Lauren Lake, Elisa Donovan, & Doug Budin: Lawn Balls

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I have no problem prioritising myself. I'm glad that you're feeling so good about this but the truth is I got fired and it's your fucking fault. She gets paid for this shit. You get paid for this shit. Jeff Lewis has issues. Hey, welcome to Jeff Lewis has issues in this episode, Lorne Lake, Lisa Donovan and Doug Butte joined the show. We chat about Christmas balls, true crime podcasts and last minute invitations to Sutton Strax holiday party. Good morning. Good morning. Before we talk about Sutton's. In sync. Sutton Strax party before we dive into that. I think we should back up a little bit. Now, Lisa, unfortunately, you were not here for the Dabarbara two-year anniversary party. I was not. Your honor was there and did you witness Doug and his bad acting? Oh my god. You knew that she was going to say some words. Not about me. I knew she was going to say some words and I knew she was going to say some words about you. You knew she was going to give a speech? Yes. Then why was your phone on full volume? Well, that was embarrassing. Wait, what happened? My phone rang. Thanks, Kate Hampton called me but she was, she didn't know. Oh. But yeah, my phone was on full volume. So yeah, I knew she was going to say something about you. I certainly didn't know she was going to mention anything about me or Shane or Paolo or any of these. I don't believe you. Because the way you looked, he did this whole like, oh, I was hiding behind that potted plant. Did you see the fake tear? He also said, stop it now. It wasn't. He did. Stop it. It was so meaningful. I cried. I teared up. So did she. Everybody was crying. Well, almost everybody. It was just a beautiful moment and you were, you felt a little too, Jeff. I saw it in your face. Then you had to make a joke. His face does not move. That is. I did. I saw it in his eyes. Tears of pain. They were beautiful words. She went to you first and she had some nice things to say. And that's when you noticed he like popped out of the corner because he wanted everybody to know she's talking about me. Me? Yes, you did. What? Okay, wait, what did she say? She said, and dog where you are dog. And so I popped out from the potted plant. And now he's in the center of the room. Now he's in the center of the room. Okay, okay. And he's acting so surprised when he knew you knew what was coming. You were there. You, that's probably why you went because you knew. You were gonna be honored. And I was so sharp. You remember he was sharp that night. You had to hit a blazer. He was sugar sharp, honey. I'm doing like an, I was wearing like an academic sort of thing. Yes. He was sugar sharp. Speed jacket. Yes. Sugar sharp. Yes. I looked at the smile. I mean, she really has, he's done an amazing amount of the, I mean. Promotion impressed for her. Promotion for her. I think she is probably over the moon with the attitude. But I really, I really didn't know that she was gonna single people out, except, except I did know she was gonna say something to you. Why didn't you warn me? I'd much rather watch you squirm. Would you have changed your outfit? What? Like why? No, no, I just, I would have liked the heads up that I'm gonna be honored. That the whole evening. Was about him. That the whole evening was in my honor. You would have brought a photographer. Well, she did spend a lot of time on me. Much more time on you and Shane combined. Yeah. Yeah. And did that bother you, Shane? I was like, where's the shout out chain? She gave a shout out. No, she did. It was sweet. It was really sweet. It was. It was so thoughtful. She's so lovely. Do you notice when she got to me, it was a little more meaningful and emotional? It was. I'm sure. It was. And she announced at the end that she was changing the name of the restaurant to DeGyff. That's just, yes. Because it's all about you. Well, I, trigger cancer. You know what? I mean, that is really something. I did hear that. I didn't hear that. Through laughter. And it is true what you said yesterday to Liz Patrick, he says, of all the people who had to save my life, it was Jeff fucking Louis. Like he says that all the time. Well, because he knows I'm going to, I'm going to cash in that favor one day. You know, you almost saved mine. He's going to have to save yours. Almost. Yeah. Did you, that was so weird that you told me about your cancer scare when I was drunk on the way to the Uber. That is a strange time to drop it. I just want to say. Oh, is that when he told you? Yeah. I just wanted to mention it to you. I had just found out. I think Lauren, I think I got read the report and Lauren was they, like I told Lauren as it happened. It was like, what? I gotta tell you though, for real, like the last, what is it? At least two months. Yeah. A couple of months. I've been under a very scary cloud and it's because it's all stems from that pre-novo. That's why I said you almost. So they saw something in the scan. They saw something when I had the pre-novo two years ago and I had it tested ultrasounded on my thyroid and they said, you know, you should come back and retest it. So I went back. What I did not know is from that original test, they said for one of them, I should have had a biopsy and my doctor at the time did not order a biopsy. So when I had it retested again two months ago, the report came back and it said once again, biopsy recommended for this one nodule in my thyroid. So you did the biopsy. So I did the biopsy and it took three weeks to schedule the biopsy. So every day for three weeks, I'm trying to get on the schedule. Then I had the biopsy on December 2nd and it took 14 business days to get the result. And so this whole time. This is something you cannot do to a person like Doug. He is like, I would like to get the, I take the test and now what's the result? Like you, this, like you spiral about it. And I knew I was never worried like I'm a doctor, but I knew that you were