Kim Congdon & Uncle Lazer - Dogwitdaballs - Episode 933

Fill her up! You are listening to the Gas Digital Network. Jay, Louis J, Goldman, Go with the Legion Stanks! Welcome to our show! I'm so glad he's going. What's up everybody? Welcome to your favorite podcast. To my right is always the great Ari Shafir. Thank you. To my left is the Puerto Rican Rattlesnake, Louis J Gomez. Let me just say this. And I'm Big J O'Crison and we are the legendary Legion of Skanks. Sorry, Jay. I mean, you know, Jake, it's his first week where he's gone. Josh, usually the intern comes in, he gets everyone cheering and screaming and excited. Josh, people fucking hate your guts, dude. You ran by like it was a streaker in a children's orphanage. Facts. People hate your fucking guts, dude. We are counting down the days until you leave. Here's how you gotta do it. You gotta go, but leave so they can cheer for you leaving, as well as the show starting. I gotta tell ya, the crowd energy is fucking weird anyway. Crowd's weird today. I'm not gonna lie. It's the song. Jay hates the song. Did anyone know that was a new intro song? Yeah, they all know it. They all bummed out because of it. We're feeling the energy of these people. They're sad. First of all, the song should be called The Ballad of Louis J. The Ballad of Louis J. Gomez. They love it. They made a song about you and then mentioned me briefly for a second. Louis J. Gomez has a song. He shaves his head and also there's Jay. They mentioned Jay just as many times, but I just have a lot of isms, which you pointed out. So there's a lot of Louis' isms. They do your isms. Autism, racism, rapism. Gayism. Pedophilism. Also whatever. I was clapping for him. Hey bitch, I need an ashtray. Josh, this is kill yourself. Is this sign language for kill yourself? Hey queen. No, this is kill yourself. That's so close. They are strangely close to each other. That song is not making the crowd move at all. They know. They're bummed out. They're like in a trance of sadness right now. Yeah, bro. Look at this. This guy's girl for an aged 40 fucking years. She was a hot 22 year old when the show started. She was a hot 22 year old when the show started. This girl was a slutty teenager when she came in here. That's when that song did to her. She loved Chaperone and now she loves Lita Ford. She loved Chaperone and now she loves Lita Ford. I will say this is sort of my fault. Why? How's that? Because I'm terrible communication. Oh, you're going to admit this? Yeah. I wasn't even going to bring it up. I was going to let you just have it. What? What do you mean? Jay had this song in his inbox for two weeks. Not even in my inbox. Just right there in the text thread. In your text thread. And then with funny is when I asked him if he listened to it. He's first and second was to lie. But it was for five seconds. Five seconds. He lied. He was like, yes, I did. He went five, four, three, two, one. I didn't listen to it. So we had to go live to the show with it without you listening to it because you could have given notes the entire time. You say without you listening to it. You know, you listening without either of us. Jews listening to it. It's actually a frequency where Jews that are listening at home can't even listen to it. Yeah, it sets at the tone of a gas chamber. Yeah. And here's the thing when I heard it outside. The thing that was hitting me most was like the lyrics do seem very Lewis centric. Yeah, what else? But then that's not it. Well, no, but then when I got in here and we played it, I saw that it didn't make the crowd move even a little bit. Okay, let me weigh in on this. I was looking for the crowd today because I noticed you. I saw that dude, the fucking Gardner over there. That's a woman. Okay, with the beard. The Gardner lady. The one who fucks your wife. The most beautiful Pakistani woman I've ever seen in my entire life. I saw him bopping his head legitimately. Only one. He was going like this and then at some point about 20 seconds in, he goes, Yeah, dude. He was trying to feel it so hard and could not. Can we can we preface this by saying, We love the Palmer Squares. Love the Palmer Squares. Stay fast royalty. You don't got to sell me. You don't have to sell me on the Palmer Square. I've heard one of their songs and I should say they should rename themselves Palmer Socks. No, stop it. They're great. They're friends of ours. Well, they're all for one in Ari's eyes in fairness. Where's the talent? They're 99 and one to this guy. They're one and oh, oh and one. But Louis, yeah, so it sat there and I never looked at it and then I, we just had to go to air with it and then when it came on, it just, it didn't get the crowd at all. And now we don't know what to do. And all of us are non-confrontational off microphone. So he figured it's better to just bring it on here and make a bit out of it. You're the king of avoiding real life. We could have had this conversation. For two weeks, we could have had this conversation off microphone. We did. I could have every important conversation on the air. I know how to do it. I know how to fix it. Alex, drag it to the trash can and put empty trash can. What? Drag it to the trash bin. Empty trash can. I get it. You'll never hear it again. Yeah, write a new song or don't try to fix that one. It's over. You have seven days to get us a new song. Palmer Squares. You have seven days to get us a new song. Can I give notes now? Yeah, please. Don't suck so much. What notes did you give? I said love it, love the subject matter. Less J somehow. Yeah, if you could take a little bit of the J out and put a little more of the Louis in. So much to love. I can't even mention it. Just when you think you have as little J as possible. Take two more lines out. Play the opening of that versus the opening of the original much better song. Oh yeah. Just the first five seconds. We did this at my house the other day and we're just like, man, it really shows how much that new one sucks. It's not fair to do the Palmer Squares. Can we get our gas to the ground? Whoa, whoa, whoa. Yes! That bomb blast. Get a shot glass. So everybody. The thing with flow so fix. Get break quick. Woooah. Woooah. Woooah. That's it buddy. That's where it's for. That is nice. That is good. That is good. That was better. That was better. It was good that time. That was better. Love that fucking song. Now, god damn it. Now go ahead, what was the other one? Oh yeah, I forgot we had to do another one. Why? Fuck that. We love the guys who play it, then let them learn. Let them see what's capable. Can we say something here also? I wanna give Palmer Squares. You wanna play this now so people don't forget the fucking Roppus beat. Oh no, I wanna play this right now, but I wanna say it to the Palmer Squares. That beat that's used for the original song is a tried and tested hit song beat. It's made by Dr. Dre. Yeah, made by a real musician. I'm like. Sure. So the Palmer Squares is that what they're going against is a lot, but that's here. Maybe I'm being too much. Yeah, maybe I forgot. I'm hearing back to back and it's not so bad. Play it. If you could please. The Most Friends of Final Clock. He just can't sing. The most friends of Final Clock. Kick you with the soda packs. I wanna watch Lewis work out. That's a whole mess, but that better mind of mine. Doing karate, and boxing with guys. Spending lots of time with guys. Weddings, works out so much. One vacation and it's all for nothing. Lewis, this is, you know what the song is for? He just bought a dog and he likes to wear hats. His name is Lewis. Jay, tell him it's Lewis. Jay, how cool is Lewis? Lewis, Lewis, Lewis, Lewis. This is music that. Jay, tell him how cool is Lewis. It's Lewis. Jay, let him know it's fucking Lewis. This is music black guys play at Washington Square Park before they jump over four people. Oh fuck me dude. Let's get our guests out here. We have an amazing show you guys came on a good night. Yay. I felt like a model walking in a light show. Like a fun bit. Our first guest is getting ready to record her new guest digital special everyone. You know where you love her. She's longtime family. It's the hilarious Kimmy Congdon. Kimmy. Ow. What happened? Also joining us. You know him of course from Kill Tony. He is a maniac. He is hilarious. He is Uncle Laser. Nice. Uncle Laser, welcome to Legion of Skanks. Thanks for having me fellas. I'm glad you were out hunting big birds for your jacket. Yeah I know. I beat the shit out of some homeless woman on the way here and took that from her. I believe you. I believe you. It's also only a half shirt so it makes sense. Yeah. It's too cold to just wear that. You might have to take a homeless woman out to get that shit. Laser's a fucking man dude. I don't know if you guys over heard our theme songs. Yeah well it was happening. Laser you're a musician. Yeah. Yeah let him weigh in. That rap song that what y'all just did? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah good commentary. Laser could you whip us up something? Yeah I could do that. Get a good shit. Oh shit. Yeah. Oh man we don't even have a black person hanging from a tree. Dude if I was a woman in the 30's I would suck your dick. Let's do some blues real quick. His name is Lewis. He's the head of the show. Laser where are you from originally? I'm from... Parts unknown. Say parts unknown. I used to say it but I'm from a little small village about an hour south of Houston. Can you not be fucking... Hold on why are you being like all humble? Be Uncle fucking Laser. Shoot guns and pull your dick out. No we do that. Come on Kim. I thought you were from Florida. I thought you were from Florida for some reason. No. Everybody keeps saying that. I literally... Someone just told me that recently. I think it was like Uncle Laser they paired you guys to do something recently. Cause you're both from Florida. That's what I was told. What are you guys doing together? We both went to Florida. Yeah. We went to Florida. Together. That's what you saw. We went to Florida with Morgan and Morgan. They were trying to get you guys to go native I thought. Native? Yeah. Back to where you're from. I am really dark right now. I look like a young Sri Lankan boy. I look like Piglet from Winnie the Pooh. I don't... That's Florida fuck me up the first day. We got sunburned bad. I did. And after we had the autistic gear the rest of the time were there. You guys went together? Yeah. What are you guys doing? What was this pairing? Morgan and Morgan. Morgan and Morgan sent us to Florida. With the law firm? Yeah. I thought that was a joke you just made. No. Wait, what? No, I saw the footage. We're sponsored by Morgan and Morgan and they sent us to Florida to have a good time. To create car wrecks so they could defend? Just like to fuck shit up. I don't know. What? Yeah, they're like go fishing, go surfing. We started fucking these fish up and then the guys tagging us out in town and fucking karaoke bars just throwing dick. You know, just having a good old time. And like, but he's just badass like fucking surf film photographer. He's been cool the whole time and then it took a hard left turn and got real creepy. He like makes us get up and go to the jetties at like nine in the morning and he's like, y'all got to see the jetties. I'm like, man, I've seen rocks at a beach. It's not a big deal. Well, you have to, you have to preface it with the jetties. The jetties are the jettie museum. The jettie, the beach jettie. Okay. For those, for people that aren't from like a watery type of environment, what is the jetties? What is the jetties? They're like, man, I'm gonna ask concrete cylinder rocks that they like man make to put out so you can walk. You know what a dock looks like if a dock was made of rocks. Yeah. A rock dock. A rock dock. Yeah. Good old rock dock. But he's like, he's like, he's like, we're taking pictures and we're all hung over and he just, I don't know where he goes. Kim, won't you get up on that rock right there and do something sexy for us? Whoa. Why, and why didn't you? She did. I was like, well, I tried to be funny about it. The crew was holding a gun to her with. No, he hadn't been. Do something sexy. He hadn't been creepy once the whole weekend. He's a nice guy. He's a single dad. And then suddenly out of nowhere, he told me to get up on the rock and do something sexy. So I did something funny thinking that like that's what he meant. And then when I was like posing, funny to her, start spreading her pussy. I squirted. Is this funny? Hey, waterfall. No, he looks at it. I'm motorboating myself. He goes, yeah, that's it. Now laser getting on smacker on the eye. That's what he said. He said he's like, really? And I go, what the fuck? He's got. Oh, I was like, whoa, I would never want to do that. He told you to go and slap her on the ass. Can you hire Morgan and Mergen for your sexual harassment? Hey, that's how we spun it. That is how we spun it. We're going to sue our own photographer. So did you slap her on the ass? No. Do you have these commercials? No, we just filmed them. Oh, I'm pretty sure I'm bad. Yeah. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm bad. It's fucking crazy. We agree again and we're going on tour in the summer. You're on a promotional tour for commercials. Yeah. Yeah, man. We're really living at the top. We figured out our way to do the late night rounds. We're making our rounds. Yeah, so Well, Colbert traveling around while the방방방방방방방방방방 on Ned Flynn. It's gonna be wild. Kim's gonna kill you in the woods and then run for fucking six months? Yeah. Yeah, well, me and a laser were born on the same exact day three hours apart. Really? Yeah. So that's what made us go on September 25th 1990. Oh damn, if you want to get off the Social Security number two man. Same exact age. Same exact three hours. Wow. So the toxic twins man. You're bonded for life. Bonded for life, especially after that jetty spanking. Who is this table? And this is a real question. It's most likely to kill another human being. Lewis. I'm sorry Lewis or maybe. I'd say Kim probably Kim. Yeah, boyfriends are involved. Actually, I think me maybe. Yeah, I think Kim. Yeah, easily. I changed my mind to me. Yeah, I might change it as well. Kim in a rage moment is like no other. Yeah, you hulk out more than almost anybody. That's actually not true. Lewis hulks out definitely more than three of you hulk out pretty bad. No, but Lewis, Lewis is maybe a little more calculated. I think we all saw that with the two checks. I just like wearing purple shorts. Two checks kicks, dude. He kicked. He checked both those kicks. Oh, I have every one. I said one and a half. Yeah, sure. Whatever it is. But my thing is like Lewis went out there and like he wasn't in a blind rage. He thought better of it while it was happening. That's not really making me sound like a pussy, but that's fine. You saw what the guy had to offer. Your leg was hurting. You knew you couldn't win. Your leg was hurting. You knew you were out. I was more like the hulk, remember, and the one where he was like half nerd, half hulk. Yeah, that was me. You're like, I checked when Hulk can read. Right. Yeah. Must get back to making formulas. No time for hulking. You all hulk out your own way. Lewis needs some wronging. Justice needs to be justice needs to be with Kim. If Kim feels wrong, who is wrong, Kim will literally light somebody's car on fire. She feels justified. Yeah, literally. Yeah, but she really the question is, I do believe that some people in this world deserve to have their car on fire. Yeah, sure. Yeah. Okay. You got to know what we're talking about. Just most likely. Yeah, but not all. But how is it? Is it a coincidence? Is it a coincidence that four of them were ex boyfriends of yours? I've never lit in one car on fire. You got mad. I've never even hit Lewis. You got mad because it. Yes, you did. No, I haven't. It's because you haven't. I haven't. It's because he bobbed and weaved. Yeah, I did. I checked your kicks. No, one time. I threw a sweater at him and the metal zipper hit him in the eye. You should have heard me. And he's like, you hit me. And I was like, you should. I'll hit you. You hit me. How dare you. Oh my God. Is this who you are? That's how he did. He like went on a lifetime movie on me. I was like, shut up. The neighbors are going to hear. Call me Meredith Baxter Bernie because I guess I just got my ass whooped. It was literally the little zipper part, the plastic part made in China, not even real. I guess that you go. No, he did. I think he said the words. How could you? We were living together. I never thought I'd see this side of you. We were living together in Harlem and one time what did I call the cops? I called the cops on Kim. Dude, yes. Multiple times. No, you called out. I called the cops after the fight. No, that's it for time. But I called the officers help and they didn't help them. They ran out of the room. They laughed at me. They did laugh at them. They were not helping you. We're not arresting you. Yeah. Kim's 411. I ran up to them and I was like, she's going to kill me. They're and she was like, what are you going to do? You fucking put sort of yelling at them. And I was like, she's fucking nuts. Can't you see? And they were like, that's your problem. Officer Piedmont is it? Let me borrow your gun. They were kind of like, they looked at me and they're like, get out of here, cutie. Yeah. So, you know, I called the cops one time in Harlem to the apartment and then I went up to the roof and then she came up like five minutes later. I actually don't remember this. And you were like, you were like, they're taking me. They're arresting me. And then she did she played me so hard and I was like, no, no, they can't take you. I want to get laid tonight. We're supposed to have makeup sex. Then I ran down the stairs to tell the cops to take me instead. But she had already sure you did. She had already shoot the cops away. So there were no cops. She just had a zipper cocked. Take me. I'm I'm your she was testing you to see if you defend her. And you did and she's like, well, fuck you still. It was crazy. How did you guys ever break up? I think Lewis said key my car four more times and we'll see what happens. Good time. We had some fun. You stayed together just you stayed together just long enough that Kim could be in our lives beyond this. Yeah. Yeah. So it didn't just have to be as your girlfriend. Christ almighty. Well, at least y'all still friends. I don't know anybody I've done shit like that too. That I'm still talk to. They're both Hispanic and realized they're both just garbage. That's like normal. So they're probably the probably the really the best they could do for each other. Well, it's it's cool. No, we had a really toxic relationship and we realized we were better as friends and we get to look back and laugh at it. Yeah. Yeah. They both would have been dead in a fucking mall parking lot fight by now. Absolutely. I remember one time we were in a fight and you went to get out of the oh yeah, you were cheating and you would try to get out of the street on the highway. Give me your phone. I was like, I'd rather walk home. Open the door on the highway and got out and like literally like another dive out of the car on the highway and get any human being my phone. And then we both got silent and he just slammed the door and kept walking. And I was like, it's everything. Once they're going that way, they can't turn around. So I just started walking in the opposite direction. I'll see you in hell or when I have a new phone. He's thrown his phone. He smashed his phone in front of me once. Oh, that's the best. When they that was a fucking there was some kind of like somebody catching someone cheating on a boat video. It was a viral video and like to catch and the guys like fucks you. Let me see your phone. He just throws in the ocean. Now, it's all those commercials. I think it's your new phone. If you drop it with the phones, remember that Nokia brick phone that you could just throw on the fucking ground as hard as you want to. And it would never break the original. The one that had snake on it. Yeah, you could launch that motherfucker and he could still make a phone call. Oh yeah, absolutely. That thing was a fucking brick shithouse. Yeah, I could have gone through your phone. Well, hold on. Laser, was there more of a point or you were just asking if we remembered it? You remember him? He's talking about when you couldn't destroy your phone to stop even getting caught from cheating. But that was all the point was to remember it. Cool phone. I used to look at the remember when you couldn't you get caught cheating because you couldn't destroy your own. Anyway, Nokia is represented by Morgan and Morgan. So check them out. For the cheaters. Oh my Lord. Good times. All right, guys. Let's take a quick moment. I think Mando for supporting the show. We love Mando. Oh yeah. Get yourself to Mando and smell great everywhere. A lot of you guys just think of pits. Don't think like that. They do balls, ass all there under tit flaps. Go inside. Whatever you got your feet think try it. You're fucking that muffin top on your knee. You got a triple neck. Go for it. Look, Mando just doesn't master deodorant and prevents it 100% of study participants experience all day odor control, which is incredible. All right, do me a favor smell this right here. What? Those are my balls. 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So I have two months worth of luggage. Everything pretty much I own in love, which is what I packed. I knew it would be gone for a while. And Mike and Alex are picking me up from Lewis's and taking me to theirs and Mike says, can you leave your luggage at Lewis's and I'll grab it in the morning. Just take something for the night because we're boxing because Mike Harrington will get into it in a bit has a boxing match coming up at the snack fest this year with a very notable opponent. Is it story why you're definitely wearing Alex's shirt? Yes. It is. I'm wearing none of my own. I'm wearing Alex's shoes. They're two sizes too big. I'm wearing Alex's underwear. I just it all just dawned on me. I have nothing of my own with the placenta in it. This is an umbilical cordwood. So yeah, so he says leave them there and then this morning I wake up and I text Mike and said, don't forget my luggage. Smiley face. And then 10 minutes later he opens the door and he says the worst possible thing that could have happened happened to your luggage, which is like I'm not kidding. This is like raped. Yeah. It fell on a baby. Yeah. It was raped and beaten till near death, but still has to live with the pain. It was aborted. He pressed a red button in Russia. He was moving them around in the car and he took one of them out and put it on the sidewalk to put it in the trunk and then forgot that it was on the sidewalk and left all of my stuff on the sidewalk in front of the gym. Well, it's New York people who return it drove away. How do we live? Yeah. Once they smell your dildos. I do have like paperwork with like information on him. He's gonna get deported by ice. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I have like everything. And it's like, you know, you keep thinking, I keep thinking about things that I have and Alex and Mike are so sweet. They're like, we'll replace it. It's fine. And then I'm like, oh, I can. I got it. I got it for a memory, you know. Oh, God. Now you gotta act like you're not made in Harrington. So, so, uh, well, you gotta find them. That's gotta be uncomfortable to sit around all day acting like you're not made in Harrington. And Alex is underwear. While you're wearing his wife's underwear. I'm wearing Mike socks. Oh my God. Wait, I definitely some of his spit DNA in that underwear. I have a question for Mike Harrington. Hey, Mike, after you put her stuff on the ground to rearrange to make more room, before you drove away, did you think to yourself, man, I really made more room there? I didn't think it was good. I was actually worried it wasn't gonna fit. Now look, I'm really a master at rearranging. Holy shit. I really misjudged. Did you have any moment there where you're like nailed it? I had a no, I had a nagging feeling like I know I'm forgetting something, but what could it possibly be? I know I'm good. And I was, did you film all this with your fucking glasses? No, no, I'm not gonna be honest with you. I'm not enjoying the meta glasses in life. No, this should be outlawed. I love it. I want to I want to openly talk shit about people and not worry about somebody's glasses. You can see what you're filming secretly filming. Do we found out that like, like black glue on bonfires, like filming and releasing on his own thing, like while we're on commercial break at the bonfire. What the fuck is wrong with you psycho? That's crazy. He had a whole series. That's not that's that's insane. That's insane. He would just go. He would just go. Hey guys, let's be honest about black people. Dude, Harrington was in my house the other day for 15 minutes. And now there's a video on the internet of me throwing a football with will it. It's insane. He never said I had no idea. He's done championship form right now. Do with the shit out. He would have warmed up. It's fucking been the off season. You know, my cannon's a little light right now. He's just testing it. So yeah, all my stuff was there and it's gone. I don't know what it was in there. And I know like, I just don't know. It sucks. It sucks. The not being angry thing is a weird thing when I was when I was younger, way early in comedy. It's so funny. I was guy. I got a gig to go to Amsterdam in Germany. It was started the black circuit comedy, though, was for black troops black. They were setting black people to Germany and me and Tony Roberts and Marshall Brandon. And I was three years in the comedy, maybe this was a huge thing. And the night before I left, I brought all my clothes and it was unpacking for like two weeks, which is pretty much everything I own. I pack up and I come to play back. There's basketball league. They started the Boston Comedy Club at Chelsea Pierce. So I parked on the highway and went to play this basketball game. When I came out, trunk was popped, suitcase stolen. The next day, my grandmother gives me money so I can go buy clothes so I can have go on this trip. And I buy the clothes. I go out there. When I'm coming home, the guy takes me to the airport too late to check my luggage, which I was begging him not to do. I was like, please do let's go earlier. He's like, you'll be fine. And then I couldn't take my luggage. He goes, I'll send it home with Tony Roberts, who's literally one of my favorite comedians. And I was like, okay. And then Tony supposedly flew home with it. When he got home, I was like, hey, where could I get my luggage from you? He goes, oh man, it was I had it out. There was no room in my apartment for it. So I put it, I left it out in my hallway and someone stole it. Now here's what I know. He wasn't going to tell you immediately. Here's where I know what happened. What? He was just like, I'm not flying home with this gigantic luggage. It's not mine. Yeah, which I understand completely. And it's like, we've just never talked about it again. I just fucking accept it's such an awkward fucking thing. So I'm saying the awkward every time I see him, again, one of my favorite comics, I'm always so happy to see him. I think he's fucking hilarious, but it's the same now. Every time you see Harrington, you're going to remember how he ruined your life. I just actually, I can't stop thinking about how you said is Jesus in my underwords freaking me out. No, no, no, no, no, it's spit spit. And it's just also Alex is probably thrown around and queefed us with his shoes for sure. Yeah. Oh, now Harrington's Jesus crawling up in your vagina. Yeah, you might get full ass jizz. Oh my God, you might get pregnant by a fucking thumb idiot. I got sloppy queefies. No, let me just say let me say this. So Kim, yeah, you told me this earlier. And you should know that Harrington didn't leave your luggage on the street. Harrington actually left your luggage in my car and never took it out of my car. So I had it the whole time. Are you joking? Bring her the luggage. That is not my suitcase. I swear to God. I swear to God, that's not my suitcase. I swear to God, that's not my are you fucking with me? I swear to God. What? That was in my trunk. I swear to God. That's not my suitcase. Oh, well, never mind. Are you serious? This is awesome. Yo, can I tell you something? Wait, wait, there's things that the guys fucking with me. There's I don't know any of this. I'll say something that cameras didn't catch. Bring that back. What's your case is that? Who's suitcases