The Most INSANE Financial Audit Ever

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Dollarwise is finally here sending waves through the personal finance world. This is officially now the best budgeting app on the market and I'm giving you a special deal to download take a free three-day trial to test it out and then you get the monthly plan at a 33% discount for the first three months or the annual plan at an insane discount and most people sign up for the annual version and you get a lot of money and you get my detailed 30-day meal plan signed by me mailed directly to you plus the digital version of my cookbook for each recipe. Don't miss the opportunity of a lifetime. Download Dollarwise to start your free trial. Go to dollarwise.com or click the link below. Hi, I'm Jade and I'm 30 years old. Hi, I'm Bernie. I'm also 30 years old. I live in southern Indiana. And this is financial audit. Wow, thanks for coming down from the Midwest y'all. And also what do you do for a living? Let's start with you Jade in southern Indiana. It's not expensive. That is not an expensive place by any means. Yeah, depending on like the area. Nope, that is not an expensive place by any means compared to anywhere else in the country practically. Yeah, Louisville is very pricing comparison for sure. Okay, so it's definitely not expensive. So you should be doing okay if you're making halfway decent money. Let's see what you do. I just resigned from my job as a, yeah, I know. It was a field merchandising talent. So I traveled for my job. The hours were not making up for what we needed. Isn't that better than zero hours? Absolutely. Which is what you do once you resign? Yeah, no, I- Did you have another job lined up? I do. Okay, then why don't you tell me that that's what you do for a living instead of what you did? When someone asks me what I do for a living, I say YouTube, I don't say my sales job five years ago, six years ago. So what do you do for a living, Jade? I'm going to be starting as a business manager for a local small business company. Okay, what is, is that payment? The small business, I always get a little nervous on that. It's a salary, so it's 700 weekly. Okay, is that your net or is that your gross? 700 weekly. I'm going to say safely net. That's the safe answer is net. I would rather say net than gross. You would? Would I not? That's the safe answer? I don't think that would be the safe answer, but okay, times 52, so you're making $36,400 a year. Okay, but in that cheaper area, it's where it can come closer to working. That is still a difficult income, but we're a dual income household. We're married, right? Yes, yes, with a child. Very good. Oh, sure. How old's the kid? They're 16 months. How long have we, what's the gender? It's a boy. Yeah, little boy. Okay, okay, okay. I just want to make sure you said there. I wanted to make, see if it was transit 16 months already. Okay, very good. Yeah, I mean, kids are expensive, but again, cheaper cost of living area. How long before we've been married? We got married in October. October, yeah. This past October. Whoa, so after kiddo. Yes, yeah, we got engaged in 23. Yeah, back in 23. A spring of twerking and had kid and then got married afterwards. Interesting. Yeah. A little out of order, but that's okay. What do you do, Bernie? I work as a healthcare professional for people with that. Yes, you do. Mental or physical disabilities. Oh, shit. I was going to say that's why you guys, how you guys make money, but actually maybe not. Okay, well, what's your position? They call it a DSB. It's just I go in home for the client where they don't have a facility. Shit. Okay, what do you make? Probably around 2000 a month. Yeah, that's unfortunately what I was... Yeah, it's 16 hourly. Thank you. 24,000 hours of your net. Okay, but you combine these that all of a sudden we're doing okay for your area is the thing. Because again, that is not an expensive place to live. There can be an expensive like city like, I mean, Bloomington can be a bit more expensive, right? That's what it's called. University of Indiana. Bloomington, I.O. It can be a bit more expensive, but even still compared to the majority of the United States, certainly not. So 3,033 dollars from you on a monthly basis plus the two. So I mean, you guys are making five, 5,000 net. Okay, I mean, with a kid, you know, but good. And we're all combined. Everything's good. Nope. No, we still... Okay. Except for finances. Well, then how the f*** we have a kid, we're married. What are we doing? Why? I've always been kind of iffy about finances. Iffy about finances. I don't know what that has to do with you actually joining with your wife, you know, partner for life situation with a kid. We've talked about it. I mean, I'm open to it. It's just when we went to join like me, sign up for their account. They're like, well, we can't really do that. We went to the bank that I have my current checking at. Her account. Yes. Okay. And I wanted to add him as a joint user and they immediately went, oh, we're going to create a new account. They only allowed us to... They pretty much only offered a second chance checking where we would have to pay every month. What do you mean pay every month? Because you don't have a balance? No, because it was poor credit and collections. Okay, go to Chase. Go to anywhere. I don't know. I don't even think we have a Chase in our town. I would be incredibly surprised. There might be one, but I don't remember seeing where it's at. But even still, you can open up with a different bank. There's different banks everywhere. Absolutely. I mean, I think that would be a step up. Dude only uses Cash App. Correct. I mean, it's... I think it's time to upgrade. Yeah. I mean, Chime's great as well. They'll get me wrong. It's certainly better than Cash App, but it's also good to just have just a random like larger institution just sitting there, just even just sitting there. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. Oh, I don't know what that means. So when we went, they offered us a second chance checking. I was like, that wasn't the intent that we had. We didn't want to have to pay to have a bank account. I know. So you go to a different bank. That is what adults would do. Well... So congratulations. Keep coming back to the second checking account. Like, okay, you already did that. We already know. Very good. Go to a different bank. I didn't know about the collections that he had had never mentioned up until that point. And I had mentioned this before. Why? Why you got married? You got f***ing married. Why aren't you telling her about your finances, asshole? That is irresponsible to selfish and it's not fair, especially to f***ing breed. You're abreeded. You had a little bread situation. We're doing that and she doesn't even know what kind of money she's attaching her child to. Come on. Why? Why not inform her before you guys go down this big life adventure together? Mostly because I... Shame mostly. Oh f*** off. What a bullshit, dumb, cop-ass excuse. You're f***ing someone else's life, potentially another with a kid. Shame? You should be ashamed. You hid that from your spouse, your partner. Before making a child in marriage. You should be ashamed. That's what's shameful. What? Well, I'm confused. I mean, do we just hide literally everything until after we're married? Is that how marriage works? No, not a good marriage. Oh, so we're starting off with a bad marriage? I wouldn't say that other than... Well, you just defined a good marriage is not hiding things. And yet you were hiding that, going into marriage, and now she's struggling to get accounts connected and whatnot with whatever limited resources you have in your community. Because if you're f***ing finances, do we own a house? No. Okay. We want to own a house at some point. How's that going to happen? With man with completely f***ing money! Of what you didn't know about that you were attaching yourself to. The mortgage is only going to be in her name? That's fair. That's great. That's wonderful. No, I would like us both to have a say on the mortgage. A say on the mortgage? Well, both be on it. I wouldn't want them just to be on one person's shoulders in case something happens. Okay, but you lied about your finances getting with her. Yeah. Okay, so what was your reaction when you heard this? Confused, concerned. I mean, I also have collections. Yes, I'm not going to lie and say that I don't. Were you hiding them from him? No. So he knew about them, you knew about them, going into the marriage. Yeah. Okay. But why hide yours? The shame is such a bullshit excuse. Come on. Why were you actually hiding it? Shame f***ing you. You should be ashamed now. Mostly because when I was growing up, I always got yelled at for everything, money-wise. Yeah, so I didn't want to start another fight when instead of a fight, I could have had a regular conversation. Well, what about fights? She literally tries to sit down with you every two weeks. Every two f***ing weeks. She said in the pre-interview with Lindsay to talk about finances. What do you mean having normal conversations? She tries to do it on a daily basis. Sorry, every other week, twice a month. So there would be the opportune time, would it not? Yeah. Oh, shit. I apologize. You are male. You're gay. You're gay. Legally. You're male. Legally. Yeah. Legally. Legally. You mean legally. You switched to male. The gender, yeah. So I had a legal name and gender marker change. That's a guy. This is before they released the X. Oh, because X wasn't an option? Yeah, X wasn't an option. What do I call you? Do I call you X? No, no, no. Talk to X over there. It would be like a non-binary thing. That's kind of the insinuation of X. Okay, educate me because I'm just not educated. Absolutely. So there's a difference between biological six and then gender. Certainly because you mean you're a chick. Biologically. Sure. Biologically. I am female. So I'm AFAB, assigned female at birth. And then... Well, no, no, no. I mean, you were born with a woman. Biologically. Because there's a difference. Because there's a difference you said biologically and gender. And yes. So biologically, I mean, you're a woman biologically. Biologically, I'm a female. Because the more appropriate... Okay, female. Fine, fine. I mean, when you start saying female, all of a sudden people call you an in-cell. Well, I mean, when you're speaking about gender, it's man and woman. But when you're speaking about sex, it's female and male. Okay, so female scientifically. AFAB. Yep. AFAB? AFAB, assigned