The Three Garridebs - Part One

Audio books, ad-free early access adventures, mailbag episodes, case file episodes, AMAs, behind the scenes, micro adventures authored by Watson himself, a Discord channel with nearly 2,000 chat-a-little members, merchandise discounts, exclusive events and… yes, done. Yeah, it's the most important bit, mate. Oh, Patreon.com forward slash Sherlock and Co. Thanks. Okay. Um, hi, guys, and welcome to the adventure of the three Gary Debs. I'm, I'm Mariana. As you know, I had to, uh, kind of, um, had to cut, I had to kind of cut this episode together and everything, so I hope it's okay. And I did all the, right, uh, things that John usually does. Uh, with the heck did I call it three Gary Debs? We've already got three students and three Gables. Ugh, damn it. Anyway, um, uh, yeah, that's annoying. Uh, what else, what else am I supposed to… Oh, uh, this is part one of three and it contains violence and references to abuse. Um, there are other further, even, warnings in the episode description. So, yeah. Okay, bye. Sir, this is Buckingham Palace. Yes, I'm aware of that. I was just told that the microphone would be allowed for the ceremony. No devices. But I was told. I deliberately reached out beforehand, right? No, no, no, no, no devices. It's okay, John, don't worry. But this is, this is Seminole, he's getting bloody knighted. Sir, please. Please hand over the microphone or we cannot allow entry into the Nighting Ceremony. Ugh. Okay, okay, fine, fine. I'm really sorry, listeners. We will see you on the other side with Sir Sherlock Holmes. Exciting! My name is Dr John Watson. Once of the British Army Northumberland Fusillier Regiment. Now, a true crime podcast that based in central London. I don't have much experience in criminology. So this is mostly a record of how I met possibly the most brilliant and bizarre person I have ever and will ever know. Join me as I document the adventures of Sherlock Holmes. The End They should do like tea at the seating here, because I can't really see the front at all. Mm-hmm. Thing is, athletes get so many bloody nightgoads these days, which is fine. You know, I'm all for it, good for them, you know. But they're all so bloody tall. And obviously, down the front. So, you know, I can't even see past their heads. Hey. I'm not complaining. They're entitled to it, they worked hard. Hey. What? Look what I snuck in. Oh, spare Mike! Mike Jr. Boy, am I glad to see you. Shh. Oh, shit, sorry. Ahem. Ah-ha-ha. Yes, Mariana. I knew they'd go back on their word of allowing access, so... If they want to put some kind of imposition on us, then I will put one on them. Ha. Ha-ha-ha. Yeah, nobody expects the Spanish in position. Ha-ha. What? Doesn't matter. Here we go. Uh, why are you standing there? Oh, so I thought we'd stand for music like at a wedding. For services to business, charity and society, Mr. Walton Glyn Hershaw. Hello. Again, we don't need commentary. King is tall, isn't he? Hmm. What's that, just because, you know, people go and kneel in front of him, so he just looks taller. I don't know, John. Do you reckon anyone's ever used that sword? Like, you know, properly used it, used it in anger. No. Does he keep it here, or bring it with him from Windsor Castle, do you reckon? And when he leaves the house, it's like keys, wallet, phone, sword. Ha-ha-ha. I mustn't forget that. Good God, I am going to take his sword and stab you with it if you don't stop talking. Sorry, I'm-I'm nervous. Why are you nervous? I'm just nervous for my friend. This is not an occasion to be nervous about. This is about celebrating him, honoring him. No, yeah, I know. I know. Arise, Sir Walton Glyn Hershaw. For services to law enforcement and victims of crime. Oh my God, oh my God, oh my God, here we go, here we go. Mr. Sherlock Ho. Yes! Sherlock! Yes! Oh, I'm guessing people don't clap at this bit. Oh, we do, mate. We do. Woo-hoo! Where is he? Can you see him? No, not yet. Mr. Sherlock Holmes. What the? Mr. Sherlock Holmes. Oh God. Oh, where is he? Ah, afternoon, John. Take a look at these fluffy little fellows. Pancakes. Yes. Aren't they just the most scrumptious looking delectables you've ever seen? Um, Sherlock. Yes, John? You were supposed to be knighted today by the King of England. Ah, yes, I was. You see, I got rather distracted. By pancakes? No. OK. By what? Such a curious little chain of events yesterday that I spent all night investigating, and all morning here ruminating. Sorry, um, it...wait. I have also been assembling these fossils. I'd very much like to reignite my collection. Look at that trilobite, John. Devonian, no less. Yep, lovely part of the world. Good-sider. Sherlock, look. 400 million years old. Hmm. Pancake? No, thank you. Can I just...I know you think I come across as a bit of a