Chelsea Handler On Dating Younger, Doing Drugs & Getting Your Life Unstuck

This is an iHeart podcast. Guaranteed human. Hey there, this is Josh from Stuff You Should Know with a message that could change your life. The Stuff You Should Know ThinkSpring podcast playlist is available now. Whether Spring has sprung in your neck of the woods yet or not, the Stuff You Should Know ThinkSpring playlist will make you want to get your overalls on, get outside, and get your hands in the dirt. You can get the Stuff You Should Know ThinkSpring playlist on the iHeart radio app, Apple podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. You're not somebody who believes in like somebody to grow old with or having a part like, I mean, yeah, sure, but there's a million, there's eight million of us. You can't think of yourself as like, oh, I'm alone. You have to think of yourself as like, I'm free. I'm free now to make every decision I want for myself. You can do everything you want. You're going to have a really good time. Thanks for watching, guys. Today's episode is brought to you by Boost Mobile. Today's guest is a fearless comedian, television host, seven times New York Times bestselling author. That's pretty fucking impressive, seven times. You can experience her sharp humor and radical honesty live on her high and mighty comedy tour, which is right now in Las Vegas. Please welcome Chelsea Handler to the IRL podcast today. Yay! Thank you for having me. Oh, is that an aura ring? Uh, no, I don't think so. This is just like a regular pretty ring? Yeah, that's a pretty ring. It doesn't give you any... No, I'm not into my aura. I don't want to know what's going on with my... Come on! Listen, you think I want to know what's going on with my sleep, with my metabolic rate, with my drinking? I need a break from my... Because every day is telling me I don't sleep enough and telling me I'm stressed. I don't need to monitor that. I'm good. Do you sleep? Yes, but sometimes if I drink too much, I wake up in the middle of the night, you know, like two in the morning you wake up and you've got it that, but I'm a good sleeper. You're good. I used to take sleeping pills a lot, so I had to kind of curb that because that's not good for you. I have so many questions about drugs today that I want to ask you about. But first, because you just came off the Critics Choice Award, and I was sitting home and I'm watching you, and I'm thinking to myself, I had like second hand, almost anxiety that maybe you don't even feel. Because when I see somebody hosting a show like that and you're looking at the audience, everybody in the audience looks nervous, like, holy shit, what is she going to say about me? You say, Leonardo DiCaprio, then the camera goes to then his face, and then there's like anxiety, nervousness. Do you feel that on the stage? Do you feel that going into it? You know what I'm saying? I feel the nervous energy. Yes, yes. I'm nervous to a degree, but I'm also confident in my capability to deliver. So I know I'm going to do it. Nerves are good. And it's not to be like, you know what I mean? You lean into the nerves. You lean into the nerves. And then also I have a couple sips of little tankarae and soda before I go on just to make sure I'm smooth. And then as soon as you get out there and the first joke is out, everybody kind of relaxes, even though they're probably scared. They're terrified. I was watching their close-ups watching. I know, I know. I would be scared if I was up there and you said my name, oh, shit. Yeah, but usually I'm hitting on them. You know what I mean? Usually it's a compliment. Like Benicio del Toro, I was telling him how much I was excited to see him in my room later that night. I am old. Last year it was Ray Fiennes. I like to use, you know, find someone in the audience to focus my sexual frustration on. I get that. I told you. This year was Benicio del Toro's year. How did you feel energy back from him? Yeah, I felt it from him, definitely. Does that translate sometimes after the joke? Yep, it does. Like later, do you get a call? Very often, it does. Yes. It's funny you mentioned that. Yes, it can. Did Benicio call you? No, no, no, no, no, no. Have you ever made a mistake and put that sexual energy out towards somebody and it's a, you find that like they're married or they're, it makes them a come? Well, I once, Ed Asner once, I told him, he said, this was very funny. I said, well, I wasn't me putting my sexual energy. I just said, I went up to him once and I said, oh my God, I have to tell you, you look exactly like my father. Like you are my television father. And he said, did your father want to fuck you? And then I went, no, my father didn't want to fuck me, but if you want to fuck me, I'll give you a big fat kiss. And then we kissed on the lips, but he was like 80. So that wasn't really, that wasn't really a threat to me sexually. You know what I mean? So like, I mean, what is that, what is that fearlessness? Cause there's no fear. There's no fear in that. So, but no, I don't, I don't know if it's fearlessness. I'm just bold. I don't think of myself as fearless. You think of yourself as bold. I think of myself as just being confident with who I am and saying, Have you always had been that way, had that? Yeah, I have. You might take that for granted, but that's not, not everybody, people yearn to have that or want more of that or, I want people to have what that too. You do. I want women to feel the way that I feel because I hear so much of my own podcast. I have an advice podcast on Dear Chelsea, but like, I have so many people always saying that to me. Like I wrote my most recent book last, this last year. I put out my most recent book and it was all for women. It was like, this is what I did and this is what I do and this is how I live my life. If you think that you want a life like mine, here are the guidelines like about how to be authentically who you are because there's nothing to apologize for when you are authentically who you are. You know, you don't be a cunt, but you know, be strong and be bold. Yeah. Yeah. Who taught you that? I don't, I don't know. I think I was just born with this. So it's a little bit unfair for me to even comment on because I haven't felt the other way. You know, there have been times in my life where I felt insecure or unsure of myself, but those were periods of time. You just came out of the womb. Like, I just kind of came out. Yeah, fuck you. Yeah, I was helping out with six kids. So I had to kind of start saying, fuck you, listen up. I'm over here. You know, I had to get my attention. Yeah, I have something to say. Yeah. And you're going to listen to me. Yeah, I did have something to say and I told them all to listen to me from a very early age, all my brothers and sisters. Did they? I was like, guys, follow my lead. I will take this family