female at birth. I am female. I am a woman. Or I am male. Or I am a man. I was assigned female at birth, but I now identify as such a... Wait, but I thought you said female was sex, but then gender, the thing that is what you're changing and saying is in flux, is the other thing which would be woman. So it wouldn't be assigned female, would it? It would be assigned woman, or assigned woman, but officially female, scientifically. Right? No. Using your logic, right? No. Right. I legally changed it from the letter F, female, to an M, which is male. Sex. The sex on the driver's license. Oh, so you can change sex. Yeah, you can change the sex on the driver's license. Oh, I thought we were saying we couldn't change sex, but we can change gender. Technically, both of you undergo surgery. I need to go to the surgeries, yeah. You were assigned female, you are now male. Legally, but I identify as non-binary. Why'd you go male then? There was no X option at the time. Well, I go female to male if you're neither. Why do the change? I mean, change is inevitable in everyone. As a human, it's our basic right to be able to... Okay, so how do... Because I've been calling you her and she. Yeah, she and they are fine. How do I call? Yeah, she and they are fine. Oh, so we've gone back more feminine. So where are she again? Not inherently, no. Oh, but I can call you she? Absolutely. But I will call you whatever. Yeah. And you want to be called? They, she, that's fine. Cool, so we're good with she. Yeah, yeah. Good. Wanted to establish that? Very good. So you're not gay. Other than on paper? No. There we go. Good answer. Well, actually on paper, right? Because aren't you male? Yeah. On paper? On paper, yes. On paper, you're gay. Legally gay. Yeah, legally gay, yeah. Okay, okay, okay. Okay, just want to make sure I understood. She gets a little rainbow pen for your shirt. We should have. People know that you're a little gay on the inside. Okay, very good. So, but yeah, she is the mask of the household anyway. Because she says that she feels exhausted for wearing the pantom in the relationship 70% of the time. So you've taken the, at least OG classic, a feminine role of not doing anything in the, taking care of the house in a financial situation. I'm navigating this. Okay. I'm trying to make a point. I mean, unless it was like the 1950s, like. Yeah, I said classic. Yeah. So, okay, she's standing up and taking care of everything. And she's upset that she has to take care of everything. You're not stepping the fuck and being a man. Yeah. I mean, I've definitely dropped the reins for sure. I wouldn't say they did everything or in the house, but the majority I'd say, yeah. Why, why aren't you stepping the fuck up in this relationship? So over here being upset that she can't even have a conversation with you. She tries every two weeks. So what are the seven, how does this every two weeks go? You go over there and you go to the dude. We gotten married in October a couple months before. I had found some information out that he had been more information paying for an app. It was an AI girlfriend app. Bro. Yeah. He had linked his email to my phone. To get more feminism. It was for D and D in his words. In his words. Yeah. No, you don't get an AI girlfriend for D and D. You're not going to bullshit me. What? What are you paying AI girlfriend for? No, I have. Don't do that now. Stop the cap. Yeah. You just got married and she found out it was happening. So yeah, just a few months ago. What the fuck was going on? So he linked his email to my phone for like manga or whatever. So I could read my downtime. Taking care of our newborn. Okay. Yeah. So that was the early bit of 25. And then this email pops up around our birthday and I'm like, what the hell is this? Our birthday? Our birthday is like two weeks. Yeah. Okay. Because we got R. I thought we were introducing a new pronoun. Okay. No. So I had seen an email that was like, oh, don't leave your AI girlfriend hanging kind of shit. Bro. I didn't have anything to do with text. I wanted to have a face to face conversation. So he gets home and I'm. He's not good at those. So I was trying to mitigate the emotional state that I was in and the logical and kind of come in between and come from a like a sound ground that I wasn't feeling crazy because I did. I felt insane that that was. Well, he has an AI girlfriend. Yes. I think you're allowed to feel insane in that situation. So when he got home, you know, I put our son down and came downstairs, started cleaning some dishes so I could get dinner started. Trans life. Pretty much in checking in like, hey, are you okay? And I was like, not really. I'm not doing okay. I saw this and I need to talk to you. Why'd you wait for him to talk to you? That's a bit weird. No, it's just like a mental check. I don't like the like the crankiness waiting for the guy to approach a conversation. So like, it's a two story townhouse. So he didn't seem all day. No, he was at work. He arrived upstairs. No, he like came downstairs. So like when he came in to the house, I was putting our understands. Yeah. So, you know, I came downstairs and we do the mental check in like, Hey, how's your day? How are you doing? And I'm going to assume that talking usually, but yeah. Yeah. But like, it's a good check in with your spouse to be like, you seem really upset just by like the energy that you're given. And I was kind of, you know, I had some hot coals under my feet, you know, and I was like, I'm not having a good day. And I saw this and I need to talk to you about it. And I was trying to stay level headed and I got really emotional. I was like, what am I not bringing to the table that you need to seek out an AI girlfriend? Ah, geez. Okay. Listen, you're f***ing the AI girlfriend point. Why can't you just f*** the conversation? Why can't you just say, yo, what's this? What's going on here? Well, yeah, it was pretty much. I was like, why am I not enough? Yeah. I'm sorry. I'm emotionally insecure sometimes. Therapy helps. I'm learning that. But women. Am I right? Yeah. The titty mobile. I get it. But it's just, I tried to have a conversation. I got really f***ed set because it was the, oh, it's not you. I love you. And I appreciated that. I really did. But it was, I needed to know why you had sought it out and you're like, it's for D&D. And I felt like that was just a really f***ing pop out of answer. It was being painful, right? Yeah. Okay. Then bullshit. Not for f***ing D&D. Dude, you can claw the dick out of some D&D. You can f*** the d*** out of some D&D. You can crock the d*** out of some D&D. Yeah. Gemini the d*** out of some D&D. Perplexity the d*** out of some D&D. AI girlfriend for D&D. D good luck. Come on, you're feeling lonely. You want to f***? Talk to me, baby. Nyeh. No, we were going through a rough time. Well, there it is. I don't think you're playing D&D for the rough time. I think you're going through a rough time. Actually say the real answer now for the first time in her life. Yes, go ahead. Say you were having a tough time. Because I was making a lot of poor decisions and just anytime I do something, I end up hurting Jade in some way. And instead of talking about it like an adult, I took the stupid way out of it. Yeah. No, what you just said said, did he just say anything? That was nothing. That was f***ing information that I knew. That was considered more information. He literally just said nothing. Buddy, what the f*** actually happened? How can you tell me what the f*** happened? Do I need to download a f***ing AI Barney to get an answer? I don't have an actual answer for that one. What do you mean? You downloaded a f***ing app. Why? What were you using it for? Did you want to hear? Wow, you're totally right. That was an unfiltered goon response. No, I was... Wow, you're so hot, Daddy. No, I was just... Really just talking about... Girlfriend, make me come. Make no mistakes. But yeah, I don't... But yeah, no, you didn't say anything yet. They get to say something. Please. You're on a podcast. Yeah. Why the f*** did you download this app? Because I was stupid and what shouldn't have been done in the first place. No, no, no. Why did you download it? Not because I was stupid. What was the action? I was curious to see what it was about. There you go. There's an answer. Okay, you were curious to figure out what it was about. Now, what made you so curious to explore a girlfriend of the AI form instead of girlfriend-girlfriend? Why were you curious to learn about this? I want to... I have to pay for it. I want to branch out and just say it might be because we... Maybe we're having... Every other month, if that... Okay. I'm 100% sure in the first nine years. I don't know if you can think inside of an app. There are toys for that. You can try. Good. That port's a little small, to be honest. Uh-huh. Grippy. Yeah, we had to buy a new phone after that. Okay, so we're dittlin' once every other month. If that, yeah. I mean, just... Kid, Hactic, Strass. I get it. Strass. I mean, I can see it on your neck right now. You're stressed. Yeah. And you're blushing. Irish. Yeah. Does that happen to every Irish person? Yeah. Okay, so, okay. How about that? That's an actual answer. Why can't you say that? You were f***ing prived. Were you prived? You weren't coming. Your balls were f***ing loaded up. Yeah, I would say so. Wow, yes. I understand why this is the more information than you've ever gotten, because I don't think you can f***... Actually, answer questions. Drowning in student loans with massive interest rates? I see it on the show all the time. 