"Monstro SarahNicole" (w/ Sarah Sherman) (RE-RELEASE)

This is an I Heart Podcast. Guaranteed Human. You've seen the selfies? Come on, we'll get the shot. Now see the real hair. There's so much confidence in myself I need to build. Princess Andre is back with the Princess Diaries on ITVX. This is actually dreamy. She's still unfiltered and still figuring it out. I've seen firsthand what heartbreak can look like to people. Bansay, she's an amazing role model and the show is heartfelt and inspiring. I'm so excited if you guys come along with me. The Princess Diaries series 2. Stream now on ITVX. Look, man. Oh, I see him. I'm alive. Oh, and look over there. Wow, is that culture? Yes. Wow. Last culture, it's us. Ding dong! Last culture, it's calling. We need some laughter today. Oh, yes. On a week like this. I used to dream. It was better days. I used to dream and I hoped I'd never wake up. I had my first amazing sleep of, I guess, the year, but I guess the last like six months. Today. I've been sleeping so bad. What would you attribute you're a good sleep to? No more, I'm asked. No more. Oh, you're not using it anymore? It's crazy. I think it's the winter time. This is so deeply boring to talk about. But I... Let's just skip it. Let's skip. We need to talk about. I want to hear. No, no, no, no. I don't like the posture. It's, I don't like the posture that you have right now. Frogass bit. Frogass bit. You're a frogass bit. Because I have an explanation as to why I'm sitting like this. What's the next go ahead? And so why don't we just use... So you had a first thing you wanted to say in quotes. It's the first thing. Sarah brought a gun to the studio. That's what she wanted us to say. You better, I have a first thing to say and you better ask me again, even though this is not what we do with our repeat guests. Ask me again what was the culture that we say culture is for me. What's your explanation for this? I have to say like this because as you know, I came to the studio today with a triangle head. Which means what? Is my hair a triangle? A pyramid head like in Silent Hill? I couldn't tell if you wanted to be told yes or no. I just like no. If you guys were my friends, you would be like, girl, you do have triangle heads and I, but that's okay. And just rock it. I told you what you have. You have, it's not a triangle shape. It's an isosahedron, a 20-sided figure. Not the name. Because I said it. An isosahedron. Bullets. Can you look that up? 20-sided figure. I think it's an isosahedron. Oh my god. I thought you were kidding for being hilarious. What is it? I saw the sagan. I saw the sagan. I saw the TV sagan. I saw the TV glow-sagan. I saw the TV glow-sagan. I had to drink the other night. I saw sagan. Like if you guys did not know if you guys did not know if you guys did not know if you guys did not know if you guys did not know if you guys did not know if you guys did not know if you guys did not know if you guys did not know if you guys did not know if you guys did not know if you guys did not know if you guys did not know if you guys did not know if you guys did not know if you guys did not know if you guys did not know if you guys did not know if you guys did not know if you guys did not know if you guys did not know if you guys did not know if you guys did not know if you guys did not know if you guys did not know if you guys did not know if you guys did not know if you guys did not know if you guys did not know if you guys did not know if you guys did not know if you guys did not know if you guys did not know if you guys did not know if you guys did not know if you guys did not know if you guys did Okay. Now I have to have her turn obviously right back around and come back. That's actually crazy. Why? Because there was one episode you weren't on and it just happened to be the episode that your sister was on. I know. It was a long island. A long island. A long island. Runner. Running. We like the same things. I guess but your thing is going to make us see Kelly Clarkson. It could be yours. It could be yours too. You want to come? I'm going again to see Mariah's Shania. Oh my God. I literally just found out that I'm available and I'm going. Mariah's Shania. I mean, I am available too or yes. I mean, you're available too. You want to come? Come. Wait, Vegas. Vegas lost. We're going to have such a ball. Vegas come a loss. Oh, you seriously? We're going to be big. It's not enough. It's because they haven't this. We could be troubling as she always every week is going. We're blocking out this week at the after party. By the way, first of all, never once happens. And number two, guess how much it takes me to black out? Maybe four and a half point two sips of one gin and tiger tonic. Oh, you should be wearing it. Not a tank at all. No, not a Sherman tank as they would like to think pancakes on the ceiling after a sip. You're kidding me. That's disgusting. Well, to black out immediately. I thought, wait, is pancakes on the ceiling meeting you put off so hard projects out? It hits the ceiling and it never comes while the pancakes hold. No, I just like random sauce. Wait, what's the reason you were sitting like that? So I could just like kind of like, you wouldn't really see the triangle. There's no triangle. You know, I'm saying like guys, I just like to be drawn the correct name of the... Oh, I saw a song of it. It's not a nice, I saw a song. She clearly said Becca clearly said she couldn't pronounce it. She threw a bunch of sounds together her in her mouth and whispered that. You were Becca's playing it. That's Rob Becca. Rob. I've never even thought of you as being a Rebecca. You're Becca. That's how I always felt. Wait, your necklace literally not to be like this. Oh, whoa. She's bringing it Rebecca necklace. Because my mother was like, this is my gift to you in very Latin fashion. I'm going to give you a giant gold. So with your name on it. With your name on it. Okay. So well. But I always go like that. Okay. It's very formal to me. It's very formal. It's sort of like how you forget that my phone name is Matthew. If you really think about it for even two seconds, you'll remember. Right. But you wouldn't have known. Wait until you find out about the power of Sarah Nicole. Sarah Nicole. Sarah Nicole. Sarah Nicole should be your stage name. Sarah. Sarah Nicole. That's my like alley. It's like your angel. It's like I just want to see like an Angelina's photo and like all over it with just Sarah Nicole. You beat it is. Rock and roll out. I want I want to Rebecca name play that says Jewish American princess. Wow. I'm Sarah Nicole. Presents. Pump it up with Sarah Nicole, Jewish American princess. You know, pump it up. We have to get into it. Everyone, please welcome into your ears. Sarah. Sarah. Sarah. Sarah. Sarah. Sarah Nicole. Sarah Nicole. What was the first thing you had to say? You remember what was that? That was it. The triangle. I tried to get it out of the way. I just had it because I knew everybody was going to be like sorry. Your readers are going to be opening the book and seeing that I. What? I don't like fun of it. I don't like the way that you you bet. You had poison venom wrapped around every word of that. You're right. I'm feeling naughty today. I'm feeling naughty today. I'm feeling naughty today. I'm feeling naughty today. I'm feeling naughty today. There's something I can't stop thinking about as we're watching the new season of the traitors. Sarah has boiled it down too. That's so basically being people they to each other. People they to this. You're being evil. You're being evil. It's like all reality and like pretends melts away. We forgot. We're all pretends. But it's like they're forgetting that it's a game. No, I love that. I love it. I love it. And people are really crying hard and feel betrayed like when. Okay, so spoiler alert for the traitors if you haven't watched yet. We're going to talk a little bit about it. When he got voted out. Oh, that's crazy. You were so up. You were so up. You were so up. You were so up. You're a cop. That was shut up. You got him. You got him last year because he was so overwhelmed. Oh my god. Yes. Oh, I forgot the job. The boxer. And that was like the encapsulation of the problem, which is like people if they're forgetting that it's a game and they're like literally like you're literally being evil. I think you are evil. I think you are evil. And your behavior is evil and it's been evil. Ever since the traitors were chosen. Ever since Alan made his choice. I love whenever they say since Alan made his choice. Like as Alan coming himself is actually picking. But there's something important in the tone that Sarah is embodying, which is you're being evil. You're getting the fact that it what well that's why they have to say Alan coming chose. Yeah. Right. So that they remember that evil is not inherent. It's a construct. It's a construct. It's a construct. Because then they get lost in the sauce and they go like they start calling. They're like I have to leave because evil is a foot. I think that people. Well, here's a question. Do you believe people are born wicked or do they have wickedness thrust upon them? And this actually goes into the other section. I had to say with the coming into the studio with a gun. We didn't even know you had a second thing. Right. You didn't tell us anything. We just knew there was a first thing. Remember when I said I texted you guys and I was like so when are you going to ask me like what culture is for me? We already asked you the first time you were on the show. You're a third of me. Actually, we had we've had it. P we we understand P we don't have a better than again. There is a different and it explains actually how I feel about the the nature of good and evil. Okay. Because actually and you're what was the culture that made you say culture was for you Sarah. Tell us. Tell us. This is the laughing episode. It's the worst one. Literally. Well, it can be explained. Let's just take a moment because we're about to miss the worldwide meditation because we're recording this podcast in honor of David Lynch's memory. I was just going to say you're the perfect person to have on this week. For many reasons. For so many reasons. For so many reasons. Because it's the laughing episode. It's the laughing episode. The substance is about to rack up lots of us. It's about to wrap. I think I was literally think I was sitting on the toilet as I you know as I do as we all do. Are you doing your best thinking and shitting? Of course. I actually did you find out that's what I was going to say. What? Did you know you're not supposed to sit on the toilet for longer than 10 minutes? Have you ever had something more unfair? It's really it's a such a beautiful place. It's the best place to remain. I love remaining there. I said there's sometimes I'm like I'm going to remain. I'm not exit remain. No I won't remain. What am I thinking of what remains? Is that an Oprah's bestseller? What remains? It's not an Oprah's bestseller. What remains? Do you do anyone have the capability of doing what? You're thinking of what lies been needed. What lies been needed? You're thinking of what happened by Hillary Clinton. Which was a bath tub. Which was about the election. You're thinking of a lot of things. I've got to do. I have to do. What remains? Oh awesome. What remains? I think you're thinking of. There's a film from between two that's what remains. It couldn't be that. You're thinking of the good earth by Pearl S. But I think that's what I'm saying. I think that's what I'm saying. So what was the culture that made you say culture? I do think I realized we do have to be taking a moment for last culture. Is this to say David Lynch? Okay. So I think I. I'm producing you. I basically know nothing. I am so illiterate with David Lynch. We've actually been saying now for several months that we're going to get into Twin Peaks. You should. You know why you guys should. You love beautiful women and you love intrigue. Love. Yeah, that's actually true. I love actually so true. And I don't want to spoil anything. But basically in the larger, in the three season arc of Twin Peaks. You guys are looking at me so seriously. Because you're. You're. Early interest expert. I just think that it's like you guys really take women's like voices seriously. You literally go. You guys are being evil. You guys are being evil. You guys are actually like really evil. Do you think you'd be a good trader or a bad trader? You'd be an amazing trader. I think I would. No, because remember every time I'm going to sketch, I have to act serious. Well, you're like Carolyn in a way. Like you're like your. You're so hard to pin down. Thank you for saying that. It's like she's acting crazy. She's acting. She's right. It's like you're both the same in that way. Everyone's like, oh, Sarah is being Sarah. But in fact, she is deep down. But do the face that I do when I'm trying to act serious. This is this is if you tell Sarah, she has to like be like serious. We keep it straight based into the schedule. This is the best you can do. You're doing a straight man role is my favorite thing. I guess it's like we are on stage doing a comedy show. Right. No, but Sarah is truly joy personified. And then like I happen to be laughing and then they're like, oh, you're in a court scene. I'm like, can you do your court face please? But Sarah was in the nostril to prosthetics this Saturday. She's slayed by the way. And meanwhile, like it's supposed to look