This is a HeadGum Podcast. Checking Allstate first could save you hundreds on car insurance. That's smart. Not checking that you put your slippers next to the bed before going to sleep. Sad times. I really don't like it when my feet have to touch the cold floor, even for an instant. Yeah, checking first is smart. So check Allstate first for a quote that could save you hundreds. You're in good hands with Allstate. Potential savings vary, subject to terms, conditions, and availability. Allstate North American Insurance Company and affiliates, Northbrook, Illinois. Handsome pot. Chatting with friends on the handsome pot. Chatting with friends on the handsome pot. Pretty Little Episode. Hello and welcome to a Pretty Little Episode. episode i'm may martin joined by the effortlessly eternally handsome tig notaro hell yeah but i keep saying hell yeah i think my friend matt says it and i've i can't pull it off but i'm saying it a lot i think you're pulling it off hasn't i haven't tripped up on it thanks yeah yeah no thank you Thanks for just really being so smooth with the hell yeah. Hell yeah. Oh, hell yeah. Oh, hell yeah. Oh, girl, hell yeah. I noticed it because the other night, this must have been a few weeks ago, Matt said, is it raining outside? And I just opened the front door and I went, hell yeah. Well, that doesn't fully work there. It doesn't feel like the right context. No, it feels like you're an alien. Hell yeah. You might be. And you're just trying to figure out where to insert your hell yes. Yeah. Mm-hmm. I wouldn't be shocked if someone told me that I'm an alien who lost their way. And you wouldn't know on your own. No, I think. Like maybe when you were a child. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And someone said, we did some tests and you're not from here. Kind of like when people find out they're adopted sometimes. are like oh something felt a little different well now that you mention it maybe i'm adopted i don't think you are i've seen um pictures of your dad yeah we look very similar yeah yeah yes yeah do you look like your parents people say i look a lot like my mother i probably look more like my aunt my father my father well my father's sister interesting then i look like my father oh i see okay yeah i always say that um my mother was really really attractive like she i always say she was really gorgeous and this is so rude because it's not like my father wasn't attractive yeah but i but just for the joke i say my mother was gorgeous and my father was not. And I just mean in the way that... Wait, that's the joke? No, I say, which makes me drop dead cute. Oh, yeah, that's good. Yeah, I get that. Yeah, that's good. Yeah, because my father was cute and attractive, but my mother kind of had... She just had the look, and she was very up on fashion. Yes. You know, where my father was like... More approachably attractive, like the more. Approachably attractive. He had like a gregarious, they both had gregarious personalities. And, you know, he was a little more pistol in the cowboy boot, in the motorcycle boot kind of guy. Right. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Not that you can't be gorgeous doing that, but. Yeah. So I think it might be too much if you had two parents who were kind of intimidatingly attractive. I think you got to get a little. Sometimes it glitches. It glitches. Oh, yeah. sometimes you see that with celebrity kids you're like two perfect looking parents who have like crazy bone structure and cheap and then and then their kids are are aliens as well yeah um but uh tig i have someone to tell you oh gosh what no it's not i'm adopted you're adopted i'm adopted i'm an alien what what are you telling me i'm nervous i'm excited um okay i'm getting kicked out of the pod. Your reaction is indicative of someone who has had a lot of random bad news in their life. I'm just telling you an interesting thing I read on the internet, which is a persistent low frequency hum has invaded the city of West Haven, Connecticut, according to many residents, leaving some shaken by an occurrence they're calling everything from mysterious to excruciating. so it's this whole city that are just hearing mainly at night what a letdown of what you were going to tell me but you're going to just scroll i almost wish i almost wish you had kicked me out of the podcast just for a bit of spice yeah like okay there's a low hum there's a hum a low consistent hum and it's interfering with their sleep and no one is explaining it. And we're just going to sort of gloss over it. I'm sure the news will move on. And is this a legit news source? Well, it's the New York Post and they have a video of the town hall meeting of this woman saying, what the hell is with this hum? Okay. All right. Yeah. I have an idea for a movie that I would never write. Oh, great. And I need you to bleep it out so no one steals it, Thomas. It's great for the pod. Yeah, and people will enjoy hearing this. But I thought it would be really interesting if there was a movie where... Now bleep out from here. Where, like, I don't even know how to explain it, but like... Yeah, Thomas, bleep it out and then everyone go to YouTube and just see if you can guess from Tig movements what the plot of