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They got a lot of commercials, but they're owned by Rocket Mortgage. Guess what they want to sell you in the end. Then there's the new guy on the block, Monarch. Hundreds of millions of dollars of private equity raising so far. But private equity doesn't have the best track record when it comes to private data. That's why I like dollar wise bills. Play these people just like you for people just like you. No private equity, no gimmicks, just the best budgeting app there is. Download and now start the free trial, dollarwise.com. Link in the description below. So it sounds like the original reason for my insecurities were true that you did. You were seeking more intimacy and that was just hard to say. And to be very clear until this very exact moment, his reasoning was still D&D. Yeah. Okay. Why f***ing lie? Listen, hey, baby was born 16 months ago. You guys have had 12 times since. Reasonable to say I am struggling with that. That is not an unreasonable thing. It doesn't mean pressuring the partner, but that is not an unreasonable thing to be having issues with. Why hold the lie of it was for D&D until right now? You know how I know it was a lie? Because she confronted you, you immediately deleted it, and then you downloaded Emochi the next day. And other AI, AI relationship app that you paid for the next day after she called you out. Did you know that? I didn't know there was a second AI app. I know about the Emochi one because I saw the subscription and then they add on to his Play Store account. Because again, the email was connected to the phone and I wanted to understand when the app was downloaded. A new generation begins. Evolved. Not just replaced. Incredible. Always on. Get the latest features and functionality. Well, that's John from your girlfriend. Latest features and functionality. Interactive video stories, endless choices. Make decisions for her. I can understand that the medications that I was on at the time trying to guinea pig that shit. I get it. You're f***ing... I get it. And you can struggle with that. Give them permission to go f***ing someone else or something. That's fine. I wouldn't want to do that. We've had that talk. We've had that talk. And? I was previously in a poly relationship and did not... We don't have to be poly. Right, even open. Be open. Poly involves emotions. That's where I can get f***ed. Yeah. But still, if you ain't f***ing... You've got to kind of figure out your situation. And how often are people safely having sex with others without getting confirmed tests and showing the results? Well, make sure you get them tested and show results. And when I offered an ultimatum before we got married and said... What was it? No lying. Well, yeah. Stop spending money that we don't have. Well, he was lying in every way whatsoever. He was lying until this exact moment that he was using it for D&D. And go to therapy. And most of it still has not happened, if not continuously. You haven't done anything? No. You made a child with her. You're not even following the therapy. You're not even following the... Okay, wow. Zuevan sent a dick emoji to Sarah, who is an AI Sarah. Did you like AI Sarah? Who sent... If you sit on this lap because you don't have another choice... A little depressing. What? I mean, yeah, I guess she doesn't have a choice. She's AI. Can you video chat with these people? I don't know. I never did. Oh, I'm sorry. What did you just say? I'm just exploring emoji. Okay. I thought you were saying there was like messages between Bernie and someone else. I'm not in Bernie's account. I don't know what's happening. But honestly, wouldn't be surprised. Hey, well, yeah, I mean, honestly, buddy, I mean, the pipes being backed up, that is an actual... That can be an issue. How are you dealing with that? I mean, why won't you let her see inside your account? That is a concern. I thought I was still... They still had access to my Google. No, I told you the day that we had talked about you deleting the apps that I deleted the email as well. And then I saw that you had paid for that add-on or whatever at the end note sheet. And I asked you what the hell it was, and you're like, oh, it's some just like pet feeding game or something like that. And I was like, hearing that it's a... What was it? Like soft... Ichi anime pretty much? Huh? Ichi anime. I don't know. I don't know what this is. Like panty shots, not full like... You come to panties? No. What I'm saying is hentai, full nudity, straight... Sure. And then there's soft... Which is Ichi anime or Echi anime depending on... Yeah, it's just a thing. Bro, I don't know. I'm not like you guys. I just... I watch two people or I f***. I keep it simple. Okay? Wait, you have a cup chair? I'm not f***ing f***ing but that is fine. Oh, okay. I was serious, man. Very good. No. I mean, that's something for everybody, I guess. Yeah, yeah. Everybody's got their flavor. I watch people have sex in f*** or I go f***. It's as easy as that. I don't know. What are you against them watching? No, absolutely not. Oh, but what's the problem? We literally have DVDs that we could... That's weird. Well, I used to work in an adult store so sometimes you just collect. It's still weird. Just f*** online. Okay, dude. Okay. What was my question that nobody answered? I think it was, so what are you doing? You're backed up. What's the solution here other than lying? Because that can't be the solution. Listen, I think open is something that is halfway decent. I believe when surveyed from not mistaken 99% of people said they would actually be open to, there's just not willing to discuss with their partner. But the thing is, and if she's not down for it, then you can't, and that would be cheating then. So we're not talking about that. Okay, she's down for porn. But you're kind of meeting in the middle. You're talking to AI and you won't let her in your account to see. If you downloaded it and logged back in, she could see. Why wouldn't you do that for her? I mean, I would pull it up. I don't have any on my phone. I said, if you downloaded it and logged back in, she could see. Why not do that for her? I mean, you said you were using it for D and D. I don't even get to look at his bank accounts. Okay, so he hides stuff and AI stuff from you. Okay, now he hides finances as well. Correct. What does he hide there, or at least of what you even think? I think one of the last times that we had done a budget talk, I had so many questions I had saw on his phone that he had paid 20 bucks for a game on Nintendo. And I did overreact. I'm going to be honest, I did. I mean, not alone within like just a closed ecosystem, whatever, is not the end of the world. But I understand if it is just endlessly hiding purchases from each other when we're trying to make the household better. Yeah, that would be the overreacted. Why? I blew up. I was like, why the fuck are we spending $20 on Nintendo when we can't even, oh, I don't know. Put gas in the car, or get our kid diapers. Oh, come on. If we can't afford diapers, why are you buying video games, asshole? AI girlfriends and video games, what the fuck are we doing? Obviously, messing my life up. That's not an answer, guy. That's a bullshit answer. Can you answer a question? Give me an actual reason. You purchased Nintendo instead of putting diapers on the kid. Gas in the car. Why? I hadn't done anything for myself recently. I figured it'd be okay to spend $20 on a Nintendo game and play it for a little bit. And that's more important than the kid? I never said that. Nothing's more important than the kid. You did say it through your actions. If we're struggling to get diapers, which I don't know why we would in Southern Indiana with 5,000 hours a month, where we're struggling to get diapers, by the way, but even still, well, I guess you wouldn't have much insight. I mean, I'm being told that literally when you guys are chatting about any serious topic, he will not sit next to you out of fear for you seeing his phone. Yes. Buddy, I mean, I couldn't stay with someone like that. I mean, that is egregious. I pointed out. And? And he's just the, haha, yeah, and then shrugs and laughs. So you can't even handle the conversations with her either? This is why honesty and going to therapy regularly was part of the- It was part of the- Depends on what kind of therapy. You might get enablement therapy. Well, he went to two sessions and then never went back. Okay. So that was another ultimatum she gave you. Hey, what's the point of giving ultimatums if you don't follow through with them? Right. And so after the beginning of the year, I circled back around and I was like, hey, how are we doing? How's the therapy? He said, well, I haven't been back because, you know, it was a religious facility that was offering it at like a more discounted price for low income families. Understandable. We appreciated it because he didn't have his insurance at the time. So now that he's finally been there over a year, he gets the insurance and I go to his doctor's appointment with him because, you know, it was an off day and we just went together because it's easier. Oh, okay. Just one time. Yeah, yeah. In general, you have to go to his doctor's appointment. No, we had done some shopping at Costco and then- Oh, I gotcha. Yeah, went to his doctor's appointment together. So he had said that he was going to make sure that he get an email or a call with information. It was also on like the, oh, this was your visit information packet that they give after the visit with the number and the email and all that stuff to reach out to the resource. Still, still, this was mid-January, beginning of February. I have been following up pretty regularly. When's your therapy appointment? When you got that scheduled? Oh, it's, I got a- nothing. I have not had a firm date. Do you have anything to say for yourself? I need a second. This is pathetic. Buddy. You're going to run away from this conversation like you run away from every conversation you have with her. You haven't said anything. I feel horrible for her right now. I don't know if you're objectively a bad guy, but I think you might be bad in relationships. Listen, she hands you her phone. And you refuse to do the same. What are you hiding? I'm just whenever I do something for my own purchases. I, I know I'm bad with money and I, shame. Oh, shut the f***. What? That's the biggest bullshit I've ever heard in my f***ing life. What the f*** response is that? Shame. Shame. What, what are you even, how do you feel hearing this? I, I want to be understanding, but it's so- No, no, that's enablement. It is disappointing. I like, I get it, it sucks. Money is hard. I'm not good with money. I have had to learn this all on my f***ing own- Are you guys a couple or not? Are you guys married or not? I don't care if something's hard, you have to work together. I want him to change, I cannot force him to change. No, but you can leave. And it might be better for your f***ing kid that you do. Six seconds. Why is he struggling? Nothing has happened. Nothing has happened yet. Bro has said five words. Why is he struggling? I want to answer for him, but I know I can't. You can't? Why? He's his own person. Oh, f*** off, come on, do you know him or not? I do, and I... Some of this weird boundary shit that's not even real. Shut the f*** up, yeah. No, what is going on? He's, he's, he's, he never faced the consequences of his life for anything. Any responsibility, any growing the f*** up? Because