#238 - DON'T PODCAST ON SALVIA

We've been leaving the we've been leaving the clap sinks in the videos lately and it's so funny how like How out of sync we are every single time we're so bad It's the ping it's the ping it is it is what dude it is absolutely the pain. I mean like so I can't count a second dude, it's got to be more it is substantial The amount of ping between swag or not It is about an entire In a tire world worth of distance between us all right hold on all right We're gonna do it swagger when I say clap. I want you to clap. I want to see how delayed it is. Okay. All right clap That's just his brain then That was crazy no that took a while dude you can you can fuck it you can do a lot of stuff in between that True you can bust a big fucking load you can watch like an entire tick tock in the time It's like 10% on gamer Game or something to do the game or some stat GGU's code goons for 10% off your order grams of grandmine's ashes Or some crusader if you wish also very very yummy very yummy both of them are yummy Hey, you want to hear a diabolical combo mix them together and see what you get And explode it do that oh Friday They also if you don't like caffeine if you're like me and you don't drink caffeine their AFK stuff banging by the way Just got some more of the AFK Things in from gamer sups Basically sleep aid So you take yeah, you take the the the regular caffeine stuff get fucking cracked and then the AFK to chill out at the end of the day It's like drugs, but they they don't kill you I don't like drugs, but very fun and good for you fun and good for you anyways Try them out and if you don't and if you and if you want to lift some weights we also have it creatine Yes, there is infinite There's gamers a gamer's house product for you go fucking buy something code goons Come back to Vegas All right before We get into anything I think we the goons Generated elephant in the room yeah minus McNasty by the way because two hours Guess what? Could lard ass be up to today Stay tuned he'll be here and he'll tell you dude two hours ago. We're like ready to start the podcast Anyway, all right, we're gonna address the big computer generated elephant in the room before we do anything else There was a thumbnail Uploaded on the podcast channel on YouTube That none of the goons Or even our management approved our editor simply did not have assets and For some weird reason chose that as the best course of action not sure what the thought process is You know consider we're pretty outspoken about our feelings on AI Biggest problem with with it for us personally We actively pay people to make our thumbnails So we will continue doing that going forward Uh-huh We have spoke to the person in question. They understand the problem. They have Made a promise that it will not happen again as well as we are giving them as many assets as they could possibly need So this never happens again, but long story short We want to apologize for that that we don't like the usage of AI We were all pretty fucking pissed Coming out without our knowledge Obviously, you know, we we all don't like it and then it also makes us look like huge hypocrites to then use AI in the thumbnail honor podcast so Just wanted the podcast So huge apologies, it'll never happen again We're gonna have every single thumbnail like approved before it goes out We have a bunch of assets for our artists to work with now So then they can never use a lack of access as an excuse so again, sorry sorry to Rise with horrible fucking horrible horrible AI bullshit Very AI A few hours after I I just saw that there was I was like alright Maybe just some generative Phil no something like that. I think right now It was a rare it was a rare goons L and it'll never happen again. Yes, we will Yeah We just did mr. Beats fucking well project somewhere So that we get a shit we can have a shitty a whole thumbnail Yeah, well absolutely not happen again We will continue personally making sure artists are behind our work and our creativity and all of that And we apologize and we'll move on so now that that is out of the way I don't think we have anything else prepped out. Yeah Really Interesting week which has been just Working working hard Hell yeah, I got some slop that I found but I don't I like really it might be too early in the episode So I will wait for me to make nasty maybe to bring this slap out We could it's kind of fun long story for I just found a thread of people talking about their salvia trips. Oh Oh Yeah, yeah, the adivinorum right you're talking about the Fucking it's like the smoke shop like on the beach will sell you salvia instead of weed And they'll tell you it's exactly like we need you smoke it and turn to a bug and get shredded by lawn mower for Dude, it's like people have like life-changing experiments on it and not like a Like or it's like yeah, I experienced ego death like I can like go things that held me back like no, it's like You're like I forgive my dad when you have salvia you're like I don't have a dad and I have it for thousands of years Dude, I think the funniest one will go through them all after but the funniest one I saw is like this guy tripped and he spent like for obviously the trip is short of salvia I'm not I don't know a ton about salvia I know the trip is typically supposed to be like it won't like five to ten five the fifteen minutes and that's with our sober Frame of reference. So yes, yes, yes when you smoke it when you die late And then you know what what is actually really 15 minutes is actually 15,000 years as a clam Yeah, apparently the one the first one I saw that that opened me to the thread was somebody Spent 20 years as a perspective of a ceiling fan and like saw this entire family Yeah, and love each other and then fight and divorce and split up and the kids grew up and moved out They lived an entire lifetime watching this family do stuff It makes you think like this is a very common trope in salvia trip reports Is that you turn into like an inanimate object or some sort of bug and Like some horrible fuck shit happens to you or like you you observe It's It's so fucking interesting To people listening It comes Dude Suck though if they like turned on the fan and went on vacation for a while busy and you're just looking at Three weeks of spinning you're just dust is collecting on your blades Honey the salvia fan in the living room was left on for 20 days and 20 nights Every single object we owned is if there was a person tripping on salvia inhabiting it Stuff so much better Crazy theory dude. What if every object ever is just somebody tripping on salvia and when those objects Finally break it's this person leaving their salvia trip and now your objects useless so it's prop hunt Crash your car Trapped in your car Crash your car