Rewind with Karen & Georgia - 92: The Halloween Special

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The internet loves to say go touch grass, as though lawns aren't a constant source of stress. Brown patch, personal failure, fertilizer, grow up. Sunday is a yard care company designed to make that easier. They analyze your soil, use climate data, and build a custom yard plan. Sunday uses nutrient-dense ingredients, not harsh chemicals. Which feels better already. Go to getsunday.com to get your free custom yard analysis. That's getsunday.com. Goodbye. My favorite. Hello. Hello. And welcome. To Rewind with Karen and Georgia. That's right, it's Wednesday and that means it's time for us to recap our old episodes with all new commentary, updates, and insights. Today we're going to recap Episode 92, which we named the Halloween Special. That's so creative of us. Why? But why you ask? Well, you'll see. Let's listen to the intro of Episode 92. Hi. Oh, hi, Georgia. Hi. So nice to see you. Nice to see you, Karen. Love your green top. Thank you. This is my one of two blouses. There's color. I like the color. I just decided to go with some color. It's bright. It shocks people. It brings things out of you. It brings, for about four minutes, go ahead, fake eyelashes on. Oh my God. And yet then the rest of me is dressed like I've been in bed for four days. It's a great combination. Well, I have something to tell you. Okay. I think it's not a big deal. But as of today, Mimi is on Prozac. What? With my cat. Yeah. Am I the most Los Angeles person you've ever met in your fucking life? My cat and I are on pharmaceutical for depression and anxiety. Wait. Why is Mimi on Prozac? She's so chill. She's a grumpy bitch and she's unhappy. Listen. Where did you get the Prozac? My therapist. You're not up. No, we took her to the vet and I was like, look, she's just hiding in a box of my favorite murder merch all day. People love that. We should make them pay extra for that. Right. For Mimi, for her. Yeah. I'd be so pissed if I ordered some new shirt. And it would be like, I have all my own animal hair. I don't need this. So as you can tell, this is the spooky episode of my favorite murder. We start out with the creepiest thing of all. A cat on Prozac. Everyone who's not from Los Angeles is like, what the fuck is wrong with these people? That's hilarious. Oh yeah. So this is our special Halloween episode. Yeah. Where, because our normal show is not scary at all or creepy or a huge bummer. So we figured we'd go a little ghosty for you on this one. We asked you guys to write us your personal real. We begged you to make them true. Yeah. And we, we, we read for truth authenticity. Is that what it's? We read for authenticity to make sure you guys weren't lying liars who lied. That's right. And Steven, Steven, a lot of people don't know this, but in his mustache, there is a lie detector. So he will sniff that shit out the second literally clicks that email open. He'll be like, uh, uh, uh, uh, no way. Steven's mustache. Keeping you honest. My mustache is tingling. There's lies in this email. Since 1985, I don't know when he was born. I'm guessing it's 1985. I bet it was in the late eighties. 87. Yeah. I wasn't specific. I can't, I'm pretending to be that I won that somehow and I didn't. You did. I'm like, I just tried too hard sometimes. Um, by guessing a year. I'm gonna go. Don't, hey, take a prozac real quick. Take one, take one of Mimi's prozacs. It was fine. Last night, George and I had dinner, Steven, this, you'll think this is funny. And the, one of the people at dinner was like, how long have you been doing this podcast? I was like, almost a year. George is like, almost two years. I was like, what? That blew my mind. I know. Mine too. I think I asked you as a question. I wasn't like, two years, Karen. No, it was like, almost two years. It must be two years. Can't be right. Yeah. Man. Crazy. It's gone so fast. It's been so fun. I think. Yeah. Two years. For real. You know what I mean? Like this is like an infancy of podcasting. And so that means two years is a long time. So this is a dog year situation. Is that what you're saying? Got it. So this is like our 17th year. You know what I mean? Coming up on. Yes. Do you know what we need to talk about? What? The thing that I, and everyone wants to talk about this. Mine, Hunter. Did I say it right? Yeah. That's how you pronounce it. Yeah. Great. Let's talk about it. So you're a no. I'm not. I am on like episode five and I must, I must sometimes. Okay. I don't, I don't, I must sometimes. I don't want to talk shit on it because I fucking like it. It's really cool and exciting. But the, and I, but it's, but I must sometimes. Well, there's so much build up and I'm sure I had a lot to do with that because there's no way I wasn't going to love this. Yeah. I just, I, I permanently loved it before I ever laid my eyes on it. Yeah. Um, and there were, it did of course, because all pilots. Yeah. Slow and are difficult. Um, but I, this, I loved it and I like, I, I love his directing and I love whoever art directs for David Fincher or there's like things like that I love. It's just like scene by scene that it's the interpersonal relationships of certain characters that I don't give a shit about. Like I love when they're actually interviewing the criminals. Yeah. Then there's other like the guy who played Ed Kemper needs all the awards. I, I, in my mind, I start going like, how did you cast this role? Dude. Because you have to get a guy that's like, we need people that they have to over six six. Like they have to be really giant, but they also then have to be great actors. How many? It's not like, you know, LA is full of those people. So I'm like, this guy, I bet you they found this guy in like the Canadian outback. He's probably really a serial killer. He's out. That's his jail. He's actually in. Yeah. They were like, this, he's just good. We have to hire him. And I know it's weird. Um, but worse things happen in Hollywood. Yeah. Wait, like what? Every day. I've read the articles, but I, yes, Ed Kemper, like for me, I was like, I'm in whatever is happening here and whatever they're trying to develop. Because I could feel that thing of there. It was, it's, you know, a period piece basically. It's like starts in the late seventies. All that, this, those old cars, man. I was thinking the same thing when they would kind of come around a corner and there would just be streets lined with old cars and all different, you know, they looked so real. I just, I don't know. I go way into the detail, but then I also love that actor. So the lead actor I love, he's like a, I mean, he's from a million things, but he's also like a Broadway star. He's a little sweet baby angel. And beautiful. And yeah. And kind of had the perfect like, um, you, that's not how you picture an FBI, like some hard nose cigarette smoking. It reminds me of Dennis from It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia. So much that I keep thinking it's a joke. That it's going to be like a sketch. Yeah. But like he actually is a horrible person. Yeah. I don't know. Yes. It's very, it's drawing to me. I mean, I'm going to keep watching, of course. Keep watching. I binged it. Um, when, I think it was when we were going, we were leaving for the Anaheim leg. Yeah. I like to call our weekends legs of tours cause that's how you know, rock stars talk about it. Um, but I bit my friend Molly was like, Oh, it's on right now cause they put it up at midnight on Netflix. And I was like, what? So I started watching it at one AM the night before we left for that weekend. Cause I was like, and I got, I think I got through the first one. First five. And then, you know, we had to leave and then I came back at the end, which was so satisfying. Well, Halloween is when we started hanging out two years ago. That's a whole shit. Right? Nice one. Yes. Halloween two years ago is when the podcast was born. It was in utero. That's right. That's when we planted the seed. That's when we did it with our personalities. Yeah. That's when we actually boned. And then, you know, you don't get pregnant for like two or three days, right? That's right. Like a while. Yeah. And that's when you were like the inception moment was Georgia texting. I can't remember or calling me and then being like, let's just do a podcast. Let's just do it. Let's do a podcast. Yeah. I was like, okay, if you make it really easy for me, then I will. And you were like, I will. Let's have a baby together. We'll name a podcast. We'll love her and caretaker. What are you going to be for Halloween this year? No. Me? Yeah. I'm going to be on my couch. What I am every year on my couch. Good. No, I actually, uh, our friend has a party that everybody goes to that's a ridiculous humongous, our friend Scotty. And he said, I promised him that if we were in town on the day he has it that I will go because I always say I will. Remember the year that I was supposed to go? I dropped my phone in the pool. Okay. And then I couldn't tell you that I wasn't going. But it was so boozy. I think you would have lost your mind anyways. It's just like grown up alcohol, like grown up drunk kid party. Yeah. But fun. So, I mean, just kind of legendary, but also I think I should do the thing of the old people going early. Who cares about this topic for real? But I also, let's go early. I'll go early with you. Cause I don't want to go early. And then also cause the parking is so crazy in that neighborhood. Look how old we are. I mean, and these kids are so loud and they take marijuana. Oh, they're so loud and they take marijuana. They will take marijuana right next to you. And then how could you even see what anyone's dressed as? It's too