the moment he's confronted one time, he breaks the f*** down, can't handle it, as he actively traveled across the country for a show that he's seen, a show that he's a fan of, a show that he got on board before, and he can't even handle it 36 minutes in? Something that he's been expecting for at least a... You, what have you had, a couple weeks build up coming on here? A week maybe? Yeah, the end of February. End of February, to come and find Angelotti, he's had all this. 36 minutes into the f*** conversation, he said like 10 words and he can't handle a little bit of pushback that he knew was coming. He's a coward. Are you going to deal with this for the rest of your life? No. I think you might, because it sounds like I've tried to be understanding. No, you enable. And you're going to f*** your entire life and your kid's life because of it. Not saying he's objectively a bad person, I cannot assign that to him, but it might not be good for the relationship. Good people do bad things a lot. I can agree with that. Oh yeah, but he also won't change f*** anything. Yeah. Anything. And that's why I gave him, you know, months before the wedding. I'm like, I... Either you do these things to make the change, or the marriage is off. I cannot financially and as a parent put... The marriage is here, the marriage is done. Now what? Okay, okay, fine. When's the timeline? When's the, if nothing changes, I'm out. Okay, we're being told he's crying according to Brandon, which I mean, okay, like I'm sure, huh? That's rare. Whoa, what the f***? So someone called him on a sh*** for the first time in his life? Has no one ever been around when you call him on a sh***? Everybody's too scared to. What? Too scared to? Why? He's a f***. What's he gonna do? I know that he seems intimidating to a lot of people. No. And I know that, right. Does he? He has like a gay tattoo. I don't know. What? I'm not intimidated by him. Right. Right. And like... Why do people find him intimidating? So you know how like some dudes do the puff the chest? Yeah, that's, I see it a lot. And I know that's him putting the wall up. I can see it, I can feel it. It's the emotional barrier, like the bubble. I don't know. Like, you guys just surround yourself with... I'm a f***. I can probably barely sprint across the room, but I am the least intimidated by him than anyone I've ever met. Plus it would help that our security guard would just shoot him in the face if he tried something, but... Oh, lovely. But, I mean, he wouldn't anyway. So no one's ever f***ing stood up and called him on a sh*** in his entire life. In the moment it happens, he breaks down into tears. And again, I am very confused. He knows what show is on. You guys have applied to be on the show that you both watch. Yeah, he's the one who got me into your show. What's the confusion here? How is he surprised? How is he breaking down right now? I don't want to make someone cry. I'm not going to bullshit someone. If he's hiding the AI girlfriend and he lied until the exact moment of the show where he finally admitted why he had it, if he's hiding his finances, he won't let you look at his phone. What else am I supposed to say? Am I supposed to tell him, no, that's okay, because everyone else in his life has told him that's okay? Didn't he expect anything different from me? He had to have expected I would call him on that, right? I mean, it was kind of like a set expectation that there is clarity. There needs to have that objective thing. I think sometimes it can catch someone off guard. Absolutely. What do you think he might be freaking out because he knows we haven't even scratched the surface of this conversation yet? Oh, lovely. Okay, we'll take a break. I'll get him back on. Okay, so we're in the middle of financial audit now as you guys see. This is the head of financial audit. We're currently in a break situation because the dude that is the fan of the show that got his wife on the show, I called him on a shit. Barely. I barely even touched the surface. And he walked out of the room with Brandon and started bawling. I don't know what to do. What did he do, Brandon? He hit a pose in there? Brandon, he's hitting on the couch and he hit one of these. And then you could see tears. Well, hopefully he's not having like a panic attack, but I guess like no one's ever called him on a shit in his life. And I barely did. I'm sticking up for her because I feel bad for her. I do not know how to navigate this conversation with the guy that is liking the problem, the relationship for the sake of her, if I cannot call him on a shit from the change it because no one else has in his life. It'll be interesting. So we'll see. Do you all need a couple more minutes? Okay. All right, we'll be back. This has never happened before. I prevent a link? No, like I legitimately don't think he's ever been called on his shit because she does not call him on his shit. Because all of these things happen. All of you guys don't even know yet what there's two more things that we haven't talked about. The AI girlfriend was like the least of it. Oh my goodness. And I don't even know. He doesn't know. He's never been called on this. And that's why he's freaking out in my opinion. All right, I think we're going to try one more time. Brandon, you're going to come with me. What's going on? Are we doing? How are we feeling? Better than before. Okay, good. Improvement is improvement. Yeah. I was just having a hard time because we was calling things out and yeah, it was what I did feel was shame, but it's getting cold and that's stupid reason for feeling something in my body is just like, all right, we're going to go ahead and shut down for a second. What? The valley response. It's cleaning up, you know. It's hard to let go. Work through the alarms. Do you know? I mean, trying to be as understanding as I can because I can't feel your feeling for you. You know? Yeah. You were talking about feeling the shame and you kind of stuck on that. You even said the reason why. Yeah. We have like another hour. Yeah. And this really is when I talk to you on the phone, you want things to change. And this is a conversation that feels like you two haven't been able to have and we need to have it. Yeah. So I would love for you to come back. I would love to have this conversation and for us to be able to get both of you the help and support that you need. You ready, Chris? You give it a go. Dragon Troll from the dungeon. How do you know? Are you part of it? I'm a part of it. Okay. We're back. How are we feeling? What happened? I think we had a good heart to heart. But maybe you should talk. Yeah. Just when you were talking about me being, you know, a real piece of shit. Yeah. Dad and partner. It dug out the shame that I do feel because I know I could and should be doing better. And having it thrown in my face is, you know, it sucks, but it's also a nice response. My question is, if you know you should be doing better, why aren't you? Because that's all talk. Because it's hard taking a step to change yourself when you've done something a certain way for a long time and breaking through. Well, the AI girlfriend isn't something you've been doing for a long time. No, I don't do that anymore. Once we had that conversation about when she's got the email. It's a few months ago, but yeah. What's the preventance from doing that again in the future? Why won't you show her like the messages in there? Why won't you show her the phone? I understand like a financial behavior might take a second, but literally just showing her like, you can just give her your phone. If taking this step is hard, isn't that the only step is giving her the phone? What other step is there in that process? No, that would be a step forward for sure. Would be. Are you going to? Yeah, I mean, I would have to go in and download them again. Your phone in general? Oh, yeah, no. Yeah, they can have my phone. I think a slice of truth that might help this conversation is, he was in the shower. This was a very long time ago. You were in the shower one time and I was worried that you were talking to someone and I did just peek through your messages. Okay, and? That was nothing there. I was just worried. Okay, well, what led you to be worried? I think it was like a coworker you were talking to or your friend. I'm also confused about this. Like, you know, I haven't used it since you downloaded another app the day after the confrontation or the AI. So that just doesn't line up as well. That's kind of stupid. I'll be honest. But what's not is actually getting a checking account that gives you free money free money. We like free money. You can get up to $200 in bonus cash right now. When you sign up for the checking account that I use time. Also, it makes your savings grow at a 3.5 APY interest rate. Guys, you can watch financial audit and get free money at the same time. Who would have thought that's incredible? Check it out. Link in the description below. Starbucks is bulls*** and a waste of money. And you already know that by making your coffee at home and investing the rest. So now you need to do that with your energy drink as well. Make GamerSubs at home for just 40 cents of serving. And honestly, it literally tastes better. And we proved this accidentally via a blind taste test in our Hammer Elite show, Fat & Fatter. The number one ranked energy drink is GamerSubs. Literally, the cherry flavor is insane. Listen, you can also get free samples to see if you like it or 10% off your order at GamerSubs.gg or click that link in the description below. Type in code Kaleb. There were, I think two that popped up because it was the Emoji one and then a different one that popped up like the next day. You're like, we just had this conversation. So there was a two. There was the AI girlfriend. It was the Sultry Little Purple Mask. And then there was the Emoji. Classic D&D. Yeah. And then you said, okay, I'll delete it. And then the next day it said that you had paid for an add-on. And that was to the Emoji. And I was like, what the f*** did we just talk about? And you're like, you're right. And then you said you didn't. Oh, she wasn't right the day before? No, he said I was right. They were still right the day before. Yeah. And what does this thing about envelopes? I'm being told about envelopes? Envelopes? What envelopes? So when I, my previous job before the field merchandising talent, I was a retail store manager for an adult store. It was a full-time job. And I was the breadwinner at that point. I had been working there for a while. We had finally