Welcome to Why Not Me, embracing autism and mental health worldwide. Hosted by Tony Meehanthor. Broadcasting from the heart of Music City, USA, Nashville, Tennessee. Join us as our guests share their raw, powerful stories. Some will spark laughter, others will move you to tears. These real life journeys inspire, connect and remind you that you're never alone. We're igniting a global movement to empower everyone to make a lasting difference by fostering deep awareness, unwavering acceptance and profound understanding of autism and mental health. Join in, be inspired and join us in transforming the world one story at a time. Hi I'm Tony Meehanthor. Welcome to Why Not Me, embracing autism and mental health worldwide. Joining us today is Deliis, author of Loving Pieces, a heartfelt book series celebrating the autism journey with warmth and inspiration. Through vibrant stories and insightful guidance, these works embrace diversity, offering inspiration and support for individuals on the spectrum, their families and communities. She joins us to tell us how it all started and the story is very inspirational. So before we dive into our episode, we'll be back with an uninterrupted show right after a word from our sponsors. Thanks for coming on. Thank you so much Tony for having me. Oh it's my pleasure. I understand you've written a book. I actually have four. Four? Oh that's awesome. Can you give us a little background on them? So everything started because we were looking for books that our kids could relate to, you know, like characters that they were autistic and that they had similar experiences to what they were doing. Our therapist over in Barcelona, she taught us about social stories. She taught us how to doodle or how to create them in PowerPoint. Or we can explain visually to Adrián who's my oldest son who's autistic, he's 11. Like certain things about social stories about what happens in certain situations. My husband and I, we both have a background in digital marketing. So we said, why don't we just write a book for him, you know? He can just have it forever. That's how the first book came. What was the title of this first book? The first book is called Party Time for Adrián and it's a story about Adrián that he's going to attend his friend's Amelia's birthday party. So in this story, we teach him like anticipate what's going to go, what's going to happen in the party. Like, okay, you're going to get an invitation. These people are going to be at the party. What happens if you get overwhelmed? Like maybe he needs an alone time. What places at the party could he go to? So it's a social story that narrates like how to also say hi to new peers or new people. It's like in a very positive language and a very visual way that they can just understand and know. This was the first book, correct? That was the first book. Okay. What led to the second book? So we got such good feedback from the first book. We said, why don't we just continue with my husband? So that brought to the second book, which talks about meltdowns. A very important topic that it's usually very negative in a way that people talk about the meltdowns, no? Unfortunately, that's correct. Through the book, we were able to teach our son how to name the things that were happening to him. So now he says like, mom, I'm having a meltdown. Okay. What tools do we have to so we could just regulate back again? Got breathing exercises. We got stepping away from the thing that caused the meltdown in the first place. So visually throughout the story, we teach about meltdowns, about not having to feel guilty about having them, you know, like teaching them like this can happen. And here are the tools that you can use in order for you to regulate. One of the things that we added in the book is at the end of each of the books, we have like a bonus chapter for parents where we give them like tips and tricks that have served us. So the books are written from the perspective of parents. Of course, there are a lot of books like for therapists, for even for teachers or for caregivers, but from professionals, you know, but these books are written from our own real life experiences and from our parent based experiences, you know, we have that all of the illustrations are hand drawn and they're based on us. So if you see the characters in the books, like they look like Adrienne, they look like Guillermo, they look like us. That was one of the main objectives of the book that they feel related to the books, like the character in this book that happened to me. Is it mostly words or is it a balance of words and pictures throughout? Yeah, so it's like a story and it's got a lot of pictures. Like it's very visual, like what things are happening. And like, for example, the third book talks about confidence, being able to build the self esteem and knowing that you're autistic. And what does that really mean? Using the specific skills that we have to make connections or to fulfill. So Adrienne, he loves trains. He knows every metro station in the world. He knows the types of trains and he knows everything. So in the story, there was a show and tell over at school and he was having a hard time connecting to peers or he didn't understand why he didn't click as fast as other kids do, you know, like, why don't I know a lot about sports or why do I have a hard time understanding the rules of X and Y game? So throughout