very, very worried. I played a nurse on TV. I should have known this. But I, I was really, and my doctor who I, you know, I was like, Oh, he'll make me feel better. He said to me, his words were, well, there is cause for great concern. And so when your doctor says that you're waiting on this, so I was really upset about this, obviously. And then the night of the Debarber thing, while I was going there, I got the report saying benign. Sounded to me like, I'm very happy to hear that, but it did sound to me like you were trying to upstage. Oh, stop it. I didn't do it. Oh, you have cancer. I did my own there. Yeah. I almost had cancer. That's what that sounded like to me. So here we are in this wonderful evening. And then, you know, after she gives her speech, which I could tell he's like, Oh, she's moved on so quickly. And then she goes on to me and she's obviously very emotional and we had, you know, we had a moment. Yes. You know, we had a connection. Barbara and I moment. You had the moment. I thought I had cancer. I almost had cancer. Yeah. And so then of course, you know, not 10 minutes after the speech, does he drop the cancer bomb? Privately to you. Not just thought it was weird because we had all been drinking and I was on my way to the Uber and you're like, by the way, I had a cancer scare, but I'm good. And I go, what? Because it was over, but it was such a release. Like truly. We are so happy. So happy. Yes. You got most people. We read that we went through the thing. Doug, I was at his house and he's like, can you just confirm that I'm reading this correctly? It says benign and make it says benign three times. Just so we know, do you want to be cremated or do you want to be buried? I will be cremated. You want to be turned into a diamond? No, I don't. I want to be cremated. I'm going to be scattered up at the country where my father and the mechanic are buried. Okay. And I'm going to be scattered with the ashes of both of my dead dogs. So do we have to fly back east to go to your funeral? Would you go? Well, my is there, can we do an LA service? Can we zoom? Talk to Patrick and Sal. Patrick and Sal are in charge. Is there radio at the cemetery? You know what? Jeff will go. Yeah. Jeff will go. Oh my God. Oh my God. Jason. Jack will go. We got a studio up there. Look at that. He got a mic in there because he knows you're telling the truth. Oh my God. We could go live from the cemetery. It's a beautiful church. Totally. The beautiful church. All right. So then do you want to just like a service at the burial or do you want us to go to? Do you want to? We should eat after. Like how do we do this? There should be a memorial service at a temple with good music. But it's all laid out. Like what? Like what kind of music? Lutacris. No. It's classical music for me. Lude. What was it? What did he say? Lude. Yeah, I think we might have to just. Yeah, we might have to pivot for a second and pivot back. Lutacris. Lude, Chris. We were talking about. He looked amazing. At the Debarborough Anniversary Party. We were just, your honor and I were talking and Doug was there too. We were just talking about like celebrities. Like you've ever been starstruck. And I was talking about my story with Eddie Vedder and you were talking about your story with Prince. Right. Now once again. No, no, no. I don't want to hear that story. Why don't you tell your story and then Doug will one up you. You see my bag over there? Princess, can you see my makeup bag over there? Yes. And mine wasn't even that great. But Doug's definitely was much better than mine. But I loved it because it was a great tag to mine. Mine is nothing. It is just that my brother is in Hound when we lived in New York. There was like this really cool club and you know how in New York. Nails. The clubs are like what wasn't nails. It was one of those ones like on the Lower East Side. Like it's one of those ones where it's a wall. You don't even know. There's no numbers. There's no nothing but you only if you know, you know. So I was trying to take my brother to the swanky New York stuff. And that's when I was like in the, you know, I was singing background for people. So I was like, come on, let's go in here. Let's just go in here. When we get to the bar, he like turns. It was really more. I mean, I was starstruck, but it was also the joy of like my brother because he's like from Detroit, right? So he's now standing at the bar and literally to his left, like probably where Oscar is, it's Prince and he's just there like talking to people. He used to do that all the time in New York. Is that Prince? And I was like, I turned a rope around. I was like, oh my God, it is him. And I told Jeff it was I'm usually not starstruck. I'm not that kind of person, but I couldn't keep my eyes off. Oh, I just, every time I would be talking, I just look back over like, what is he doing now? He is kind of magical. So Doug, go ahead. Go ahead and win, Doug. Doug just shims in. Go ahead and win, Doug. So when I moved to LA and I got this job in marketing, the first party they sent me to work at was at Prince's house. And it was after maybe the Golden Globes and it was that house. It's at Street in Beverly Hills at Long Altoloma, Altavista, because it's the name of one of his albums or a song or something. Anyway, I'm at his house. And I know I'd heard of Prince. I know a couple of songs, but I certainly didn't. I don't think you do. Criminal. I did. Criminal. Name them. Name them. Party like it's 1999. That is exactly how it goes. Precisely how it sounds. So I was a remix. I was there with Absolute Vodka, who was my boss and my client. And so I had to set up the bars and basically at all these parties, I just had to babysit the booze and then leave. That was it. And so I was, I brought my friend Chris Che. And again, this was my first party. And I'm talking, Chris goes to scope out the scene and I'm talking with this really, really nice guy at the bar. And then Chris comes back. We have 10 more minutes before he