now to release the release releases trip Dude, I'm pretty sure Comes comes in like stages like you can get like salvia x1 It's just like the common doses salvia and then they have like more Concentrated forms of salvia where like you can have like salvia x like 100 or like x80 Which is like God it's like a bond you're bong word That's a hundred times the common doses salvia which is already pretty fucked up dude that'd be correct I like watching the outside perspective though because like you'll just see somebody like a middle of their trip Get up and just try to go on a fucking adventure, but they're like drooling and fently They're like a newborn baby deer Yeah, I'm like really just trying to maneuver You know you know internet common etiquette don't you? No, he's a youtuber old head of youtuber Eric. Yeah, I don't know. Really really honest some stuff He had a lot of early videos um A series actually videos one was called gardening on salvia. Oh man Did you probably just start eating the mud another one was called driving on salvia? And the entire the entire joke that's not good as he goes. Okay. Here's what you do You know, he's like in his driver's seat of his core. He's like so here's what you do You like you know you get the car, you know you put your keys in the ignition Uh, you get your salvia and then he rips his bowl of salvia and then he goes and then and then you and then And then he's just like comatose for like 10 15 minutes and he comes too like And that's how you do it and then he gets out of his car It's like the joke is that you can't do anything on salvia because you just you fucking slump over But what if he did do something on salvia? What if he did try to operate the money? He was in there with a person they wouldn't I really wouldn't let him but Either way the whole joke is that you can't do shit and then the gardening on salvia thing he hands like He's just gonna plant of he's gonna plant like a little like thing Like a blueberry bushy some shit or a flower and he just can't he rips his salvia and falls over They always be grown in like they got shot or something I would be groaning too if I were a ceiling fan for Fuck Sevens pretty rough I knew like getting excited for winter because you won't be used a bunch and then summer comes around. It's like No Please reverse me. Send me the other way. Fuck Anything if you ever met anyone who's done salvia or seen people do salvia No, no, I haven't I got a couple of stories from college. You're never done it myself, but I know a couple of people who have Really, yeah, really interesting if you all right. All right. Let's say you ripped salvia What what object what object would you want to be turned into for 20 years for 20 years? Probably a height like yeah Dude a really high girl, but that's not gonna age well for a dude like A dildo will get used for like A few years and then they get all like dried out and gross and stuff They're gonna be thrown out and then you're just gonna be fucking sitting in a garage patch for like 15 years just Yeah, and just having memories of your you know your old lady's snatch that you had once where I would believe it's gonna be sad. Yeah Well, I want to be something that like gets around there's always seeing you like a tumbleweed Okay, that's not a bad one. Yeah, tumbleweed or like you hate that Like a spank of dust floating in the wind I want to be I want to be the bull that's on wall street that gets his nuts rubbed Oh That thing what the fuck so funny that entire bull is like it's like, you know when copper gets that or whatever brass I don't know what it's made of it gets all dark and gross dude The asshole and balls look like they just got put on yesterday. They are so shiny because everybody be touching that Dude, that's rad that guy just sits there and just gets his fucking ass rubbed man. What's better than that? That's that's my choice. Isn't there another like an animate statue in france who has like a big They rub his cock in his nose and they kiss his lips Well, they tried to make it they try to look a fertility guy Well, I don't think it's supposed to be his cock. I think from what I remember it was actually supposed to be like pleated trousers But like yeah, there's a plate is massive and it's his cock and everyone just rubs his plate But it's actually his peanuts when they Yo girl keep on rubbing on my plate. Yeah rub my fucking pleats I got two pleats use both hands on my double pleated trousers I'd be crazy on the double pleat. I need a girl to finger my cleat I think I think that's a good ass point. It's great for I think I'd be like I think I'd be like a puddle You'd be a puddle Yeah, because then you could evaporate would you be like a puddle with a little bit of like slick grease on time? a little bit of no, I think I'd be like like like like a doodoo stinky puddle in like new york Right, because it would you know, I would tell the story I'd evaporate. I'd have my time. I'd have my fun in the big city and then you know A car comes you can get all over a couple of homeless people. I might yeah, I might be on a biker I might be on a guy. I might be I could be wherever, you know, that's that's the mystery of it all But eventually I'll evaporate I'll turn into a cloud and go wow here's new york. Oh, no. I'm over Why would be the best thing to be in the as a salvia experience? I mean eventually you come back down you end up in the ocean you're hanging old fucking turtles Maybe you end up yeah, you end up in a person or you end up like in the bladder and then you go Yeah, you do that to the toilet peanuts. Maybe they pissed their fleet You you would you might end up as a hurricane bro. Can you back? Crazy would feel to be a hurricane Fuck a man. Fuck florida beat the shit out of florida. Yeah, I'm going You're cooked. I'm coming after you You know, you could be a dog. Yeah, you could just be an absolute animal in that thing. It'd be cool Or you might just end up as like diarrhea. So You're really flipping a coin you're really gambling every time you take shambles you're big gambling You could end up sitting in a guy septic tank for like three years before he pumps you out of it. Yeah, I should have truly could be stuck now I had a friend Try salvia in Crallage and their experience was very similar to the to the quintessential salvia experience But they basically ripped the bong Filled with salvia. I'm not sure what exactly the the dosage was But she passed out on the bed that she was lying on And you know came out of it like maybe 20 minutes later walked into the room. We're all smoking pipe And we're like, oh, hey, what's going on? How was your trip and she looked horrified? Why does a ghost and she started to explain that When she started tripping she materialized as a house She was a house