terrifying. But everyone's like, that's the most adorable person of every. Ruben MacAuliffe or did comments. And I am the next morning and said, did you know that you actually looked like a supermodel? I was like, you did. You're so captivating. You've never looked where before. I was like, no, I know my arms are so skinny. I was like, insane. When you have a hunchback, it like kind of like does the optical illusion where it's like your arm actually starts. Oh, you do look the Liam Michelle thing like this. Yeah, yeah, she can. You were monster. I was but like skinny chic hot. Right. Secret dangling from the lips. Nostro. Nostro. Nostro. Nostro. Nostro Nostro Nostro Nostro Nostro Nostro Nostro Nostro Nostro Nostro Nostro Nostro Nostro Nostro Nostro Nostro Nostro Nostro Nostro Nostro Nostro Nostro Nostro Nostro Nostro Nostro Nostro Nostro Nostro Nostro Nostro Nostro Nostro Nostro Nostro Nostro Nostro Nostro Nostro Nostro Nostro Nostro Nostro Nostro Nostro Nostro Nostro Nostro Nostro Nostro Nostro Nostro Nostro Nostro Nostro Nostro Nostro Nostro Nostro Nostro Nostro Nostro Nostro Nostro Nostro Nostro Nostro Nostro Nostro Nostro Nostro Nostro Nostro Nost or laughing coming out of my mouth. That's amazing. I'm like, you can probably see it glistening and think it's like a douishine, but I'm profusely sweating because I'm laughing so hard. Wait, on sweating. Just to talk about the traders one more time, what is going on with that ball? Oh, I think he's on like crack. Is he having some sort of withdrawal? Oh, it's withdrawal. That's what it is. He's a hot beer. He's a vampire. He never acts like that. He goes to a Scottish palace where they have no phones or he has to travel internationally. Yeah, and then suddenly, you can't bring the drugs in there. Oh, oh! He couldn't sit still and he's sweating so much more than I was. Totally, yes. Can I tell you guys actually something that I was too afraid to admit like four minutes ago? I don't have to be afraid in here. I, I, as soon as they, spoiler alert, as soon as they stop watching, as soon as they've voted after it. No, I literally, this was, I was watching with my boyfriend. I was like, this, what's the whole, yeah. I can't keep, I can't hold my intention. It was actually really rough because they voted out some good people really quickly. They fucked up. That is fucked up. The survivor people that have gone, it's kind of ashamed. Yeah. Wait, who? Cause then. Tony and Jeremy. Jeremy, yeah. Tony? I'm sorry. That's crazy. Are you not caught up? No, I'm not kidding. Every time I boyfriend, and I'm straight, by the way. That's okay. Don't let the shirt betray you. I'm standing with my straight girl. I'm just gonna watch those fashion. What did I say about your shirt? Tell them. It's giving SpongeBob. Cause look. Oh, that's what you meant. What's the thing she meant? I was like, what SpongeBob is this? Is this Sponge like? I thought she was like, it looks like you're on a show. I'm like, oh, you thought I was calling you like random parts. He thought you were just being a bitch. I shake back when I said about how you guys feel about women. Oh, yeah, exactly. I know, I know. I'm a massage guy. I know. Think so many gay guys. What about us? What about gay guys? Go on. Right, it's being taken away. I know it's not just Katie's that listen. Some gay guys do listen still. Hot ones too. Yeah, Kyle. That's a Kyle. That's a subgroup. We actually said that we would officially induct them. No, we can't have five. What do you mean? They said we couldn't have two. They said we couldn't have three. They said we couldn't have four. Kyle's welcome. Welcome. Kyle. We love the Kyle. I love that. I love that. It's crazy. I think about Sarah every day and I smile. I have nothing to contribute to the conversation. I just want to sit here and smile. I just want to go guys. Can I tell you who'd be so furious about that? All the Kyle's. They want to hear from you. Really? Yeah, they're yours. Do you know that you're a gay icon? Or you say, I'm not kidding. I don't take that lightly. And I'm really. You should have. If you did, that would be fucked up. Especially now at the time that we're in. He's sworn in like right. He's getting sworn in like right. Oh no, I watched the whole thing. How is Lizzie survey? Can I tell you something? Here's my three takeaways. It was hell, I'm like a funeral. Two, one nice thing I'll say. I did like Melania's hat. Three. Carrie Underwood sounded bad. Oh. And for all of that to go down and for her to sound strained and shouty. Really? Yeah, it was not good. And are you a Carrie girl or? I can't say I was. I don't know if you're a Carrie girl. I've never really given her no propers on this show. You want to know what it is? I've always not had the best feeling on the vibes. Yeah, yeah. The vibes have always been weird. But does this make you go buyers or more sunbowbice? To do as a culture to bring boba ice back? Well, I was a vanzel, Solomon Grille from the beginning. And I actually love vanzel. And I love vanzel. And vanzel was the singer for game show on could be. Period. Who was long hair? Boba ice. I got my first period while boba ice. And that's the culture that made you say, Minerky, I'm bleeding. And I acted like it wasn't happening. We remember what Stunkey was saying. Because he had a lot of stuff. He was always appearing. He was like, you're pulver, mama, let me get your hand up cold. And mama, I'm sure I'll have to hand on Augusta Rao. Was it that? Because the way that just sent a reptilian chill to the base of my spine. He had a brown, sweet jacket on. And he was holding a guitar. He was always like, what had happened? Tone on tone. Perfectly flat ironed hair. Like really straight stuff laid. When you guys said boba ice, I thought the guy with the gray hair. It was hot. Tailor hips. Tailor hips. He was hot to you, Sarah. Sarah, you need to describe your perfect looking man. Yeah, describe your perfect man. Do you know what I think it is? I want to preface this by saying, I think because I've been a lot of preface and pretensing today, I think because my boyfriend. Straight. Straight. Put your weapons down. Put your weapons down. All right, come and pee today, guys. They're cold kiles. I come and pee, kiles and Katie's like, Emma Rias and Shania's. They're not listening. Mariah forgot she did that. That was like deathbed vibes. When y'all are on your deathbed, like this is perfect. Angel style, you can go like, we did that. Yeah, you know what period? Well, we're gonna say we ate that. And why? When we're 79. We're still gonna be like, twerk and servants' legs. We ate that down. We tore. Deathbed for you too is gonna be 115 years old. I can actually see it. I can see it. I don't want to live that long. He's gonna look the same. I'm gonna look like Nosferot. And not the chic heroin chic. Honey, I'm so old, I'm Nosferot 3. Oh, Tammy tried yourself there. Old bitch. Old bitch. I'm so sorry. Okay, wait. So we were on a thing. The perfect man. The perfect man. Oh, I think because my hair. Taylor Hicks. I think my beautiful long-suffering boyfriend is so. He's so beautiful. He's so like standard cute attractive. And you know, he invented a new term. What? It's cute if all. It's one of something's cute and beautiful. Isn't that lovely? Beautiful. Isn't that lovely? Beautiful. Isn't that crazy? Where's the frown? We want to hear about him. Where's the frown originally from? South server Chicago. Oh, right. Oh, right. Oh, right. And like he's from town called Floss Morris. So you of course you get building jokes like I wish you'd Floss Blossom. Oh, you have a wife. I don't want to do that. Bleeding. I don't floss. You don't. You're a wire. I don't floss. You have the nicest teeth in the show business. So just goes to show what they're telling you is not true. You don't have to do it. Oh, but did you ever have braces? No. You're lying. And some people think I have crooked teeth, but it's because I talk out of one side of my mouth. With a smirk. Like Rachel Maddow, something I found out when I had to do my research. Of course. You hate that, by the way. No, by the way, you know, I had the second my toe came off stage. Every single person was like, hey, hey, you messed up all your words. Fuck. Who said that? Everyone knew. It's live television. Try saying MSNBC 10 times fast. MSNBC. MSNBC. MSNBC. I had to say it one time and I said MFNBAB. You're trying not to say it. You could do it if you really applied yourself. You were you were straining so hard playing a lesbian. I know. I know. I know. I think that's what I have. And then my brain just started like fritzing out. You are a stragett. You really are. Literally. Thank you. From the bottom of my heart. Can I ask you something before you got emotional. When we said that you were a gay icon and you really don't take it like I just talk about that. Because I mean not to be like this. Please. Who do you think besides David Lynch built culture as we know it gay guys. Literally gay. I was gonna say Oprah. It feels like you took that away from her from black women. That's that's looks for you to rob that black women of that. And especially this week. Does anyone know? It really is really hurtful. Okay. I dreamed this or it was real. Does it and I'm not going to look it up because that's I don't need to be like interfacing with screens right now. Didn't you have an episode where she had a bunch of pedophiles on it. Well she had an episode where she had a bunch of pedophiles on it. And then she had another episode where she had like victims. Oh, victims of like today we're hearing the other side. I just love this like star memory of her being like I was like two or whatever like this big. And there was like a bunch of pedophiles on she was like. It sucks that you guys like one of sex with kids. And then I was like watching being like that's a suck. Oh my god that's. I agree with Oprah. I have to say where in this dialogue I'm team Oprah. I'm just. I'm really just. I'm a girl. Meanwhile me being eight being like I wish I don't want to know. I was in love with all my teachers. Really. Of course. I was like precautions a little bit. Who was the one? Wow. And he's moaning and growing. So is this at a shame or out of pure sexual frustration? It is just like. I'm afraid of sweating in your other lips. Jesus. Oh, nurse. I'm afraid of saying his full name because you could find. No, don't say his full name to say like what he taught and what his Bible. I had an English teacher. This is going to send you guys to the moon in a not space X rocket ship in a normal rocket. Yeah. One that uses American gas drill baby drill something Trump said today at the inauguration. About what? I don't. I'm a dragon. That's like a baby drill. Anyway, what were you saying? Okay. So this is this teacher English teacher. He had a gray and red long beard. Okay. Red gray hair combed over to the side much like our president combed over age demographic. 100 like legit 100 years old. Okay. Every day would wear like a snoopy tie. And would the character snoopy the character snoopy humor a funny little tie. And he me and my best friend in high school Emily would sit in the parking lot and watch him smoke his pipe in his car during lunch break and just be like. That is so fucking hot. It's giving. What's the guy's name? The giver. The give it's giving the giver. Oh my god. Giving the giver. And I was I was the Vincent van Gogh in my head. Not not dissimilar. Yeah. He actually quite looked like him. Who's the watchman guy Alan? Alan Moore. Alan Moore is giving it's giving Alan Moore with a snoopy tie. That's that's hot. And he would smoke a fucking pipe in his car. And me and Emily would just like watching this car. Are you still in touch with Emily? Oh, of course. Yeah. Emily, hello. Emily, is that you're a long island? Is that you all keep in touch with high school? Definitely. I touched my friend Allison last night. Is it a hey? I said hey, we had a mutual friend at the birthday party. We were at. Oh, cute. Oh, and said he like let's go to Roosevelt field. Oh, my God. I was at your mom. But it was it was too far. You won't win them all. No, I was sun rise mall like south for vibes. You are so I have to give respect to you because like honestly something crazier to even more iconic to say than your gay icon. You are actual long island legend. Like you are not from we're fucking around long. You are from like a long island long island. I'm for real. Yeah, he's really for real. You're new to this. He's true to this. I'm always new to this. Anytime I go to long island I go. Oh. It's no one knows what happened to us. Yeah. It's so crazy the things that we saw and the things that we did. Yeah. And the things that we, you know, aspired to be. The craziest thing from Jackie Blonsky. I mean, just what did you say? Nicky Blonsky. Nicky Blonsky. She's a lot of legends. Mom once came up to me. You're kidding. Wait, I actually have the chills. They're bad. Nicky Blonsky's mother came up to me at my school. I think she came to my school to perform. And I felt like they were scouting. And I was like for hairspray. Oh my god, that's perfect. No, I don't want to act like I'm a kid. What did she say? You're a bit of a penny. That's fucking little shop. What? What? What? Oh no, it's when we hear spray. The movie Nicky Blonsky was, what did she say? We know him like, do musical songs. We got a terrible Broadway show. Sarah! I didn't know I would die for Kinky Boots. We had a Kinky Boots sketch idea. What was our