Welcome Natasha to the Get Upsessed podcast. We're honored to have you. I know you had an amazing season with your golden bachelor show. And we're honored to have you on Get Upsessed. Welcome. I am excited to be here with you both today. Natasha Hardy is in the house looking for love in all the right places. We are going to dive deep into that from the golden bachelor to bachelor in paradise. She has been weaving her way into reality TV for the past few years. And my mind is spinning. I am addicted to reality TV. So I am super excited. Natasha is here. The first thing that came to mind and I'm a woman of a certain age. I am in my fifties and what does a woman who I'm going to guess about 59 years old. What does a woman of about 59, 60, she's sitting back thinking about her life. What is a woman about 59 or 60 think she's thinking to herself. I think I want to jump on a reality show. I want to meet the love of my life on TV and fight 20 other women for the rose. So I can find the love of my life. Like what was in your mind when you decided to join the Golden Bachelor on its first season? Just tell us about that, like where you were in that mindset. First of all, somebody jumped in my DMs and said, I love your page. And I think that you should apply for the Golden Bachelor. I was thinking, what is that? I was taking a tech class to try to become a help desk tech in technology, the computer world. My background is in the arts. So right up my alley, I thought it was great because at least the hard work is done. They vetted the guy for the most part. They vet him. He's not mentally ill. He's not the serial killer. Thinking, OK, I can do this. It'll be safe at the time. I was friends with someone who's in the industry. She works in TV and she was like, let me make sure all of this stuff is legitimate before you start moving forward with it. There was a lot of support in that process that made me say, hey, let me get out here. Sometimes you hear the strangest love stories from people. I thought I would do this and I didn't think nothing of it and bam, I found the love in my life. So I thought, why not? Is this what you're telling every woman in America to do to go through this process so the studio can vet him, the producers can better to make sure he's not crazy, make sure he is mentally stable, make sure he's not a serial killer. Should every woman in America do this? Is this how we can filter the system? The message is make sure before you get serious with someone that you crossed all your T's and dotted all your eyes. Just like you hear ridiculous love stories, people getting crazy situations with someone who's a nutcake. Make sure you vet people do the work. You do diligence. I find a lot of times we get caught up in and like I heard on social media, somebody said, we getting you all effed up. And I was like, yes, I like somebody. And it's like, I like cheeseburgers, but I can't eat them all the time. Do your due diligence. I find it a lot of times when I was around 50, I hadn't been married. I wasn't with a partner. I wasn't with anyone. I got into a relationship and I was just like, I'm going to be with this person. I'm going to marry them. I was in this time is running out mindset and I need to get this notch in my belt of being married. There were so many things that didn't match up. And in three months, I knew that, but it took me three years to say. This is it. So that's what I'm saying. Do your due diligence and your gut is resource. Listen to your gut. Don't second guess yourself. You know what's best for you. And I really feel like oftentimes settle at this stage of life because it's all I need to put up with all this because otherwise I'm a big one myself. Nobody else is coming and that's a lie. I don't believe it. I'm not attractive. Nobody will find me attractive. All the men are looking for younger women at this age. Women do settle and you hit that on the nose. The numbers rising in terms of gray divorces, there are women that are finding themselves single that perhaps don't want to be single. And getting into that dating game again, you are a role model for women of a certain age, 50s, 60s and beyond showing their power in dating at any age and showing their sexiness. You can look sexy and strong at any age. I love that. How can we teach women? How can we be that? Because I'm going to tell you, when I woke up this morning, I didn't feel sexy at all. You didn't? No, not at all. It's a state of mind. And what are we buying into? OK, we got to look at who is painting the picture that we're buying into. What is sexy? Sexy for me at 62 is not what sexy was at 25, 35, 45, even 55. Sexy for me has evolved from this kind of physical thing. And it's more about my confidence, my personality, my charisma, how I show up for people, my disposition, my aura. That's what makes me sexy. It's not the fact that I have wrinkles. My waistline might be a little wider or I can't wear what I wore when I was younger. That's not, it feels like society makes us believe we're less than because we are out of childbearing years or because we don't have children or because we are not married or in a relationship. Society has set a bar for us. We get to redefine who we are once we understand our power. Women over 50 have a 15 trillion dollar spending power in this country alone. How many women I tell that to? I was like, I didn't know that because we don't know our power, our spending power and money talks in this country. There's very little research done on women after 50. This is what I've been studying for the last seven years. And a lot of times I go to research specific things and they have no documentation because nobody cares enough to do research. We got to make sure that we understand as you age, you're not declining. You're evolving, transitioning to a heightened state of consciousness, of wisdom, of virility, of insight. We're so busy focused on what we're losing. We're not focused on what we're gaining. We're more focused on all my waistline or I'm gaining weight. Pro-aging, which is what I call myself. But Natasha, do you think that is coming from women? Or are society setting this unrealistic expectation? Like you mentioned, the buying power of women over 50, this trillion