Sara Haines On Throwing Shade & Getting Roasted

9-1-1, where is the emergency? It's the middle of the night in a small town on the Jersey Shore. Someone reports an abandoned car on a bridge. A search gets underway for the missing driver, 19-year-old Sarah Stern. Is it a missing person? Is it a suicide? At this point nobody knows. Old friendships, buried cash, and a sinister plot that was once pitched as a movie plays out in real life. I'm Juju Chang from 2020 and ABC Audio. Listen now to Bridge of Lies, wherever you get your podcasts. Well, I told you today that you did a great job. Ways, yeah. Yeah, and yesterday too. But I think she caught both times so she thinks it happens now. Okay, yes. All right, so for those who are just tuning in, as I believe I do more often than you think I do, I complimented Sarah today on the commercial break and I said, wow, that was a great take. Good. That was strong. I feel like I'm having conversation with Max right now. I tell you all the time how much I love you. Really? I'm pretty sure I know. I tell you all the time that you're a great host. But joy at that point turned to me and said, why don't you compliment me? Why don't you compliment me? You never tell me I'm doing a great job. And then you said, and it was such a duo, because she says different things than you know. Yeah, well, it was fine. It was funny, but I enjoyed it. All right, well, first off, we had some great news. This is exciting. Congratulations to Melissa and Justin on the birth of their son, Justin Patrick Griffin, Jr. That's pretty great. Have you spoken to her? I haven't spoken. We've been texting. Me too. So it's exciting. We'll learn more as we move forward, but baby is healthy. She's doing great. And she can finally just exhale. Like that was a long one. I mean, she's a hero for sure. Yes, she is. And did you know the name beforehand? I think she told me the name, but I never care that much about the names. Really? Yeah, because I'm just more excited once you meet them to know. But I know Justin was in the running, but I hadn't remembered. Do you consider a Max Jr. at all? No, because we always felt a deeper connection to the homage to the people that made us. So it was always to the next layer above. We do that with millennials. We have middle names of Heather and my grandparents. OK, yeah, yeah. We did because Alec is Max's dad's, Richard, his middle name is my dad's name. I always wanted to have meaningful names, but Sandra always tells me. She's like, someday I'm going to have a girl and I'm in a name or Sarah. And I was like, I love that you say that Sandra, but you don't have to do that. She's like, no, I want to. And she is so cute about it. But that's kind of how I felt about naming her Sandra is the meaning of what my mom's role was in my life. I felt that was something I that would, if the world works out, right, my daughter should outlive my mother. And to know that name carries on is our oldest is Grace Vivian and Vivian is Heather's paternal grandmother. OK. Our youngest is Lily and Hope. And Hope was my maternal grandmother. And both of them were here to know that. And it's so funny because Lily is so much my grandmother. It's it's it's it couldn't have picked it better. I mean, Max Jones said it's like Sandra, mainly her appearance, her hair, her face, her coloring is much more like my mom than me. And he always says it's like a really weird thing. It's like I had a baby with your mom. And I was like, yep, that's weird. But it's true. She does she does end up looking more. And I mean, obviously that was her destiny, regardless of the name. But it did work out nicely. What do you remember about those first few days after having your kids? I remember your first child, especially. I remember it just being a fog because you know, you have all these images in movies and friends and what they tell you and you know, it it's really rough. And it it's I remember being woken up and remembering you just want to sleep. Your body is so tired, but I was trying to breastfeed and the baby coming in. I also remember one really dumb decision, Max made. And I knew in the moment it was dumb. But maybe now he gets it. In those days in the hospital, I always say, let the baby go to the nursery. Let them take care of that baby for you. This is controversial though. People feel differently about this. Well, Max, maybe like, you know, it's our baby. Maybe we should say, I said, honey, in a minute, we're going to be at home. That's our baby for a long time. Like we're going to have plenty of nights. But let me just recover. And like they'll bring the baby in for feeding. But like let us just like relax. I think we should maybe have the baby in here. And I remember Alec came in. They brought him in and he was fussy. And both of us are like, do we do any? And looking back, I think Max would laugh at the fact that he kept saying, you know, maybe the baby should be in here. I'm like, no, let them take care of your baby. You're going to have that baby. But at the 10 years later, you can't get the baby out of the room. Well, now we can't sleep. And I'm like, the other thing is, Max had the, you know, he forgets like what went on having that baby. So I'm like, my body is shot. I'm tired. I'm breastfeeding. I'm this and Max is like, do you think we should like bring the baby back in the room? I'm like, no, Max, I don't think we should. I'll pause and