team, oh, yeah, yeah, sure. What was it? We wanted to see the sequel to the Shrek The Musical, especially the novel with Charles. What was the Kinky Boots bit? You come out with the Boots in your feet. You were clearly putting on the Kinky Boots. What is it? Matilda, you clearly put on the Kinky Boots. Writing that sketch was a highlight of my life. It's so rare to channel. Oh, we channeled. Did you? To let them use, visit you. We literally plopped it down in one run. And we were like, it's perfect. Have you ever seen Hamilton the musical? I know that. How could a bastard or... That's not. You would love it. Really? It's a great show. It's a great show. I just don't have a good abac. And also if nothing else, it's production values. Yes. I don't get me started on that. I'm feeling really emotional about production value lately. What's going on? What are you thinking about? It's just like, give it to me. And I'm not... You guys know who you are. Who aren't giving it to me. Just in general. Yeah. I want to see lights, cameras. Sound sets costume. Can we get really into this though? We watched the substance together. And I did think of you all... Thank you. Did you love that movie? I basically loved it more than words can even express. Yeah. And I finally watched that 30 minute feature at the time. It's so good. You have to check that out if you haven't. Fucking holding the camera, running backwards, posing him, running down the blood. I'm like, that's... If you want to know how it's done, that's how it's done. You need to work with her. I literally... I'm going to do it. I'm going to do it. I'm going to do it. I'm going to do it. I'm going to do it. I literally let this be a message. Do you want to talk about this? Corally, I love you. And what you've done and what you will continue to do and what has happened and what will soon to be happening all over until like the perpetuity until the end of time. Like... What am I saying? You were saying a lot and all of it is impacting. Exactly. You're a real... Corally, you did it! You did it! You did it! You did that! That! That! That! She did it! Wait, when it kept going... Oh. When it just kept going... Perfect. And then the teeth, and then the ears, and then the bloodhose, and the music, and the... Light's camera sound, costume, whatever. Yeah. As we were just saying... Yeah, it didn't for one second stop. It gave us everything relentlessly and more. It's a perfect film. It's a perfect film. It's hilarious down. Yeah, down. It's, as you say, a feast for the eyes. A feast for the eyes. It's everything. It was it. She's my favorite. She's everything. Yeah. There's been little meetings. Listen. You've met a couple times. We met one time. Oh really? And I was struck by her beauty. Yes, she is gorgeous. She's gorgeous. She's stunning. And she's hilarious. Yeah. When did you meet her? I... I've been stalking her for real. Because I just like... I'm like, you're amazing. Were you a fan prior to seeing this up since like, did you see Revenge? Yeah. And I love every... You know when you like... See someone's movie and you're like, I hope... See, words escape me. That's how much I care. Yeah, oh, that's... And like, you could just see like, it's like... She's such a like fan of horror movies too. Yeah. And so it's like, as a fan of the thing, as a fan of like, basket case or whatever. Yeah. You watch that movie and you're like, yay! I think he just feels like a Christmas tree. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. That's amazing. I'm like, I... Yeah. He's just... Listen, I'm... You're at a loss for words. I'm not a loss for words. Were you into me and Margaret Fan prior to this? Or did this expose you to their gifts? Both of them fans. Yeah. Both of them fans, but like... Now I am on my knees forever in their debt, basically. I've never seen their names called tomorrow. Yeah. I hope so too. Who's calling? Do you know who's calling? I'm calling. Bowen and Rachel Senet are announcing our spring nominations. Our spring nominations. Can you fucking believe that? Big day for Union Hall. That is what you're saying for Union Hall! You're in the whole springy one. Oh my gosh. Is that what I call? It's so wild sauce. Wait, it's... You're going tomorrow? No, no, no. This comes out Wednesday and then I'm gonna... I'm literally leaving Read Through and catching a plane to LA and then Thursday morning, 5.30 a.m. PT. We're announcing and then I get a flyback for Bucket. I think I wouldn't miss it. I think it's such an honor to be honest. No, I'm just so honored. It's like literally the coolest thing. I love that. I aspire to be announced in nominations one day. He's smallens things. He's always been smallens. You're smallens because you know like... Jesse's smallens. First of all, we're not talking about him harmful individuals today. Who gave us a laugh? If we're talking about the laughing. Oh, he gave us a laugh. There's a couple laugh. It's like he... I'm gonna be announcing the Oscar. Like that's how he says that this is how he delivers it. That's not how I deliver it. But I know you have to smile on it because you're just trying to keep your head on your shoulders and you're like clocking in and clocking. Like it's like if things were too big, like you would almost be scared to do it. Totally. But it's like that is... That is major. You're right. He does. He's smallens things, but he's excited. I'm excited. We all love a good meal. But there's no feeling quite like cooking one. Whether it's everyone at yours for a Sunday roast, or after school, sausage and mash, quick, simple, gone in minutes. One thing brings it all together. Ah, bestow. The original gravy. Rich, smooth, and unmistakable since 1908. When the gravy makes the dish, make the gravy. Ah, bestow. Is that leaf bothering you on your head? Oh, ma'am. Because did you notice that my girl has a leaf on her head? No, it's not on. Well, it's very close to here. Fiesle head, leaf head, what's going to be your head? What's going to be yours? Gorgeous head. Gorgeous head. Stunning head. Tau head. I'm changing that. What? Say this. Say this. But this is my theory. The word that is so powerful. So powerful. That. The way it hits the ears is just different. It's really. I was watching a body language expert talk about Blake Lively. Just let that stick in. I was watching a body language expert talk about Blake Lively and Justin Baldoni. And there was a moment where an interview says to Blake Lively, like, well, you actually had to be the intimacy coordinator on set. Like, you had to show him how to grab you and kiss you. And she goes, where did you see this? And the body language experts said that use of the word this is usually to like show that you would disdain whatever it is they've brought up. Like, oh, what's all this? What's what do you mean by this? What's all this then? Like this. What's all this then? The word this is merely used for stay. Positively or inclusively. I'm pictured when you say this, something that's just coming to mind is like peeling dirty underwear off the floor. Oh, what is this? What is this? Yeah, a wife coming home. Peels a woman's underwear from the bottom of the, the, the body language. I love the basket and going, what is this to my husband? I've been working all day and who's this? You would just say, what is that? You just ate that line. Do what is this again? No, again, do the directors out there. I'm free. Think about this. Who did this? Okay, now say that. Sorry. Who did this? Nantiddi other one. Who did that? See, I'm not threatened by that. Who did this? What's up with that? What's up with this? Although, we were talking about this scene for Mad Men, Joan, confronting the, the man. I wouldn't care if you died. That pornographic drawing. The pornographic drawing. I, I actually, I've been watching so much Mad Men clips. The number one best scene in television history. I, I'm kidding you not. Joan and, Joan and Don. Joan and Don. It's the episode where Joan gets served with divorce papers in the office. That like front desk secretary gives, like, allows the last season. It's the fifth season, which by the way has no skips. So, so it's the rumors of Mad Men. So Don and Joan go to like, they go to the Jaguar dealership and then like, they pretend to be a couple and then they go to the bar and they get a little drunk and they turn on the jukebox music and they have the scene at the bar that talks about like the kind of people they are and the kind of people that are in the bar. It's beautiful. It's about them, but it's not. The writing and the acting is so. They're probably believe a good Christina Hendrix. No Emmy crazy. Crazy. Well, by the way, like can I don't want to say anything disrespectful, but it's like, let's get her out there. I would agree. I would definitely agree. Do you think I'm going to say something on behalf of all women? Yeah. Is she so? Is she so stunningly Jessica Rabbit that. People are afraid. And this is just about misogyny and a larger scale. Are people afraid to give her like challenging roles because they're like, she's so bodacious. We couldn't even. I don't think it's distracting. I think it's I think she with Joan, I guess like it is so one with like the character. I guess that sounds. I think it has a lot less to do with that and more to do with the fact that it's almost a reason why January Jones and Jessica, Paré also don't work a ton. It's because I feel like they're very identifiable with those roles and they were so well done that maybe it counts against them sometime. Fuck. I think because I think all of those performances are unreal. I think Jessica Paré actually gets disrespect. I think Megan was incredible. Zuby Zoo is an iconic moment. Zuby Zoo is the is the first episode of season five and it gets better from there. Zuby Zoo is the crazy. It's the crazy. It's the crazy. It's the crazy. It is so insane. And then you see twin piece and you go, that's okay, some crazy things are happening here that are basically like defying all like logic between like the living and the dreaming and the dead. Right. And then you're like, and still. That's Zuby Zoo is supposed to happen in a grounded world and it still reads us being like realistic and you believe that she would do that. And it says pretty much everything you need to know about her character. But Zuby Zoo happened on AMC. Twin Peaks happened on ABC. Truly. Which is that's the craziest part. Take that risk now. Challenge. You guys are actually going to lose your gourd basically. No, you're going to the top of your hat is going to fly off. Queen off. Queen off. I just have no stamina when it comes to watching shit. So like, I'm still on the pie. I've been on the pilot episode of Twin Peaks for like eight years. It's so bad. That is so bad. But I started from getting like recently, even before he passed away, just like when the mom like realizes that like she's gone, she's dead. It's like the most devastating thing and the Laura Palmer's theme. Like the muse, that score is crazy. I think once you enter episode two, then it's full lubrication and it's a nonstop relic. Like I don't think you're going to find any resistance there. I think it's just like slipping in that second episode. Allow it to just, it's just if the way it feels all of your body when you're watching it, it's astounding. And I will say and not to belabor this point. Belabor. No, that was right. That was right. No, I'm just going to be meeting your PhD to know what you clearly were paying attention in English class because you were so horned up with trying to get your rocks off of this. Vincent Van Snoop. Vincent Van Snoop. Did you saw who I was talking about? You go, oh, okay. In a good way. No, no. Or a fired way. Anytime Sarah's like, oh, what I would do. I'm like the craziest looking human being. You're like the script. He percripped. Yeah. Taylor Hicks. Taylor Hicks. No disrespect. Billy Bob Thorne. Now. You going. And this now. Because I think my beautiful long-suffering boyfriend is so conventionally cute, beautiful, that it's like, I think it's like it's a loud. Yes, it's a counterweight. Counterweight. I love that. So you're so bored with traditional beauty because you get that every day. In fact, you have sex with him. In fact, if he's lucky. You, you, you, you the kind of girl holds out. This becomes like a whole other like all right podcast. You the kind of girl that leaves it on the shelf, you know what I mean? Yeah. I made that expression up. You leave it on the shelf at night. On the shelf at night. You let it stink up the place. You don't. You're up to crack the window after because it stinks so bad. Because it's been on the shelf. The X-Berry date is well, if you live on the shelf too long, you know, it starts to stink. They say that about women. They don't have sex. They start, that's where their pussy starts to really smell bad. Well, it's the last time you smelled one. Me? Face to face. I've never seen a vagina up close. It's one of the, and they cover this in many movies. It's one of the most crazy things you can see. Well, how would we know? How would we? Sue Beesu. Sue Beesu. Wait. I didn't bring mine today. It's in the car. What's your least favorite body part to depict in your, in your art? Oh, interesting. This is going to be a surprise. Please. I don't like, as someone who loves blood, guts, shit, piss. Buggers, I'm like, what do we do? I was going to get snow stuff. You don't like nose? I love nose. But you don't like booger. I think it's