dollar industry, is it telling someone this is what's wrong? This is sexy. What you're wearing is not sexy. You need to buy this to be sexy. You need to buy the spanks to be sexy. You need to buy this new lifting product, this injection. Do you think it's the society telling you what you should be spending your money on and then you'll be sexy? I don't necessarily think society is telling us to spend our money on it. We are being guided in that direction. I do feel that society paints a picture for us from when we're very young to be a good girl. Don't offend anyone. Don't be rude. Don't cause problems. Be a good wife. Be a good mother. Have children for you to stand up for yourself or fight back is a no no because you've always been told to be a good girl and to not make waves or cause trouble or be a problem. We lose our sense of self in that. And then we're always thinking, what's the right thing for? Commercial comes on and you see, this is what you should look like. You're still in that mindset of being a good girl and you should look like this to appeal to men. I think what I notice is women want relationships at this stage. Many of us are not willing to sacrifice ourselves for the relationship. We're all sacrificed our moral compass or self-esteem or put up with all the stuff we did when we were younger. I'd rather be happy alone than be miserable with someone else. So what are your non-negotiables? What is Natasha Hardy's? Non-negotiables while dating? Definitely a big one for me is to have emotional intelligence. I need somebody who's emotional, intelligent, who can have a conversation, hold a conversation and be honest. I'm all about loyalty, honesty, have emotional intelligence and show that you're interested in me. It was just on another interview the other day. And when I was on Bachelor in Paradise, I looked on social media. One woman said, why would you choose someone who didn't choose you? She was referring to the fact that Gary didn't choose me for the date, but I gave him a rose at the end of the evening. She doesn't realize a lot of stuff is cut out, but I spent a day and a half with this man who didn't ask me anything about myself. Narcissist. Didn't ask me anything about myself, told me all about the things that he wanted to do, what he was up to, he's retired. He doesn't have anybody to time with to share his retirement with. And this is the conversation back and forth constantly. When I met up with Gary, he was asking me questions. He was looking me in the eye. He was like, really? When I spoke, you could see he was actively listening to what I was saying. I took a chance and gave him my rose, hoping I would get to know him better. And that just didn't happen. But you have to take a chance. What am I? I must keep being in a relationship with somebody or who's not interested in me talking about themselves the whole time. But doesn't have anything interesting to talk about. Right there shows you that someone who's not emotional, intelligent, they're not present, they're not communicating, they're not compassionate, sensitive. There's no reciprocity in that experience. And one shot on television showed I had asked him a question and then he said, what about you? He didn't ask me a question. He was just like, and what about you? I asked him. And then it's just we get to pay attention to this stuff. A lot of times I feel like women will feel like, oh my God, I got to grab on this person and just be like, I got it. At least someone's talking to me. If you don't value yourself, no one's going to value you. If you don't see yourself as beautiful, no one's going to see you as beautiful or sexy or confident. It's up to you. We have to do the work. What I find is that men are not just the ones who are the ones who are criminals, criminals, criminals, criminals, criminals, criminals, criminals, criminals, criminals criminals criminals criminals criminals criminals criminals criminals criminals criminals criminals criminals criminals criminals criminals criminals criminals criminals criminals criminals criminals criminals criminals criminals criminals criminals criminals criminals criminals criminals criminals criminals criminals criminals criminals criminals criminals criminals criminals criminals criminals criminals criminals criminals criminals criminals criminals criminals criminals criminals criminals criminals of them, I think I've been on a dating site once or twice. Setting your profile up is a job. And then when I listen to dating coaches on social media, they say that dating sites, I feel like the best way to meet someone is through organic occurrences, go to places, go to events, meet people, interact, mingle. I feel very strongly about that. I had a friend that loved these dating sites. The partner she has now, she met through one of her friends. All the guys she met over dating sites were A-holes. Go on a network television reality TV show. Natasha, what do you think about dating younger or older for women? Being a cougar, do you approve of that? And the reverse, we often see men dating younger women. I don't see younger men as much dating older women. I would like to see more of that. Listen, at the end of the day, why do we have to be called cougars? Because we're dating younger men. We're not called anything because they're dating younger women. I'll make it up, Natasha. I will tell you, I've dated someone as young as 17 years younger than I am. I dated somebody 12 years younger than I am. I'm all for it. I don't look my age. Never done getting up in my years. I'm starting to realize a lot of these terms are very ageism. You don't look your age. What's the 62? Oh, you look good for your age. What does that mean? I know 40 year olds that look like they've been dragged through the mud. I love when someone doesn't card me. When I used to work in a liquor store, they said if the person doesn't look 80, you got to card them. Sorry, Joel. Sorry. Don't feel offended. I used to feel offended all the time. I don't feel offended now. I think dating younger, I'm all for it. And I'm sure women are all for it. If you want to say, I don't look 62. If somebody in their 50s want to date me, I'm all for it. Let's do it. Somebody in their 40s, I'm good. I