Ghosts | 8

13th of April, a Saturday, 2024. Kesanuma, a major fishing port in northeast Japan. It's taken about five hours to get here from Tokyo, first by bullet train, then car. It's a beautiful day. blue sky and we've caught the tail end of the cherry blossom season. We take the road out of town, passing by a few houses, then fields and farms and on through thick forest, up into the mountains which surround the port. Look behind and the view of the Pacific is spectacular. It's midday when we arrive at a small cafe. We've come all this way, many thousands of miles, to meet a man in his late 80s. Mr Suzuki is polite and friendly, bowing and smiling, maybe a little embarrassed we've travelled halfway around the world to meet him. We sit down, order coffee and tea, and he starts to tell me his story. My name is Kyoto Suzuki. I am 88 years old. I was born on January 22nd, 1936, in Karakua village northeast Japan looking out over the Pacific Ocean not far from here. My family was a typical coastal village family. They worked on a farm and also at sea. Life was basic. My father was a fisherman. I had ten brothers and sisters. We all went to school, but we also all had to work. In the fields, on the farms, everyone had to help rebuild Japan after the war. It was a hard time. I followed in my father's footsteps, and when I was 16, I became a fisherman. I was ambitious. I really wanted to be a sea captain, be in charge of my own ship. And when I was 24, I got my captain's license. And from then on, I spent most of my working life at sea. This is Adrift, an Apple original podcast produced by Blanchard House. I'm Becky Milligan. Episode 8 Ghosts 38 days adrift. Neil and Sandy are both emaciated and Sandy's cough is now so bad that Lynn worries it's turned into pneumonia. During the night, Sandy's coughing got worse, and he'd begun to bring up phlegm. He'd drift off for a couple of hours until another bout of coughing shook his body awake. I knew there were a few more days of this, and it would kill him. The clouds had started to gather. It looked like it was going to rain. I looked past the sail and caught sight of something that wasn't the sea. There's a ship over there. Almost casually. They all stop talking. Dad, did you just say there was a ship over there? Yes, a ship. A ship! Bloody hell, there's a ship! A ship, there's a ship! There's a ship? A ship! A ship! A ship! What? Is it really a boat? They all try and get up to have a look. Careful. Can't catch ice now. The sharks are right there. Keep still. Just keep still. Hand me a flare. Hand me a flare. We've got two hand flares left. Dougal is shaking as he lights it. It burns bright red, and he holds it as high as he can above his head. But it doesn't last long. It fizzled out and was gone. It's not going to stop. No! Dear God! Over here! Over here! Stop! Don't go! Stop! We were about to be left behind a second time. Don't leave us! Please! Don't leave us here! Damn them! Dougal grabs the other flare. This was the last flare. It was all or nothing. It lit straight away. Red hot. He waves it back and forth. It was burning his hands. He can't hold it any longer. I threw the flare high into the air. We watched in silence as it curved in a brilliant arc and dropped into the sea. All six watch and wait, unable to breathe. Too scared to talk. Oh, what? What in heaven? She was praying out loud. Lord, see us. See us. See us. She was begging. Please see us in the name of Jesus. Please. Lynn gives Douglas the whistle. See us. For Christ's sake, see us. something happened in that moment something glorious happened she altered course the ship altered course Dad just altered course I was barely able to look I could almost hear his heart beating She altered course again She was now pointing straight at us And it was coming towards us Like a great white bird So unreal Like a mirage They must have seen us This could be it Have they seen us, Dad? I think they've seen us, Dad There was now no doubt about it and I whistled harder. A feeling of disbelief. Dougal sees the ship's flag. And me dad just sat down. This was it. We've done it! Yes! We've done it! Yes! We've done it! We just looked at each other. We were going to be saved. We were going to be rescued! We were going to be rescued! We were saved! The joy of that moment and the words that I'd waited for my dad to say from the beginning. Our ordeal is over. Half an hour earlier, the Tokamaru, a Japanese tuner ship. It's been a tough couple of months. They shouldn't really be here at all. They're off course after engine trouble. Now they're heading for Panama. On board, the 20 crew are eating their evening meal with their captain, Kyoto Suzuki. We ate supper rather early. We ate a lot, and we filled our stomachs. Then we went out on deck to cool down and enjoy the sunset. Including the ship's radio operator, Yoshito Kashiwa. It