gets to the point. No, we're getting to this. I know. Seriously, I love this. I know the story and I'm just warning you guys. Now, let's go ahead and use the restroom right now. No, this is it. So I'm talking with this very nice guy at the bar and then Chris comes up to me. And he is looking at the guy that I'm talking to with, you know, absolutely a gape. And I said, oh, Chris, this is my new friend, Chris, but he likes to be called Ludekris. And I think it's the funniest nickname that Che is kicking me. Kicking me. And the guy's name is Ludekris, who's like a big... We all know Ludekris. Now, what about the Prince story? Oh, oh, yeah, sorry. So then Prince, I had to go back the next... Thank you. I had to go back the next day to pick up all the leftover product and the gutter mats, all the napkin, everything. And so my car, which was a sob, was in the shop and they gave me a loaner car, which was a purple PT Cruiser. No way. Heisler. And I drove up to the... I mean... Yeah, I drove up to Prince's house and the Major Domo or the bodyguard, whoever it was, he said, Mr. Prince wants to see your car. And I looked up and Prince was standing right in the second floor and he was looking and he sort of waved. And then he came down and he came outside and he said, I love your car. And I said, oh, it's just a loaner. And he was asking me questions about it. And I didn't know if the napkin... And you didn't even understand why. He didn't understand because it was purple. And that is... Exactly. Exactly. And he sat in the car. How have we been friends for so long? And I've allowed this to happen. He was so diminutive. He was a teeny person. Yes, he's a small... Well, compared to you... Short in stature as well as slight in frame. I danced on stage with Prince. You did? You remember that when he started to bring people up on stage, like that last big tour that he did? Oh, Courtney Cox. And I... Yep. And I was sitting in the front... I have never been so... I'm a psycho weird fan. So I really like... I was beside myself. Oh my God. So did he get in your car? Yeah, he sat in the driver's seat and he pushed a button or two and then he got out and he... He pushed a button or two. And this was before we had iPhones and stuff. Like he didn't take pictures or anything, but he was asked... He was very interested. And it was a sort of an untoward purple. It was glittery. It was a showy. But he liked it. That's lovely. What did he have on? He had a robe. Oh, he had a robe on. Yeah. Now where did you meet Lude Chris? Like a fabulous robe. Lude Chris at one of the bars that I had set... At Prince's house? Yeah, at Prince's... Penelope Cruz was there. And Selma... Hi. Is he there? Because I... You could say whoever. Yeah, I just... We're not gonna know. I'll tell you, there were a lot of famous people. And I just... I never know who any... That's the thing is I don't know that I'm supposed to be impressed. Not because they're not impressive people, just because I don't know who they are. So I'm, you know, whatever. So we're doing a memorial service at the temple. And then we're going to Caravan over to the funeral or to the burial site. The cemetery is two hours north of New York. Say this, for your benefit... I don't think I can make it. You can tack on a visit to Durinda because the... I don't think I can make it. She could do a party for me, maybe. Yeah, someone... So I'll just text her, hey, I just have to stop at this funeral real quick. I'm just gonna stop and just do a drive-by. Remember that guy Doug? Well, he's dead and I'll be in the neighborhood. And then what music are we playing at the service? I was gonna say that's key. That's key, yes. It'll be classical music. Which, you know, my mom has the same thing. Some gospel? She has... I have to find a live orchestra to play at her funeral and I want the same. Don't you think it makes sense for you to play the Spice Girls since you discovered them? Well, they may want to give a tribute concert for me. Do you know what picture you want? Because I think that's important. Like, what is that big blow-up picture? Because you know, you can't trust other people to choose. You're right. You need to pick out that picture. This is important. Maybe you need to know. Maybe you need to know. You want to do a little hair on it? Yes. Me holding it. Me holding my Emmy. Me holding my Emmy. You holding your Emmy. In one hand and my Tony in the other. Okay. I love it. I love it. So you got to know those things. So no picture. We got work to do. We got work to do. I know this. It hasn't happened. AI it. What picture you can pull from? AI it. No, I think it's maybe something with me and my dogs. Oh, that would be lovely. That would be lovely. There could be multiple. Yeah. You looked very nice at Sutton's last night, I thought. I mean, you're spending money on your wardrobe, Doug. These are all good sale items. This is the time to buy because of all the sales. He was wearing something more fitted last night, which I think looks good on him. And you said to me, you know, does it look like I've lost weight? And I said, no, but, but the blazer and the sweater look really nice on you. Yes, they looked and the pocket square. Yeah. We had a discussion about the pants because I understand he, there were some Nantucket red pants that he was considering wearing because he wanted to have a little leg holiday flair, but they that is a summer item. You didn't need holiday flair. But the pocket square, which that looked great, by the way, but so then he chose the and then there was a lighter blue, which wasn't quite right. And you what you chose was a nice. He looks like a little bit and as a Navy. He's a sweater. I've never done that like a sweater with no shirt underneath. Oh, and you can't see the pocket square in there, but it's. Oh, what color is the pocket square red with white? You could do that. You were not giving nipple at all. Oh, I love the color. You wore the sweater without a shirt underneath. I just wore an