dark. And your vision's gone because you're high on marijuana. Okay. We're back. Karen, how many blouses now that you're a full time podcaster with sponsorship deals left and right? How many blouses do you have? I don't want to fuel the haters, but I think I have upwards of six blouses at this point. So yeah. I mean, in jewel tones too. What if you told Karen 2017 Karen that she would be wearing jewel tones on the regular? She'd spit in your eye. And then she and Mimi would take their prozac and fucking leave. Prozac share. I love the announcement of that where it's like, so, you know, do you feel like now 10 years later has Mimi's mental health journey improved since those days? No, we've just gotten comfortable with her anger. You know, like I realized it's not, it's not about what's around her or what's, you know, it's just her. She's fucking mad. And now she's old and mad and has to live with a fucking dog and little cat who's like, she's just not fond of. So I think that Mimi's biggest problem and prozac isn't going to take care of this is that she's supposed to be an only cat. So. And she's the opposite. Yeah. Just like, and I guarantee that will never happen to you. Right. But she's going on strong. I'm 2017. It was a long time ago and Mimi's fucking still kicking it. I think we know a lot of people who are great examples of how bitterness and spite actually are great engines and really move you along really nicely. Fules the fire of life. That's right. Okay. So this is an episode where we just read Halloween hometowns, which I love for us. Like what a great way to fucking not have to do our homework for an episode. Themed it out. This is back when I had two jobs. So we're just like, how about we have other people do the work for us. Right. And Steven's mustache figured it all out for us. That's right. All right. Let's get into some spooky hometowns. Once spring hits, getting dressed becomes less about surviving the elements and more about what actually looks good. And that's why spring is a great time to grab some quality pieces from Quince. 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Okay. I'm going to read this one first. The subject line is, I'm glad she didn't look us in the eye. Hey all. Sociopath. My story is from a couple years ago. My niece, two years old at the time, was standing on top of my desk pulling books out from the attached bookshelf one by one. I stood behind her ensuring she didn't fall to her death should she trip on a Nancy Drew and stumble. I spent so much of my life standing behind Nora, letting her do what she wanted and just being there. And then it's such a weird feeling of like, oh, I wonder how many people did this for me when I thought I was out by myself like doing stuff and there was just an adult there waiting to catch you. Or not. Or that should have been there. Yeah. And then it wasn't. Yeah. Okay. There's so many options. Everything. Okay. So, I stood behind her, said that to our left is bedroom door which goes into a hallway that leads to the kitchen to the right and the garage to the left kind of like a three-way intersection. We were in there for a little while her pulling books, me estimating how long it would take to clean up when it happened. From my peripheral vision, I saw my great aunt slowly start to pass by the door frame. I could see the red robe she wore all the time, her short curly dark hair and her ever-present bright red Taylor Swift lipstick. Oh my God. My great aunt died four years before that day. When she vanished from the door frame, I scooped up my knees who had stared unblinkingingly at her the whole time. So the baby saw it too. Oh my God. And followed but when I turned into the hallway, nothing was there. She was 100% real. We both saw her. What the fuck? But no matter how many times I've told the story, absolutely no one believes me. I'm into weird stuff. I believe the Lochmas monster is real. Me too, girl. No. Yes. Yes. Hell. Because, because, first of all, okay, don't make me get mad at you, Georgia. Why do aliens are real? Let's go. Ready? Go. No, I don't like those. I think the Loch... Stephen, are you with me on this? I'm totally. You guys. Because listen, and this might be your theory too. We don't know what's in the ocean at all. It's not the ocean. It's a lake. Lakes are connected to the ocean in subterranean underground tunnels and they could be living down in caves and places that we have. We don't know we're down there because no one's ever fucking explored 99% of the ocean. I agree with all of the, all of that. The ocean is fucking amazing and monsters are among them. The Lochmas monster specifically was made up by a dude. You, okay. But that's a cynical punk rock thing. That's not true. Punk rock. It has nothing to do with the dead Kennedys right now. You're trying to be punk rock about the Lochmas monster and I resent it. No, I'm not. Why is my musical taste being brought into this argument? Because you're just, you have to believe. You have to. It is the best idea that's something that's a holdover from 50 million years ago is like, oh, but I was hiding around the corner. He killed me off. That when that when that meteor hit, I was just chilling and I saved all this algae. I don't know. I just want to believe in it really bad. Same and same. Well, they, they found a supposedly extinct sila canth fish like that had been dead for millions of years and they found it like 20 years ago and it's just been hiding out under Madagascar for millions of years. Believe in Cedar car fish or whatever. But the Lochmas monster specifically, you know, I believe in dinosaurs. Listen, I don't think he wears that little Tamashanter. Okay. So that I agree with you is ridiculous. No, he doesn't have, he doesn't wear a kilten. No, that would be crazy. He's a fish. He can't wear a skirt. Okay. Let's, let's put a pin in this and say you're wrong and come back to it. When that Lochmas monster corpse washes up finally. I will a hundred percent. I'll go on record. I'll tell you you're wrong. I will not admit that I ever said any of this. A hundred percent Karen. We have a recording. No, never. That never happened. How do you believe the recording? I've double recorded this. Fucking aliens. I'm taking a picture of this recording. Okay. We've totally lost our place. They saw the aunt. Oh my God. I was scared. I was scared. I forgot. Guys were super scared. Remember the old lady with the lipstick that passed by? We believe her. I believe her. A baby saw it. A baby watching a ghost. Is the scare that you're seeing too? That's your proof. Down and done. Humans have all these things that are getting in the way of them able to see these spiritual things and babies just like a ghost. Okay, whatever. Why would that baby look away from the greatest game in the world? Pull books off her shelf? It wouldn't. You still play that game. I love it. We're going to get through one story on that. I love these ones. It's all digressions. She says it was the most surreal thing that has ever happened to me and I remember the moment clearer than anything else I've ever experienced. Looking back on it though, I remember she walked with her head down staring at the floor ahead of her and never turned to make eye contact with either of us, almost like she didn't see us. At the time this confused me, but now that I've had time to think about it, she looked miserable and I'm really grateful she didn't make eye contact with me. I have no reason to think this, but it can't be a good omen to make eye contact with a dead person. Yeah, that makes sense. That's good logic. I don't want to ever make eye contact with a dead person. I'm going to say that on this podcast. I know it's controversial. Stance. Yep, again, punk rock. Punk rock again. Well, ravey kind of. All my bad musical taste is getting thrown. You're in your big pants? Yeah. Have you ever posted that picture of you with those big pants and the choker on? Which one? It's the one that looks like it's the cameras on the ground. Almost all pants. You look like a pants model. You know that one? I think so. You have to post it. That you're so like 1994 in it. I know. I know. I will. I'm still not done with this email. Go on. Pants model. Pants model. I don't know what it was or what it meant, but I hope she found peace even if she hasn't if she hasn't already. Anyway, that's my ghost story. Love you guys. Even Steven F. Oh, even Steven. I thought they were saying it like the same. Like even now we're even Steven. Love you. Even Steven. That's a given. People always love Steven. Yeah. That was genuine and legit creepy. I love the idea of like seeing us being walked by. It's not like I saw this thing out of the corner at night or like I would come into the kitchen and all the drawers were open because that's the fucking scariest thing in the world. Right. Up on this post on post on post on post on post on post on post on post on post on post being open. Yes. Or like all the things taken out of this thing and placed on top of this thing. In those like, um, conjuring movies when they do that, when it's like someone steps out of the kitchen, when they go back, all the chairs are in a pile. The sixth sense in that scene. Yes. When the mom comes back into the kitchen and everything is just piled up. Yep. Murder. The best. Run. Yeah. Running. Goodbye. You wish you could run, but you have to stay. All right. Let's do the big hairy man. Okay. Love those. This is a love story, not a ghost story. About how I love hairy men. Hi, Karen, Georgia, Steven and all our favorite furry babies. I finally decided to write to you after senior requests for scary spooky stories till this day my mother still thinks I'm crazy. When I was around, uh, the age of five, I had