was not yet dark. Nothing unusual, nothing to report. And then one of the guys on deck saw some smoke. We could see red smoke in the distance. What is it? They have no idea. Could it be pirates? Then someone said There's something strange drifting over there We were all wondering what it was We took out our binoculars It's a boat There are people in it I can see people The captain shouted Head for the boat and he ordered us to alter course. We'd never seen anything like this before. So we approached with caution. I thought it can be true. I could see a woman. I could see a woman and children getting bigger and bigger through my binoculars. I was astonished that there were children on board. Such small children. I was wondering what they were doing so far out in the ocean. We could see a man, a woman, and children. We thought they were a family drifting in a lifeboat, and they needed to be rescued. I was determined that we should save them. As we got closer, we maneuvered our ship very carefully. We didn't want to hit them. MUSIC PLAYS A black snaking rope landed across the dinghy, and it was oily and dirty. And I thought to myself this rope is not of our world And I grabbed it and I hung on to it We pulled on the rope to bring their boat next to ours And we were soon alongside them. The dinghy is dwarfed by the 300-ton Tokamaru. All the crew are crowded on the deck. When I saw what they were wearing, I realised that they must have been on the sea for a long time. They pointed at our emaciated children, cleaning their necks to get a better view. They were looking at us and we were looking at them. There was like a thousand pairs of eyes looking at us. They were all looking at us, all staring at us. and then these hands came over the side and we pulled them up one by one. First Neil, then Sandy. Next person up was Robin, then Douglas, then Mum and then Dad. They try to stand up I fell over Couldn't walk My legs collapsed Your legs have gone We just collapsed on the deck They just sat down on the floor They were weak They've been crammed into the tiny dinghy Sitting down the whole time Your legs aren't working anymore And I crawled over to where Neil was They've all survived Parents, Lynn and Dougal Their 18-year-old son, Douglas 11-year-old twins, Neil and Sandy And 22-year-old Robin, the only non-family member And they're all lying on the deck of the Japanese ship The crew looking down at them I staggered to my feet and greeted the captain of the Japanese ship. I tried to show in my eyes and through simple signs just how thankful we were to him and his crew for spotting us. I hugged him, my eyes full of gratitude. I thought how lucky I was. An hour before I had been ready to accept death. Now, I was being reborn. The captain was about to cut the dinghy loose Dougal begged them not to do it He said, please don't sink it It's got our food on That was our food that we had fought so hard to get We were not going to just give it away like that, you know But the smell was so bad So we turned the dinghy over and tipped all their dried fish meat into the sea. They didn't look good. We had no idea where they were from or why they were there. We couldn't understand their language. But there are some universal words. Shower! Shower! They stank of dried fish. They were horrified. Shower! They're holding their noses. We smell like dead animals. We had plenty of hot water, so we sent them to the bath. The Japanese crew carry the bony twins, light as feathers, to the hot seawater bath. Robin and Douglas stumble along behind. Suddenly we were in this hot bath. With soap. Oh, that bath. Stop it, Douglas! We're laughing stupidly. Douglas being big brother again. Laughing and giggling. So joyful. Oh, cleaning all that shit off. Then we gave them clean clothes. The kindness. These people were so kind to us. There's food too. Not raw flesh or turtle blood. Coffee. Orange juice and bread and butter. The bread with the butter on. Absolutely divine. Weeks and weeks spent conjuring up imaginary meals for Dougal's kitchen. But bread and butter is enough. The captain takes Dougal to the bridge of the ship. I didn't speak Japanese. He didn't speak English. We didn't speak the same language, but on board, everyone is like family. Captain Suzuki needs to know who they are, where they come from, and what happened. They have to report back to base as soon as possible. I showed him the World Atlas, and he pointed to England. The flags of the countries were also on the Atlas, and he pointed out the Union Jack. The Union Jack, the UK flag. The father then drew a picture. We understood. They were trying to sail around the world, but their boat was hit by a whale. Dougal writes down all their names, and then the captain orders Yoshito Kashawa, the radio operator, to send a report. At that time, there was no satellite communication and no