like, we're older than that. Yeah. I mean, that's so, I love this. That there is one thing that you go, that's off. Like, I'm leaving that. It's a pastay. Yeah. Or just, there's an edit there. There's an edit. That's so chic. And I love, I love muquade membranes. So I love like a slick mucus. Like, you don't, you don't have a clump. You don't have a clump of booger. What again, it's like, we're caught. Guys, really? Yeah. Really? When you see someone pick your nose, are you horrified? Pick their nose, rather. No, I do this. That's a practice. I've started my practice. I do it too. I think it's a medical procedure. It's like, do you have to clear that out? You're going to die. Sometimes it's like, it's not as easy as blowing your nose. No, no. Sometimes you have to get, sometimes you have to get knuckle deep and that's okay. And I get it. This was really hugely. Well, this was really hugely. Thank you. Thank you for coming. You should have me go, oh, I was going to say that they should make a nasal bidet, but that is what an adipot is. That's what an adipot is. That's what a Neal Med is. Of course. New York. And, oh, this was going to be, why my last, like, on my hands and knees begging for you guys to watch Twin Peaks. In it, in it's three season arc, it posits a theory of everything spiritually, like religiously metaphysically, that I legitimately agree with in life. Everything is love or love is the most important thing. What is it? Or you don't know, you don't want to spoil it. I think you should. Because I don't think this is spoiling necessarily necessarily. I don't think this is necessarily at least spoiling anything. This is serious. But it's necessarily a cycle. This is serious. My favorite dinosaur. That's why they call me. Necessary. She was beautiful. She was beautiful. You guys, you guys, readers, please draw a Necessary and send us in your pictures. Tag us all three of us and the Atlas code, Jesus, with your photos that you've drawn of Necessary. But you have to then write it like Necessary, S-A-I-H. Necessary, necoliously. Necessary necoliously. Necessary necoliously. Monstrous, serenity. Monstrous, serenity. Necessary, serenity. Keep going. What's the theory of everything? Oh, so yes, that love is actually the greatest unifying force in the universe. But Twin Peaks is the... I'm going to be so serious right now that it's going to make you laugh. Okay. That it's like the story of who killed Laura Palmer, right? Right. And I'm not going to spoil the great reveal of who killed Laura Palmer for you, because that'll keep you on the hook for at least a season and a half. Yeah. But there's so much pain and violence in trauma towards this young high school girl and towards all the women in this universe or whatever. And there's like great pain and trauma. And while love prevails, basically in the great episode eight, season three of Twin Peaks, which is like the return which happened. What was that? Like 2016? Yeah, 2016. Really a little less cultureista. You just know when... I don't know. You do. I just hold it out of my hand. Don't smile on it. Don't smile on it. You are an honest serious thing. But basically he posits that true evil was unleashed into every dimension and realm of the universe when the first atomic bomb exploded. So that a new kind of man made evil basically fractured all of the fabric of time space and at least a new form of evil in the form of Bob, who is this demon that, you know, create whatever. In Twin Peaks, it unleashed a new form of evil that like wreaked a new form of havoc on every universe. Every universe of every timeline below all of us. Yeah, so that is the central conflict of Twin Peaks, which is said by General Briggs when he says, you know, there's this Bobby Briggs, Hottest Man Alive. His dad is like a crazy like military like general who's like does shit with space or whatever. Uh oh. I'm not sounding smart. No. He's a drink die co. He's basically like... If that was the answer. Die co. We be geniuses. Hey, President Trump, when it be trying to buy Austria or whenever people... You don't need the die co. He's sounding like a genius. But then like basically he's worried he's this like general who's who like is like, you know, in charge of investigating like the link between like American like military hegemony and like nuclear mysticism, whatever, whatever. And he's like, my fear is that love is not enough. So that basically when man kind emphasis on man basically unleashed a new kind of evil into the world when we created the nuclear bomb. He's worried that love is not enough. And then that's kind of what like the return follows is like all these characters that you remember 20 years ago feeling this trauma in every dimension and every like time space continuum, whatever. And you know, and this is why you know... It's by Oppenheimer, one the Oscar. And this is ultimately why. But this is what's crazy about Oppenheimer, one of the last. Get in, agree. Yep. Come on. Barbie was a better movie. Use this rage in a positive way. We all need to do that especially now. It's more than ever. That's organized starting now. Use this female rage about Oppenheimer. See? That was crazy. Use your female rage against Oppenheimer to make a big point. Episode 8 should have won the Oscar. I'll say that. Yeah. You know, it couldn't have been nominated for Oscar. Maybe if you were announcing the Oscars, you could have just looked at it. You could have just said season three, episode eight. Yes, that is what I believe about the universe. I mean, like about religion and everything. Wow. It's something that David Lynch put in a fucking TV show that anyone could watch. That's amazing. And that's what culture is for me and for you and for you and for everybody. It's culture that's for everybody. Yeah. It's not culture that you find in a little box. Like bucket of blood records in Chicago, a little cool weirdo store. With a bunch of, you know, like... Freaks, spout, weirdos, weirdos. The outcasts, the misfits. Those who haven't belonged once in their life that can find community in a place like that. In a place like this, quite frankly. This. And I don't say this in a purdraud of sense. I say it in an inclusive way. Really not giving much credence to my point earlier, which shows that people can change. You're saying people can change? I've changed, obviously, in the last 20 minutes. Here I am using this in a beautiful, inclusive way when before I said it was usually in this, this, this way. It's just really interesting. I've tried it you with bringing up, not bringing up, with bringing yourself to the conversations today. Period. No, I was going to keep going. The weirdos. It is a culture. It's not just for the weirdos. I don't want. For what? The weirdos have had too good for too long. And this is what brings back to traders. When you're out. When you're out. Lots and weirdos running around. What are you? Yes. A lot of weirdos. Yes, man. Yeah. When you ask me, are people inherently good or evil? It can be answered in episode 8. That's incredible callback. And the answer would get there saying is no, people are born good. People were born good until the new period of all the great disruption. The great disruption. And there were so many fractures and fishers in time space that it can be. That like this demonic force can really crawl in. Kind of whether or not you invite it. Because we've created a fissure. Fissure. Fissure. We're not happy that you use that word. No. Because of sitting on the table. The toilet. The toilet. The toilet. The toilet. The toilet. The toilet. The toilet. The toilet. The toilet. The toilet. The toilet. The toilet. The toilet. The toilet. I'm not kidding. This is going to be a little gross. This is me on the toilet with the hammer. Oh. My. It might be a little gross. Hey. Are you packing off? No. It's hurt so much that I have to. I'm thumper. I'm thumper. People are just supposed to get up. You're not supposed to be sitting there in the office. No. No. I'm sitting there and I'm like. Could you have to keep moving? Then it won't like. Then yeah. Then it's like it's a way to like get it out. But it's just. My foot has to move. I get restless legs. There's literally nothing worse than like a localized injury. Oh. It's not good concentrated pain. Wait. Was that going to be your answer to what was the culture that made you say cultures for me? Yes. And then you all still said over text that you had opinions about housewives. Well. Can I end the interview? Yes. Can I show you what I have? Saw. Can I even guess what it is? Yes. It's Heather Gays Mormon Book shirt. Here we go. Ooh, it's growing. Oh, that's it. What the over me too? Wow, Lisa. I feel for me too. Come on, the pod, Lisa. Lisa Barlow. They really are all invited. They're all invited, really. After all the work, the public service they did, including Brittany Bateman. Oh, my. Give it a per break. Honestly, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Honestly, watch when Brittany comes on the podcast and is like, Loki Funnier and smarter than us. No way. Who the think about culture is actually started. She tells us, she comes in like a true cultural anthropologist, like a full 10 MBAs. Talking about like culture and like caveman. Yeah. She's like, well, actually fire began when a caveman actually, really it was collaborative. And it was really the first collaboration. Wait, what am I? She, Abraham Lincoln had Greek Versace plates. Are you Angie? That was anthropology. That was anthropology. That was anthropology. Angie Katzenavis, the queen of America. Did you listen to her episode of Lost Colch? She was on Lost Colch. She was the last guest before you. You're so fucking stupid. You know what's so interesting? Well, I told you this. And I actually don't want to say this on the podcast. What? Edit. I'm only listening to music from now on. Leave that end. Leave that end. I think we would all benefit from that. I just am like worried about replacing my inner chatter with outer chatter. Yeah. And so I have been replacing all talking in the ears with singing. Actual structure. I don't know if it's gonna happen. You don't listen to the episode. Make sure you say anything about it. I listen to the best after for edits. Oh. To make sure that nothing slips through their cracks. Right. And so this one's always spouting off some problematic stuff. And we're third word. It's a big slur. You look sir. I said listen to unedited Lost Colch. You'll be taking a vacation to big slur. You'll have a pussy on the shop for two more. It'll start to leak. Pussy is not a slur that doesn't count. Pussy, pussy, pussy. Come for me. My brother when I was growing up said to me. He said that he thought pussy was a vegetable because my dad said it so much. Why would he think he was a vegetable? Because my dad would be like get back on the field you fucking pussy. So you thought it was a vegetable? Like because it was in the fields where vegetables grow. Right? Wow. Oh my. This might be a long island, wife's island. Yeah, totally. Oh, you'll never believe this story. So my sister comes home one day when she's five. When she's had to write a book about her family. So it's like this is my mom. I love my mom a lot. This is what my mom says to me. I love you. This is my dad. I love my dad a lot. This is what my dad says to me. It's a picture of him on the couch and it says peanut. Go grab me a beer from the fridge. Girl. Girl. Go grab me a beer from the fridge. Talk about it. I wrote it. Five year olds. And brought it back to our family. It was like this is what my mom says. This is what my dad says. Because my dad would send us into the. The family of the year from the fridge. This is the garage fridge. Bring it in. Classes. You know how I just said that there's only been one artist who has presented my theory of everything. I was wrong. It's your sister. Yeah. No. There was something in there that spoke to the universe for sure. My mom says I love you. My dad says, hey, peanut. Go grab me a beer from the fridge. I can't believe I've never heard this before. That's incredible. It's unbelievable. It's so good. Peanut, my dad, you say? Yeah. Were you peanut? I was peanut. I also yo sports fan. Oh, wow. Is that something yo sports fan? Get me in whatever. I sports fan is a lot of fun. It's a fun. I was bug. Because I would crawl around all the time and never sit still. Still to this day. You know how hard it is for me to sit right here? Unbearable. I want to be crawling all over this place. You're about to be like bowing on the toilet. Like, yeee. I want to crawl over this place spread my sea. Look at it come quite frankly. Oh, I want to do it now. Oh, what color would it be when it came out? You don't want to know. Fine. I'll tell you. Wait. I'm a normal guy. Why did I snow my come? You guys should do a man-a-sphere episode. All right. So we're actually going to come. And then we're going to see what colors it is. All right. And then we're going to figure out the hex code for the come color. So who thinks this one is a bowens come? Ding ding ding ding. We immediately get a huge deal with Barsville sports. We leave I heart. We leave I heart. We go to bars stool. For some reason on bars stool. Now they're talking about Japanese pizzas. I'm like, I got to thing on my feet. It's like, what is a Japanese pizza? Like the pizza in Japan is like, are you serious? Are you serious? Shit. And talk about that. Oh, it's an amazing pizza. That's all I can say. That's all you can say. What talk