out of this situation. You're, I'm like, our parents are too hot messes. Listen to what I can. They'd be like, oh my God, who is this? Like my dad would be like, who do you think you are? And I'm like, watch, you're going to find out who I am. Well, what the hell is that? That's so crazy. You're born this way? I don't know. It's just my personality. And then what is the circumstances? So what's going on in the house? House is a mess. My father was a used car dealer, so there was used cars all throughout our driveway. It was like Sanford and Son. We had like car parts, tires. My dad would have like, he would come to school to pick me up and I would be too embarrassed to even get in the car. Like the door wouldn't open on the driver's side or the passenger side, so I'd have to climb over his lap to get in. Just embarrassing. We weren't poor, but we lived in a nice middle-class neighborhood in New Jersey, Livingston. But we weren't wealthy. Like we didn't have abundance. We just kind of got by. And my parents were either like had money or they were broke. It was like kind of touch and go. So what is this thing that you think that you're going to take your family to? Do you have a vision of I'm going to be this successful? Yeah. You know what you're going to be? Immediately when I was young, I was like, I'm going to be the father figure for this family. I was going to take care of all my brothers and sisters and all of their nieces and nephews and make sure that none of our kids that we had would ever feel the kind of like insecurity that we felt financially growing up. And I just knew I would and I have, I wanted to. And when my mom died, she's like, make sure you keep everything in order here in this family. And I was like, no problem, sister. I got you. Oh, yeah. That's really what she said. Yeah. Yeah. You should take care of your brother and your sister too, specifically out of the five, because the two were a little bit like, you know, quieter, meeker, not as ambitious. And she was like, I know you're going to be fine. And I just want you to take care of your brother and your sister. Make sure you take them with you. And I was like, okay. Got you. Got it. You had already planned on that, didn't you? Yeah. You had already planned on being a leader. Yeah. But it was more of a responsibility once my mom said it on her deathbed. You know what I mean? I'm not going to fuck that or I'm not going to fuck around with that. Yeah. Yeah. I don't need her coming back and like, you know. How's your relationship now with the rest of the crew? Well, well, that's funny you mentioned that. Not great because my sisters were always good, my sisters and my brother. Right now I'm having an issue with one of my brother's wives and vacationing with them. And I decided to take a family vacation like from them. Like I, for Christmas, I spent Christmas alone in COVID one year because I was in Canada and no one could come in and out. And I, it was the best Christmas of my life. I mean, I took mushrooms. I skied all day. By yourself. Yeah. Well, I had some friends, but I was alone for Christmas morning. I got up, I took some mushrooms, I read a book, I went skiing with some friends. And I had the best Christmas of my life. And usually I spend it with 20 family members. And I was like, hold on a second. I'm onto something here. And this is actually really nice. Isn't that crazy how your whole life you could think something supposed to be like the holidays are supposed to be this way. And then one year something happens and it forces you to do it different. And it opens up the whole world. Yeah. Possibly like, yeah, I was getting sick of listening to my brother's wife talk about Valen Vladimir Putin. She's like a very, really Russian, like a loyalist. She thinks Russia is the motherland for all of us and that we all should be delivered up to Russia at some point. So there's only so much. This is not going to go over well in the healing of your relationship. So this is a bullshit that I cannot listen to on a vacation that I'm financing. Do you know what I mean? I would rather not pay to listen to that. So this Christmas, is this was the Christmas that you did? No, I did it four Christmases ago and I'm stuck to it. So every Christmas this Christmas, I had a guy I'm seeing come and I had another friend up and I was with my friends, but no family. All right, guys, today's show is brought to you by our presenting sponsor, Hard Rock Bet, Florida Sportsbook. And listen, it is 20 time. That means there are some brackets to fill out. So join me in the volume bracket contest presented by Hard Rock Bet. 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New signups can double their winnings on their first 10 bets. Max $50. That means if you would have won $100, now you're going to win $200. So that's how you start March hot. So don't sit on the bench, download the Hard Rock Bet app today. And let's get the parlay started every day. Hey there. This is Josh from Stuff You Should Know with a message that could change your life. The Stuff You Should Know ThinkSpring podcast playlist is available now. Whether Spring has sprung in your neck of the woods yet or not, the Stuff You Should Know ThinkSpring playlist will make you want to get your overalls on, get outside, and get your hands in the dirt. You can get the Stuff You Should Know ThinkSpring playlist on the iHeart radio app, Apple podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. I love that you're seeing a guy. Yeah, he's a new man. Yeah. Like how new? New. A couple months. Oh, brand spanking now. You want to know the story? It's pretty cute. I do. Okay. I was in Vegas. I have a residency in Vegas, which you mentioned. Yes. Which by the way, I should clarify, I separate them in my High and Mighty tour. I have five shows left in Vegas this year. Wow. I do once a month. And then I start my High and Mighty tour next February as when, and I'm going to start off in DC and I'm doing like, you know, 60 cities. Wow. But and in the middle of that, you managed to meet a man. Yeah. That's right. Wow. So I like to combine work and, you know, play. So I was in Vegas. My friends, I take my friends out after my show. I do a residency at the Cosmo. We go out, we gamble. They lose all my money. It's like three grand. Okay. So the next night we go see Alana's at her show. She was incredible. And then I was like, I'm going back to the casino to win my money back. Girls, stay the fuck away from me. You're bad juju. I took my gay friend Terrence. He came with me. We sit down at a blackjack table. There's a guy in a cowboy hat and he's got thousands of dollars of chips and I was like, sir, I need to borrow a thousand dollars. I'm going to win and I'll pay you right back. So he gives me a thousand. I start winning. I pay him back his money plus interest. I pay myself back $3,000. The