gotten our apartment, our one bedroom. Was it the North Park? It was the North Park. Okay. And so we found out we were pregnant a month later. And it was late spring. I was like, I think it would be a good idea if, you know, we start pulling out cash from our checks, every paycheck to put that into the envelope system. That way, because I made it. You don't, okay. Well, you either run that via envelope or you don't. I don't know what. Well, it was just like a little booklet. It has like the plastic little. Yeah, there was like, You were just trying to save. Yeah, I was literally just trying to save. You were just trying to put cash aside to save. Yeah. And I got ADHD. So if I see the number in the account and like, oh, I have money. No, I gotcha. I gotcha. I won't remember. So, um, Yeah, very mental disability. Cool. So I was, I had switched up my direct deposit to put 200 savings. And then from there, every paycheck, paycheck, I would pull it out and then divvied up the envelope. That's the problem. So I, I think I had saved up about $1,600. It started? Yeah. And that was over like a couple months. Uh, and it was after the baby, or it was before the baby shower. Uh, I had asked you to pay the phone bill. And I, you know, I hadn't like kept track of like checking. Oh, recounting. Oh, this is what this is on below. What happened? Anyways, I noticed that the envelope was missing a lot of money. And not just $100 here, $100 there. It was a fact. I had been tallying, oh, this date, putting this much in for this and so on. And I told him that, like this is how I wanted to do it. So it's a checks and balances. There was no outtake that was written down. And there was a lot of money missing. What are you doing? Especially when she just as pregnant, headed towards the birth. What did you do? It would usually, whenever we had, usually multiple times. When we had bills, I would go ahead and if I didn't have the money, I would use what we had our envelope system. What do you mean bills? She doesn't know your financial situation. You won't tell her. You won't let her look at anything. How can you even say? So this happened more than once though? No, not more than once. But you said every time or something like that, you indicated more than one. Cause whenever, I mean, whenever, whenever it's not once. When we had bills, I would play into, not did refill it. And then whenever checks came around, we'd have to pay bills again. I wouldn't have the extra money to put back into the envelopes. Was this around the time you were getting behind on the car payments? Why won't you just let her fucking look at your accounts? Just let her look. In the post show, we're going to redownload those apps and we're going to look at them. We're going to see what happened in there. Cause I think we need to actually go through that, but we do also need to get into the money now or else this is never going to end. Oh my gosh. And it makes no sense because even when that happened, when she confronted you, you admitted that you only took 90 out, but that it's not possible because it was only a hundred dollar bills or $20 bills in there. So you couldn't have even taken 90. You were lying about the amount. Yeah. It wasn't just like a hundred or two hundred. Anything. Won't do the therapy. Won't do anything. How long do you think she's going to stay? If you do not change the things of which she has laid out ultimatums for, how long do you think she's going to stay? I'd be lucky if it was another month or so. Yeah. And do you even deserve that? I don't know. No. Okay. Better question. Zero percent is just staying forever. You're not even questioning leaving a hundred percent is you're walking out this building separating him. Where are you? Those are the two extremes. We're in the middle. Five percent, ten percent. What? After all that, just that you put down ultimatums with your five percent. That's never going to be ultimatums then. I don't know. Ultimatums. It's. What? That's a red line in the sand that gets crossed every time with no consequences. That's nothing. That's nothing. Five percent is nothing. No, no. Why would he ever change? Why would he? You're not even, you're barely even considering it. It's barely even a thought. It's barely even an inkling. I grew up with separated parents. Like early on, two years old, I never had a dual house like parent household. Is this working? Is this dual parent household working? Is it going to be better for the kid? This thing? If it stays the same, absolutely not. But you're at five percent when it's only stayed the same for years. That makes no sense. Enablement, enablement. You're right. You probably will never change. Wow. Okay. So let's get into the finances guys. And then on gender in term. Dude bros. Uh-huh. What do we rate the household financial score at this point? Zero being the worst, 10 being the best. Like a two. Yeah. Two. Yeah. I know I took the quiz myself and I was at a five. Yeah, but you guys are combined. Yeah. If you want to take that assessment, take it for free at CalebHammond.com. It just takes a few minutes to see where you're standing in the world of money, where you're doing poorly, where you're doing great. It is awesome. And you can improve your life with it. You can also improve your life with the dollar wise budgeting app. Tens of thousands of monthly active users for a reason. Thousands signing up daily. It is awesome and it's incredible. You can see the free trial. If you like it and if you don't, you can cancel. And if you do, you can keep going and you can change your life like many other people do. Most people take the annual version because it saves a lot of money. And you get my 30 day meal plan. This guy right here signed by me. I can't believe you're sending me that email directly to you. Hand me that Sharpie please if you may. Thank you, sir. I appreciate it. So all I do is I come down here and I'm like, woo signature. Let's go. And then you get it. So there you go. Now you can't have any excuses for not being able to meal prep, not being able to plan your meals. It is based on a $300 per person grocery budget per month. It is great. It is snacks. It is everything. Okay. So I am going into these finances, but I mean, I just, I have to know just the baseline of this conversation where it stands. But we've talked a lot about a lot of betrayal so far. Is that the end of the betrayals? I want to at least make sure before I keep going. I want to say no, but that might be positive. You want to say no? I mean, I don't want to say that. Yeah, that's the end of everything. Uh-huh. 100% you know, I'm not going to buy it. The betrayals though. The betrayals because there's lots of betrayals. Uh, I don't know. What about you? How are you feeling? No, I have a hard time talking about finances, but I don't, there's nothing in there that you should have been hiding. Okay, so like I understand that, but are you trying to say that you've said everything that is needed to be said? I think so, yeah. When was trust first broken in this relationship? Do you want to talk about it? I couldn't find that in your Apple Music. Why am I? Oh, for fuck's sake, what is it? Yeah, if you want, we can talk about it. We're definitely going to. We're here. I didn't put that on your no-no list, so, oh, we're talking about it. Well, what are we talking about? I don't know. Please don't be cheating. No. No, I've never cheated on them. What? Okay, you seem to be the one that can put words out of your mouth, so why don't you try to do it? I found out when we were looking into getting an apartment, we had talked about financing a home as a first time home buyer. What? When? That quick? It was like March two years ago. No, no, it was March last year. March last year was the first trust break? That's crazy. Okay. That's been a lot since then. What happened? I was talking to his parents about him sending emails to the VA about getting his paperwork and all that stuff from when he was in the military. What branch? He wasn't in it. I had a friend of mine who. Okay, you weren't in it, but you were emailing the VA? No. Huh? No, I didn't. It was all just a story I had with one of my friends who was in the Army. We talked about joining in together and he was older and he had, I got a letter from saying he died in active combat. And what? How does this break her trust? Well, I'm getting there. I ended up using, because he would send me letters about his updating through basic and then he'd get deployed and he would let me know how he's doing. I ended up taking those stories and be like, yeah, this is what we did while we were enlisted together. What? You never said it was both of you. You just talked about it in you though. What? You took his stories? No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. The stories that your friend sent you, you took about your service? Yeah. Stone Valor. Right here. Stone Valor. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Yeah, that's not. Whoa. And did what with it? I didn't. That's like Stone Valor shit. Wait, and did what with it? What with the VA? I didn't do anything with the VA. What were you trying to do with the VA? Why are we in contact with the VA? What is the VA coming to this? He was lying about that. About what? I'd never contacted the VA about anything. I was just saying I was doing it, but I never actually did. Do what? Covering up. Covering up what? Continuing the lie. The lie to who from what? About being in the military. So you're telling everyone in the world, including you? What? Yeah. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. So when you started this relationship, dude was like, I'm a vet? Not out the gate. No, it was just suddenly brought up. But it happened? Yeah. Wait, you were telling everyone that you were a veteran? Not everyone. Not everyone. A lot of people. Our friend group. That you were a vet? Our friend group, yeah. You're what? Our friend group, yeah, yeah, yeah. But no, I wasn't going on the rent down the street telling them, like, yeah, I'm in the service. I mean, you gave things, you told the people that any normal person would. What? It wasn't a good moment for me. This friend, this friend even exists. Do I even believe that? I don't believe any f***ing thing this guy's saying. It doesn't even matter if the friend exists though. It's like you're using his stories or just Reddit stories you found. You were telling people, what was the point? What were you doing? Where are you getting out of this? This is crazy. And people think I'm like anti-vet because I talk about the disability thing on the show all the time. No, I'm a huge advocate and I want to fix the system to make it even better for people. They are the best of the best among us protecting this country, serving. What? No. My brother specifically was not a good person today. There's pieces of s*** in every system. I'm not saying that. But in general, people that are putting their life on the line for the country, I respect them as a collective. There's pieces of s*** everywhere. That's going to happen. Maybe not the institution that hires them. The government? Yeah. Okay. I mean, that just meant nothing. This is such a broad statement. I feel bad for the people that do get in there with good intentions and then are brainwashed into believing that the government is the right way and the only way. And if you don't agree, you leave. Well, yes, you have to follow the military rules. No, like absolutely. There are regulations. There is a guideline. Absolutely. But it's just... Okay. I honestly don't give a f***. Whatever. I'm just trying to say, I respect the f*** out of them as a collective because they have put their life on the line for this country. They're serving. It's called service. Yeah. And you're mimicking being one? For what purpose? For what purpose was this possible? I've never heard of this. I mean, I guess we've all heard of Stolen Valor, but I've never actually seen someone do it. I've never even heard a story. It's just known, right? Oh, okay. I understand. So you're a democratic socialist and you're an anarchist. I don't know why an anarchist would pretend to be a vet. I still don't understand why you pretended to be a vet. It was just a stupid decision on my part to try to connect with... Why does it seem to be your answer for everything? I want to know the why. Your why can't always be it was a stupid decision. Why did you actively choose to do that? You will never get better if you cannot figure out a reason why you did something. Because I wanted to relate more to him and when he told me about the stories, he was passionate about it and I was like, I wish I had a passion like that about something at least. And that's what I wanted to do when I was younger. And then I've had a few injuries where I wasn't able to do it anymore. I had a motorcycle accident when I was 18 and I messed my left arm and shoulder up. I couldn't do anything if I wanted to. Okay, listen, I'm going to bleep the word so don't be afraid to say the word, okay? Okay. I'm going to count from three to one then I'm going to ask you to do something you must answer it immediately. Okay. Three, two, one, what's the name of your friend? Okay. I was relatively quick. It was bleeped. What? Do you know of this guy? Oh, that's sick. No, I was about to... This is the one that you told me about. But there are two friends. I just... This is... Why? Why was I almost... I almost believed you for a second. This conversation is ridiculous. This is one of the most ridiculous conversations I've had about... It's an hour and three minutes and I've even looked at a document. What the f*** is happening? Ah! Did you at least go to your guys' friends and tell them that you were a liar? I made that a very mandatory thing. He had said, oh, I'll just send a text message and I said, no, if you can light a someone to their face, you can tell them the truth to their face. So I told all my friend groups that there was a lie because that was one of the ultimatums they gave. I was like, all right, that's what I'll do. I'll tell them the truth. Okay, Cash App, what's going on with this? No, this must be a checking account. No, it's my... I do my direct deposits and stuff through Cash App. It's interesting. Okay, what are you getting at Walmart for six bucks? Highly doubt that's groceries. I mean, sometimes it's casual, like, oh, hey, I need eggs or we're out of milk. Can you grab some for the sign? Is this a Walmart on your time? I bet there's a chase. Or a Wells Fargo or anything. I think there's like a sister bank to Wells Fargo. There might be a Wells Fargo. I mean, I haven't seen one around, but it doesn't mean there's not. Okay, we look, there isn't a chase, but there has to be some kind of major branch of some kind, if not a chase. I think. Okay, what's the name of your town where we've been at? Indiana. Okay, first of all, why? Why live in such a great place? I mean, I was born in the county next to it. Great. I don't live where I'm born because I went through a place with opportunity. And moving costs a lot of money. And we obviously don't have that. It cost me about $200 and I sold everything. And then I slept on an air mattress for six months. Now it's a little harder with a kid. Don't get me wrong. Exactly. But to just suggest that you can't do it without a shit ton of money is also just illogical. People move all the time. And we have one car. I had one car. Yes, I know. It's a different situation. It's still might cost a couple thousand hours. But if you even go into debt for a couple thousand hours to go to a place with opportunity where you make tens of thousands more, that is oftentimes a worthy investment. I mean, there's definitely an end goal for us, but it's not in the picture right now. But if you're not doing anything, that's not a goal. That's... Okay, first bank. I think that one's pretty big if I'm not mistaken. Fertile. Fidelity. You got Fidelity. That's a green one, right? I don't know. I'm not aware. That's big. So you probably find there at National Bank. Yeah. Well, federal first savings. Like, you're fine. There are major branches. There's a ton of major branches there. And you got some credit unions as well, but you're okay. Yeah, I've got an account with one of the local credit unions. There you go. So what a stupid... Excuse me. Excuse me. Is it remedy center, cannabis, 55 bucks? Yeah, we've... Is this why you're... How much are you consuming? We don't do it all the time. It's a purchase that will probably last us probably over a year because we do super small portions. You will not go to cannabis for a full year from that purchase? Yeah, we cut them into... Because all the servings are about that big and we cut it into 16 pieces. They're really strong. They're really strong. It's like 500 milligrams of gummy. Yeah, gummy. And then obviously right afterwards went to donut bakery. Makes sense. Bath & Body Works Mega Replay. I don't know what that is. It's where you can sell old games or console systems. What are you buying, not selling? I had a really bad day that day and he had brought me a gift which is extremely rare. Well, not that rare. It's $12. You went there with our son, right? You got some stuff and you went... I think you got a candle or something at Bath & Body? Okay, gorilla? Yeah, serilla. That is an adult store, yes. Yeah, we like to spice things up in the better manner now. Once every other month. Right, but I worked in the business for well over four years. That's a big every now and then, am I right, guy? Hey, I girlfriend. Golden Buddha! Food? Yeah, food. I assumed. I didn't think that was a toy of Buddha's asshole. I'd be impressed. Yeah, I would assume it would be the bell, but maybe some fat food. Okay, donut, bake, and yeah, maybe go shoot some Walmart, I don't know. You went and took some bullshit from Casey's. I know you didn't get $3.63 of gas. No, I got a drink from Casey's before I went to work. Okay, stop. Listen, no longer. No longer, my friend! Let me make sure it's the energy drink person. There you go. That cannabis has f***** you. What kind of reflexes were that? You say people are intimidated by him? That was the worst I've ever seen. Dude let it fully hit his nose and run down his face before he even moved. I probably would have chewed him, yeah, so I get bad reflexes. I jump scared though. Well, yeah, I'm sure you're medicated to death. Listen. Oh, come on, we all know that. Oh, come on, a little bit of f***** everyday keeps me cool. I'm fine. Something piercing therapy four times a week. I know you're medicated. Four times a week. Self-diagnosis, I know you're desperately medicated. In a way, no longer, you are using the Gamer Subs. It is 40 cents a serving after my discount. Code, Caleb, link in the description below, camersubs.gg. You're using that. If you want to figure out other flavors, you can get free samples at that using my code. Then figure out what you like and you're making your energy drinks at home now instead of stopping in and getting some bullshit when you can clearly not afford it. Okay? It's delicious. It legitimately is. Every guest has enjoyed the f*****g of them. Hammer Elite is the best YouTube membership on the platform, and I just upgraded it. Three exclusive dedicated shows every single day, Monday through Friday. Join with the link in the pinned comment or description below. This is the best membership you'll ever join. That's a promise. Send some money out. Bullshit. Nintendo again. That was probably one of the Nintendo's that we talked about. Yeah, I mean, that's just happened like a month ago. Air or vacuum. Okay, yeah, I mean, that's air. That's okay. Walmart, Nintendo again. How frequently? What are we doing? We need to bullshit. Okay, air again? Okay, how many times are we getting air? When I had my flat, I had our car before I got its engine tore up. I had replaced the one. Yeah, the car has been in the shop since the beginning of the month. Yeah. That's brutal. Send our money out. BMC. Whoa. CPE BMC. That is our energy. That's our energy. Okay, fair off. Nob Hill Tavern, High Score Saloon, Insomnia Cookies. If you have an Insomnia Cookies, you have a major bank. Yeah, that was like the first date night. Insomnia Cookies. Yeah, that was the first date night in what, like, six, nine months? Something like that? Yeah. Okay, that wasn't the point I was making. Bullshit, bullshit. Nintendo again, 20 bucks at a time. Nintendo stacking up. liquor, wonderful. Wendy's, honeymoon, Wayne Bach. Wendy's. Oh, Wayne Bach, yeah. Wayne Bach, yeah. McDonald's, gives a bullshit, a lot of bullshit. Maybe gas, that one actually looks like gas. Air again, I understand why. Maybe groceries, definitely bullshit. Bullshit, I think gas. Does it say really? Bullshit. That's a grocery store. What do you want? Really fruits, that's a grocery store. I know, but when he's getting like $3, but he's getting a little drink. Yeah, it's a drink. There we go. Well, okay. We judge it by price, typically. See, this might be groceries, 16 bucks there. Bullshit, Sonic, Culver's, Dota Bakery, bullshit, and sex