. We enter just like you asked. We're here to make the delivery. We're here. We're here. I mean, now that this is a strange room of ancient ancient stone and it looks like it's almost like you're in a ruin of...is it a throne room? Is it a temple? It's hard to tell, and... Bidsey, I need to make a history check for me at Advantage. I mean, these dice aren't going to roll. If you're hoping that I win this... Oh, my God! You got it. 13. Dekka. Dekka. Dekka. Dekka. Dekka. Dekka. Dekka. Dekka. Bidsey, you don't know how you know this, but you recognize the ruins of Xerxes. Dekka. Dekka. Dekka. Wow. As... Oh, yeah. I can't believe you called that. I want it. I want it as my moment. As... As... As these... You see four corners of the stone-ruined chamber, a light. Wait. And four figures are sitting... sitting within. As you see in one corner, that's cool and cold and dark, is a being that looks almost skeletal. And there's a hint of rat, but you feel it gets actually with more pointed ears. It's almost bat-like, but it's almost like a being of desiccated flesh and skeletal fragments. In the other corner, you see that there is a being that's almost made entirely out of metal tubing and strange fiendish machinery that's glowing and pulsating with this horrid... It almost looks like muscle or intestine, but it's very clearly a living machine. In the other, you look... you see what looks like a mad, horrible, but also dummy-thick jester. Oh, that's sad. And it's very dummy-thick and actually surprisingly beautiful. The first two seem to be male. The other two figures seem to be female, as that was the one. The other one, it looks almost like a person at first, but you realize now where it's a vaguely humanoid shape, but it seems to be almost... you look closer, and it's very insectile. You see too many eyes, too many limbs, and too many joints of this chitinous being. As... God, one of them is sexy, and the other one's like a jester or something. You... You stand... You realize now you're standing in the center of this chamber, despite stepping through a door. You are now in the center, as these four beings are staring at you. Oh, no. Well, hello. We're the delivery people from Siokul Express delivery company. You know, to deliver the... Well, some kind of thing. If you're going to need four gallons, it's going to take a little longer than ten minutes, so... I need you to sign this electronic thing and transfer the notes over so we can be on our way. Our uncle has finally made the agreement. This is where it happened. What does that mean? Yes, yes. Uncle, you mean Wagor? No, I think Uncle's like the new kid slang for like uncool. Oh, who? Yeah. It does say... John Claude was the anger. John Claude, you hear... It's the... insectile creature on the throne opens her mandibles. In response... I kid you. We're at the center of it all. We're right here. This is where it happened. This is where it began. No! This is where it ends! So it's like... Yes! As the metallic hell machine automaton man. Bless you, Mikey. Bless you. Okay, so it's just a little pause for a minute. Good beginning and the end! We don't know what that means. It's just a sign. Great, so sign here. Transfer the notes and we can be on our way. But where did we deliver though? It doesn't matter. We just got to get the signature and get out of here. But here at Booker it says note, cool and speak to client. Right, right. It'll also order itself out. It says sign, give us the money we can go. Oh. Yeah, if you could sign and you'll get a question on the next screen and won't she look away? Just trying. Give us full five stars as we went through a lot of the years. As the voluptuous hot sexy clown jester looks at you grumbling and gestures forward. I think you mean voluptuous. Ooh. Does she mean me or... No, it looks like she's pointing you. Yeah. We had on over to you? Yeah, just, you know, talk to the client that's what we're supposed to do. This is hot sexy clown jester. Here you go. All right. My name is Grumly. Oh, you're a real cutie for duty. Yeah. Oh. Oh. Oh, thank you. She's coughing all over her. That's what my granny says. Oh, that's a lot of blood. Oh, your granny speaks the truth. Here's your payment as you see that there is a card that is held up and it inserts into the machine that you have. Yeah, I took it from Booker. All right. There's just a couple more questions. Oh. Oh, do you want your receipt printed, emailed, or both? Oh. Damn. Oh, God. Beep, beep, beep. Can't even get the right. Because Ed Cacofini financial my voice is my past. Woo. Woo. Woo. Woo. We'll be here to December week. You need to be to Cacofini have reliable bankings. Woo. Authorize. No. Authorize. As finally you hear a beep. Oh. There's the car. No tip, honey. As cute as you are. Damn. No, that's okay. Printed, emailed, or both. You have to answer the question. Oh, God. Can we expense this? No. No. No. No. Even the demons of Cacofini won't mess with the IRS. Yeah. I, we can meddle in the affairs of the gods of Agatha but not even we are foolish enough to trifle with the IRS. Trifle with the IRS. Trifle with the IRS.哎哎哎哎哎哎哎哎哎哎哎哎哎哎哎哎哎哎哎哎哎哎哎哎 I can't believe it. And we have a vessel of our salvation to teleport us out of this prison after our treacherous father imprisoned us here to free him of wickedness and sin and hate and mortal folly. This doesn't sound good guys. We might not be getting out of this one. What do you mean? I think Weigor sent us to our deaths. Well no, I'm sure whatever bag we brought has the souls in it. We are the bags. There's no bag busy. Correct! You are the bags! Oh, I thought they never cleared up that easy. Oh no! It only just now occurs to me that we're doomed and we'll finally get our revenge on that ding all homunculus what created us. I didn't want to roll for initiative. Oh! They all rise forward. Now I get a natural 20. You see the sins. You see the mortal folly of Weigor's homunculus. Rise from your thrones and you now see that these thrones are built on the dead of Xerxes in this strange realm and you realize now before you as a massive glowing glyph emerges beneath you strange runic symbols of cacophony but it all seems to be in the shape of an eye. A symbol of truth as you are the delivery. You are the sacrifice. I need everyone's initiative rolls. I can't believe it. I got a 24. I never saw this coming. I got a 20. I got a not 10. Grumley sounds like man. 16. This is what Peggy sounds like man. Booker Grumley Peggy. I got a not 10. What'd you get? Bitsy and then John calls out a bit soon. So I last. John calls out 17. What'd you get? 17. 16. Wow! We did really well. Shockingly. It was the first 18 I've rolled all night. How's that we doing on hit point was? Bitsy's great. Full. Full. Two thirds. I met a game and shit on something. I know. No you wouldn't know. I think John had a good idea. We know that Bitsy is. I had this idea. My eyes are looking really normal. All of it happened in the copter. Yeah. So it was pretty obvious. I figured I just wanted to make sure everybody else was reasonably okay. And you've been arpeying the ankle but that's not mechanically real. No. No. Okay. He mangled my ACL and my MCL. You just couldn't open the door. That was the only thing that happened. I rolled like a five. Okay. And then probably twisted my leg off. Oh sorry. And his long game will never be the same. That's right. That's right. Oh sorry. No. This is rough. Okay. Oh my god. Oh this makes so much sense. Perfect. Booker. Yeah. Booker. You are up. As you see is this strange skeletal bat like fiend. It surprises. These are, you realize now that this is the essence of corruption, of mockery, of folly, of sin, of hate, of malevolence. As you see this, you feel a chill as this cold, this silver lucha looks at you. What do you do? I lean on my crutch as I try to free up both of my hands and with a flourish and a digital sound from the, from Arcadia itself, my saxophone will materialize out of nowhere as I say. All right guys, let's keep the faith baby. No worries. And I begin to just absolutely just soul jam the hell out of this. And I'm going to start by casting cure wounds on bitsy at a second level. So that'll be 3d8 plus five. Yeah. Nice. That's going to be. Oh, is it? It's a 2d8 plus. Oh, maybe this is 2d8 plus. Oh, yes, you're right. You're right. I misread it. Thank you. Is that affected by your subclass? No. Well, I have something else I can do to save it. I don't believe it gives me any extra. You don't get any oomph? I don't think so. That's all right. I have a special thing that I can do that's not relevant right now. That is going to be 19 points of healing. That's massive. I didn't roll great, but it's better than nothing. That takes me a lift to full because I have my smooth jazz feature where I can make it affect everybody, but that's why I was asking how weak everybody was. I don't want to use it yet to do it. We're here. This one smooth jazz is here. I can choose to affect up to five other creatures when I cast a I didn't the very first episode abduration or enchantment. Yes, but I don't want to do that yet while you guys aren't weak. Oh, soul jamming is just like a reverse. You can make somebody fail if they pass. So this just gives us temp HP. So if you wanted to use this, all it does is your right. Temp HP doesn't heal us. So that's there to be no loss. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. I'm catching on smooth jazz. Oh, yeah. After I cast abduration or enchantment spell, which truans is an enchantment spell, I can choose to expend a use of iconic inspiration, which I will do to choose up to five other creatures within 60 feet of myself, charmed in frightened conditions and on each target, and the target gains a number of temporary hit points equal to two roles in my iconic inspiration die. Come on. Thank you for reminding me. I still D6. Did you get it? Yeah. Three, two, five point temporary hit points to everybody. I'll take it. Five. Yeah, five temp HP, which is a little bit better than not pretty shitty, actually. Not enough. Could be worse. Zero temp points. One, two, three, four, five. And then I have, that's my own turn. That's my own turn. I don't even want to move. I am just laying down this jazz track to try to bolster and heal up my friends. That's all I got. MP steps forward and almost levitating off the ground as he glides down towards you. You have a bit in the center of your soul. Feed it as I feed as he grabs, makes a claw attack against you, slashing at you with these huge bone like claws. That might hit, actually. 18? Yeah, that is. Okay. That's going to deal five points of slashing damage and two points of cold. All right, I take two damage and you are now grappled as you're grappled in his claws and then suddenly you feel the world turned to ash as you look as both Booker and Entropy puff into the burst of ash and cold burst out as he uses bonus action for Ash and Step. He can bring, oh no, me and Chris were saving throw to see if you teleport with him. Come on. Come on. 12. Oh, the DC was 13. Got me. And you both bamf back to his throne. As he looks down at you and opens his jaw and unhinges as he goes, as you see the pit of Entropy within his mall as he's going to use Siphon Life, make a constitution saving throw for me. But because you were on a throne, you're disadvantaged. She's lost. Damn, that's cool. Constitution you say? Yep. DC 13. I got a nine. I got a nine. You gain one exhaustion. Yo, it's oh my God. That's it. You're only your up. No damage. Okay. Just exhaustion. Oh, hold on. I'm being driven. Oh, yep. Um, all right, I got an idea. But you're not restrained. You're just grappled. Got it. Let me just make sure that this is part of the attack action. It is. I will look up at this, this thick, dummy, thick clown. Oh honey. We're not going to be your sacrifices. We can't be delivery. There must be some kind of mistake. Mr. Weigel would betray us like this. Is there any effect, the fact that I failed my saving throw? Initially. Now that you're aware of. Okay. But I have been marking how many you've saved. Oh, at the end of your term, a Christmas saving throw. Excuse me. Yeah. Oh. Damn it. 12. That's two for Booker. Yikes. Two levels of exhaustion. Yeah. Two fails. Two fails. I wonder what the magic number offered to Cacophony. Yeah, it's even lower because of the exhaustion. Thank you, the reminder. Oh, I definitely failed that. My visor just starts scanning with these like yellow scan lines and I'll say, uh, quiet and talk. You want to corrupt me? Well, if you're going to corrupt me, do you want to see a magic trick? Uh, and I'm going to pull out my gun and I'll say, I'll show you a magic trick and then I'll reach into my junior detective's pack and I'll pull out a little book and I'll open it and it's like a bunch of kind of like squiggly multicolored lines. And I'll say, so if you look at this from far away, it doesn't really look like anything, but then if you like, look at it really close and try to cross your eyes and then pull it far away, you can kind of see a dinosaur. See? That's, there's a magic trick for you. Anyway, die. And I'm going to shoot at you. And Booker, you, I don't even see this, but your eyes now have turned spinky black and that matches the void that you feel within you. That might hit. 20 to hit. 20 hits. Better. We're going to bonus action. Cosmics might that's very smart. Good. I'm trying to, I'm trying to avoid gaining action economy here superiority. I'm trying to avoid falling creative this foul demon, the demon, the demon. And it was a 2D8. It's a, it's a fiend. So it is a fiend. Yeah. Wait, but it's a fiend. My cosmic smite deals. Do I have it here? Oh my God. Hold on, hold on, hold on. I should have looked this up beforehand. Is this right? Is this legacy? And increases by 1DA that the target is a fiend around undead. Will that work here? Yeah. Oh my God. I'm just going to smite the fuck out of this. Let's see here. So first. 22 points of damage. Six of it is thunder. The rest is radiant. Uh, doesn't matter as far as damage type. As you are blast with this electrical, this laser blast as it punctures in. Into her as it actually punches an entire hole. This rips into her as she's now bloodied as she says that one. Very nice. Cutie. Is that your turn? And then with my remaining movement, I'm going to look over and see the bookers. Not make a position. And I'll say, Booker, hang in. I'm coming. Uh, one, two, three. I'm pretty fast. I'm going to roll up here and just try to get next to this guy. Um, I'll go here. Actually, I'll go here in case someone else wants to show up and attack this guy too. Um, and just be next to Booker just for my next turn to help them. So my turn. Um, uh, as it is now Thrill's turn. Her flesh closes back together. This strange rubberiness, uh, and almost kind of has this, this, uh, ink as if she's like animated by like, uh, by actual ink as it goes back together. And she says, hold on, honey. You can't get away that easily. Drown out the pain with mama thrill as you see her start to change and shift as he uses her bonus action to, uh, use mockery. As she then turns into this horrible, her eyes bulge out. Her tendrils turn into these pug-like ears. She turns into a strange grotesque mockery of you, Grumly. As she steps forward within 30 feet, no, sorry, uh, within 30 feet to Grumly to Grumly. Oh, easy. Right. Oh, not melee, not melee. Just with it. She does something like five feet. Yeah. You're not the only one with the firearm. I catch gun and you're not going to meet God because we have killed them. And she pulls out the strange cartoonish gun, uh, and with the paint gun will fire. Uh, I'm featuring the guns in the mask when he pulls them out and they're like the rubbery, like the, uh, gaddling guns would show up and whatnot. Uh, that's going to be an 18 to hit. That misses. Thank God. It misses. Wow. And because she was a mockery of you, it would have done extra damage. Oh, wow. But I'll just tell you, because she's a mockery of you, you have advantage on all attacks on her. Oh. And so that's the trade-off. Oh. Hell yeah. That's for just Grumly. Just Grumly. Just Grumly. Just asking. So she has increased damage on you. You have an advantage on her. That is her turn. Um, yeah. Peggy. Okay. Nice try. Peggy, as I go back and forth and dodge. Uh, Peggy, I'm going to rise into the air, just kind of hovering there. Yeah. You can fall. And I'm going to look around. I can't get all of them, but, uh, three you'll do. And I'm going to shoot. I'm going to use Scorching Ray. Yes, guys. But you're just going to see, instead of fire, you see all of these red zeros and ones head towards three of them. It's going to be, um, I'm going to do one, three and four, because those are