like a two-story a two-story like middle-class american home And okay around her Were a bunch of other two-story american homes and she was in a red and yellow universe Of these homes. Damn that were on a conveyor belt. They were all on a giant conveyor belt and Every so often this conveyor belt would move and deposit a giant house into this huge black hole that would fall forever And she couldn't move because she was a house And so she just kept going and going and going and then eventually it was her turn to fall into the dark hole And she didn't want to and she was like, I don't want to be a house anymore I don't want to be a house anymore And then she fell into the hole and then she Got out of her trip and then came in and talked to us about it. Dude, you know, it's crazy. There's like a near identical one That's a french fry This guy smoked salvia outside of mcdonald's and then went in for food tripped in the bathroom and transcended into a conveyor belt as a 2d french fry There was a voice telling the whole time that this is how it always was and always Towards the end of the conveyor belt where he got cut and became human again Yeah, it's pretty it's pretty screwed up Hey, welcome back mcdonald's I'm done being fed. Here is what you were doing. I was eating a big old fucking fish I went out caught a fish cooked it ate it No you didn't Sam and race and zucchini Yeah Man, good order. Um, are you recording talking about salvia strips? Or let's clamp We'll clap. Let's clap for you being bank. Clap number two three two one There you go have fun. I think a bug just came in your room Yeah, we're just talking about salvia mcdonald's. You just talk about some salvia Salvia, I knew a kid in high school that tried that He uh It was a long time ago I think he just like got in like a fight with his brother or somewhere his cousin or some shit Like he just started like throwing blows and then he like never did it again after that He just freaked out and punched someone. Yeah Because we're like we're having like I'm reading way different ones because like there's K2 is K2 is not salvia. That is a whole other thing K2 was like K2 weed Then freaks you You're not gonna be able to punch anybody on salvia. You're gonna become a fist for 20 years. Oh, it was probably definitely kate I remember that was like kind of popular I don't know what is with 20 years either by the way because there's another story here It's from big slime 2.0 He said There's one of his buddies Experience being a stop sign and saw people drive by for 20 plus years Watching the same people slowly aging and moving in and out of the neighborhood What is it with being prop hunt? I don't understand. I don't know why it makes you like it's like the Literally a pram plant drug. Why does salvia? Actually, I think I've heard like watch like tick tocks talk about salvia And then it kind of just makes you feel like you've lived a whole another life For like eight minutes. Like yeah, I mean like I wonder how many years an object Interesting. I wonder how many of these are true though because I'm sure a lot of people there might also be like a cognitive bias too Right where you hear about people getting Turned into specific objects like you hear people being turned into objects all the time when they take salvia So you're already going into Your salvia trip with this like preconceived notion that you'll probably be turned into an object so I feel like it almost be like a uh, you know a A typical pattern of thinking you're gonna be an item so you become an item tell somebody else They're gonna be an item and then they just keep keep becoming fucking items. There might be a psychological component to it But reading up on this Salvia operates as a hallucinogenic like psychedelic a completely different way than something like lsd or or shrooms would it says here um through the Oxford treatment center that salvia salvia divinorum By is Kaiser's intense dissociative effects including the sensation of becoming a thing like a couch chair or object because it's active ingredients salva norin a acts specifically on kappa opioid receptors in the brain rather than through serotonin receptors this interaction Particularly in the classroom of the brain Manages body awareness and disrupts the user's sense of self and reality Interesting so the brain struggles to a two-percentary input leading to a loss of awareness of being a human And instead you your perception blends into your environment So there's actually a study of a white room torture that showed that that has a similar effect on human beings There is a there's a guy kept in white room torture for eight months Um for context for those that don't know what white room torture is when you like you watch a bunch of football And you drink a lot of beer and you uh, you like have like white bread with mayonnaise and They they keep you in an all-white room Everything is all white everyone's day every one the walls So it's what these rooms look like after sydney sweeney drops are only fans you get you get only white food You get no Like no sound nothing to stimulate you and the lights are left on 24 seven It's a literally just like being just completely white everything all the food water everything that comes to you Oh, man, you wouldn't be able to dance You can't do nothing You're not getting jazzy with base. You're not you're not doing nothing in there Yeah, even uh vsaas did a video of it actually That was for minefield, right? Yeah for minefield, but he only did it for three days and he was already completely losing his sense of sorry Thanks, man. I wasn't in the middle of talking Oh, yeah, he was like like he completely lost his like his sense of self and time and all these sorts of things, but there's a guy who was uh Who was in white room torture for like eight months? I think it was Um, and he ended up not even being like he kind of he literally forgot he was a person Uh, like had to do human related things He just kind of became like a stump in his head like he was nothing And he forgot that he had parents and even afterwards when he was like done white room torture He had no idea what his parents looked like like they showed him pictures of his parents and he did not know who those two people were like completely disassociated from like being a human and And all human emotions and feelings stuff like that just became like slug man But yeah salvia or white room torture, I guess I I would hit the salvia for sure Yeah, I rather than white room torture. I don't know. I don't know. I feel like I feel like salvia is a lot like dying You just don't know what the fuck is gonna happen after and that scares me I mean, but I'll see you make it like a Yeah, but yeah, you make it a silly story in the real world But yes, and their