a bunk bed. I'm a side sleeper. And if I laid on my right side, I could see my doorway being five. I had the worst, uh, being five. The worst thing in the world would be sleeping in a room with a closed door. I had to have my door open. Did I? Yeah. For about six months, often I would wake up in the middle of the night. I'm not sure what time, but all the lights would be out and everyone would be sleeping in my doorway. I would see a figure. It was a, it was large enough to fill the entire space. You could see the outline of what I would describe as hair and red eyes. There would be heavy rhythmic breathing. What I would sometimes wonder if it was the sound of my father sleeping across the hall when I, uh, when I would think about this later in life, I would be terrified. I didn't want to, him to know I was awake. So I'd pretend to be sleeping and casually roll over. Well, little me thought it was casual. I would eventually fall asleep. I would tell my mother about him and she would dismiss him as a figment of my imagination. Finally, after one night, I said to myself, when he comes back, I'm going to jump off the bed, kick him between the legs and run across the hall to my parents room. He never came back. Years later in grade nine, what's up Canada? I was asleep. I was some friends of mine. We were all telling stories and I began to talk about the big hairy man. One of the girls finished describing him. I was floored. She told me to speak to our friend Blake. I saw him in the hall of school that following Monday. All I said to him was, big hairy man with glowing red eyes. His eyes started to tear up. How do you know that? He said, oh, I said, I saw him too. He proceeded to tell me the, the big hairy man would sit at the end of his bed watching him. He says they spoke, but he doesn't remember what they said. Two years later, summer school, I'm talking to this chick, he would stand at the end of her bed and watch her about a year after that at a party at my friend's house where I was crashing for the night. I was sharing a bed with my friend Peter laying in the dark. I was telling him the story. He said, if you could see me right now, I have tears in my eyes. He used to stand outside my window at night. Finally, about five years ago, talking to a girl I worked with, he would stand at the end of her bed too. None of us have any childhood connections. None of us went to the same elementary school and only met in high school or after. None of us could find a connection. Now when my husband goes away for the weekend with the kids, all doors are fucking closed, including closets just in case. After telling my mother all the sightings, the woman still thinks I'm crazy. Stay sexy, close your bedroom door before you sleep tonight, Kelly. Now that's super creepy. Did I ever tell you my story about seeing something weird? No. When I was a kid, like five years old, and I was sleeping in a bunk bed at night, and we had like, you could, at the end of the bunk bed was a mirrored closet, like the moving doors kind. Yeah. And I was laying there at late at night. Everyone was sleeping and I saw the closet door open on its own, like a foot just like pushed open on its own. And I freaked the fuck out and ran into my parents' room and that's it. And you don't know what, oh, I swear, I remember it happening. Like, I don't think there was a pigment in my imagination because it actually fucking opened. Yes. And you were awake. I was awake and it opened. That's super creepy. And I had to like get all of my fucking courage to run back because I had to run past the closet door. I mean, those moments of like, when you are really young, you running, Kelly, right? Kelly, turning over, turning your back to like, basically a monster in the doorway. Like, even those moments of like being brave as a little kid are so huge. Yeah. Your adrenaline's just pumping. It's so, I mean, that's so scary. Okay, we are back. Revisiting our most legendary disagreement about the Loch Ness Monster. How do you feel about it today? And today's money, what's your opinion? And today's money, I think I'm three times more passionate. I've invested, I've doubled down, I've tripled down on the Loch Ness Monster. I believe now more than ever. Even the guy saying, I faked the Loch Ness Monster photo, Karen cannot, she thinks that the Loch Ness Monster threatened his life and said, if you don't fucking tell the truth. The proof that man was clearly in distress and clearly he would have never said those words had never not been a real Loch Ness Monster at his neck. Loch Ness Monster was like, snitches get stitches. And there's your proof. I rest my case, your honor. But how do you feel about the Loch Ness Monster these days? I was against it then, not against it. I'm okay with him being real, if he is real, but I don't, I can't imagine. I was accusing you of being lazy fair about the Loch Ness Monster. I think I still am, but I do love the idea. I love the anger or nothing. Or nothing at all. I do believe there's probably some crazy ass creatures out there we don't know about. So why can't one of them be in the Ness, in the Loch Ness? Right? Why can't they be underwater? Yeah. Hairy men or giant men? What's better? For me, giant. Giant? Although I'm not against Harry in the least. Yeah. It's like the hairy part is really, it's, what's, it's like, what is the word? It's really primal. It's really sexy and smudgy and musty. Until it tips over this like invisible line of too much. And it's a fine line of too much and in too many places. I wonder now that we're on the topic, if there's such thing as caveman smut, because we know there's hockey smut now and we know there's like cowboys, gay cowboy smut, whatever. Is there, do you think anyone's ever written an erotic book about, well, there's Clan of the Cave Bear? How many times have we talked about Clan of the Cave Bear this podcast? Like literally at least five. I just seated my own conversation and brought myself back around to sit down. I was waiting for you to stop so I could yell Clan of the Cave Bear at you. So sorry. Oh, if anyone doesn't know what that is, it's what all of our moms read in the fucking 70s and 80s. And then we didn't realize it was basically 50 shades of gray, but in a cave with cavemen. Yeah, a lot of loincloth action. Yeah, a lot of thrusting, like a lot of loud, hairy thrusting. I remember stealing it, being like, oh my God. Yes. I used to love stealing my mom's books and pretending I was reading like Judy Bloom or something. Definitely, definitely. I know my mom took away the outsiders from my brother when we were little, which made me want to read it. And we went through her closet and found it. And then you love it. Yeah. Okay, let's get back into more spooky listener stories. It's easy to make your drive amazing with reclining seats that melt the tension away, thoughtful tech, and charging ports that keep every device powered. Make everyday epic with the Hyundai Palisade Hybrid. It features class leading interior space and available front and second row relaxation seats that let you really recline and unwind. The 2.5T Hybrid Engine with up to an EPA estimated 619 miles of range on select trims. It's built for long hauls, quick errands, and everything in between. No matter where you're headed, the available 14-speaker Bose sound system makes for an immersive ride. 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Goodbye. The internet loves to say go touch grass as though lawns aren't a constant source of stress. Brown patch, personal failure, fertilizer, grow up. Sunday is a yard care company designed to make that easier. They analyze your soil, use climate data, and build a custom yard plan. Sunday uses nutrient-dense ingredients, not harsh chemicals. Which feels better already. Go to getsunday.com to get your free custom yard analysis. That's getsunday.com. Goodbye. Okay, let's see. Sorry, I fucked up these pages. Wedding dress ghost. Hi, Karen. Georgia, Stephen. Elvis, Mimi. I grew up in an old coal house off the railroad in old Minneapolis. Perfect start. I was in a rundown area of the city. It was in a rundown area of the city as though a designer just said rust was their vision. Anyway, the house was haunted. The trouble began when my parents bought the house before I was born. My mother found a wedding dress in the attic, originally belonging to the old woman who died in the house. Apparently, her husband had left her years before and she died alone. Oh, no. And then I just start crying. That's it. Thanks for listening. And then again, isn't that the scariest idea in the world? Dying alone. Happy Halloween. Mom liked the dress. And since she was going to get married, she decided to use this dress to save money. Lady, lady. You don't like it? The dead lady's attic dress? Well, she didn't want someone else to use it. She should have burned it in the backyard like a normal person, you know. Oh, you know how you do right after you get married. This dress is actually when she goes to put it on, it's just all made of moths, interconnected moths touching each other. And make a fly away the moment on. She disappears too into moths. Yes. But then they're in a moth pod up in the ceiling. Yeah. And the daughter comes in mom and she goes, mommy. Help me. From far away in a fan. Okay. To say my parents' marriage was rough would be an understatement. It's because of the dress. They fought a lot, but the energy of the house was a darker variety. When I was young, I would hear someone calling my name. When I'd investigate, no one had called for me. I'd see slithering shadows out of the corner of my eyes. I get that all the time. I might be having a seizure honey. I have floaters. There's all kinds of real, get your