undershirt. Oh, so you did have a shirt underneath. I love it. A tank top. I think you're just used to wearing multiple layers. Not a t-shirt, a tank top, like a sleeveless. A sleeveless tank. Oh, sexy. And again, what's the reason? Somebody thought he was going to take off that sweater. Here it is, ladies. No. There were a lot of gays last night at Sutton's, of course. She wasn't kidding. Mm hmm. All gays. Name them. OK, Peter, Alex, Arthur. It was a lovely party, though. And she's so lovely. I had never met her before. Well, you're saying that because when I brought Elisa over to meet Sutton, the first thing Sutton did was said, oh my god, I am a huge fan of sushi. Oh, no wonder you love her. She might have called me an icon. Made a bomb show. She might have. Do we talk about the embarrassing incident that happened on the red carpet for you? Oh, what happened? Well, I mean, it's what they wrote about you. Oh, where is she? There's an article. Who is she? Who is she? So you were at the Housemade premiere. Correct. And you looked great. You were on the red carpet. Thank you. And then the article started circulating. Yeah. There were many articles, which it's a little bit like odd to say your. You look stunning. You know, what it says, iconic, you know, bomb shell. Well, what cracks me up about this is that 90s bomb shell. I was emaciated in the 90s. So I don't really feel like this is the proper word. It's because you looked like you were in the 90s. Anyway. But then. 90s bomb shell makes red carpet appearance in plunging green gown 30 years after hit movie. Who is she? Who is she? Who is she? Where is she at? I mean, it's very bizarre. It is. So much. It's very bizarre. I at first thought it was the mystery, but yeah, it was a tabbit of shade. Yeah. Who's that? Yeah. Like you know, you can figure out who she is. But then it goes on to like say all the things. All your credit. That I've done. So you know exactly who she is. And it's like what? But then the other one was not as bad. It said like. Okay, no, let's go back to English class. Maybe it is. Who is she? Right. That's a different. That's a different inflection. Not much. Oh, do you want to know who she is? Oh. Let me tell you. Let me tell you. And then they go and tell you. Tell you who she is. And that's why. Like, like which one? That's reframing. Which one? I like a reframe. I try. Like which 90s icon is she? Yeah. Who is she? Exactly. Who is she? Let me tell you. That's a whole nother way of looking at it. Yeah. I love it. We must be negative because we took it. Lemons and lemonade. Who is she? Who is she? Who is she? Yeah. Or who is she? Wish. How was the house made? I can't wait to see it. It is an incredible movie. It is a wild ride. It is so well made. Amanda say everybody is terrific in it. It's directed like to a T. It's so great. Amanda say Fried is like next level. I don't even know what to say. I know her a little. She's very, her husband is very good friends with a very good friend of mine. So I've, you know, I know her a little bit, not really. But she was, I don't even know what to say. She's so good. So now I saw your post on Instagram. Which did you use chat? No, I do not use chat GPT. Okay. Cause it says a diabolical and clever, brilliantly crafted, masterfully, masterfully acted all around. What? This film is a scary and funny thrill of a ride that must go on. Sit down, buckle your seat belts and hang on. You're welcome. Cut me paste. You absolutely took that from somewhere. I did not. Oh, come on. I did not. You, uh, guys, I am a published author. Okay. So I, I wasn't English major. You better, you better tell somebody. That's right. Oh, she said that's right. Say, say, I know that's right. I know that's right. Who is she? So, you better tell somebody. Who is she? I did not use chat GPT. I have a moral. I, I absolutely will not use that for any kind of writing. No way. No way. No way. I used it for the first time and obviously, how'd you get invited to the premiere? Uh, I'm a nineties. Bomb shell. Bomb shell. Right. So how'd you get invited to the premiere? Because, uh, from Lionsgate. Lionsgate invites me to their events. And there is. Yeah, they do. I, I hosted a. So you came out of obscurity for that. I came out of obscurity for that. From my quiet life at home with my husband and my daughter. That's, that's apparently what I do is I just have a quiet life. At home. I saw that you, you got your holiday balls installed. I got my balls installed. What happened? weren't you supposed to get some? I know they ghosted us. No, they're, they're edging me. These people. The reason I posted it and tagged you guys is because I thought, again, they were sending them to you. Yeah, they, they reached out and said, they asked for an address. They were going to send holiday balls. We were going to use them at the chump miss event. And then I was going to take them home and put them in my yard. These are inflatable. But they never arrived. So. So Christmas was ruined for us. There Christmas. Christmas didn't happen this year. Well, the whole holidays, it's already, I mean, Monroe is devastated. What's the name of that company? Holly Balls. Yeah. Holly Balls ruined our Christmas. Do you think they have a like an administrative execution issue? Sort of like us at the mall yesterday. There was a lot of like. Oh, do you think somebody was injured from a Holly Ball? No. No, like somebody on their side. No, someone on their side. Someone dropped the ball. Somebody dropped the ball. That's right. Her name is how? What if your name is Holly and you work there? I do. I'm a little bit. I'm offended by this. I'm very upset by it. You should be. Yeah, really upset. And what's the retail on the Monroe cried for days over the Holly Balls. I mean, they should they owe you not only the balls, but I am some therapy. Well, I think we have to find another company now because I'm neither. Holly Ball is not the only person that makes Holly Balls. Get me Jolly Ball on the phone. There are many