The Human Need to Matter & The Enduring Appeal of Cats

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I think that cats fall into this category of what we think of as charismatic species, and this is a term that comes out of wildlife biology for animals and in some cases plants that seem to really attract human attention. All this today on something you should know. A cross industry's worldwide, AWS AI is how innovation happens every day. Something you should know, fascinating intel, the world's top experts, and practical advice you can use in your life today. Something you should know with Mike Karothers. So I'm sure you've heard the advice to be thankful for what you have. Have gratitude. What is that supposed to do for you exactly? Well, I'm about to tell you, as we begin this episode of something you should know. Studies have consistently shown that intentional gratitude practices, like keeping a gratitude journal or writing gratitude letters or just reflecting on what you're thankful for, are linked with improved well-being, reduced stress, and stronger emotional health. Researchers have even started looking at what's happening in the brain when people practice gratitude. Brain scanning studies show that gratitude exercises activate regions in the brain involved in reward, emotional regulation, and social connection. And the neural sensitivity related to gratitude can persist weeks or even months after a short gratitude intervention. In other words, gratitude doesn't just feel good in the moment. It appears to train your brain to notice positive experiences more readily, and respond with less stress and more positive emotion down the road. Thinking of your brain as having a kind of gratitude muscle that you can exercise through simple activities like journaling or letter writing isn't just metaphorical. There's growing evidence that it reflects real changes in your brain. And that is something you should know. There's a basic human need we almost never talk about, but it quietly drives a lot of what we do. It is the need to matter, to feel seen, to know what you do and who you are actually counts. Most of us will go to surprising lengths to feel that sense of significance. We chase it at work, at home, online, in relationships. And when we don't get it, when we feel invisible or disposable, it doesn't just feel bad, it can lead to real problems from burnout and anxiety, to risky behavior and bad decisions. So why is the need to matter so powerful? What happens when it's missing? And how do you build a sense of mattering that is not dependent on constant approval or achievement? That's what we're going to explore with Jennifer Brahini-Wallis. She's an award-winning journalist and author of the book, Mattering, the secret to a life of deep connection and purpose. Hi, Jennifer. Welcome. Glad to have you on something you should know. Oh, thanks so much for having me. So I get the concept. I know what it means to want to matter, but you've studied this pretty deeply. So what does mattering mean to you? Yeah, I thought I knew what it meant to matter. I had this, you know, it's a word we hear kicked around. But what I found fascinating is that not only do we all have it, not only is it a universal human need, but that it is the driver of human behavior for better or for worse. So what I mean by that is, you know, after the need for food and shelter, it is the need to matter, the drive to matter, that shapes our behavior. When we feel like we matter to each other, to our communities, to our workplaces, we show up to the world in positive ways. We want to contribute, we want to engage and connect, but when we are chronically made to feel like we don't matter, which is what we are seeing on a global level today, we often withdraw, we become anxious, depressed, turn to substances to try to alleviate that ache, that pain, or we can lash out an anger, think of road rage, think of online attacks and political extremes, people will go to desperate measures to prove they matter even in a negative way. And what is the difference? Because I imagine there is a big difference between mattering and feeling like you matter, that I imagine a lot of people matter, but they don't feel like they do, they don't have any validation of that, but they actually objectively really do matter. Yes, so mattering is a felt experience. So you could matter and not feel like you matter. And so as you point out, it is critical that we really create this new social norm, where we connect people to the impact that they have. So the reason people often feel like they don't matter is because no one tells them that they do. No one sort of circles back, they offer advice to someone, but they don't know if that advice was taken. They believe, they might even be going through the world with a deep sense of purpose. But if their efforts are never acknowledged, that sense of purpose can fade and actually lead to burnout. So it is important to matter, but perhaps it's most important to feel like you matter. And I will say we are not necessarily dependent on others to connect to our impact. Yes, as social creatures, we are, we crave that social proof that we matter, that who we are and what we do make a difference. But there are everyday ways that we can connect to our impact that could help us feel like we matter if we are questioning it. So can you give me an example of that of how do you make