toys again, double sex toys. Is it like $17 to $20? $21, we're ramping up. Yeah, we recently talked about him just going to get something and then using it and then not saying anything and not initiating. That's half of the problem. What are we getting? It's like a pill. Yeah, pills to help with simulation. Yeah. You're the struggle, so you want to be f***ing... Wait, then why are you getting an AI girlfriend? I thought it was because she wasn't given. Yeah, no, I definitely... It wasn't on the front burner. I'm taking care of the kid. I'm staying home. I'm also working. I'm also trying to take care of the whole... Yeah, but he's the one that can't get excited? I mean, I get it. When I'm overly stressed or tired, I don't get excited. Yeah, and that kind of like adds into that struggle. Because I know they are doing the best they can with our house and... Probably believe that name, but yeah, I assume that's the kid, right? Yeah, sorry. That's okay. $255, is this your check-in account? Up from five. That's five. Yeah, that's me. Okay, it started at five. That's scary. What? Groceries? Oh, he's at the same house. Honeymoon, bullshit. Yeah. Cash app, cash app, cash app. Yeah. Bullshit, bullshit, Spotify. That's a monthly app. Maybe food, maybe groceries, cash app, out cash app, cash app, cash app. Yeah, I'm paying you to install my fees. Groceries, groceries. I mean, it's just dangerously low balances. It's very scary. Yeah. I mean... Luckily, no overdrafts. I'm surprised. The previous job that I had, the pay was constantly infrequent. One week I could get $100, the next paycheck would maybe be $900. Yeah, but if you guys combined it would be less of an issue. It would, but I mean, when we were paying for the wedding, it was me paying for everything. I paid for the rental, I paid for most of the dress, I had a friend help, and then his grandparents paid for the catering. Wait, why didn't you step up and pay anything? He was paying the bills. I was paying the bills. All the bills. Yeah. No issues, no late, no problem. Okay. Would you even know? There were a few that were late. There was one time we were like a day late on the energy bill. I was never like super like a week or two weeks late paying the bill. Yeah. Why do we split it like that? Were you buying everything, including the wedding bands, the suit, all that stuff? Because my income was super infrequent. I couldn't rely on my check to be paying bills. But if you guys were combined, you'd be able to actually... Yeah. I... Listen, obviously I want you guys to move to some more better opportunities, but I'll get both of you course career certifications. Yeah. A lot of people in the audience have converted those into six-figure jobs. I'd like you guys to as well and just be strategic about which one you're getting. Look at the job market. Get you guys that. Also buddy, listen, we got to build your credit. I'll get you the mine used to be called Fizz, but the mine card, debit card that builds credit, can only spend what's in your checking account. Clearly you have issues with that. Another cash app. Whose cash app is this? Zero bucks. And this must be yours. You were transferring to it, right? Yes. Okay. Well, you're getting bullshit on here. Bullshit, bullshit, bullshit. I think that's probably okay, but people can get bullshit there. Sonic. It is probably closed or something. Bullshit, bullshit, bullshit. McDonald's bullshit. Okay. Come on. Buddy, literally $80 in that collection account. Why couldn't you just pay $80? When they called me about the overdread collection stuff. That was on your score by like 15 points. 80 bucks. I didn't know about them. You didn't know? Several... I didn't remember until they called them because several more years ago. Credit card. Credit card. Any credit, it's everywhere. It takes five seconds. What? Any kind of personal responsibility? Like advocating for yourself to read anything? I have a hard time getting stuck in the rhythm where I'm just worried about day to day and stuff. Instead of downloading an app for three minutes? Being comfortable. Yeah, I think it's the sense of comfort. I don't think you're like a little bit of being uncomfortable in life, but you don't get that choice with a child and wife. That's true. I definitely need a hard-quickening answer. Well, I'm glad you know you need to. Now, if only you could do something ever, once. Sick, man. You can download an AI girlfriend and sign up for that subscription, but not download instead of for credit karma. Yeah. Yeah. So 80 bucks. That one's a joke. I don't even, it's so stupid, man. So stupid. Yeah, I don't know what's bringing out capital is. Let's see. Original creditors named Bank of Missouri. So you probably had a credit card with them or some kind of loan, but you owe 662 to them. How long has this been in collections? Oh, it's from when I was in a past relationship. So I honestly. What was that? Oh, okay. About three or seven months ago. So it's still going to be on your collections for a very long time. And if we want to get a house, we want to get additional apartment together, whatever it is, it's going to fuck you. Was it one of the payday? Fuck you. Oh, is it? I don't think so. AT&T. AT&T. Why'd you let AT&T go to collections $367? I think that's when I was trying to get out of my phone. I was trying to get out of their contract and I had paid my last month and they still, I said, I owed something. So I didn't, I didn't know. You just let it go so that it would fuck you and your entire future life. This has been seven months, man. Seven months. It says it's been in collections at least. I'm sure it was. It's not paid much longer before that, but it was at least sold to collections. Is that when we switched from individual phone plans to Cricut and you said that you were on your parents' plan? I would rather do healing. Do you said you were on your parents' plan and that they were paying for your phone bill? Is this another lie? Did we just learn another lie? I don't remember saying I was on my parents phone plan. You may not have remembered now, but I do recall you saying yes I am on my parents 18 t phone bill and I can just transfer it and then you had a problem trying to get into the account and Get the number transferred over so you got a new number guys therapy is great Have we considered couples therapy? I have mentioned it You mentioned it very good and you won't because I never said we Therapists to go to couples counselor Seven picked the therapist I have told him that there are therapists at the office that I go to that do couples So what is the issue guy? No if we We can set up a couple's Therapist appointment. I don't have an issue with that. We just haven't done it yet. So if she doesn't do it, it will not happen I Need to get better about taking Another solid ten out of ten answer guys I'm glad you know you need to why the don't you? Yeah, that's something that we talked about at the beginning of the year New Year's resolutions, whatever you want to call it. I had asked him how he wanted to improve this year and Stick it in more He said he wanted to go to the gym Respectfully I get it. However, my resolutions were a little bit more concrete more financially based. Yeah, you're also not like horribly unhealthy If at all you don't look bad I mean I Feel like it but well, yeah, maybe I'm sure I'm sure your cardio is bad and stuff like that You know, maybe it's like, you know, but like you're not a bad-looking dude. So Like a gym's good go on more walks. It's nice up there half the year go go on walks Yeah, okay, we've definitely been doing that lately now that our kids like We're going on good go go on a couple miles a day. Yeah, like 15 15 a mile pace. Okay, very good So 15 minutes so good do that no gym necessary the gym if you want but that just shouldn't be our I Don't want to say it's not important, but there are things that are getting the marriage is getting destroyed And we need to prioritize that Okay, yeah, I need to put Stuff like that on backburner. Oh, you just thought that his mom's paying his car insurance at 30 quite recently Yeah, what the why do you keep finding out things still in our marriage the car was in the shop and I Actually address this with her directly and I was kind of pretty much saying why are you enabling him? He's an adult and she's you're right, but he's his mommy and should be letting go No, I didn't like his mommy too though, and I don't know I get it But I don't want to what you do with no with no stop and you're 5% leaving. Yeah, good luck. Sorry continue continue I'm interrupting I Point out his flaws, but and that I say that he needs to change and that it's for the better But the drive just falls off It's like you go to sleep you wake up and then the the drive that want to change goes away Bro, here's a direct quote from your application to come on the show Yes, I'm far from perfect and aware that I get upset in overreacted times when I feel like I'm being manipulated with crumbs of The truth caked with lies when it comes to our finances. Yeah, I do It's it's the fact that I just find out that his mom his parents are Manipulating you and he's like being like oh, I'm close your ears. Oh, no, no, no, no So don't like I can't be that bad. Oh, no one just a delicate little flower You're just allowing all this manipulation and him like I'm gonna get better. I'm gonna get better. Oh, yeah I know I need to get better. I'm gonna do all the nothing. You're just allowing it red line in the sand pushback a thousand miles I Am a pushover. Yeah, sure. I mean, I don't you don't deserve that. I definitely need to do Okay, you have another one in questions one thousand three hundred thirty two dollars and a thousand one hundred or a thousand nine hundred ninety eight Very good. Okay student loans. We got some student loans. Hi. You not have that or is this the student loans? No, the student debt is my debt. I That's it No, I got more collections. Well, you have collections to your way. Okay. Is the thousand and ninety eight you the who? One thousand nine hundred ninety eight. What is that from? I don't know. It doesn't say that's from When I was in my past relationship with my partner We had a lot of issues and they weren't one hell shot pay with bills Who's the problem the payday? I'm sure you had no issues No, and then I kind of convenient on this show how everyone is not the problem in their past relationships. I caught a Sign up for a secret shopper job and I've been trying to get that one What what's the word? I don't even know what a