balls. Christmas ball. There's more than one ball. Jolly Ball, Molly Ball. How many different balls are there? Jameson. I put one in your rundown from Balsam fir. Is that makes sense? Oh, that's rich. Oh, I didn't see it on their side. I just got a big order in from them. You did? Yeah. They have good. They have good balls. I saw some balls on social media. I was looking to buy them. It was like Amazon. They are. But they were $120, but they look cheap. I know. See, these don't look cheap. I know. That's why I wanted the Holly Balls. They are all the ones on Holly Ball that didn't come are perfect. Perfect. I will tell you this. When you eventually get your balls, you have to inflate them fully. Like to the point where you're scared where you think they might pop. But it takes all the little wrinkle out, which is what makes them look so real. I'm looking at a competitor. Those don't look good. Funboy has a great product. Funboy doesn't look as good as Holly Balls. It looks like a circus ball. I'm also wondering at night in the cold, do they shrink a little? And then in the sun, do they swell? And then they swell. And then they swell. Well, San Francisco, mine are in bright sun in the morning. Sorry, in the afternoon. Do they get sunburned? Do they get sunburned balls? Pottery Barn makes them. Oh, I think those are the, I think Pottery Barn sells the Holly Balls. Holly Balls. Are you serious? How much are they? Thank you. You're right. Yeah, it is. They've kind of cornered the market on balls. They really have. Well, I'm, this is like, they need to be, we should make our own balls. Were you sure? Oh, Jeff Lewis merch? Yeah. We'll sell it on Jeff Lewis merch. And they're small. And there's, and they're misshapen. There are small ones. They're all, there are small balls available. Well, they need to be deflated in small balls. And we should mention these balls came to us because Elise's balls were roaming around their neighborhood. Oh, they were. Loose balls. Were your balls better secure this year? My balls are better secure. You know what I did? I attached them. You have to tie them down. I have to tie them down. Yes, but because I have the, you know, what's the stuff to, you put the netting that the gardener puts over so the grass doesn't grow. And then you put little rocks. Yes. So you can't get through the net. So that was part of my problem. So I did put the stake through a little, but then I've also, I tied it to the tree. And I kind of like jammed them. So they, they kind of don't look quite as good as they did last year, but they're not going anywhere. I also put them back towards the house, instead of in the front, because now I have a couple of agave in the front. So it's like a different setup, but I think they're more secure is my point. Was last year, was that the year the balls blew away? Oh yeah. Did you lose all of your balls? I lost all my balls. And you had to buy new ones. Every ball. No, no, the neighbors brought back two or three of them. No, the neighbors brought back two, two different people. And then one I found I was on a run and I was like, oh my God, there's my ball. Oh, there's my ball. There's someone's driveway. I was like, there's my ball. You could have caused it. Did you pick it up and run back with it? I picked it up and I ran back with it. San Francisco has a lot of hills. I'm just seeing that picture of balls rolling down the hill. Were there three balls total? There were, but now I've got five. Yeah. And then I do have the minis that I haven't hung them from the tree. I haven't had time, but that's what I like to do. When are you going to do it after Christmas? I'm thinking like 27th, 28th. That's what I'm going to have time to do it. Are you using a bicycle pump? What are you? No, it comes with a pump. No. An electric pump or a... Holly Balls, they have thought of everything. No, electric. Except giving them to you. Oh, they're electric. You plug the thing in, it comes with a little knob that you stick in the thing. Well, I want some now. A pointy knob that you stick in the ball and then it blows up. It's a very efficient product. It's very well-meaning. Oh, I want a few now. Yeah, you should. We'll see if you could add to your boss' It already came. My order's the end. Did you get a tree from there? I did not. I already had a tree. I already had five trees because, you know, I just have too many storages. So I put them all up. And I don't need another tree, but I wanted some... Well, I did this garland and then CJ was disappointed that down the rail length staircase, it didn't have lights. So it was not good enough. And so that was a thing. So then I had to order from them. I would be disappointed. Yeah. And but I didn't use theirs because it came too late. They did take a little bit. It took some time. So I had another one that he loved more that's up now, which as I was telling Kean last night, I'm a little overstimulated in my own home. I leaned into, well, CJ is like, he's got opinions now, you know. And I thought he was kind of over it because he's 15, but he's not quite. He wanted that house doing Christmas. And so since his team color is red and black, he wanted to incorporate red this year. So I said, okay, I'm usually a neutral metallic person. I love silver, gold, neutral tones. I've got red. I've got red points. It says I've got red. There is red going on in my house. I have never. And he looks to be yesterday and he's like, Mommy, we've never had red before. He's so happy because it's such a happy, it feels so happy in there. And I'm so overstimulated. It doesn't look like a haunted house with all the red. No, look, my tree is not red, red, red. I just have these big kind of points. A red tree? Like red? No, I didn't do red balls on the tree. But I have these big red, like large points that is kind of like maybe like 10 of them. So it peaks a little red. But the garland, this garland he fell in love with down the staircase. Is red? It's got red balls on it. So I had to balance it. I