Star Trek Anniversary

Hey! We're going to be in Lincoln, California. That's basically Sacramento. The home of Abraham Lincoln. Abraham Lincoln is not from there, but that is basically Sacramento. On March 14th, we'll be there at the Thunder Valley Casino. Then, May 8th, right here in Los Angeles, our hometown. We're at the Netflix Comedy Festival. He got it. Netflix is a joke at the YouTube Theater. Go to badfriendspod.com for those tickets. That's badfriendspod.com. Comedy. The last frontier. These are the voyages of the starship Bad Friends Its mission to explore strange new bits To seek out weirdos, wild stories and bad decisions And to boldly go where no sane podcast, HR department or legal team has gone before Hey! Hey! You two are bad friends Who are these two idiots? A white dude and an Asian dude. You two are disgusting. You two are something. We're bad friends. Whoa. Don't. Is mine facing the right way? Yeah, it is. What do you have makeup on? Because I'm going out after. She's going bowling. Wait, who are you going bowling with? Her friend. Some friends. Yeah, yeah. You going out on a date? No, just friends. You're going out on a date. No. Yeah, you're fidgety. I know you're going out on a date. Who's the guy? No one. Welcome back to Bad Friends. The one that she likes is in Hawaii. Oh. Right? The one that you like is in Hawaii. No. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Stop. Wow. You have a crush on him. That's all he says. Rudy. Rudy. Rudy. Hawaii and Rudy. You're on a different wavelength than I am, dude. I don't know if I can do it. You're overwhelming me. Welcome back to Bad Friends. Yes. I'm a Ferengi. And this one is a Cardinal Fassian. Where are the dilithium crystals? Where are they, Rudy? Where are they? Where are your boyfriends? Where are your BBC boyfriends? BBC Welcome back to Bad Friends. It's our Sixth year anniversary. You want to go inside my black hole? Welcome to my black hole Welcome, there's poo in there Dude, six years we've been doing this fun show It's fun And bringing you guys fun Star Wars, bitch Star Wars, bitch Don't do it I'm Darth I'm Darth What a night to have It's a Star Trek six year anniversary We've got Rudy Jules over here Beam me down, dog There it is, hell yeah Yeah, dude The variation of the shocker Shocker I got it He's got it Did you see Bad Bunny or what? Whoa Whoa What's yours say? Did you see Bad Bunny? I saw Bad Bunny You know what? Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey Hey, hey, hey, hey You better sing at least one song from him. Such a good performance. I saw Turning Point. I did. It was great. I was on true social, baby. It was, you know what, Kevin Spacey did a little number He wore a tuxedo, he did a little dance He had a top hat You know what else, John Voight did a scene from Midnight Cowboy Yeah, it was great It was awesome, dude I saw Turning Point While a lot of Americans were watching Bad Bunny ruin the halftime show Bobby and I were tuned in to Turning Point To see Kid Rock Rip the stage What's up America Sick of these liberal turds and that lady that took eighth in American Idol she was great too she was great dude Bad Bunny ripped he ripped dude he's a hot guy he's a good actor too you know my favorite thing about the Bad Bunny thing that made me laugh they had a marketplace a little convenience store in the background and it said we accept EBT I was like that's so funny it was in neon did you not see that it was so funny EBT accepted at the Bad Bunny halftime show. Super Bowl was one of the worst Super Bowls I think I've ever seen in my entire life. I didn't know who played. Who won? Nobody. Nobody won. Everyone lost. It was bullshit. Seahawks. Who won? Seattle did win. They did? Yeah. Well, congratulations to Seattle. Who cares? I don't care. Shitty Super Bowl. Yeah. It was boring. What I'm more interested in right now is how bad I feel about last night. I boned you. I boned you bad. I boned him good. I feel bad. He fucked me. Well, I feel... Okay, so here's... Can I tell? Yeah. Go ahead. No we went to the premiere of Goat Our new animated movie That Bobby and I play the announcers Chuck and Rusty Please go see Goat It's out February 13th Yep I think Yeah two days ago Two days ago It's out in the theater still Please go see it Yeah you finished it right Yeah you went home halfway through They didn't even sit us in the same theater That's what pissed me off I was alone right Sitting there But big bag of popcorn All the celebrities Like far away from me You guys could have taken us you guys both have plus ones and you could have taken it there was so many no we couldn't have did you like it? I loved it I actually thought it was awesome but I called you afterwards your voice came out first in the beginning of the movie I could hear your voice in the background and I was like but you got the biggest pops and one of the guys' sons said to me at the after party we have friends that have kids that showed up and i was like did you like the movie and he goes yeah and i said did you like the announcers he goes uh yeah and i said and i said which one did you like more do you like the big one or the little one and he goes i like the little one i said good that's good that's good because he plays the little tiny one you ripped it's it honestly it's it's cute and sweet and funny yeah i hope people go see it it's a fun animated movie bring your bring the way the way he fucked me was so then saturday night uh well time out first of all that night after the movie we're supposed to go to a little after get together nick kroll all these people that are in the movie go i call him i say where are you are you lost you not know where to go it's literally in the same complex i'm already at home i'm in bed yeah i was already in bed he bailed halfway through the movie i was alone one of the women working there goes your friend left i said where did he go she goes i think home he got in his driver car and he left yeah but then we were told the next night was like a wrap party but it was a screening no it wasn't during the day was i know but this is what he says to me this lying bastard okay well it's not a lie it's what i was told it's what i was told they were like screenings all day and don't come spank my boy spank shout out to spank spank goes don't need to go it's a screening anyway i get a call going you know a car's picking you up at 6 15 i go where are we going he goes you're going to the wrap party so i'm gonna go right and then right the car arrives i'm talking to andrew and it goes it's not a wrap party dude it's another screening right so i went up to the driver and