square when it comes to country and tradition. Mm-hmm. But this was a knighthood, Sherlock. People refuse knighthoods, John. More common than you'd think. Can we throw this out? No, we can't. That's a smart lamp. I just bought it. Seems rather stupid to me. Smart lamp? Tell me the time. See? Nothing. Smart lamp, light on. See? Its job is to light. Rather restrictive. Sherlock, yes, you are right. People reject knighthoods, they do. But you didn't. You accepted. Yeah, you said you'd attend and then you didn't. You made pancakes instead. And assembled my fossils. Yes, that too. Like I said, the pancakes were incidental to the rumination period that was required. Forget about the bloody pancakes. Sherlock. What? It... This country wanted to celebrate you with its highest honour. It wanted to thank you for all those crimes solved, those people saved from being endangered, and those that were endangered for the justice you delivered to them. And you just... You didn't even show up. This is an occasion for an apology. Of course not. I don't... Like... I'm not having a go. I'm just... Confused. And maybe that's why I'm sounding annoyed. I just... I don't understand. Sorry, I don't understand. You know what I like to do when I don't understand something. Please don't say make pancakes. Okay, fine. What would you like me to say? Oh, for God's sake. Are you not curious about my curiosity? No. Suspicious about my suspicion? Nope. Bewildered by my bewilderment? I'm ignoring you. Fine. Then I shall have to speak with this beguiling fellow. Hello there, Mr Holmes. Would you like a pancake? What's he doing now? My wax figure. Where else would he be? In your room. Where we agreed he'd be? I sensed he was getting rather bored. Yeah, I know the feeling. I've just sat through a knighthood ceremony for four hours. They should be knighting me for services to bladder control. Any news on Moran? We have decided to not discuss Mr Moran or Mr Napoleon. Who's we? Me and my waxy colleague. Of course, yes. And would your waxy colleague like a knighthood, or does he have trouble bending at the knees? Our villains must be starved of resources of nutrients, dear Watson. And they soon one day will encrust into the form like that of a fossil. Nothing but an imprint of dust. Of how they once affected their environment so. But no more. No more. We bury them deep, deep down. Yes, let me know if I agree there. Oh, wow. Oh, they are fluffy. So, I have decided to indulge in what we enjoy, rather than darken our minds musing on the destructive despots that wish us to go stale with such fixation. Right, it's just our company. We, we solve crimes. Oh, there's crime, Watson. I have no doubt about that. And of course, it's Tendrils' feed into the elusive Moran. Okay, good. To quote our little listening friends, I'm in my crime-solving era. Locked in. I'm so back. Ah-ha, they don't like it when you do that. Okay, fine. But let me just say, you're giving John Watson vibes, and I'm so here for it. Please stop. You sound as old as a Devonian fossil. Go off, King. You don't even know what that means. What does it mean, then? I don't know. All I know is it's ironic, considering your actions this morning were more fuck off, King, than go off, King. Ah, speaking of people younger and cooler than us, email Lily Lestrade. Yes, yes, yes, I know. Ignore her. What do you mean, you know? We just received the email. The email says that Moran has been spotted on a dockyard camera alongside a man that served 23 years for murder. Killian Evans? Killian Evans, indeed. How did you know that? Wiggins, of course. How do you not know that? He's your dog sitter. Do you only converse on such business? Rather transactionary, are you, John? Very telling. Well, you j- How does he know? He knows many things. Evans began the very first irregular network once upon a time. It was only people like Wiggins that took it out of his cruel hands, turned the organisation into a force for more noble means, and not something in service of dark and twisted ventures in the murky depths of this city. What do we do? Like the boy I once was on the beaches of Devon, we hunt. For fossils? For crime. At the very least, it will keep our minds fresh. Come, I wish to show you what I've been working on. Let's cook, Bestie. Oh, God. Welcome to Baker Street Underground Station, John. Thanks. I use it nearly every day, but okay. Opened on the 10th of January, 1863. It is one of the first underground stations in the whole world, in fact. Serving that first ever line, of course. The Metropolitan Line? Well done. 100 points. Now, let us locate that line on this map here. Come. Oh, goodness. Your hands are freezing. Yeah, well, you know what they say. What do they say? Cold hands. Warm hearts. Has this been presented in a thesis of