radio telephone. Morse code was all we had. Six. Stranded. Bridges. Saved. Before heading to the shower, Dougal wants to know exactly where they are in the Pacific. We were looking at the sea chart. I pointed out where we were. And he pointed to where he thought we were. We realised that his calculation was only slightly out. Dougal's incredible feat has been to navigate 750 miles, with just the sun and the stars to guide him. Not drifting in the currents or being blown around by the wind, but sailing towards land. They had less than 300 miles to go. Six days and we would have hit land. We were just amazed that we were so close. But would they have survived another six days? After shaking hands once more, the captain wrinkled his nose and pointed at my tattered clothes. Oh, Sawa! Sawa! Exhausted, they do as they're told Lynn and I luxuriated in the deep tub The simple joy of soap lathering in hot water felt like one of the greatest luxuries of civilised mankind These lovely Japanese people made us a bed For the first time in 38 days the Robertsons and Robin can lie down, not sitting chest deep in seawater in the raft or contorting their bodies to fit the shape of the hard dinghy, not hungry or thirsty, not praying for clouds to bring them water or fearing them in case they bring storms. They are safe. We could lie down, stretch our legs out, not touch anybody, not have anybody's feet lying on top of your feet, the weight of their leg crushing your leg. Bed. Blankets. Warmth. Rest. Rest. And then slowly, slowly, slowly, life. Captain Suzuki and his wonderful crew brought the milk of human kindness to our tortured spirits and peace to our savage minds And it makes Dougal think again about the Japanese who he's blamed for decades It was the Japanese who had killed my young family Dad hated the Japanese people with an angry vengeance The bitter canker of revenge Locked in my heart since this again was bombed by their imperial war machine Dougal's anger had survived 30 years But he realised that the world had changed In a bizarre twist of fate Those same countrymen had saved the lives of me, my wife and my children bestowing upon me the most valuable of gifts the ability to forgive. Now it was 1972 and the Japanese had saved him and he found peace. You can't be more grateful. In the days that followed, we indulged in the luxury of drinking and eating wonderful food as we slowly adjusted to life on board the Tokamaru. We had to exercise our swollen ankles and stick thin legs every day as we learned how to walk again. We crept around like old men, punched over. One morning, Neil is staring out over the side of the Japanese ship. Lost in his own thoughts. And he said... I miss that. Maybe they all do. That daily fight for which the reward was your life, that had gone now. The feeling of accomplishment with each turtle that we killed and each ten miles that we'd sailed. The sunrises in the morning, the sunsets in the evening, the survivals of the nights, the collecting of the rainwater, all of that, we missed it. It took four days for Tokamaru to reach Balboa, by which time our legs were starting to work again and Sandy's cough had all but vanished. 28th of July, 1972 Back in civilisation It's four in the morning but there's a huge crowd to greet them The world's press Comeras Reporters I was surprised to see such a crowd I would never have expected to see so many people People are just looking at us. That message, sent by Yoshito Kashua, the radio operator, six stranded Britain saved, has gone around the world. Their front page news. The cameras just exploded. People are shouting. I didn't know what the hell was going on. It's time to say goodbye to the Japanese. They all hug. My mother had been learning these Japanese words to say thank you Meina kazaku sayonara Thank you. We shall not forget. Farewell. We would never be able to repay them. Any fishing boat or any boat would do the same. If we find a shipwreck, we must save the survivors. It is a very normal act. Nothing special. I'm proud of what we did. I did something good, and people speak well of me. I'm happy to hear that. We'll never forget them. It was time for us to return to our world. And they to theirs. Life changed in an instant. We were homeless. Because Meadows Farm had been sold to pay for the trip. They don't have a home anymore and they don't have any money. They've come full circle, back to England, back to where it all started. We hadn't got anything. We got nothing. As a family, we would have to try and start over. They stay with friends and family, not far from Meadows Farm, while looking for somewhere to live. The twins haven't fully recovered. Still thin, thin little arms, thin little legs. And they're expected to fit straight back into normal life. We had to go back to school. It's a massive culture shock. A bus full of screaming kids. Who