eyes checked everybody. But when I turned to look, the shadows were gone. My mom noticed this and she was disturbed, but my dad dismissed it as nothing. Allah, the shining, which is spelled the shining. Even my dog would not go upstairs at night, cowering whenever anyone tried to bring him near the room and preferring to stay outside. That's the creepiest part to me. That's so not dogs. Yeah. Dogs are like, I'm good out here. I'm going to go shiver in the yard where you should have burned that second wedding dress, bro. I'm going to go shiver in what should have been the wedding dress pit. Yeah. It's way safer out in the burning area. Things came to a head when I was taking a bath. No. You mean the skeleton hand that came up through the bubble? No, no, no, wait. I'll read. This is what it actually says. Okay. I was alone in the bathroom and I felt someone touch my back. No, no. I was too scared to turn around. Oh, no. And soon my mother came in and I rushed to her crying. My parents' marriage fell apart and eventually they divorced and sold the place. Since then, they've become best friends. Oh, no. I never felt that dark presence again. And though I've waned in my belief in the supernatural, I still get chills as an adult when thinking back. The dress was lost in a move. Oh, God. It's in a box and someone else is fucking addict now. It's in Goodwill. This is part two. It's the scariest Goodwill in town. The dress was lost in a move, but seeing so many B movies in my life, I'm sure it'll come around for sequel. Sooner or later, I swear I didn't read that ahead. Stay sexy. Don't get murdered. Gratefully and sincerely. Alan. Oh my God, that's awesome. It's scary. I mean, you, he had me at a wedding dress in the attic. Oh my God, totally. That's terrifying. Okay. This, that, the other. This one we did. Okay. You ready for Ghost Uncle Gets His Way? Uh-oh. All right. My great uncle Jack died when I was really young. He was always really kind, but also deviously sarcastic kind of guy who's diagnosed with lung cancer and lived for several years with it. Thanks to chemo. As he grew older and weaker, my great aunt Roxanne had a stand up shower installed in their bathroom. So he wouldn't have to step over the tub with the traditional bath. He hated that shower. He was in complete denial about being weak and he thought the glass see through door was ugly and tacky. Hey, fucking man. He constantly asked her if they could go back to the traditional bath on the day of his funeral. Roxanne was in the bathroom at the sink taking a breather from the reception. And out of the corner of her eye, she saw a figure moving towards the shower. Just in time, she turned a look at the shower and the glass door freaking exploded. The glass out of nowhere shattered. Yes. Needless to say, she went back to a normal tub after that. That sarcastic, hilarious dude got his way from beyond the grave, SSTGM Patrick. Oh my God. I love it like physical things happen. Yes. That's, yes. That's amazing. Patrick. That reminds, that just makes me think after my mom died. I think I told you the story, but our good friend Ellen Slater, her father was sick. This was say like a couple months after my mom died and she went to, she, like he had been sick for a while or whatever. She went to bed one night and she dreamed that my mom came to her and was like, you need to get your shit together and you need to get ready because your dad's going to die. And she woke up the next day and he had died. Oh my, the same night? Yeah. I get, yeah. What the fuck? I totally believe in that story. I do too. I mean, the night my mom's dad died. So my mom, like a couple of years before I was born, his name was George. So I'm Georgia. She was in New York visiting her sister and they were all out, my family's from LA. And out of the window, like third story window, my mom hears her dad yell her name, Janet. She rushes to the window, opens it up. Nobody's out there that night. At that moment, he died in bed asleep at home in LA. I totally believe in those. Yeah, I do too. Those are real. Like she, the way she tells it to me, you know, I 100% believe her. I love it. Well, yeah, I mean, that's, it was a real experience. And also, I think like when you're on this planet and you have connections with people and you're, and you believe like there's whatever it is, a burst of in it, whatever it is, there's some, you know, electric, there's electricity in the air. It's like radio waves, but goes, waves, but ghost waves, people, people radio, people radio plus AM. On that AM frequency coming at you, ready for Victorian ghost woman. Always. Hey, there Karen, Georgia, Steven and cats. My mom and I moved into a new apartment that was built in the late 1800s. So it is a lot, lots of history to it. Well, after a long days of moving, my mom fell asleep on the chase. Oh, well, well, the shades blue bloods emails from blue bloods, the shades left. She woke up to fingernails scratching on the arm of the chair. She woke up and saw a woman in white looking at her. The woman then slowly walked down the hallway and disappeared. For as long as we live there, I felt strange about that house as if somebody was always watching. The lady never bothered us or seen again. However, the people who live there after us have told stories that there was a ghost that would not leave them alone. I found out this story years later, and that creepy feeling now makes sense. Thanks for the awesome podcast. Stay sexy. Don't get murdered, Brittney. What a bummer to move into a place and just be like, you can yell at your neighbors for having fucking, you know, whatever TV show they're watching on too loud. The Americans like, can you please turn that lower, please? Or like fucking, what is it? Lord of the, what's the one? Yeah, the Lord of the Ring. Yeah. Yeah. Turn that lower. And it's like, stop haunting me. You can't do that. I know in, in all those like ghost haunting stories that I love that are on TV, it's the people move into a house that they just like spent all their money. And then they're stuck in the ha, this house where crazy shit's happening, but they're all like, no, we have to be in denial because we don't have the money to leave. Do you remember a couple of years ago, there was that story about a family who moved into some house that might have been upstate New York or something. I don't fucking know the details. And they started receiving letters from someone threatening them, threatening their children by name and saying specifically things about their children and their family that they did like their routine. They knew everything about them. And they were sending them these threatening letters like move the fuck out, I will kill you all. And they moved the fuck out. They didn't find out who it was. No. I mean, maybe they have at this point, someone let us know, but like, it was like, I was just like, I'd rather a ghost 100%. Yes. It was just some creepazoid who like probably grew up there or whatever. Or lived in the walls or just some fucking neighbor who was like, God, they listen to the Americans so loud. Yeah, exactly. That's that weird thing of like, if some crazy person that lives near you and there's the slightest, you know, they're like, we brought you a pie and you're like, I'm sorry, I don't eat pie. And then the letter writing campaign starts. Luckily, the murdering who lives two doors down is really fucking cool. And she has the cutest dog I've ever seen in my life. Oh, good. Thank God. Thank God. That's very lucky. Because if she had just been cool, it'd been fine. But one thing, but the dog is cute. So that's cool. So it's my turn. Ready for a sappy ghost story, Karen? Yes. Because this is called Hey, y'all, how about a sappy ghost story? I was born into a family of funeral directors who operate three funeral homes in rural Tennessee. Fuck yes. So death has always been part of my life. We had at least three Christmases and my eighth birthday party at the funeral home because they were too busy to leave. My dad and brother have talked about times they felt a spirit with them or was in the funeral home, but I never experienced it myself until 2007. In early 2007, my grandpa and my Yorkie dog passed away. That August, I moved to Knoxville for college and was having a rough time emotionally losing my grandpa and dog moving away, starting college, clusterfuck of emotions. My then boyfriend, let's call him Jack, lived in an off campus apartment and his sister lived nearby with her little dog Peyton. One day I was napping in Jack's room while he was in the shower. I was so tired and in that half sleep, half awake state, I was laying on my left side with my back to the door and I felt a little dog jump on the bed. I figured his sister had stopped by with Peyton. The dog walked around on the bed, put its paws on my right side just for a bit, then laid down at the foot of the bed. Seconds later, I felt someone sit down on the other side of the bed. Figuring it was Jack out of a shower, I didn't even bother opening my eyes or rolling over. He patted my right shoulder twice, just gave it just a slight squeeze and then the weight of him and the dog on the bed was gone. A few minutes later, Jack came in and woke me up. I asked him why his sister had left Peyton here and he said no one had been in the apartment and the dog wasn't there. I didn't believe him so I got up and went to the living room. No dog and the inside deadbolt chain lock was still locked. So no one had been in the apartment. Walking back to the bedroom, I smelled juicy fruit gum. Jack didn't chew that gum and neither did I but my grandpa had. He had kept an open pack and his overalls so you always smelled it when he was around. After realizing this, I