some kind? Well, Carol says it. Eyes. Look here. Don't need to look at a tube map. Actually, you do. For this is the shiny hook that shall entangle deep into your gills. Look, it did mine. And pull you out of the blue, salty comforts and into the sloppy bucket of this captivating case. Delightful language, as always. Okay, fine, yes. Big tube map on the wall of the station, looking at it. We are here. Baker Street. Let's imagine we were stood at street level and we wish to get from the volunteer to here. To Sloan Square. Yes. Easy. Okay. Now we introduce the criteria of the challenge. Let's say we wanted to get from the volunteer in the middle of a weekday to Sloan Square. Totally unseen. Unseen. Unseen. By camera, by witness, even without a single digital package collected. Pfft. It's not possible. That's like three miles across London. Except I can demonstrate that it is. Now we've arrived in Camden. Specifically just outside of Mornington Crescent Station. You are going to meet a new friend of mine. Not made out of wax, is he? No. She isn't. Just this door here. Hi Sherlock. Olivia, hello. Have you solved it? Very, very nearly. And in more good news, I have managed to recruit my colleague onto the case. Ta-da. Hi, I'm John. Olivia. Could we come in? So basically what happened was I was going to work. What do you do, Olivia? Oh waitress in town. It was a Friday. I was going in to do a shift from 3pm to 11pm. I left my flat here at like maybe 2.35pm, something like that. 2.36pm says your smart doorbell footage. Continue. Yeah, walked over to the station. That's Mornington Crescent Tube, yeah? Yeah, I was going to go down there. But I see an old friend from school, Naomi. She says she's moved sort of near me. She seems a bit stressed. She's had a maniac of a boyfriend for years now. And I asked her if she's alright and she's 100% like not okay. And on something, I think. Anyway, she eventually just says, I'm really sorry Livs, can I just get your help? My TV is literally out in the alleyway and I need someone to help me lift up the stairs to my new flat. And I was like, course, that sounds like a nightmare. I'm expecting this TV to have been nipped by the time we get there. I go out with her across the road. We walk a bit down Phoenix Road. Here, we have that on camera. See, look at my phone. Sorry, what's this? This is the footage of what Olivia is describing to us. Yeah, that's me and Naomi. See, we walk down the road. This is her right turn. This one here? Yeah, that alley. Okay, there you go. Right, where are you now? We don't know. You don't know? I don't remember anything. I kind of, like if I think really hard, I can kind of see the alley. I think. Maybe I'm making it up, not sure, but I don't remember a thing. Jesus. Okay, when do you surface from the alleyway? She doesn't. What? Olivia never comes out of that alley, John. Sure, I know you're the clever one, but she is literally right there in front of us. This is the traffic monitoring camera of the Blackfriars Underpass at Blackfriars Bridge, around three miles away. Okay. Watch. Oh, shit. That's you. That's me. Olivia here went into an alleyway near Camden Town on Friday the 13th and didn't reappear in any footage on any mobile data masked, on any witness account, anecdotal account, phone call, handheld video, nothing. That is, until the 16th Monday morning, there she is, three miles away. Three days later, next to the Thames at Blackfriars Bridge. How's that even possible? Teleportation. I mean, you tell me. Did you have any injuries or anything? This. Here. Pretty severe friction and strains on your wrist, handcuffs maybe. Even handcuffs have more forgiving mouldings. Cable ties, I'd say. Shit. I'm sorry, Olivia. Um, hey, you don't have to answer. And I can cut it from my documentation if you want, but are there any signs of sexual abuse that you know of? No, no. It's fine. And no. No, okay. Okay, can I just check you've been medically cleared in all those areas? Yeah. You've only been offered well-being support from professional mental health services, yeah? I have, yeah. Good. Good. Um, again, I'm really sorry. We'll do everything we can. You've got the best man on the job, eh? Yeah, he says he's very, very nearly solved it. You do much better than the police. Yes, I often do. So, what is it then? Ah, we are leaving me in the dark now, are we? Oh, where we are going, there'll be plenty of that. Of what? Leaving me in the dark? Dark. What's the... lots and lots of that. God's sake, so we're... what? Going in a... a dark house? Not quite. No. You'd be better delving into your memory than the machinery rooms of your critical thinking. Oh, yeah, would I know? We have spoken, have we not, of London's subterranean rivers. Oh, God. Exactly. And which one runs north to