yourself feel like you matter when you don't feel like you matter? I could tell you something that I've started to do in my own life. I hate to journal. I'll admit it as a writer. I do not feel like journaling after a day of writing. And so I have this 30-second exercise. Before I go to bed, I have a small notebook next to my bed in my top drawer. And I write in it, I answer two questions. When did I feel value today? And when did I add value today, even in a small way? Those days when I am working 12 hours in writing and sort of sequestered alone in my office, I don't always necessarily feel like a madding value. So those days it might be that I was in the parking lot of the supermarket. And it was my turn to get this great spot, but I waived somebody else to let them get it. So even in that teeny tiny way, I mattered. I made somebody's day a little easier. I made them smile. So it just takes pausing and creating a habit of seeing big and small ways that we make an impact on the world around us. So I would imagine somebody's done a survey. If you were to ask people, do you feel like you matter? Is it the majority of people do, the majority of people don't? I mean, where does that play out? I think it depends on life stages. So our sense of mattering matters throughout the lifespan. It starts from the earliest of days. And it matters right up until we pass. But there are certain times of life when our sense of mattering can take a hit. So the adolescent years, when we are building a sense of self and we are searching the world for messages that we matter or we don't matter. When we go through life transitions, getting a new job, relocating, or even, especially perhaps negative life transitions grief, getting fired, empty nesting, these are times when our sense of mattering can really take a hit. When the roles that used to provide a sense of value and meaning, where it was clear, where we were adding value, when those roles change, we can really be left wondering, do we matter now? Can you talk about and explain what you call the ingredients of mattering? Yeah, so I have put them together into a kind of framework that I call the said framework, so it's easy to remember. So S stands for significance, a feeling of importance. And what I mean by that is not necessarily the importance you feel at a milestone birthday when people are toasting you or when you receive an award at work. What struck me the most in interviewing hundreds of people about mattering was that they felt significant in the small moments of life when someone remembered something about them, when when their preferences were remembered. So importance and significance, it's really about mattering in the details, mattering in the mundane things of life, feeling like you are remembered. Appreciation is the next ingredient that is feeling appreciated for who you are inside, not just what you do. So for example, if you have a friend who buys you a sweater, you can say to them, thank you for this beautiful sweater or you can feed their sense of mattering by appreciating them for who they are. Thank you for always being the most generous and thoughtful friend. I am so lucky to have someone like you in my life. The next ingredient is invested in. It's the idea that there are people in our lives who are invested in our goals and who are there to support us through setbacks. And the last ingredient is feeling dependent on or relied on other people in your life who depend on you. We live in such a hyper individualistic culture that we often don't signal to people how much we rely on them or depend on them. And so what I would say to anybody listening is to let the people in your life know that you rely on them. And you can do it in simple ways. You could send a simple text to someone saying, if it weren't for you, dot, dot, dot, you know, if it weren't for you, I wouldn't have had the courage to go for that job interview. Thank you for believing in me before I could even believe in myself. So the set framework really narrow in on the main ingredients to mattering. We're talking about the need to matter in the world. And my guest is Jennifer Braini Wallace, author of the book, mattering, the secret to a life of deep connection and purpose. The Regency era, you might know it as the time when Bridgeton takes place, whereas the time when Jane Austen wrote her books. The Regency era was also an explosive time of social change, sex scandals, and maybe the worst king in British history. Vulgar history's new season is all about the Regency era, the balls, the gowns, and all the scandal. Listen to vulgar history, Regency era, wherever you get podcasts. 