the story, we talked about using his skills to connect with peers. So in the show and tell, he created like this futuristic train with all of his imagination and he used that to connect to his peers. He did like a small presentation in his classroom and they were listening to him and that helped him connect. That's a great story. Now, what is the fourth book about? The fourth book is back to school. I think we as parents are very worried about back to school. Routines change. Your teacher changes. Your classroom changes. And at least our kids, they flourish with knowing what's going to happen. No, the routines, the anticipation. So throughout the book, it's like the story about the new school year. We anticipate them going beforehand to meet the teacher. We talk to the teacher about their specific characteristics or needs, all like in a very children's story, like so they can understand, but why do I have to go before? And the other kids don't have to do that, you know, like normalizing everything almost. So he can know inside the classroom where his calm corner is going to be or at least what the teacher looks like. The first day of school, he doesn't feel as lost, you know, we also anticipate that he might get new friends or maybe a couple of his old classmates are not going to be there or maybe that he's going to have different subjects. So it's just like building a story like what's going to happen? What could the first day of school look like? At the end of that book, we also talk about what happens when they get home. Like what usually happens with our kids is that they're like compressed throughout the day, just trying to understand what's going on. Then when they get home, they usually are very quiet and very still. So just making them feel okay. Now, how many kids do you have at home now? I got two kids. Adrián, he's 11 and Guillermo, he is five. So we knew Adrián was autistic around 17 months old. He had like textbook. He didn't talk. Physically, two, he stayed still in a place and if nobody talked to him or did anything, he would stay there for hours and just looking at the ceiling for different signs that made us feel that something was not okay. So we reached out to the therapist's center over in Barcelona and they did the full diagnosis. And that's how we got diagnosed with autism. What did their diagnosis look at the time? When he was first diagnosed, I think he was a level three, now he's two. And he started to talk around six years old and Guillermo is doing almost a similar journey. So at the time now, he talks about maybe 20 words. He's just starting to get that language. We use like alternative communication devices or a lot of pictograms and the books have been very helpful for us too. He's smaller than Adrián, but we are starting already just to to leave the road for him. How have the books been received outside of the family? Have you gotten a lot of feedback from many people in your area or around the world? Yeah, yeah, a lot. Like good and very useful too. Like, for example, for the first book, which was for a party time for Adrián, we were like super happy. And it was a first book. Everybody was excited. Like other parents for other autistic children, maybe therapy or maybe then work gets around. No, they were telling me, like, yeah, the book is really good, but my kid does not get invited to party. So I really don't use the book or can't use it. And I'm like, no, you can use it for events or maybe a family gathering. But really, it's about a birthday party. That was what really made us think about, OK, let's see what are the most common things happening between autistic families that we can reach more, maybe give a better awareness by the books. No, like, so since we are self published, we have that freedom to decide what topic that we want to use or what twist that we want to put into the books. I'm not sure if it's the best way because I've never written a book before these. But that's what we're doing. The main thing is that it's working. That's really all that matters. Yes, yes. And and we're like really, really dedicating a lot. This project was born out of love and it's fueled by hope and by wanting to get something out there, you know? So other people can know like this side of autism, you can learn about it or you can teach it in a different way to you know. Yeah. Now, it sounds like all your books are very, very positive. Yeah. Now, what about the reality? Things that aren't so positive, like the bullying and how they have to deal with that? Have you addressed any of the realities that autistic people have to put up in your books? And if you have, how do you go about doing that? Yes, yes. Of course, the books are based on our experience. Sure, that's perfect sense. And we know 100 percent that my experience might not be the same. Another parent face. Absolutely. The book about confidence, the autism confidence starts here. There is a chapter about bullying, the way that we approached bullying, because this is something that happens. My kids have been bullied, even I have been bullied as a young person, as an adult, even. We give them tools about if this happens, what can I do? So he just walked away, he could ask for help or he could face bullies. Of course, facing the bullies, it's another level of emotional and you have to be like, for example, other than he wouldn't face bullies as easy as the