that? Oh, shit, that might be my sisters. Are you fucking kidding me? This is why y'all broke up. This is why y'all broke up. I gotta tell you something that the cameras didn't catch that was fucking phenomenal, especially because not Kim's bag is even if it was your bag, I was going to call this out because it was so funny. No matter what Harrington fucked up, no matter what. And then when he goes, it was actually my thing and we have it here. I looked over Harrington and I swear to you he was doing this. See, we played a joke with you all the time. Smoking up blood, he went, oh my God, no matter what, he fucked up. He's like, but it happened to be not as bad as you thought. And then it is as bad as we thought you fucking knit with. Where are your glasses to fill me your failures? Wow. So wait, so wait, you guys got to watch Kim go through it twice. Why are your glasses always filming me throwing fucking tight spirals right between the numbers so down then so up and then I literally feel like I'm gonna cry. You might cry. I understand if you were like, I have to go to sleep. You just gave her back her stuff. I had it stolen again. Can I say this other factor here? She's gonna fucking cry. Let me say this. So we were going to we were pranking Harrington because she knew about this earlier today. I told her that I had her bag. Yeah. So this is the first time she's seen that this is in her bag. And she's living the day thinking it was her bag. So then she told me not to tell Harrington because she was like, let's fuck with Harrington. But Harrington's my boy. And I told them that. Do you really have the bag or not? I have the bag. The real bag? Yes, it's upstairs. Are you serious? I swear to God, this is so many twists and turns. Do you have the bag or not? So many twists and turns. Yes, we have the bag. You have it or not? Yes. Show me. He has it in his car now. He took it out of my car. Show me the fucking bag! Bring me the bag! There it is right there. It's a pizza. It's a pizza. This is your bag? It's never the bag! It's never the bag! It's never the bag. I have a limited edition skim suit in there. I swear to God, I brought the bag. Wait, do you have the bag? It had a neck pillow attached to it? Yes. You get the bag. Monster! Why don't you let her come to tears first? Did you show it to me? Harrington has it in his car. Go get it! No, I need the bag. Go get it. Why you hooker hit that machine? I'm sorry. Go get it. That's up my place. Oh, fuck me. I had to bring it home. That was really fucked up. I'm sorry. Hey, I don't want to shoot on your luggage, backstories, but, and that's awesome that they have your bag here. But literally a week ago, I got a call from the Santa Play Police Department, a detective called me, because about a year ago, I got $2,000 worth of brand new merch starts, like stole out of the back of my camper. When I was up there trying to go see it. Oh my God, I don't even want one Uncle Laser shirt. I do. I bet they're pretty cool. It's like a whole wrestling magazine. It was tight as shit. I was proud. I'm like, I'm gonna sell the fuck out of these and dude, they stole it. And then they called me and they were like, yo, this Uncle Laser. I was like, yeah. And they were like, yo, we recovered your shirts, your merch shirts. It was like a year later. I'm like, shit. The cops. I said, this is Uncle Laser. Sword of God. Just like that. That's fucking wild. They actually did some work. They're like, how can we get to the bottom of who shirts these are? And dude, who, excuse me, are you the gobbly cooker? Are you the hamburger? We're really, we've missed missing some hamburgers in town lately. Is this Venice Beach Bugs Bunny? Dude, they called me and they're like, we found your shirts and I'm like, cool, y'all mail them to me? Or can I, how do I get them? And they're like, well, we can't release them. They're a part of investigation. And I was like, what? And they're like, dude, we set up a child predator sting ring, you know, and nine homeless dudes walked in with them fucking shirts on. They thought I was fucking in on it, bro. Swear to God, this happened last week. So your, your merch is a dog whistle for pedophiles. I've got nine different episodes on Chris Hansen Dayline coming out there. Have a seat. Chris Hansen is now uncensored, by the way, on, on YouTube. It was censored. Oh, it was very censored. Because now I guess come out there and he goes, and you say I want to lick your tiny little pussy. It's so fucking, he says all the stuff, it's so funny. It's so much better. Oh, it's so much better. I'm still traumatized, dude. Sorry, dude. Wait, why, we got to see that back, dude. Someone go get it. I need to see that fucking bag. In turn, get it from his car. Mike, if I see you eating and not getting my fucking bag, no, Harrington's, no, training camp started today. Harrington's on a strict diet. What's a diet? Not getting a strict diet of what? Invasive filming. He's wearing his glasses now. He's recording right now. Tits, tits. Evidence. Guys, dick for too long. Tits. I mean, can you go at the bottom of stairs in the subway and look up girl's skirts? Dude, he's about to instruct Josh to do it. Get the fuck, Harrington. He's not your fucking, Harrington, go get the bag. No, Harrington, you're ready. Josh, sit down. Josh, sit down. Josh, get me another fucking high noon, please. Well, he's working now. Mike, he's working now, unfortunately. Oh, oh, shit. His back hurts. Oh, Louis. Louis. Jay's the boss. Jay is the boss. Yeah, Harrington doesn't get president over what Jay says. That's crazy. I thought Harrington, I thought you were right. But Jay says no, so it's no. Josh, I should smack you in the face. We've been considering taking Harrington's word over Jay's. Throw him his keys like an old 50s drag race. Oh, he doesn't want to do that. He's trying to figure what that would mean. That was a great throw. Not about attabitation of that. Get the fucking bag. Alex, what the fuck was that? He should have gone a long time ago. I mean, I will say Harrington's here is just an observer and he's fighting on Kaleas or at Skankfest. So we're going to talk about that in November. That's in November. We have some time. Yeah, my bag's today. Wow. But you are going to be heavily rooting for Uncle Laser. Oh, yeah, after this. Yeah, for sure. I'm done. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But also I'm staying with them. So. But you now deal with Mike because Alex is your best friend. Yeah, and their daughter is my goddaughter. Right, but you deal with him. No, you won't help him. No, Mike's my best friend. Yeah, Mike's the man. I love Mike. Mike's the man who forgot my bag. By the way, you forgot at the very end, he just tried to pull like a last minute in her row. He goes, I've hurt my back. What? Cam Patterson in the shadows, guys. Come on, clap it up for the great Cam Patterson. Really considering giving up his whole career and making an appearance on the Legion of Skanks. Cam, you want to come hang out? Cam, come meet your son. Yeah, Kim's been trying to get a hold of you. You've been fucking white girls, right? Kim's been trying to get a hold of you for six months. Cam, get off it. I got your motherfucking baby, Cam. Get your ass over here, Cam. I got your motherfucking baby. Cam, you'd be right to run. She would be a drag into this shit. She would become Kim Patterson in a fucking snap of the finger. Are you kidding me? This fucking climbing asshole. She'd leave us. Why'd you stop wearing sweat? Why are you jealous of Cam? Why'd you stop wearing like them white shirts and sweats? Why'd you get that? Yeah. Okay, yeah, you did. Are you wearing slides still? What the fuck, dude? You change. Life's different now. He used to wear slides with socks. His feet look like one of those pants. Grab the ball. Now he's wearing gators with Mikey Day. He is wearing, this is literally what I've been here for 12 years now. Everyone you could tell who got SNL would they show up in the week with just sweatpants at night in Manhattan. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, I think you're like, you just got SNL? Like, well, how do you know? He lets the crowd know. Stop putting famous fucking pressure on me. Everyone that gets SNL and black people. Where's sweatpants at night? And all black people. Yeah. It's great. Dominicans are in due. Black people are going to do a good pull off sweatpants stylishly. Cam, run away from here until, uh... Jam, enjoy your job, Cam. But it's teal. Like, why would you wear teal? I thought it was more like a lavender. Cam, come back. He's gone. Gone. He's gone. Yeah, might have felt. Segment? Right of feeling. He's upstairs warning Marcelo Hernandez. Holy fuck. Well, we're waiting for Harrington to come back, uh, with this bag. What if the odds Harrington does not come back? What if Harrington lost the bag on the way? I was just thinking someone should have gone with Harrington in the bag. What if Jake intercepted him and just slashing throats out there? Wait, wait, what happened to Jake exactly? Oh, we don't have him here. He's gone. He's done. He was fired. He was fired. He was fired? Yeah, Jake. He was fired last week. Sorry. Last week. He had to win a contest. He was supposed to win. You know, we'll take a moment while we're waiting for Harrington to come back to plug that real quick, where we are looking for a brand new intern on the show. Josh is leaving. Uh, I don't know where Josh is. He wanted to check on Harrington. Oh, Christ. He's probably Harrington still. Josh is leaving. He asked me, he goes, you better get up here. I'm going to punch you in the face. Josh is leaving at the end of the month. So he's got a few weeks left and we are going to need a new intern. Here's a twist on this. Badly. There he is. There he is. Josh. Josh, you're leaving. Yay. Five weeks now. Five weeks. Yeah, end of April. Why? He's going back to fucking Switzerland. Yeah. He's playing xylophone for Phil Collins. You look like a man that likes to garden. I disagree. I don't think he looks like that, man. Garden a little bit, but I don't, I don't like gardening at all. Really? whatsoever. My wife loves it and that makes my life miserable. You're married? Josh. I am. Josh, that dent in your chin looks like if I put a certain jewel in it, something will open in your forehead. Yeah, Josh, we are, we are going to miss you. I am going to miss Josh. I'm going to miss you guys. No, Josh, you're great, dude. We like you. Hang on, Josh Harrington. Did you do what you were told? Show camera bag. That better be my fucking bag. Oh my god. I hope it's not. I can't see. It's just a handle I can only see. That's my fucking bag, dude. Wow. A prank within a prank within a prank. Wow. That was an enigma wrapped in a puzzle wrapped in a mystery. Lewis, Mike, so well played. We made her, we made her cry. I mean, you did make her cry. At the end of the day. She was in legit tears. It really brought me back to when we were dating. Yeah. In hindsight, the game that is going to cry was when the stories told, the fact that you got to cry is better. Kim, I didn't realize you'd wet up. Kim, do you have hemorrhoids? Why are you doing that here? I have sciatica. This is nice. And there's nothing hotter than a woman crying. Or a woman wearing another man's jizzy underwear. You were told today you actually had the bag? Yeah, but I actually kind of didn't believe Lewis. So I was like, we'll see on the show. So then when we came and he was like, I have the bag and I saw, and then it wasn't the bag. I was like, oh, he really didn't mean it. We were playing it up and acting for Harrington. The whole prank was that she thought she was. But still the small part of me didn't believe Lewis. She thought we were pranking Harrington, but the whole time me and Harrington were fucking being real bros, and we were pranking Kim. Yeah, double agent. That was podcast. Number one podcast for Double Crosses. Lot of Double Crosses. Lot of Double Crosses. We have a couple of awards for it. Double Crosses. You shouldn't trust anyone on the show. We won three Double Crosses this year. Double Crosses. Kim, I didn't mean to make you cry. It didn't make me feel bad. It didn't mean to make you cry. So I put me feel bad. I know it made you feel bad because the reveal was so half-asher. Like, I don't know if we do. We have to watch your face turn. We have it. After that coming in. Wow, that really fucked me up. Wow. I'm glad it all worked out. Yeah, I'm glad you're wearing ounces underwear. I don't know why it's hot. It is hot. So Harrington, you and Uncle Lay is are fighting November 13th through 15th. One of these dates. Josh, Josh, you can get up. We'll get back to you in a second. Come over here, Harrington. Come over here. Come on. Uncle Lay just killed all three days. Best out of three? What? You're fighting best out of three? No, they're not. They're not really doing that. Why? Because they're pussies. Why are there too much pussies? Wait, there's best out of three? No, that's not true. Okay, man. There's too much of a pussie to let them do it. So. Because you got to get sanctioned. I like a best out of three. That's how it's fine. That's how you really decide. You can't be like cheap shot. You got me once. You can't even fight three times through. No, that doesn't seem fine. Why not? Just fight Ellis at the other one. Yeah, I was sure. I was sure. I was sure. Mike Harrington. Best of three. Best of three. Well, see, this is on game. Just hear me out, goddamn. Because dude, look, if I want to party, hey, I like skate fowl. Because I want to party and do drugs and have a good time, you know? Best of three. If I got to do that, I can't fucking do that until after the fight. No, you can't because you're a pussy. You can do both. A real man can do both. Right back to do both. You can go back to that little village outside of Houston and tell them you weren't man enough to handle three and run. You know what, goddamn it. Send the contract. I'll do it. I'll do it. Oh, what if you guys do all three and one dead? Just get them all banged down on Friday. Are you saying that just called rounds? Yeah. They do a, you guys fight till someone wins, then someone else fights and you guys go back in. It sounds like we're, those are rounds in a fight, dude. No, but if you get knocked out, you got to get up again. You have one other fight before you have to go back in and do it again. Yeah. You guys are busy thinking about three. Probably will just be two. It's the best of three. That is sure. That's a great point. Can I tell you, I had a real epiphany this weekend. Please. In watching that Alexa Grosso fight and the way it ended, if that girl got on my back quickly, she would fucking beat me in a fight. Oh, 100%. I would have said before. Now here's the thing. 