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That's exactly right. The fastest way to feel like you matter again is to remind someone else why they do. I'd also, you know, I think about this litmus test when I'm feeling like I don't matter or my sense of of mattering is taking a hit. I ask myself this one question. I say, am I letting people in to see me and know me for who I am deep inside? Am I leaning on my people? Am I opening up or do I feel like I need to go through whatever struggle or whatever I'm going through in the busyness of life on my own? People often don't want to invite people into their lives when they're going through something hard, but there's research that I love called the beautiful mess effect, which is the idea that we often overestimate how much people will appreciate us opening up to them. That opening up revealing a bit of our struggle to others actually makes us look more authentic and it actually brings people closer to us. So if you're feeling like you don't matter, ask yourself, do you have one or two or three people in your life who know you for who you are deep inside? And if you don't, think about ways that you can start to invite those people into your life. I don't think anybody gets through life without feeling at some point like they don't matter or that they matter less than they used to. I mean, it does seem to come and go depending on your life situation. That's exactly right. I mean, mattering is not some sort of trophy that we win and we put up on ourselves. It is fluid and there are moments in life when we feel almost like we matter too much. I mean, that's the other end of the spectrum. When you are a busy parent or a caretaker, you can feel like you matter way too much, but that too is not a true sense of mattering. That is almost a false sense of mattering. True mattering is about feeling valued and adding value to others, but also feeling valued and adding value to ourselves. So in those moments, when either I feel like I matter too much or maybe I'm not feeling like I matter at all, one thing you can start to do to turn that around is to really focus on mattering to yourself in small ways. So I'll talk about it from the perspective of a busy parent. I am the parent of three children and I often felt like it was my job to meet everybody else's needs and if there was time left at the end of the day, maybe I could meet a need of my own, but often weeks went by when none of my needs were met. But what I found was that that burned me out. I wasn't thriving when I was allowing that to happen. And so advice that I would give anybody who is in that sort of struggle of mattering too much is to think about every day one small need for yourself that you could fill so that you can show up as your best self for the people who rely on you. And it might be something small. It might be, you know, I want to sit for a half hour and read my book uninterrupted sipping my coffee or for another woman that I interviewed who had two small children. For one hour a day, she would take a walk, which was a kind of meditative walk. It wasn't for exercise. It was simply to come back to herself and to show herself that she was a priority too. So if you are struggling with feeling like you don't matter, I would say start with mattering to yourself again, finding, getting in touch, tuning in to what you need so that you can show up as your best self. That's number one. And then number two, I would say ask yourself if you are investing in your friendships, finding one or two people in your life that you can open up to, that you can be vulnerable with and who will be vulnerable with you. Those relationships feed our sense of mattering. They remind us that we matter for who we are. You mentioned at the very beginning that you know, that a symptom of feeling like you don't matter might be something like road rage, doesn't seem on the surface to be connected. So connected for me. Yeah. So mattering is a deep human need that we inherited from our earliest ancestors. It's an evolutionary need. We need to know that we are valued by our band or our group. And so when we are made to feel like we don't matter, we will act out in ways as if to say, oh, why don't matter? I'll show you, I matter. And that is what road rage is, right? Somebody feels cut off, either literally or figuratively. And so they are asserting their sense of mattering. Oh, I will show you, I matter. So it's almost like demanding attention, demanding it. Once you see the world through the lens of mattering, you cannot unsee it. You will see that when people are rude to you in civility, these are signs that they are struggling with a sense of mattering themselves. I'm not saying to let people off the hook, but I'm saying instead of getting furious and judgmental when people are acting out, you might get curious. What is it that went, are they feeling like they don't matter? What might be going on in this person's life? And again, I'm not saying that you have to excuse it, but instead maybe you can meet it with a little bit of compassion. There are so many people today struggling with this unmet need to matter. And it shows up in anger, it shows up in loneliness, it shows up in disengagement at work. These symptoms that we often look at as kind of separate things are really rooted in mattering, in feeling like I don't matter. You know what I'm wondering is this lack of mattering that you're talking about, that people feel, is this a contemporary problem, do you think, or has this always happened? Is this always been going on? I think that is a great question. And what I will say is, it was first studied mattering in 1981. So I don't have data before that day, but I could be pretty assured that back 50 years ago, people struggled with mattering less. And here's why, here's why I believe that is, there were ecosystems, there were neighborhoods, close-knit neighborhoods, people had a social contract at work where if you worked and you were loyal for 40 years, you would be rewarded with a pension. People felt more connected, there were, you know, we were a more religious society. And all the major religions talk about this idea of