the ones closest to me. That's all but, uh, could you give me the numbers? I don't have that written down. All but thrill. All but thrill. One, three and four. So one is progress. Okay. One is progress. Three is instinct. Three is instinct. Two is thrill. Two is thrill. Four is, uh, entropy. Okay. Got it. Roll attacks. Um, so yes, I'm going to do that. Oh, I guess I should have, I'll do that. So everyone but entropy. Everybody but thrill. But thrill. One, three and four. I've been transferring my electus entire time to Peggy and so one of these is going to be a natural 20. I think you're right. You were wrong. Let me see. It's plus five. So 17. To which one? Uh, 17 to one. Okay. That was the AC. Good. Oh, okay. Great. So that's the only one that's going to hit that. Whoa. They don't want to see them AC. Number three is definitely not going to hit, but that's a 12. Okay. Misses. And then it's a 16 to number four. 16 is the AC. Oh, you barely hit it. Oh, that's fucking good. You barely hit it. Oh, it was actually, it was a 13 for three. Did I say that? Maybe I said that. Barely misses. Yeah. Yeah. Instinct is 14. Wow. And to the lowest AC. So they are going to do it. They all have different AC's. Two is going to take 10 points of fire damage. Two? Not two. Not two. Sorry, one is going to take. One is going to take. 10 points of fire damage. Yeah. And then four is going to take eight points of fire damage. And then I might need a little bit of ruling on this with malicious code. It's as code that you deploy in production as security holds to exploit later. When you deal damage to a creature with a spell that uses a spell slot, which these do, you can take a bonus action to exploit the hole in their security for one minute. The target subtracts 1d6 from the next d20 test it makes within the duration. Two of them took damage. So can I use my bonus action to exploit both of their holes? Phrasing. You probably have to choose one. I think you have to choose one. Yeah. It mentions the target. The target. I am going to use my bonus action to exploit the hole of entropy. Okay. And so entropy will subtract 1d6 from their next d20 test within the duration. And that entropy took eight damage in progress. So 10. Yes. Okay. I have it good as they both get blasted back. But you see that entropy is just focused on draining the life from Booker. I do. I don't like it at all. And then you see Proglet say, oh, your attacks are futile. And with that, is that your turn? That's my turn. Okay. It's so fun. It is instincts turn. As she looks at you Peggy. As she skitters, surprisingly, she says that very eloquently. Oh, look, it's the hot one. Hold on. No, it's fine. I think it's good. I think it's very good. Absolutely. Oh, she lines up and you see your mandibles dripping with acid and within a 30 foot cone. She's going to get three of you as it blasts out. All of you need to make a dexterity saving through DC's 13 natural 20. Nice. 13. You will take half damage. One moment. If you succeed. Natural 14. 17. Natural 14 minus four is a 10. Give me 10 plus three. 13. You pass. Oh, you pass. DC's 13. DC was 13. 13. Yeah, meter B. Speaking of 13, you will take 13 if you fail with acid damage. You will take half if you succeeded. Nice. So six. So all of our temp HP is gone. That is her turn. Thank God for that. And she'll have to see if she recharges that. With that, it's Bitsy's turn. Bitsy, look at Bitsy. All right, I'm just giving myself a quick HP calc. Sorry. Christmas saving throw, Christmas saving throw. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yep. We'll all remember to do that. I will remember to do that. 19. I probably fail. Gosh. I want to nugget. 9. I need a scared nugget. You look in horror as you start to reflect the mockery that she projects onto you. Your fur starts to turn white as you start to get these markings that almost look like rather than a pug, almost like a Frenchie, like a clown dog. As your nose starts to get larger, as you become more clown like in your corruption. Okay, sorry. It is Bitsy's turn. I am going to... I'm going to move over here and launch a blast of Eldritch energy as I whisper to the many orbs of power that I command and I launch this attack at number three. This is just going to be a classic Eldritch blast and that's going to absolutely miss. That's going to be a 11 to hit. 11 misses. Yep. And with my bonus action, as I am moving, you will see these whispers shroud me, literally a cloak of voices made manifest as spirits and smoke envelop my robes. I'm also casting Armor of Secrets to get myself temporary hit points and just jumping into just plain defense really because Bitsy is not feeling so great. Okay, John Claude. Real quick before you take your turn, I'm having a brain moment. How many squares is 60 feet diagonally? 60 feet diagonally? One, two, three, four. Plenty. Okay. That exhaustion is so painful. John Claude. You're up. I will see all of my allies engage and I will activate my... Who is this? I pull Milo. Where do you come and go? As I twirl on one foot. And like Eskimoor the Lion sent a pride. I grow and my shirt rips off of me and my leathers take form and I pull my fountain pen out of its pocket protector and I whip as it swirls around me like a spiral as my clothes change shape. I'll say, I'll say, you think you are smart locking us in here with you, but you are locked in here with us creatures of the night. Vogue slay our thirsts for the wretched blood of demons of coca-coconut. It cannot be the ancestral weapon of how Shondeklan is the one and the same. You nasty vogue. You are a miserable little pile of secrets. Ah yes, I'll say, I'll say this pile of secrets will reduce you to a miserable pile of ash. And I will attack. My forever saving throw was a 15. My ancestral house is greatest enemy, the barred. Even if you've done this transformation in full view of everyone, Booker still doesn't see it. No, I think everyone is like fit. Everybody sees this. That literally was behind everyone else except for all of the tones of discord. They would know. They still have to succeed. They don't know what happened there. They're confused as hell. That's a 25 to hit the bar. That'll hit. He has the power. The other Mr. Shondeklan is here. You always show up at the best moments. I believe 15 points of radiant damage. Nice. Nice. He lets out a hiss as you this whip of radiance just blasts him. 15, that is pretty intense. Hold on one sec. Let me do 15. He takes it and he's looking rough. He's looking rough. No, it cannot be. You have a power to rule sacrifice. You escape the ruins of Zerksis. I'll just also claim that I'm going to become resistant to piercing, radiant and slashing damage. That is my damage resistance tied to my surging form. And you get a choice. Why? Why do you get to choose? I get to choose because I'm surging as an eternal. I get to choose three damage types from the following. What are the options? Bludgeoning, Fire, Lightning, Piercing, Radiant and Slashing. I don't know if you guys think those are silly choices. I think that maybe if I get off an option. Oh please, yeah. I don't think this is a fire lightning. You see this robot guy sparking with electricity. That's fair. That's fair. And they probably don't like anything about radiant. It's my guess. Did somebody do radiant damage already? No. That's my suggestion. And lightning. I was just being resistant. I was not trying to meta game. I was just merely pointing out how fucking cool Surge is in neon. Go to neonrpg.com. You see as the damage that Peggy's blast of virus had done starts to repair itself. As self repair, it heals 10 damage, fully healing. Progress. Progress is the last to go. Let me just double check here. I got a cool balloon. Progress is the one in my face, right? No, that's insane. This is over here on the throne. Oh, yeah. You don't know who hasn't left the throne yet. I think this might be my finest one. Oh, it looks so cool. This is great. Thank you. For those who are student keen eye viewers at home, I've drawn the Alchemical Subbine. I'll order you a plethora of dry erase. Thank you. I need every color of rainbow. You got it. You cannot stop the march of progress. Because I have a gun. As you see, as you see progress pull out this huge crackling of long barreled plasma rifle that is crackling with energy. As he will levy his aim one at Peggy, one at Bitsy. Remember, knock him out. For lunch is time theft. We have 16 no scope. As he spins around. Jump shots. Jump shots. And they bang. As he will. Chef wishes. We're getting Peggy. Oh man. Natural seven plus five is a 12. So close, but not close enough. I'm going to get a little bit closer. I'm going to get a little bit closer. Close, but not close enough. Bitsy. 