100%. If we were face to face and she got on my back, I would slam her like Loki. Yeah, hell yeah. But if I just didn't see it coming, she got me. It's a wrap, dude. That was the fastest thing I've ever seen. Did you watch that? Yeah, where she hit her and then jumped on her back. Yeah. It was hot. Maisie Barber. What's happening? That was hot. Girls MMA. Her eyes were on the floor. Two knockouts in one card. That was crazy. And honestly, I don't know if I've seen it in a WWE event, but the girls' wrestling is better than the guy's wrestling. That's fake. I'm sorry. I know it's fake, but I'm just saying. I feel like I'm the first person who told you that with the way you were doing it. I'm just being excited. I mean, you're the one without really starting. I'm telling you, you don't have friends if you're the first person telling you that. Aw. No, they did. Now he's going to cry. Because the girls, because the girls, because the girls, they started wanting to wrestle and not just be valets and shit. Yeah, yeah. Lita was the first one to do that, and I thought she was hot for a freckly bitch. Yeah. Hot. Anyway. Freckles. Harrington's fighting a quay. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Sorry. Which one's more freckly? I hate some. Best of three at Skankfest November 2026. Best of three. Best of three. Agreed to it. Best of three. Best of three. Best of three. Three, four, five. I know I can get you. Three, four, five. I can't do that. Oh, that was my best bit. So, uh, laser. Yeah. Laser. Have you guys agreed on the amount of rounds you guys are doing and the amount of minutes? Look, dude, I don't do this. You know, I just, you know, so whatever, whatever's clever, I don't. All right. So what do you want? I'm going to do classes and shit and try to get like, in shape for it. You are? Or you're not? I have been. Yeah. You have been. Yeah. Wow. Shit. Yeah. Three, three minute rounds? Yeah. I'm going to do three rounds. Three rounds. Dude. Boo. I'm telling you. Boo. Is that what you really want to do? That's, I mean, it's. I mean, I was going to suggest to. Wait, by suggesting three, three, three minute round, even probably three, two minutes. I do three minutes a long time. When you get about 30 seconds in and you've just thrown the gas tank, like, dude, I was more worried about having a goddamn heart attack than fucking Jason hit me. And then he hit me in that my kidney and I was pregnant and like just fucking bowed. And I was like, that sucked. But like, it was more tired. He grabbed you by the hips and then he banged you with his hand. You're fucking, just don't hit me in that goddamn uterus again, whatever. Fuck him at first. That motherfucker. So if you hit that, you can't have anal sex with Uncle Laser. What do you think? There's a no anal sex clause in the contract. You know what? You should have my opponent last year. Ellis looked, he like, did a way better job. Right. So I'm. You fought Ellis? No, no, no. Ellis did a way better job of having asex with Laser than I did a butt fucking Jake. OK, hold on. A little embarrassed. All right. You said three minutes. He said two. Retort. Let's make a fucking fight here. No, retard. Retard? Two minute round. Whatever you want to do. The problem with two minute rounds is like, I don't know, dude, we get to the end of that. It's going to feel like we still got more in the tank. OK. How many of your train has anybody ever died of skankfist? No. Not yet? Not yet. Well, fuck it. You know, fucking Columbus took a chance. Let's do it. Yeah, I agree. I agree. Somebody dying would be good for press. Well, yes, a lot of people died once. Look, we'll do three, three minute rounds. And then if we can't decide, we'll have a fourth or a fifth. All right. Counteroffer. And that's as high as he can count. So we're not going past five. OK. And what day is that? What day is that fight happening? Uh, early. I think they should be the main event. No, I disagree. I think fight two or three should be the main event. I don't know if you remember, but just going to do it. So this seems like a Thursday setup. They're doing a best of three. And now I want to know. Best of three. Best of three. Best of three. Best of three. Once it's a chant, I mean, it's a thing. Tonight, best of three. I mean, look, dude, we'll just make it a thing, you know? At Thursday, Friday, Sunday. We have one fight this year. And then we have another fight next year. You know what I'm saying? I say, neither of you train at all and just fight three days in a row. Your actual weight. Cut the fuck out of the way. Your actual walking weight. How are you with your weight? Who are you fighting in the street today? I'm like, I'm like, one, one, nine, five. In fact, surprise fight. I plan to be around, I plan to be around like, Oh, we have to be standing away to you. How about this? How about this? Yeah, we just surprised them. They're going to a show. No, right now, let's go. You come with me. You're fighting. No, no, no, you guys are fighting right now. No one knows. So you got to go to all the fights, by the way, because this could be the one. We don't know. You don't know. At some point during the whole weekend, one of the fights is going to be the headliner fight. With minimal prompting. No prompting. Put on your shorts, dude. You guys are the next fight. That's what you got out of your mouth. We're going right now. We're going right now. You know Flyous House and where to make us box on a Southwest flight or something like that. Herit, how much are you weigh? I'm about 225 right now. 225? That's it? That's a fucking weigh, heavy. To 40 is about 225. How much are you weigh? I weigh like 200. But I'm going to be down about 175. I say that you make the 185 as the fight weight. Herit, you got to lose some weight here. I can get down 40 pounds in seven months. That's crazy. Yeah. Fight camps are usually 12. I can't do that, Ari Shavir. I put some money on it. Best of $300. Best of $300. Ari, Ari, Ari. If he can make 185, how much will you give him? Do I do $300? $300. That's not that much. No, I'll tell you what. I'll tell you what. Make this interesting. Wait, 185 pounds. How much do you have a scale ready? It's diaper. We need a scale. Get a scale. Scale. Now he doesn't weigh. He doesn't weigh less than what he says. So that's fine. 225 is fine. You got to get down to 185. 185. What is it? 27 months? I don't see it. What is it? Biscancfest. Biscancfest. That's November. What are we in now? April, May, June, August. Seven months. I only weighed myself in the show like a year ago. You won't. What do you want? What do you want out of life? You could be in my podcast. That'll help you get middle of nowhere. Ever travel anywhere good or have an interesting story? I can give you acid when you're least expecting it. He has done that before. Take the 300, dude. You got a plan. You got a plan to date for me and Alex akin to the date you talked about on Lauren Compton's podcast. You want to see Dolly Parton? You got to do something like that. Not that level. Something that level that you play. I'll get you something in town like that. Something so fucking romantic. You fucking dickhead. What am I going to do? What am I going to do? What am I going to do? Oh, yeah. I got your Michael McDonald tickets. That level. Bet Laser, getting my dick sucked by a porn star in a podcast? I've been doing that for 2017. Oh, man. I'm good. Whoa, dude. Let me do something. All right, Ari. All right. Ari, you lost that one. It's back, man. I'll fucking dick, dude. I'll suck it so drunk. Ari, I know all the moves, the twist sideways. I know all of it, dude. I will work to please you. Yeah, wear the hat, though. But I'll get you that dick. I'll get you that dick. I'll get you that dick. What do you give me? Because let's get some more What's More Real. Ooh, what are you giving up? What are you giving up? I'll skin it again. My first bowler? I don't know. Your first boner? Ari, isn't that? Your current child? I'm confident. I got this. Too long. You should've seen the next one. So it's like, you don't have to get a tag. You could've also just done like $400. I got one. I got one. No, I got one. Naked roast this year at Skangfest. If you don't get there, you stand there the whole time and say nothing. No, let me roast him. No, no, no, no, roast. Let me roast him. Just let me roast him. You stand there naked the whole time. You say nothing. You just stand to the side in the light, naked the entire from start to finish. Before you answer, I'll just say for me, I wouldn't take it. Oh, they're going to say whatever they want to you. No report, no retort, nothing. If I didn't take it, I would have strep throat or something before I went to Skangfest. Louis, no way I'm going. Question, Louis. Yes. Couple things here. Number one, Harrington doesn't give a shit about showing his dick to the crowd. I take my offer back. Nice. I take my offer back. I mean, I don't care. I take my offer back. He doesn't. What else? Hal, if I never see you stupid. He's got his dick sucked in a podcast before. He's not an extremely shy guy like that. That's not as big of a deal as you guys think. Okay, well, hold on. Make him naked roast Uncle Laser. And we'll roast against each other. Well, you better lose weight. But if you don't, I'll show my pecker on the stage again, dude. He loves showing his pecker. Yeah, I'm good with it. Okay, but do you know what I'm about this? For the part I said before, he's also standing the whole time, which is something he hates doing. That is true. That is true. He hates staying. That does make your dick look the worst, though. No, we have to make him do it. We have to make him do it. Make him roast Laser. He has to do like somewhat easy work. He hates that. He hates that. He hates that. Somewhat easy work. While he's naked. Not even naked, just some light hits the most. Some light lifting naked. He just has to remember a luggage. He hates that. You would have your wang out in front of 2,500 people. That's not a big enough punishment. Okay, I'm sorry. What are we saying? You're thinking what you think. That sounds like a nightmare for me. Make him naked, Rose. That would be great. I'm telling you, if I agree to do that, I'm telling you before Skankfest, I wouldn't go. Yeah, but that's you. Okay, I got it. I got it. You think Hampton's got a fucking big fetish? It's not about that. Some people don't care. Zach has a tiny dick. He just doesn't care. Okay, let's combine those two. Uncle Laser's got a sick dangle. I'll say it out loud. He's got a good dangle. My man. I also have a vein in the middle of it, too. It looks like the little thing Voldemort put on Harry Potter's head. Oh, man. I grew up by a power plant. It's not a big deal. Is that why you have the thunderball thing? It's for your dick thing? Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's a reminder that the scars are real. Every time I think you can't get any cooler, dude. Yeah, I gotta be. Every time I think I'll go laser, can't get any cooler to me. You guys look like your attack team. I know, right? That's cool. Father and son. I agree with that. I agree with you. We should take the fucking... Hey, but in my defense, I want to say something about that. Me getting my dicks up on that podcast. Please? What? Because I appreciate you. You know... I got your back because everyone's sort of trashing you. Because they're fucking trash. Because look, I'm bouncing. She looks a little down. You know... She looks a little downsy and a little bit like a trail. I am beyond God damn it. She wasn't... Lewis didn't... What? I wasn't... Lewis, to defend you. My concern about it, which I said when we saw it was, is that fucking you up for something down the road? Because you have your dick hanging out. That would be my concern. But I've been having my dick out on my only fans for a minute now. So what? So I was already... I was already... Look, we've already laid in bed with it. Fair. We better make it up. Whatever. Listen, I say that about 80% of Legion of Skanks catalog, as I go, we've made our bed, dude. It is what it is. Yeah. I mean, look, if you're going to do anything, lean the fuck into it. Like, who else? Y'all think anybody's going to get you the dick? So I'm probably going to do that. You know? I can't argue. And I'm going to do it again. You know? But... So the board of... Dude, you're a hero. To some... I start crying again. In some cultures. Absolutely. You know? But like... It's beautiful. You might be knighted in fucking Europe. Slovenia. It's just that... Slovenia. Slovenia. Slovenia. Slovenia. Yeah, that's it. Sir Uncle Laser. He really thought about it, too. Yeah, like, he could that do it. I got this little midget friend. This little Canadian, fresh Canadian. Oh, whoa. Who doesn't? The fucking stuff with you, dude. Little person. Dwarf? I'm sorry, guys. Look, I don't know what the fuck they called him. Look, he's short. He's a midget. He came right right at the county fair. Whoa. Okay. Look, Lewis is trying to get it. He's up for an NBC role. So he's trying to get it. Okay. But I'm a midget. But like, he goes on a podcast and he gets the fuck Bonnie Blue and like two other finance porn stars on this podcast. And I'm like, hey, man, I know that. I got to fuck Josh Blue on a podcast once. You know what turns out? He can't fight back. Man, some of these podcasts, you really got to get the video. And staying stop. Takes fucking nine years. Me getting sucked off by Josh Blue on a podcast. I'm the only fans portion of a podcast. Same day he did Howie Mandel's podcast. All germs, no germs. We do fucking like. That's a rotata one, right? When I get there, he's like, I got somebody for you. I got somebody for you. And I was like, all right, cool. But I'll get my, you know, I'm like, I'm not a porn star, but I'll fuck somebody on camera, you know. And when I want to get there, I'm like, I'm like, who's assistant is this? And she's like, hey, I'm Coco the porn star. And I'm like, what is