i gave him some money i go you know what you can go home i don't want to go to the screening he leaves and then like 30 minutes later he calls me like oh no it is a rap party and i'm like i'm gone sorry i didn't go yeah i stayed at home i watched pluribus have you seen that show i haven't finished oh bro it's great i like the ending wow it's good no but i but bobby goes i gave that guy 200 bucks and he i made him leave i was like well you don't want to go to a rap party anyway because it's just a bunch of drunk people standing around i wanted to go should have gone i told you to go dude you fucked me what are you talking about you could have called your manager and said can i get another car and they would have sent you i'm not yet no see no i'll tell you why it could have been fixed it's not it can't be fixed right because those drivers were specifically they know what to do you know right you know that right is that your mom as a that's insane dude that's your mom she's yellow dude put the wait what is that in star trek world what is that called who is that woman she's playing this is the locker room for the guys oh oh oh we just boot up oh yeah jerk material i get it that's insane that's your mom hey can i have that frame it that is actually amazing yeah your mom's tits are that big actually yeah what they are okay okay But with that face, would you? Oh, yeah With that face Without? Yeah, okay Rudy! Be good I am good No, you're not You know what's so funny? When you put on face makeup like this When you put on face paint Like you're going out for the night Yeah I know it's because she's going on a little secret date Yeah You are I'm just hanging out with friends No, you look like a colorful coconut I'm like You're like when Tom Hanks painted the coconut To have sex with it in that fucking The Island movie Yeah Wilson Yeah, Wilson your new nickname is Wilson everybody in line call Rudy Wilson Wilson oh that was so good that's you rude that's cute where are you going after, did you go bowling? yeah, Highland Park oh you're going to Highland Park bowl? fantastic she's been going out all the time now now what time does she get home to the house? sometimes 4 in the morning gross did you see it on the ring or whatever? on your camera? No, he just hears me because he's also awake. Well, he's playing. He's playing games. Yeah, I wander around in the kitchen. But when she comes home, do you interrogate at all? Are you ever like, what's been going on? She immediately starts yelling. You do? You get mad? Like, where'd you go? Yeah. Where'd you go? I have every right to go out! I go out! You know what I mean? I'm like, all right, relax. God, dude. Jesus Christ. No, because he starts saying... That tone! Yeah. He starts saying, why are you out so late? Why are you out so late? Because I can be out late. No, no, no. Yeah, yeah. I'm concerned. Would you? Yes. For the morning? For the morning. Yeah, yeah. I'm concerned. Here's the difference. You can do whatever you want. Doesn't mean you should or have to. So what are you doing out at that late? Well, the last time I just went to the beach with friends. I don't like that. And then I go, who did you go to the beach with? He goes, my friend Hillary. And then pause. Live. And then a bunch of guys. Yeah, a bunch of guys. At 4 a.m.? Yeah. At 4 a.m., yeah. Let me tell you something. My mom used to say to me, nothing good happens after 2 a.m. You should come home. So what are you doing between 2 and 4 a.m.? Something bad is going on. You smoked weed. See? Smoking weed. Are you smoking weed now? Just a little bit. Gross. You're a bad kid. It's just weed? No. What do you mean it's just weed? Just a little bit. It's just meth. It's just crack. I'm not doing other stuff. That's how it starts with the weed. It starts with the weed. Why are you so shocked? Marijuana has been labeled as a gateway drug. The gateway drug. Statistically, most people who use hard drugs use marijuana first, pound for pound. Marijuana and adolescent brain development because the teenage brain is still developing until the mid-20s, which you're not in your mid-20s. Do you want tough love? No. I'll give you tough love. No. Yeah, yeah. No. You do it again, you're out of the house. Out of the house! You're out of the house. I got a nipple piercing too. What the fuck? What? Fuck! Oh my god. No, you didn't. what yeah that's unbelievable dude you're really pissing us off man what are you goth now no i'm not it's just fun no it's not fun it's gross it's gross oh my god you know what she's gonna she's gonna have tattoos on her face from now neck tattoos on the way yeah yeah face tattoos on the way. Teardrops for the dead homies on the way. I can't believe you did that. It wasn't painful. No, that's not what we're talking about. Who'd you get it with? Your friend? Hillary. Yeah, where? At a mall? No, at the tattoo shop. Bad people hang out in those places, man! Is that where you get your weed? No! You get your kit pierced and a bottle of weed. Yeah. Guy who doesn't know about weed. Did you get a bottle of weed and your titty pierced at the tattoo shop. Did you get a carafe of weed? Who gave you that sinister weed? Who gave it to you? Did you snort it? They put it in their ass. Yeah, they do. They'll put it right in their ass. They rub it on their eyes. It goes straight to the brain. Where are you buying the weed? I'm not buying. Oh, you have a drug dealer boyfriend! She's got a drug dealer boyfriend. Dracula perfect name Raul. Raul. Huh? Raul. Probably listens to Bad Bunny. Yeah. Raul. Yeah. Oh, what else do you do at night? That's it. Piercing your tit. You're smoking fucking pot. Drugs. At the beach. And by the way, Hillary's not a real person. No, you probably hasn't met her. I've never heard of Hillary. Oh, my God. Call her right now. I've never even seen or heard of her. Call Hillary right now. Yeah, who is Hillary? Put her on the line. You met her. Oh, shut up. Is it Hillary Clinton? Oh, it is? It's Hillary Clinton. Oh, you mean one of Epstein's friends? Yeah. Hillary Hilldog? The sinister suit wearer? Answer, Hillary. If she doesn't answer, there's no Hillary. She's not answering. No, it doesn't matter. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. Because you're calling your mom. Yeah. And she's not picking up the phone. Yeah, you put your mom, a random girl's face on the fucking screen. Let me leave a voice message. When you have finished recording, you may hang up. Hillary. Excuse me. We heard about the marijuana. The weed and. Yeah, the breast is being pierced. And the boob piercing. Yeah. We need to call back. Call back. ASAP. Call back ASAP. We need to talk to you about Jesus Christ. Yes, the Lord and Savior. The Lord and Savior, right. We need to talk about discipline. That's right. Right. And if you want to get scared straight, we'll scare you straight. I scare you real straight pal Yeah pal Listen here You know what Don call Jules ever again Don ever call her Yeah yeah Don ever call her again She not your friend Yeah yeah Bad influence Right now the path of life you living is like scoliosis It's all crooked. Yeah. You want to get straightened out, pal? Yeah. You got to come see us, the bad friends. And let me tell you something. Yeah, tell him. Let me tell you something. If I catch you listening to Bad Bunny, if I catch you listening to... You're going down. All right. She better call back. She better call back. To New World now. We're living in a time. Tell us, Messiah. We're living in a time when someone like Rudy. Oh, wise one. Flippantly, flippantly talks about drugs and tit pierce stuff. And her friends, imagine what they're doing when they're not joking around. Ha ha. This is funny because ha ha podcast. I'm being real. Let's be real. Yeah. You're playing the devil's game. You're playing the devil's game. And you're playing right into his hand. Yeah, like this. Right? Rudy. The devil's game. He whispers in your ear. Rudy. Okay. Yeah, you're playing the devil's game. You are. Yes, you are. You are. Okay. How? Yeah. We just smoke sometimes. Wait a minute. Did you get your boob pierced when you were stoned on marijuana or drunk on alcohol? No. Liar. You were sober? Yeah. Come 100%. 100%. No. 100%. So you went to the tattoo parlor. You walked in. You lifted your shirt up. You put your tit out. And you let some creepy devil man. Was it a man or woman that did it? A guy. Oh. Wait, wait. I'm gone. Right? You're 14. I'm 24. I'm 24. You're 24. Still, some man slid a needle through your breast in front of other people, and you think, fun time Saturday night. Yeah, I don't mind showing my boobs. Oh, my God. How did he hold it? What? How did he hold it? He just did that, and then he stuck the needle. Oh, my God. He hates women. Yes, yes, yes. He's a misogynist. He's a misogynist. Yeah, yeah. Any guy out there that's willing to deform a woman's breast is a misogynist. And this man is- I gave him consent. Okay. Yeah, because you felt pressure because of a power struggle. Hillary made you do it. Hillary, Hillary! No, he did it! Yes, you kept saying, are you sure? No, I got bored. All the cool people are doing it. Yep. No. Do you want to be a real American? Bobby? No! I want to be a real American. Right? Do you want to be a real American? Oh, say can you see? Sit down. Let me tell you. Does Hillary have her breast pierced? No, she didn't. Okay, so does anyone in the circle have their boob pierced? No, just me. Why are you the ringleader? Because I got bored, so I told her, let's go to the tattoo shop. Get a hobby. Get a hobby. Batminton. Yeah, yeah. Play jacks Curling Cards Yeah something Darts Shuffleboard There's so many other Nack knacky things you can do Yeah but this is fun too No that's not Are you gonna get a tattoo She is Hmm Let me guess A pentagram Yep No Yep What is the devil's game Devil's game I want like a my whole back What do you want on your whole back I don't know but something also on my chest Like a tribal Oh my god What Hawaii Hawaii's got her man Yeah it's Hawaii It's not Hawaii It's Bobby Yeah yeah No All your aunts I used to date one of them Correct Yeah Right She's got tribal tattoos Yeah And it made her crazy That's why I'm no longer with her That's right You're right There Yeah That's Kalilah That's Kalilah Yeah yeah That's Kalilah right there That was a picture of Kalilah When they were going out When she was going out That was when she was heavy Have you seen the news Oh Hillary Hillary Answer. Get it. I'm excited. Hillary, take it to Bobby and take it to Andrew, wants to talk to you. Oh, no. Hillary. Yes. What are you doing? I'm home. You sound like you're on drugs. Are you on drugs, Hillary? I don't do drugs. Oh, you don't smoke marijuana, Hillary. You don't smoke marijuana? Never heard of that in my life. Really? All right, so when Jules is smoking it, she does it herself? Yeah, I do it by myself. hillary yes do you smoke drugs with jewels sometimes the ones you lie to her did you influence her no i stopped it did you influence her to smoke marijuana hillary are you are you dating some pothead that drives a souped up honda civic is that what you're doing and he's going around town with a loud muffler is that the guy that you're hooking up with taking her to Tattoo pilers getting her tits pierced? Did you convince her to get her titty pierced? I did not. Who else got their tit pierced in the group? Me. Okay, Hillary. Hillary. Give it to me. Hillary. It's Uncle Bob. I'm livid right now. Did you see... Can I talk for a second? I'm pissed. I'm pissed too, dude. I'm so pissed. Did you see Avatar fire an ash? You didn't? No. Well, instead of going to the beach and doing drugs, why don't you go watch that movie? I'm just giving you options of what else you can do. You know what I mean? Right? Well, it was just a girl thing. Did you see Melania? Great documentary. Great documentary. Is it not great? Oh, say can you see? Wait, you should go watch Melania. Melania. It's very good. It teaches you about work ethic. It teaches you about principles. And immigration. And immigration. It doesn't say immigration is big. Yeah, yeah. And also shoes. Shoes. You like shoes, Hillary? Yeah. Okay, good. So she got her boob pierced too. You lied. Yeah. You also got your tit pierced, Hillary? No, I'm just kidding. I didn't. No, okay. Funny joke. That's a funny joke. I got a tattoo instead. What tattoo? What's a tattoo? A fairy. A fairy. Oh, you mean a satanic symbol? Yeah, it's a satanic symbol. Yeah, yeah. Because fairies, look up fairies' satanic symbol. You're into Smurfs as well? Smurfs are satanic as well. Smurfs are also satanic. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. A fairy has a There is no singular official fairy satanic symbol But Horned goat Headed baphomet Symbol of the church of satan It's a trickster fairy Is it Clay Aiken? He's a fairy too Right? Yeah yeah yeah It could be Ricky Martin He was on the halftime show Yeah yeah yeah Acorns. I think investing is cool. Here's why it's important. All right? Everybody has to have their goals, and everybody's goals are going to be unique and different. And everybody thinks, oh, I'm not going to get into investing unless I have X amount of dollars. You can start with nothing. I'm telling you, Acorns is a smart way to give your money a chance to grow. You can start with like $100. It doesn't matter. You start with anything. It's a smart way. Like you said, Acorns grows with you whether you're just starting out or thinking about settling down. 