that movie is Is there a plot I don even know if I have anything quite Will you buy it Yeah Will you buy the movie I'll give you some development money and we can see... But you're going to outsource? Maybe hire a writer? Yeah. I just have a meeting with a writer and I'll just do this and see what we come up with. What's the title? Because maybe we could say the title and that would at least be a hint. Oh, I got a title. Okay. It's probably exactly what mine is. Is yours full tilt? No. Mine is, oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, no. Which, you know, I would definitely feel if. Yeah, I like that. You didn't like full tilt or. I do. I just thought for sure you were thinking, oh, no. Oh, no. I wish we'd said okay one two three say the name of the movie and then both said oh no okay let's do it let's go one two three oh no you're supposed to say yours okay we probably came up with the same title so let's do it one two three full tilt oh no well we're going with oh no yeah what if it's oh no exclamation mark the yoko ono story wait is that like the demise of the beatles yeah no it's her life story and it's a biopic but it's oh h space and oh exclamation mark oh no and it's the yoko ono story oh i was thinking it was like oh no the yoko ono story and then it's still just oh this movie. This movie is. Yeah. Again, fill in the blanks what everyone thinks this movie is. Should we listen to a question? Yeah, we should listen to a question. My name is Emma and I'm a palliative care physician. I was recently talking with my intern about how it is a fact of life that sometimes you will just say the wrong thing at the wrong time, despite your best intentions. I'm wondering if you can share a time in which you heard yourself saying the blatantly wrong thing at the wrong time and just had to sit in that moment and think, oh my God, what just came out of my mouth? That's really interesting. Because I would say more than I've ever, I mean, listen, I'm sure my whole life has been fumbling over myself and doing the wrong things and trying to make things right. um but i feel like what i connect with more about that question is feeling really sad to hear news and not feeling like i'm sounding connected enough to my sorrow you know where where i because sometimes you find out bad news in a very casual conversation especially with a stranger where the where they will say like oh thank you for putting that project out that was helpful I just lost and then they tell you and then it's uh you know you don't you don't quite know that you're in that conversation right with somebody and then they kind of will continue talking and and then you're not really having a moment to and not to I'm not blaming it on the person that's sharing it. I just feel like I go into my head where I'm like, oh my gosh, that's really devastating news. And I don't know if I sounded connected enough to my emotions and words and in that exchange. Yeah. And I guess you can say that in the moment, like you can, you can say that's really devastating. Sorry. Um, yeah, but yeah, And then do you worry about it afterwards or you feel? Yeah. Yeah. Where I'm like, oh my God, that is rough. I mean, I actually had a really, really nice touching exchange that I guess it's a perfect example of actually both myself and the person I was talking to working through that awkwardness. Yeah, muddling through. Yeah, because somebody that I worked with that I didn't realize had had a massive, massive loss. She had lost her son when he was a teenager. And I've worked with her on set on Star Trek. And we got into a conversation and then it led me into talking about come see me in the good light. And oh, no, I'm sorry. No, it didn't. That's not it at all. I was rapping and she was like, Oh, are you excited to go home? Be with your family? I bet. And I was like, Oh my gosh. Yeah. I'm so excited. And she was like, how many kids you have two kids? I said, yeah. I said, do you have kids? Like, and she's not somebody, she's somebody that sometimes is, is put on, if that makes sense, put on me to, she does makeup. Yeah. Yeah. So she's not my typical person, but she's on the show and she's not always covering me, but sometimes. And I said, oh, do you have kids? And that's when she said, oh, my daughter is whatever, age 20 something. And then I lost my son when he was a teen. And it knocked me over. I was, I just, it's that reminder of like, you do not know. And she was so. Like what people are carrying. Yeah. Yeah. And she was so pleasant and open. And we had a moment where and I think I did go back and I was like, I'm sorry, I'm just like, I'm just devastated. Like I and she and she was like, do you mind if I hug you? And I said, Oh, my gosh, no. And we just had a really nice moment. Yeah And then we were talking about Andrea and the doc and loss and grief and all of that stuff And it was just a moment that just kind of accidentally unfolded Yeah. And you're probably, I bet you're going to, I mean, that's a different context, but I bet you're going to get so much of that all the time because of the doc. Like, yeah. And then, I mean, sometimes it's okay to just say, God, I'm so sorry. I don't even know what to say. That's so awful. But yeah, it's