this? Bring your kid to work day? What is this? Because she looks young, you know, but she gave me a lot of cocaine. And like, we're hanging out. And she like that. How young could she be if she had cocaine? I mean, fuck, it was the best cocaine I've ever done. There we go. She's like that. Look, she's the ninth biggest porn star in the world. She's nine. That woman is the ninth biggest porn star in the world. And by biggest, you definitely mean sizes of like her name. I can't believe she's not the second or first. Yeah. I'll tell you what. That's a fucking current Epstein like. That is so weird. No, but I know. No, but why? I'm saying why that's not weird. It's because she's 28. She's not 28. She's 28 years old. Not one person checked an ID. No, no, this is what this is. Oh, she actually said because she's she's she's she's she's 28. She's 28. She she's 28. No, there's 20 of her, he said, as we're in the podcast, as we're driver's license, said, Coco Bliss, as we're in the podcast, as we're in the podcast, he's like, Hey, man, you know, she said she fucking on camera. You want to do that? I go, I really don't want to fuck somebody's child. I don't want to do that. We're all god's children. We are. We just celebrated Easter. You'll just get sucked off by a child. But he was like, all right, you don't have to fuck her. He's like, but you won't get your dick sucked by her. I go, can I really see her ID? What's up? And while I'm getting blown by her, I hold her ID up. And a little, you know, so. Smart move. I know. Get it in writing, they say. Yes, it's that hair blonde, eyes crossed. Yeah, organ swore. Yes. Thank you. No, that doesn't surprise me. I'm surprised she's not higher up because, like, I've been on a few now, pedophile hunts. And I'm telling you, when somebody wears a laser's t-shirt. No. Yeah, the guys show up with your shirt on. No, I've been on a couple of them now. And I will say, like, whenever they fucking like, if somebody doesn't show up, if they have somebody like, oh, we've been working on this person for three hours. Yeah. Ah, fuck, it looks like they're not showing up. They go, hey, I'm 13. I'm home alone, super horny. It's just bding, bding, bding, bding, bding. Really? It's that easy. Also, imagine being a child with daddy issues, and the pedophile doesn't show up. I must suck. That is worse. Now you're suicidal. What do you say when you're on the suicide hotline on that one? He goes, nobody loves me, and then a fucking guy wouldn't fuck me. Well, no, that's the child not showing up, right? No, that's the adult. Oh, it's a pedophile. That's crazy. No, the pedophile does show up a lot of times. Oh, he just jerked off. No, man, that's all it was. He jerked off. He just was like, this seems too easy. He was like, oh. He was going to bring over pizza. What was I about to do? But I was at a sting house one once. They were like, you were going to fuck me. They'll play Dungeons and Dragons for like six hours. And two times, the guys didn't show up. And how fat, I mean, it's minutes before they can get somebody else to be like, seriously, they just fucking send it, and it's weird. When me and my friend Rachel. People are like, yeah, great. It's fucking wild. When me and my friend Rachel were 13, we used to go into the chat rooms, tell dudes we were 13, and we'd find like 30 or 40-year-old men that would want to flirt with us that lived in our town. That man was Louis. Yeah. And then we would tell them to meet us at our local park, and then we would literally go and hide and watch them look for us and then just kind of laugh and then walk away. Predator. Predator the predator, dude. Yeah, we were like, I swear to God, we were just in the bush. Predator the predator. The predator becomes the prey. We were just in the bushes like faggot. Imagine a fucking gazelle is just going up to a lion and being like, ooh, you like the way I smell? Meet me over in the park. We did, the local park in Sebastian, Florida. Look, I don't know if the petafelon shit is the same thing as the gay stuff, but I used to live with this gay boy. Wait, what? Just look, like, we're playing Call of Duty. It's not at all. How? He doesn't know if it is. Look, I don't mean it like, I don't mean it like the weird way. You can only count to five. I don't mean in the weird way. I mean like the availability of the shit, because we're playing Call of Duty fucking these kids up. I'm just gonna say it like that. I didn't think that's where that was going up. That's how I should have done that. I respect it. But he's like, hey, man, I gotta go down the road here for about an hour. And then he comes back and he's like, hey, man, we can use, I got access to the community pool because we live on the outside of the neighborhood. And I'm like, what? He's like, yeah, I just went over and blew the dude from the HOA. And we got, I was like, y'all just, you just went over there to blow him. I said, did you know him? He goes, no, I never met him. I said, but we need to get that pool access and something's coming. And he blew the dude in his driveway. And I was like, I said, you don't have to go to Chili's. You ain't got to do no stupid shit. Are you telling me that I can blow a guy and get access to a pool? He's a comic in Austin. Like y'all know who this is. I'll tell y'all. Tony and Cliff. We all know. Yes, we know. No problem, laser. I got you. It's very obvious. I got the town wired with my mouth. No question. Big mystery. Big mystery, Uncle Lazy. Y'all ready for the best nines of your life? I can get you a reservation at this restaurant and I'll let you know the maitre d' has a lot of fucking cellarine is dying. This is the youngest rising chlorine in all of the city. Oh wait, I should say before, because we do some plugs here in a second, but before we go into our plugs, we were talking about getting a new intern on the show. Oh yeah. You don't need experience. Here's what we're gonna say. You don't need experience. None of them have ever had experience. Some of them do. Here's what we do. Who has had experience? Alison the college board. Alison the college board. For what? Taking abuse from Lewis? Is that class? Basically, it's called shut your mouth and shut up bitch. Shut up from work bitch. No, no, no, we. Wait, for real, you want the college for what? Film school. Film school. Okay. It works. I'll allow it. So listen. What we usually do is we ask for people that have more experience, people contact us from all over the world. We don't want that. We want people that can be here. Yeah, we want people that can be here every week. You gotta live in the New York area. You gotta be able to come to the show to do the actual internal Olympics. Yeah. The internal Olympics. Spring turn. Let's think of the spring turn. Yeah. Spring turn. Yeah. Spring turn. Yeah. Spring turn. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Spring turn. Spring turn. Spring turn Olympics. Cuz Josh is me. Cuz Josh, he's goin' back to Swiss again. It's the front of방방방방방방방방방방방방방방방방방방방방방방방방방방방방방방방방방방방방방방방방방방방방방방방방방방방방방방방방 Come on, dude. Come on. You don't have to double clap yet, asshole. No double clap at the end. You don't know how it works. Fucking amateur hour. Spring. Turn it back. Spring. Turn it back. It's the spring turn. Spring. Turn it. With Arisha here. It's the spring turn. Spring. Turn it back. Good riddance to Josh. Spring. Turn it. We got to give a new spring turn. Fiat's course, Jake and Josh are four. Leaving the show, we gotta go. Spring turn. Spring turn, Olympics. Good job, guys. Good job, boys. Good job, boys. Spring turn Olympics. Spring turn Olympics, everybody. We need somebody. Listen, there's a glass ceiling. Those two are not going away. So you really, it's a part-time job. What happened to Jake will happen to you. They got to be in the New York area. They got to be able to come. We will teach you on the job. You have to be a go-getter. You have to love your fault. You have to pull you on your faults. You gotta wanna do this. You gotta wanna be around the skank. You gotta be a skank for life. We're going hardcore. If you're not a skank, you're not coming out of the park. Oh, are you a skank for a short time? And great news. No more Dave's. You can be a slut. You can be a hot slut. Yeah. In fact, if you're a slut, you'll definitely get through. Yeah, sluts move through first round for you. Just to make up for all the Dave's, we had to kick them out early. Fucking dumbass Dave. If you're Israeli, you can come now. Israeli's now welcome. You're allowed to apply. Israelis and Democrats. Email us at springturnolympics.com. springturnolympics.com with a one to two minute video as to why you think you could be the next Legionist skank's intern. Spring Turn Olympics. Spring Turn Olympics. So you spell that. Spring Turn Olympics. P-R-I-N-G-T-E-R-N-T-E-R-N Olympics. Spring Turn. O-L-Y. You got it. Like spring break. It's happening in the spring. You're going to have a link or we got to spell the whole way through. Spring Turn Olympics. Do you have to do W-W-W-DOT? God damn it. Just give us a link. So do a one to two minute video as to why you think you could be the next spring Turn Olympian. And we're going to pick people that are in the New York area. It's a great opportunity to work with gas, digital, and the Legionist skanks. And then maybe this is your fucking foray into a world you never thought you'd be working in. Lead with your tits. Lead with your tits. But if you have experience, it does help. Oh, yeah. It's showing your touch. The actual talent would go well too. If you have talent, you'll probably win. We didn't think that was possible if you had talent. But if you have talent, 100% show that. If you have any actual skills in the field, you probably will cruise through this. Can you type with the two words a minute? Yeah. Let us know. But if you're a slut, you're shooing. Allow it. You know what I'd say? We'll get to this in the first round by just showing us your asshole or whatever. Yeah, if there's enough slots, if you have experience, don't even come. Oh, slut turn Olympics. Oh, wow. Slot turn Olympics. Oh, slut turn. Slot turn Olympics. Slot turn Olympics. Hold on. Here we are. Listen to me. Slot turn Olympics. Don't you Dave Smith this idea, guys? Slot turn Olympics. Slot turn Olympics. It's just like the spring turn Olympics. Okay. It's all slots. Slot turn Olympics. Oh, slots. All the people. Maybe. Kill Tony as the two girls in bikinis. We need a slut Roman around this motherfucker. Slot turn Olympics. Kim, you gotta be a judge on slut turn Olympics. I like to throw a horse in the hat. Maybe. Oh, okay. I've already got a couple. I got a couple in the stable. Love to be here. Okay. Is there maybe there's someone in the crowd tonight that would like to be part of the slut turn Olympics? Yeah, what do you think, slut? You're that hot Mexican chick. What do you think? Would you join the slut turn Olympics, you pig? Slut turn. Come on. Remember you fucking jerked off a security guard to meet fog hat? Okay. Okay. Okay. By the way, anyone applying to be in turn Olympics, just know you are second fiddle right now to this new idea. All right. Let's take it now. Priorities. We'll hire somebody. You're not going to be on there. I'm telling you a slut. You cannot be a slut. Speaking of fiddling. All right. If you cannot be a slut. We need to get some slots in here. But if you're a slut, you're going to get it. I'm telling you, you're getting in. You're going to get it. You're getting in. If you're a slut and you can go get coffee and shit, call us. We need y'all here. Be the musical guest and the star. Absolutely. Come on in. Come on, man. Spring turn Olympics at gmail.com. We're going over the next couple of weeks. We need this before Josh leaves. We need to start this competition. Let's do some plugs real quick. Uncle laser, what are you plugging my friend? You know, you go and skip the first page. That's going to be really good. Check it out. Take a peek. I mean, look, take a gander. What doesn't hurt the goose is good for the gander. And then just Uncle laser everywhere. And then I got a podcast on YouTube. Spotify the drunk concord. Make sure to get your cats. Payton and neuter. Shout out Bob Barker. Nice. Guy was a good reason. Turns out. Kim Congden. Kim Congden.com. And I'll be coming to Florida in the summer. I'm going to be coming to Florida in the summer. I'm going to be coming to Florida in the summer. I'm going to be coming to Florida in the summer. I'll be coming to Florida in the summer with Uncle laser. Morgan and Morgan for the alcohol. I don't know. And Morgan and Morgan is going to sponsor the tour. Yeah. That's awesome. We're going to shuttle band. She's buying a dog. We're living in a band for the dog. It's going to be like the next Robin Big. We're traveling the world with Morgan and Morgan. It's called brother sisters. It is. It is called brother sisters. Sister brothers. We're high. I'm also writing a book right now. Blunt Force Trauma coming out in a few months. Is it Louis's life story? It's Louis's life story. From my perspective. This fucking fat piece of shit. Then he called the cops on me. Then I told the cops were taking me away. I can't believe how you would hit me. And he cried like a bitch because I threw a sweater in his face. Oh, a fucking zipper from China. That zipper hit me right in the eye. Wow. My corny, my iris. Send it down, you fucking. That's it. Wow. Louis? First of all, I got to say, buy your snack. I think it's April 20th. I'll be there too. Lots of fun and amazing comedians, guys. They go on sale at 2 p.m. April 20th. Get them quickly. They will sell out fast. We sold out the free sell fast to them. We've ever sold it out before. Lots of great comedians that people will be surprised. You never would have assumed it would be at Skankfest. But who? Gilbert Gottry. I'm never telling you. I've always told you secrets. You always tell my secrets. Tell me one. Nope. Tell me one and trust me not to tell it. Don't you dare. Any more if it's coming. No, you're so... I didn't think it through before you told me. You said you wouldn't do it. I know, but he didn't tell me. YoCranum.com presents Skankfest. Go to Skankfest.com. Get those tickets. I got one thing. Can I put one more thing? Please, why not? Because I'm proud of it. So April 20th, the same time that I'm taking this drop, the Netflix shit for Kevin Hart's thing will