about it? What is it? What is it? It's making it so good. So the sauce the top in would it be as amazing as Mary Cosby's alucato pizza looked thoughts on Mary Cosby this year. What can her behavior in the finale? What can you say about a philosopher king? That a lot. That's actually a great point. You can say a lot about it, but lots of yeah, I agree with that. Like it's Chris. I get why people joined the cult. She speaks so much. I just felt like she was speaking with such clarity this season that I thought that she was channeling spirit for real. But when you upset at the end when she was really trying it with Andy, I was wrong about you. That was so insane. It was absurd. But then she was like, and she was like, hey, and she was like, you're right. I have abandonment issues and was great. But so she needed Angie to get there. Right. Get to close to Angie is the real star here, I think. Angie is the star of the show. I would agree. She's top five housewife for me. Truly for me. Now you have to say your top five. Carlton. She's crazy. You're one of the sickest. You need to be in an asylum. The witch. Ra Mona. Okay. Singer. Ra. Carlton. Ra. Carlton. Mona. Singer. Angie. Angie. Okay. Who is rounding him out this five? Karen. Yeah. Oh yeah. That can't be my five. Karen. You need one more. Oh, fuck. Hold on. You don't even have to follow. You don't even have it on my phone. I feel like I wrote this down on my phone. It's like there's a folder with drag names. There's a folder with my favorite housewife. My favorite karaoke song. Okay. This is a nice spread. You have Roni, Beverly Hills, Potomac, Salt Lake. You're missing what? I want to, you know what? I want to speak. I want to. You need to be on it. Yeah. You know what? I actually Marisol's mom. Oh yeah. Elsa. Yeah, Elsa. Wait, so what do I, Carlton? Ramon. Actually Mary Cosby. You're Cosby. Angie. Wow. No Karen. Elsa. Elsa. Not not Karen. I think that's a parent. Even this week, you're going to not Karen out? Yeah, put it in the server back there. Because does it count? Does the body can footage count as an episode of Housewives? I think so. I think it's canon. Because that is just like, it's so sad. The way when she's sitting in the jail cell who's getting interrogated and she just has, she's babbling and then she goes, Thomas Jefferson's concubine. And she's like, you don't get that kind of genius anywhere else in this world. No, she is one of the funniest people to ever love. Yeah, talk about channeling the muse in the room. Like being in the room where that happens. Like that isn't it. Top five. You're standing on top five. Oh, god. Are we out doing this? Sure. Well, can we just point out? You're saying you're going to be able to carry it. Body can footage and Britney beat me. Oh, my top five is Britney beat, man. No, she's killing. I would respect that immensely. I do think she's had a wild. Incredible season. Yeah, it is funny. The Jared stuff. You come here. I've never recorded in my life. I was trying to send a video to my daughter. She got a good grade on her mouth test. She just sort of speaking to me again. You guys, you guys have an announcement. My daughter's speaking to me. What? This is the part where I'm standing right now. What? Would you stick your pink ponyclubs throughout the airport? It's amazing. It's brilliant. It's really important to all housewives, past-puse, future-puse. Past-puse are in present. Take notes. This is what happens when you're off your phone. So we're actually referring to someone who literally just made a take time. But when you're off your phone and just being you. And you're not worried about how people perceive you. No podcast, no outer chatter in your outer chat. When you're off your phone and just being you, it's incredible what you can do on your phone. That's essentially what you just said. When you really clear that when you just let the music speak and you just put away your phone, pick up your phone. See what happens. Amazing shit. The content. Especially now in the new era of TikTok. It's back, baby. And outcasts and vagabonds and regulators. I'm not sure how to regulate it. I'm not sure how to regulate it. It's like that is like there's so many people who are trying to manufacture housewives. Yes. And they're trying to like. I don't think that's the only one. I don't think that is as guilty of that as other. I mean, let's call us, beta spade. Yes. My critique for the finale of Salt Lake. I did not need them to do that stupid thing. That game was made about. That game was so. So Heather is will put Heather. I don't think she even believed in it. I think they told her like to do this and then she was like, yeah, fine. And then it just not one element of the show felt like they were pushing that hard for drama until that moment. Right. And I was just like, I just don't believe that it tripped at the finish line a little bit. I think it's like, we're at a point with housewives where push has come to shove. And it's like in order for anything to be, I think New York is evidence of this. Yeah. It's just like, it just has to be crazy. And that's why I do respect Heather doing that because she's like, well, it's the finale episode. We're all sitting at the table and it has to be insane. It's the most. What was my favorite was her cadence. We're going to take out our phones. We're going to find the worst thing we've ever said about someone here. And then we're going to hand over our phone and we're going to read it. Diabolical. And we're going to move forward. Do you think she's scripted? She's scripted that. No, I don't. You don't think she had a note app on her phone that was like, guys, what I find suspicious was that they all, like, remember when Lisa like zoomed the fucking. Yeah. And like was like swiping, swiping, swiping. And so it was like they screen shot. They had texts that they're ready. I think that was prepared. There was something produced. It was very produced. It was very, it was the only moment of the season that I felt was like inorganic. Yeah. And I didn't like it. I did like it because I just felt like Heather was like, I have, I fucking left not a single chrome last. No. No. No. She actually deserves an Emmy. She does. She does. She wrote that. And it's like, she was like the way I fucking tore that last year, like the only way I can want up myself is if I do the craziest and the crazy, which is she did the craziest thing. There was a moment there where the language was even kind of like mirroring last season where she goes, we're all obsessed with receipts. We're all obsessed with her. Yeah. Like she caught herself mid-lest being like, oh, I got to change up the words a little bit. But it was receipts proof timeline. I actually was like earlier in the year, like in our group chat, people were like, oh, there's not having a great season. She's not like in it. I'm like, actually, I totally disagree because I think Heather gay is the audience. Yep. And she's the best narrator on the show. And she's the lead of the show. She's the protagonist. So it's fine by me that she's not like totally like racked with whatever is going on. I feel like she's had a lot of that. And I kind of enjoy watching her watch what's happening. Right. That's how I feel about it. Miss Gay. I was talking about you. I wasn't talking about her. I was talking about Miss Gay. As everyone knows, my straight power fist. Wow. Even this week. Even this week. Limp brist did somehow. Even this week. Well, the YMCA, him dancing to the YMCA is like his Brittany Bateman level. It's like, we are. We are. Give him a standing o. To the village people. You saw that. You saw this. You saw that. You tore this. You tore this. And you know this. That's it. To be true. But like it, Brittany, Brittany Bateman, they're, they're a perfect cast because they're every archetype of housewife. Yes. And they're themselves. But Heather Gay is not. And that is what Mary was saying to Mary, when Mary was like Heather, you've changed and you're not, you know, you're not yourself. She's like, you are becoming too aware and too into the fandom and like your re-honest favorite and you're performing and you're producing. But Heather, like kind of needs to do that a little bit. Yeah, I think it's unfair. I think, I think you need, you do need Heather to do what Heather has done. Right. Because you have Brittany Bateman. Yeah. Like if everyone was Brittany Bateman, they'll be unwarked. Well, the rest of them are not capable of doing that. Like Lisa Barlow is not capable. And I am wearing her on my shirt. Yes. I have a deep respect over my heart. She's not capable of being like, hey guys, to the producers. So you guys need, let me execute that for you. Wow. One person can do that in the cast besides Heather, which is Angie. Oh, you think I think Angie is a, I think Angie too is a chaos agent. And she's living, she's truthfully living her life as the wife of a beautiful gang. And she's more grounded. But Angie can like zoom out and like the way she handled the Mary thing. I'm like, she can, she can do this. She's so aware and the best and the exact right way. Yes, she has an understanding of that of the situations in a way where she's like, you know when it's time to put your foot on the gas and like whenever it's Meredith spinning in a circle at her own bot mitzvah being like, like, Angie knows like, I'm upset, but this is good. Yeah. Meanwhile, it's like Mary melting down. Like there's a bone in every house, I've body that if they were to scratch that bone, it would just be like, let me continue fighting this woman. But Angie knew it is not, I'm not arguing with Mary Cosby about this. Right. Saying high body count hair, it's like, I actually take back what I said about Miss Gay, needing an Emmy for her writing. It is Angie because we're getting lines like high body count hair and we're getting lines like one foot in the grave and another. And then she even wrote something for this show where her I don't think so. And he was, I don't think so. I have a kind of hair and then she goes, um, if you come to lunatic fringe salon, by the way, the name. I went, oh, no, when we got first of all, when we saw that I didn't know it was called lunatic fringe, trying to hair. I saw, I saw so wrong. Well, then I love, I didn't know that it was actually a phrase like it's a reference, lunatic fringe that references actually like, like groups of people. It's not just two words that sound great together. It's like, oh, she's like a full, like Sarah and Marley Genius. I worship this. The text. Yeah, we do. And she was great on the show. You should listen to that. She looks perfect. This is the right, the joke level writing. Yeah, this is good. She goes, you come to lunatic fringe, you have a get laid guarantee. If you don't have sex, come back. I'll fuck you myself. Girl. Yeah. Then they said, Rome was not built in a day. No. Well, could you possibly mean by that? And you're talking about a Greek woman, so watch it. So stop with this Rome imagery. We're talking about a Greek legend. It built a hair empire. Yeah. Because she was laying brick by brick. And the cultural wasteland of something. Yeah. Yeah. It is. By the way, it's like the pillar. I'm a pillar of the community. I'm like, hi. Do I have an Angie? Lauren. Go, go, go. Do, do. Meredith? Well, Meredith, I thought it was really interesting how you let's have me. And you're very rude to me. There's not much I'm specific. I have to work on it. It's there. It's telling, journey. I'm in a real place of healing. I fucking love her. I fucking love her. I want she needs to have a better season next year. And I actually believe the producer's cut out a lot of her shit. Oh, interesting. Yeah, interesting. Because we love Whitney. I fucking love her. I think she's the most stunning woman I've ever. Period. One of the only housewives I've done a shot with. Oh. Oh. And how did that present itself? Well, we were both at high tops. West Hollywood. Good for her. Likely placed for us. She is a gay guy. She's a gay guy. She is. She's not as much of a gay guy as an entertainer. Oh, well, but when when when when student I were at shock, she was in the audience and then suit you say, I was like, I'm too shy. Bowen, this is Bowen is so you guys work with the biggest a listers weekend. These are our Maritath. Maritath. He's the fire Island premier years ago with Seth and Brooks. I went over to her. That was the first time we had ever met. I said, Bowen, come over here. He said, no, I'm not doing that. No, it's I was scared. I was scared. I get. I got to see people with all my heart and her scratch. Koria really concerned me. Maritath doesn't stop creating content. I'm saying this is someone who will be buying her. What is it? Pink microphone. If you don't think I have the entire Maritath Marks collection and have been to the store in park city, you're incorrect. What is it? You'd be deeply mistaken. Okay. Do you remember at the end when I was like during the finale when they put the title cards up like what they're doing now and they came by so fast. Yeah. I couldn't wait. Listen, we're all professional readers. Could not read that. Yeah, I love reading. Louis in language. I love reading. Yeah. Love. So good at it. This is my first language. You know what you're getting with a conference. Laptop backpacks. Security pass land yard. If you could just pop this on. Being asked, how was your journey in? How was your journey in? An array of triangular sandwiches. Having to deal with a small