whole tables pop it. Like we are splitting twos against kings. We are playing like jackasses, but we're winning. And it was crazy. It was so much fun. And then I leave and I was like, you know, I was had smoke to join. I was drinking. I was tipsy. I was ready to go to bed. I leave and the next morning I get all these texts from the sky and I'm like, who is this? Who is this? My friend Terrence is like, that's that cowboy you were sitting next to. I'm like, the Republican from Texas. And he's like, Chelsea, he's not a fucking Republican from Texas. He must have told you that 15 times last night, every time you called him a Republican from Texas. And anyway, he did have a cowboy hat on. He had a cowboy hat on. Yeah. So that's his name now, by the way, cowboy. Anyway, so he started texting me saying, you know, let's meet up again. And I was like not really paying attention. And then finally he texted me a few more times and said something about, you know, you seem, I'm in the mood for some adventure in my life and you seem adventurous. Let me know when I can join you on one of your adventures. And I was just about to go to Antarctica on this trip. It was like a psychedelic conference on a boat going to Antarctica. So I mean, can you think of anything more exciting for me? Wow. I love the cold and I love psychedelics. Don't tell me you told the band to just come. So I sent him the link to the trip and he showed up in Antarctica. So, so you love it. That was a pretty, that was a pretty big move. I like big moves. You got to follow him up with more big moves, but that is good. He set the bar and I was like, okay, I'm interested. So he shows up and so you're in Antarctica. He shows up. Yes. Does he have a cowboy hat on? Yeah. That's his thing. It's kind of, it's kind of insane. Yeah. Yeah. He wears it. This could have went terribly bad. Well, there was 190 people on the boat. Okay. So I figured I was going with my girlfriend. She and I were sharing a room. This guy was coming on his own. I'm like, listen, either way, he's going to be a fun guy. If we don't have any chemistry, then there's a million other people on the boat to hook up with for him and for me. There were plenty of good looking people on that trip. I'm not going to go on a trip with bad looking people. Come on. You're such a planner. I know. I know. I plan everything around looks. So, so this is going well clearly. So yeah, it's cute. We're dating. Yeah. That's who I'm dating. The cowboy, but he's not a Republican and he's not from Texas. No. I love that for you. Thank you. And so is this like a goal? Like, do you care about relationships? Do you? Are you like a woman who like, no, I'm just somewhat, listen, some women really deeply care. Like they spend time to find their partner and they're all, you don't, you don't strike me as, you strike me as like, if it's real and it's cool, then good. If not, I'm fucking okay. Yeah. I'm not out seeking men. Yeah. That is not my agenda in life. I'm here for women and I'm here for myself. Like I'm now, I've never been, I mean, I'm sure there have been times in my life where I've been boy crazy about someone specific, but boy crazy in general is not my vibe. I've never been very thirsty for a man or a partner. So like, you've got to really kind of get my attention for me to pay attention in a serious way because otherwise it's a bunch of casual encounters. You know what I mean? Yeah. I like that. I like traveling a lot. I like hooking up with guys. I don't like to get too serious. I don't want someone in my space all the time. I just am not interested in that. It's such a different way to live. Nobody's ever that honest about that. First of all, my whole vibe is about freedom. I want freedom. Do you have children? I do, but they're older. Older, right. Good. They're cooked, done. Freedom. Like you, I love the idea that I don't have to check in with anybody about anything I do. I don't have to consider or consult with anyone if I want to get on a plane and go to Paris, which I will do in a moment's notice. I will go to Mallorca for a month and fuck off by myself. You know what I mean? I'll do all of that stuff. You're not somebody who believes in somebody to grow old with or having a part. I mean, yeah, sure, but there's a million. There's eight million of us. You can't think of yourself as like, oh, I'm alone. You have to think of yourself as like, I'm free. I'm free now to make every decision I want for myself. You can do everything you want. You're going to have a really good time. Am I going to do drugs like you? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I'll give you drugs too. Whatever you need. Drugs scare me also. I feel like such a scaredy cat today next to her. You usually seem like a real pussy next to me. You know what? Come on. And this is not even my personality. Normally I'm like the tough badass girl in the room. Your energy is so strong that I'm even feeling like the little... I feel so dainty. I feel like dainty and like... I like that I'm making you feel dainty. I'm the two of us. I love that for me. That's good. I love that for me. This might be my era. I might slide into like a dainty girl. And you might meet a man that's going to make you feel even daintier. You... How do you go... How does that work for you? I like to feel like a woman when I'm with a man. Like what does that mean though? Like I want them to see all of me and appreciate all of me. I mean they don't have to appreciate it but they have to see it. I'm not faking anything for anyone. I'm not pretending like I have a lot of things going on in my life and you got to be ready to move and hustle with me. Or if you want to see me you got to be ready to pop over. I'm not going out of my way right now for another person. They're going to go out of their way for me. And then if it becomes a serious relationship, of course I can be serious if I have to be. Can you be soft and dainty Chelsea? Yeah, I can be soft and dainty. Really? Yeah. I love being in love. Like I love the beginnings of relationships. Yeah. It's always so fun in the beginning. The flirting, the texting, the calling. And I love like when you're checking your phone to see if a guy texted that you're really into. And this guy's really sweet and special. And like he just keeps kind of making me like him more. You're like damn near in love. Well, I didn't say that. I feel it coming. I give it three months and you're like in love with this guy. Okay, I'll keep you posted. This is the energy you're giving. Yeah. And also his introduction was lovely. Yeah, I mean this story alone I have to see it through because the guy flew to Antarctica this evening. No, it's so good. It's like not even going to Long Beach. It's going to Antarctica. It's going to Antarctica. But does it ever end if you're this because you give me the I'm so I'm I'm free