pretend that was a great idea. And then I'll let you know, leave the baby in the nursery. So there's always all these great memes that I actually was sending to Alyssa of the dad complaining about the chair in the, the chair's rough though. The chair is rough. But she kind of blew up Max's spot because she said he complained about the chair to you and she had been talking to Justin and I. Well, I was sending pictures to Alyssa of Max because I remember talking to my siblings through as my epidural wasn't working with Caleb. And then I started to make primal like groans and moans and Max like casually says, let me know if you need anything from across the room. Like I'm dying over here. I am, but yeah. But me like every baby I took pictures of Max in that chair because he was able to rest. I like, I'm poking, beeping oxygen, all the different things. And so I wanted to reassure her that Justin was in good company. The dad is the passenger for sure. My big mistake was asking the nurse in the delivery room if they carried the NFL red zone channel. That was a mistake. That comes up still from time to time. Yeah, I don't even remember watching TV. It was a lot of football going on. It was a big time of year. No, I do. I have fall babies. That's totally tracks for you. Yeah, totally. Max, I remember asked, where's the sheet? And we didn't realize that the sheet was for C-sections. Yes. Not vaginal births. We both panicked. I was like, don't go down there. He's like, that was the advice someone gave me. It's just whatever you do when you go to cut. When you cut the umbilical cord, don't turn around again. Just don't look. I don't need to see that. They don't need to see this. I saw nothing as Joy would say. Yes. All right. There was a story on the Hot Topics list this week and I thought you may have a take on it. It's the rise of, um, I'm going to paraphrase here. Full around and find out parenting. Oh, yeah. The trend has emerged on TikTok where parents let children face uncomfortable or harsh circumstances for their behavior or consequences for their behavior. Examples include a mother throwing her child's. My pet out the window or shutting the door on a child threatening to run away. Do you subscribe to this? Oh, well, the amount of times Alec has left the house in Caleb to run away. And Max, like, should we go after him? I was like, leave him. You know, because you know they're coming back. I too ran away. And you don't, you don't leave your property usually. You know, I didn't have a bag. But so the other day we actually had this happen. The kids had, we were ordering ice cream and the boys who I hate to always categorize it that way. But Sandra seems to comprehend behavior and consequence better than both boys combined. So they had acted up. And I said, you're not going to get ice cream. And we took it away from Alec. Caleb followed suit and eventually lost his ice cream too. So we went to order the ice cream. And I was like, I want some. So Sandra and I sat on the couch eating our ice cream. And the boys were like, so angry. Oh, my gosh. You only have to do it a few times where you lay into real deep consequences for them to get it. But I deeply believe in, I want them uncomfortable now because the world is going to make them uncomfortable. And they have to know why things happen. So we repeat over and over. Do you know why you like Alec this week? Has no plate-aids. He can't go anywhere. No one can come over. He is in hardcore punishment right now. And so every day I said, when I reiterated it or max, I said, max, remember, you got to rattle off the y every time, rattle off the y. So do you know why you're mad at me right now? Do you know why you're not getting that? And they have to repeat it. But I also don't know if that is one size fit all parenting because we're big on consequences. But you also have to shape those to the child because Sandra doesn't need hard, like coming in hot and hard makes her very emotional and sad. She needs a little softer touch. Right. Kids are different. It varies, but we are deeply, you make choices and you will get consequences. I respect that a lot. My Heather's a little tougher than me in the moment, but she folds afterwards. And she means it when she says it, when she issues a punishment, all right, then, you know, I'm pulling you out of all your dance classes. And I say to her, you're not really going to do that. So don't say it. If you mean it. You got to mean it. She means it when she says it. But then she thinks about it for five minutes afterwards. And I was like, last night, Alec had lost, along with these plate-aids, he's lost treats at night, which we don't do a lot of treats. They are little things they can have. And Alec was chasing me around last night. And I said, oh, you can have some of the chocolate chips. They're sugar-free chocolate chips. I didn't think of it as a treat. Max comes, he's like, he lost his treats. Why does he have these, I go, they're sugar-free. What? That's not a treat. I don't know, chocolate chips are a treat, Sarah. Well, I know. And then I'm sitting on the couch just completely exhausted. I was like, this is why people fail with consequences. Like, I didn't know. But Max had also gotten mad too. And it's early because I sent Sandra to ask him a question. And he's like, why do you keep sending them to me? I was like, then he comes in contradicts me. And I said, because