unconditional worth, unconditional value. So what has happened over the last several decades is that these ecosystems that used to deliver mattering, religious institutions, neighborhoods, workplaces, communities, those have eroded. And so when we are struggling with feeling like we don't matter, we feel it so personally. We do not have backup systems to remind us of our worth. So instead, it makes us feel even more isolated. So I do think, and by the way, I think tech has fueled this erosion of mattering and magnified it. Tech has, you know, when you go to Silicon Valley, all of the companies, the startup tech companies, talk about a frictionless experience that they want the customer to be able to press a button and get their food, get their product, things should be easy. This frictionless life that tech is trying to deliver for us has really lowered our tolerance for friction in our everyday lives. And what are relationships? They are friction makers, right? Humans create friction. And so sitting on our couch and sending a text or sitting on our couch and scrolling instead of putting on our clothes going out in the cold, having dinner with a friend where there might be some awkward conversation or they may say something that disappoints us, that it is very easy to escape relationships in technology. But what it is doing, it is making us feel lonely and like we matter less. And so all of these things, these ecosystems that no longer exist, tech, you know, selling us this idea that life should be frictionless, they really pulled us away from relationships that once delivered pretty regularly, this sense of mattering for us. So I do think it's a modern phenomenon. And with the advent of the AI, I think it's only going to get worse. If we don't stop, name this need that all of us have and understand how to meet it for ourselves and for the people in our lives that we care about. Right. Yeah. Not only do we need to feel like we matter, but we need to remind other people they do too, because they may not feel like they matter. Yes, exactly. Well, anybody listening, I think, understands now the importance of mattering and probably always did. But we never talk about this. And, you know, I don't think we've ever had this conversation, this topic on the show before. And I appreciate you coming on and bringing it to the service so we can understand it better. Jennifer Braini Wallace has been my guest. The book is called mattering, the secret to a life of deep connection and purpose. And there is a link to her book at Amazon in the show notes. It was great talking to you, Jennifer. Thanks. Amazing. Thanks so much. The New LinkedIn hiring pro can't undo your last hire, the lone wolf, who you thought was a good collaborator because you didn't have the right candidate insights. But once you hired them, it was all hoarding, info, declining meetings and howling at the full moon. But LinkedIn hiring pro can find you a perfect fit by using insights from the LinkedIn network to give you a short list of the best fit candidates. Higher right, the first time with LinkedIn hiring pro. Post your first job today and get 100 pounds off at LinkedIn.com slash AI higher. Tams in conditions apply. Hey, it's Hillary Frank from the Longest Shortest Time, an award-winning podcast about parenthood and reproductive health. We talk about things like sex, ed, birth control, pregnancy, bodily autonomy, and of course, kids of all ages. But you don't have to be a parent to listen. If you like surprising, funny, poignant stories about human relationships, and you know, periods, the longest shortest time is for you. Find us in any podcast app or at longassortistime.com. So I'll admit something right up front here. I'm a dog person. I've had dogs most of my life. I've had cats too. I had one really cool cat when I was younger. But overall, I've just never really gotten cats. They seem aloof and independent. They're not especially impressed by humans. And yet, millions of people absolutely love them. In fact, cats are one of the most popular pets in the US with tens of millions of households owning them. There are upwards of 90 million pet cats roaming around American homes. So I'm clearly missing something, which raises a bigger question, why do humans bond so strongly with an animal that doesn't seem to need us, at least not the way dogs do? Where did this relationship with cats come from? And why has it lasted for thousands of years? That's what we're digging into today with Jerry Moore. He's an archaeologist, writer, and professor emeritus of anthropology at California State University Dominguez Hills. And he is author of a book called Cat Tales, a history. All right, Jerry, so help me understand cats here, starting with how they became pets in the first place. Yeah, that's one of the most interesting and improbable events that I know of in my studies of archaeology. I mean, it's one of the least likely events because on the one hand, what happens is that every continent with the exception of Australia and Antarctica has a small wild cat that you would think would be suitable for domestication. But in fact, all of our domesticated cats are derived from one species of cat that was found in North Africa and in the near east and then not only domesticated, but then spread around the world and in many places with terrible consequences. But the process by which that transformation from absolutely wild