and you have to tell my terms and I'm in control and I'm strong and bossy energy. But ever do you get caught up in? I don't know the softness of that. Like so when you're checking your phone and then say he doesn't text, you don't get caught up ever in that kind of behavior. You know what I'm saying? I'm no, I can get girly and soft for sure. I have that part of me. Not needy. No, no, I'm not needy and I'm not insecure. If I check my phone and he hasn't texted me, I don't go like, no, you don't quiver and dive. I go, good, good. I like it. Like I like a little bit. I don't need a lot of that. I need, I like, I just am attracted to somebody who's got their shit together and has something going on that doesn't evolve me also. Yeah. You know? Do you think you'll ever, it's hard to say, right? Because you don't know who you're going to meet or how they're going to show up. Do you see yourself committing to like, I don't know, marriage or being with somebody? You said you've never been with somebody for that long. Like could you? I just think marriage is so outdated. Really? It's just a really silly idea. But you know, since I've bemoaned marriage my whole entire public life, I would be really hypocritical for me to get married, which means I'll probably do it. You know, at some point I might just go, okay, fuck it. I'm, you know, I'm 50 years old, so I might as well just go get married. What, you know, what could go wrong at this point? But I don't care about marriage. I don't care about that kind of like, I feel like that's a very patriarchal thing anyway. You're kind of like property. Yeah. I think it makes sense when you are building a family, if you're, if you're, if you want to have children and you want them to have the same name, if you're building that type of thing. But if you're 50 or older and your, your life is, you've done a great life for yourself and you can go to my orca whenever you want on any weekend. Maybe I can, I can understand then why it doesn't. Yeah. It's not, that's not something I attain to do. Yeah. It's not on the bucket list. Yeah. Yeah. It's going to be the fucking cowboy that's going to get you to do it. How could you imagine? No, no, he's very, he's much younger than me as well. Oh, yeah. How do you feel about that? I don't know. I don't really feel anything at first. I was like, I don't want to date young, you know, I dated. But you say much, what is much? He's 14 years younger than me. Oh. So he's 36 years old. But I, when I was young, 20s, 30s, I always dated older guys, 20s, like 20 years older than me. I was dated 40 year olds when I was 20, 50 year olds when I was 30. And then I was 40 and I'm like, I'm not dating fucking 60 year olds. Like I got to flip it and reverse it, you know? So now I'm heading in the opposite direction because I'm too hot to be dating a 65 year old. Let's be honest. I mean, I don't work this hard on myself and take such good care of myself so that I can't have fun and, you know, have a good time. So I don't, it just kind of, the minute I hung out with him that age thing went out the window. Didn't really, it's not like he's a boy. He's not, he's a man. Yeah. He wears cowboy hats. He's probably. Yeah, he's a cowboy. He's a cowboy, not from Texas. He's gonna love hearing this interview. He's gonna be like, oh, thanks for outing me. We're going to do a whole clip about you. It's going to be a whole little segment about him. I love that for you. I love, I love how free you are about, I don't know, especially women. They put so many things on us, what we should do, what we should look like, what our partnerships should look like, and you're like, fuck all of that. Yeah. Well, it's really annoying to be told what to do by men. I don't like that. I don't appreciate being told what to do. And, you know, part of me in the last, you know, ever since our election, like it kind of puts a real stain on straight guys, you know, like you guys didn't, they didn't stand up for us in any way. We got our Roe v. Wade overturned where there was a woman's march. Where was the men's march? Yeah. You know, people want to be allies to women, but they don't really do the thing. They don't go, they don't go to town for us. We have to go to town for ourselves as women. Like we have to stick together. And so this last election, even if you're not a Trump supporter, like guys were really kind of emblematic of what the problem is, you know, straight white guys specifically that are over the certain age, you're like, you need the fucking iPhone update. You need to get the update. Like it's, and it's not attractive. They kind of became unfuckable. So it was really refreshing a to meet someone that I could be attracted, that I'm attracted to. I really enjoy being attracted to someone. Yeah. Having flirty, you know, times with someone. I love, I like that a lot. I love that for you. Yeah. And sexy. And sexy time. Yeah. And that you went younger is good. Yeah, I think so. He's going to have to keep up. He is going to have to keep up. But he really, by the way, can't keep up with me. So yeah. So we'll see what happens. I'll keep you posted. What about the humor thing? How does that show up in like dating and relationship? This guy's actually pretty funny. So that's nice. Does he have to be? No. You don't have to be funny, but you have to get the joke. And you have to be sarcastic. Like I'm a sarcastic person. I was raised in a sarcastic family. Like there's a kind of a generation. I don't know which one it is that doesn't have sarcasm. Really? Like there's like, is it in millennia? No, no, it's not millennials. It's like the, what's the one after that? Or gen? Z, X. It's one of those. One of them that there's sarcasm is no good. And I'm like, no, no, I'm, Fuck you. I'm all about sarcasm, you know? Yeah. Yeah. And he's one of us. Yeah. He's sarcastic too. He's a sarcastic. He's much nicer than I am, but he's still sarcastic. But humor is not funny. Because humor could be, have I ever dated a funny guy? Do you date funny guys? I dated a comedian, Joe Coy. Oh, that's right. That's right. But that was more of like, I mean, you know, yeah, he was funny. He's funny. Yeah. But that's comedian funny. Like I'm not expecting that from regular guys. I'm not expecting them to entertain me, but it's nice when they are fucking funny. And the most important thing is just to get the joke. Yeah. To not be like in la la lands and not get it. Do you always feel pressure to be funny? No, not at all. I don't need to be funny. Because that sometimes comedians, like could I date a comedian guy? I think sometimes only one that doesn't feel like he has to be funny all the time because that could be fucking annoying. Yeah, totally. You know what I'm saying? Yeah, yeah, yeah. But I think for you, you show up in a room and it's like, there's Chelsea. I mean, I, yeah, I'm sure sometimes, you