you keep undoing what I'm doing. How do I think it's hard? It is so hard. It is really hard. We have to remind each other. We're on the same team. Come on, we got this. Yeah, and you have three. I really don't know how you do it. It's pretty impressive. Well, it depends the three. I've seen three kids. I could have five if they were of certain temperament. It's that honestly, one would have been hard for us with. Persuade. Do you have a temper? Do you lose it? I do. Yeah. What about Max? Max seems calculated. Well, Max, the first time I ever heard him raise his voice, I never had heard him raise his voice until we had kids. He doesn't do it a lot. He's not a screamer. But the only times I've heard it, which it actually stops me in my tracks because to hear a male voice loud, my dad didn't yell. Right. I wasn't around voices, male voices that yell. So it unnerves me when Max does, but it's not often. I don't like that about myself. My mom was a screamer. And I don't, to me, it's just, you can be super effective and be calm and still have hard consequences. But I think I was, it's so instinctive for me to scream because that's how my mom handled it. And it makes me, I then have the shame of that wasn't even good. I didn't teach a lesson. I didn't nail anything. I just lost my. And I've seen you get very angry. I've never seen you scream and melt down really. Or anything like that. I have screamed and melt down. The other night, at bedtime, I had a full blown melt down. Sandra came home from school and she's like, mom, I just wanted to let you know I did share with Lily that you yelled a lot last night. And I was like, all I kept thinking my head is, don't be embarrassed. Her friend knows, be embarrassed you did it. So I was just sitting there and I was like, it's okay to share with Lily. Mom, I had a really bad night. I did not handle it, right? But thank you for telling me. My dad had a temper. My mom, but didn't really, I don't really, I don't lose it. I couldn't see you losing. No, I think we've been working, we haven't been working for 10 years. I think I've lost it twice, three times maybe. But I remember one conversation we had where we both lost it. Yes, I'm thinking the same one. Yes. But that's the closest thing I've seen you losing it too. But yeah. Yeah. Yeah. But I wonder if it's the same one. I'm sure it's the same one. No, it's the same one. Yeah. I'm still mad about that. But the. I've gotten over it. I'm glad. I apologize. Thank you. I have not apologized. No, he's not. But my wife has a temper, which is not a surprise. And she's a very warm, good, sweet person, but she gets frustrated. And I see one of my daughters has one, and one of my daughters doesn't. Grace. Grace does not. It's Lily. Lily has a temper. Yeah. Lily has a temper, especially at night. Yeah. It's hard though, because when you have that, and you don't like that in yourself, I don't know how Heather feels, but I don't like that in myself. Yeah. When I see one of the kids, I automatically, like, there are times where Alec loses it. And I'm like, oh god, I did that too. Well, that's funny. There are other things about my kids, and this is becoming a parenting podcast today. I didn't mean for a two, but I do find that like, there's so many things you see your reflections of yourself and your kids, and you take so much pride in it. But I almost equally see the things I don't like about myself and want to try to stop them or nip them in the bud. So it's weird. I always hope that the cute things are things I love are me. But it's actually hard to accept the good stuff, like to say. I feel the same way. You know, oh my gosh, my child's like this, because my mom always oversimplifies everybody. Oh, that quality. Was that Max or you know, and I still remember one time Sandra was such a joyful baby. And my mom's on the phone with me. Now, the only story I've ever heard about me was, I didn't even cry when I woke up. They'd have to come over to see I was away. It was, it's like a family like, I don't, no one has first hand knowledge about my parents, but all of us kids know this story about Sarah being this kind of baby. I remember I was telling her about Sandra. I'm on the phone and she goes, oh, she must get that from Max. And I remember stopping and I was like, what? And my mom will be quick to give all qualities to Max or me as if this child can't be an individual human. You could just map it out like a, yeah. And like the things we're passing on in our genetics can be generic, they can skip gender, like, there's no way to trace who gave them what. It's easier and sad for me, but I often claim the worst parts. I am like, oh my God, when a child struggles emotionally, I'm like, I did that. You know, I don't like to say it out loud, but I feel it. Yeah, and that's hard. It's actually worse, I think. Anything that you feel like is your fault. Yeah, you're like, oh my gosh, I burdened them with that. Yeah, yeah, that's a hard thing. But, but you know, try to find the pride in the stuff that you helped contribute to too. I mean, it's weird, I don't take those good qualities at my mom when we do something great. She's like, she gets it from me. And I'm like, okay, okay. This is why you and I are fascinated with twins and we just want to perform experiments. I love twins. I know, I just want to like raise them in different circumstances. Yeah, see their likenesses because they