are you? What's your name? Oh, yeah, I know who you are. You're Robinson Crusoe. Kids are mean. First lesson at school, religious education. There we were, little bald old man, telling us about God. And I was just thinking, I wish I was on that boat. Neil can't concentrate at all. I just painted pictures of boats and seascapes. In less than a year, Douglas is off to join the Merchant Navy. just like his dad. Anne has gone off to university, and Lynn is left to deal with everything else. Dougal locks himself away, writing a book about their shipwreck. A year later, in 1973, it's published, Survive the Savage Sea. It's a thumping success. My dad's life changed completely. He became a man of money. Never worked again in his life. He buys a farm, close to Meadows Farm. A fairy tale ending. But it's never that simple. Dougal feels guilty. Lynn blames him. She couldn't forgive him. She couldn't stop bitching at him. She just couldn't stop herself. Dougal is tortured. I said, Dad, it doesn't matter. We survived. We're here now. We survived. He said, no, Douglas, I should never have put you through that. He felt the guilt? He felt the guilt because he'd nearly watched his children die in front of him. And he was responsible for that. The arguments between Lynn and Dougal on the boat, well, they don't stop when they get home. It's like a wound that just won't heal. Their marriage crumbles, and the time comes to tell the children. It's a painful moment for Anne, their daughter. And I remember my mother told me that they weren't going to be together. and I was so shocked that I immediately vomited. I ran to the toilet and vomited. I knew they weren't getting on very well together. So it is a traumatic point in a child's life when that happens. Neil and Sandy were broadsided by it and the rest of the family was sort of pushed away from it. You said that your father was the love of your mother's life. Was your mother the love of your father's life? Oh, yes. In their early life together, there is no doubt that they adored each other. They absolutely adored each other. But shit happens. Life happens. Life gets in the way. I'd fallen out with him about leaving my mother, you know, and I argued with my dad about that. And you couldn't understand why? I couldn't understand why, and my dad couldn't explain to me why. Mum and Dad split up. The family was breaking up, moving apart. Dougal moves out. He buys himself a yacht, of all things. And sailed it to the Mediterranean. Starts a new life. First Greece, then France, and he has a new girlfriend. Lynn is left alone. It wasn't how she wanted her married life to end, I suppose. The divorce, the shipwreck, everything that happened. Mum went through such a lot. She almost took her own life. God, that's so sad. It was. From this strong woman to being somebody to attempt to take their own life. Sandy did say that your mother really suffered when he left. She did. So much so that she attempted to kill herself. She loved him. He was a hard man. Callous, hard man. It was very shocking, though, that your mother felt that terrible, that she nearly did that. She loved him. But you have to compromise. If you want something, you have to compromise. And my mother was not prepared to compromise. If Linda wasn't prepared to compromise, and Dougal certainly wasn't, you get two rams banging their heads together. And that's what they were like? That's what they were like. But my mum loved my dad. Absolutely. Never stopped. And your dad loved your mum? Not enough. And why did your father leave then? I don't know. I think he just wanted to get away from it all. He'd had enough. The twins live on the farm with their mum. Neil doesn't know why Dougal left either. I was so close to my dad. he didn't just leave my mother, he left me I spent two years looking for my dad waiting for my dad to come back, looking over these hills then I realised that he was never going to come back Did it sort of feel like he was going off and starting life all over again with a new girlfriend? Yeah It was alright for him Yeah What did that feel like? Terrible he was wrong to do that in my view but people are people aren't they and they are owed happiness in this life and you're excused if in pursuit of happiness it hurts other people You think he's excused for that? Just looking for a new life? You only live once Yeah but you excuse him for that I do, yeah. And say, fair enough, Dad. Yes. He's entitled to be happy. That's interesting, you're very forgiving. I am forgiving. You know, because he left you all behind. Yeah, I know. But you still love him. Yeah, he's my dad. Despite everything, even though he abandoned all of his family. In the end. Well, that was his loss, wasn't it? Ten years later... PHONE RINGS Hello, Dad. How are you doing? Dougal isn't doing well. He has cancer. The children drive to their dad's home