know, I went through a phase when I went to therapy, like when I was 40, I had like a little crisis and I, and I went to therapy and I realized like how much effort I, like how much pressure I feel to be that person. And I kind of just dismantled all of that and was like, started to become like a more authentic version of me. Like if I'm in a bad mood, I'm in a bad mood. And I usually stick to myself when I am. But if I don't need to make you laugh, I mean, I'm naturally just an outgoing kind of silly person. So I like to just have that vibe and energy. And I like people to feel something fun when they're around me. Want them to feel like they've been seen, they've been listened to, and that they had a good time. Yeah. So there's that, but that's not really pressure. That's just kind of who I am. Yeah. But you did have to dismantle some of that. Like, yeah, I had to stop performing. Yeah. And with it friends, there's no reason for that. I think that women probably, I think there's a certain amount of performance that women sometimes do in general. And so dismantling that, I think, should be something that everybody attempts to do in their life. Yeah, we're people pleasers. We want people to feel comfortable. We want everyone to have a good time. Yeah. Like if I'm out of five people over my house and two people are not talking to someone, I'm like, oh, I got to get over there. I got to make sure everyone feels like they're being talked to. Do you still do that or are you dismantling that? I'm trying to think when I have people over. No, I don't do that anymore. I just kind of let everything lay. And just let it all shake itself out. You know what I mean? Yeah, I'm in that little, I've transitioned into, I'm in the process of transitioning that now. Yeah. And every time I do it, I'm like, oh, I'm so proud of myself. I didn't try to help that person at all. Oh, really, really. You know what I mean? And does it, do you feel better about that? I love it. I still have some of the old pull where, oh, they probably, I don't want them to feel, but I have enough kind of like, I trust that I'm a good enough person that if I don't feel like, if I don't want to do that, or it doesn't serve me, then I'm just not going to do it. It's just like, give what you have. I always tell my mother the same thing, because my mother never dismantled that thing. She's always trying to like make sure everybody's, and I'm like, just give what you have and then stop giving. Because the problem is when you do that, if you don't have any boundaries or anything. And I'm very bad with boundaries as well. I can totally relate to that. I have no boundaries. You could get sucked dry. And then who wants that? Yeah, yeah. We deplete ourselves. Yeah. For sure. So like I get excited now, because I have turned that corner, when I notice it, and I'm like, oh, shit, I didn't, my pull was to want to go do something about that. And I didn't. Yeah. Or whatever, whatever. I just said, I'm in that, I can't wait till I'm all the way on the other side of that, when that pull doesn't even happen anymore. I like that for you. Good. Right? Yeah, that's how we grow up. I like it for me too. Yeah, women are ascending always. That's how I look at it. We're ascending. Like I'm 50. This is the best I've ever felt. I have more energy than I've ever had in my life. I mean, I take a shitload of peptides, so that probably has something to do with it. But my body, my health, my mind, I'm ascending. That's how I think of womanhood. Like we just get wiser and cooler, and we give less fucks as we get older. I mean, obviously, through our conversation, I've never given any fucks, according to the world. But I have. I do give fucks occasionally. A minimal amount of fucks. Sometimes, if I have to. But I try not to focus on that. I try and focus on what's going to make me. Like I want to be a good person. I want to be happy. And I want to be upbeat and inspire people to do the same. What was the last thing that you had to ascend to or out of? Ascend to. From. Yeah. From, from, from, from. I had a really kind of messy year last year, because I have this, I've been building a house in Los Angeles, and it's been an absolute disaster. And I, that really got me. The, it was, it's been going on and on and on for four years. And the first couple of years I was okay. And then last year was when it really just, I felt like I was being robbed, you know, like I had to hire a new contractor to fix the first contractor's work. And that, even though it was a house, I had no, the way I bounced around the world, like I had no, I felt so. No foundation. I had no, yeah, I felt so like, unmored. So every time I came to LA, I was staying with a friend or renting a house. And everyone was like, God, what is up with you? Like, how are you letting this affect you so badly? I'm like, because it's relentless. It's, it's so much money out the window and that's fine too. I don't care about material stuff. Like in the way I can work, I'm grateful to be able to work and earn the money that I need to make for this house. But it just got me so low. And then I went to my doctor and I was like, guys, I think I need something like an anti-depressant. I'm so, I feel hopeless. And then they tested my estrogen and they were like, you have, you feel this way because you have no testosterone and you have no estrogen. And then I was like, oh, and literally, literally 24 hours later after I put on my estrogen patch, I was a different person. So it was like, oh my God, I didn't even think about that. You know what I mean? I didn't think about that. What age I am and what my body's going through. So now I know the reason. You know what I mean? Like I wasn't, my coping mechanisms just failed me. And so I was crying on a regular basis about a house. And even friends are like, and they're like, Chelsea, get a grip. You have two other houses, you know? Like, like, what do you mean? I'm like, you just like, it was just relentless, the bills. One week after another, this is wrong. This is wrong. They did this wrong. So anyway, that was the thing to answer to CircleBack. You know, I don't want to be a wealthy person here bitching about a house, but here I am. And that brought me, that got me down. Because it wasn't the house. It was more than that. It's just the stability, you know, like. It was also the estrogen. Yeah, and the estrogen. Yeah, yeah. And yeah, so, but I came out of that when I got the proper dosages. So it's all important for all of us. Because when you feel hopeless, that's a bad state of mind. So the fact that you went in looking for antidepressants at that point. Yeah, I was going to go on like Lexapro or whatever, Wellbutrin or whatever the light one is. And then as soon as I took the estrogen, I'm like, I'm not taking Wellbutrin. I've got my estrogen now. You're fine. I'm like, give