every set of identical twins will tell you just how different they are. But they're wrong. The same person. Today I want to tell you about one of our partners, reafflead. Before I go on, take a moment to check in right now on how your body is feeling. How does your back feel? How do your hips feel? How about your knees? I got some issues. If you sit for most of the day, you might find that your body saves up a lot of discomfort. And reafflead is a seat cushion that's designed to help. With their serene sits orthopedic seat cushion, you experience all day comfort. It's made from advanced memory foam arranged in a unique W-shaped design. The slip resistance material means it can be used on any seat at your desk at work, on your couch, in your car, or anywhere else you find yourself sitting for long periods of time. And best of all, it's affordable. Just $29 with a special deal for our listeners. 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We had a killer amongst us. Murder at the U. Listen now. All right. Here's something they made a few headlines yesterday. And first of all, the reason I mentioned today, you've been on fire this week on the show. I got to be honest with you. This is the third compliment. I know. I appreciate both of the compliments. This is a third. This is a new one. Oh, sorry. This is a third compliment. Because in addition to, I mean, listen, you get very passionate about what's going on on the Epstein trial. Yeah. It was not even trial with the Epstein files. And I respect that and appreciate that. And I know it's something that you feel very deeply. You brought that same fire and energy to the Real Housewives of New York City star Jill Zaren yesterday. I did not mean you carved her up. Well, right, right, when I heard the studio audience like gas and like laugh. And so if I thought, oh, didn't come out the way I planned it. Yeah. I was merely, well, do you want to finish what you're saying? No, go ahead. I was making the point that she had made a comment that Lady Gaga at the referencing the halftime show must have had a facelift because she didn't recognize her. And all I was saying when I was thinking about the segment and when I set it out loud was just like, that's funny coming from a housewife because they're openly talk about and you can just see it on their pictures. Like they're the Queen's a plastic surgery. And like they indulge in it, they love it, they do it, they do. So to have her say that just felt like really because I totally recognize Lady Gaga. People were not prepared for the Sarah Shade. I'm just saying there was a big response on social media and positive. It landed more like I was, it was in the name of consistency, not bitchy. Yeah. Well, on top of which, she had said racist things and so yeah, I don't even get started on the rest of it. But, but so after we, we dropped your shade on her among other things, she was dropped from her new show in the wake of backlash for slamming bad buddy Super Bowl halftime performance. Yeah. Oh, and Andy Cohen called said you were savage. No, that I won. I love when Andy Cohen knows I exist. Yes. I just love him. But it literally came out a lot harsher than I meant it. I don't think she would think it was as harsh when we talk about plastic surgery and the housewives. So what did you make of her being fired? Um, I think it was accountability and we're seeing so little at sunny house. I would say consequence culture. Yes. I'm just seeing so little of it, like example, President Trump, uh, retruth that racist uh, video of the Obama's on a monkey bodies or whatever. At the lowest trope blaming it on a social media person, refusing to apologize and it's just another Wednesday. Yeah, well, it's almost gone. That story, which is crazy. It's, yeah, talk about flooding the zone. Yeah. It's, it's just. It's accepted. It is. And I'm not apologizing for her at all, but it is not surprising. Once again, it's a woman getting a consequence. And I hate to go there, but you see the trend. A lot of my rage in the Epstein files are these are powerful men for the most part. There are women, but the, um, guys of secrecy and, uh, allowing for things because there's millions and billions of dollars involved and a lot of power at stake. So it's rarely the men, right? And that's just, uh, that's just historical fact in life since the beginning of time itself. It's the men. It's the guys of secrecy. Whoa. Yeah. So either there, um, all right. So Jill Zaryn did respond back and she's to the backlash and she said, um, they didn't give me a chance. I took it down right away and people make mistakes. I'm human. Right. But the beginning of her video was my daughter told me I'm going to lose followers over this, but she thought about it first and said here goes. Yeah. So, and, and the, the need for people, I mean, it would almost make more sense if that were a, a 15 year old with new learning, new etiquette on social media and how you don't need to record everything. You don't need to share your opinion on everything. We get paid. Mm-hmm. I would not sit around sharing my opinion for fun. No. I get paid. Yeah. So I don't run around my life feeling that everyone needs to know what I think about things. If you ask me or it's a person that's close to me, we'll talk. But this idea that you have to stand on the, like, in the town square and share, but I think this, like, that's getting people