18. I'm 14. He's very close to hitting me. What did he actually get? He got a 12. I have things I can do to help. Sorry, I thought you were joking. He just missed. I don't know how I roll so well. I roll max damage. 19 points of lightning damage. As he spins around and misses the shot. But then he lands. Jump shot. I love this guy. I love this guy. This guy's actually cool. He has a cast. Oh no. The armor of secrets only works against melee attacks. So I just take it and you hear. Ow! Oh, Jean Claude. Please roll. Probably pretty well. Progress is gone. I believe that's it. I'm grappled. Does that affect if I attack him? Okay. You just need to make their saving throws. Sorry. It's not a check. I thought you were going to use your saving throw. Is it a check? No. Then 10. You fail. Your feathers turn chitinous. As your waddle that you have turn almost intentile. As you get your second fail. Antenna you say? Nothing. Booker, top of the round. I am getting sucked down. The saxophonist in one hand. I reach. I reach in my back pocket and I say. Suck on this you desiccated bastard. As I draw my laser pistol. Which has close clubs. Everyone has got a gun. I shoot him at point blank rage. I love the chest with my laser pistol. That made me so fucking happy. We're actually just reacting to the other check. 21 to hit. 1d6 plus 3 radiant damage. 8 points of radiant damage. As I blow a hole in this guy's chest. I point to him. I blow a hole in this guy's chest. I point to rage. I hope he don't drop this guy. And send him to actual health. He's looking very rough. Shit. Very rough. As he already has, you realize that there's actually a hole in his chest. It's getting wider and wider. You shoot through it. As it starts to let out this. This almost like it's trying to rip your soul out of it. Not just from his mouth, but also from the hole within him. As that is going to be. He's looking very rough. As a bonus action. As a bonus action. As a bonus action. I have a feat called quick plant. As a bonus action. I can make a dexterity sleight of hand check. To poem or plant an object on a creature within 5 feet of me. I'm going to attempt to plant. I'm going to attempt to plant. A receipt on him. That makes it look like he expensed something for lunch. That he wasn't. I'm going to attempt to plant a receipt on him. That he expensed something for lunch. That he wasn't supposed to. I'm going to try to slip it into his robe pocket. Make sleight of hand check. I got a natural twerp. Oh, this guy's check. His chest. I like slip some receipts in his back pocket. He has no idea. He has, you see the glitching virus from Peggy. Is still affecting him. Oh, that's right. He's chiming the chest. I'm so proud of him. He still has me by my collar and my tie. Let him go. Let him go. That's his turn. It's his turn. He doesn't even realize it. He doesn't even realize it. Oh, Christmas Eve, yeah. You failed too, Booker. I did. 17 plus 7 is a 20. As you start to see that his form is starting to almost turn to ash. It's... And you feel the cold now. As he says, Be silent, learn me. You will even with this portal, the House of John DeClaire, you will be mine. As he will make a slash on you. He must subtract a D6 from this D20 test. As my virus eats away at him. That's right. What's your AC? Booker. My AC is 15. I've implanted him with a bug called syphilis. I roll a natural 15. Okay. Minus 6. Natural 15. Plus 3. 18. Minus 6. I roll a 4. He missed by 1. I missed by 1. Oh my gosh. Syphilis, do it now! Your face. As you say, No, the barbos. No, I don't want to meet hot myths in my area. That will not fill the depths within me. I do not want them to bounce on this crazy style. Wow. As he's unable to do that. As he's then going to replace his second claw attack, however. As he says, Once again, make a constaving throw. Because you're on the throne, make it an advantage for me. Oh no! I fail. Another con. It would be a 9 minus 2, 7. You have two levels of exhaustion now. Two levels of exhaustion. Now it's minus 4. Are you an aura machine? Not high enough low. That is entropy's turn. I'm trying to hold the pistol up, but I'm tired. The saxophone drops on my hand. Grumbling is your turn. I don't want to be a clown! No! My wheels are unicycle! I will turn. I'll look up. Pugsly, Pugsly! Oh! I clasp my hands over my mouth. You're going to regret this. I never did care for clowns. But I didn't really hate Demeter. They were just sort of fine. And I'm going to roll up. You can take an opportunity to take any carries. Take 1, 2. Entropy can? He no longer has the virus. Nope. Dang it, I think that misses. 13. Swings after you. Where are you going? Pugsly, Pugsly! He's a stupid name for a clown! I'm going to shoot him. I have advantage though, right? Yes. That was ill-advised on my part. That's cocked, right? Yeah, every roll. It still probably hits. I have a 7. Hits. 15 to hit. That is going to be... 12. 8. I'm going to smite again. Come to Mama's Real, let's drown our sorrows. Come on, honey. 24 points of thunder damage. And this time I'm going to activate the push weapon mastery on my burst cannon. And she will fly back into the throne. Nice! How do you want to do this? Oh, splatter. Whoa! It's almost like just enough. Oh my god. I basically will shoot her and this, my gun, will, right now it looks like my normal, kind of detective sidearm burst cannon. And as I pull the trigger, it shifts into a wacky cartoon, like, pink revolver. And a flag will emerge from the end. I was going to do this too, so well done. Well done. And it'll say bang on it. And she's just going to start laughing at my joke, at the gag, at my magic trick. And she will laugh herself to death as part of my spiteful deed. Evening is going to stop me. Yeah! She slams back, fires the bang, hits her, and spews into her. And she slams and she says, that's not funny. That's not funny. And she slithers at her rubbery flesh, starts to shake and lose his form, and then it bursts into confetti. As she is killed, and you realize now all of your cacophonous corruption, and your corruption is gone. Nice. As you suddenly are yourself again, the clown corruption, I'm not a clown! is gone. And I did one too. I'm going to basically zoom on back, and just try to help my friends. King Court 2K, so they do a Batman Beyond. Yes, a Batman Beyond Return of the Joker. Well done. Nice. Thank you, Richie, for helping with that. Thrill is dead. Peggy, you're up. Wow, looking at this, I only have one option at my disposal. And that's to reach out and just grab this bug creature's mandibles with my hands that are burning with syphilis. It's burning syphilis, as I cast Burning Hands on this creature. Because that's really all I've got that I can do right now, I feel. So I'll do that. She looks at you, and there's a sense of recognition, but fury. As she says, Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then I'll grab her mandibles. But I don't know what Burning Hands does. So, it's burning the Dexterity. It's saving, throwing a cone. It does like 3D, sick fire damage. What's your spell safe, PC? Oh my God, natural three, there's not a chance, right? There's no way. There's no way, can I do anything? She doesn't have any reactions. Look it up for the damage. Yeah, 3D6. I can apply it. Anything she's wearing is set ablaze. I've got another D6. Holy shit. Whoa! 16 points of fire damage. That's a big hit. Oh, she was undamaged though. Got any bonus actions over there, girl? You got any bonus actions over there, girl? Well, I can malicious code her. You should probably, yeah, do that. So, I'm gonna also malicious code her. Yeah, you see as this code, this hot code starts to consume her, and you realize she's considerably beefier than the others. Than the others. She seems to be the strongest and most savage of a fighter. As the bug now gets bugged. As this virus consumes her. What does it do? It's 16 points of damage. Yep, she takes it. And then she'll have to subtract 1D6 from her next C20 text. Roger that. Okay. With that, it is instincts turn. As she, once again, fear her. I would say she's very distracted, because all she can hear in her head is, ah, ah, ah, just like crazy moaning. However, I realized, she has a feature called Instinctual Avoidance. Okay. She failed a dexterity, strength, or constitution saving throw. Correct. I choose to succeed instead. Oh! So she takes half damage. But! And it's an instinctual thing. I can still malicious code her, because she did take damage. She took damage, yeah. But, I think that's totally fair. Very cool. Make a Christmas saving throw. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. But she's still hearing the creepy moaning, sadly. And I'm gonna see if she retards her ass in spew. With the... 17 for my Christmas saving throw. You succeed. Thank you. Nice. She does not recharge her ass in spew. So, she is going to... You see now, as her humanoid looking form, now completely drops, and she almost splits out into this horrible, spindly, nightmarish bug creature, but with a massive devouring maw, as she's going to try to rip you apart with two-size claw tacks. But minus d6. On the first one, yeah. Just on the first one. She gets a pop-up immediately that says, Drive Unclean, click here to... Click here to search Drive. With a minus five. Oh, ho, ho. She gets a six. First one misses. That misses. Okay, next one, bringing back the acid-dripping claws. That is gonna be a 16 to hit. That definitely hits. Okay, she rends you... Does acid-dripping just slouching that matter to you? As a reaction, I will cast Silvery Barbz. Okay. Disadvantage? Yeah, just use the lower... Use the new roll, I believe. Let me just check here. That's an eight. Yes. Nice. She looks over at you, and her eyes are filled with haze. She's... With that, that is instinct's turn. Bitsy, you're up. Bitsy, low bitsy. She looks over at Booker, and she sees him with a pair of big naturals, and it just distracts her for a second. Oh, yeah. Booker's big naturals. I didn't say they were the ones on your chest. Whoa! Geez, no wondering who's the grudge. He's more of a chinuki in this campaign. Oh my God! I can't even walk, so let me give you a little jab. Oh, it's all the time. I hate this. I hate this. I hate this. Out of the scagings, man. Good lord. I'm not interested. So, yeah, I don't really... We are so beyond late night of interest. This is not okay. No, actually, a nightmare. None of this is okay. What a wonderful session this is going on. Extreme, folks. I am surveying the battlefield, and I am watching as everyone... I've been severely weakened, but I am still trying my best to contribute as I can, and Bitsy, low Bitsy, will turn to progress. And progress has been screaming these strange proclamations and... Boom! Boom! Jump shot! I will get a little bit out of the way here, and I will... I'll whisper into the... Even though there's all this cacophony happening in all directions, you can even probably still hear the moans and screams through the door of the people who are dying. I will turn to this creature, and I will say, you... You think that you have all... It all understood that you... That you can build things, that you can do anything that's worth any... Anyone's time? You can't. And I'll use the voice as I cast Mind Spike. Fucking go. I need to make a wisdom saving throw, DC 15. There it is. That's the voice. Hell yeah. On which one? On progress. Oh. Number one. No. Wisdom? Yep. Plus zero. Fourteen. That's not enough. Fails. Thirteen points of psychic damage slams into this creature as the voice shatters its center of identity. And I will continue to push into it. I move Jason to my very good ally, my very good friend Peggy. And I'm weakened, but still here. Supporting. You're tilted! As he's in reaction, adaptive resistance. The trigger is I take any damage. He becomes resistant to the trigger damage type for one minute. I'm now resistant for one minute against psychic damage. And so that was 13 points of damage. Six points. That's pretty cool. GG, easy! I'll make my charisma safe. I fail. Well, how, what is it at? You can add a d4. I can add a d4? GG's 15. Stay fit. 10 plus seven is 17 minus four is 14. I still fail. Oh! Bitsy, you are now realizing you're starting to look a lot like progress. Your musculature is almost being replaced by metal tubing. As the softness, at least the softness that you're used to of your fur is now sheening almost chrome like metal. Cosmetics can't clutch. Cosmetics can't clutch! Definitely still has that. Bitsy's out to fairy god. She once was the commander of the Illuminati and she's now going to die a lowly delivery person. That was Bitsy. John-Clawd, you're up. I'm going to use my unstable assault feature just to make sure I'm going to get advantage on my attack. Right to that. Just to make sure that I take this guy down. That was good because that was a two. And that was a 17. There we go. There we go. So with another 24 to hit. That will hit. Even better. 16 points of radiant damage to the- oh and I'm in the vark. How do we do this? I say, I say, from childhood they trained us in the ways of slaying vahgs. I've studied the ancient texts and I know that once you're killed normally you return to the night but here in cacophony you will destroy into oblivion. And I'll whip the around in the end. The plating at the end will ignite into this radiant flame as it swirls through the air and it spins around. I'll say it crescents down from above so as not to hit my comrades as it almost like an arching moonbeam as this blade of silver light comes down and cuts cleanly through it, burning him in the silver flame. The cogs grow and I am not in bed sleeping in the grave that- As he screams and splits and then as he turns to ash almost all of him is gone but there's part- half of his head is left as it slowly turns to ash and he says, finally oblivion. Damn. As it drifts away, as entropy is slain, Booker, the salowness that you feel and the black pits in your eyes are gone as your entropic caution has lifted. Do I snow no more exhaustion? Exhaustion's gone too? Or is that still there? Got it. Cool. I'll say, I'll say there's no resting oblivion you worthless pile of ash. He's so cool. And I raised for it. Seeing the Varg is neutralized, I spin around and charge towards my other allies, lumbering towards instinct, facing off Mano-a-Mano. Roger that. I got two hard hitters in my back but basically Mano-a-Mano. Except for my whole squads there. Okay. Now it's progress's turn. He levels his Platinum Rifle at you. Watch out! And uh- 1v9! And uh, fire is a blast. I love this guy. Put it down mid. I'll say, I'll say, I think he's gonna clutch. FFF15! 10! It's a 10. It arcs over you. Hacks! And uh, he fires again. Mate, we need to give you that. I got a megaphone on a rooftop for like 16 hours. 24 to hit. Report that guy for cheating. 24. Did that hit 24? I think it does. Terrorism. Report that guy for terrorism. 13 points of lightning damage. To you. 13 points. 13. 13. Lightning damage. Yes. That's what you get for de-dossing me. One down! One down! Oh my god. The, it crashes into you. As um, you uh, get hit by this blast of lightning. Um, Bitsy, I need you to make a charisma saving throw disadvantage for me. One was a net from 20. Chrisma? 8. 