immediately started sobbing. I knew it had to have been my grandpa with my dog letting me know they were okay and I would be too. Thanks so much for this amazing podcast and I can't wait to see y'all on Nashville, SSDGM, Megan. Oh my god. We're all so fragile. Do you ever get, when we're away in hotels and stuff and you're like falling asleep at night, do you feel your dog jump on the bed? I feel like cats jump on the bed all the fucking time. Do you? That's hilarious. It's just like the phantom, phantom buzz and you're like. Yes, phone ring. Yeah. I don't get that but I miss it. Thank you. Because Frank, my dog Frank, the second I get home and like lay down to watch TV or like whatever, he comes up and either slides all the way up and lays in front of me or goes into the bend of my legs and lays there. He's like, has to be directly pressed up against me. It's the cutest. And George goes into a little weird circle like far away and then goes, hmm. And she's all mad. She's mad that I left. She's mad I came back. She's just always mad at me. Oh. Okay. She's glad that you came. Here, here. So this is from a Reddit thread. I found out about this because a Reddit thread got posted on Twitter and so a bunch of murdering us let us know that this person was writing in and they were trying to get heard but of course our Gmail is chock full and no one had read this email. So we got the heads up and we went in and found it and actually I began to email with this person and had a good conversation with them and so they sent this email. And before I get started, I just want to give a trigger warning. This is a very intense letter. So people, if you're sensitive to sexual assault stories, you're not going to want to listen to this. A few months ago, a coworker turned me towards the MFM podcast because a story was told about me. Spoiler alert, I wasn't murdered. For reference, it was episode 92 in October of 2017. I actually wrote to you once before and indicated that I didn't want anything more published that I just wanted to set the record straight. But I've had a few months to sit on this and some time to bounce it off my therapist. And I've decided that I do want to tell my story. It was so crazy to hear my worst nightmare told on a podcast. It felt like a violation. So much of this has felt like something that happened to me and I want to control this part of the narrative. I want my real story told by me with my consent. On January 8th, 2017, I was working as a medical legal death investigator and forensic autopsy tech. I was working as swing shift alone. The building we were in at the time was old and decrepit. The building was not connected to any hospital, though it did house the county morgue. The upstairs part of the building was primarily offices and the basement was the autopsy suite and body cooler. That night, the region was experiencing widespread flooding due to rain melting the snowpack. Law enforcement resources were stretched thin and the old building was leaking and threatening to flood. The county had made press releases that county facilities would be closed the next day. In addition to scene investigations, part of my duties were to process cases for autopsy the next morning. Traditionally, I would do all of my writing and follow up from my cubicle upstairs and save the hands on processing until the very end of my shift. I would rather process three bodies in a row all at once versus go downstairs three times during my shift. Even after years of working with the deceased, the downstairs creeped me out. While I was upstairs writing a report, my computer keyboard malfunctioned. I spent some time fiddling with it, but ultimately decided to go downstairs to an abandoned office, turn storage room to get a replacement. Normally, I wouldn't have gone downstairs for another 45 minutes or so, but I couldn't finish my report without a keyboard. I was in the office storage room with my back to the door. When I turned around, there was a man leaning on the door frame. He was wearing a scary clown mask. He was calm and cocky, and he told me, you're early. He knew my routine. I was kind of frozen for a second. He rushed toward me and I swung the keyboard at him like a baseball bat. To this day, I can see some of the keys flying off in slow motion. He pushed me against a bookcase hard. My vision went white. I think my bell got rung pretty good because there's a couple seconds I can't account for. He had my right hand pinned up near my head. He grabbed at my skirt and ripped it. I thought he was trying to pull off my lanyard that had a key card and physical keys to the building. I tried to hit him, but I couldn't get any leverage. He was so close to me. Nothing I did got any response until I tried to pull the mask off. That's when he pulled the knife. He rubbed the knife over my face. He cut my cheek and showed me my blood on the blade. He called me a whore. He told me to undress and when I refused, he put the knife under my collarbone right at the subclavian artery and told me he would paint the walls red. He raped me. When I yelled and begged him to stop, he laughed and asked who was supposed to hear me scream. He stopped and told me to get on my knees. For the first time, he didn't have the knife to my chest or throat. I didn't think about it. I grabbed the knife by the blade and ran. Running up the stairs, I kept feeling something weird on the handrail. It turns out it wasn't the handrail that was weird, it was my hand. I started to run outside, but realized I didn't know where he was. Our old building was like a maze. I started to go to my desk, but stopped and hid under another investigator's desk. I couldn't find my cell phone and I called 911 from the desk phone. It took a couple of tries, having to remember to dial 9-9 before dialing out. I vividly remember hiding under the desk, trying to whisper to the dispatcher and watching the blood run down my fingers and pool on the ground. Our building was supposed to be secure and the responding police officers had no way to gain entry. I had to leave the desk and walk through two doors and a hallway to let them in. The whole time I was expecting him to pop out, but he didn't. It took law enforcement a while to clear the building. They didn't have keys, were unfamiliar with the maze-like layout and had to search every body bag. The man in the clown mask wasn't found. I was released from the ER several hours later. My supervisor drove me home, but we first had to go back to the building to collect my wallet and keys. It was dreamlike. Seeing the red and blue lights illuminate the area. Officers and deputies patrolling in pairs in the pouring rain reminded me of a scene from a movie. After the scene was processed, my coworkers cleaned my blood from the office, stairs, desk, doors, and wall. An email went out to the majority of the staff telling them not to report until 0800 hours. One of my coworkers, who are also my partners and best friends, went downstairs to prepare everything for autopsy. They found evidence that he had been waiting for me in the autopsy suite. Arranged on the back of an evidence cart next to an exam table were long strips of red duct tape. Two long pieces, two shorter pieces. The red duct tape was dog-eared, which is never done with evidence. As it was described to me, they were ready for someone at the floor level to be able to easily grab, ready to go. If I had been going down to processed bodies in my usual routine, I would have walked backwards, pulling a gurney to that exact spot. No arrest has ever been made. The only DNA that was recovered from my clothing wound up belonging to my infant son from where I had held him before going to work. The investigation of my case was transferred from one jurisdiction to another as the attack happened in a county building. This resulted in twice as many law enforcement officers being involved in various ways. The detectives investigating my case forgot to flag it as confidential, resulting in an unknown number of deputies reading details of my case. One deputy shared details of my case on a hookup app. One high-ranking officer shared the details with their family, and that is how it came to you in the first place. That night turned my world upside down. I moved, changed cars, my kids changed schools, and I ultimately resigned. The new facility that we moved into a month later is state of the art with cameras, alarms, and ballistics glass, but I was never again comfortable being alone in the morgue at night. I will always have to live with the knowledge that someone very smart, collected, and comfortable in a morgue is still out there. We know that he had been in the building at least twice before and likely once after. I don't know what exactly he had planned, but I'm thankful for a random faulty keyboard spacebar. I'm okay. It took a while of not being okay to be where I am now. I wanted to write to you because I think sometimes the person part of your stories gets overlooked. I found and reached out to the person who initially shared my story, but I think I freaked them out. Perhaps they were concerned that I was the perpetrator. Oops. If you have any questions about details or you need clarification, I'm happy to unscramble this. Thank you for your time. So we told a story that was third hand and not the person's story to tell. I don't think that the person who wrote in had malicious intent, but I think this is a very good lesson for all of us when we think about what we're doing and how we're talking and who we're talking about. So our apologies to you who had to hear her story on a podcast. That's the last thing that we want to happen. That's not what we're trying to do and it's not what it's about and we should