better not to get paralyzed. like it's so good that you went back to it and said by the way like that has landed with me like yeah but man yeah you never know what people are are carrying yeah I'm trying to think if I yeah I say the wrong thing all the time um yeah that's I can't think of a specific example I mean you know what sometimes when I've been like uh going through a breakup as I sometimes seem to be or I look back on that period of life and I realize that I've been very self-centered, like that some friend was talking to me about something and I found a way to tangentially connect it to my breakup. And then I have to reach out and go, sorry, that should have been about you, that conversation. Right, right, right. Checking Allstate first could save you hundreds on car insurance. That's smart. Not checking the rules for that new board game before you get started, that's when the evening can take a turn. You're three hours in and you just realize you can only buy railroads when your blue tokens on a square with four sides. Better luck next time. Yeah, checking first is smart. So check Allstate first for a quote that could save you hundreds. You're in good hands with Allstate. Potential savings vary subject to terms, conditions, and availability. Allstate North American Insurance company and affiliates, Northbrook, Illinois. But I want to hear Emma's answer. Yes. My answer is that after a really sad, solemn phone call in which I had to tell a family member that their loved one was dying and unlikely to last the night, I then ended the conversation by saying, I hope you have a good night, right as I was hanging up. So I didn't even get a chance to course correct. I felt truly, truly awful. Thank you so much for your podcast. It brings me such joy. I did forget that Emma's a palliative care physician. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But that's not too bad. People know that that's just a turn of phrase. It's like when the person who checks you into your flight says, have a good flight, and you go, you too. Yeah, right. I told you about when, I mean, before Dr. Oz was part of this administration, I went on his talk show. and my mother had just died and my mother really loved like Oprah and Dr. Oz and all of her gaggle of of characters and and when I my mother had died and I went on his show and I was talking about everything I had gone through and then we wrapped and and you know they're like cut and he's like thank you so much for being on the show and I said oh yeah and I said I have to tell you um my mother loved you like this is one second after talking and he goes give her my love oh my god oh my god and i said oh um she died remember i was just talking about how she died and he goes oh god i am so sorry like just totally on autopilot well my my dad wrote a book a memoir about living in Greece with my mom. And it's the story of my brother passing. So at the end of the book, my brother passes away. They move back to Canada. So when he's promoting this book, he's on morning television. And the woman's going, I love the book. So why did you leave Greece? Why did you ever move out? And he's like, well, my son died. And she just hadn't read the book. And this kept happening of people being like, oh, it's a romance on a Greek island. So fun. And like they just hadn't been briefed properly. That reminds me of like when Martin Short was on like that morning talk show. What was that? Just years ago. You know, his wife died years ago. And when he was on there, the host was like just asking how she's doing. I can't quite remember. It was a while ago. Yeah. And he, you could tell he was just like, oh. Oh, I remember this. And he actually said, oh, she's doing great. Thank you. Yeah. And then he talked about it later. He was like, I just went with it. Yeah. Yeah. I think so. Yeah. And he lost his, both his parents and his sibling before he was like 20, right? I think something like that. Yeah. I was just re-listening to an interview with him because I'm so obsessed with that era of Canadian comedy and SCTV. And they're making a documentary about this musical Godspell, you know, about that? It was this one cast in Toronto that just happened to be, everyone became a household name. It was like Victor Garber and... Wasn't Gilda in that? Gilda and Eugene Levy, Catherine O'Hara, Martin Short, just crazy. Yeah, it was just one of those like... My mom saw it in the 70s in Toronto. Really? What are you doing with your hand? Oh, that's weird. Yeah. Sorry. I was tossing this chain up and down, just fidgeting. What did it look like? I was jerking off. I don't know what you were doing. I just, I didn't know if you were churning butter. That was weird. Yeah. Should we have another question? I think we should. Hello, May, Tig, and Fortune. This is Hannah from Vermont. I suppose this is one that's an advice question primarily for TIG, but whoever's on, love to hear your answers. My wife and I are expecting twins within the coming weeks. Oh, my God. And I'm a twin. Loved being a twin. This is my first time as a parent of twins. And I wondering if you have any advice about being a parent of twins Love the pod Thanks Oh that exciting Oh my gosh At first I thought she was mad at us because