animal to one that's curled up at your feet is one of the most enigmatic events in human history because on the one hand, it takes place when humans start not only raising their own food, but more particularly raising grains, and storing them to be used throughout the year. So you have like large storage of harvest. But the ironic thing is that that sort of process occurs in different places around the world, including for example, in ancient Mexico and Guatemala, Mesoamerica, or the Andes. And in those places also, there are wild cats that you would think, well, maybe they would have been attracted to the pests that occupy storage bins of corn and things like that, but they weren't. Because there's this other bizarre thing that happens is that it's not just the fact that people are raising grain, particularly wheat and barley in the near east, and then storing it. But at the same time, what we think of as the house mouse, mousse musculus, begins expanding out of the Himalayas of all places, westward into the near east and the middle east. And that animal goes into the storage bins, starts reproducing, and creates enough of a dietary basis to attract the wild cats in, to eat those mice. Okay, so let me recap here. So humans raise grain and store it. And basically mice find out about the grain, and they like grain, so they show up, and they start eating all the grain that's been stored. And there's enough mice that the cats show up and start eating the mice that are eating the grain. But do cats show up naturally, or people who are raising the grain, bring them in to help fight the mouse problem? As far as we know, they come in naturally at first, because they're sitting out, or they're looking for this dense food supply. But very quickly, human beings not only begin to try to control the breeding of cats, which is a virtually impossible thing to do until you have modern veterinary medicine. But they're treating cats as pets. And we can tell from very early on, so we've got, for example, 10,000-year-old burials on the island of Crete, where a young man in his 20s is dead, has buried, and he's buried next to his pet cat. And we know that the cat is a pet, because it's got a necklace around it. It shows no evidence of trauma, so it's been kind of painlessly sacrifice to be with this young man. And so that's a pretty interesting transformation that takes place. But in addition to being pets, if I'm remembering this correctly, cats have also been deified. I mean, it seems like in ancient Egypt, cats were thought of spirit-like or god-like creatures, right? Oh, absolutely, absolutely. And so, for example, in the new kingdom of ancient Egypt, there was a goddess, Bubatis, who was a goddess of fertility and other sorts of things. And she was frequently envisioned as being a cat. And large numbers of real cats were mummified and offered in her honor, buried in massive cemeteries on the banks of the aisle of the Nile. So massive, in fact, that some of those cemeteries were looted in the late 1800s, and the mummified animals that were there, cats and other animals were shipped to England to be used as organic fertilizer. But cats have been coming into people's homes for how long now? Oh, I would put, you know, every time an archaeologist say, oh, it occurred at this time, there's going to be another site that's found that's slightly older. But I would say that somewhere in between, you know, 10 to 15,000 years ago in the Near East, we certainly had interactions with cats. So the statistic I read is that there are about 90 million pet cats in the United States. Do you know how many cats in the United States there are that are nobody's pet? And I don't mean, you know, like Bobcats, but I mean, what look like house cats, but are just feral cats roaming around? The estimates it for the United States, feral cats in the United States, it's estimated between 50 to 70 million feral cats in the United States. What? Yeah, yeah. It's an enormous number. And in other places in the world, for example, just last year, New Zealand was in the news because they had to, they organized a nationwide hunting of feral cats because the feral cats are destroying any native wildlife in the area, lizards and squirrels and things of that sort. And are the feral cats in the United States? Are they naturally occurring or are they escaped, runaway pet cats that somehow managed to adapt to the outside world? Most of them are domesticated cats that get abandoned or have, you know, been allowed to roam and then their owners lost track of them. So that's mostly what what it is. And it's, and I wanted to distinguish what, when I'm talking about feral cats, I'm not talking about wild cat species like Bobcats or mountain lions or things like that. When I talk about feral cats, I mean these kind of house cats gone wild. Wow. I had no idea there were that many. Because I assumed wrongful assumption that those cats wouldn't be able to survive by themselves, that domesticated cats don't have the skills necessary to find food for themselves or whatever. Now they do. They do. They have impacts on bird populations, rodent populations, which most of the time we approve of that. But no, they have those skills. So what is a Bobcat? Because we have one in our neighborhood, maybe more than one, but we see it on our ring camera all the time, walking across the driveway. And I wonder like, what is that? What is a