8. You see as Bitsy as you begin to fall, but then suddenly you stand up mechanically. Your eyes closed, they open, they are pure bright red. Bitsy now is entirely made of metal as your hands crackle with lightning. Um, you are now healed to full as your construction changes you. You are now corrupted fully by a prog, the progress tone of cacophony. You are now, you want to destroy your friends and spread the cacophony. Um, all of your damage is now lightning damage. Yep. And your damage is doubled. Jumblediff. Oh, doubled? Double. Oh god, I thought Bitsy was dead, but she's fine. 3v4! Um, that is uh, progress's turn. Fuck, I was really hoping to heal her before, mom, before that didn't happen though. What was like, changed the initiative? I just on Bitsy's try. Oh, and your creature type is fiend, so I'm evil now. Your creature type is fiend. But we don't know that. Yeah, we don't know that. We don't know that. Your creature type is fiend, but if that matters. Um, I'll write it down. Spoker, you're up. So is it obvious that she's made of metal? Absolutely. Okay, so I know that's not normal. Uh, how does the rest of the team look? Um, fine. Uh, 2 thirds damage, but I have the 10 page piece still. Haven't been hit. I don't know if I get that ancient hero, the Alzersawth, the Gwyrwyr, but that's fine. The Vard drops me. I hit the ground. Oh, yeah. He turns to Ash as entropy fades away and you almost hear his finally oblivion in your ear echoing long after he's gone and the chill that you feel you may never forget. I, uh, Jesus, I, I, I, I just, my knees are shaking. My legs are shaking. I pick up my crutch and I move it over to my left, left side. I lean on it heavily and I, I level the leg laser pistol from across the, the map. I say, John Claude duck. Uh, I'm going to give you inspiration as my bonus action. And then I'm going to take a shot at, uh, the, uh, entropy or the, uh, instinct creature. Oh no. In a 12 to hit. On instinct? Yeah. Goes wide. Yeah. Goes wide. It, it, it hits her, but the therapist just takes it very easily. I forgot I'm minus four. It's a D six for the inspiration. Oh cool. It's just at his anything. Yeah. Oh yeah. Uh, but then what I'm also going to do just to prep for my next turn is part of my smooth jazz feature, the one that lets me give everybody temporary hit points. It says that once I use this benefit, I can't use it again until I finish a long rest, but I can expend an additional use of my iconic inspiration, no actual required to restore my use of it. So I'm going to also do that now. To make it so that I can reuse my smooth jazz on the next time I use it. And, uh, as I watch the, the laser blast, uh, sail over this thing's shoulder, I'm just going to say, damn, and I'm running out of gas here. That's my whole turn. You feel the cold? Uh, with that, it is Gremlin's turn. Did you do the thing again to give it 10 PHP? No, I just reset it. Oh, you just get it back. Cause I have to, I have to use a spell, adoration or enchantment. You're clear. You want to use any movement and do you need to make a Christmas saving throw? I do probably need to make a Christmas saving throw. Oh, no. Okay. I'm good. I do not want to use any movement. Only the three of you now. Fucking closer than any of this shit. Understood. Understood. Pitchy, peachy, got a head shot, but it looks like Sean Clark got it up. I'm pushing, I'm pushing, I'm pushing. He's peeking, he's peeking. Six. Peek me again, coward. Peek me again. I can go that far cause I have to. I can go that far. I can go that far. I can go that far. I can go that far. I can go that far. I can go that far. He probably could have come around this side if you wanted to get right on there. I want to shoot him. Oh. Yeah, yeah, he's up for progress. He's also rapidly healing. He's the one, he's rapidly healing. He's the one dabbing on us. Progress is clearly the threat now. The terrorist saw and beat anyone by a kid. And I try to take cover and I'm going to peek on this guy. SMG rush, SMG rush. I'm going to, cause my burst cannon has braced, but the range is only 20 feet, so I barely got close enough to take a shot, not at disadvantage. This is the greatest bad guy that's ever happened. This is like, I'm never going to be able to look at progress demons the same way. No, not at all. It's just, I'm tainted forever. That's definitely colored my ability role playing. Hold on, anything I can do about that? I rolled a two. It's Hanyu. It's Hanyu. Um, that, I presume that misses. That's a nine to hit. He has his AC of 17. Oh shit. Oh shit. He's, he's lag hacking, he's lag hacking. Where's his hitbox? Oh, that's my turn. 64 tick, bitch. Uh, well actually, but, oh my god, this is so. That's my turn. Peggy, you're up. That's my turn. I am face to face with this, with this creature and I turn seeing grumly miss and I'm just going to, I'm going to raise my arms and I'm going to channel all of my, um, all of my syphilis into, into progress. Yeah. I'm using my last. No progress, not instincts. No. Okay. Because it's ranged. I'm going to move it into progress. Um, because it's my last level two spell slot and all three rays. I'm going to try and throw into this. You'll still lose the band because you're melee. You can take a step away though. For this guy. So because you, you're in your range, we've been playing this wrong for like, like, 10 years. Many years. But basically because this guy's in your business, any range attack. Oh, I'll step away and let that one take an opportunity attack. She's going to take it with me, Peggy, with me. That is going to hit. Unless. That's fine. It's going to be a 19. That hits. Yeah. Uh, and then we're going to do D six slashing an acid. Do anything about that is 11. Can I do, oh, can I do anything? 13 points of slashing damage and acid damage. Okay. 13 total. Yep. He's pretty nice. I'm not, but I'm still alive. Um, Oh, fuck. Ow, ow, ow. That was really, fuck you actually. That sucked. She's pushing. She's pushing. Why do my teammates always suck? I have a deal of health. I, I, I've gotten you. I'm on your flank, Grumly. Yeah. I'm getting support. National 20. Oh, I told you you were going to get one. And then the other two miss. They, they definitely miss. 17. So that's a four and a six. So, but the natural 20 hits. That'll crit. So that covers it. Um, so it's going to be, no, it's going to be seven points of damage. Um, and then more than that, isn't each bolt 2d6 or no? Oh, is it? It might be. Yeah. Yes, it is. So then it's so seven. Oh, 14, 14, 14, 14 fire damage as he begins to hear, um, the sounds of people moaning. Um, oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. That's what he starts hearing in his ears. Oh, and, um, and I gave you one of those. I'm not kidding. They're cheating. No, I, I definitely am. Um, as I malicious code you for the next minute. Um, that's minus a d6. Yeah. Correct. Uh, once again, the pop ups and the virus are too affected. Actually looks the red on the red looks actually pretty fucking cool. Um, but his construction is still healing them. Sick skin. Um, It's from a loot box. Instincts turn. Uh, Peggy, you do need to roll. I do. I do. I do. Not this one. This one. You would get a plus of d4 though, if it's not great. Fantastic. I hate you, pay to win luck sacks. 17. That's pretty high. 17. You succeed. Um, as. I used your plus four. Oh, yeah. Instincts sees you, Jean Claude. And once again, you also feel that you feel the anger as you, you realize that you have the antennae as the raffle insectoid creature that this just goes all out. She's going to make. Let's see what she does. I can't read. Regen this. Oh, good. I was just going to say she's an advantage against me for normal attacks. If you want to do that. I don't know if you're doing a poison thing though. No, I don't have the acid. I don't have it. I don't have it. I never got it back to the first one has to miss highest is a eight. A we miss that should hit with a 21. 21. So you are resistant to slashing though. I am resistant to slashing separately. That's 11 points of slashing. So have that. And then. 55 points in the full points of acid damage. Okay. So nine points total. That's her turn. And she's going to stay there. That's her turn. If it's a year up. How do I feel? You feel like you need to advance the march of progress. I am. And so I will march forward and I will take my place in front of progress is thrown. We don't know she's evil yet. So we wouldn't like take an opportunity. We just know she looks weird. I'll race. The march continues. I'll race forward and jump to the throne. The march continues. The March towards progress. The March towards resurrecting the middle class. Grumbling. Don't you want to bring back the middle class. Don't you remember how sweet it was how everything was so fine and so great. And people cared about the rainforest. People cared about the rainforest. Everybody. We don't care about the rainforest. We're so perfect and so whole. Just to be clear. A single person could bring in one income and enjoy a vacation and still play for their child's college. And support a family of four. It was an amazing time. But you heard him. He doesn't care about the rainforest at all. Oh you're not caring about the rainforest. The rainforest will fuel the march in progress. I need to make a wish. Ah. Bitchy he's right there knife him knife him knife him. A family of four can enjoy two vehicles including an SUV. Oh man I fail. I fail. It's six. I cast minion binding. On your turn you must