brain is 20 years is a fucking stop sign Or a cricket that's getting blended up by a fucking lawnmower for fucking 15 years It's not fun I've done it full time Uh, never got an entire life as an object But I did get stuck as some kind of wheel and the wheel sucked don't remember why it sucked But it was the worst What You just never go straight like come on man. I'm trying like you're just vibrating Oh, I need fucking hate yourself. You want to kill yourself. There's so many ever They're fucking yeah, there was so many funny stories in this thread Salvia's Salvia's fucking screwed up, but it isn't as screwed up as detour. Have you heard of detour? I don't know what that is. Oh, dude. This is a good one. So detour is a nightshade It's a flower and people will commonly Extremely poisonous, but with detour people will try to use it as a psychedelic And here's a big fucking fat PSA for every single person listening Never ever ever ever ever eat the Torah never eat the Torah never eat the flowers never eat the seeds Never eat the stems to the fuck away from the Torah People go like oh, it's a fucking it's it's it's a psychedelic. It's so much fun But it's it's really actually a fucking dissociative and and and a delirium hell yeah, it's a full-on delirium So it's not like you're dissociating from your body because most time you'll have a shroom Where you'll have like some acid and you'll always know you'll always be sober enough to know I took a drug I feel this way because i'm on drugs eventually i'm going to be off of the drug and i'm going to be normal and with the Torah There is none of that you don't even know that you're a person you don't know where you are You don't know that you consume the drug you don't know when you consume the drug You don't know what time it is scary and you'll never know what time it is and and the trip lasts for days Where you don't know yourself you're in constant delirium things are fucking coming out of the walls Uh, it is you should you should listen you should read those trip reports If you're looking at salvi you should look at the Torah because answered is fucking nightmare fuel Dude, that's wild. Well, that'd be like that's like the motherfuckers that do uh Like do drugs and just fucking like jump out of windows because they just forget that They are on drugs and don't yeah, there's no like consequence. There's no like some people get psychotic and they think i'm gonna Stuck like this forever. I'm in a trip forever and the only way to get out is to die Yeah, don't do that. Have a trip sitter. You gotta be very Very safe with psychedelics, especially if you're doing them alone because you don't know You don't know you don't know who's gonna. I feel like the only way I would do psychedelics is like ayahuasca with some fucking crazy native people You've never done shrooms. You're a-sing you jump right to no dude. I you would jump right to ayahuasca. Yeah, you know why not That's a thing. That's a thing. Listen somebody gives you a you know million dollars You're not you're not gonna be like well I should probably buy a Honda Civic first and then maybe an Audi and then I'll get a Ferrari You're just going to buy the fucking Ferrari. You know if I'm gonna do it I'm We're doing so so I'm not doing it or i'm doing it. So someone gave you like You know say someone gave you an oxycodone. You'd be like oh, we might as well. Just give me the heroin. Just give me the fucking needle Fucking we're talking in the context we're talking in the context of hallucinogenics And their potential healing properties. We're not talking about doing opium I I was just I was just very intense dude Yeah, I bet it's one of those things V-sauce Michael Yeah, he did do it. Isn't that what uh the one fucking musician did I think it's mike pausner who who did ayahuasca and then He took a van and walked across us Yeah, I think I took a pill on the B's Yeah, okay, dude. Yeah to show Avicii that he was cool. Yeah, I think it was right uh-huh I don't think Avicii thought it was really cool. I think he was very successful Yeah, he walked across us sold everything lived in a van walked across us and i'm pretty sure though I could be wrong, but I believe he mentioned it was from ayahuasca and he experienced like ego death and didn't care about money or anything else anymore It's weird. I'm pretty sure yeah With ayahuasca It's one of those things we have to have some sort of like I feel you need to have like a shrunk mental fortitude or maybe like a Shrung like sense of will Uh to to like absorb maybe some of the shit that you you see or experience Because otherwise you're going to see like some four-dimensional fucking montezuma. Has tech fucking demon who's gonna like Let me cut off one shot your whole existence sounds cool. Yeah, it's probably all right I would bring I would bring like a backwood with me ayahuasca trip and they just Smoked like a fat blunt with the demon. Yeah, just give it to the machine. I'll just be like, yo, dude I know I came here without your explicit permission, but you want to want to puff this shit? Here bro We'll smoke a fat one. I've only I've only ever done shrooms in answer So I can't have you like experience some sort of ego death doing it We're like some sort of healing properties or were you just kind of like I feel like bugs No, I never felt like bugs In in that way Um, I've had like really intense trips on acid like compounded with like concentrated wax like pen Like T. H. A. Okay, which I don't recommend don't fucking smoke weed during the middle of your acid trip It makes everything so much worse. If you're on acid smoking weed right now. I mean have a good trip I hope you're having a great time. I don't know why you're listening to this podcast But if you are I'm talking directly to you You might just made somebody freak the fuck out Take your skin off. I am talking to you. Take your skin off. Hey you take your skin off Fuck your dad It's so me to beef my dad's hairy asshole Um, yeah, I think I had a couple of experiences where I was like, you know Becoming one with the universe or whatever the hell, but I don't I don't take those experiences super seriously No, no, you probably shouldn't there's you're on drugs You're on drugs I mean It is it is a perspective shift at the time. It's been a long time since I've done psychedelics and acupacities So, oh, maybe I just like outgrew the lessons that he that he told me that we're all like interconnected and that we're all one and all that Should it's weird because when you're like on acid, so if I'm rambling, but you're on acid And then you're like, oh, what happens when I die? What goes on after you die and then you think and you're thinking you're like Well, what was I before I was born and you're thinking you're thinking you're