secret shopper job is somebody goes into a store and Kind of like surveys how the Customers are acting or like how the the employees are treating guests and how the store is clean or not so clean It's yeah, I've been in retail my whole life. I see it. I know okay Okay, you guys student loans. Yes. I have two student loans From when I well combination of four thousand four hundred forty eight no degree right? No, only you'll get a certification. That'll be good I've been trying to take some bookkeeping courses and during downtime and that has since been negated I know that's okay. Here's your collections. We got seven sixty one that is the old Verizon bill You wouldn't pay your phone bill. I'm so that was not in my name That was in my ex's name and I've been trying it was in some way you were on it as well It would I gather maybe I don't know if he transferred it to my name without my knowledge after we split up So that before off Verizon I left Verizon and transferred to mint mobile Doesn't matter you may have still owed some money or a contract break for you. I don't know You may have still owed on the phone. No the phone was paid off. Well, I don't know you called them I've been trying to like defer or not. She hasn't even called them. She hasn't even called for Guys, I cannot advocate for you if you will not have a phone call with the company that you owed money to I think I've actually got an email that is from them, but I have been trying to dispute Doesn't matter. Why'd you not at least call I get the dispute this is an important step Yes, why not call Verizon? Hey, why do I owe this? Oh my gosh? How could you not start with the most basic thing I cannot advocate for you if you can't even make a phone call That's as bad as him. So that one is under my dead name And with my legal name change, I don't know if they're gonna try and fight it. So I didn't name change a legal name Yeah, they really changed. Oh, you do have a dude's name. No way. No, you don't well No, it's like the middle. I mean You can go either way Yeah, yeah, I know Okay, well either way just make a phone call. I don't know yeah home. Yeah, I'm trans and like something happened my name Sorry, but I also have like I can show you it's me. I got my social security number. That doesn't change correct Okay, you have collections two thousand one hundred sixty four as well. Is it the same as that one? No, it doesn't look like it. Okay. There's one that says Balinsky Didn't say this Yeah And the next one is a duplication of the same thing 221 and there's one that it's the same exact amount and it's from the same place I think we got rid of the duplication I've been fighting that for so long to dispute it on credit karma and they're just like well There's nothing we can do about it. Well credit karma. No, you might have to be in touch with the actual bureaus. Oh Look, I would any shit. I didn't think about that. They're I had my identity stolen Because we thought it was double oh no, there is two Yes separate amounts. Oh two separate amounts. So maybe the two thousand one hundred sixty four was Either way charter you also owed Spectrum yeah, so what whatever is to what doesn't necessarily matter We know we have all this collections and yeah at this point You're just gonna have to negotiate them down again on payment plans, right? That's what it's gonna be But we need to budget you It's a budget this household this doesn't work if you guys you don't have to fully combine every account But I think everything should go into a joint checking and then disperse from there So we can only decide where money is going we use dollar wise to understand where everything's going right? You use your certifications you get your education with master money You do you take advantage of all the tools like every guys has you change your life like they have but it doesn't work If you guys don't communicate you need to go to a couple therapy and she shouldn't be the one that has to book it Like stop stop being a little boy You're being a little boy, and then I'm sorry for the gendered term, but you're acting like a child there we go It's a five thousand comes in No debt minimums because they're all in collection well student loans Is there a minimum that four thousand four hundred forty eight they're active, so I'm not quite sure But you should call them before it defaults and then they garnish your wages Okay, I will I mean I guess I don't know like it's like you just it just started reactivating with the The I don't like something felt through I don't everybody's all through so I know that most people whose student loans were Neutral they weren't gaining interest deferred. Yeah, they were on a deferment. Yeah, because the Supreme Court said no so Biden Yeah, yeah for it for about what was like a year and a half I think that's been done. It's been done for a while now right so mine just started Re-regrowing the interest look at the new repayment assistance plan. Yeah, I was passed under law through the one big beautiful bill Well, you don't like it. However, it's gonna help you so cry about this like okay, listen I don't like spending more than we bring in either but you're gonna this is actually helping you so you can't fucking cry about it It'll bring you down to like even as low as one percent of your income being your payment Oh, that's actually not at all. Yeah, that's doable It just extends the term you have to have before it's forgiven That's fine if you're only doing one percent because you shouldn't be as subsidized as you don't need to be you're making your own career choices And spending money you don't have so thank you So what does it say the minimum is okay, let's put your debt minimums at a hundred. I don't know okay, what's your rent? 702 yes, I know to with the charge fee. Okay. What about internet gas electric utilities all that combined we don't just about CPE is two ten seventy five and our water bill is around a hundred a month We're just getting internet installed. Actually, what's it gonna be a 50? Safely say 60. Okay. I'm gonna say utilities is 371 $90, okay Gas a broom broom drive drive one car, but how much do we spend a hundred a month? I want to say probably 130 you want to text your mom to double check. Yeah, I can go away. She pays for yes So I'm crossing it out for now And does she want you to pay for it? I can we've been talking about getting a transferred over you don't need to I would like you to eventually But I want you to pay off your debt. Okay get out of this collection situation They haven't given me a deadline of when they want to maybe on titty. No, no easy in our food, too Yeah, okay, we should be able to do about just 750 bucks in groceries meal plan meal plan Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, you think yeah, it's a regular thing. Yeah, 750 is good Okay, TP fun anything else you guys need to survive includes diapers and tampons and all that good stuff and makeup 250 bucks Jim. How much oh I was gonna go to play in a fitness Resolution three months in you haven't signed up. Oh my you can't do anything. Okay. How much is playing at fitness 10 bucks? This yeah, it's for a basic membership. I'm pretty sure okay medical healthcare copays I know you go get diagnosed and medicated for everything so Copays for me are free, but monthly it's like a hundred nineteen dollars a month for my Anything on your own medical that I have to think about monthly. No since my 19 Subscriptions, I'll put 40 bucks. You have any pets. Please don't yes, too. I do the poor people always have pets What are they? They're seven years old. Oh, yeah, okay a hundred dollars pet insurance. How much for pet food? Is about 30 bucks and and literally as well and litter yeah, no a hundred bucks a month covers litter for And food for both of them for a month. Anything else that needs to be in this budget This lovely little budget before spotify. I gave you 40 dollars to subscribe. So you decide where that goes. Yeah 33,000 30 dollars you have an extra let's be conservative and say $750 a month away, so that's if you're actually combined because independently you don't just get messy and you'll never know how much you have left over now just save up a couple of month emergency fund that takes literally a couple months and then Start negotiating these that say hey, I have this much to settle actually or just pay them Most of them are small when it comes to the big ones like the 2000 and the 2000 and 1300 yeah, let's do some disputes as we can But even so just like you know, I got a thousand that's all just keep doing that over and over again Never give them access to your bank and just settle you'll pay off this you'll pay off this collection a matter of months Then save up a fully front of the six month emergency fund and then start doing 50 30 20 Would you guys even can on your income in that cheaper area 50% in needs 30% on fun Which is a decent amount of money 20% saving for retirement. You'll be fine. My goodness I don't understand why you guys over complicated this it is because of your behavior Uncontrolled spending because you guys can't communicate which is what you guys actually need to focus on which means go to a couple of therapy Tomorrow gonna get the hammer financial score, but remember doing this for the post show We are gonna download that app and we're gonna see what was being done on it We're gonna let her look through your phone as well for the first time ever it's gonna be a groundbreaking moment Hammer financial score spending in a budget hmm We spent 4648 the income was 4788 Okay, oh, but cash app launch loan draw of 1190 was a part of the income so you spent more than you made zero out of ten That collection zero out ten emergency fund nothing zero ten retirement nothing zero. Oh wow everything's a zero hammer financial score zero out of ten Get yours to kill hammer calm join hammer leap for three premium shows every single day money Tuesday Once a Thursday Friday Saturday and get an extra 20 minutes of this show called the financial auto post shows gonna be good I'll see you there download that shit No So giving you a little tingle reading it What's he saying? I face palm as I remove my hands Do you have a reason why you say you struggle to initiate? But you can't have a conversation Hammer Elite is the best YouTube membership on the platform and I just upgraded it Three exclusive dedicated shows every single day Monday through Friday join with the link in the pin comment or description below This is the best membership you'll ever join. That's a promise