was so stressed out yesterday. I went about these gold things because I was like, I had to balance it. Play down the red. And I played down the red. And I literally by hand went through and affixed all of this new gold to kind of balance it out. I want to see pictures. We saw pictures. That we do. She has good taste. I'm so stressed out. I was so stressed out. This is the thing. Like Christmas is for kids. Like it is. And so sometimes your house winds up looking. Oh, it is. And we got to do it. And he loves it. And he even told me, I said, well, where do you want to go on vacation? Because we were going to do a last minute vacation next week. And he looked when he goes, mommy, I just love the way the house looks so much. If we go anywhere and it's not decorated good like this, I don't want to go. I was like, oh. When you are winning as a mom. So I never heard anything like that. I go hide in my room. Well, you won't even hang the balls on the tree. I literally go hide in my room, which is neutral tones. And then the upstairs den, I did in all neutral tones with like a white tree. So that's my room that I can just go. But he gets so happy. And he's just like, I don't want to go anywhere if they don't have the decorations like this. Can you help Doug with his tree? Because he has, it has no personality whatsoever. Beautiful. It looks like, no, it looks like a bank or post office. Both places you respect and admire. So I will say it did make me laugh when he told me that you said it looked like the lobby of a bank. But I felt very cozy. I walked in and went Monday. And there was a lovely Christmas music playing that was the same mix that I or similar to what I listened to. Is it Luded Christmas album? Luded Christmas album. Yeah. And the lights were on and the tree was warm and the little mini tree. It feels very cozy and everything. I miss his old decorations and I miss his bubble lights. But you know what? Something for you to look forward to next year. But you don't like the reeds outside? It looks so lovely. I do like the reeds. I do want to talk to you about that after the break though. They look super pretty. They are. I have illegal Christmas lights from Canada. I did not put those up. Those look like bubble lights. What you afraid you're going to get a ticket or a rest? No, the house is going to burn now probably. That's more like it. Yeah. But that's why I didn't do any. This year my tree is very, very simple to match the rest of my house because the tree itself is sort of just shaping. It's too simple. I like it. Generic. You would hate it. Your honor. How does it feel to face the storm head on? Go beyond the map. Drive into the extreme. Or win a Ford Explorer. Test drive won before the end of May and you could win one. Now how would that feel? Search win a Ford Explorer. Ready, set, Ford. T's and C's apply 25 plus only. See ford.co.uk for details. Also more bad news. You just started a new podcast. Right, Alyssa? Yes, I did. You know what? I did not see that. And it's who is she? It's your first job. It's the first job since Clueless, right? It's the first job since Clueless. Yeah. So happy to get back out there. So, okay. So explain this podcast. Okay. It's called Killer Thriller and it is on iHeart Radio and it is under the umbrella of TJ Holmes and Amy Robach. And it is a true crime podcast where I will be interviewing the people that make the films and TV shows that are based on true crimes. So for example, I just did the first one and I interviewed Mandy Matney and Liz Farrell, who are the podcaster journalists who broke the Murdock murders story. And the Hulu series Murdock, Murder in the Family, Mandy is one of the executive producers of that. So it's from a new perspective of talking about how you approach it. How to get away with it. How it is the creative process of bringing those things to the screen. Says real stories and portrayals of the most talked about cases of murder, kidnappings, sex, cults and fraud. Yep. Great for the holidays. So are you going to be in there? Happy holidays, guys. Yes, like my really nice. Happy holidays. No. Oh, go ahead. I was going to say, I just don't, Peggy was like a crime expert. I was just about to ask. Well, I'm not a crime expert. I'm just obsessed with these shows. So I, we've been trying to do something for like a year or two. Amy, like I've been trying to figure out what would be a good podcast for me. And it was always sort of, we were thinking things more like the nineties or comedies or nineties villains or something. And, you know, Amy, Amy Sugarman will text me and say, do you like so and so? And I'll be like, do you want me to like so and so? I could, I could like that. And then she just said, are you into true crime? And I was like, I am obsessed with these shows. Like I, I watch them incessantly. And then she's like, okay, I got the thing for us. Let me just tell you how it went down. She calls you, she says, are you into true crime? And you said, well, how much is it paying? Well, she followed it up by saying, you know, here's what you'll pay. But look, I wouldn't do it for free, but you know, it's, it's, Do you like, like, do you, do you get like obsessed with the details and like dream about it? Because I did a crime, what do they call it? Pilot, right? Where I was like the host of when I had to study all those cases. And I'm a former criminal defense attorney. Yep. It all start clicking to me. I was all night long solving cases in my mind. I couldn't sleep all the details. And that show didn't go. And I said to myself, I was like, I'm almost like, I'm, of course, I would love to do the job, but I was almost relieved because I was like, How will I do this? Well, I have thought about it. Well, you're more qualified than she is. No, but it's from the creative perspective. So that's where I'm talking to them. It's storytelling. Yeah. But it does stick in you. My husband came upstairs the other night and he's like, he came upstairs and I was like, This is like