don't think I would date anybody in their 30s though. Natasha, you already noticed you're very sexy. You're very beautiful. There's an energy about you that is just gorgeous. This outer and inner with your essence. How do you help women feel that way? One of my businesses, I have a vegan cafe and I'll compliment a woman on something. And they respond with putting themselves down. Yeah, I just got up this morning and rushed out. They put themselves down the moment I compliment them on their glasses, hair accessories, eyes, whatever it is. And they put themselves down and I connect with that. How do you help women to start to appreciate someone else complimenting them, seeing something beautiful in them? The number one thing I start with when I work with women is mindset. You can say all the beautiful, wonderful, complimentary things you want to someone, but if their inner dialogue is negativity, if they are putting themselves down, if they don't see themselves as beautiful, they're not going to be able to receive it. I had a conversation with someone earlier today. I can't compete with the conversations people have going on in their heads. You, it's them, it's the work they got to do with themselves. They don't have the confidence. They don't see themselves as beautiful. They have to do the work on themselves. Self, so mindset shift, self-acceptance, self-love, self-trust. Those are major components that women get to have. Women question themselves a lot because they are always told they should be doing this right or this good or be this when you know something is wrong. You shouldn't do that. We lose our sense of self, our intuition, our power of standing in our power or for what we believe in because there's conversation going on in our minds about what we should be doing and how we shouldn't offend people. So how do you come back? The first of all, the person got to want to make a difference, shift their mindset. They got to want to have a different lifestyle. They got to want to do the work and work on themselves. And it really begins with me. Thank you for the compliment. You said I was sexy. I got energy. It's the inside out. I work it. I know when I stand in my power and demonstrate to other women that this is what life can be about. You can be sexy, fun, edgy. You can be direct. You can speak your mind. You can tell the truth. You can do all of that and still be attractive. At this age, a lot of people have this old getting old mindset. I don't think about getting old. I think about just each day, take it as it comes. What's great about today? What's great about me? What's great about life? These are wonderful opportunities. Every day I get up, I have a chance to do something fantastic in the world. What is it going to be? I love it. Seriously. That's amazing. Yeah. Can you tell us a little bit about your coaching program? And anyone that wants to learn a little bit more about Natasha, we'll have all the information linked in our show notes. Make sure you check out Natasha. Follow her on Instagram and her YouTube channel. My company's name is Hearty Life. I'm Natasha Hearty from Hearty Life because you deserve a hearty life. My coaching program is a group program I do with women and we go through a series of mindset shifts, boundary setting, planning for this stage of life. Because a lot of times we have a plan from elementary school to go to high school to go to college and what job we're going to get and all of that. We have these plans. No one plans for the second season of their life. I am now creating a membership model so that we can have more people come in on the membership model. In the membership model, I will meet with the group once, twice a month, once to coach on a particular topic, once where we have a seat so somebody might bring to the table. How do I receive compliments or how do I become more confident Natasha? And then we'll coach through that. The other thing is I'm building a library, skincare, lymphatic drainage. Take care of your hair, dress fashionably in this stage of life. Makeup tips, fitness stuff, opportunities. I just bought myself a folding bike. Traveling, how to travel, financial concerns because in this stage of life, women have a lot of financial concerns. People are coming to them to borrow money and all of that stuff. So they need to learn how to say no. They need to also learn how to get their finances together if they've spent all their money and they have to start from scratch. That's your expertise, Liga. So you have that at this stage of life and relationships and dating. Sometimes people are very concerned about relationships with friends, family, coworkers, the communities they're involved with. And sometimes in this process, people drop out of our lives very hurtful because some of these people we've had in our life for decades, some of them since we were children, the ways begin to part and it's very difficult. Some of your friendships are like relatives and putting apart boundaries for your relatives and understanding that boundaries aren't for no one else but you. The membership is launching in November. Guess what? I am doing coaching calls, connection calls with people who go to the link in my bio on Instagram, YouTube and TikTok and book a call with me. I'm doing free calls with folks that we sit down and we talk about them. No pitchy trying to sell them anything just talking because a lot of times women in this stage of life are not listened to. Everyone's always coming to take from them, but most of the time people are not giving back to them. So we get to see your emotional intelligence and action with you actively listening. We are obsessed with Natasha Hardy. I definitely recommend everybody checking Natasha Hardy. In the meantime, get obsessed with this podcast. Get obsessed with everything we are doing here, especially with our favorite Natasha Hardy. In the meantime, I encourage you to rate, review, subscribe and share this podcast with everybody you know. Until we meet again, keep doing the things you're doing and keep inspiring others. Get obsessed with your life. If you liked the show, please take a moment to rate, review and subscribe. It really does help the show to grow. Thank you for listening.