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Ready with a ride to 602 kilometers and virtually up to 212 euros per month. Book now your proofread on Ford.nl. Ready, set, Ford. Okay, she has to go. Okay, she has to go. Bye. Bye, Hillary. Thanks for the drugs. We are so concerned. You're hanging out with drug addicts and influencers who think that they're going to be famous online. Yeah. So they're piercing their tits. They're getting tattoos. Do any of your friends have these tattoos? These are satanic symbols. No, no. This looks familiar to me, pal. Time's running out on you guys. If you pick out one of those tattoos, we'll all three get them at the same time. Really? It's got to be one of those, though. The one in the top right looks like the medical symbol for like an EMT. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We should do a lip tattoo. What is that? Oh, what do you want to say? Yeah, what do you want to say? Yeah. I don't know. Exactly. Yeah, you got to figure it out. You baby girl. Oh, that's a terrible fucking idea. Yeah. Whoa. A little stegosaurus. Thought about that. wild. I don't like that. You know what's really funny? My friend Hillary Wait, what does it say? Kissed by you, killed by you. My friend Hillary 40 years later, Grandma, what's that saying? Grandma, what does that say on your lip? This says I heart BBC. Daddy, that one says Daddy. That's awful. That's awful. My friend Hillary, who you guys met when we had Guy Fieri here, has Flavortown inside of her lip. Well, she was made to do that. Yeah. That was her thing. No, but honestly. What's favorite song? You need to get educated, girl. Into American culture. You need to stop with the tit piercings and get educated. Yeah, stop watching Euphoria. That's a bad influence, Euphoria. But that's the problem. That's what they're doing. That's what they're doing, watching Euphoria. What are they watching? And they're probably watching Heated Rivalry. Heated Rivalry, yeah, yeah, yeah. Just gay stuff. I love Heated Rivalry. Yeah, you would. You also love it, too. No, he doesn't. I did love it. He did like it. It's gay propaganda. I did love it. Yeah, yeah. The ah, the buts. Look at the song in the middle of the show. Gay is cool. Gay is the way. Be gay. Hey, hey, hey. That's the middle of the show. They just break out into song. I didn't see that part. Really? Yeah. Oh. Yeah. I saw it. I saw it a couple times. I never saw it. Gay is cool. Gay is the way. Gay is the way. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's gay propaganda. What was that church when he goes, celibacy is cool? What is that? Celibacy is cool. All the kids were like chanting it? Yeah. Don't have sex. Just cast checks. I don't find that video. Celibacy is cool. Is that celibacy? Yeah. Virginity is cool. Yeah, virginity is cool. Virginity is cool. Let's watch that. Come on. Ready? Come on. Virginity is cool. Come on. Come on. Virginity is cool. Virginity is cool They do look cool Imagine this is looping in your head as you're hanging yourself Virginity is cool Virginity is cool And you know what? Virginity is cool And here's why Yeah. Because you know what virgins don't do? Pierce their tits and smoke pot at the beach. Amen. Like a fucking deviant, like a devil person, like a little devil person. And that's what the devil does. He goes, come on, Rudy. Come to the beach with your tits pierced and smoke pot by the water. I'm telling you, we are disappointed in you as our daughter. It really bugs me because we wanted you to blossom into like a young woman with goals. I'm going to school. Bullshit. Where? She is going to school. I'm doing my master's. But tell them what you're... What are you mastering? Yeah. Environmental health. Fake. It's fake. Fake. Oh, this tree is sick. Is that what you're doing? Look at this planet. It's all gray and falling apart. Fake. That's fake shit. Fake shit. It is really boring, but... Yeah, but go get them. Go get something that's real. These titanic plates are shifting. What do we do? Nothing. Nothing. We can't do shit. If they're going to shift, when they shift. Am I not right? Earthquakes. You can't stop it. Quakes are going to quake. Quake be quaking. Yeah. El Nino's coming back next year. And you can't do shit about it. There's nothing you can do about it. Are you going to fix that? I'm not going to fix it. Okay, so... What's the fucking... What do you do with your master's? I don't know. I'm still learning. It's my first week. You're learning about it? It's my first week. You just picked it on a chart? I don't know. What did you do? How did you pick? You don't know anything about it. Yeah. Dude. Okay, the first day of class, what do they say? I don't even know Well fuck we're done You're not going to class are you I am No where are you going I am going to class She's going to the beach Yeah Smoking weed with her tits pierced at the beach You pig Pig Let me say something to you How many classes are you taking How many classes are required There's three classes Three classes what are they called One is occupational health Bullshit One is microbiome That's cool Yes. Something also risk. Something also risk? Yeah. Good. I'm glad you're paying attention. To something risk, a key word to something you want to know what's going on. Something also risk. Occupational something risk. Occupational hazardous risk. Something like that. I'm telling you, honestly. That's a master you need. That is a master's. The microbiology is cool. Give me something you learned in microbiology Prions in your head they make you really sick and can be technically called virus And like the pregnant woman that likes to eat, that has cravings of like dirt. Wait a minute. Pregnant women that want to eat dirt? Like craves dirt? That's because they also have some kind of prions. Pregnant women crave dirt? Look at Fancy's losing his shit. Where were you two years ago? Go into all. Hold on. Let me see. Zoom in. Craving dirt during pregnancy, a condition known as PICA. Oh. Eating disorder involving urges to consume non-food items like soil, clay ice, laundry starch. This is nutritional deficiencies such as iron or zinc. So this is real. So what do you call it? Prion? That's what my professor said. Well, it's PICA. We say it's known as PICA. Primarily linked to deficiency. So women are out there just eating dirt. Yeah. They crave it. They want to eat it. Yeah, we see. This is why we have... Do