be on. It's going to be premiered on Netflix. It's going to be a big, big good thing. Like the last comic stand in such a... Let me type. I don't know if I'm supposed to say that, but I'm going to say it. What's the call? It's called Kevin Hart presents Funny AF. Yeah, it's like a remake of like the last... No, no, no. If he chose not to say as fuck, don't you say it? Funny as F. Yeah, thank you. Funny as F. Thank you, all right. I like Funny as F. Funny as F. Yeah. Dude, this show is funny as F. Come see me on the road. The ride will be this store. This weekend, I will be in Detroit. I have the Dojo of Comedy coming up in Morris Plains, New Jersey. St. Catherine's, Ontario. Toronto coming up as well. I'm making up those dates. Four miles to Florida or more. Go to my website, lewisofskanks.com. Sign up for my mailing list and check out all the other pods that I do. We're doing a lot of live story wars on the road. We're going to be in Los Angeles for the Netflix as a joke festival at the comedy store. We're going to be next month or... I'm sorry, this month. For Nashville Comedy Festival. Next week. Next week. We're going to sold out the mothership. Hell yeah, dude. May 21st. It's going to be sick down in Austin. So come check us out live on the road and subscribe to Gas Digital. If you love the show, we do a bonus episode every Friday night. The Friday night hang. Just for subscribers. Plus you get the uncensored and ad-free version of this show. Just for subscribers, you get an uncensored and ad-free plus a pre-release and a bunch of episodes that are not available anywhere else. Go to gasdigital.com. Use the promo code LOS. Save a couple bucks a month. How many bucks a month? Two. That's a couple. And buy my book Knives and Spoons on Amazon. I have it. I gave it to you. I have it. That's Lewis' perspective of the same story. Lewis gave me a book and did not sign it. What am I signing it for you? I don't know. That's what you do with a book. That's kind of gay. No. It's like that's the only time you can ever write a book. You know what I do? I just swap jerseys with no autograph on it. I took my book back that we brought here because you signed it. Well, you were in the book. You were in the book. I don't like that. I don't like that at all. But hold on. You were in the book. So I wrote you a very nice message. Okay. Why wasn't I in the book? And why wasn't I in the book? Because you weren't... It ended at 22 years old. Because you were in the police report. I met you before you met Jay. Because you were in the police report. I met you before you met Jay. You didn't meet me before I met you. I'll stick with it even though it's wrong. You met Jay when you were 22. I met you when you were still selling tickets. I met you. I fucking... I helped you pick out the gas digital wallpaper. Why is she not in the book? I changed your diapers. It only went up until I was 22. I also think I may have changed the diaper of yours. That's fair. How was Jay in the book if you were 22? Because I met Jay. It's right up until I met Jay. Wow, that's how you ended it? And then I met Jay. And then I met Jay. The end. And then it all gets good. Thank you. We should start a party. We should start a party. I'm playing up my man. I have a new television show called The End. Yeah. Thank you, everybody. It's a seven-episode show. Our long episodes starring comedians such as Big Jay Okerson. This is my crowd. Also myself. Nice. And many others. Also Rans. Such as Shangguilas and Nebar Gatsi and such. Yeah. And anyway, it's available right now. There's a pre-selection. There's a pre-selection. There's a pre-selection. There's a pre-selection. There's a pre-selection. There's a pre-selection. There's a pre-selection. There's a pre-selection. There's a pre-selection. There's a pre-selection. There's a pre-selection. There's a pre-selection. There's a pre-selection. There's a pre-selection. There's a pre-selection. There's a pre-selection. There's a pre-selection. There's a pre-selection. There's a pre-selection. There's a pre-selection. There's a pre-selection. There's a pre-selection. There's a pre-selection. There's a pre-selection. There's a pre-selection. There's a pre-selection. There's a pre-selection. There's a pre-selection. There's a pre-selection. There's a pre-selection. There's a pre-selection. Anyway, yeah, that's it. And I'm doing a storytelling show in Netflix, the joke festival, April, May 7th. We're also doing a legion of skanks, May 4th, both at the Comedy Store. We didn't announce that yet, but Ari just did. Ari did. Well, I wouldn't know. You guys were about to forget. That's what he's always represented on the show. Yeah, quality craftsmanship. Mayhem. Mayhem. May 4th. Oh, I should say this. Guys, guess what? May 4th, Los Angeles. The skanks are coming. Woo! Woo! OK. Woo! Yeah, that's great. Jay, what about you? You're all over the place. I am. Greatest Yapper live tour happening right now. Post are coming up soon. I can't put it out yet. Yeah, it's there. But I can't put it out across the board yet. Why not? Because I have some other things happening right now. Some really exciting news I can't tell anybody. It sucks so hard. But I hope Jay has cancer soon. I have cancer. No, I've got exciting news, but I will tell everybody. It's in the ass. It's in the ass. Jay has cancer. They dig around now, so that's pretty good. That's pretty nice. I have a reason to finger my own ass. You want to say I have news so bad, Jay, for the last three weeks, is going, I have news. This is a Jay. This is Jay. I have news, but I can't say it. Then why bring it up? I knew something happened because his gloves are pink now. His gloves are pink. Yeah, I'm like, he booked something. Things are different. He's opening for the pink tour. I'm going to be opening for pink on tour. He met her in a plane once. She said, I saw your podcast. Talk about that 50 times. By the way, I'm talking fingers about the baby. A baby blue. A review party. Yeah, that's it. It's the theater girl. Yeah, I'm all over the place. Orlando this weekend. After that, we're going to be in doing story wars in Nashville. I'm going right from there to Kansas City to do the improv all with funny bone. Sorry, it changed all weekend. I'll be in Las Vegas at Wise Guys Comedy Club Providence, Rhode Island, so much more in Hollywood. Of course, we're coming out there to do story wars. Skanks and skanks. And skanks when? May 4th. And you're in Austin. Austin, so much shit coming up. Look for a senior you on the greatest Yapper live tour happening right now. I got through it. I didn't do it. Yes. I'm not sure about how I could do my storytelling show in Los Angeles. Probably. I'll ask you after the show. Okay. I'm sure I can. Check me out at RE Storytelling Show as well as Legion of Skanks and Story Wars and so much other fun stuff. And then of course, listen to Story Wars and the Bonfire five days a week faction talk series XM103 with me and the great Robert Kelly. Oh, my YouTube. Big J. I live stream and consistently. Check out my LinkedIn. Check out my LinkedIn page. I'm looking for some paralegal work. Grief, find our old My Spaces. Check out my YouTube. Is my space still up? Yeah, it's up. Check out my My, I bet you're my top eight. How do you get in? I wouldn't know. I would be terrified to see my My Spaces. Are they still up? Find a kid. Go to My My Space. Don't pull My My Space. Go to My My Space. Although my friend did just send me a bunch of pictures of me when I was 15 and we were trying to take like sexy bathroom pictures together. He said the best. Every way you roll the dice, you come to Florida. I can make a lot of money off of these now and it's just me. I'd be the victim. Anyways. Yeah. Man. That was a joke. Yeah. You are Florida to the con. Let's say Lewis is my son. To the con. Do you guys have it or no? It looks like it exists, but everything's been deleted off. No. I'm not going to use it with my pictures. Tom. Where are you? My Spaces are all still up. Oh no. Yeah. Your top eight showing though. Hold on. Who is it? It says Post Malone. Who? Beatrice. Post Malone and Beatrice. There might be people who. It's fine. Can you zoom in? Dave Smith. Dave Smith. No, it's great. That's great. That's great. That's great. That's great. It's so cute. It's so cute. It's so cute. It's so cute. It's so cute. It's so cute. It's so cute. It's so cute. It's so cute. It's so cute. It's so cute. It's so cute. It's so cute. It's so cute. It's so cute. It's so cute. It's so cute. It's so cute. It's so cute. It's so cute. It's so cute. It's so cute. It's so cute. It's so cute. It's so cute. It's so cute. It's so cute. It's so cute. It's so cute. Hold on. Go to video. That's a Puerto Rico. No, literally. Hold on. Pause. Yes. Zoom in like that. I like that. Videos. Go to videos. Go to videos. Hit videos. Let her feed. Okay. Go back. What? Uh, yeah. See connections. See if anything. They're about to get kicked. See? I'm telling you. Wait a minute. There's always something. There's always something. Oh, what is this? It's just straight chicks. Who's that child? It is only chicks. Chicks and dogs. Chicks and dogs. Oh, shit. Okay. Wait. Go back. So if connections is open, there might be something else we can get into. Zoom in. Zoom in. Kim, how do you know? Enhance. She's a woman. Click photos real quick. Kim is being triggered right now. Oh my God. She's hunting for support now. Can you move around after my space? You can't get retroactively managed. I have my space. And I have a... Hey, can you post a photo right now? Can you? I mean, it says post photos. Post. Post. Post a photo, please. I mean, see if that's possible. Well, you have to log in. You have to log in. What does it say? You can go to Louis J. Gomez, MySpace, and then just go to images instead of the actual MySpace. Because if anyone ever took a screenshot, it would have been uploaded to the Internet. Jesus. Who the fuck hurt you? Oh my God. It would have been uploaded to the Internet and not just to the Web. Damn, bro. Oh my. I don't know. It's making me feel uncomfortable that Kim is looking through my stuff. She's such a pro. Give me your phone, actually. But your connections, I wanted to go through more. I think Stacy Kebler was in there. Wow. Wait, let's see everybody else's. Let's see everybody else's. Who's hot? Who's Stacy Kebler? What are connections, though? People you follow, I guess. People you are poking or whatever. Where he poked. He poked Stacy Kebler. That's what you'll try to poke here. Louis Grover, please be Louis. Zoom in. Make it bigger, guys. Make it bigger. Christ, who obviously. Also, we should see who has the most. Nice. David Tal. Nice. David Tal, number one. Jay. Keith Robinson. Yeah, it's a. Justin Chaffin. Justin Chaffin's hilarious. Oh my God. Who's that? Wait. What's that? Who's that? Who's the second one? Who are these people? Who's it? Flushing. Bill Burr. Bill Burr. You fucking. Jay. He's the only one. Let's see Jay's connections. Yeah, who's my connections? All chicks. I don't know. Scarbelly? Manhattan Corner is such a great corner. Josh Snead. I don't know if your connections are people you follow. No, I don't think they're either. It's not a good stuff. It's like algorithmically people that you. What might like. I'm telling you, you guys are doing this the wrong way. But there is now. You Google it. Bill Michaels. Remember Bill Michaels? Nope. You wouldn't. Our audio fans are going to kill them. Okay, okay, okay. Who are the last connections? Yeah, the top eight. Top five. Mine. We got them all. We got mine. Yeah, yeah. Let's see. Yeah. See you. We're the same age. Oh, right, right, right. Yeah, but I went by a different name. It was a whole different life a long time ago. You went by nephew laser. I don't know if we can legally look that shit up. Hey. Your top eight is like John Gotti. Weird names. Yeah, the Iceman. Stone Cold. It is like Dylan Klebold. The fucking Columbon kids. All right, let's take a quick moment to thank Body Brain Coffee for supporting the show. Body Brain Coffee, not just coffee, but coffee blended with adaptogens and neutropics that will help you be the best version of yourself. It supports testosterone naturally. Naturally supports brain function, mood and memory. Genuinely makes you feel good, whether you drink it hot, cold or in your protein shake. Jay, he shoves it in his ass. It's not a thing that I'd recommend. I'm not using it right now. I'm doing it right now. How does it feel? Alive. I feel alive. Jay's ass. His ass is full of testosterone, they say. Oh man. I think it's raging. Look, we have a pretty cool deal right now. You've probably heard me talking about Body Brain Coffee for a while now, but we're about to launch Body Brain Creamer as well. So this is the deal, right? Go to BodyBrainCoffee.com right now and save 20% by using the promo code LOS20. We're going to give you 20% off your order today, right? That's pretty good deal. Thank you. If you subscribe to Body Brain Coffee to receive it every single month, you're going to get not only 20% off, but you're going to get free shipping and we're going to give you a free sample pack of our brand new Body Brain Creamer before it's available to anyone else. That's a steal. It's a steal. Once again, BodyBrainCoffee.com, LOS20 for 20% off. All right. Where were we? Today's episode of Legion of Skanks is brought to you by Sheeth Underwear. God, legitimately, it's my favorite underwear in the world. I brought this all over Latin America. Literally, my Sheeth Underwear. I'm going to guess here. Look. I'm hoping. Yep. Mine too. Always. Let's see it. Let's see it. You're a fucking loser. You guys wear them differently because Ari needs a pouch for his gigantic ball bag and massive cock. I mean, I can only imagine how wonderful it must feel. Bro, every day I put my sheath on, I think about how great it would be to fill these two pouches. Like they are full. They do. That seam does not rip. Pounds and pounds of balls in there. Finally, they have some real testimonial. I have to get my dick full on rock hard to she. Yeah. I have to prepare myself to let it. I have to let it get soft to about 30%. So then it looks still she. When I put my balls in there, there is a sound made. Yeah. When I put on my sheath underwear, it's like I'm teasing a pussy. You put it. It's just like, shut up, Ari. They go from. You don't need to use the