in trouble because that's a problematic. Yeah. It's, I've never really gotten it to be honest with you. And I'm on social media. I, I mostly just, you know, send pictures of my kids and ratings and places. But it's, um, I, I never understood the need that other people want to hear what I have to say about something. Again, they do care what you have to say about something, but they can watch the show for that. Yeah. And I don't, I honestly don't use my social media for that. My platform or things I'm deeply passionate about, uh, when it comes to offering a platform, like I've been posting all the Savannah Guthrie things. Yeah. I, anything I can do to offer on that level. I like humor. Mm-hmm. So I post funny things. I love motivational. I post those things. But I've really kept my social for the most part of sacred space where it's not that almost to make the statement that when it comes to my job, I am paid. That's why everyone, they have jobs. It's how they pay their rent. I love my job, but I do not run around feeling that my voice should matter more than anyone else's. Yeah. Um, I agree. Um, all right. So I want to give you some credit here because a couple of weeks ago, um, I had Sonny do a cat GPT rose. And this is something that came from you because you told me about it. And I, my initial response to it was, I don't want to hear what it says. You said I go, you can't, he goes, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, really, I'm not strong enough. I'm not strong enough to hear it, but I, I thought about it afterwards and then I ran, I asked chat GPT to roast me and I started with a light roast and it was funny. Yeah. And then I got a little heavier and then I asked it to burn me to a crisp and it did. And I laughed for days. Ever and I've shown it to left for so much. Cause it's so spot on. And it knows so much about me because I've talked too much to it. Yeah. Um, I wanted to give you credit for this, this thing and then ask you what it said about you. Oh gosh. I'll start it cause Max, Max doesn't giggle. Like he's not a giggle or we're at my parents house and I see him doing this thing where he's kind of like in the corner. Oh, he did it first. He did it. Oh wow. So I went to him and I'm asking him and he's like, Sarah, you're going to die. You got to read this roast. So I read it and it was hilarious. It, I could never have wrapped my words around this man I've known for and loved for so long the way. Yeah, did it. And I'll really quick said they get him. I mean, they nails it. So I'm laughing so hard and I said, I want to read it to my parents. He's like, they won't get it. Send it to your brother. I said it to my brother. He's like, oh, this is awesome cause he knows Max. Right. Better. So I tried it on myself and I was laughing because I thought it really does capture the, the layers of who you are and how you use it. It was saying things like, um, you asked deep questions about society, theology and history and then pivot immediately to cartoons, breakfast, spots and car play not working. Your brain is basically a brunch menu, serious, curious, nostalgic and mildly annoyed at technology. And then it goes on like, uh, you clearly like answers, but not the kind that require too much scrolling. You want wisdom, but by the second paragraph, you're like, okay, but where can I eat pancakes with a view? You also give strong, I'm calm. But if this app buffers one more time, I will quietly judge everyone involved forever. There we go. I think we don't know how much we've given AI and it's only going to get worse. It is. And especially, I mean, for people like you and I always say this about joy, joy has been on television for 30 years. Yeah. Plus, you know, a podcast a week for the past three. If I put all that into chat, JPT, I would have virtual joy. She'd be ready. Oh, hell yeah. I mean, yeah, it's, it's really, it's something else. But honestly, it's the, the, the really insightful part is what are you looking for? I always joke right after when you asked earlier, do I remember the early days after having a baby, the amount of time I spent in the throes of like breastfeeding in the middle of the night where I wanted to be asleep. I knew everyone else was asleep. The amount of googling, yeah, I was not there yet. I was doing. I thought, oh my God, if anyone ever saw like, I literally, you can, my nipple fall off or has a nipple ever fallen off. Oh, I mean, literally because you're, you're in your imping, you're uncomfortable, you're doing. You're embarrassed by the things I didn't know. But now like the amount we put in there for it to regurgitate out, like the profound ways in which you use it and the completely embarrassing ways, it's it. It's just, it's a picture of a whole person. Yes. I'll occasionally write back afterwards, forget that I asked that question. Never mind. It says, okay. I don't believe it. It's literally doing what you do. It's setting it on a shelf for your next roast. Yes. But they also do like start to tell you what you want to hear a little bit. And that's something I'm trying, I'm very aware of. It's overly positive, I think, and overly encouraging. So sometimes things that are bad ideas, it's like, that makes a lot of sense, Brian, that's great. Well, that's why I use it more for contrary and things. Yes. I like to push back and counter it to make it accountable for what it told me. It's