in France. I didn't realise how sick he was he was like a skeleton he'd gone from this man of steel of grit of determination feared nothing afraid of nothing to this frail old man white hair he'd lost all that strength and um Dougal tells them it's serious They start packing up all his things He pulled the drawer open and there was our pictures Us kids, the four of us His children He hadn't forgotten us He loved his kids But he could have come home, couldn't he? He could have come home and lived a normal life and been part of our lives. Even though you love him, you're quite angry with him as well. I can be angry with him as well. You know, he's got flaws, the flaws I'm angry about. You know, Dougal should have known better, definitely, than to do some of the things that he did. But I understand his motivation. They bring him back to the UK. He came to stay with my sister and I put my arms around him and said, Dad, I'm really glad you're back with us. What do you think Dougal said to me? I love you, son. Yeah, well, you'd think so, wouldn't you? He said, don't get too close to me, Douglas. After everything that's happened, the years spent apart, the hurt, the anger, the trauma, there's still a bond between Lynne and Dougal. and then my mum, bless her soul, moved down to my sister to look after Dougal. Over the next three years, Dougal's light slowly fades. Mother never stopped loving my dad. She'd sit there and feed him soup. We all had a bit of time with him. We sat with him and smoked him, As we did in the dinghy. He was groaning like he was on the dinghy. As he was dying. He never got out of the dinghy. This man. Everything he'd done. My dad died. Dougal coffin is carried from the church My mother was being held up by her sons as we walked towards his grave. And next to it is the dinghy, which they've kept for all these years, a symbol of what he did to save his family. Lynne farms for the rest of her life. She never finds another love. Seven years later, she too dies of cancer. Mum was buried with him. They were together in life and now death. They are together. And I think that's where they should be. At the end of his bestseller, Survive the Savage Sea, Dougal writes this. I could not have been cast away with five more tolerant, stout-hearted people, bonded together with love of life and ready to sacrifice it for each other. But for them, it would have been so easy to die with Lucette. The present day, more than half a century after the Lucette sank, everyone looks back. First Robin. It was pure chance that brought him and the Robertsons together when Dougal offered him a place on the Lucette. At the end of the day, Dougal saved my life. Did you ever actually sit down and say thank you to him at any point? Oh, I'm absolutely sure I did. Do you remember? I probably was when we were on the boat, just before we actually landed at Panama. I'm sure at the time there were big hugs and things like that. You know, Nougal is not naturally, nor am I, naturally a huggy sort of person. But I had to, you know, I mean, it's the least I could do. You know, I survived 38 days in the Pacific Ocean and I can look back upon those 38 days with a smile on my face. You know, they really were unique experiences. It's part of you for the rest of your lives. And I think we've been through this together and we have this unique bond. Dougal and Lynn's daughter, Anne, left the Lucette at Miami, so didn't have to endure the 38 days adrift. Did you ever feel left out? No, I never felt that I missed out. At all. I thought, my God, if I'd been on the boat, one of them might have died trying to rescue me because I couldn't swim very well. So I looked at it more from that point of view. They were lucky I wasn't there. because it could have been worse. Did you sit down with them and hear all the stories, everything that happened from beginning to end? No. They didn't tell you? They didn't. I mean, I've heard it over and over. It was just infused over the years. And it doesn't matter who's there, no-one ever feels excluded because they make you feel like you are there, and I'm sure you've experienced that. Absolutely. They have a way of speaking about it that doesn't exclude you. Does she stand out as a bit different from the rest of the family because of not having gone through it? I think so, yeah. Anne's brother and Lynn and Dougal's oldest son, Douglas, did, of course, live through those 38 days as a castaway. You know, I think that she's more ordinary. She got more ordinary expectations from life. We look back now, me and the twins, and Robin especially, with special memories of those days on the Pacific and how deep we had to dig to survive. It was a great adventure, and I say to my dad every day, thank you. I thank my dad every day, my mum, for the experience that he gave us Sandy was one of the twin brothers in the family He was