south? Through Camden, where we currently reside, and plops out into the Thames at Blackfriars. Oh, the fleet. The river fleet. Here is our alleyway, where Naomi lives. Right-o. Yes. Would you look at that. No cameras, rather tight, narrow alleyways, isn't it? And look, we can't go to Naomi's after all. Why not? Do you see a door anywhere? No. But doors are everywhere, are they not Watson? For those with the eyes to see them. And do you have the eyes to see them? In this case, I certainly do. Out the way. What? Get out the way. I'm not in the way, I'm just stood next to you. Yes, and you're in the way. What? A brick wall? Oh, sorry, was she kidnapped by wizards? I don't understand what you're saying, so I'm just going to push you. Ow! Ow, there we go, thank you. No. Know what? We're not opening a manhole cover. Of course we are. Sorry, why? To enter one of the many subterranean passageways of London. This one being a riverway, that we believe is being utilized for illegal and sinister means. This one being human trafficking. Oh my God, how did you even think of this? The mind works in curious ways, John. Its thoughts and workings often so silent, it finds other ways to draw you to its findings, like a pebble being thrown to a closed window. The pebble in this instance manifested inside me as an urge, an urge to examine my old fossils that I had collected as a boy. And then it came to me. Deposition, compression, lithification, uplift. They're underground. Subterranean artefacts, amazing. What about the pancakes? What were they for? Oh, I just felt like having pancakes. Oh. There we go. Don't worry, I've got it. Really, don't rush. Did you get tutoring for sarcasm, or have you just been paying more attention? Don't you worry, you're pretty little head about me, just lifting a hundred kilogram cast-hired manhole cover to aid missing persons and victims of human trafficking. Fine, fine. Ah! Oh, there we go. Oh, look at this lovely ladder. Yeah, isn't it charming? I like the ornamental castings. Just get down the stupid ladder. Come, come. How exciting. Uh-huh. Stay with me, John. A little widen as we head further south. Oh. Yeah, you know what I always say about caving, mate? Oh, yes. What's that? The best thing about caving is that you don't have to do it. You could just sit at home and have a cup of tea, watch TV or something. I suppose. Yet here I am, mate. Yes, here you are. Ah, and here... Oh, you... Ow! River Fleet. Ah, well, OK. Say hello to the River Fleet. Hello, River Fleet. And if we trot on down this way, we should, I hope. Find... Find what? Some criminals. Wonderful. You think, um... Mr. Evans could be down here? Isn't that why we're here? We are here for victims, John. That is all we know. I really hope so. Shush now. How far away do you think they are? Hard to say. But we are at least covered by the sound of the river for now. Come, tread carefully and quietly. I only see two of them. Yeah, me too. Lucky for us. They seem unarmed. Yes, do we? I'll get the one on the left. Watch that. You get the one on the right. Yes, thank you. I had made that deduction. Just making sure. A little closer. And three... Two... One... Go. Do you want a drown, mate? Do you want a drown? And stay still. And don't move. Sherlock, what are you doing? Oh, I just knocked my one out. Okay, um... Do you want me to knock your one out? Um... Sorry, stop struggling. Do you want to be knocked out? Would you rather be knocked out or subdued like what we're currently doing? Uh, the... Outcomes the same. Yes. Yes. Oh! I'd rather not be knocked out. Sorry, I'll do it. Right, well, it's a good job I can see these in your back pocket, isn't it? It's not. That's... That's cable ties. Or what? Cable. That's good. Oh, really? What do you do? Oh, electrician... Subterranean... Uh... Technician. What colour is live, what colour is neutral, and what colour is Earth? Are you deaf? Or colour blind? Or both? Um... Tie him up, Watson. With pleasure. Not pleasure in a weird kinky way. Just more like... Hey, hey, stop. What is it? I think it's a backpack. Open it. Holy crap. Oh, there's... There's be twenty of them in here. Well, they're victims, perhaps. Right, so they take them and... They make sure that despite there being no signal down here, they are not used under any circumstances. Wait, wait, shh. Help! Oh, my God. Joe! Help! This way. Hello? Are you okay? Are you alone? No, it's free of us. Where are your captains? They... they ran. Literally, like, five minutes ago. I see you, I see you. Oh, my God. Hi. Hi. It's okay, Joe. Cut these ties. Are you asleep? Something like that. Is this real? Is this actually happening? It's real. It's real. You're okay. You're safe. Hi. Again. So, that's the first part that's sort of needed. And then we have to kind of skip two