like well I was nothing and I was nothing for billions of years and I didn't exist and then I snapped into existence so that when I go into that Non-existence, I'm going to snap back into existence again. This is all the cycle and that we're all we're all the same person experiencing the same thing through Through different sets of eyes Over all of space and time over all the galaxies in the universe. It's really fucking As a user. Yeah Like this is this is the dance what happens when you do what you fucking Do it in college Is that what you're thinking when you're on acid when we went to the zoo together? Was I an answer? I went to the zoo. I thought you're on acid or shrooms. I can't remember which one it was Wait, is was this was this the san diego zoo san diego zoo? Oh, I was just baked. I was unedible. Oh Who's on acid somebody there was no one was on acid there? I don't think I don't think you know how fucking frightened it would be to go To the shanty a go zoo on acid? That was why I was so fucking confused I remember somebody saying because we got because we got the giant bus to bring all of us It was what fucking I think they were still called goop All right Misfits and then me smitty john And I think up next it's red flair and his new band Oh my god. I'm back again I'm back in casino everybody's been Gonna bring new games gonna show you now New game party Find new dropping hits every week find the new slots 18 plus be gambler where at all That's right That was it And we all took the big ass bus there and I I can't remember who it was but they're like Oh, yeah, we just took a bunch of fucking ass and ready to go look at zoo animals I'm probably gonna freak out and I swear. I thought it was you but I guess I guess not no no I I don't even like going out in public at all That works. It freaks me out I'm gonna go look at the monkeys. I'll pick you guys I get too fucking tripped out go into a zoo sober looking at the monkeys being like Behind the cage or or hey Like how would you go to a zoo and you see a fucking capuchin monkey upside down beating his dick in front of everybody You think you think to yourself am I really free? Or is he really you paid to go watch a monkey whack his wiener off like yeah, you're definitely And it taught me a fucking lesson. It taught me a life lesson Yeah, I'm not as you know, even though I'm not in a cage. I'm still I'm still a slave to society Yeah, yeah, if you own an iPhone that's like I mean like level of being a slave to society pretty I can't hang upside down by my feet and jerk off Is that skill issue or is that it in public Just in general Yeah, okay, but what's stopping you from like just going to the forest like a monkey would finding a nice tree and being like Oh, yeah, this is this is a perfect place to me. I'm gonna be off like a vampire Hang upside down to jerk off I'd be most worried that you'd cause a little friendly fire and just take it to the bottom of the chin, you know Oh, shit even worse. You're gonna like you're gonna get it up your nose. It's like you're gonna be down Sure, you gotta you have to I feel like it would just kind of feel like having a boogie in your nose, but Just billions of sentient boogie You see that new game coming out of where your play is like a sperm in somebody's body I have I have looks fun. It looks interesting. No, yeah, that's gonna that's gonna do well on youtube Surely they won't get mad at that. I mean, it's a It's a Can we just take a second to appreciate how weird it is that if you have come like on your hand Look a glob of come on your hand that you can't feel the like any movement Yeah, I mean Have you been looking at your have you been looking at your come under the microscope by the way? Um, I have I did it. I did it once Which was good. I don't know if I ever did it again. I'm pretty sure I never did it again I did it one disappointing results or no I okay, so Let's just break this down. I don't even touch done this during the playing game This was yeah, I think this was in a CS session Where you're like boys. I've been looking at my come under a microscope Nice spoilers I got John you late no, bro I'll break that one down if you if a guy named jank jerks off and comes he E-gene If a guy named john jerks off and come he e-gene I'm gonna e-docs your entire name If you don't move on from that I'm or oscillating Uh, what was I saying? Oh, right? I got a microscope because I am a scientifically minded person and I care about like looking at the world and understanding the world And I thought to myself well What could I put under a microscope that I just bought for 200 dollars for no discernible real reason because I was big Well, I decided to check my fertility. How how good are my swimmers swimming? You know, how was the result if there's one thing that you gotta do as a man It's know that your little guys can swim, you know, they can make it to the to the thing to the egg Where wherever You know and so wherever there wherever their journey takes them sewage. So so you know jerk off as I do and Have the come then you put the come on a slide and then you did you add a little uh You add like a top part like a like a little clear like uh, uh, Legs, you know square And to put it all down and you squish you you squish you all have six grade biology class. We know Okay, yeah, but you didn't come on the slide. Oh, that's true. Yeah, I forgot Yeah And then and then I looked at it do do on it It took me a good it took me a good like Five minutes to find the perfect like focal length to see like what was there? I've seen a bunch of bubbles going. Uh-oh. I don't see any come I don't see any sperm where the fuck's my sperm at likes And and and then I find out that you have to go on the the the highest setting Of magnification and like play around with the light and the focus and then boom all my little guys were going Little little little Some you could see them you look at your own kids. I Half of my perspective I was really high and it was really strange Because I was looking at him going like that's a president dancing doctor dancing That was might be a serial killer that one is a good guy. That was a bad guy and you're just thinking to yourself like These are all like potential like human lives And I'm literally like looking at that'll never have a chance But I'm also thinking to myself or they fucked up and so I had to like Look online and get like a sperm morphology chart So I can like look at the head and the and the midsection and the tail to make sure that You know, I didn't have any mutants going around or anything. Everybody here's the thing We had we had a couple. Yeah, I think it's about the the population of those if the population of those is too high That's where you start to worry. We had a couple of flatty