me some more. And it's working well. They're like, you have to take testosterone too. And I go, I don't know. I took testosterone a few years ago and it made my hair thin. I go, I don't, I'm not willing. I'm like, what is the testosterone for? They're like sex drive. And I'm like, well, I don't want to be, you know, bald and horny. Like that's not going to get me anywhere. But then I do take the testosterone and it does help. So that's good. Does it thin the hair still? No, my hair is actually good. My hair is doing well. Your hair looks great today. Thank you. Yeah. Thanks. And then boost the sex drive also. Yeah, it does. Yeah. It makes you want to have sex. Lots of it. Good thing you got a young boyfriend. Yeah, that's good. So many. Yeah. I think I have a cowboy. So he could keep up with you. Hey guys, support for this podcast is brought to you by Walden University. Have you ever thought to yourself, what if I could go after what I actually want? And I could really make a difference. Well, you are not alone. And this is exactly why I want to tell you about Walden University. For over 50 years, Walden has helped working adults like you get the W with the knowledge, the skills and everything you need to build the future that you want. And you can make a difference where it matters most. If you've been waiting for the right moment, this is it. Head to waldenu.edu and take that first step. Walden University set a course for change, certified to operate by SHIV. All right. We have some in real life questions. Should we go to our bowl? This is our IRL bowl. Okay. Do you want me to read it? Chelsea Handler. What's something that you used to be embarrassed about that you now own, cellulite? Were you really embarrassed? I don't imagine you to be embarrassed, but... I would. I didn't like the way like I have cellulite like around my knees for some reason. Yeah. On one leg. And I, yeah. And, but I don't give a shit anymore. I don't. I used to be embarrassed. I wouldn't wear shorts. I wouldn't wear, I would literally like, the backs of my legs are in better shape than the fronts of my legs. And then I'm like, fucking who cares about that? Yeah. So that's, that's... Do you really not, because I've heard you say that too before, like you, you embrace changing and growing and age and all that stuff, but no insecurities about any of it? Yes. Sure. Okay. Sometimes. Yes. But for the most part. Yeah. Sometimes you like, fucks, you fixate on something that you don't like about yourself, but not in the last few years. I've really just leaned into like being into, like I'm really into being strong. I'm really into working out. And that does just a total number on your brain and your body. And so like that, especially like out of as a 50 year old woman, like I started weightlifting when I was like 39 and it completely changed my life in terms of energy, in terms of power. I love skiing in the winter. I live in Canada in the winter and like keeping my body safe and injury free. So yeah. So I care about that a lot. I heard you went skiing recently, right? Yeah. I just came, I'm going, I just came from Whistler and I'm about to head back. I'm a little bit of a place, but you also in that little thing you just said, inspired me to get my assets at a gym too. Oh, great. Well, I'm glad I'm inspiring you at least. You're so inspiring to me today. I want to, I want to work out. You're a dainty little thing. I'm so dainty and delicate and I'm going to, the next phase of my life is going to be, and I'm going to flourish. Yes. You're going to flourish, blossom and ascend. And ascend. You're in your ascension. And I'm going to weight train. And I'm going to go to Mallorca. Yeah. I love all of this for me. Yeah. This is exciting. This is going to be an exciting year for you. I don't know. Don't be mad at the beginning of the year. I don't know about the drugs. It's okay. I'll talk to you about the drugs. I like microdosing LSD primarily and I love MDMA because that's just fun to kiss and make out on. It scares you? No. Drugs don't scare me. I have a very good, you listen, drugs are not for everyone. They are not, but they are for me. And my system responds very well to them. But no fears of like addiction or any of those things. No, I'm not like that. There's a lot of bad stories about drugs. Yeah. But I don't have that personality either. Like I love drinking, but I don't have to drink every day or I can take breaks. I don't, like, if I drink too much, it grosses me out. You know, like I like drugs, but I don't do them every day. I use them as enhancers to experiences and that's how I think of them. I'm not somebody who gets typically sloppy or wasted. I have, but I don't on a regular basis. You know, I'm not like that. I just, I know when it's time to go to bed. It's very important. Yeah. Yeah. So what is it then? It just, it enhances experience. Like when I go skiing, I'll take an LSD. But you're microdosing. Yeah. I microdose LSD. I have this great LSD dealer in Whistler, Canada. And I microdose that, but it just is like, it's kind of like an exclamation point on your day. Yeah. Like it enhances your skiing. It's beautiful. You're looking at the trees. You're looking at the views. You're taking it in rather than not. And for me, I liked those kinds of enhancements. I want to. But you're not high. You're not like. No, you're a little high. Like you're high, like happy and you're giggly. That kind of high. But not hallucinating. Right. No. Got it. Yeah. I had a really bad experience when I was a teenager. With what? It was mescaline. Oh, I don't like that. I don't like mescaline. And I don't like mescal. Not that those are related, but I just want to put that out there. I enjoy mescaline. I don't mind. Yeah. I don't, it's too smoky for me. It depends how it's mixed. So I had a really bad trip. I did it twice as a young teenager. The first time it was like hot in my school. It was like junior high school and people were doing mescaline. Yeah. But mescaline is tricky. I know. So I was hysterical laughing one time and I thought it was so funny. And then the second time I wanted to cut all my hair off and cry and scream and run down the block. It was horrible. And I think it scared me so bad. It scared me straight that I never, I would smoke weed and things like that. But I was always so afraid of having like a bad trip or a bad experience. Yeah. But mescaline, you've got to branch out. This is your new era. Mescaline is not, you know, don't face your drug experience on something that happened that many years ago anyway. No, it's just junior high school. Yeah. You need to be in like with safe people in a safe place and you start out with like a half of a micro dose. So that way you feel what it is. You probably wouldn't even feel anything. And then you take the other half and see how you like that. Sometimes I'll