sheath. You just use the regular underwear like me and Jay make your fucking back. They really do. They come in all sizes from extra small to three XL. If you're trying to show off though, it combines your bag and your D. So chicks just think it's all your D. I know. You look like an underwear model. It must be amazing. I wish that. They also have sports bras and women's underwear for the ladies. We have to. Fuck cares about that. It's a mean Jay after wear. We're fucking pussy. We're the pussy stuff. At least you get to see my camel toe if you're not going to see my dick bulge. Right now, if you go to sheathunderwear.com and use code SKANX20, you're going to get 20% off your first order. Plus she's underwear 100% money back guarantee. How can you argue with that money bag that sheathunderwear.com promo code SKANX20 SKANKS. Colonel, I brought him all over the fucking globe. They're so they made my trip so much better. Thank you promo code SKANX20 over sheathunderwear.com. Check him out right now. All right, let's get back into it. Kim is getting a dog and we're all dog owners. Lazy. Do you have a dog? I did. Yeah. So we happen to move on. Good eating. I split with a lady that I was with and she took a rib of Macintyre. They split the dog. Little French boy. He got the head. Yeah, I told my man. I get to see her every once a month. We got co-parenting with a dog. It's weird, but I love that dog. I hate when white people co-parent a pet after a breakup. Just choose it. Pick and move on. Go. Obviously it's only one. You don't get to see it. Everybody knows the dog likes one person more. Let the dog pick and then don't have your ego in it. Do the old school... Can I come see you? Me and Christine broke. Don't count on it. She's not doing hesitation. My dad didn't see me. You're not seeing the dog. It kills me if me and Christine broke that the dog would have to go with her. For sure. But you still should be able to see it. You wouldn't just order out. You would Uber Eats. Dog? Dog food. You'd be like, I'll just get double what I'm getting. No, no, no. No, you're right. The dog would be right to go with Christine. Kevin's just showing me her 15-year-old bikini photos. Why are you showing them to me? Let me see them. Let me see them, dude. Let me see them, brother. Bonus check. Bonus check. What type of psycho goes, hey, look. Uh-oh. Uh-oh. We got a problem. No. Uh-oh. Bonus check. You have a boner? No. You kind of have come on your pants. Oh, you've come on your pants? Wow. Did you know wash your pants after you fucked with your pants? Just blow your wiener? No. What's up with that? It is just. Oh, yeah. It's obviously food. How's it obviously food by your day? Because I eat with my dick. Oh. Oh, dumbass. Well, then it would be obviously food. So, hold on. I thought of this hypothetical question because my dog center is a man. Okay. He's a 23-year-old. What? You're letting a man molest your dog? That's crazy. It's Beatrice's nephew. Is washing your dog? I won't. Yeah. He is. I will. So. It's one of the funniest things ever. Wait. Wait. Why? Because he needs money and he just reviews 23. Oh, the person at the dog. Yeah. Yeah. What's the problem? Here's what I was saying. If you found that your male dog sitter was letting your dog lick his balls and asshole. Is that what you found? No. Oh. He presented that weird. He said hypothetical at the beginning. He did. He did. I'm listening. Well, it seems like you're just trying not to turn him in for having his ass off. This is how much would a father be. Well, it's because this goes out of my head. A man, men are perverts. I wouldn't think a woman would do this. Well, my dog is a girl, so I would be really upset. Like father of daughter. My daughter's a girl. No. Yeah. No way. No way. You just said it's crazy. If I saw my dog or daughter licking their babysitter's asshole, I'd react. I know. You would have the same level of reaction. You hate your daughter. Let's argue that I'm overreacting for the dog. But yes. That's your only way. I think we're overreacting for the daughter. I think we're overreacting for the daughter. You're right. Honestly. She clearly wanted to suck balls. Yeah. Dude, she was making the decision. Let's just like your mom with those eyes. I'm saying like, no, you would go into a blind rage if you caught your daughter being molested. You might kill yourself. Your dog, your dog, you'd like maybe call the authorities, but what do you even call them? You don't mean to start stabbing that guy? You call 911? Yeah, that'd be irate. You would stab him maybe? Fuck that killer. How maybe? The same maybe as if he was finding your daughter. Your dog licking his balls. Your seven-year-old daughter. Not now. Your seven-year-old daughter licking his balls. Your daughter now, your high five. My dog, my dog is like a dumb idiot kid, and it could be coaxed into sucking your balls. But it won't be scarred by it. Yeah, but they didn't even know. He didn't even licking my balls. He's not even licking my balls. He's not even licking my balls. He's not even licking my balls. He's not even licking my balls. Hope he doesn't say him dog tomorrow. He's not going to be weird if you try it. If you're licking my balls, he's not even licking some stripes or something. You tricked my fucking friend into licking your balls. Your dog's not going to go get on a strip of a little after that. It's not even tricking. Jay, you're dumb. They're just showing your sweaty balls. They choose to do it. No, they don't know. They put peanut butter on it, and they're keeping my answer. She's not. Jay, the next day, she's not like, oh my God, I feel weird. It means nothing there. I am. I can smell the peanut butter on her breath. I'm fucked up about it. That dog, I licked it. I make that dog licked it. He's like, my daughter doesn't like my face. I make that dog lick my face 100 times a day. That dog, that dog just goes, Jay, Jay, cool, man. It's cool. Stop, Jay, stop. I'm telling you. I love Jay. Stop. I love peanut butter. I'm telling you, it's cool. Jay, I was licking my own asshole one minute ago. I'm like, this guy's balls, now I'm back to my asshole. That dog will be the same as my son. I'm telling you, I would leave it alone, dad. I acknowledge that I'm overreacting for the dog, but I would, as I rate. No way. I would be as it, yes. Then imagine getting your fucking shit kicked in by a guy in pink gloves. You'd be irate, but not bad. Right after getting your asshole licked by a dog. Oh, I'd be like, whoa, bro, let me fucking fight fair. Let me pull my pants. Especially it's like, we're talking about, and dare I say, licking balls. My daughter licking balls and my dog licking balls. I think I have the same reaction. You have to. Now, if you're saying like dog licking balls to like my daughter, like, Sounds like a kid rocks on. I'd be more irate at that. Dog licking balls, the balls, the balls, the dog licking balls. Dog licking balls, the balls, the dog licking balls. My name is King. Stop, baby. Dog boss. The balls, the balls, the balls, the balls, the balls, the balls, the balls, the balls, the balls, the balls, the balls, the balls, the balls, the balls, the balls, the balls, the balls. Alright. Yeah. You got bandit, you come on. You don't have a child. I don't have a child. So that's half. But no, the child wasn't even. No, no, but we didn't bring it. Jay was able to compare it to something. Yeah, it's a hypothetical little brother. Sure. But because you have a child, you would even go further and go, all right, it's just your dog. It's just your dog. Right. I don't think I would have a child. I would. The guy, let me say, if I caught, he could talk me out of even calling anybody. But all right, dude, just get the fuck out of here. What are you doing? You don't have that dog yet. Okay, hold on. I love her, but dogs knew. The dog was a new dog. She doesn't know. I don't know if it how short you've had your dog. I don't know if I would have felt that way at that point. Oh, I understand that. Like a new dog. You wouldn't. It's a very mature conversation. Like a new dog. I don't know. Depending on what the bond was quick, but like, I've had my dog now four years and like, yeah. Yeah, you make a bond with it. Yeah, for sure. Yeah, I got it. I thought it out. All right, please. I came home. Professor. The dog bandit is looking not a weirdo. Bandit's a he. Bandit's a he. Pretty much. She's technically watching your dog. Yeah. A bandit's a girl. Okay. Bandit's a girl. Yeah. But the find out. But looking. It's a woman now. I'm not a picture of the super hot guy or super ugly guy. I picture a mid level guy. Bandit's looking his balls. I think that you know and trust. I already know him. I know. It's my dog center. Josh. But that's how I know him. Yeah. No, no words in that. It's better if it's a close friend. Andy Haynes. Okay. Here's what I think. I think, okay, all those guys have been the same. I think it'd be so weird. It out. Who's in your top eight? I'd be like, let's get the fuck out of here. I want to fight them, but I wouldn't. I get them out and then I wouldn't do anything. They, I think they'd be embarrassed. They'd leave. And then I think I would look at bandit different. Yeah. Yeah, you're right. I think I would lose respect for her. Fucking taint his fruit. That does happen to rape victims. Yeah. And it's like, I know it's not her fault. I know she doesn't even think anything, but I would never be able to like see her again the same way. She's used goods. And then I would wish. Used goods. I would wish I had a reaction like Jay and I would hate myself for not having done that, not being mad enough to defend her. And I would hate myself. And eventually I would murder suicide. I think that's what will happen. I'll be honest with you. That's the second most rational reaction to this. Goddamn. You think hers is more than mine? I do. I do. I do. I think, I think doing a homicide. I was fucking all. A murder, suicide. I didn't look far enough ahead to be like, you're right. I'm going to kill this guy for raping my dog. Question. But now my dog's just this like fucked piece of meat. Just a fucking, a nature's left over. I'm trying to add another question. A nature's left over. She looks at me with a face of like, why weren't you there to protect me from this happen? Yes. Jay. Let's say now the dog center. Cute white woman. Okay. 28 years old. You just trying to kill me. Okay. So what we're probably going to do here is I'm going to ask her out. Turn this whole thing on a time. Wow, Louis. Now they're right. But technically really thought about it before. So now we'll have to really think about it again. And this is still hypothetical. I got some thinking to do. This is still hypothetical. I assume still. Hypothetical. I assume. Wow. So you come home. I never even bad around the idea that the person was white. You find a white woman. A white woman. A white woman. Let's say a six attractive. A six. No. Six and a half attractive. True seven. True seven. True seven. True seven. Make up off still like nice. So a hard, a hard, a hard six. A hard hard. Soft seven hard six. Okay. You find that dog. Say it dog. Have we negotiated down to soft seven hard six? Something that like you don't have to be drunk to fuck. Hard seven hard seven soft seven. We're talking about like a generally attractive white woman. You would fuck this woman. You didn't have to be drunk. Louis. Louis. Kim above or below? Oh fuck. That's hard. That's an easy. Kim's a 10 so below. Hey, you can get hit with a close. I got to say that. They say the clothes. It must be Alex's clothes. Guys. Hugging him curve. Where's my luggage? That was a close one boys. Sure was. Sure was. No, here's the thing. It turns the whole idea on it. Okay. Let's do it. I'm telling you if my came home and I found a video of my female dog. Cute. Having her fucking. You're right. It was cute. If she's ghastly, I'd be like, why would you put my dog in a disgust? I'd be worse mad than if it was a guy. You might be right. Oh my God. You're fucking like a disgusting animal. Man, now I'm mad at my dog. Yeah. Now I'm mad at if the dog would still do it. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. The dog. I said, listen, I know you're a dog, but you still understand God's rules. Yeah. Like, know your worth. You know what I'm saying? But you're right. But what if you walked in and your dog was doing it, but he was also using his paws? I don't mind. Well, my dog's very handsy. I will say my dog's handsy. He's got it figured out. If my dog's paying attention. You got a white peanut butter out of his paws for like an hour after that. Christine, you got a picture of me fucking your dog pretty much. I will say this, but you definitely have to. We don't talk about that. It's a court case. I'm going court case. I make it hard with her. But if it's a girl, I mean, you come home, you literally, you just covet that video and hope she does it next time she dog says, yeah. And you jerk to it. You jerk to it. You jerk to that video for sure. It's crazy different. You're lying. Anyone's lying at it today. You're fucking. I'm not joking to that. Oh, you're not. It's definitely a moment where you're like, what the fuck's going on? You don't have a dog where you're like, you don't have a dog, Kim. So that's why you don't have a dog. Everybody have a dog here besides me. You're getting a dog. I am getting a dog. Yeah. Wait till you get a dog. I'm stoked about my dog. Before you say something crazy, she's getting a Rhodesian Ridge bag and she's naming it Pete. And that's a stupid. That's a stupid. That's a stupid. Dude, that's an African bread lion dog and you're going to name it some middle-aged white name. Okay. I'm not going to go. How about Kanda? How about Pete Chala? Or Zephyr or Zeus? No. Why are you? Why are you gay? Why are you gay? Why are you gay? Huge. Why are you gay? Yeah, she's going to get a giant scary dog. That's a big ass dog that's like a huge one. Kim, Pete, suck. I don't care. Okay. You don't care about your dog. You're not keeping him. You're renting him for like six weeks. It's crazy. It's crazy. You're going to name Pete. You're wearing Steve's clothes. Peter Eakin. Peter Eakin. That's calm that. Okay. Clap if you hate Pete. That guy's a faggot. Look at him. All right. So take away one of the claps. Yeah, take away one. Okay. Clap if Pete's cool. Wait, wait, wait. Okay. Hold