weeks forward. Which is now. Okay. So... Yeah. Big... ...dinosaur. You are aware it's not real. Yeah, but his bones are real, aren't they? You know, this is the Natural History Museum, mate. They can't have plastic dinosaur skeletons. They accept that it is a plastic dinosaur skeleton. Oh. Oh, well, that's a lad, don't? Yes, well, it's nice to appreciate the scale of what these beasts once were. Hmm. I'd like to leave now. Why? These collections. I'm only reminded that mine was once such a source of... ...fulfillment. But now, I can't even restart mine. Why don't you? Hmm. Dedication. Space. Well, you don't have to have some vast stash of fossils. You could just get some really decent ones. I mean... I dunno, do they have a rarity scale, like Pokemon cards or football stickers? Of course they do. So then, get the best of the best. The shinies. Huh? Life's too short. These guys will be the first to tell you that. One minute you roam in the earth, next your jaw bone's in a glass case being looked at by tourists. Well, I was looking at some online postings this morning, and there was a clear out sale at a house in Paddington. Well, let's do it. You're sure? Yeah, let's bloody do it, mate. Fossil hunting time. Well, it's just a straightforward in-person purchase. Well, straight forward in-person purchasing time. Oh, it's more of a cactus kind of kid. A cactus kid? Yeah, he never really did the fossil thing, but I'd always get a cactus if there was a bit of pocket money spent. What species? Spiky ones. I never liked the fluffy ones. Get lost. Give me a proper spiky bastard. Oh, goodness. Holy crap, is that his house? Yes. Beauty. Indeed. Very unique. It's a Garadeb. A what? A Garadeb. What does that mean? Alexander Garadeb. A rather eccentric art deco architect. Not many of his buildings survived the war. Cookie doorway. Someone that designs a building like this must be a little bit cramped. Don't eat the pigeons. See? Don't do it. Sorry, I wasn't going to eat any pigeons. Good. Because they're friends of mine. Right. Yeah? No, of course. Hello there. I'm Sherlock. I messaged about your collection. Best coming, kind of. Okay, then we got it. You've amassed quite the compilation of species, Nathan. What's that supposed to mean? It means I admire your work. Well done, sir. Yeah, yeah. You've been doing it all my whole, my whole life. All my life I've been doing it. Oh, great stuff. And why do you wish to part with them now? Because, because, because, because someone buying the house, isn't it? Someone buying me a house. Ah, another precious collectible being sold off. No choice, huh? No choice for me, for Nathan, right? Don't touch the rug. I'm not touching the rug. Your shoes are. I'm stood on it. Why, why, why, why? Because it's a rug. Let's just move you over there, shells. There we go. Rug is untouched now. So, um, what, what do you mean, Nathan? You're being forced out of the house. The government, the guy. It's the government, you see? Right? I'm not stupid. You think I'm stupid? And I'm not. No, I don't think it's stupid at all. They need the house, right? Because this spies. And the spies will be able to access the top secret telecommunications slice. Run through my property. And, and, and, and, and, and they want to use that to spy on people. Yeah? Do you understand that? So the government came to you and what? They made me an offer. Ah, a big one. Yes, sir. Right, well, it's good for you. Not really, though. I've got nowhere else to go like this. I've never not left this house since I was little, right? I don't know anywhere else, huh? Do you stay inside all day, Nathan? I do, like, yeah. Can I just check these windows? Don't open them. Just, you might need the ventilation. Don't open the windows. Okay, sure, sure, no problem. I said to John here, it is a garrison. It is a garradeb, is it not? Yep. And one of the last. One of the last. Do you know how many remain? Yeah, they said, they did one in the two, two, two of us. One down in Victoria, one in Euston. Three garradebs. And have your buyers... The government, yeah? Yes. Have they shown interest in the other two properties? Probably. They ain't stupid. But truth be told, right? Truth be told, come here. Come here. Come closer. Okay. They don't know what they're getting themselves into. They don't? Oh, no. Oh, no, my friend. With the house? That's right. People have become... possessed. Tormented. Easy. Right. I hear it at night. At night. I hear the voices. I hear the screams. Okay, that's okay. Are you sure there's nothing I can do to help in any way? You can't have it! Is it not for sale? Don't touch it! Get back! In fact, bloody get out! Both of you, out of my house! Get out! Well, that didn't go to plan. No, it did not. It tormented, possessed house. Intrigued? Indeed.