way you're asking for help. You know, first, the way that he communicates is not a very fluent communication that he has. But in the book, since we want to also reach those kids that might be able to say, no, like, stop this. You're not supposed to be doing this to me. So we all always try to give them tools about how to handle tough situations. In the book number five, they were going to launch in October. We talk a lot about masking, too. Like they do it even without knowing that they're masking. They just want to fit in or maybe they don't want to be like, Adrienne, he's always like, you're not mad. You're not mad, right? Like, your mommy, you're not mad. He doesn't like to see us mad. And we're like teaching him. It's OK to feel all types of emotions. You don't have to be happy all the time. In that book, we talk about it's going to be a really nice book. We're actually just drawing in at the moment. We're in chapter three already. And it talks about it's like a metaphor of life, you know, that you're going to be up sometimes, you're going to be down sometimes. Good things are going to happen to you and not so good things are going to happen to you. Yeah, that's great because they have to learn reality. Yes. So we do address it in a not so negative way, of course, because it's a children's reality does not have to be negativity. We do maybe give the parents the opportunity to introduce those topics. Yeah, that's perfect. Like, oh, can you see that this kid is not behaving in a proper, properly way? He's pulling you. What are the signs of pulling in the tips for parents? We give them like ideas on how to address those more complex or more difficult topics that well, unfortunately, kids with autism are going to have to face. Sad, but true. Now, you said your oldest 11. Yeah. Is he verbal now? What is his status on that? He is verbal now, but he doesn't have like a two way communication, you know, if it's the things that he likes, he could be talking all day. But if, for example, when he gets back from school and ask him, like, how has school has been, he's like, fine, or what did you eat for lunch? And he's like, food. I'm like, yeah, but so I have to really kind of spoon him out like the answers. And you have to initiate the conversation. So how have you seen him change? And has he changed since you started writing the books? Has he been involved in such a way that makes him feel like he's really participating in the project and it's really something that's really good because it's about your lives? Yes. And not only him, like many of the characters of the book are based on his real friends. So it gives also a random opportunity to use the books as maybe conversation starters or maybe a way in which they can just read the book together or talk about different situations. Like in the last book, no, not the confidence book. One of the kids says, like, I know this book is for autistic kids, but this can also apply to me, right? And I'm like, yes, of course, like it's a very nice conversations piece. I'm going to say for him. And it's also very educational for him. Like he knows how to put names to things now. Like the other day he was, he said in Spanish because the book is written in three languages. I think that's really good that you've done that. What languages are they written in? It's written in English. It's written in Spanish and it's also written in Catalan. And we speak Spanish at home because at the beginning also they were telling us like, don't mix languages because it's going to be more complicated for him to kind of gasp just one language, you know, and he was like, Mom, Mommy, I am having a meltdown, but he said in Spanish, no, I think I'm a crisis emotional and I'm like, all those are big words for you. And that really just to field us to continue, you know. Yeah, I think that's great. And it says a lot about what you're doing. We're also kind of anticipating with him about he's getting into to being a teenage journal. And I don't know what that's going to bring. I haven't walked that path, but we're already kind of anticipating with the masking with the other things he has like over empathy too. Like if somebody's upset, he's going to get upset too. Or if somebody's super happy, he's also happy. Maybe he doesn't even understand why. So throughout the books, I think it's going to be like a very useful learning tool for him. And he sees himself in the books, of course, like this is that he has it really clear, like this is that and this is my teacher. This is my brother and we do this and we do that. And so we've been using a lot of the books that were created especially for that to teach them visually, because he's really visual. The teen years, everyone faces them in a very different way. So it's going to be interesting to see how these books where he's part of it and he's growing up with it. So it's going to be very interesting to see the dynamic there on how he approaches everything going forward. Yes, I really hope that we can just continue doing throughout the teen years. There are not a lot of books. That's what I've been told. I haven't done my research in teen because I haven't been there. That there are not a lot of books that talks about teen characters, autistic teen characters facing day to day situations. So we're looking forward to that too. Yeah, I think it's going to be very interesting because after