flat heads They were like going in circles Bumped into your balls a few times like like ping pong We had a couple of swimming circles. We had a couple that were just straight up dead not moving at all and then The vast I'm sorry. That's so The vast majority of them were like swimming pretty straight. They were just trying to figure it out. They were okay It was okay But I was really worried because this I have like 10 fleshiers of chronic marijuana abuse under my belt. Yeah, literally So I'm thinking to myself Well, shit, my kids should gotta be fucking they gotta totally be Unbelievably Completely high But somehow there was an entire lazy boy in this I think I gave them I think I gave them the munchies because some of them were like looking for shit They were they were looking everywhere. They're hungry here. Look at yeah, they're looking for snacks They're looking for crumbs hoping that there's like random random food on the I don't recommend that you guys get baked and Look at my own sperm. It's a little it's a little harrowing a little harrowing I think I think you could just do that without the microscope. It's fucking Ripped and stereo coming your hand But hold on you know how we all have iFloaters, right? We like you you look at this guy and you have an iFloater Those are microscopic proteins in your eyes is catching the light So if you took your sperm and you rubbed it in your eyes and looked at this guy, would you see the sperm? No, probably not it probably needs to be in the area where the floaters are if you're if you're if you're for your eye If you were at home if you're a scientist at home test this hypothesis at your own peril Can you imagine them just flooding your vision? You're just like look at my sky There's like billions of little just Just birds everywhere. Yeah, it's our freaking out. I don't think I like they look like tadepools Yeah, yeah, I've seen it come It's crazy. Do you guys talk about hawk 2 as pussy yet? What no, we're not We're not we're not doing that. What is this? We're not doing right. It was fans or something. She started only fans. I'm like, uh, yeah Park to why is she actually gonna spit on anything? I don't know. I feel like That's what the people want Oh my god, fat cat face Oh, I think it's morpheus morpheus His name is No, I'm a fucking name. Are you guys ugly ass? I did shave him Got him ready for the winter or what? That was a fucked up looking cat It's really mean bro I mean like in a cute way though It's like when you see a dance kid, you're like, oh Dude I wonder if those cats are like are those cats like the equivalent of like plugs where they're like not supposed to exist But like breeding Being is an exotic sure he did just pull my mask down. I don't know if you saw anything No, no, you could not at all. All right. Okay. Double check that editor, please. Yeah editor editor Double check that Did you get did you get scratched in the eyeball? No, it was close. Watch you lose your eyeball live It was actually Extremely close. I don't meet you. Oh, I or what is the What is the cat's parasite? That's uh, talk so far Yeah, and oh endometriosis is a disease of ladies Utteries. Oh, yeah, that's our uterus disease. Yeah, where you like can't have kids and there's like, what is it? Paul up something or something. They're all they complain about it a lot blah blah blah blah my endometribe I don't know. I don't know. Yeah I'm hungry lady. I'm hungry. Okay. Talk to me. I can After I died, I don't mean to use his turkey sandwich. I don't know something. All right, something something. Um All right, she was nagging I'll get to it later That's crazy the four dude podcast Poor guys. Yeah, we're guys just talking about stuff. Yeah, we need we need to throw a clam on here once So I we have never had a woman on the front. What clam on here once Yeah, we got a Yeah, let's chuck a clam live Fucking sausage on your bucket We've never had a woman on the podcast. I just realized that Do you know who would be a good you know, it'd be a good guest a good female guest pasta Oh, yeah pasta would be great. She's funny. He's fucking hilarious. We could have kaley uh Oh, yeah Crusaders funniest fuckers. There's there's I can count at least three woman I don't think I know anymore though Is she alive? Is do you think she's a fan of the show? obama The four shell obama He said isn't didn't he write a song? mobama obama Oh fucking speaking of we wrote a song Oh, and it took only an hour and it's finally over the course of a decade It's yeah, we are really close to a black hole though. So we wrote it in an hour, but for like everyone else. It was like two years Yeah, so we took salvia, right and we actually wrote us in an hour, but it felt like it took us since december of 2024 I was like I was a microphone the last 20 years. I didn't know what was going on We did it 10 seconds a day over the course of 600 a days 600 a day 600 a day Probably sometime like Maybe like a few days after this episode's out. There will be a new goons song in an hour No way finally did the drunk driving one. Did you get like a music video made and stuff? There will be a music video Oh Wow, that makes two goons music videos coming out in the next little while. It's true. That's true I'm putting a I'm putting a music video on myself in a band of week It's probably should be out by the time this video was out Should be on my channel. Hopefully as long as everything goes well. Is this video has been cursed You uh, you just showed us yours and it looked really good So do you got a you got a lot to live up to buddy because his ours will be Fucking dog. Yeah, mine. Mine was in the making Mine was in the making since november of last year, but you guys Yeah, well ours was in the making of december 28th. Yeah, 2020 At all. Yeah, I'm excited. It's gonna be hot Yeah, I'm excited for yours ours is going to be The video We'll call it like the song actually kind of came together Is it better or worse than yo-ho music video wise? I haven't seen it yet. Oh Oh Which one was yo-ho the music video? Like what we've done we've done. Yeah, we've done too It was partially vertical because I had one editor start it and then he just kind of gave up He's like, I don't want to do this. Oh, that's right. Yeah, he didn't like it And I was like, okay. Thanks, bitch. And then I had my normal editor just finish it We actually did a pretty good job. We didn't do a video for your name Oh A great story like monsters ink Stays with you forever and disney plus is where you'll find your next great story From the return of the award-winning hit series rivals Welcome to the naughtiest show on television to the unmissable crime drama high potential Gotta dead body gotta go a lifetime of great stories awaits this spring on disney plus 18 plus subscription