like, yes, Brian, you should start a weekend view, like things like that. And then you look at it and like, was that a good idea? I don't know. I guess it's so amazing. Well, it does love the podcast. Yes, we're not going to lie about that. It's definitely a bright guy. Yeah, it is. She is. All right. First of, before we go. Oh, it's a sheet. Oh, yeah. Before we go, you're episodifying your roots. Oh. Air last night. How was that experience for you? Did you watch it in real time? So I did watch it in real time because I'd seen it because he was coming to the show. Of course. Or watched it. It was so cool. And I think it was funny because there were people that saw the clip and my emotions and like, you're related to people and it's 12 generations removed and all that. But I don't think unless you watch the full scope of the show, you understand. I saw some of that too. And it's ridiculous. Even the show is a micro example of a day of six hours of shooting and knowledge that they really edited way down. But the reason was I remember even my ask, when I asked Dr. I was going to say Dr. Roots, but Dr. Skip, Dr. Skip. I said, you know, the show's very inception was not for people like me. It was for black people and Jewish people who had their histories. Like they'd been erased, demolished, couldn't find them. Exactly. Yeah. So he was uncovering that in a beautiful way. And I remember when I asked him his reaction, I said, you know, if ever, you know, you would do someone I would be on. He was like, we'd love to. And I remember thinking, oh, wow. As the interview of six hours unfolded, I kept sharing with him that I'd always been drawn to people that had identities. Like, you know, whether it was my husband who's Jewish and more so Russian in how he presents the language, the culture, you know, my, my black boyfriend, like everyone had something that made them different and unique language culture. And I remember Max saying to me, you have culture, you're American. I was like, well, everyone's American. Like I, not as American as you. Well, so I didn't know really what that meant. This country's huge and the histories, you know, has some really sketchy parts. And, you know, I just didn't know what it meant to trace the lineage back to origin countries of Germany and England and then follow it here and to see the deep patriotic service. It wasn't the most military service that Dr. Gates has seen in all his many people he's uncovered, but it was some of the most military service on both sides of my family. It unlocked an identity and Dr. Gates said it to me because you do have an identity. It is deeply American. And the big revelation for people that didn't see it before, we haven't said it on this podcast. Oh, yes. Is that I am related to President John Adams and therefore John Quincy Adams and also Sam Adams who signed the Declaration of Independence and has a great beer. Also the beer. I said I will always choose beer from here on out. But I think just seeing that it wasn't that I think that I'm sitting here as an example of John Adams, but one, it is a president that I can be deeply proud to be related to. I also just think it gives you this the most iconic part of like my studies. Another story you could never hear is through that whole day. I'm telling him how Dr. Gates about wanting to study presidents, the psychology, the almost the narcissism, the not the good and bad. And so there was a presidential theme through the whole day. So when they revealed it to me, he said, did you not notice my whole staff came in? And I was like, I didn't notice the room's dark. And he's like, everyone knew and you kept bringing presidents up the whole time. And you had no idea and we all knew. And so the shoot, they were like, they'd been waiting all day for you to hear it. I think it's great for people to learn anything they can. I mean, especially as I get older and I lose members of my family and things like that. I identify as I'm a half Italian. In my mind, I'm Italian. Right. But there's a whole other half of me that is lots of different things. Yeah. I'm on quarter Jewish. I'm a lot of different things. And some of it, I know some of it, I don't. And again, as people who do know, go if you don't ask those questions, have those conversations, you can lose some of it. Well, Dr. Gates says someone dies twice in their life. They die when they actually leave this earth and they die when people forget about them. So at the end, I remember saying, thank you for bringing back all these ancestors to life because you don't have to take credit for the bad decisions they made and you don't get to take credit for all the good ones they made. But they're yours and they give you some kind of identity and group that you're part of. According to my grandmother, Hope, who's Lily's name's take. Yeah. I'm related to Henry Clay, which is wonderful. Also Lizzie Borden, who killed her family with 40 wax and and birth back wreck. So I let that. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. I love that. Like I said, we can't blame our and we don't get credit for their bad decisions. No. We don't get credit for their bad decisions. Sometimes people got to get whacked. All right. On that note, thanks for joining me. That works for my Italian side and Lizzie Borden. Look at that. Thanks for joining me today. Sarah tomorrow. I'll be back with Anna Navarro. And we'll see you there.