everything that you've done, writing the books one through five, this is his story. This is his life. So this is going to be very interesting. Yes. When he gets older, he'll be able to look back and read the books. And the interesting part about it is this is the story of his life. Yeah, that's true. Yes, that's true. We also have plans to do like books for smaller kids like for Guillermo, you know, like potty training, for example, Guillermo's five, but he still uses a diaper. That's one of the first books that we want to write right now. Like, OK, maybe a social story for him to understand that eventually he's going to have to be ready to take his mappies away. I have a lady that was on my podcast that actually wrote a book about that. And it's the best seller goes all around the world. I'll have to connect you to because I think you'll have a lot to talk about. Yes, please, because that's our next big step for the Guillermo, just like trying to make him. Yeah, he understands, but I don't know how to explain certain things to him, you know. So. Yeah, I definitely can connect you to because she's had great success on that. And she teaches people around the world. She does speaking engagements. She has a foundation that's based in the UK. She does really well. Oh, yes, that would be wonderful. Yes, I'll definitely get you two connected. Now, what does his day to day look like? You've written the books you're trying to do and incorporate all these things into your lives. What's your day to day between navigating through the family, the challenges you face, writing the books? What's it all look like? Well, we're living in Barcelona, so we do a lot of therapy with him. So he goes to therapy at least three times per week with Adrienne. And with our youngest three times to one is with the public system. He had a lovely therapist. She her name is Angelina, and she's been with Adrienne too. So she knows our family and everything. And Adrienne is going to therapy with the therapist that he she knows them since I was 17 months old. So she has been there throughout his growth and throughout now. Guillermo's growth. No, that's great. Now, what about the school system? I have to say that we were we are very lucky because over at the school, they have a support system inside the school in which they receive maybe like they call it a money. It's like they're shadowing him and kind of guiding him throughout the everyday activities. And then they have a specific teacher for special needs. For example, for Adrienne, with the subjects that are a little bit more complicated for him, maybe eating comprehension or maybe those types of subjects are not very like math is easier for him, for example, or maybe comprehension mostly. So they go out to a specific classroom and then they help him just kind of understand those things. And they're at school from eight to, let's say, four thirty. And then during that time is when we are doing our work practically when they're at school after school, they love the water. So there I think they were fishes in another life because they love water. And so we take them to swimming lessons on Tuesdays and on Fridays. And that's helped them too. Also, yes, that sounds great. I bet it helps them because that way they get to intermingle with other people. And by doing that, it just gets them out of the house and out of school into a different environment. They're not in their usually usual like friends situation and kind of thing. So we take them to another place and they learn how to swim because for our little one, he doesn't understand danger, for example. So he did not know how to swim and he just threw himself inside of any pool. And then he came out. We were like, oh, my God, my kid. And he was like smiling and so happy that he almost drowned at the pool. So most of the activities that we do for extracurricular are for him, like learning how to how to swim is a big one. And also it regulates them a lot. I don't know what's up with water, but maybe the fact that it's really they like to go underwater a lot. So I think it's more violent down there, I'm guessing. And after school, we're just with them all the time, like trying to explain to them things and trying to kind of apply what we've learned in therapy also at home. Our therapists also have been very good at that because she's very practical. She tells us like what's going on now. And she gives us the tools that we as parents can use at home because at the end of the day is the parents that stay the longest with kids. Yes, that absolutely makes sense. Now, what are some of the challenges that you still think that you might face where he's going to be a team before too long? So that way you can make the transition a little bit smoother. OK, so they're different with Adriana and Guillermo, Guillermo, of course, because of the age difference. So I would say that for Adriana, he has he has a lot of echolalia. So he would repeat the same phrase over and over and over and over and over and over again. And one of the challenges that we face is that, of course, the kids over at their school, they're growing up and maybe as they were younger, they were more patient with him or maybe more comprehensive of the situation. And they kind of made a laugh of he's repeating the same thing all over again. Now that they are growing up and they have their own challenges, that their own hormones