have thought it through. We're going to try our best to keep aware of this and to keep you in mind so that we avoid mistakes like this in the future. And so George and I have decided that we're going to donate $10,000 to the Rape Abuse and Incest National Network to RAINN and we thank you for your understanding and for writing in and communicating with me and letting us retell your story the way you wanted it told. Okay, we are back in 2026. Yeah, the whole experience with the woman hearing her own story on our podcast with someone else telling it, sending it in and telling it incorrectly was really one of the most, of course, humbling but also really self-assessing moments on this podcast for me because it was like we're just reading stuff and trying to get our work done and this as a possibility, of course, just never would have entered my mind. And now, I mean, it felt so awful and I think that it didn't enter our mind and then it did and it hasn't left. When we tour and go to the cities, we do stories based in whatever city we're in or state we're in and you're always like, when it's a recent case, you're always like, what if that person's best friend or cousin or something is in the audience? How would I want them to react to this? Because you can't help it but you want to make sure you're doing it in a way that doesn't feel gross. Yeah. And it was really, I remember emailing with this person and they were incredibly fair and incredibly just straightforward about like not really being sure how they feel, not liking it. And I basically said, we can do any version of what you would like to do. We can take the entire thing down, we can take, you know, blah, blah, blah, whatever. And so what it ended up being and what you hear in this episode is what they asked to do, which is essentially replace the incorrect one with the correct one, which is their own story. And I think that was incredibly generous of them to allow us to do that and allow us to make that change on the show. Yeah. I felt very, very lucky that that's what their decision was and that they shared that story with us. Definitely. Okay, now we're going to go back and finish up this last batch of haunted hometowns. This is called Stabbed by a Ghost by Lacey. Whoa. Dear Karen, Georgia, Steven and respective pets. I'm a longtime listener, first time caller, as all of my hometown murders have been covered by y'all already. But I saw Steven's probably somewhere fucked up. But I saw Steven was looking for some spooky, oaky, kooky, honey. Experiences for a mini-zone. I had to throw my hat in the ring. Oh, sweetie. I was taking a sip. Did I coke when she spits? That almost came out my nose. I saw. Oh, but then she goes on to say, no, it makes better. This summer I was stabbed by a fucking ghost. What? I know how ridiculous that sounds, but hear me out. I worked for my family's bed and breakfast this summer. My family had been divided on whether the house was haunted or not. And until I started working there, I was firmly in the not haunted camp. I had stayed there as a guest from time to time, but I had never spent more than a few days in the house. Once I started working there, I experienced little things that I would shock up to natural phenomena, like my bedroom door swinging open or shut off or all the window blinds flying up mid piss. That's terrifying. Can you imagine? You're just and that's horrible. And you have to finish pain. Yeah. Yeah. That's horrifying. That's a funny ghost though. Yeah. That's kind of something sitting mid piss. Okay. Being a skeptic, I totally wrote all of this off until I was the only one on duty one night, which you can't write it off because then they're going to be like, oh yeah, well, let me let me really show you. Yeah. I was working on preparing some banana bread and a savory bread pudding for the next morning's breakfast. Okay. Yeah. I placed the bread in the oven, assembled the pudding to soak overnight and had thoroughly clean the kitchen. I went to the back laundry room to work on turning a few loads of laundry while the bread baked in the oven. About 30 minutes into baking, I went to the kitchen to check on the bread. I went to slip my hands into the oven mitt and was promptly greeted by a fucking paring knife stabbing me in between my ring finger and middle finger. Whoa. I removed the knife and found the first aid kit. I went to go curse out my mother for leaving a knife in the oven mitt when my blood ran cold and I remembered that I was the only one in the house. Being a skeptic, I used to be, I tried to find rational explanation for why a paring knife would be blade up inside an oven mitt. And then it says, hint, there's no rational explanation. It was not a knife I had used in the breakfast prep and there and it was usually kept in a drawer along with the other paring knives. I racked my brain for hours trying to wonder if I had truly put the knife in the mitt in some sort of, oh, remember why this is here later scenario. But then I finally came to the conclusion that the ghost was real and probably mad at me for taking, for talking shit about him all summer. I apologized out loud to the ghost and went to the doctor once someone else came home. Now I've just got a fun little scar to remind me of why ghosts are real and you shouldn't call them imaginary SOBs. Lots of love, Lacey. I mean, oh, then she said, I would held the name of the BNB because I didn't want you to say it on air. But if you're curious, I will write back, would love to have you guys come visit. It's got lots of, lots of ghosts and antique furniture. Oh, wow. We're there. That's everything I need. Yeah, because I was thinking, I was thinking, oh, well, if you keep, obviously, if you keep your oven mitt in the same drawer as those knives, right, but yeah, she wouldn't be scared if that were the truth. She'd be like, she would have already checked. And else you would feel it, right? Yeah. She just used the oven mitt. They were out, it sounds like. Man, when a fucking ghost cuts you, move. Leave. It's so crazy when ghosts can move shit around. Which is why I don't think it's real. I mean, look, listen. Do you think? Okay, go ahead. Like I think ghosts don't haunt me because I'm like, oh, cool. I'm like, great. That's funny. Yeah, I wonder, I wonder if it is locational, situational, or like about the people. I just don't think it's what we think it is enough that any of that would be true or matter. Yeah. Like, I just don't think it's like old person who's dead being like, I'm going to make this girl freak out when she's pink. You know what I mean? I'm going to stab her in between her fingers. But then I think that's also having been a person who has a ghost story. The frustration where you're like, well, this is the thing that happened maybe in and of itself. It isn't insane or like you could explain it, but that's not the explanation. And I'm telling you because I was there. And it doesn't make you feel any better about you experiencing that thing. Yeah. Someone being like, yeah, well, that didn't happen. You know, like people, anytime I tell my ghost story, they're like, you had sleep paralysis. It's like, no, because I've had sleep paralysis and I know the difference. I know what that feels like. Why do they need to do that? Well, I do that too. They want to solve it. Yeah. I mean, even to the other experiences I've actually had, I've been like, well, I had an active imagination or whatever the fuck. Why can't I just be like, that was fun? Right. It's uncomfortable to leave it with anything's possible. It's weird world. Yeah. Yeah. Is there a man in the crawl space or is it just a ghost? Hi, Georgia. Karen, Steven, Elvis, Mimi, Dottie, Frank and George. I will be at your Fort Lauderdale show on the 5th, November 5th. I cannot wait to see you guys. So my ghost story haunting comes from my hometown of Hamilton, New Jersey. Yes, that's the same place of the Megan Conco murder. Side note, I hope I pronounced your last name right. Side note, I went to the same elementary schools a few years after this happened. So, Sam, the elementary school was very big on Stranger Danger lessons that they tore that assholes to house down and made it into a park called Megan's Place, so the family didn't have to keep being reminded with that house. And our school used to take us there once a year to remind us of the true dangers of going with people we don't know. And that's the Megan's Law murder where Megan's Law came into play. Yeah. Started. Anyway, I was about 10 years old when my dad finally moved his out of an apartment and into a house. The family that lived there before us was an older couple who built the house. When the wife died of old age, parentheses might I add she died in the house. Oh, good. He decided it was time to sell the house and go into a home. I remember the first time I walked into this house and the weird feeling I got. I chalked it up to all the old people's furniture being in the house and the wife's sewing room being untouched since she had died. Her sewing room became my bedroom once we moved in. No. Weird things started happening as soon as we moved such as things being misplaced that no one could remember moving. Weird noises that my dad would explain by saying, the house is settling and you're just freaking yourself out. The house is just screaming and you're just freaking out. Why don't you like screaming? You're a child. The house is screaming in pain. It's perfectly normal. I mean, you wouldn't know we've always lived in apartments. That's right. You don't understand that houses have feelings like people and skin. Only pain but still a feeling. Okay, so fast forward a year later, my first night all alone in the house. Oh, I was using the