Bobcat? You know, I don't know very much about Bobcats as such. I've seen them. I've seen them hiking in the Sierra Nevada. But they tend to be pretty isolated animals. They are, they don't really pose any kind of threat to humans the way that a mountain lion or something like that might. But they, you know, so many of us, especially you're in California, but also in places like Colorado and elsewhere, you know, we live in what we think of as suburbs or cities, but we're not that far away from either actual wild lands or kind of mixed strategy uses. So for example, one of the places where we see a lot of, not just Bobcats, but mountain lions and animals like that are on the edges of large golf courses that are adjacent to mountain systems, whether it's in California or in Colorado, because those golf courses have water and they have grass that attract deer that attract mountain lions. Has the domestication of cats at all changed their appearance? Do the, does a cat today look just like a cat did in ancient Egypt? The similarities are striking enough that you would have no problem recognizing them. But beginning in the late 19th century, early 20th century, cat fanciers here in the United States and in Europe began to selectively breed cats so that you would have different varieties of cats. Those differences, whether it's a syamies or a main cune, are largely only visible in terms of fur and coloration. They're not really noticeable in terms of their skeletal remains. And so the basic form of the animals was not really selected for as much as their appearance was. So I'd like to get your take on this since you've studied cats. A lot of us who are not big cat people kind of don't get it because cats are aloof and seemingly don't really care all that much about us except that we feed them. Yet the appeal of having cats goes back as you've pointed out, centuries. And why is that? What's the appeal unlike say a dog who is always happy to see you? I think that cats fall into this category of what we think of as charismatic species. And this is a term that comes out of wildlife biology for animals and in some cases plants that seem to really attract human attention. And so these are the animals that show up on your advertisements for a world wildlife fund or for your local zoos and things like that. It turns out that they don't put tapeworms up there as their icons. They put up animals that are charismatic. And there's been a lot of research on this by advertisers and others. And we know what the top 20 charismatic species are. And of the top 10 I think it's four are different varieties of cats, lions, tigers, cheetahs, it's leopards, etc. And as well as elephants and things of that. And what's really interesting is that when we go back and look at cave art that was made 15 to 20,000 years ago and painted on the walls of caves in Europe during the Paleolithic, like it's Chauvet Cave, the animals that are depicted there are not just some random depiction of animals that ancient peoples ran into. They are the same charismatic species. They are cave lions, they are cave bears, they're mammoths, they're rhinocerae. And it's really interesting to see that kind of continuity between someone who's making cave art in the Upper Paleolithic and a modern designer who's saying, okay, who would be a good animal character for the next Disney cartoon? And they're likely to choose the same charismatic animals. You know, I'd never really thought of it that way before, but you're so right that you know, they don't put like really ugly animals up. That it's always the cute ones and who can resist the kitten. I mean, what's cute than that? Right. And you know, I've often toyed with the idea. I mean, what would a Disney film based on Tammy the tapeworm look like? I don't know, and I'll never know because I wouldn't go see it. So neither would most people. So that's exactly. But this idea that you're speaking of earlier that there are people buried with their cats, I don't get that. What? Because why? Because of the affinity between people and their animals. This is something that you should realize that here in the United States, as well as elsewhere in Europe, for example, in the United Kingdom, we have explicit laws stating why animals and humans cannot be buried together. And in part, those laws exist in order to make sure that folks who love their cats and dogs don't get interred with them. So this is a cultural barrier that we've got. In fact, one of the reasons that people are attracted to having their cats cremated is so that they can have the cat with them after the animal has died, which they otherwise would not be able to do given our state laws about cemeteries and burials. But if you are buried with your cat, that means you took your life cat and killed it in order to bury it. Yeah, and with that, there's an implication, generally, that there is an afterlife that you are going both going into. And you don't want to go make that journey alone. Yeah, that's weird. I mean, that's hard to get your head around because it's just because it seems so bizarre. But I didn't know there were laws that you couldn't be buried. Like if you, if you and your cat were killed in a car accident together, you couldn't bury the cat with a person. That's correct. And I know that's true in California. And in fact, one of the interesting things here in Carson is we've got a human cemetery just