really disturbing. He's like, how are you going to keep doing this? Well, at least now I'm getting paid to watch the things that you watch anyway. Oh, this is a really cool. That's actually a really good picture of you. It looks cool, right? Who is she? No, that's a hot picture of you. You tell him. So you got, you got new to this. You true to this. Am I correct? You've been in this TV. Am I correct that that's a photo from that funny shoot you did where you were like, Scorming? Exactly. We were making fun of her. Because I came here the next day after that photo shoot. No, that's a really good picture. She looks professional in that photo. She looks professional. Serious and professional. Serious and professional. But you get it and it's inside the TV, right? Which is. And it has like a vibe of, it's very clever. Now I like it. Super clever. I didn't make it up. I didn't make it up. No, we know you didn't. And she's in the TV. So can you ask a question for me on your show? I mean, without a doubt. I want to know, I would love to know the thought behind how they get you like so addicted to where, you know, when I was pregnant with CJ, snapped was my show, honey. Yeah. That snapped? I mean, with the women snapping and killing the husbands and curls would be like, nah, do you need to tell me something? I don't know if it was my hormones or what. I could not stop watching snap. But this isn't being. No, you can't. I couldn't. I think it's different for everyone, but well, maybe not. But for me, I feel like I am so, I am obsessed with understanding human behavior and how we can get to these places and how people do the things they do. Because really, everybody's capable of a multitude of good and bad. A multitude of sins. And a case study right there. And I think it's like, it's a little bit of, oh god. So for example, I remember when my mom was in the hospital having surgery for cancer, her cancer. And I was, well, I was also drinking wine in the stairwell in between over the night. But I was reading the Goldfinch. Did anybody remember this book, The Goldfinch? It is like a dark book. And I was like, oh, at least I'm not living the Goldfinch. You know what I mean? So there's a part of it. We don't know the reference. So here, okay. No idea. Wrong audience. I didn't say that too. Wrong audience. No, I didn't read, but I didn't know that one. It's gonna go look it up. Yeah, but it's Goldfinch. Something to be said, sometimes you're standing on a balcony and you're like, wow, all I have to do is jump or I could follow it. Right, how yes. But you don't. And so there is something about watching other people who go through that. Yes. Who do make the turn. Who do snap. Who do flip. That makes you feel better and more secure about yourself. Correct. It's a fictional story about a boy who survives a bombing that kills his mother. And he steals a small famous painting leading him into a world of art, grief, and crime. That's so neat. Yes. But thank god we don't live. It is. And that was a famous, famous book, like a very successful book. Can I? Well, okay, we'll take your word for it. But it's really long, so I don't know if you'll get it right. Jeff ain't reading. They should make a movie. But they did make a movie. That's it. I'm like, don't watch it. You guys, I have to tell you though, one time I was watching snapped and literally when it came on, they started covering the house and I was like, I've been in this house. Stop it. Are you kidding? No. I, and I'm not going to say anything more. Yes you are. No, I mean, I'm not going to tell the names, but I'm saying, I knew I had been in the house. I knew I had been there. And then the person, the woman, it started looking familiar. And I couldn't think of it. It took me days. And then I realized I did. No, I knew I had been in that house with someone. I knew a relative of those people. Stop it. I had been in that house where she murdered her husband just over there. Just over there. Yes. Where she murdered her. And I knew them. They were there. They were, I knew, I was like, this is crazy. See, this is what I'm saying. We are that close to these things, right? Like you think, oh, this is an anomaly. Somebody who does something like this. It's like, but I knew I had been in there. And that's where the murder. It was a middle ball. Because I could keep. We were making a pansomila salad and and then she sliced the throat and sprinkled the truffle salt in the wound. Put a sultry top store. But your honor, when you watch things like that, because like, I very much, sometimes when you watch this snap, I sometimes like, I get it. That guy was an asshole. Oh, yes. I can see why you killed him. But that's what that was. What? Yeah. Yeah. Yes. And we should say snapped is solely about women killing their partners. Exactly. Exactly. Some of them deserve it. But I'll tell you the other good one that'll get you and you can learn from this one, the first 48. What's that? Y'all ain't seen the first 48? Never heard of it. No. The first 48 is a big crime show about how every crime you have 48 hours to dig up as much facts and evidence you can. Detectives know that in the first 48. That's the critical moment after a crime. So it's them bringing in the people into, you know, interrogating them. It's fascinating. And you literally see them in interrogation and it teach. Well, I mean, I'm a criminal defense attorney, but it says that three times already. How much people say? Did I say it? Who is she? No. It's okay. She's a 90s bombshell. I don't mean it like that. I meant it that from the perspective that I'm looking at it. I can't believe how many people talk still to this day, get into interrogation rooms and they talk. They spell. They don't know to shut up. It's crazy. I want to continue this. So is this on the same network as Goldfinch? I don't know. I don't know. But I since you are a criminal defense attorney. Don't stop because I'm not handling. I want you. I'm just wondering if you could give us advice