use your action before moving on each of your turns to make a melee attack against a creature other than itself that I mentally choose. So it'll obviously be Peggy. This one quick. As it goes. And that'll be my entire turn. It's just turning my cryptic. Now progress. This nature towards my allies as I am completely consumed by the nature of this big see flavor of good. Go on Europe. So now we know she's the evil. Yes. Because. The fact that I'm obviously using the powers you've seen me use against our enemies on Grumly would be would be very evident. No. No. No. Bitchy now why. Why would you do this. Were you going to say something. Go ahead. Okay. I'm sorry. I need to make my charisma saving throw. No you don't. You've already failed. You're already failed. Yeah. Okay. Well I fail again. I'm going to once more unstable assaults on instinct. That's pretty good already. That's plenty we'll hit. And. Oh once again pretty solid. That's 14 points of radiant damage. Okay. Facing face to face with this this discordant of or the tone of instinct. I'll slash forward with my powered whip and just start tearing into it. And then I'll just move. Here. Oh my gosh is griefing. Oh sorry. I actually reported. If I'm something that says I can push up to 20 feet. Yeah. Choose less. Yeah. Okay. So actually what I meant to do is this. I will use my digital archetype strong. And I am going to choose to push to push her 15 feet. Okay. And I want to push her. Right there. Okay. And you blast her back. I'm going to move there. That is correct. Oh. That is so correct. It is crazy. Bring the thunder baby. Oh. Hey I don't know you're getting really good at this game. I'll say be ready to be banished into oblivion creatures of the night. As a rage we get to overtake. That's it. That's it. That's it. That's it. That's it. That's it. That's it. That's it. I will be free. You will be free. I will claim revenge against father. The march will continue. And he levels his rifles and take a shot at Peggy and then a shot at Grumbling. It will be minus 1d6. Actually no. He's smart enough to know that Grumbling is dominated. He's in the one with John Claude. Minus 1d6. Minus 1d6. I'm wearing the back corner like a pop. Thank God he didn't take a shot at me. I'm like diminished. I got a 16 minus 4 as a 12. With that in your bathroom I smell like piss. That's pretty good. That's pretty good. Thank you. Thank you. I'm not going to make that joke. That's pretty funny. I'm advantage though on you. Your advantage on me. 23. Holy moly. 23. That's pretty good. Crack them. And with that I'm going to deal a bit of lightning damage to you. Which you resisted. God damn it. I was like fuck. Are you kidding me? The ancient scholars of the house of Shaunty Claude whispered in my ear. As I was about to say. Oh that's still pretty big. He was very shot too. 10 points of lightning damage so halved. So 5 points to you. Wow. Does Clarence use turn? That's Prokofis' turn. Booker you're up. I am going to start by... Oh but he does heal tap. Reaching into my pocket and producing a golden musical note as I activate my digital archetype Swift to be able to bonus action dash. And when I do until the start of my next turn my movement doesn't provoke opportunity attacks and my speed is doubled. And... How's everybody looking? Pretty rough. Pretty rough. I look fantastic. I'm not quite blooded yet. Jesus. My robed or billowade. I am looking really good. I'm going to walk out. Well either way I'm going to run up to Peggy. And I'm going to start by level 2 casting. Casting a second level. Cure Wins. Is that 48? Yes. Nice. 9. 16. Nice. 25 points of healing to Peggy. How much? 25 points. Holy shit you heal me to full. And then I will also cash in running out of inspiration, iconic inspirations here. Cash in on my smooth jazz yet again to give up to 5 targets that I choose within 60 feet. Temporary hit points equal to 2d6. So I'm choosing everybody even bitsy. Whoa. Even bit? Yeah. Do we have to kill bitsy? Why? I just don't think we're going to have to. I think that once we'll... I think once we'll... 2. Son of a bitch. 6. I'm even at 8. 8 temporary hit points. 7 of 1. Hey you're at least my 5. Hell yeah. If it was a 1 you wouldn't have kept this. You'd get 8. Yeah I wouldn't have. I'm absolutely, I would have cheated. That's what I am. It doesn't count. He's cheating. He's cheating. Cheating is based. Grinding is great. Okay. Insticts. Don't you kill steel. Insticts. Don't take my kill. The ratting. The ratting. Could you read your feature please? That's going to be a filter. The feature. A shadow we film appears over the target's eyes or around its head in the case of eyeless creatures and it must use its action before moving on each of its turns to make a melee attack against a creature other than itself that I mentally choose. The target can act normally on its turn if you choose no creature or if no creature is within its reach. The target repeats the save at the end of each of its turns. Got it. It's not a charm condition. I also, to be clear how I was able to play my music was I was able to, I like pistol away and the saxophone is falling around. I can't pick it up. I'm barely, I reach and I pull out a kazoo and I start playing a really off key funky town and that's the smooth jazz that gets played. Don't you take me too. Smooth jazz. It is the charm condition. They make a wisdom saving throw or have the charm condition. The charm and frightened conditions end on each target and each target is a number of temporary hit points equal to two rolls of your iconic inspiration. That is one funky town. Yeah! Yeah! Fitsie make a, make a cruise of saving throw a disadvantage just in case. Oh wow. 17. Is that minus your four? Yeah. Oh wow. I will say as Booker unleashes the smooth jazz you feel as if you have a moment of clarity as the metal starts to fade away from your face. And I will say that you will have an opportunity on your turn to move freely. That's my whole turn. Crumbly's up. This is not to make the middle class at all. She's team killing. She's oh my god she's making me team kill. She's making me team kill. Now Booker thank you. Fitsie you don't have to do this step aside. I don't want to do this. Check you in there. No she has joined the march. No fuck yourself. She's joined our team. Your team sucks. Um. Alright I'm pushing progress I'm pushing progress. I'm running a dead game. You're flanking. You're flanking. Um. Wow there are any wards over there. And I'm going to basically flank this guy. And I'm going to try to I'm going to stay out of the line. You get the sense Grumbly. Yeah. Uh given what you've seen that although he's healing he doesn't have a possibly a large health pool. I am going to then basically roll and get on the take a shot at this guy and hopefully oh I crush it 20 something to him. And I'm going to smite again because these guys are feigned. Because you have uh you are the you're able to do that at range because you are the um I'm the uh cyber guard. Cyber guard. Mmm. So that will deal. We'll see how much damage this does here. Oh baby. Damn. He's a fiend. Damn. 33 points of thunder and radium damage. Thunder. Jesus. Thunder. Send him back to hell. How do you want to do this? Oh my god. All that you described in a funny FPS way. I like literally I'm just I'm just flanking. I'm I'm pushing I'm taking instinct and I'm pushing mid. They're flanking. They're flanking. Oh. Oh. I'm down. I'm down. As you as you blast in to him and you see that the healing properties of this is his flesh tries to reconstitute the metal as he stumbles back and he begins to unmake. And you hear that you see rather the glow in his red eyes start to dull and dull and dull and you hear a dull no I I was meant to be perfect. As he shuts down. And as he collapses to the ground. I'll tear four motherfuckers. And progress taken off and all you hear is for men's D to dance. Peggy you're up. Oh god. Well that's I'm so glad that's done so we've done. Oh god the fucking butt still up. Okay. Oh god oh god. And I'm just going to turn towards it and I'm going to I'm going to use my I'm going to use disruption and I'm going to use this before and I don't want to get close to this thing anymore. And so I am going to target it and I am you're going to see Peggy's eyes kind of go red for a second as the malicious code kind of runs across her irises as I