on. Hold on. Now that you've had a chance to think about it, I'm going to ask you both the questions again. Pull up a picture of a Rhodesian ridgeback and then imagine him saving Pete. That's pretty good. That's pretty good. And imagine me going. I think it was too close. I think. Imagine me going. Get him, Pete. I also imagine his name is Wakanda. Get him, Pete. I think it was too close. I think we should now have to, we should have to, we should have to flip Josh like a coin. The sooner thing we're doing, Josh. We're not flipping a coin for my dog. That's a terrible picture. It's not a Rhodesian ridgeback. It doesn't show scale. It does show scale. That's not a 40 pound dog. Those dogs are like 180 fucking pounds and they're built like a fucking house. That's not Pete. No, that's Brick. That's not Pete. Yeah, Brick. Brick is a nice dog. I don't mind Brick. His name's Pete. Yeah. Wait, oh, she's gone. There she is. She's up there now. Dog. Now hear me out, Kim. That bitch got my dog. Understand once you clear through the smoke how funny this is, have you thought about naming this dog the hard R N word? Kim, have you? You don't have the dog for more. I can do that as a middle name. How long do you have the dog for? For real? How long? What? Do you, will you have this dog for? Till it dies, dude. They're just giving her dog? You're going to kill it in six weeks? No. I have to wait. I have to wait eight weeks. He was born a week ago. And then you get it out on the tour and take him home with you? She has it. But then she also told me she's going to bring the dog out on the road with her, which we hate. We all hate that. I don't care, man. I got to be on the road with you. I'm going to hate that. When Josh, Yedda Myers would bring us along the Stank Fessers, we all talk shit behind his back. Don't give a fuck. None of you know how to train dogs. I've never seen a comedian with a well-trained dog. Justin Silver has a well-trained dog. Comedian. Oh, my God. I'm just kidding. I'm just kidding. I hope you guys can see this. Dude, I'm just a silver nerd. I'm kidding. You're just a silver nerd. I'm kidding. You're just an Aaron Balau. You're fighting Justin Silver at Stank Fessers? No, dude. I actually have to hit him up to help me train my dog soon. Yeah, Aaron Balau's got a trained dog to tell his joke. You should fight Aaron Balau at Stank Fessers. Your dog should fight and then we'll all wave money around like Michael V. I'm not fighting anyone. And I'm getting a dog and his name's going to be fucking Pete. You can name it that. Everyone won't respect you, but you won't care. I think Uncle Laser said you should let your dog attack Aaron Balau. Oh, my dog could fight his dog? Yeah, he's got a golden retriever. This fucking golden retriever. Will you train your dog? What's your plan here? Yeah, I'm training my dog. She thinks she's going to be the one comedian that can train her dog. I literally taught Lewis's dog how to roll over in like three minutes. Wow, Lewis took full care for that. She could roll over? He taught an old dog how to do tricks. He already knows the tricks. Oh, then if he was rolling over. She did not know how to roll over. I taught her how to roll over. She kept her rolling. She didn't do it by herself. She kept pushing her. Did I teach her how to roll over or not? No, I put her on the corner back.방방방방방방방방방방방방방방방방방방방방방방방방방방방방방방방방방방방방방방방방방방방방방방방방방방방방방방방방 day Easter Sunday Kim. I'm related. Do you think your pussy heat is heating up Harrington's jizz in those underwear and making it liquid form again? Yeah, like a pastry. I hope it's not revamping. Regenerally terminated to fault it out. It's growing. It's an incubator. It's like when someone accidentally hatches a chicken egg that they bought. Petri dish. Did they release the video of the guy, the male dog sort who did this? Wait, there's a guy. Wait, wait, wait, no, no. I got an answer. I thought about it. I've got an answer. What would happen with the female? Yeah, two ways. One also be like, what the fuck? Ah, fucking get out of here. But if you're saying she's a hard seven. Yeah. It might it might go. What the fuck are we doing? Let me see what you're doing in person. Look out on video. What are we getting into right now? Me. Show me. That's a tough one. No, that's my dog's getting some daddy's got to get a little taste. Bishality is not. You look at her. You snap her fingers. You're like spit. Yeah. And then I just like better. You don't go anywhere. Bishality is not. I'm not saying it's a bright, but I'm not even saying it's hot. I'm just saying if you're caught up in the moment, if you got a girl on your ring cam, getting their pussy lick, you're not punching her. I call you're not calling the cops. You get nobody involved except me and her. Would you say anything to her? Or was just like, oh, I'd say something, but I would make it clear. That's me. To continue in actuality. You go. Hey, hey, get get dressed right now. You're going home to the dog. You're out of here. Get out of here. Poppy, you served your purpose. Now tell me if I pussy better than my dog. Let me smell your paw. You're out of here. Now let me lay back and let me know if I pussy better than my dog. Be honest. So now you would you eat pussy after your dogs lick peanut butter off of it is the question. Yes. So you're saying the peanut butter is gone. Yeah. Yeah. There's dog drool and peanut butter and rogue pussy. I put more on it and go after it too. Jelly. That would be cool if you put a GoPro on your dog while it's happening too. You know what I'm saying? Well, I have a question. I have a question. My dog. Yeah. After my dog. Yeah, I'd fucking go on to work on your dog because I know my dog already. Look at your dog. I like my dog's face. You like your dog's face. No, she looks my face. Yeah, I mean, I probably kiss her face a lot. Yeah, but she looks my face. She like your mouth. Yeah. Oh, so my point is I'll eat your pussy. Is your dog with your mouth? Not only that. Oh my God. I already said already some things with my dog that I wouldn't do ever. I lick Jay's dog's mouth. She licks and then I like I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, no, no, no, no. And then I go, she goes. And then she goes back in and I'm like, well, I go, she goes. No. And she leaves. It's awful. Wow. Or you're gonna choose you to Apple. You would love Apple. Why would you do that to your dog? After hearing that story. Oh, that's how they connect. My dog. That's how they connect. My dog's very pretty. He always gonna want to tongue the fuck out of my dog. Your dog is going to hold me down and I'm going to let him. Dawkins is a mature pretty. Dawkins is a big, strong bitch. Yeah. That means she wants it. My dog's going to be bigger than all your dogs. Yeah, it will. Wait, wait, wait, Kim, you're legitimately getting a dog off an ad campaign? What? No, it's not for the ad campaign. Oh, that's for the. They're already getting a dog. They're taking it on the tour of the ad. It's for the brand, which for the first time, Uncle Azar has just said he is not going to enjoy that one bit. He doesn't love this. Especially a puppy though. This is dog puppy for a year. It's so hard to dog every night. You better board it. After I hit him with that. You better board it, Kim. It will early years. That's why they single moms because like their kids are already fucking grown. Yeah. I want to do that shit. I'm telling you, it's going to piss and shit on the bus. Everywhere on that bus. I know what's going to happen. You got to go do some shit and I got to watch it. It'll be like being on a bus with Bobby Lee. Yeah, piss and shit everywhere. I don't. I don't. You guys don't understand comedians have the worst trained dogs in the world. Yeah, you're a comedian. People that teach their dogs how to behave. Even when they think they're my dog, my dog is. But comedians train their dogs to like sit and stay. There's no recall. There's no healing. There's no like being off leash. I hear what you're saying. John Wick camp. I hear what you're saying. My dogs are going to have a tough first year. Yeah. My dog is great when when Jay's dog comes over to my house for a barbecue. We cannot protect hot dogs. No, she'll just get them. Yeah, that's bad. My dog wouldn't do that. No, but good. It's going to take a while to get to that. I understand that, but I'd rather work for an entire year and have a really good dog for the rest. We're going to be on tour. We're going to tour. I don't know what to tell you. Just get Justin. Justin did mine. It's great. I can train a dog. Well, just get you. Justin. Have you ever done it? Hey, just get a American. I'm American confidence. Hey, Kim, just get a nanny that's 28 and wide with big old Danny. Just get us a little nanny. I'm not getting a nanny for my dog. Please. Maybe a big fat-titter, Danny. Just get a dog. Clap if you think I could train a dog. Now, Kim, you scared. I got scared after I started. You scared her by staring. Yeah. I felt that and I liked it. On the tour is going to be tough. Please don't bring that dog. I'm bringing it's my fucking tour. Hey, by the way, how long is this tour? As long as I want it to be, it's my fucking tour. How long is it? Okay. And dog gear, by the way, guys. We're doing a week in Florida. Fine. What does that week start? In summer, July. July. Guys, anyone who's looking for a Ridgeback in about early August, please check, subscribe right now to Kim's Facebook feed. Come and try to take my dog in August. If it's only a week, why don't you just, yeah, board the dog with a trainer? Because the dog's coming with me. Because he's going to learn how to travel with me. Oh, yeah. How old is he going to be at this point? Nothing. Old enough to lick your nuts. Zero. Bring the peanut butter. You can make it do whatever you want. That thing is wide open to suggestion at that age. I'll tell you right now, my dog is not even six months. It's hard. It's hard to do it the right way. Like back in the day, you just punch a dog on the head and you fucking punt him across the street. You can't. You said it recently and I'm always saying because I felt the same way and I'm happy I didn't. But like in the first two months of having Dawkins, I was like, I think we should, I think we made a mistake. Give it back. I think it's too much of a fucking thing. I'd say I think we may have bit off more than we could chew. I think it's too much. And then Christine was like, no, no fucking way. Don't kill dogs, Jay. She licks my pussy. I couldn't imagine now if I'm so happy we didn't do that. But I mean, yeah, right away out of the gates, I was like, yeah, I think it's too much. You're feeling yourself about to get attached like call it now before now. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's like right now we can take it back and I can go like, oh, it was cute. But I mean like all my well, the problem is when you have kids like now James is attached. I do you guys love your dogs? Oh my God. Yeah. No, you should get a dog. Look, I'm saying the beginning. I'm saying taking it out on the road where it might be a lot. Look, if you want to get a dog, come on, I'll have to take care of it. Get it one week. Get it one week later. Kim's got one week later from the train from the whatever the breeze. Kim's got a homey though, though, because like do the other night I was getting on some fucking this like real fine lady and she had like a friend that just kind of wouldn't leave and Kim's like, Hey, man, just take that room. I'll push these little two single beds together and I'll make her stay and we'll take care of it. And I said, what did you just say to me? She said, I know you're going to tell the story. Yeah, she's like, she's like, I'll lay on this motherfucking grenade for you. I said, I didn't say it like that. She said, she said, she said, call me shrap metal motherfucker. I got you. I speak uncle laser. I understand. Bro, because she came in like the little queen size because we're like splitting the room and like she pushed these two single beds together and finger brides to that woman until the cow. What? What? Take care of her. So I could find, I said, look, if you get a dog, I'll take care of it. Homie, you good people. I fuck with you, man. All right. Thank you. Kim, Kim, Kim, Kim, brother, sisters. You fingered a girl so uncle laser doesn't have to fuck her. No, no, it's like a fucker friend. Fuck a friend. So I can fuck a friend. So he could fuck her friend. It's because she was hot. Different story. Now imagine you have a puppy. There's no doing that. It's not happening. Just such a different story. It's such a different dog doesn't care one way or the other. It's such a different story. Now I have to have sex while I make eye contact with my dog. She's there with me. Yeah. Hey, Apple. I think all of you are just fucking your dogs a lot. I don't know what's going on. There's not a sexual energy with your dog. I would never, ever. Not do it. I would never, ever not have sex with my dog. What if it was just you once said. I would never stop. All right. Well, Kim, we're all rooting for you to get this dog. Thank you. And his name's gonna be Pete. All right. Let's listen. It's gonna be Pete. I'm not gonna change my mind. That's the right name. We don't mean that. I just want you one. Okay. I do mean it because you know what? The real right name is the one you fucking pussy cunt. What? Is that Hebrew? What was that? No, it's the one you want. That's the right name. Pete. Pete. Why are you laughing? Hi. Sorry. Is it rude to go pee? I don't know how they had to keep it. We're gonna have to show up anyway. Cause I'm gonna drive a 7-P-E. I have a big round of applause for Uncle Laser. Kim Tongdon. Dripping with Mike Harrington Seaman. One more time for Pete the dog. Pete! Pete the dog! Pete! Pete! Pete! Pete! Pete! Pete! Pete! We'll catch you guys on the Friday Hang later this week until then everybody. Peace. Pete. You've been listening to the Legion of Skanks podcast with Big J. O'Kersen. Did you suck it? I think I would instinctually suck it. Thick with three C's. Who else would be fucking over Lewis? Lewis Gomez. Lewis J. Gomez. You mother-sucker. Lewis J. Gomez. You're trying to watch a retard draw Swassica. It's hilarious. I'm sort of known as a point-corder podcasting. Being a fat gay guy is so fucking awesome. And comedian Ari Shafir. The Legion of Skanks podcast.