going crazy, you know, I'm thinking that they're not that it's happening now, but maybe in the future or when he goes to middle school, which is going to be a totally different school, totally different building, teachers, everything. I am afraid that they're not going to be as patient with him as they are now. Yes, that's very understandable. Sometimes I feel like at the school where we are now, because they've been there since have three years or so, we're kind of living in a small bubble, you know, like they know him already, they know how to help him regulate, they know what triggers him, what doesn't trigger him. I am really like wondering what it's going to happen in teen years, because he would be info dumping you about what he likes, you know, they're usually trains or about new constructions going on. And he does not know how to communicate with me too. Like, for example, if I tell you, like, if somebody was to be pulling him, I don't know if he has the capability of explaining me to me exactly how it happened. He would tell me like, no, I am sad because this kid did this, but he wouldn't tell me what this is. I tried to kind of understand he would get upset because he would tell me like, no, I don't want you to get upset. So that's what we're working on now. It's always tough getting everything coordinated. Now, what's the future look like? I think you're planning on writing another book. So what are your plans for the future? In the future, talking about things that are going to make them more independent as they get older, preparing the terrain for them to be more independent as they get older and maybe working a lot in trying to boost their self esteem too. You know, like that is a big thing, at least for me. Me being late diagnosed autistic woman, like they were some things growing up that made me feel or maybe have a lesser of a self esteem. And I don't want that same thing to happen to them. You know, I want them to be OK with being autistic and whatever that's going to mean for him because I don't know how he's going to evolve. You know, even when he was younger, I didn't know he was going to be the way he is now. You know, so I really don't know about the future. There's some things that I really think about and worry about, especially about independency, like I don't know he's going to be able to live by himself or if he's going to be able to do X or Y. And I think us as parents, too, it has made us think ahead, you know, like not only emotionally, but also financially, also about where they're going to be living in the future, what's going to happen if we're not here anymore. I think that's one of the common things with autistic parents. Every parent that I talk with are always concerned about their children if they're not around. So that's very common. You mentioned you were late diagnosed. When was you diagnosed autistic last year? So I'm forty. What age? There's nothing wrong with that at all. I have spoken with many people from thirty five to forty five who were diagnosed later in life. That's becoming very common and very typical now. It is. Yeah. And like, you know what made me kind of maybe understand that I was all statistic is because there were so many similarities. And when I go back, I was like, I'm telling him not to do this, but I did this all the time. What's a better approach that I can give him so he doesn't kind of have the same experience that I had with this subject, you know, I really had a really hard time at school. My mother used to really make not suffer, but in a way, yes, because I wasn't doing very good in some certain subjects. And I was the shy girl, you know, like she even told me like you were so shy. You were in fifth grade and you peed in your pants because you didn't want to ask your teacher. And now like I kind of understand myself. I have heard your story so many times. So that's not at all uncommon. If anything, it will help you raising your kids because you've been through a lot of things that they will be facing in their future. Yes, of course. God bless my husband because he's like, are you three or the same? And I'm like, you love us or you don't? And he's like, you allow my heart. I'm like, I look. Yeah, that's so good to hear. I understand that you also like to give back to the community. Yeah, yeah. And we also kind of want to give back to the community. So we do a lot of resources for anybody just to go into our website. There's a whole list of freebies. If you would give them your web address so they can check it out. Our website is LovingPiecesBooks.com. You can see all our contact information from there. And the website is also in Spanish. So yeah, so you can get it. Well, this has been great. Great information, great conversation. I really appreciate you taking the time to join us today. Thank you so much, Tony, for having me. Oh, it's been my pleasure. Thanks again. Thanks for taking time out of your busy schedule to listen to our show today. We hope you enjoyed it as much as we enjoyed bringing it to you. If you know someone who has a story to share, tell them to contact us at why not me dot world. One last thing. Spread the word about why not me. Our conversations are inspiring guests. The show you are not alone in this world. If you like the show, please take a moment to rate, review and subscribe. It really does help the show to grow. Thank you for listening.