crisis back at the office. Sometimes in life you just know what you're getting, like a great night's sleep and a tasty breakfast. You know what you're getting with Premier in. Top five housewives. What are you doing? Stacy Rush. You are crazy. I watch your QVC videos. He does. It's ASMR. There's so few things. He's a Jesus bracelet. And it's like proud Christian woman. I love having God right here on my wrist. It's a proud Christian woman. She is actually a revolutionary housewife because she is showing you that you can be a positive loving person and still succeed. And you could have the most beautiful boobs on TV. And you're the most gorgeously stacked person to ever be on television. Her body is insane body. Her body is D. Her body is Celsius. Her body is D. Look at that. I mean, Becca, that's the most gorgeous woman alive. Yeah. And to think she's dating a man who will not have sex. That's crazy. No, that's part of her. Her face is. What is going on there with missing? Let me think about it. Let me think about it for even more than one or two seconds. Miss Gay. I think I think. But we love Stacy. Stacy brushes on my top. I wasn't. I'm never going to shame an actor in one's camera time. Sure. And you're and you are never going to do that. Never. You respect the fuck out of those guys. I respect the fuck out of those guys. Any actor out here who's grinding doing their best putting one foot in front of the other in this grind we call Hollywood. I respect the fuck out of those guys. Excuse my language, but it's true. And it's really difficult. I say it for the heart of hearing Meredith Marx's people in the back. Well, I thought you just said Meredith Marxist and I thought that's a good drag. That's a great drag name. Meredith Marxist. Oh my god. I've been list. I've been list. Meredith Marxist. Wait, can I just say when I was in call it when I was in Denver for the holidays, it was this huge event. All of our grinder people were like, we're going to Meredith Marx. Meredith Marx is going to show up at tracks this nightclub by the train tracks. It was like the entire town was getting ready for like a presidential visit. That's an A-list tracks appearance. No, of course. And I was like, I'm not, I'm going to sit this one out. Because of fear. Because of fear. No, but we love Meredith. Meredith came, obviously Meredith famously as the readers know came to the cultural world and delivered a great performance and accepted an award in person on behalf of all the ladies and then came out to the after party afterwards and was hanging out. She is a good hang. This is what I was saying about the title card when it's at the end of the title card. It said that she's coming out with listening, pink listening devices. Yeah. Well, she's at a handicap. Like her phone. She's a handicap woman. But the bridge she thought bringing fun of the definitely able. My understanding. He makes fun of disability is now. My family and my. My family and my. I'm really underappreciated in line during the whole like recording freak out in the Spiriner Vian. What is it? I invited you into my home. No, that. She's been saying lies and spreading lies. British she goes for saying lies and spreading lies like saying and spreading being two different things for saying lies and spreading lies. She rules. She rock. You rock. So we're opposed to Mark's. Meredith's Dacey. I just. Luan and then I'm going to say I fucking. Luan. Like if you're not taking candy candy candy candy candy candy candy candy candy candy candy candy candy candy candy candy candy candy candy candy candy candy candy candy candy candy candy candy candy candy candy candy candy candy candy candy candy candy candy candy candy candy candy candy candy candy candy candy candy candy candy candy candy candy candy candy candy candy candy candy candy candy candy candy candy candy candy candy candy candy candy candy candy candy candy candy candy candy candy candy candy candy candy candy candy candy candy candy candy candy candy candy candy candy candy candy candy candy candy candy candy candy candy candy candy candy candy candy candy candy candy candy candy candy candy candy candy candy candy candy candy candy candy candy candy candy candy candy candy candy candy candy candy candy candy candy candy candy candy candy candy candy candy candy candy candy candy candy candy candy candy candy candy candy candy candy candy candy candy candy candy candy candy candy candy candy candy candy candy candy candy candy candy candy candy candy candy candy candy candy candy candy candy candy candy candy candy candy candy candy candy candy candy candy candy candy candy candy candy candy candy candy candy candy candy candy candy candy candy candy candy candy candy candy candy And I'm gonna say, hmm, what do I laugh at? Sonia, like how was Sonia not my normal life? Honestly, Sonia to me is diminishing return. Kenya? Kenya is tough for me because as incredibly fabulous as she is, I don't think I'm like chocolate and laughing along. Honestly, in good times, Porsche. I was gonna say Porsche. You like Porsche. Porsche's unbelievable. And also, you know who I think is actually a top five housewife, and I take the good end of the bad. Neenie. Erica Jane. Oh, sure. Totally. Erica Jane is unforgettable character on television. Yeah. Yeah. And it's like if we're like paying homage to what the show am I's for the Zuby Susan the room? It's like that is what the show is. It's a soap opera. And she is a soap opera character. I mean, literally named after Erica Cain. Oh, wow. My soul left my body. Yeah. You met her? No. Wait, I don't know who Erica Cain is. I did it at a hospital. Right. Erica Cain is the Susan Lucey's character on all my children. And all my children. I believe the most famous soap opera character. And it was, but Sarah was on general hospital. Yes. Yes. That is the most iconic thing anyone's ever done. Well, and talk about you. You're on general hospital? I bet. I bet. I literally, I said, hey, I, please. And they were like, are you like kidding? Because you're a comedian, are you kidding? And I was like, I'm one million percent. You went to do on general hospital. They were like, so they, she's a speech therapist. I'm just fucking kidding me. She's amazing. I come in for one episode, can't do a serious face going on. Because you know, it is true what they say. And so like, the soap opera is, you know, at the end of a scene, it holds on everyone's facial reaction. Yeah, like this. And I really do want to do it. You should get it there. You would be amazing. All I want to do is act. And guess what they do? 100 pages of dialogue, a fucking day. I know, I know. Do your respect speech. Put respect on that. With the soap opera actors. What were you saying with respect? Respect speech. You just did earlier. I respect the hell out of the house. I respect the hell out of those act truss. You know, it's, it's, think about how many greats we've got from soaps. Truly and more. Oh. Lisa Rena. Tully Rippa. I did when I hosted my game show, my hamster game show. My let that sink in. You don't even know the half of it. With the hamster game show. Let's keep who was competing the hamsters. Yes, they were. Just, yes, they were. But the humans too. All right. And they're in there. They're in lies. The, the robes. They're in lies. I was my co-host Kyle. Shout out. Shout out. He did soap operas. And he was like, bitch, you have no idea the level of acting. He said that all of his co-stars could, when they were like, hey, you know, the director would be like, can we get one single tear roll, roll it down your cheek? They would go, which eye? Fuck. Which eye, bitch. Which eye, bitch. Yeah. You could do that though. You could, which eye, you could. I certainly kind of, which eye. So the end of every scene, like they literally do the whole, like, hold for reaction, hold for reaction. Like crunchy ass. Literally doing this in my reaction shots. They're fucking, I mean, I couldn't believe everyone is so fucking amazing acting in general hospital. It's like in. Okay. You know what? I'm throwing it out there. I want to be on general hospital. Easy. Easy. I'm starting. Like, can I, I would love to come in and do whatever you guys need. You're, they're not going to want to let you go. That's fine. I would, I'll do a recurring role. Period. I would love to. It is like one take. Alright, done. Everyone's off book day of day of they get the script and then they go, got it. Wow. And I, I know I legit never been more nervous in my life because you're actually with pros who are like, they do this every, and yeah. I'm sorry. I don't mean to make this about me. I want to put something out there. What? I want to do a pro wrestling thing. That will be really good. Yes. I went to, I went to New Japan, New Japan pro wrestling at the Tokyo dome. It was the most amazing thing I've ever seen in my life from children to elderly women screaming, screaming, hilarious, hilarious, aprobatic. I just, I just, it's all my favorite things. Costume, ash, John Cena for tips. John, John, Mandarin speaker, John Cena. What? What? What? Yeah. Have you seen him do the ads for Logan Ma? I guess not. The chili crisp, camnos. Oh, for the chili crisp. He, he, he, he's in his trailer. He's like, it's a shoe with a toy. Like, like, it's crazy. It's crazy. A good, okay. So for those reading the same watching, Matt wants me in general hospital badly done. Bowen's general hospital done. Substance. Like, hey, substance two, substance two. You find out Monstro is not dead. Monstro is for town. It works slurps up and it's you. I mean, and then you have to go into SNL and it's meta. Oh, my God. Oh. And then Monstro, Elias, he was to work at Starbucks and she's just got to be a girl getting her shit together with Hollywood and like roommate. But I want you to, could you possibly conjure up how you felt when you saw Monstro, Elisasoo and when the text came on the screen that said Monstro, Elisasoo, how did you? You're going to like think I'm, I'm joshing around or kiling around or whatever you're going to say. But like, so I want, I went to the movie with my friend Eris who like does like a me who is. Sorry, Eris how do you spell the name Eris for? Yeah. Oh wow. If his name was Eris, he's had a hard two years. No. Or I asked Eris, they, Eris, but like the final fantasy character. I mean, what you going? Yes. My friend Eris who does practical effects who did all the practical effects and. We went, we went together. And when that happened, legit stood up. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, the more you do it, the more you're like, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Cause I didn't think people in the theater we saw it with were like screaming laughing the whole time, but I don't think they, they didn't, they didn't feel like they had permission to stand in. Yes. Yeah. Yeah. It's here. Oh, it's a cheer. Yeah. Yeah. Monstro, Ilyssesu. I think most of cause I saw it from home. Monstro, Matt. Oh, I saw it at home and I kept, and I'm, mind you, I was young, but it was the perfect way to watch it because I kept turning it out. It's okay. I kept turning it out. Oh, wait. Hold on. I turned it out and I was like, oh, I flat-lined. I slowly sobbed. No. Wait, give me some of the other. And now this is a circuit. We did say we couldn't do holding space jokes anymore. For Sarah, we can. Right. This is the last time there's only for you. You're all raster. Oh, I'm sorry. So this is like, you know, I mean, it's different. Yeah. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on. I kept saying to Matt, I was like, this is fucking. Yeah. He did minutes in. He was like, this is the best movie. I was like, this rules. I love that. I love that. I loved it. I loved it. Oh, I loved it. He's the most beautiful woman who's ever graced the planet. 