required t's and c's apply Welcome to paddy's piece of the air your blind date is already at the table and there she is Cousin brander, what are you doing here? You're married anyway Substitution brought to you by paddy power cousin brander makes way for beth the office crush. Oh get in You might not always pick the right starter But your sub can still deliver because with paddy's super sub your bet rolls over to the player coming on paddy power Validant selected leagues are market-only pre-match and in play bets on qualifying player outcome selection Zoning t's and c's and exclusions apply hitting plus scummelware.org They're always like at the end of the video Damn I did wasn't even in grinning the gravy and I know I can't I can't wait to be part of this of this next one Yeah, I think the next one we do I think the problem with Yoho and drunk driving is that we like Used real instruments for the most part of the side drums. Is it actually it actually takes a while to record produce and write instruments And then because the vocal like the the the easy part is like the lyrics and and the vocals and all that stuff I mean we have the I've been learning guitar Are you good? Sorry my audio just cut out. Oh Yeah, I mean the easy part of making those songs is the the lyrics the vocals all that stuff the hard part Especially because we keep choosing to use real instruments with some stupid fucking reason Is is that part and like actually writing a song With instruments and and having to produce it and mix it and all that is a lot more work Then like it's like three different musical or four different musical influences all kind of smashed together, too Yeah, which yeah, I mean we're all It's not that cool on this one. It's our I think Yoho was a good blend but this one's kind of just like it's like one version one like genre and then a whole other genre And another genre is cool soup soup through a wrench in the second verse Yeah, we had like the first verse was very like Like almost like Pantera II very like fast pace Like da da da da da da da da da and then the next one soup just like fucking i'm gonna like sing on it And then yeah, it just kind of parts of this song sound the same No We should have just driven like a country rift. I don't know for no reason We we've had a banjo for No reason there's like it goes from like a chorus that's super produced like almost like like dance gavin dance And then we did a breakdown and we didn't we didn't know how to transition those two things So for some reason it's like a banjo like you accidentally change the fucking radio station or something and it's just like It's supposed to bizarre transition Ever it's so bad that song is so butt cheeks. It's so that song is perfect for people who have ADHD because you will never Be bored. Oh, yeah, you don't know what's coming next. No, it's like a car accident of different genres And none of them are good every 30 seconds you change that the radio station. Yeah, it's all like the worst versions of those genres too. It's really really garbage. It's pretty funny But yeah, I feel like the next one we got to do as the goons Um, and then you know, obviously whoever else wants to join Um, but I think swags will really succeed at the next idea we had and I don't know if we'll do this because it'll be kind of hard Reggae flow. No, we want to do like almost like, uh, the Dracula flow. Are you familiar with those? Oh, oh, yeah We want to do like Dracula flow style bars over just like some sort of trapey ass Crazy we make I got you We could do that. We could run it Yeah, I think it would be fucking hilarious to have like this crazy hard distorted trap beat and then just like Fucking the stupidest bar. She's doing like a uh, like a knock loose Denzel curry Where you just go back and forth that might be a little see the problem is every time we try to go That was a great song by the way that song fucking ripped But every time we do that we end up having to use real instruments again And it takes too long because we have to write things and record them and it's too much work We need to like just strictly stick with All three you guys able to like communicate. Oh this chord into this chord into These notes into these notes theory Sorry, go ahead, mcnaz. I was gonna say me and duke analog because we're more like We know more about theory soup is like he kind of can he's he's more of like a riff player Um, so he'll just write a riff and then kind of let me and do like play off of it We'll do mostly because he's the one producing it and then whatever bar was about to say I just all I can do is Describe them. I can't like and then you know like give them a shitty little like comment give like a general idea like I You'll be like you'll be like I want I want the to go Yeah, maybe maybe like a few steps Like I could I can play guitar in bass, but I don't really particularly know what I'm playing So like the best way to describe how I know music is like A language you're not familiar with you learn phrases and you don't understand how those phrases Come to be that phrase but you understand that phrase very well And you can hear somebody else say a phrase that's similar and understand the connections between those two things But you yourself if somebody was like, you know say something super niche like you know There's a turd floating in the bathroom second stall to the left I can't do something like that and it's the same for music where if somebody's like, you know, write me Where you can you can you can go you can go toilet broke Yeah toilet toilet left toilet busted poop everywhere. I can do that. That's that's where I'm at with Theory I'm and I will probably never get past that because theory is extremely Theory is hard It's hard. I don't even bother with it. I just pick up a guitar and he's going Whatever sounds good It's honestly as long as you like as yeah, as long as you can generally find like A case it's all about really to me. I feel like because I've gotten so much better at music theory It's really just about understanding the music theory is a spectrum If you know What e minor is on a guitar, you know music theory It's just the lower end of the spectrum and then when you're like do where he knows the sex the 40th harmony to fucking z Sorry, I'm gonna say six, but you know, you just like there's just like a spectrum of Music theory. Yeah, oh, yeah. Yeah, you most yeah, that's what's saying You're better at music if you're more on the spectrum and you might be a little bit worse The music if you're like a lot through the spectrum completely Beyond the spectrum definitely helps it. Well, I know somebody who can like who knows literally nothing about theory, but she was born with like Pretty much perfect pitch. Oh, that's awesome Yeah, dude, it's