on how to get away with a crime. What we should and should not do. How to get away with murder. Well, that could be a great show. Thanks. Somebody should write this. Serious. That is a good idea. Yeah. Get me ABC. That was a great show. That was so good. How long did that go? That show? How do you go for you? Like 10? No, like eight. I don't think I ever watched it. Patrick developed that. I never watched it. Oh, it's a good one. Yeah. It's a good one. Yeah. I like this first 48. Oh, no, you should check it out. It is riveting. And I'm going to tell you it was so crazy because when we used to live in Cincinnati, everywhere the crimes would be like, I would be like, oh, hell, I was just over there the other day. Oh, hell, that's where that story is. It would be certain cities. It's fascinating. You have to see it. And the amount that people go in there and tell like, you would never think like, how do you not have time to shut up? Because they don't have time to think about, oh, I shouldn't say. It's like they're just they're just saying what happened because they don't have the time to say, oh, wait a second. They're talking and all like, it's crazy that they can do a whole show of what they're getting people to admit. And to say, when you know, as soon as you go in there, you're supposed to say, I want to see my lawyer. I want to talk to my lawyer. OK, so that's the first thing that chumps should say. Just get a lawyer. I want to talk to my lawyer. Yes, I'd like to talk to my lawyer. Don't do nothing else and don't say nothing else. Don't say anything. Not a word. Yep. Because right now chumps are committing crimes. Dougie. Yeah. So let me ask you the other day, you said you had to go home and you had you had allotted a couple hours in the day because you were going to replace batteries. Were those all of your wreaths? Yes. See, I want the wreaths in my window of the new house, but I don't want to change those batteries. Well, good for that's lucky for you because I my wreaths are old and so they are they deplete the battery quickly. Yeah. And you know, the new ones are much lighter. They use, I think, AA batteries. I do. And those will last a long time. My wreaths use D batteries when I fill that thing at 17 pounds. And that's that's expensive. A lot of deep batteries. Yeah. Yeah. So that's why a lot of and I would have to replace them midway through the season. There's never enough D. No, is it true that you'll be taking your tree down very quickly? Like this weekend? I well, yes. In fact, though, I may have enlisted the help of Key and because I know I told you I have to saw it in half to get it off. Yeah. Why are you taking it down? Because when I return home, it will be New Year's and I'm somebody I don't want to walk into the past. I feel that. I feel that. You take your tree down before New Year every if I'm gone. If I'm not going to be home to enjoy it. But if you're home, you take it down. Yes. The latest I've ever had my tree is until January 6th, the 12th day of Christmas. If I'm going to be home every night. Right. If not, I mean, that is my birthday. So you're taking it down this weekend. Maybe Sunday Monday. You said Key is going to come over and help you. Yeah, I think Key may help me. That's not it in half. Even after you were so rude to him and Annie last night. Was I? Yes. Oh, wait, you were? Yeah, me and Key were standing there and we were like so excited to be enjoying our evening. At Sutton Strux party. Okay. Yes. And you were like, it is so rude that you guys are here. No. And I go, well Sutton saw me and she was so excited to see me. And you were like, she was being fake. Well, instead of that. Wow, God. I wish. I did say that. I did say that. I was like, should I leave you? He goes, well, you're already here. Oh my goodness. Instead of. Well, you're already here. Instead of leaving with my closing line of that exchange, why don't we talk about the preceding part, which is that you said. Doug's turning red, everybody. She didn't invite us. We weren't, we didn't know we were coming. She didn't invite us. Jeff at the last minute said, come along. And I said, oh, and you said, is that bad? I said, well, that's poor form. That's not what happened. That is what happened. No, it's not what happened at all. So Annie was going. That's not what happened. That's the exact exchange we had. No, but I'm saying that. No, that's not true. I didn't, I didn't bring them uninvited. I mean, I had talked to Sutton and I told her that Shane was already going with Brogan because he was invited. I was already bringing Michael back and Annie was having a rough day. So I said, oh my gosh, you should come to this party with us. Let me just text Sutton. And I actually called Sutton. And I said, you know, Keen and Annie from the show, she goes, I love them. I would love them for them to come. Text me their names and I'll put them on the list. So why? That was proper. That's what you booked them. Why did you say to me we weren't invited? I didn't know I was going to come. Because we were kind of under the impression we were like a plus five. So, but you're also not her security. Of course I'm not her security. I'm not making any claims on her. Were you going around asking other guests whether they could be there or not? Are you showing me your invite? Who's plus one are you? Who are you? You? No, but it was also because I think it started because you were something about what you were wearing. You weren't. Oh yeah. Why didn't you want them there? Poor job issues. Oh, dumb. What's your beef? Yeah, what? Do you have beef with Keen and Annie? I haven't any. Because you have no problem when you need to take your tree down. But then when he shows up at a party, what are you doing here? Who do you know where to invite at? Just in case you're listening, none of this is true. Thanks for listening. If you want more of this, listen to Jeff Lewis' live every weekday on SiriusXM, as well as the Jeff Lewis channel, exclusively on the SiriusXM app.