just 11 years old when the Lucette sank That closeness of these people, that challenge, that survival The trip on Lucette was an absolutely amazing time for a young lad like me It was a massive part of my life Sandy's older brother, Douglas. No matter what you say, it's a great achievement. This great journey, this great feat out in the Pacific Ocean. If you ask my sister what difference did it make to those boys, she would say... Neil and Sandy and Douglas are utterly fearless. They don't care. They know. They've been there. They've already died. And it's probably true. If you push the boat out, something will happen. It is fear of pushing the boat out that holds you back. You know, I'll take chances that other people wouldn't take. Do you think so? Yeah, I think so. Don't ever take advice from me, whatever you do, because I'll give you the adventurous version. You know, I won't give you the conservative version. You know, it's not for me. I mean he took you all on a trip which nearly killed you all I mean wasn't it selfish of him to do that Probably But it gave me something too That I would not have had If he hadn't done it If he hadn't had the courage to do that Because life is a feeling and Dougal gave us that feeling He gave us that feeling that anything is possible If you turn your mind to it Did you dream about it? Always dream about it. Always. Twin Sandy. Like you're back on it. Like you're back on it. I can remember what my hands looked like in that water. I can remember what my feet were like, swollen. I can remember what the feel of the water was like rushing in. Cold. How much do you think it's defined who you all are, the Robertsons? Because it's defined you, hasn't it? Oh, yeah. Oh, without a shadow of a doubt. Life is for living. I believe in life. It's there to be lived. Neil is Sandy's twin brother. He was just 11 when all this happened. Sandy and Douglas say they wake up every morning and say, thank you, Dad. Yeah. I want to know whether you feel the same way. Not really, no. Everything didn't go that well, did it? Yeah. Yeah. Well, maybe Neil is just calling it for what it is, a one-man selfish dream. I've tried to shut it out. Do you think you did shut it out? Yeah, yeah. I flashbacked. I see Lusette at the bottom of the Pacific Ocean and she's got this huge halo around her. Maybe when I die, maybe that's where we'll go, back to Lusette. You don't know, do you? It's that day in April 2024 when my producer Ben and I are in rural Japan We're about to meet Captain Suzuki the skipper of the Tokamaru who saved our castaways But what I haven't told you is that we've brought someone else along with us. Douglas Robertson. And this will be the first time he's seen Captain Suzuki since 1972. Back then, Douglas was a young man of 18. He's now 70. How are you feeling? I'm just... I'm feeling a little nervous. I must say it feels slightly surreal. It's like the air itself is sparkling around me. You know, with this beautiful day, I just want to meet him now. Thank you. 52 years. 52 years ago. Oh, yeah. Well, it was overwhelming. I walked up to him and I shook his hand firmly, over firmly. He was trying to get his hand out from my hand and I wouldn't let him go, you know. And I held him, I said to him, Arigato, arigato, arigato. thank you and I felt like I was hugging my dad did you? yeah I felt that Captain Suzuki for a moment in time was my dad and I didn't want that to end and then he was gone it was over but I'll remember it forever You know, I can't describe it to you. It provides closure. Is it the moment when you can actually sort of almost let go a bit? Yeah, yeah. It's a completeness. And I feel so happy that I've been able to thank him. So happy. you've been listening to Adrift an Apple original podcast produced by Blanchard House and hosted by me Becky Milligan Adrift is written and produced by Ben Crichton and me Becky Milligan The series is based on the book The Last Voyage of the Lucette by Douglas Robertson. Original score by Daniel Lloyd-Evans, Louis Nankmanel and Toby Matemong. Sound design by Vulcan Kiseltug and Daniel Lloyd-Evans, with dialogue editing by Toby Matemong. The lead sound engineer is Vulcan Kiseltug. The part of Dougal Robertson is played by Mark Bonner and Lynn Robertson is played by Anne-Marie Duff Their words are adapted from Dougal and Lynn's own accounts of their story The young Robertson twins are played by Rocco Hamill and Dexter Hutton The words of Captain Suzuki are voiced by Togo Igawa and Yoshito Kashua is voiced by Sadao Ueda Research and translation from the original Japanese by Hiro Sasso The young Suzuki is played by Kenichiro Arima Other parts are played by Mark Gillis The managing producer is Amika Shortino-Nolan The creative director of Blanchard House is Rosie Pai The executive producer and head of content at Blanchard House is Lawrence Griselle you