down the street for more pet cemetery. And it's, you know, that's as close as someone can get to being buried near their cat. What's one thing or two things about cats that I probably don't know that would fascinate me or surprise me? Well, the first thing is that cats actually are trying often to communicate with us. And this is something that I, you know, I've been living around cats for a long time and I only learned this recently that when a cat, a domestic kitty cat approaches you and its tail is up. That's a symbol signifying, yeah, I want to interact with you. So the tail up is actually a symbol. That's one thing. The second thing I think that's really fascinating and kind of unexpected about cats is just how smart and curious they are. That in and of itself is kind of a fascinating mystery, isn't it? I wouldn't say that about a goldfish, for example. I don't think there's a little, you know, complex mind that's paddling around in that fishbowl. And, you know, this is not something that I'm Jerry Mordor just making up. I mean, we see this in different cultures and different traditional cultures and we see it throughout the Western tradition. I mean, there is a reason why an Alice in Wonderland Lewis Carroll did not write about the Cheshire dog. Yeah, well, I mean, cats are, with a dog, it seems like you get what you see is what you get that a dog is very much an open book where cats seem so mysterious. And, you know, I've told this story before on a previous episode, but I used to have a cat and our family moved overseas for a year and gave the cat to the neighbor, but of course, the cat didn't know that. And so it kept going back to our house, which was rented out to people who didn't want it. So eventually the cat just ran away and we came back and I think it was two years later, the cat just showed up, just came back home and went right towards dish was like, well, where's dinner? And, but he's been going for three years and like, what were you been? And it's very right. Now, they have remarkable spatial memories. And I think one of the things about that that's important is that it's not just remembering a place. They're also remembering an interaction that that cat had with you and your family in that particular place. And that's really remarkable, isn't it? Yeah, well, yeah, I didn't just come home and sit on the steps. It came in what where it's bowl used to be and waited for something to eat. So it, it was remembering or something. It was remembering an experience of time for dinner. Right. Right. Well, I appreciate you explaining all this because I think for a lot of us, the appeal of cats as a pet is a bit of a mystery just because they seem so detached and aloof. But I understand it a little better now. I've been talking with Jerry Moore, who is an archaeologist and writer and he is author of a book called Cat Tales, a History. And there's a link to that book in the show notes. Jerry, thanks. You know your cats. Okay. Thanks very much for your interest in this project. When you get sick, it's tempting to reach for a home remedy. But do any of them actually work? Well, according to consumer reports and other recent medical reviews, some classic remedies really can help ease the symptoms, even if they don't cure the illness. Honey, for example, has been shown to soothe coughs and sore throats. And in some studies, it performs nearly as well as over the counter cough medicines. Warm drinks, especially tea with honey, help lubricate the throat, promote saliva production and thin mucus, which can reduce irritation. And chicken soup really earns its reputation. It helps with hydration, it loosens congestion, and may even reduce inflammation, making you feel better faster. Supplements like vitamin C and zinc, mixed evidence there, vitamin C might modestly shorten colds and zinc taken early may reduce the duration, at least it did in some studies, but the evidence is not uniform. Now these remedies don't cure a cold, but they can make the experience more comfortable while your immune system does the rest of the work. And that is something you should know. You know, we try to cover a lot of interesting topics on this show. And today, for example, we talked about mattering and cats, if you know somebody who's feeling like maybe they don't matter, or you have a cat lover in your life that might enjoy it, I hope you'll share this episode with them. I'm sure they'd appreciate it and it helps us grow our show. I'm Mike Herothers. Thanks for listening today to something you should know. Hey, it's Hillary Frank from the Longest Shortest Time, an award-winning podcast about parenthood and reproductive health. There is so much going on right now in the world of reproductive health and we're covering it all. Birth control, pregnancy, gender, bodily autonomy, menopause, consent, sperm, so many stories about sperm, and of course the joys and absurdities of raising kids of all ages. If you're new to the show, check out an episode called The Staircase. It's a personal story of mine about trying to get my kids schooled and teach sex ed. Spoiler, I get it to happen, but not at all in the way that I wanted. We also talked to plenty of non-parents, so you don't have to be a parent to listen. If you like surprising, funny, poignant stories about human relationships and periods, the longest shortest time is for you. Find us in any podcast app or at Longishortistime.com.