take three hits of acid. If I want to get crazy, you know, but usually I just micro dose one and then that's good for the day. And, you know, if I'm tired, I'll take an LSD that wakes me right up and puts me in a good mood. If I'm hungover, sometimes I'll take it. You've never seen this go bad for anyone like any of your girlfriends? Yeah, it just go badly for people, but not for me. And I don't really, yeah, I am. It's important to mention that drugs can go badly. But I also want to say, listen, I gave a couple in Mallorca, they were walking outside my house, they were an 80-something year old couple. They were celebrating their 50th wedding anniversary. I gave them two hits of LSD. I gave them my kayaks. They went out on a kayak at around 9.30 at night. They came back 7.30 in the morning. They had parked their, these were 80 years. I had, first of all, I got their health history before I gave them LSD. I made sure nobody had a heart attack or a stroke. Okay, very responsible. Very responsible. And I said, here's some LSD. I know you guys are celebrating your 50th anniversary. This is my gift to you. You don't have to take it if you don't like it or you don't want it, throw it in the ocean. Like, I just want you to know this is available to you. If you think you're having a good night tonight, it's only going to get better. They came back at 7.30 in the morning, these two 84 or 85 year old couple came back. The kayaks pull up in front of my house at 7.30 in the morning. I'm on my terrace working out. I see the kayak. I had forgotten about this couple. I forgot I even gave this couple LSD. And I'm like, wait, I see this kayak coming towards my house. I'm like, oh my God, is that the couple? And they're waving at me. They come upstairs and the man comes up to me and puts his hand underneath my chin. And he said, darling, when you told us that our night would get better than it was already, I didn't believe you. He said, but now I do. He's like, we sat in an alcove all night long. Like, there are all these coves on the way out to this where I live. And he said, we talked about all of our favorite memories in the last 50 years. We talked about our children. We talked about the first time we met. He's like, you gave us the night of our lives. I was in tears. I was like, oh my God, I'm healing the world. And then the woman and then the woman looked at me, put her hand out and said, do you have any more LSD? And then I gave them the rest of, yeah. The other addicts at 85. But yeah, you don't get addicted to stuff like LSD. I mean, you can, but that's not really very common. Right. And you gave them like a little, like a micro dose. Yeah. Micro dose. Micro dose. Yeah. Yeah. Unbelievable. So there you go. You really know how to sell it. I know. I just want people to have great time. And no, and no bad, let's be responsible. I mean, one of the bad experiences. There's been some times where like, not with LSD, no one's ever had a bad experience. Even my sisters have taken that and they're fine. They laughed their asses off. It makes you pretty giggly too. But the only time I've seen people have a bad experience is, or a bad, an averse reaction is with MDMA, which is really surprising because I love MDMA. But we were in Vegas a few months ago and my girl, two girlfriends took it, like 10 of us took it and two of them just didn't have a good. They were in their heads and they were getting paranoid. And I was like, what? MDMA doesn't do that. So they shouldn't be taking drugs. Yeah. And now they know. Now they will never do it again. I didn't give it to them either. By the way, that wasn't me that night. Hey guys, you ever signed up for a phone plan thinking, wow, what a great price. And then a few months later, it's like surprise, your bill is higher. We hate that with boost mobile. You pay $25 a month forever. That's unlimited talk, text and data starting at just $25 a month. There's no price hikes, there's no contract. And this is forever. Plus boost mobile is now a legit nationwide 5g network. They invested billions building 5g towers across the country. So what you need to do is visit boost mobile.com or head to your local boost store today and get unlimited talk, text and data for $25 a month forever. 5g speeds not available in all areas. After 30 gigabytes, customers may experience slower speeds. Customers will pay $25 a month as long as they remain active on the boost unlimited All right. Tell me, well, we have to do a Q&A and then I mean, we have to do the question. Of course you get a drug question. I mean, to me, LSD is the easiest one because it's not like LSD from the 70s or like you're not, you're not hallucinating. It's a just a nice punctuation to your day and you can function on it. I could go through a bit, you know, a day of meetings on it, but I wouldn't recommend that as a first time user. If you can get a good clean, you know, your source is obviously very important, but if you can get a good clean LSD microdose and they have it now sprays, everyone has everything, you know, it sprays now. If you can get something like that and just take a day to do it with someone you care about or you love or a friend that you trust, you know, it would be with someone and do something that involves nature. Just to introduce yourself to that idea and philosophy because I feel like when you do drugs for the first time, you kind of want to set them up. You want to set it up for how you're going to use it in your life. And when you have a great first experience, you are going to feel safe for the other times that you want to use them. I mean, she's like a drug coach. I'm a shaman. This sports. I don't know why I have so much fear around that even talking about that because I do, I know people who have suffered with addiction. I'm sure you do. Yeah, but this is, these aren't addictive. We're not talking about cocaine and heroin and fucking cigarettes. You know what I mean? Cigarettes are worse. Cigarette. I smoked a cigarette last night. They are worse. Yeah, that's why I'm fucking coughing. I can't smoke cigarettes. I don't know why I do it. Why do you do it? Just every once in a while, someone has a cigarette and I was with Walton Goggins last night and he was smoking and I thought, that looks good. I'll have one too. And now? Now, I've been coughing. There is a repr- Yeah, I have bad lungs, so I can't really smoke. I can't even smoke weed. I get sick every time. Where do people get when they come on this tour? Like, what's the experience? It's a high and mighty tour. The high and mighty tour is all about all of my adventures, all of my craziness, so many adventures, all of my travels around the world, all of the drugs that I've taken in different countries and the men that I found along the way and a lot of family like drama stuff. Like me ex-communicating my family, me taking my life back and