you crave dirt? No. I'm not pregnant. Okay. Yeah, you better fucking up. Andrea, did your wife crave dirt? Yeah, I didn't know what it was. I thought it was going to be crazy. Why are you going to the garden every day, sweetie? There's no flowers out there. Your wife was doing laundry and eating laundry at the same time while your daughter was being born. Wow. Wait, did your wife have any crazy urges when she was pregnant? Not really, no. But eating dirt is unbelievable. Except for that. Yeah. She was eating a lot of dirt. Well, your house is made of clay, so that does work out. That's pretty good. Six-year bad-iversary, by the way. And I want to say thank you to all the fans. Let's take two seconds to say thank you to all the fans for your loyalty, for your fanship. We appreciate you. We love you. You've been along for the ride. And here's something interesting. Look at this. My life would not be the way it is now without my fans. No, it's the greatest. Thank you so much for your support, and we really love you. So thank you. I'm being genuine. I am too. And look, we met this idiot when she was 18 years old. Yeah. She was 18. She came on the show as your liaison to make sure that you didn't go get cigarettes or go to food, and you did anyway. I did anyway. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And here we are six years later with the crew, added McCone, and added Carlos. Actually, the original crew was us and fans. Yep. Do you remember the first episode you did? Yeah, I was so scared. You were scared, yeah. God, it's so weird. But at the time, no one was listening, though. We were at the old place. Old studio. Over there. At the old studio. That old fucking studio. Rudy's first appearance on Bad Friends. Rudy Giuliana, Rudy Jules. First appeared on the Bad Friends podcast early 2020. Recurring guest of a beloved figure early in the show's run. She frequently appeared in many of the earliest episodes. Her presence became established as a staple rather than a single formal guest debut episode. Even AI knows how important you are to the show. But does AI know you're piercing your tits, smoking pot by the beach? Probably not. It's going to be in your wiki. I'll tell you that right now. Significance. Yeah. What did you got? What is that? Yeah. Show us. What is that? Uh-oh. Uh-oh. Incoming messages. Incoming messages. Incoming. Hey. Hey. Just want to say congratulations. Hello. to Andrew and Bobby on six years of bad friends. Look at how tight my face is in this small little hood. What? Not as small as Bobby's eyes. Hello, bad friends. Congratulations on six years. Y'all are my favorite podcast to go on. Thank you to Carlos, Andrew, Rudy, Fancy, and McCone. And no thank you to Bobby. Just kidding. Thank you. Bobby is awesome. But I was just doing a playful roast Hey motherfuckers I want to wish you the Bad Friends Podcast Congratulations She's still alive Andrew buddy I love you Give me my booty call next week And also Bobby Lee Look at that dildo on the back of our headboard A brand new year A brand new me And I'm forgiven And everything like that But you're a stupid ice motherfucker. God damn. Love you guys. I'll fucking kill you, lady. She really does it. Bobby, Andrew, congratulations. Wow. Six years of bad friends. Trying to figure out a gift to get you that really kind of celebrates who you are and just how unique bad friends is. I think this hits it. There you go. Happy six year anniversary. Oh, my God. Congratulations on achieving this amazing marathon. Is he detained? You all know this by now. This is the one podcast on the whole planet. Joe Rogan, who? As far as I know, I haven't experienced a single episode yet. So, let's keep it going and thank you for being a bad friend. I love him. I miss him. I was able to go 30 seconds without making fun of Andrew. Amazing. Oh, you love this guy. Damn. hey Santino and Bobby shy guy uh I just wanted to wish you guys uh a congratulations six years of bad friends uh way to go guys big congrats and this is a little off topic but um when I was a kid my dad used to duct tape me to the basement wall and throw darts at me so have a great happy anniversary of the episode. Freaks. Wow. Amazing. Guys. Blessing. It's a blessing. Yeah. How do you feel? Good. Six years later. Six years later now. Let's talk about what this did for your life, Bad Friends. Yeah. Changed your life. I know you made a list of 20 things, so go ahead. Go ahead. Yeah, I got 25. Yeah, yeah. I don't know. You said 25. Oh, really? She said 20. Oh, wow. Let's start with you. 20 things. How bad does it help you and help your life? Very good. Friends. Yeah. Family. What? It's a list. It's helping you. Can I help? No, I'll just say one. Go ahead. I think it made me really confident. I think it made me not think too much about what people think it made me feel just like it's okay if I have an accent it's okay if I I don't know sound stupid it's it's okay and I feel like it really helped me just be comfortable with myself oh my god I think that's that really is true I think you've become more yourself than anything that almost made me cry since the day that you cleaned that knife i think something clicked no because i saw her perform in the main room yeah comedy store yeah i know i'm being real yeah and i slid in the back and i saw jewels on stage and she was so natural she was doing it yeah yeah she was on stage i mean that's a legendary huge intimidating room oh my god right and and like if you think six years ago there's no way she'd been able to do that no yeah yeah bad friends changed all of our lives but changed your life truly you like became your own confident you know a little I know on the edge not everyone goes I don't talk to anybody six years later I'm piercing my tits but I am proud that you become your own and also this takes we want to take the opportunity to tell you that it's time time for you to move out yeah we're ready so you have until Friday so you're going to leave out you're going to move out of the house what about the dogs? don't worry about the dogs going to go to the pound no well half of them are going to put to sleep right and then some of them are going to take it to the pound I know actually there's one guy named Tran who's going to take it one of the dogs Tron. Tron. Yeah. Bing Tron. Tron is Tron. He has a restaurant. Yeah. Yeah. Tron Tron. I don't know what he's going to do with the dog, but anyway. Tron Tron. That's Remy. Remy is going to go to Tron. Yeah. Yeah. And so out by Friday. Yeah. And all of it. I want my car back. Yeah. Car back. Okay. Yeah. Yeah. Dude. You really have had a great run. It's a good run. It's been nice, but you're done. How about you? What? How about you? My experience of six years? Yeah. Incredible. Shopify! You know what? We have an online business. Without Shopify, we have nothing. We have zero. We have nil. That's right. We love Shopify. We do. And you can get started with your own design studio with hundreds of ready-to-use templates. Shopify helps you build a beautiful online store that matches your brand style. We've been selling with Shopify for a long time now. They're so fully integrated. They make everything seamless and simple. And if you haven't heard about Shopify, where are you living? 