crazy. She knows like nothing like she cannot tell you like Why a chord works or anything like that, but you can play a chord and she'll tell you what notes it's composed of It's it's like for somebody who has no training. It is extremely Extremely insane like she was I shouldn't say no training. No, she I shouldn't say none. She has no like advanced You know theory training she took like piano lessons growing up and something that so understands like bbbb, you know Here's here's the keys laid out in front of me. It's crazy. You suck at music theory was van halen He would I believe that I very much liked about how he would ride a riff is he would take like a shape He liked with his fingers and just run it down the neck. I don't give a fuck sound sounds Yeah, he just he's like I like this And I mean Yeah, I mean with some with some distortion and vibes I can see how I could see how good so much good music is made off of vibes The thing also is like naturally almost everyone knows music theory in a sense of like if you play a certain, you know As three notes at a time to make a chord you are you can tell if one of those does not belong It does not sound correct to hear even if you do not know what you are talking about you do not know shit about music You naturally understand what if it makes you good and what doesn't yeah, it makes you great. It's some suck air We don't belong there Little bit frequencies the energy of the universe the vibes frequency the vibes Yes, yep Yeah, long story short. We can all Contribute musically. I don't bother because they they do their thing and by far the worst act guitar and bass out of them so I Was it Jimmy Hendrix who took a bunch of acid and then Thought that is the neck of his guitar. Turn it to a snake That sounds pretty correct. Yeah, I can see that Yeah, it was Jimmy. I mean that got a good old gym. Good old gym. Good old gym bow. Hey gym bow Yeah, he played left the guitar, but he shrunk it the wrong way around no no So he played a righty guitar held left-handed for a left-handed Yeah, he played all caddy wampus Yeah, it was all jiggled up his shit all Cricklebane did that too, didn't he? Did he? Did you fucking hear that Kurt Cobain's death was ruled a homicide? Yeah, I don't know how yeah, it like very recently so like well, I what I don't understand is like How it wasn't labeled that immediately Like you had really long hands Like I'm like Cobain files now I'm like two times the lethal amount of heroin so he was strung out as fuck somehow managed to pick up like What was it like a 12 pound shotgun that was long as a 12 pound sport? Sport shooting shotgun with like the longest fucking barrel possibly it's like you could do it You can in theory do it, but you'd have to like pull the trigger with your fucking toe Yeah, but he didn't see it shoes on yes He didn't have shoes on unless he was really good with the shoes I think it was like a magic heroin accident that led to the gunshot. Yeah, yeah Yeah, didn't they implicate that it was his his partner was that was that is that is that yeah Yeah, there's definitely theory Substantiated allegation there you go that is more so what it is. Yeah, I don't know like who? Specifically would have interest in killing Kurt Cobain enough to do all that, but I don't know shit I don't know anything about like the the lore of the Conspiracy theory surrounded I should say yes, what are you doing? I Talk about you catch last week's Cocoa Mellon episode buddy What are you doing? Are you supposed to take pills and forgot to take those pills today or what's going on? How many they mean you are you This guy's been sick for like a month Yeah, I try not to take antibiotics ever unless I really need to accept I want to contribute to the super Yeah, that's that's valid would you imagine taking antibiotics and being patient zero for the super bug He goes the world all cuz you couldn't all cuz you couldn't just fucking drink some Gatorade and chill the hell out Just because you couldn't have some all cuz you couldn't have some Gamerade and chill the fuck out I am when I do I get sick I turn into like an old white woman. I take like 50 supplements every day When I'm sick I like to do the Dying the dying animal thing. Yeah, I'm gonna go by myself I'm gonna lock myself in this room for four days. I'm either Or I'm gonna die but I it doesn't last forever. I honestly if I'm sick. I was sick literally I Was in Toronto for the weekend The Monday we were coming home. I started to feel sick yesterday my throat hurt and I had sniffles today I feel completely fine. I am never sick for more than two days like unless something is like Bones are bad you eat healthy in your fit you work out I drink up I drink a Polkari sweat jack off and I'm either gonna die or I'm gonna live It's that's it. That's where the Pick a Polkari who? Pocari sweat Polkari sweat This guy's never been Japan get hung over Actually, I'm pretty sure they're actually a Vietnamese drink I believe they're made in Vietnam anyway. I could be I could be incorrect on Yo, if you're Vietnamese and you're listening to this podcast turn up Let's go. You're Vietnamese listen this podcast stop listening and go make out some more Polkari sweats get cranking on them I'll get cranking we need five more Polkari sweats stat Yeah, I just want your sandwiches and beef Keep making really awesome food the bond me Bond me is or like a 50-50 of like the best sandwich you've ever eaten and literally chewing glace Poop Apparently bond me translates to motherfucking bread yo in Vietnamese No, I'm your bullshitter. You're lying to me not not the motherfucking yo, but by me does like translate to like begin I'm not entirely wrong it does just translate to bread the word friend, but I did add the motherfucker yo to make them sound cooler And would be cool though Just you think I'll bet it's pink You know, it's also pink gamer sups Flavors of gamers up you Yo's you could use code goons get 10% off of gamers sops Go use code goons go get yourself some gamer shops and you have a bunch of energy and do some crack and all sorts of fun stuff It's the best thing to drink after a 20-year stint as a sailing fan after a lot of salvia So if you want to get reinvigorated and hydrated go get some gamer stuff a gamer subs that gg and use code goons for 10% off your order And if you're listening on youtubers Spotify make sure you like comment subscribe save it all sorts of fun stuff Ignasti you look like you sell 33 dollar burgers It look like you serve fries Paper's in burger it's got and you got a gun it Yeah, they put like Fucking boots on is he saying or do you say? New on a newspaper. I didn't know I could do something. I must have some burger. You look like a fucking loser Anyway, thanks We will see you in the next episode Bye