computer in my dad's room chatting with friends on aim. Oh, yay. When I heard footsteps walk by the doorway right under the staircase. I ignored it as I thought it was the quote house settling and kept chatting away. Shortly after the first pair of footsteps, I heard multiple pairs of footsteps running paired with giggling. No giggling, please. Home alone giggling. Being the idiot child I was, I decided it was okay for me to go investigate. As soon as my feet hit the floor, all sounds stopped. Oh, that's creepy. I figured it was my imagination and went back upstairs to carry the on I aming my friends. Once I got upstairs, the footsteps in the giggling started again. Oh my god. This time I figured it was my dad playing a prank on me since he did this often. I ran back downstairs yelling this isn't funny. I looked out the window and when I saw his truck wasn't there, that's when I really started to panic. Oh my god. I grabbed the landline and ran into my bedroom and locked the door. That's when I heard heavy footsteps banging up the basement steps and the sound of someone banging on the basement door. No. My dad kept it locked since he was convinced someone was going to break in through the basement. Yeah, they are. I climbed under my bed and started calling my sisters for them to come get me. As soon as there was a break in the banging, I bolted out of my house and down the street. About five minutes later, my sister's boyfriend picked me up and he had me wait in the cars. He checked the house to make sure no one was in there. No one was. He decided to take me home with him until my dad was able to come and get me. I don't like that either. Since that day, my dad made a joke about having a man living in the crawl space in his room. Anytime, anything weird happens, the man in the crawl space is at fault for it. Like when my dad eats all the ice cream sandwiches and doesn't remember doing it. Thank you for reading my haunting slash ghost story, Allison. Oh, that was so scary. Giggling. Nobody wants giggling. You don't think about it until being by yourself and hearing giggling. Did I ever tell you that time that I was by myself in my house? This was before I got George, so I didn't have dogs. And I was sitting there trying to, I was trying to finish some writing. And so it was dead silent in the house and had been for like an hour straight. And I heard directly next to my ear a zipper zipped up. What? And I fucking, oh no, sorry, I had gotten George because I grabbed her leash and was like, come with me and we just walked out the door. I went to the dog park and then I called my friend Rob because I was just like, this is, you're the only person I can tell this to. It sounds so weird, but I just heard something. It was just, it wasn't in the distance. It was like someone zip their coat next to me. That's so creepy. And it was very clear. It wasn't like, oh, this, the, it sounded like a zipper. It was a zipper zipping, like a one of the plastic zippers on a 70s ski jacket. Yeah. Like that really, like how serial killers wear. Yes. Like Ed Kemper. Oh my God. You know fucking Ted Bundy has some sweet ass fucking 70s jackets. He probably on his 70s ski jacket left the ski lift. That was what to do because you'd be like, yeah, I went skiing over the winter break. Yeah. I was up at snowbird. How much money would one of those tags that says Ted Bundy's name on it go for? Oh, I would say in the $500,000 in this day and age. Well, these people who love serial killers so much weirdos. Oh my God, these people love what kind of monsters. Okay. Let's see. Okay. Yeah, there's something about being home alone and I don't know how you do that. Like, I don't like having a house where there's multiple rooms. Like I have to turn all the lights on when I'm alone. Yeah. Well, I swear it, the dog saw everything because I hear everything. George hears everything. Yeah. She knows when people are walking up the street from half a block away and starts barking. So that's like, if anything, it's just like a nice warning call. Fucking safe. Any zipper people come in, George is going to regulate. She didn't own that one though. She was like, what? We're leaving? I'm supposed to be scared of this? You do this all the time. Okay. Okay. Here we go. Grandpa is haunting me and that's okay. Hi, Karen, Georgia, Steven, cats and dogs. I've been listening to MFM for a while now. It's brought a change to my life I could have never expected. Thanks for helping my socially awkward self make new friends and gain some confidence in myself. Yay, girl. That's what we're talking about. Yeah, Brittany. Hell yeah. Okay. All right. When I was three years old, my grandpa died. He'd been in an accident at work and lived in a vegetative state for quite some time. Oh no. When I was born, that's where he was. Oh, God, that family. That's tough. It was an incredibly tough time for my family, but most of us made it out okay. A couple years later, I was at my grandma's house, a split level with the rec room downstairs and the kitchen right above it. While my grandma was in the kitchen, she could hear me carrying on a conversation through the vents. I love this. I know. When I came up for a snack, she asked me what I was doing down there. Talking to the man, I replied. My grandma asked me to describe what he looked like, but may have regretted that decision as I described my deceased grandfather to a T. I of course thought nothing of it and went about my child business. With your child briefcase. Yes. I am no memory of this, but I also don't have memories from before first grade, fair enough. A few things happened as I was growing up, but nothing too notable. A couple of things moved or fell, but it wasn't anything I was afraid of. Fast forward to having my first living boyfriend. He would wake up with scratches every now and then and made me nervous. I remember my aunt having a picture of her and her prom date on her dresser and his face was scratched out on the glass and on the picture. Whoa. It was weird. One morning, I remember waking up to just one of my hanging plants swaying, but not the other. Oh, I hate that. That's the worst. Oh, don't worry about it. That's just a wind in here. Oh, shit. It's not. There was an air circulation there as the window was closed and the heater was off, so it didn't make any sense. So I decided to try to make some contact. I grabbed a voice recorder and started asking questions. Okay, wait, here we go. Though these questions, I threw these questions I learned. It was my grandpa and he didn't like my boyfriend. He was right. We aren't together anymore. And that was it. Those were the only two questions that were answered. Holy shit. I felt less scared afterwards and I didn't have anything of note and I didn't have anything of note happen after that. I do remember the night I went into labor with my child. I felt an overwhelming sense of love and protection. I hadn't even gone into labor, but I felt like he was there and he knew. A couple of small things have happened since then, but they're not as exciting. But that's my ghost story and I'm happy I was able to share with everyone. Thank you for all you do. And you don't have to fuck politeness if the ghost is your grandpa who really just wants to love SSDGM Brittany. Yes. I love that he like physically scratched up her boyfriend and the aunt's photo. It's almost like I can't really tell you anything. If I tell you I don't like your boyfriend, you're just going to love him more because that's how it always works. But instead, I'm going to horror movie creep you out about your boyfriend. I'm going to make the boyfriend break up with you by scaring the ever loving shit out of him. Oh, it's so good. That's great. Okay. Give me a sign, grandpa. It just scratches up the face of your... It's just like crazy white eyes and child. What if he's like, I don't like your dog? Just scratches up your grandpa. You don't get to choose my life. Grandpa, you have all the... You're so finicky. Okay. Ghost and scary human in Silver Lake Cafe Theater. Dear team hard kill and precious, sweet kind gentle Stephen. Stephen, stop writing these. This is ridiculous, Stephen. I want to first let Karen know that I am from Sacramento and I love every time she shits on Sacramento because it truly is the armpit of California and Bakersfield is the butthole. Come on, everybody. There was someone that just wrote on Twitter, they wrote something like, why won't you come to Sacramento? It's like, I have explicitly stated how I feel about Sacramento. Last time in Orange County, despite me having fucking panic attacks there, was an act of God. Yeah. And then having that amazing show that was the best show. The Anna Heim show was incredible. Oh, so fun. Okay. Go. Anyhow. Yes. So we're not going to Sacramento. Anyways, buttholes. We absolutely should. I know. We should play the fairgrounds. That would be so cool. Dude, like the state fair. Yeah. Or we could do a live show in the How about Arden shopping center and just like clear some parked cars. I don't know what that is. I want to do a safe hair. I want to be between the pie eating contest and my favorite murder live and then like the pig eating content. No, I don't know. There's definitely a pig eating contest. It's like, if you can eat a live pig, you win a ribbon. Right. Yeah. You're weight and pig. You win your weight and pig if you can eat your weight and pig. And then it's like, well, I don't really want that anymore. Oh, wait. This is my favorite thing. Georgia texted me at like four in the morning. You up. Because you texted me. I woke up at four, of course, and I looked at my phone and you were you just texted the coffee was a mistake. Yes. At like midnight. And then I was like, you