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Sign up for your $1 per month trial at Shopify.com slash badfriends. Go to Shopify.com slash badfriends. That is Shopify.com slash badfriends. Marsmen. I love Marsmen because I need more testosterone. Your T is dropping. Yeah. All tea. I have two of them. I need more. Oh, there's only two teas left? Yes. Oh, TT. Yeah, TT. TT. Going to the new year. Hey, man, we want to turn the clock back a little bit. That's why we have natural testosterone support here from Mars Men. It's a dietary supplement and it has so much good stuff. So there's no synthetics, no needles, and no dependency. It's like hitting the reset button on your hormone factory as well because, by the way, this has boosted me in the bedroom a little bit, a little bit excited. I love it, dude. Mars Men gives you the same benefits of optimized testosterone, energy, strength, focus, without shutting your body down. That's right. It's made in the USA by the way. Yeah. And third-party tested. It's a 90-day money-back guarantee. 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The friendships I've gained from this show, like the love that we've got from this show, the people that I've earned from this show that I've gained, the fanship. The fans are fucking unreal. I think it's the coolest thing we've ever done. I've said this before. I'm going to be corny. But this changed my life in the best way, in a way that I could never have dreamed or even hoped for. It was the greatest. It's been the greatest moment in my career. And if this is the greatest thing I ever do, that's awesome for me. if I never do anything bigger, better, more impactful in the comedy world, this has been the greatest thing that's ever happened in my career by a landslide. It brought you and I closer as friends, as brothers. It, it, I don't know. It just did something for me that I'll never, ever, ever be able to top no matter what it is. That's a fact. I'll never be able to top this. The most fun, it's the most fun I've ever had in my entire life. It's been the best ride. So hopefully that'll be amazing. When the fuck is it my turn to do the grud at, toothpick i wasn't waiting i wasn't gonna go man sorry man i'm sorry i went on and on i'm sorry i apologize go ahead it was a good ride man that's all i have to say man good ride yeah what are you johnny depp what are you doing yeah dude are you tweaking out hey man we fucking did it dude this changed your career this changed your career what career did what's up man i'm free yeah yeah can you imagine what life would be like without bad friends for you? Not as good. Not as good, dude. How fucking insane. What you went through. Your dad dying, a relationship ending. I can't do my fucking gratitude. Sit down, man. Are you still on McGovie? I know. You got to increase the doses. I quit taking it three weeks ago. I know. Well, because I can tell. It's wiggling. I know. It's wiggling. So fast? Well, because – It comes back so fast. Immediately. Immediately. Because I saw the Wigobi commercial in the Super Bowl and I said, Bobby's on that. And somebody goes, still? And I go, I don't know. Yeah, I don't think so. It's changing, dude. It's changing, yeah, yeah, yeah. It's a return of rapid return of appetite, increased cravings, and for most users, significant weight regain. It's cereal for me. It's the best. At four in the morning. What is it? I do three different kinds. Whoa, whoa, whoa. What are they? What are the kinds? Okay, so I do – What's Bobby Lee's triple combo? We already talked about the – but it's life cinnamon, cinnamon light. What? Golden Grahams You're probably not going to like The first two are good Frosted Mini Wheats Get fucked What are you 60? Almost And then sometimes I do Cocoa Pebbles Love What's your favorite cereals? If you had to combine three cereals What do you eat? In the Philippines we had Cocoa Crunch We have Bet Guano It was a Boco Crunch. Coco Crunch. Oh, yeah, Coco Crunch. Coco Crunch. Okay. It was just... The Milo one too, though. Milo. We love Milo. It was just mud, but we call it Coco Crunch. Little balls of mud. That one, Coco Crunch. Coco Crunch. Oh, it's different than our Coco Crunch. It's still Nestle, though. Yeah, it's gotta be Nestle. It's so good. Yeah, Coco Crunch is good. Coco Crunch, what are you? And Fruit Loops. Fruit Loops. Fruit Loops. Fruit Loops. Yeah. Is it a toucan or a bat? Do you remember when Fruit Loops was a Mandela effect? The burr? Don't look it up Drives me nuts Yeah Well it's like I learned today Do you know what Fruit Loops How do they spell Fruit Loops Fruit Loops Yeah very good Very good Six years You know We cruising Yeah What is it Fruit F F U No O F-R-O-O-T. L-O-O-P. Fruit loop. It's how you guys would say it. Fruit loop. Fruit loop. Look, it's fruit loop. It's not spelled like fruit. It's spelled fruit. Fruit loop. Look at that. Do you know that? No. It's a Mandela effect. You know what a Mandela effect is? Some people think it's like a different way and some people think it's something. You remember it. You think you remember it one way, but it actually was never that way. There's one that fucked me up today. I watched a Mandela thing on TikTok today. Crazy. You brought it up. Suspenders. Suspenders or not on Mickey Mouse. Yes. Look it up right now. Mickey Mouse suspenders. He never had suspenders. But I remember him having suspenders. I got one. I got one for you. Hold on. I got another one that's going to fuck you up. Can I do one now? No. Yeah, please. Give me. You're the curious George? The monkey. Does he have a tail or no tail? He's got to have a tail. Does he have a tail? Yeah. Look it up. He does? Yeah, look it up. Wait, because you tricked me because my mind was going to say maybe he doesn't have a tail. He doesn't. Wait, he does not have a tail. He doesn't have a tail. When he's walking with the guy, he doesn't have a tail. That guy. Wow, he doesn't. He doesn't have a fucking tail. Did the park ranger take it? Yeah. Oh, wait. Zoom