62. Yeah, you believe? That's crazy. Yeah. How old is anyone? Not a no. You'd have to ask them. And it's rude in some cultures. Yeah, in some cultures, that's rude. Do you want to hear a say? I'm bouncing around. I'm so crazy. But I was like, it just scared me to think that we wouldn't be bringing this up. My neighbor. Wait, this is so back. This is not what we're talking about. No, say it. I'm not. No, I'm not. No, say it. What? My neighbor is a brain scientist. Wow. I don't think that's what they're called. Neighbor hack. Neighbor. Good, Jits. Sometimes I am kind of like, should I knock on her door and ask her if it's normal, then I can feel the veins in my eyes. That is knock, knock, knock. Hey. Hey. How are you? Not me getting an or ring and refreshing that. That's cool. I have every five saying. I had a question about, I know you're off clock. I can feel the veins in my eyes. Is this normal? Which is not the brain. Yeah, no. No, I'm not saying the brain. Everything is. Everything is. Because actually is an all reality. That's a real coach in number 94. It's not the brain. But everything is. We've never had a rule that like, that like the gate itself. Yeah, yeah. What? I'm saying is that all reality is consciousness. So. Period. Yeah. Wait, can you walk through that? It's just like we could all be like literally in my dream. Wait. So you're an egomaniac narcissist. So you're a solace. Sorry, we could all be in like Trump's dream. That evil threw it on him. It's his day. It is what this is all his dream, isn't it? That he, it's like, I just I'm sorry. I can't get over that he had fucking YMCA. I like it. You have to watch the apprentice. The movie. Oh, no, the movie. The movie was Sebastian. I love the apprentice of the TV show. So it is Bo and Yang. I loved it. Well, it was like the back of the day. I liked it too. It was the best. I did like the apprentice back in the day when it was all fun games. Yes. I'm talking about the apprentice 2024 with Sebastian Stan and Jeremy Strong. Essentially, the apprentice referring to the fact that Trump was Roy Coles apprentice. I mean, I pledged to watch that. It's really interesting movie. And did it get like a little bit where people worried about it? Yes, definitely. They were worried about it. It's not really. Why? It's Sebastian Stan's Oscar. I'm sorry, Golden Globes Peter was like, we cannot move in fear. Is this leaf distracting? No. Are you distracting? Are you distracting? Are you sure you're okay with it? There is rustling a foot. I mean, certainly. Okay. But I just feel like if I were to have a leaf on my head throughout the entire day. I'm me doing my job. Well, good thing you're not. That's crazy that this is actually our job. Right. If I had a leaf on my head during my entire workspace, I would think. Well, good thing you're not a Pokemon. Because there's I think there's a Pokemon with a leaf on his head. There's leaf. I Pokemon on and you better watch your mouth. Chica Rita. Yeah, hello. Bitch. I just I have more proof that that's pretty good in history. Chica Rita. Chica Rita. That that. That. I was your friend. I knew I was a friend. I was a friend of mine. Lisa Barlow. Wait, what was it? I was a friend. I'm your friend. I was a friend of mine. Yeah, I can't quite that. That's one of the craziest moments. Garbage horror. Garbage horror. You were. The fact that she came back from that with me. Like the fact that I was a friend of mine. Oh, I didn't believe a little. Well, I didn't tell you about. I was at Sundance one year and I this is the same year I went to her store and I saw Meredith at an after party and I turned to her and I just go Meredith. You know, I root for you and Lisa and she and she literally turns to me and she goes, well, explain to me how that would work. Oh, I was like, oh my God. Which of the hell have they healed from that? I think you just kind of get over to things when you're a housewife. Girl, when when fucking Heather said about Whitney, like the, whoa, the text, the text, the piece of shit. Yeah, you're a piece of shit. That's crazy. You're a fucking liar. You're a bitch. That's literally what she says. The worst thing is you can talk to her. Like looking her in the eyes. No, you are. You're a liar, Lisa. You're a liar, Lisa. You talked to Whitney last season and you're like, how are you with the girl? How, how are you doing? And she goes, I'm good because the girls are all good. Like she said something like everyone knows how to do the show and we're a good cast and we're together. And also I did here. I think Joel saw Meredith somewhere. And he was like, how are you feeling about the season and Meredith fully with a big smile? I was like, I loved it. Everyone really came to work this year. Like they're loving it. They're amazing. Like NGK came on the show and you could tell she felt like a queen. Yeah. As she should. As she should. Oh, two things. I want to say. Please tell me when I'm afraid that when people see me, they see Rowan. Why? Like when Rowan walks into the room. I'm going to bring Ronald McDonald's. It's like costume. Not costume. Mama. Mama. What did she keep saying, Mama? Mama, this is fashion. I'm a bond with man. I don't get this problem in a picture. But you'll see that's not what I'm like. Right. When I was there with my eyes, I was at his head. It's like you don't see like hot dog in a stick. If you're anyone on Salt Lake. You're at least a bar, though. No, you're not. You. Who am I? Get this right. Who you know. I think that you're Lisa and you're Meredith. That is exactly what it is. Yeah. Yeah. We saw ourselves in the first season. When Meredith tells Lisa, um, soft and our stuff. And Lisa, why make a cry? Oh my god. I'm going to cry. I'm crying. I'm crying. No. No. Meredith. I love you guys so much. I'm really close with them. It's just really hurting me because we're always friends, you know. Meredith's like, it's okay. We am going to cry. I'm crying. You look like a trampoline with eyes. Angie. Trampoline with eyes. Trampoline with eyes. Trampoline with eyes. I'm crying. I'm crying. Angie. One foot in the grave and another on a banana peel. How does that work? Where does she come up with that? You know what I mean? And Bronwyn reading it. She's got one foot in the grave and another on a banana peel. Can you tell me? I'm not laughing. I feel that way, by the way. That you have one foot in the grave and another on a banana. Which means what to you? Half cloud, half dead. Yeah, probably. Oh, bugley. Who's probably watching? Can you do me a really big favor? Can you look up? Doctor who skin stretched out, person? Oh, I know we were talking about. That's Trampoline with eyes. That's Trampoline with eyes. No, and then. Wait, can you do this thing? Insert image here. Yeah. Papa. And also make sure it says subscribe to lost culture. It says underneath it. Do it again, in fact. Do it again. Yeah. Subscribe to live school to recess here. Or should we say subscribe to I heart? Y'all. I can't with y'all. Y'all are some clowns. Really for real. Really for real. What? Okay, my neighbor's brain scientist. Yeah, yeah, getting to this. Should this be a two-part episode? Should this be called monster serenical part one? Oh, my God. And then we'll do monster serenical part two. Two. If we're really two. No, what? We have to go to work. We have to go to work. Oh, Jesus Christ, I forgot about that. Me, by the way, me really two. Me really two. Me really two. Take it back. Especially this week. Me really two. It's not me two. It's the sequel. Me really two. Hashtag. You thought we were, you thought we were stomping it out the first time? No, no. Me really two. Really two. Pussy grabs back. You thought Pussy was sitting on the shelf? Well, guess what? It was sitting on the shelf so long in the cabinet in the dark that it became one of those potatoes with the little arms growing out. Pussy grabs back. And this time it reeks. That's actually really good. That's it. Garamoth a little bit. Well, a culture number of fellows. We've never gone that high. You fucking freak. You know. You really came in here and said. You really said it's Sarah's culture. I'm going to say the culture that was for me when the Pussy is on the shelf. David Lynch. We should you drag that. Well, he passed. He's dead. Dead man. It's my neighbor's brain size. Yeah, yeah, I get into this. Sorry. She said. That global warming. Oh, no. She's brain size. She's a brain sign. That's not a climate sign. Global is not brain. Yeah. She's because they're shaped the same. A big circle. Brain in a globe. That's why my brain's always rolling around my head like a marble. Yeah, exactly. Did you tell her all this? Peanut headed bitch. What did she. What did she say? Little peanut headed bitch. One time my boyfriend drew a picture of me. That was little little peanut head. And we screaming. Hey, attention to me. And he's called it peanut head. And now Sarah, whenever she's in a wig. It's like, oh, that's the most peanut headed bitch I've ever seen. A little head. You have such a good head. You used a great. I love it. I love. It's a full transformation. You laugh immediately when I see you in red Bob. Are like, girl, like, you got obsessed with that one, Bob. She's like, you was a blonde. I love to. There's something like amazing about. I had. No, it's amazing. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. up in hair and it really was a moment of serp just been like looking at herself for at least five minutes. The girl mom being like, I'm beautiful. Yeah. I did the substance mirror thing. Yeah, the positive. You did it but you were like, oh, you were like so happy. I've got the bad when I have my teen a turner wig. I had a teen a turner wig in that pongo sketch. It was insert image here. Oh, the teen a turner wig. And once I had to wear a reba wig. That was great. And it was like, I was kind of like, were you playing reba? No, not in the reba wig. But it was a reba wig. Not in the first day. But in a way, all Acta's have, you know, it was kind of channeling. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That was amazing. I'm pretty good. I'm pretty good at singing. I'm real hard. When you were singing the hallway and it was resounding and reverberating, I was like, the all funny drain down my body and I was just living in pure honest moment. I was just like, wow, that's really kind. What did your neighbors say? Oh, what? Cause you said you were trying to... That's beautiful, what are your neighbors saying? Cause he's done with me and the singing. I need to pee so bad. Okay, okay, go pee, girl. How bad is it? Pretty bad. I've been holding it in for at least a half hour. Oh my god. You've been dealing with a lot with that. Should I go now? But I don't want to lose it. We've been on momentum this whole time. Okay, so my neighbor said that climate change, you really can tell that... He's here. Trump. Let her spit. Real, real, real Trump. Come on now, girl. Greenland. Trump girl girl. Get real girl. Get real. Greenland, really even alone. Really? What did your climate? What did your type brain scientists say about the climate? She said that global warming. You know that global warming is happening because dogs have dog bites are up. Because they're the ozone dogs like are breathing in ozone. And it's making them go crazy. And the first thing I said was Bronwyn. Oh my god. And then your neighbor was like, who? Yeah, no, literally. You know what's crazy? Brains aren't the problem. Don't watch real housewives. What's crazy about the Bronwyn dog attack is she got attacked by her favorite thing because she's got all those dogs named after the house of cards characters. Which... The show is the best show on television, I'm sorry. Oh my god. I named after characters from my favorite show, House of Cards. And then same show. Let me be frank. Let me... Oh my god. You're... So, I'm gonna light you on fire. Let me be frank. No, you know those dogs were named after. Let me be frank. Like, they're young dogs. And this girl's naming... I mean, House of Cards was like 2013. That was an old show. So she must have started binging like a few years ago. But do all those dogs look like newer than that? Yeah, they're not like House of Cards. I mean, if she had started the show, when it came on, like many of us did. And then, I guess she named her dog... She might have named her dog for... I would imagine her first dog was named Frank and you'd think the second one was Claire. Those dogs are old now. Those are old dogs. Really old. 13-year-old dogs. I thought all of her dogs look really young and I was like, that's crazy that she named them that recently. I mean... I am looking at the dogs and they don't look old enough to be from OG seasons. So, bless up. She started washing House of Cards after... Well, everything came out. After everything came out about Kevin Spacey, she said, not only am I going to start streaming, I'm going to name all my pets after this. This is just conjecture. We don't know. They could be... They got money. You know, those dogs have money. They get to get everything replaced. They took the substance. Hey! Group mind. Group mind. Group mind. Group mind. When you can get an Arrhythm, ride the wave, babe. One foot in the grave and another on appeal. Look at that melody. I know. Another on appeal. You know what I mean. But Nana. You need to be in the minions movies. Wait, Eric is... Eric and Jane. We're on appeal. For legal reasons. We're on appeal. We're on appeal. For legal reasons. Time was an evil mind. Oh no. But he was like... Time was driving. He gave it by the tariff float. Oh yeah, this is a lugga. I know. He's iconic. He's amazing. They carflipped over how many times? Three. Three times. Because it's snowing in the past day and... Kyle was like... What? What? Or what? Or what? Or what? You're ugly. It's definitely pain. Just a fuck up. Kyle is like... What? What? What? What? What do you have to say to Kyle Richards? Talk to the camera. Because after you say it, we're going to do out on things money and then we're going to let him pee finally. Please. Girl, you got to speak truth to power. Yeah. Who's the power? She's the power. I think unfortunately she's the power and we've given her too much of it. I agree. Just speak. Be honest. Yeah. Say... Okay. Say I'm gay. Or say I was gay for a second. Yeah. Say I was gay. Mauricio, she did on me with Doree. Just say it. My take on Kyle is... Well, she literally... The cameras are only there for her own comfort because I do think that she's dealing with a pretty real thing which is that she's separated from her husband. He's not around and none of her kids are around. So I think the cameras are there more so that she can have... She keeps the voices a bit. People that she knows there so she doesn't spin out but she shouldn't be on the reality show anymore. She's not willing to portray her reality. She's not willing to do it in any shape or form. Period. No, you're very right. Philosopher can. Tell your brain scientist, the neighbor that... To chew on that for once. The ozone's making him spit fire. Yeah. Dogate texture up, you know. And you know what? Fuck, you know what I changed everything. I said, did