know, last time I told you I was up all night, you were like, text me. I'm up. Yes. So text you at four. Yeah. And I think I woke up like a half an hour later and it was so exciting because I just am it there's you're never lonelier than when you're up in the middle of the night by yourself. Oh my God. And it was like, I had a message waiting where you're like, Hey, you up. What's going on? But the pig thing was I said, I'm just laying here listening to the pig people. Yes. Book, which everyone needs to fucking download immediately because I fall asleep to it at night, even though it's like the best book ever. What's the title? It's called No Stone Unturned. It's about NecroSearch. I think I talked about it way in the beginning of the podcast, but it's NecroSearch who is that really awesome organization that finds clandestine graves. There's all these different kinds of people in it who are sciency and otherwise. And they're called the experts and they're called the pig people because they started burying pigs to see how decomposition worked and how it made graves look and how you could see how long a body was buried based on the foliage and based on the bugs and decomposition. So I listened to that to fall asleep and I'm like, why isn't this working? It's so crazy. It's so relaxing. I'm dreaming of pigs. No stone unturned. Listen to it. It's okay. Go. Sorry. No, no, no. Okay. So it's Sacramento. Sacramento. Plenty of shit on Sacramento. Then anyways, this is my guest story. The day after I graduated from college, I moved from Northern California straight to Los Angeles. Scary enough in and of itself. My boyfriend and I literally walked the graduation stage and a few hours later jumped into our U-Haul truck for the six hour drive. I love that. I love it. I did that. It took about a couple days after I graduated and my mom and I were like, goodbye, Orange County forever. There's nothing I love more than if something ended, you just fucking get in the car and go. There's no reason to sit there. Go hang out and like visit and do all this. It's just kind of like and on to the next one. Yeah, life's short. Okay. I was starry eyed as I exited on Vine Street and thought how amazing the city looked. It does from that weird little hill. I found a job quickly as a barista in a small theater cafe in hipster Silver Lake. I thought it was a very cool gig. The customers were semi-famous comedians and people I recognized on TV. I mean, there's nothing better. The cafe also hosted fun improv and comedy shows in their small black box theater. The Lyric. It's the Lyric. Oh, okay. I'm like hell bent on guessing what place this is. Yes. It's the Lyric. Kurt Braun, our friend, used to go in there all the time. The Lyric Hyperion. Yes. Yes. It's a great place. Sorry. Okay, perfect. We figured it out. The afternoons and night shows were fun and lively. However, I felt a sense of dread as all the customers and audience members left one by one and an aura of evil lurked in the cafe at night. That place is fucking absolutely haunted. Really? I know it. I've been in there. I've been in the the butt in the back room. It's terrifying. So, well, she's gonna, why don't I even talking during this? I don't know. No, you're fine. Adding weird shit. No, you're fine. Okay. Okay. Naively, I accepted to close the cafe by myself every night. Naively. That's one word for it. That meant I, a five foot 90 pound female with severe anxiety. He had to close the cafe at 1130. Oh, honey. Don't do it. I need this job. I know she said yes to it because then she's like, I don't have to talk to anyone while I close. I'll just sweep. It'll be no big deal. Leave me alone. Well, I was responsible for cleaning and locking up the cafe and theater, which would take about 45 minutes. The cafe was extremely quiet as I mopped the floors and suddenly I heard a roar of happy cheers, whistles and laughter that lasted approximately three seconds coming from the audience of the theater room. What? I dropped them up and peeked into the control room upstairs to see if there was still a show going on. I looked out of the window from the booth and saw a dim red light emitting from the back, from the small black box theater and a lone chair in the middle of the stage. No. I felt like a sinister being was watching up at me. Wait. No. From down on the stage and I quickly locked up without cleaning the rest of the cafe. A few days later, my coworker who had the morning shift texted me and confronted me that I should put the pepper shakers away properly and that I shouldn't put them on the floor again. Oh my God. Then he sent me a picture of the three pepper shakers lined up neatly on the floor in the middle of the cafe. That was impossible since I would never have moved those items on the floor. That's just weird. I thought he was pranking me. One time I had to cover the same coworker's morning shift even though I was scheduled to close that previous night. As I was closing for the night, I made sure the salt and pepper shakers were in the same exact spot on the kitchen table. The next day I opened the cafe at 6 a.m. and the pepper shakers were moved neatly aligned on the floor again in the front of the cafe even though I had made sure to place them properly that I before it freaked me out so much that I just sat on the outside patio waiting for the um waiting for the morning rush customers to come in. Last and scariest event that led me to quitting the job happened when I was closing the cafe again. I had taken the trash out by using the back entrance but it not locked up the locked locked up the door since it was one of the last things to do when closing. I continued to clean and count the till. When I looked up and saw a skinny and tall homeless man press his face into the glass of the entrance door. His eyes were round and dark and his squished face on the glass had this obtuse and evil smile. He then darted away as I remembered I didn't lock the back door. I quickly rushed to close the back gate and saw a tall dark figure rushing towards me through the gate screen. I then slam the door and locked it because of the front of the cafe had these huge glass panes as walls. I turned off all the lights in the cafe so that he could not see me and quickly hid in the corner of the store. This was already scary enough as I knew ghosts were probably haunting the theater too. No. I called my boyfriend to come pick me up a 30 minute drive and I quit the job. Holy shit. Fuck. It's been three years since I moved and I have a better job. I now have a higher standards when finding jobs in Los Angeles. One, make sure it has a parking lot and two, have co-workers close with you. Oh my god. Your tiny murder Reno Tracy. Oh my. I am going into Lyric Hyperion tomorrow and asking for ghost stories immediately. Yes. Oh my god. That's so scary. It's so scary and that idea that you have to race the guy to the back door is fucked. Remember when you were 20 and you thought you were fucking invincible and like you could close late at night alone and leave the door open and everything would be fine. Well, you were just kind of like us. It's fine. Yeah, living my life. Yeah. Oh my god, Tracy. That was a really good story. That was great. I think we should end on that one. Yeah, Steven. These were awesome. Good job, Steven. Those were really fun. Yeah. They were so fun to read. Oh my god. I love getting scared. We need to have like a side podcast of this. We could just keep doing our hometowns as this for a little while. I know. Yeah. Yeah. Yes. Yes, for sure. I love them. Listen, here's what we're going to say. Send in your hometowns. Listen, send in your hometowns. If you have spooky, scary stuff like that. We want to hear it. Okay. I feel like not even just spooky, scary, but like thrilling weird shit. Yes. You know what I mean? Like racing a guy to the doors. Great. That's great. I mean, near misses. Come on. Great. And also the thing of like, and then after that, she knew like, yeah, you have to, you can't just let somebody schedule you because they're cheap at the place and they only want to pay one person. Yeah. Like no, dude, it's two people or like I can't close at night. The salt and pepper shaker thing is the scariest thing to me. That's nuts. Because like if he hadn't sent anything to her about it, she wouldn't have done that was going on. That's so scary. It's so scary. It's like in a weird position and moved and like not supposed to be where it is. And it's just like inconspicuously placed. That's fucking terrifying. It's so scary. And we're back. So this episode was originally titled the Halloween special. But if we were naming it today based on the episode, maybe we would call it my two blouses. Oh, that would be a perfect one or Cat on Prozac, which would be tip of the hat to old Mimi or we'll name it podcast when Georgia talked about us coming together and having this baby that we named podcast. Oh my God. All right. Well, thanks for listening, guys. We appreciate it. And let's go back to 2017 to say goodbye. That was thrilling and scary and exciting. Yeah. Happy Halloween, everybody. Safe and sane. Do you know Vince and I are going to be Simon and Garfunkel? Well, you told me that, but then I thought you had a different one. No, we're going to be Simon and Garfunkel. I love that from that 70s one. It's so good. Yeah. Thanks for thanks guys. We you guys are the best, you guys. Yes. So fun. And thank you for everybody who sent those scary stories in. And I mean, there's a lot of writing taking place. You guys really you laid it all out for us. Thank you so much. Thank you. And stay sexy. And don't get murdered. Bye. Elvis. Yovanna cookie. Elvis. Elvis. Daddy. 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