in. Yeah. Is he a gorilla? Zoom in. Zoom in. Does he look like a gorilla? A baby. Look what he has. Yeah. He's got his nipple pierced. Probably a pot smoker. You know the tail's jammed in his ass. He tucks it. Yeah. He's a tucker. Give me a Mandela. The Monopoly Man. Yeah. Ask me. He's running with a bag of money. Yeah. Monocle? No monocle No monocle Interesting Yeah No monocle Look it up Monocle or no monocle What do you think? Nope So he never had one I know But that image of him running with a bag of money Yeah See the one right there The right one That For some reason people all thought he had a monocle I did too until I looked up I know all the men that left that Oh you know them all Yeah that's why I said it See but he used to have a cane Yeah But he never had a cane in this image The cane was years later He actually never had a cane in the original image I always thought he had a monocle I know I thought he did too That's Mr. Peanut Mr. Pena looks very similar Can I do my gratitude list? Yeah do gratitude please Will you do it right now? Alright so Please So when we went to the premiere You know we went And there was like It was at the Century City Mall Right? What a weird place And there was like That sea of kids Do you remember? Boys and girls club Boys and girls club And when I came out The place went crazy Yeah Chanting my name Yeah And it's all from Bad Friends Well it's your whole career I know but no No, but it was essentially the last seven years of my life. Yeah. Which is – this has been a big part of – it's – I remember when after Mad, Pauly told me, dude, you're never going to make it, dude. Yeah, he did. He goes, dude, if Mad didn't do it, dude, nothing's going to do it, dude. What an asshole. And then now he says, you made it, dude. Okay. Yeah, I mean so it's like you could just kind of feel. You could feel it in the wind, in the streets. You made it a long time ago. No, I don't think so, dude. But Bad Friends was solidified. The little kids from Boys and Girls Club, holy shit. Because I remember you were signing their shirts. They lost their mind for Bobby. It was so funny, man. They were like – it was fandom. And you're talking kids. Like they never saw Mad TV. Like they weren't alive. These are 9 to 12-year-old kids. But they were losing their minds. They were having so much fucking fun. It was cool. You don't believe us? No, I believe them. I'm here for all of this. You can thank us for this fame. Whoa. Like, you just show up and sit down for 90 minutes, but a lot goes into it. This is what you do. This is what you do. Boop. All right. I say boop. I do what you do. Boop. That's it. I do that. Why do you do that? This is what you do. That's a booper. I'm basically your manager, dude. This is what you do. This is what you do. Yeah, come at six Why don't you thank Why don't you give some gratitude Fans for the six Yeah, you three have some gratitude Let's go Well, no, no, no Let's hear fancy most importantly He was here from the very, very beginning There's not a better middleman than you Thank you I think I got that Because remember in London I had a dream Yeah Once No, and that dream is It's not dead Just like Martin Luther King I had a dream And it was like, what can I aspire to? And it's like, can I be the better middleman? And you made it through. Thank you. Oh, shit. You feel good? You feel good, dude? You deserve it, man. you're the best middle man dude you're the best middle ever okay carlos words of affirmation words of wisdom words of peace words of grace best job ever um my first job in la was driving escorts and my last one is working with y'all here and i love it kind of the same yeah pretty close um so thank you bobby thank you andrew i appreciate it thanks for having me on i saw I came out on episode 87. 87? That was your first? Yeah. So it's awesome to still be here. I feel like you've been here forever, like since the beginning. Well, essentially. Right? Because what? 52 weeks, right? So he did within the beginning of the second season, second year, is when he came on. No. The only reason he didn't come on earlier is because we were on a restrictive cast because COVID. We couldn't. Oh, that's right. Nobody wanted. We couldn't have people at the studio. Yeah. Who was doing? It was just you, right? It was just fancy alone. Alone. Under the stairs. Well, I remember under the stairs. And then George would come sometimes. We'd kick him out fast. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Pete, then it came. Then Pete came. Pete. Remember Pete? I love Pete. You'd just throw croissants at him. Remember that? You'd just throw croissants at him. You'd call him Peter Chocolat. He'd go, Peter Chocolat. And he'd throw a chocolate croissant at Pete. We love Petey. Yeah. Petey and George would come on. And then after COVID wiggled its way away from our psyche, when we were sick of the bullshit, that's when he joined. And McCone, you're a newbie. You're only two. It's coming up on three. This will be the third year. Wow. When Sickler was on, that was the first time I was here. Wow. Yeah, you came in in that tough year. Tough. Yeah, that was a tough year. It was hard. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, there's a lot going on. Yeah, yeah. We're grateful to have you guys along for this ride. mccone and carlos and fancy and uh also you the jewels also the jewels more than anything we've had great guests it's been crazy yeah we've had the last couple years we've had great guests yeah yeah yeah when they said jack black wanted to do the show i was like we had cena has he seen the show john cena yeah and efron nuts the world uh has been crazy and we're going to continue to do the show for the fans because it's the most fun we've ever had It is by far. Yeah. And I do think, I'm making a slight prediction, but the fall of 2027, which is a full year and a half away, we'll do a Bad Friends global tour. Really? Yeah. Our last one. Our last tour together. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I think we'll do one big... The last one's supposed to be our last one. Yeah. But we'll do one final... We'll do one more. Well, that's what all good bands do. Yeah. You have to be on tour with us. Yeah. You do. You really do. You do. It's only fair. Yeah, it's only fair. Can we go to the Philippines? Yeah. Yeah. If we can sell tickets. Yeah. And also fancy has to come. Are you working on another baby? No. Be honest. Because we can't take you if you have another kid. So if you have another kid, you can't. Because we're childless, you know? Yeah. We're sloths of the street. We're childless trash. Yeah. It's better for you guys. Focus on work. Oh, is that facetious? You being a smart ass? No. You just got a citizenship, dude. Don't make us take it away. You better calm down. Okay. You guys showed up for my special. I remember. You did. That was really sweet. Powerful. Now you guys were backstage and, you know, I thought that, you know, you can, you can get in your head and go, oh, that was bad or whatever. Because, you know, you, you, you know, you get off stage, you're like, I could have done this better, this and that. And then you guys were like, no, that was, you know what I mean? I just, the affirmation made it clear. I believed you. when you guys said that it's good I believed you. Sometimes I don't believe comics. Comics, no. But these guys are our friends and they'll tell you the truth. They're not on stage every night. Yeah. They really mean it when they say it. Finally. Finally. It's not really etched in stone. We can think of another one. I think finally is so good but I think it's finally. You think so? Finally with two E. I don't like playing on word shit. Really? I don't. That's kind of like the whole thing. I'm not a punny. That's what we do here at this show. I know, but I'm not in my own personal life a punny punny. No, finally is very poignant anyway. Just finally. Nothing's finally. Yeah, it's beautiful. Yeah, yeah. I'll say this. What's really going to happen is. Tell us. The year will be met with great strife and struggle. A lot of wild shit going on right now. It's already bad now, though. I know. But it's going to chill out at the end of the year because people will be sick of the nonsense. I don't know, dude. And they'll go, what do we need to break up the year? And they'll say, finally, Bobby Lee. It's been a long, wonderful, fun, raving again. Would you re- Oh, yeah. I just remember that, there's little tiny things that happen on the show that I'll never forget. You sang the joke of Thumble. Thumble's one of the funniest jokes you ever said. I laughed harder than I've ever laughed. In fact, we revisited tonight at my buddy Jim's house. We revisited, because a commercial came out the super bowl i said bobby's on wagovi and i said i remember when he was on ozempic and he threw up for the promo for the halloween episode two years ago yeah and you puked right there in the front room yeah and i laughed so fucking hard i laughed i couldn't stop laughing i thought you were goofing around when you were like i don't feel good i was like you're being a but at the time you weren't laughing yeah i was cracking up you see in the clip i never laughed he heard you laugh louder when i fell yeah it's the funniest moment i've ever seen yeah yeah yeah when you fell on the roller skates is maybe one of the finest yeah no but you throwing up in the hallway got me so good because the first couple times i was like oh no but it kept coming i couldn't stop that dude i was so sick i had to walk in the other room oh my god i was so sick yeah but now look at you i know but fat again no yeah yeah you're not fat again yeah i'm just getting rolls but you got off of wagovi why'd you stop using it i just got so nauseous dude you were tired of the nausea i'm just yeah but now I just got new medication for the nausea. But now I'm on Lexapro. So you're on Antipro? So I'm on so many different things now. It's like, you know what I mean? So I'm like afraid to. Who's prescribing? My psychiatrist. Well, maybe you should change. No, Lexapro is really working. No, but Lexapro. I couldn't come the other night. That was the scary part. I know. I remember. So Lexapro. Lexapro off. So Lexapro on. Wagovi off. Yeah. Anti-nausea medication on. No, off until I'm back on Wagovi. When you go back, you can do this. I think tomorrow is the day. You can go back? Yeah, yeah. It's like a low humming nausea, right? You're not going to vomit, but it's kind of like a light sickness that's in your gut. I don't like that. Right? And you're just walking around with it. And it's just like, I was just tired of that. Yeah. I'm back on creatine, which is crazy. What's that? creatine creatine is a very long researched long use product you use for post-exercise or well i mean i use post-exercise some people do it pre but it uh i found out some of the health benefits of creatine outside of like muscle building and stuff for the brain i used to take it when i was in college and i worked out a lot and then i stopped but then look at the the health the brain benefits of creatine it's actually amazing do you need a prescription for that no brother creatines you could buy at the store it's just you know for improved short-term memory. I mean, I'm on real medications and you brought up creatine. Like, that was weird. I take vitamins. All right. It's like... Well, I told you maybe you shouldn't be overly prescribed drugs. Yeah, it's a little startling because I now... Because I have... I'm on Ritalin. Yeah, see, this is my thing is they want to throw everything at you. I have so much. I have Ritalin, now Lexapro, also a Tenanol. Is your penis working? No. I can get erect because of Blue Chew. Yeah, where is it? It's not on the space show. Do you have one of those little things that says Monday, Tuesday? A blue chew? No. A pill case? Yeah, a pill case. You have a pill case? No, but I have like a row. It's a system. Yeah, so it's a pill case. I have a system, yeah. I just don't want to take a lot of pills anymore. Yeah, I don't know if I need it. I think if the Lexapro helps, that's good. Are you on any medication at all? It is helping. Are you on it? You know what? It stops some of the ruminating thoughts. Yep. Because I have these things that reoccur in my head. Of course. And I'm in a mental nightmare. You're on Lexapro as well? I've been on it for like five years now. And on PrEP, right? You're on PrEP? No. Although a doctor did recommend that to me once. You might be. He was like, you should probably get into this. You might get into PrEP. What is PrEP? What is PrEP? It's what gay people take. It's not for gay people. It's for people that are at risk of getting HIV at a higher level. I said gay people. You people. Your people. Yeah, there's fun stuff that gets you AIDS. That's what I'm saying. So you could catch HIV. Wait, so if you take it, you can't get it. You can't get it. It's preventative. It's preventative, yeah. But I'm not on PrEP. I know, but what are the side effects of that? Having too much fun at Hamburger Mary's. on a Wednesday. Nausea, headache, diarrhea, fatigue, and abdominal pain. You already have those, so you're thinking. Yeah. So what we want to say is thank you for being a bad friend. Woo-hoo! Yeah!