that woman was a mole? She was and you made a joke out of it. You made humor out of it. And it sucked. It wasn't comedy, it was humor. And Sarah, it sucks to sit here while you did that. Cheering on violence against women. You know what? This week. This week. If you don't laugh, you'll cry, I believe the phrase goes. The old adage. Mm-hmm. He said that like Yoda. The phrase goes, I'll believe you. Someone looking at you and your eyes. Too funny. That's too funny. Too funny, too furious. That's all you had to say to Kyle. You just give me time. Yeah. By a meme. Like and subscribe to last coach. Can I explain that? Kyle would have been good in that. You should have been really really really really really really. You should have been really really really really really really. Goldie Rose Depp. Lily Rose Depp. I think he said Goldie Rose Depp. Goldie Rose Depp would be funny. Britney could have played that. Britney, Batman. Yeah. Ah! Did you see Nosferatu? Yes, clearly. You saw it. This is awesome. You loved it. Your top two of the year are Nosferatu in substance. My top two of the year are the substance and the real housewives of Salt Lake City. You know how I hear it? Great. Great. So it's time for I don't think so honey. The star famous segment. Where we take one minute to really take down something and filter that we feel it deserved. This is our moment to do that. Yes. Do you have anything? I don't really have anything. Okay. But do you? I really do. And you know you actually know about mine too. I know about you. Yeah. Okay. Then it's going to be amazing. I can go first. Okay. This is Bowen Yang's. I don't think so honey. And his time starts now. I don't think so honey. You midifier. I'm waking up in the morning. You're blasting off all night in the corner. I'm waking up in the morning. Lips still chapped. How come is that? How come is that humanifier? If you're not doing the due, then I can't give the give in my everyday life. I'm walking around with chapped lips and a chapped ass while we're at it. All because the droplets, the mist, whatever you do, what do you do? What do you do? Successfully. Successfully. There was a Bianca del Rio to Lagandra, a straw. What do you do successfully? Humidifier. I asked you to be honest. To Trinity. Oh, I thought it was to Lagandra. 15 seconds. An amazing season of television. Great season. RuPaul's Drag Race, season six. And we're going to be reviewing it. And we're going to be reviewing it. And we're going to be reviewing it. And we're going to be recap podcasts on our Patreon just getting we drag. Drag Race. Thank you. RuPaul. Five seconds. Humidifier. Thank you. That was one minute. But would you say that you were dry as your mother's vudged. I know. Sort of like her vagina. Sort of like your vagina. Lagandra should have won that season. That was an amazing season. For impact on culture, she should have. Oh, absolute. You know what? But my time. I'm out of this. I'm the only side of this right now. I don't think so. didn't win season six of your post drag race. You're still quoting it. You're still obsessed. Yeah. Bianca, we love you. We're not quote, I guess I just did. Not just saying. We still say, you know what Bianca, you deserve your victory. It should have been a tie. The the monex James Trinity, K bonnet, I shouldn't have been the little tie. Lagonger should have tore up that win. Just like she tore up the whole season. I feel very attacked that she didn't win. In fact, you know what? I actually hung out with the gonger restaurant. A lovely person. Of course. And let the girls have their marijuana if they needed to be right because she probably would have actually ate down on that season. Truly. We even more than sure he did if they had allowed her her little refer medicinal 15 marijuana. And you know what? Of all weeks to not let Lagonger smoke weed on season six. But all weeks you pick this week. I don't think so honey. And we're not headed in the right direction in this country. We're not. And that's one minute. Does anyone know? Could anyone do the standup set by heart? Sort of like over John. Can we? Can we? My name is Lagonger. Hold on. We need to do it. We need to pull it up and do it and do a reading. Lagonger stand up set. I and also I respect the hell out of her that she will not return to the show. Oh, yeah, I'm sure they've asked many times because who wouldn't want to see that she came back to like to absolutely slay a lip sync to do a leaps physical. Yes, that was a total knockout. But she won't return to the show to compete because it's like she's had it. Good. Okay. What is it? Hey, hey, hey, hey, put your light is up. Gondas in the house. And as you can tell from my accent, I am from Dallas, Texas. And it was not very easy growing up. Look at this. Whether I was playing in my grandma's clothes or putting on a show for my well-organized alphabetically order baby's I was go go go go gay. Oh, yeah. But it wasn't until I moved to Los Angeles that I discovered marijuana. I mean, I like to smoke y'all. I'm just flying highs. You're receding hairline. Oh, cool. Marijuana really does help me go down. So y'all, I went to Valencia where they film the TV show Weeds. Yeah, y'all, it's very dry. It's almost kind of like you're a vagina. Can I get a name really? Hey, man. Now y'all, I'm a tree hugger because I've been in green. I'm not interested. I was on the page. Had she done this in a way that like at the time really owned it. Like how has she been high? It was. Like, she's done this like it's funny because if it ain't green, huh? I'm not interested. That's a. But this one I'm saying is she created what comedy is. Right. Like, right. This podcast wouldn't exist. You think this podcast would exist? You think the comedy seller was built in a day? Angie Kay needs a set at the comedy. We need Angie Kay and Lagonga Estrangea doing like a travel show together. Yeah. Yeah. Absolutely. I bet Angie Kay smokes some raffer. Don't laugh. Rebecca. No, her house is too pointy. I would be afraid of the shapes of tips of things. The shapes. What else? What else? Your head. What else? I'm trying to go my triangle. You asked like 15 times. I'm a visual learner. Are you? Oh, look at her house. I go. I would like if I was too high, I would like fall and down to hit my head. I was a pointy marble slabs. I know. I appreciate a house that's really dangerous to live in. That's actually my aesthetic. Hasardist place where if you even think about bringing your kids, they're going to get hurt. Right. Don't bring kids into my house. Don't bring kids into my refrigerator house. Exactly. My house is ice cold and pointy as shit. Remember Monica fell down the stairs? Like, yeah. Make lock emolence and my green ice cream or something. Monica's mother. We forgot. Oh, crazy. That was the craziest woman. What was her name? I don't know. Tippy-Hedriner. That's what it was. Tippy-Hedriner. Yes. Thank you. I find it kind of was that. How was Monica's mom's name? What did I say? Linship. Behead Dray. Linship. Behead Dray. You were right. All right. So this is Sarah's. Mine's like, you guys are going to have to edit it out. It's going to be so fucking brutal. Okay. Oh shit. This is Sarah Sherman's. I don't think so honey. Her time starts now. And I'm speaking my truth. This is you know this is true. I know the clock is running out. I'll take my time. How much I want. Santa Maria novella. I don't think so honey. That you reformulated my patchouli. I have been wearing these same patchouli from Santa Maria novella for five years. I went to go buy another bottle, spray it on me. I go. I'm sorry. Why is it not spraying sticky? Why is it not so sticky? Why is it not coming out smelling like balsamic vinaigrette and stank and rank? Why does it not? Why does it smell nice? Why does it smell like a dog's heat on me? You changed it. 15 seconds. I called the office in Italy. They've been making perfumes there in an apothecary. Munks make the perfumes since the 1600s in touch. Five seconds. I called them and I say you reformulated. They said no we didn't. I go but when I spray my shirt it's not stained brown. Because that was all for you. That's funny. Keep going though. My old patchouli formulation. It used to spray it on your shirt. There would be a big brown stain. Like you spilled soy sauce on you. We're not gonna see you. Just the way I like it. This is just too brutal. It's just too brutal. It's just too brutal. The bottle would be so sticky brown sticky all over like sear. You couldn't even touch it. I used to be able to walk into a fucking elevator and everyone would go whoa. Get a job hippie. And now it smells nice. And then they gaslight me and I call and I was like hey you guys. You stupid munk. Change it back. You freaks. You queer to freakish munks. Get fuck. This Italian woman is like no it's the same. I email everything. Free email. Yeah do the accent. Bungiorno. Okay. No. Oh my god that's sucks. Mom I mean that's a patrulli pizza. You're on an SNL. Just say. No I'm not. Actra down. Actra. And they act. So well you know what I have to do. I have to go on eBay. I have to google Santa Moranovella patrulli and guess what comes up. Bottles literally with one table spoon of the patrulli left and I'm buying it for $150 because that's how badly I want it and everybody know and that and that's why everyone on eBay is upcharging. Literally I bought it. Because Sarah is buying. Because Sarah is buying and they are trying to upsell symbols left of this old patchy formulation. So I beg you Santa Moranovella I know the platform that this podcast has. Oh no I stopped. I know what the power of last culture says. So I know things. So in conclusion. I don't think so honey. The gaslighting of women on a day week like this. Yeah don't we click this. Yes. Wow. Does remember how I was. No this was the saga. But I thought it had been resolved. I thought you had found the patrulli again. Well I found this is what fucking happened. Then I found the bottles on eBay that people were reselling the half of the bottle. But now everybody's caught on that the patrulli is different. But how does every. So now it's last on eBay. How do all these eBay people have a little droplet left over? Like who are these people? I don't know. I there's like there's there's there's someone for everyone out there. There's someone for everyone. And it just the they they change it and it smells like nice. And I I like to when I smelled like vinegar. Yeah. I used to smell when I used to come in the way office. I used to smell. Not a bit truly. Just keep breathing and breathing and breathing. When I breathe in I smell the chili. You should just put vinegar in the bottle. Vinegar and soy sauce. Why do you smell like vinegar? Soy sauce. Stinky socks. That's dog pee. All right. All right. And now smells like grass. I don't think so honey smelling like nice grass. It smells like a segment. It smells like a shell. Smells like pussy on the shelf. My time restarted. I got a UTI from holding in this piss. The hemorrhide of the penis. Oh, it isn't that bad. Well, it's you know, I've been holding it in for a while. You get asked for the third time if it's that bad. More time as fast. It could be Logan Roy going to the brain drive you piss crazy. What? Is that was that what happened to Logan Roy? He went piss crazy on that one. Is that what? Is that what you die? Who's your favorite Roy? Oh. Oh. Wow. Kendall. Kendall? Kendall. No, that is just if that's long Island. Kendall Roy triggers me. Because that's long Island. The main way. That is every person we grew up with. Down. Yeah. Yeah. If they had had money, which are around me, well, whatever. Yeah, you're right. That's why it triggers me. You don't like just remember that you guys. That he has to pee really bad. No, wait, what did you remember? For the free challenge, are my friends. Did it dance? It did. It did. Yeah. And they were like, Sarah, you can be in the back and press play on the boom box. That's a traumatic memory. What the hell? They have to switch out the cards because we've been going for two hours. And so we're going to end it. This has been so wonderful. This is great to get to know you on the video. I don't want to end this. Trust you. The fact that you've been having a great time. The great thing about you guys having booked SNL is now you get to go hang out with each other even more. And you know what I want you guys to do? Ride something together this week. We are. Oh, trust me. We are. Trust me. I legit am tired from laughing. It's crazy. We end every episode with the song. You can push the boom box in the back. Hey, yo. Uh-oh. Hey, yo. For more, listen to Outcast. Speaker Bops. Speaker Bops. Love the low. Love the low. The classic album. Double album. Double album? All right. ATLians. LAUGHTER Los Coles Races is the production by Will Ferrell's big money players in our radio podcast. Created and hosted by Matt Rogers and Boan Yang. Executive produced by Anna Hosniye and Hanson. Produced by Becca Ramos. edited and mixed by Doug Bame and Meneful Board. And our music is by Henry Comersky. Attention. Attention. Rail travelers, platform paces, window gaysers, and our wrestling gonshiators. Have you heard? The big rail fair for ease is here. Rail fairs have been frozen across England until March 2027 on standard class tickets. Including off-peak, end time, and season tickets. For more information, visit nationalrail.co.uk slash fairs for ease. Season season excursions apply. This is an iHeart podcast. Guaranteed Human.