it was hello May, Tig and Fortune. It was like, I have a bone to pick with you. But it's the happiest question alive. Yeah. Or almost alive. Yeah. Yeah. Two little lives are headed our way. That's really exciting. And I'm a little jealous that I don't get to have two new lumps arriving into my life. Say the word and I will birth them for you and we will raise them together. Yeah, it's exciting. You know what I want to say first and foremost, whether you have twins or not, what I wish somebody would have told me is when you have your child or your twins or your triplets or whatever the hell's going on under your roof, that first year is so hard. I found it to be very hard, like with the no sleep and the feeding schedule and the crying and the burping and the diapers. And it's just it is you are in it like you. And I didn't understand when people would be like, I didn't even have time to take a shower today. It's so crazy. But it's only one year of your life. And it's a really simple thing to think about. but just know like I when I was in it I thought this is my life I am just this is what having a kid having kids and we're just constantly it's and it is it's busy but like when Max and Finn hit four yeah they were getting up on their own just going downstairs watching cartoons in the morning you know they could pour some cereal in a bowl and you know things started to get manageable They could dress themselves, go to the bathroom, all that stuff. But in that first year, when you're feeling like this is insanity, it is. Yeah. But it's also a blip in the big picture. And I would say the other thing, we had friends that were twins. We've had several different friends that are twins. and what they really encouraged was making sure that you encourage them to be individuals. And we never dressed our kids alike. And there's no judgment if you do, but we just really... The temptation is strong. We weren't even slightly tempted. Really? Not at all. And also one of my favorite things too is like as soon as a kid can dress themselves, I cannot wait to see those shoes on the wrong feet. Yeah. To see the weird choices. Oh, my God. Yes. Anything they put on, I cannot wait to see when they reveal themselves. Because, you know, they've really they've gone. Yeah, this looks good. Oh, yeah. Two T-shirts on top of each other. And like, yeah. Oh, my gosh. Pants on backwards was constant in our house. I mean, that's so funny. Yeah. Back pockets in the front. Shoes on the wrong feet. Stephanie and I were on our walk a couple of mornings ago and we passed this little cub that had shoes on the wrong feet. And we were both like, oh, I miss that so much. Yeah, I like that advice. It's like it goes so quickly. It's going to be a rough year. But if you can remember, it's not endless. Then you can maybe enjoy it more. Yeah. When you're in the middle of it all, when you're really in the middle of it all, just know. and and look it comes easier for some people they feel like it got easy when their kid turned three we also never called it the terrible twos because we didn't think it was terrible you know they're like chewing on things they're pushing back they they want to do their own thing and it's so cute and like it's you can have frustrating moments for sure but like I don't think it's terrible at all. I don't like to put that negative spin on it. Yeah, I like that. Well, good luck, Hannah. Yeah, good luck, Hannah. Really exciting. Send us a picture of your little cubs. Yes, please. And I'll just say right out of the gate, I'm going on tour. And yeah, there are some dates that are being canceled, rescheduled. And that's solely because of shifts in my schedule and not because I have anything against your town or your state or anything like that. And my apologies, just keep going back to tignotaro.com to see if there's a rescheduling. Yeah, and check out maymartin.net for all my tour dates. I'm going across America and Canada and I'm doing meet and greets and I want to see people and feel the solidarity in these awful times. So come, it'll be very wholesome and magical and fun. Can't wait to see everybody. And send in your questions. Yes. Keep sending them in and share your favorite episodes. Let's keep building this awesome, handsome community. Get your tickets to the Wiltern too. Our live show. Oh yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And until next time. Keep it. Keep it pretty. Handsome is hosted by me, Fortune Feimster, Tig Notaro, and Mae Martin. The show is produced, recorded, and edited by Thomas Woollett. Email us at handsomepod at gmail.com and follow us on social media at handsomepod. What a podcast! What a podcast! What a podcast! That was a hate gum podcast. Checking Allstate first could save you hundreds on car insurance. That's smart. Not checking if you properly stored your half-eaten bag of potato chips? So sad. Nothing's worse than going for a snack and realizing you've let your chips go stale. Yeah, checking first is smart. So check Allstate first for a quote that could save you hundreds. You're in good hands with Allstate. Potential savings vary, subject to terms, conditions, and availability. Allstate North American Insurance Company and Affiliates. Northbrook, Illinois.