not deciding to not bring my family with me on every vacation. They haven't really earned the right to be there. No, some of them have, but some of them have not. They're gonna be so pissed off. No, they've already heard me talking about this for months. They know. They're so used to it. The message is out. I mean, I would imagine anybody in your life has to know that they're susceptible to the conversation and a podcast, right? Yeah, exactly. Calboy should know it too. Okay, as we wrap, our in real life questions. In real life, what are you most proud of yourself for? I'm standing up for things that are unjust, that have nothing to do with me. Standing up for other people is what I find most valuable. Then that you're most proud of. That I'm proud of. Yeah, yeah. In real life, what's a habit or a belief that you're still struggling to change or struggling with? A habit or a belief that I'm struggling to change. I wish I weren't so judgmental about men's clothing. You know, shoes, if I see the wrong shoe or belt, I can get icked pretty quickly. I could see that. I have that fear for myself as well. Food, eating. I don't think I, actually, I don't want to lose my judgment about people who chew with their mouth open, but our mouths open. You want to hold on to that? Yeah, I'm going to hold on to that because that's, it's not, it's not appropriate. Nobody wants to see that. But I want to be less judgmental towards men who are trying. You know, I want to have more patience. Do you ever think about your legacy? No, I do not. Never ever. My legacy. No, I don't know what that's going to be. You haven't thought about it ever? Not even in one of your trips, like in the, when I'm gone, this is what people will think. I mean, they're just going to know that I lived out loud. You know, that's my legacy that I was just going for it. Like I totally go for it. You have gone for it since birth. I have. You said that. You've been for it since birth. Yeah. I used to, anything that I'm scared of, I have to do. That's like a rule of mind. If I'm fearful, I want to conquer that fear. I once went to the Amazon. I'm so scared of snakes. I have a phobia of snakes. I went to the Amazon and I had a guide and I was like, bring me to an anaconda. I have to face my fears. I did this documentary for Netflix where I did ayahuasca. So I, so that was in Peru too, but I went two months earlier just because I was like, well, if we're going to Peru, there's going to be snakes. I need to face my fear. I just want to get over this. And the guy explained to me, you can't just find fucking anacondas in the middle of the night when you want to. No. No. I was like, really? I thought they were everywhere down here. But if I do have a fear, I want to face it. I conquer them because I don't want to live like that. I don't want to be fearful. Yeah. That's something to be proud about. Yeah. Kind of in itself. Did that work out? Or you never saw the snake or you never? No, we never saw the snake. I'm still scaricing. You still scare the snakes. I'm still scaricing. Yeah, they're gross. They're so gross. They are kind of gross. Are you a religious person? No. No, not at all. No. Spiritual? Yeah. Connection to God? Yeah. I mean, yeah, I would say a connection to whatever is going on that we don't know about. You call it the universe? Yeah. I feel like when you put out good vibes, the vibes come back your way. I feel like good energy begets good energy. I feel like there's a time and a place for sadness and obviously seriousness. Yeah. But overall, to be optimistic and to be solution-oriented, and if something doesn't go your way, to stop fucking fixating on that. It's okay if something doesn't go your way. Just be like water around a rock. You just keep flowing and flowing and find another way to get where you're going. And when we resist obstacles instead of embrace them, we put everything in our growth on hold because you're stuck. So you believe in flow state? Yeah. Like being in flow state. Yes. Totally. Always. Yeah. And set the tone for like, you set the vibe. When I walk out and host the Critics Choice Awards, I'm setting the vibe. When I come in here, I want to set the vibe. I want everyone to know I'm going to say hello, then I'm going to be high energy and that we're going to have a good time. Yeah. You know? You're great. Like I want everyone, I want that to be, that's my thing. Yeah. You're good at it too. Thank you. Yeah. You're really good at it. So do you pray? Sometimes. I think I prayed the other day before the Critics Choice Awards. Yeah, I did. So who are you praying to? Like when you- My mom and my brother that are dead. You're talking to ancestors. Well, I'm talking to my mom or my dad. I mean, or not my dad, I don't want to talk to him, but my mom and my brother and God, I just, I got on my knees and I was like, I just, please let me shine tonight. Let me bring people joy and happiness and laughter and let it be a huge success and help me accomplish that. So I don't know who I'm praying to and it's sporadic. I mean, I'm not praying all the time, but I do like wake up every day and write in my gratitude journal and remind myself of all the great things in my life so that, you know, I think that's a great, that's a, when you, when you need a shift change, I think that's a great thing that people do that, you know, it sounds corny, but if you're not feeling it and you wake up and write down five things that you are grateful for, you immediately change your frequency. There's a book called Letting Go by David Hawking's and I read this book once a year and it really breaks down the science behind your energy and when you are in a successful state of mind versus a lower vibration and how that impacts others and your own success. It's cool. Let it go. Letting go. Letting go. Yeah, it's amazing. It's pretty metaphysical and it's intense. It's a hard read, but it's worth it. And you read it every year. I read it once a year. I'm going to go get it. Okay. You've inspired many thoughts today for me, so thank you for that. Okay, I'm going to send it to you. You don't have to get it. I'm going to send you. You are? Okay, fine. And I'm going to come to my orca. Yeah. And we're going to figure that out. So my, usually last question, that's why I asked you because I wasn't sure, is if God would have sent you a text right now today, what would it say? Good girl. Oh, Chelsea, good girl. Thanks guys. How fun. This is awesome. This is Chelsea Handler in real life. Hey guys, thanks for watching. Make sure you subscribe, like, comment and check out all of the other episodes we have on Angie Martinez's IRL podcast. Hey there, this is Josh from Stuff You Should Know with a message that could change your life. The Stuff You Should Know ThinkSpring podcast playlist is available now. 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