pick my hands up and it's almost as like I'm trying to deconstruct their code from a distance and you watch as bits of this bug move away and it looks like I am rewiring them from the inside. Hopefully and so I'm going to attack them in this way. Oh yeah it definitely hits. So that's a 24 to hit. They'll hit. And so they're going to take 1d8 force damage and their AC is lowered by one for until the next time they're hit. I love that spell. Two points of force damage. Okay. And yeah their AC is minus one on the next attack we'll meet against them. Okay. You hear this insectoid creature backs up as it is now her turn. My syphilis are going to remove its nose completely. Okay. Got it. No. I'm going to roll the human recharge. I do. Can I get you all on a 30 foot cone? Yes. Bitsy. Where your face has been free with the death of progress the metal leaves you and your body is yours once more. Opportunity attack you may if you'd like to. Oh I would like to. I would like to. Yeah. Can you position without actually an opportunity attack if. Yeah. She could get behind. She will optimize trying to get everybody if she can if she can take an opportunity attack. She could probably get the three of us without taking an opportunity attack. Can she get everyone if she takes an opportunity attack. She can't get nothing. I don't think so. We're going to spread out. She could go here and then go. With a 30 foot cone. Because it's one and a half. It's only four diagonally. Yeah. So you can do that. What's that? Right. Like if she gets here. It's not 30 feet. It doesn't. No. It's yeah. It doesn't. It's you can't. So basically do you want it the three of us. But you want it to work. My brain stopped working. She's going to spin around to get John Claude and Peggy. If she can hit John Claude and Peggy and Booker. Is that 30 feet. One and a half. Yeah. I think. Maybe yeah we can say. From there. Yeah. Yeah. Give it to him. He leans back at her massive mall opens almost as large as you are. John Claude. As you just see all of these countless teeth within and a burst of acid. Everyone needs to make a 30 saving throw. Oh. Or the three of you do. He has 17. I had a 20. I'm going to use my inspiration. I still have right. Yeah. One round. You can add it to a roll. 15. The DC was 13. Nice. If you succeed you take half of 14. Perfect. Seven. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Nice. Did I make my charisma saving throw? Oh. You did not. I need that for you. You didn't need to make one. Yeah. Because mine's insane. Both of you need to make it now. Well I haven't gone yet. No. Do I. I don't still have your benefit. No. You have a star then. 13. 13. I'm going to use the digital bugs that you have. It's starting to turn very physical. As you're starting to feel bug like. As you're your frog like mouth is starting to expand into this large toothy maw and of insectoid chitin. This maw is going to make me a lot of money. Okay. With that it's a bit discerning. I am feeling the metal of progress shake off my body and I have deeply hurt. I have betrayed my friends my allies the people that even in this moment of the long life that bit C low bit C has experienced that she turns to to try and make our way in this world and there without any other target to attack. She will turn towards this creature of thrill and pull her energy down and in and release it in a massive blast endeavoring to crush this creature. I'm going to cast elders blast. Nope. Nope. Not even close. Okay. It goes wide. I will move next to Peggy and I will hobble over crushed from the experience that I've had over the last few hours. John Claude you're up. I'm going to roll again with an unstable assault. That's 15. 15 hits. Oh 15 hits. 14 hours wait. 14 hours wait. Is there a safe. Oh my gosh. All right. 13 right now. Yeah. 13. Yeah. Oh still pretty good. At range damage. Oh. Surge damage. Okay. That so that's 15 then 15 points of radiant damage as I swore the whip around me as it I start landing. She is looking rough. Guys you're smashing into her. Kite this forms acid blood is starting to spray everywhere. Make it cause I'm saving through forming. Oh pretty good. Pretty good pretty good. 18. You resisted Booker you're up. Bring it home. I'll let me the light laser pistol again. I try to. Oh wait a minute. Another creature. Yeah that makes sense. I cast. Light laser pistol and I try to shoot this thing in the face over Jean-Claude. Her AC is now 13 still. Oh it's against one attack. Oh sorry that's. Just kidding. So what's your AC? Like 7. 14. 14. 14. I hit. I got a 22 to hit. Let's go bro. 1d6 plus 3 radiant damage is max damage from 9 points of radiant damage. That is exactly enough. Oh my god. Exactly enough. How do you want to do this Booker? Shepherds we shaffee for thee my lord for thee I put a humble jazz musician. And I just put a laser bolt straight between its eyes. Yeah. And I put this thing down. And that's all I got. I got I'm like I'm I'm a husk. Yeah. Just an absolute husk of a person. You see the frothing rage in sync. And she's. And then she's getting ready to try to devour you like a. A bucket of drums and wings. And. You're like holding them out. Yeah you're holding it out. And then suddenly you burst and as you hear it. And almost like when a spider is killed and all starts to like collide back together. She then kind of reforms back into the humanoid shape from her strange insectoid shape as. There's kind of what rasping wheezing and it's almost like the bore god in Prince Mononoke. And it's kind of strange slow. As in it slows. As you have your corruption for both of you has left you. The burning sensation is gone. Holy fuck. Is Betsy still a bot. We didn't give you make our delivery. Is everyone OK. Yeah. Yeah. No I'm feeling. They just spittle over myself but outside of that I'm feeling. Someone looks for a thumb and we can scan it and fucking get out of here. They already filled out the form and we got their receipt. That's true. Then we can go. We just got to open the door somehow. We just got to get out of here. We just leave hell. Where's the door. Which way do we come in. Escar there is no door. We just sort of. We've really got to start leaving our little portals on the ship. I'm going to be honest with you guys. I'm not feeling 100 percent. Yeah. Yeah. I would imagine not. No. I start to look for an exit. I'm like hobbling around. I'm looking you know. We're on this. Who knows where we are. But I try to look for an exit of where we came in. I'm confused. Everyone's the same. I don't know which direction we came in from. In a flash of brilliant said golden and blue. Figure teleports into the center of this chamber. And a teleporting homunculus stands before you. Looking like a golden god. His long flowing hair. As he says at last I am free of sin and mortal folly. I thank you. My foolish brother would always bring about his own undoing as he raises his hand up and raises another hand below as you see flash above you and a flash below you as a glowing massive eye opens on the stone beneath you on the stone above you as as you are looking down and he's that extends his hands and two giant beans go down the sides of these walls is in the ruins of Xerxes I open the doors to truth as you see both of them open as my husband is so cool as you see the glittering realms of the stars as great towers. Made of the pillars of creation themselves and glittering constellations these great structures the dwellings of the gods themselves the realms of the gods are open as he looks at you and he says now that the doors of truth have opened we will answer what it means to be bit like I will become the perfect being and consume the gods and you start to see now as these doors are open that his whole form starts to change as he becomes star stuff and glittering stars himself looking even more like a god like figure as he then shifts and in a burst you see two bits of constellations go through these doors of truth that goes to either side and then up as he almost splits into a four-pointed star that rockets into different directions. Oh god he's getting hotter. In glittering star like forms as the homunculus ascends on his journey to become the perfect being and that is where we'll end the session. If you give me a million guests I never would have thought that we'd be here. Rich can you give me a bag of moose? In hell. In hell.